Murder Time, Fun Time

For Pinkamena, blowing up one drug lab wasn’t much of a mission even if there were two but Playa went after the other.

Since her lust for destruction wasn’t satisfied for the day, Pinkamena decided to have a chat with one of the contacts of the Saints who resided nearby in Southern Cross.

The contact was in a club at one of the back tables. When Pinkamena saw him, he looked like he was in the throes of pleasure for some reason. When he saw Pinkamena, his attention returned to reality. “Get outta here puta,” he said.

Pinkamena tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes at him as if holding back a part of her that wanted to make him her next work of murder art. “I hope you aren’t referring to me,” she said warily.

The man held up his hands in defense, “No no no, not you Senorita Poni.” A second later, some woman wearing purple crawled out from under the table which explained to Pinkamena why he acted like he was getting a blowjob, because he was. Her expression softened before he continued, “Sorry ‘bout that, I got a little work for you. I heard about how you helped Mary at $tock$ so you should be able to help me.

“Until I opened this club, I was a nobody. My neighbors, my family...they didn’t give a fuck about me. But as soon as I had money, that all changed. Suddenly everyone’s my friend, and they all need favors. Now, I ain’t got a problem helpin’ people out so long as they understand the consequences.

“If they meet their end of the deal, it’s no problem...but when they don’t...that’s when I need people like you. Go out there and show those pendejos why they can’t fuck with Rico Martinez.”

“So you want me to blow up their shit?” Pinkamena asked.

“Si”

“Alrighty then.” Pinkamena walked out of the club and prepared her weapons for her next rampage.

Once she arrived at the designated location, the madmare started blowing up everything in sight by littering the streets in car parts, the land in debris from destroyed city property, and painted the sidewalks in the blood of pedestrians.

Whenever she was finished razing an area, she would take a few pedestrians and use their blood to paint “Rico Martinez” in the streets where everyone could see it. After all, Rico did want everyone to know what happens when you fuck with him.

While her little act would have a negative impact on Rico’s reputation, she still completed the objective that the club owner had set her to do. Even if he might be upset about the macabre message to his “friends”, Rico would also understand that sometimes there are consequences to hiring Pinkamena Diane Pie to cause havoc.

Despite Rico’s mixed feelings about Pinkamena’s methods, she still upheld her end of the deal and he provided a supply of molotov cocktails as well as her payment.

Her bloodlust satisfied for the time being, Pinkamena returned to the church to discuss the next phase of Dex’s plan. Julius informed her that he, Troy and Playa were waiting for her at Freckle Bitch’s.

A short walk later, Pinkamena arrived to see the three of them looking at a map.

“What if we came from here and here?” Troy asked, pointing at two locations on the map.

“No, they’d just see it coming. Cops try that shit all the time and it never works,” Dex said.

“Shit, you’re right. Well, what should we do then?”

“Well we could-” Dex notices Pinkamena and beckons her over. “Aight, let’s get started.”

“I got a lead on where the Los Carnales cut all their shit.”

“The Carnales,” Dex corrected.

“Wha?” Troy asked confusedly.

“He’s saying that putting ‘the’ and ‘Los’ next to each other in the same sentence is redundant because both words are the same thing. It’s like saying ‘the the Carnales’.” Pinkamena explained.

“Exactly, thank you,” Dex said, grateful that someone understood that basic concept.

“Well excuse me for not paying attention in Spanish class.” Troy rolled his eyes.

“Neither did I and even I knew that much,” Pinkamena countered. Troy grumbled to himself.

As amused as he was to see Troy losing in a battle of wits, he needed to get the conversation back on track. “Like i was sayin’, we’re not gonna raid the factory quite yet.”

“Why not?” Troy inquired.

“Cause I’m not a gun toting psychopath named Johnny Gat.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes at Dex’s comment.

“Fair enough. So what’s the plan?”

“One of my boys called and said they saw a truck with a heavy LC escort leavin’ the factory district. It’s probably loaded with drugs, but that’s just a bonus, our target is the truck itself. I need it brought back to the Row in one piece; it’s no good to us blown to shit.”

“What do you need the truck for?”

“Let’s just get the truck first, then I’ll tell ya the rest of the plan.”

“I’m just sayin’ it’d be nice to know.”

“Shit, Troy, what’s with all the questions?”

“Yeah,” Pinkamena chimed. “What are you, a cop?”

Troy tensed up from the mare’s question. The mare noticed that the man started to sweat a little. This told the mare what she needed to know about him but decided to let it lie for now and if it did come back to bite her in the flank, she’d divide his remains and feed them to the Stillwater Police Department.

Dex broke up the tension by telling the group to focus on getting the truck. He then left to deal with his own business while Playa, Troy and Pinkamena got into one of Playa’s cars and went to fetch the truck in Poseidon Alley docks at the southern end of the city.

On the way, Troy went over his plan of needing protection while he hijacked the truck. Then he complained about Julius’ idea about getting into the drug trade. Next, he stateed his concerns about retaliation from Hector Lopez. Pinkamena rolled her eyes and wondered whether or not to go through with her plans for Troy.

Once they arrived at the truck at the docks, Troy got out of the car and into the truck to hotwire it. While he was doing that, the Carnales were coming in force to the docks to protect their shipment.

While Playa used his conventional weapons to repel the defenders, Pinkamena pulled out a fish from her mane, took a deep breath and held it, then cut the fish open with her knife then quickly threw it into a large group of Carnales that gathered in one place. The fish released some highly intoxicating fumes into the air that quickly rendered the Carnales group into a drug-induced high. Pinkamena released her breath then tossed a molotov cocktail at the inebriated gang members which resulted in the air around them igniting and setting them and their cars ablaze. The following explosion just made the performance even more glorious.

Troy took a moment to stare at what just happened. “How did a fish make them high?” he thought.

Five years later…

One of the Sons of Samedi members walked around the Sunnyvale Gardens Fishing Dock checking on the Loa Dust stashes they had stored in the freezers. To ensure the drugs were in good condition for delivery, the gang had stored the drugs inside the frozen fish until it was ready for shipping.

The green-wearing thug was patrolling past one particular freezer when he noticed there was a strange gap in between two of the drug-filled fish. However, since there was no telling how the fish disappeared and he was the one on duty when it happened, he decided that it would be in his best interest to pretend that there was never a fish there and move on. He let it be someone else’s problem.

Present

Troy finally finished hotwiring the truck and floored the pedal to make a fast break out of the docks, smashing a few Carnales cars and earning himself a few counts of vehicular manslaughter.

Pinkamena fired a grapple gun to the top of the truck before it got too far while Playa went to find his car to pursue. Once atop the truck, Pinkamena attached a party cannon to the truck and set it up like a turret. Once set she opened fire on pursuing Carnales vehicles while Playa acted as escort.

One particular Carnales car caught Pinkamena’s attention but Pinkie stopped her from firing at it. Pinkie quickly took over and abandoned the party turret in favor of leaping from the truck and landing on the Carnales vehicle.

Pinkie quickly jumped on the roof of the car which prompted the driver to move his arm out of the vehicle to take a blind shot at the party pony. Pinkie grabbed the arm and pulled the driver out of the car to toss him into the grass beside the road.

The car began to swerve with no driver but Pinkie quickly jumped into the car and took control of the wheel.

Playa managed to take out the remaining pursuers while Pinkie was doing her insane carjacking stunt. Thanks to the duo, Troy managed to get the truck back to Samson’s garage in the Saint’s Row district.

Meanwhile, Pinkie drove off without anyone giving her leave in order to deliver the La Fuerza she just hijacked to Miguel...after a detour for the customizations.