Romancing the (Martial) Artist

Chapter 48

It’s amazing to me how much of a lack of perspective some people can have. And by some people, in this case I mean me. Despite my very life hanging by a thread, I still found it in myself to be annoyed by everyone’s hovering over me. Yes, I could literally disappear at any moment, but my inherent introvert still rankled at the forced abundance of my personal space being invaded.

And I do mean everyone, by the way! Somehow some version of what I was dealing with had gotten out into the public knowledge and everyone from Cranky Doo to Diamond Tiara of all people was checking up on me! What exactly they had been told, I probably didn’t want to know. I could find out and possibly correct them, but then I’d just be starting the game of telephone anew and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort.

And so, no matter how much I wanted to crawl off into Whitetail Woods and be alone for a bit, I stayed put. No amount of minor relief was worth the stress I’d put everyone through if they didn’t know where I was. So I just sucked it up.

In an effort to at least be under constant surveillance on my own terms, I was spending the day in Sugarcube Corner helping Pinkie with baking. The smell of cooking yeast was doing wonders for my fraying nerves. I won’t claim to be a world class pastry chef or anything but I had dabbled. My great grandma’s mondel bread, brownies, cookies, bread, these were a few of the things I had cooked at home.

Pinkie, for her part, was keeping chit-chat to a bare minimum, for which I was grateful. As surprisingly easy as Pinkie was on my social batteries, she could still be a bit much from time to time. Speaking of, I needed a solution to that problem before I snapped.

I had an idea but…bringing it up could be kind of awkward. I was considering asking Luna to make me a familiar in the same vein as the Tantabus. It could monitor me while not being intrusive and hopefully not become an existential threat.

Of course, I had no idea if this was the best idea or not, even removing that whole event. And now I was second guessing myself because I hesitated. What was the right course of action? I mulled these thoughts around and around in my head until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Ranma, I think that dough is kneaded enough,” Pinkie said. I looked down at the bowl I had been working and saw the dough was a torn up mess.

“Dammit,” I swore under my breath, adding a little bit of water to try and loosen the dough back up. I felt Pinkie’s concerned eyes on me. I tamped down on the frustration welling up within me. I was just so powerless! And indecisive and feckless and just altogether worthless!

I groaned and put the bowl down. I knew better than to try and fix my mess when my head was getting to this state. Before I could keep beating myself up my mouth was invaded by chewy chocolate goodness. I tried to mumble something through the chocolate sealing my mouth, but Pinkie wasn’t having it.

“Shhh, just let the chocolate renew you,” She said. I didn’t fight it. I just savored the magically delicious treat, as only Pinkie could make them.

“Better?” She asked when I swallowed the last of it.

“A bit,” I said. I still felt that awful exhaustion in my head that came with my more intense depressive episodes, but I was no longer spiraling.

“Good,” She put a plate of brownies in my hands, “Go home, eat all of these, tell Thistle to watch over you, and go to bed. Doctor Pinkie’s orders!”

“Yes doctor,” I gave a weak smile. I turned to leave.

“Oh, and Ranma? Luna’s a big girl, you don’t have to worry so much,” Pinkie grinned that infectious grin of hers.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, not bothering to question how Pinkie knew. I simply made my way home, ate the brownies in peace, and put Thistle on guard duty while I crawled into bed and tried to put the day behind me.

Author's Note

This month has just been a ceaseless parade of "fuck you". Not the least of which being my laptop blue screening while I was writing this chapter and corrupting the auto-save, causing me to have to rewrite the whole thing.

Family drama, personal health issues, insomnia, my PC being on its last legs and will probably die soon, this month has had it all. I can only hope my PC holds out until Black Friday when I can afford a new one.

The light at the end of the tunnel is FFXIV: Dawntrail coming out in t- 8 days. I'm really looking forward to it and I've prepped everything I can possibly prep. I'm hoping to make a boatload of gil off the expansion launch!