Murder Time, Fun Time

It was not long after Pinkie helped the young “romance manager” with his business that her phone had received a number of texts from different sources. Word had spread fast that the pink pony who helped shady business owners in the past was active again. There were about thirty-one texts requesting assistance with their businesses. Many of them she was familiar with while others were new for her.

Some tasks she would leave to either Gilda or Treehugger, some would give Pinkie something new to do, some made Pinkamena excited and one particular activity type actually made Pinkamena squee in delight.

After reviewing the tasks, Pinkie placed the activity locations on her map app on her phone.

Lindsey rewarded Pinkie with a strange coupon that was said to provide a significant decay rate of Sons of Samedi notoriety.

Pinkie’s phone rang as she stowed the coupon in her mane so she pulled that out. The call was from Shaundi.

“Hey, thanks for getting me the dust. I’ll try to find out what it’s made of. In the meantime, I got some good intel about a drug lab at Elysian Fields in the trailer park district near the suburbs. Apparently, the Sons have been using the trailer park to develop their products for years. If you can find what trailers they’re using for drug labs, you should have no problem making them go ‘boom’.

“Also, when you get done, I wanna start movin’ some product through the north island but the Ronin aren’t makin’ it easy. I don’t mind goin’ in there and making the deals but you gotta give me some heavy support. I got a friend who has an attack chopper on blocks you can borrow, so that should be interesting…”

“Okay, aerial attacks aren’t really my thing,” Pinkamena responded. “If Playa isn’t doing anything, let him handle the chopper. Meanwhile, see about making sure Gilda knows how to use weapons, especially RPG launchers. If she asks, tell her it’s because I said so. Have her provide assistance to Playa. And give her something to put in her ear so she can receive communications.” The call ended there.

When she arrived at the Elysian Fields Trailer Park, she received another phone call. The madmare groaned and rolled her eyes. To her surprise though, it was from a number that didn’t show up on her caller ID. “If this is a telemarketing scam, I’m burning down whatever company is selling me something,” she thought out loud.

She answered the call and listened, “Listen up: I got some people that need to be taken care of...you take ‘em out and there’s somethin’ in it for ya.” The call ended and her phone received an attachment. When she downloaded the attachment, she received a list of six people. There were also conditions that needed to be met before they came out of hiding and what type of weapon they needed to be killed with. She stored her phone in her mane and began the operation of clearing out the trailer park.

From looking around, Pinkamena noticed a significant number of Samedi were holed up inside the nearby laundromat. It might be the best place to start looking for some clue about where the drug labs were.

Part of her thought about blowing up the entire trailer park along with the drug labs instead of searching the laundromat but that would take away the fun of painting the building red.

Pinkamena decided to target the laundromat first. She used her platinum RPG launcher to blow up any cars parked near the building along with any Samedi guards. Those that remained alive outside the building were quickly gunned down by her SMGs.

The madmare switched to close quarters combat with her knife as she cut down the Samedi inside the building. She did everything she could to turn the inside of the building into a horrific crime scene while giggling at the thought of making a few janitors quit their job due to the sheer magnitude of the mess she was making.

During her rampage, Pinkamena noticed a number of explosive devices lying around. The devices appeared like a portion of them had a sticky surface and appeared like they could be detonated remotely since she also found a remote detonator. Knowing about the fun that could be had with such devices, she stuffed each device into her mane.

She came across a map of the trailer park with her targets marked on it with red circles. She ignored the map in favor of causing a lot more damage.

Outside the laundromat, the Sons of Samedi were none too happy to see her as they pointed their pistols and SMGs at the madmare. The group of Samedi tried concentrating their fire on her as a group but she managed to take cover before the shots were fired.

As the group continued their focused attack, they didn’t notice the flying object that landed in the car behind them. They never noticed the object and never knew what hit them after Pinkamena pressed the button on the remote detonator, triggering a huge explosion that blew up the car, the gang members and the trailer behind the car.

Pinkamena rushed forward and literally cut into the surviving gang members with her knife.

The madmare had to work fast because more Samedi would be coming to protect their drug labs. She planted every charge she had on the nearest trailers while bucking cars, civilian and Samedi alike, into the trailers that didn’t have satchel charges planted on them.

Once she was a safe distance away, she hit the button on the remote detonator again and observed the glorious explosions that took place. The blasts would likely be seen for miles.

After the Sons of Samedi abandoned the ruins of the trailer park, Pinkamena checked the ruins to see if she could confirm something. The only thing she saw was a piece of a shirt that said “Security” on it. Thinking that was good enough, she crossed Shannon’s name off her list of targets.

To say that Gilda was nervous about being on the battlefield for the first time would have been an understatement. However, she did everything she could to make sure it didn’t show, her pride wouldn’t allow it.

Her crash course in using weapons had been simple since all she needed to know was which end the bullets or rockets came out and where the trigger was so she could shoot. The only thing she needed to learn in the field was how to aim. She took some time to learn that before she had to take to the field. It didn’t take long for the griffon to get the hang of her new weapons.

She was ready for the field just in time before Playa signaled her to follow him to Elysian Fields. Playa gave Gilda a receiver for her to place in her ear. He then got into a car and drove there while Gilda followed him from the air.

After a few minutes of driving and flying respectively, Playa and Gilda arrived at the attack helicopter that Shaundi borrowed. Playa quickly jumped out of his car and headed directly into the flying vehicle’s cockpit.

Once the vehicle was airborne, Shaundi gave the two instructions through their receivers. Their first objective was a Ronin aircraft that was patrolling the skies above the streets and needed to be shot down first. Gilda aimed her RPG at the aircraft when she spotted it, about a few seconds before Playa did. The griffon was the first to fire at it and she managed to shoot it down.

Shaundi’s next objective for them was to provide aerial assistance to a group of Saints that were pinned down in a gunfight against the Ronin. The duo saw that the Ronin had the high ground against the beleaguered Saints.

Gilda pulled out a pair of SMGs and swooped down on the unsuspecting Ronin, gunning down about ten of them before she pulled back up and out of their range. She then pulled out her RPG launcher and fired at the motorcycles that accompanied the attackers. The resulting explosions also took out most of the Ronin in the area. Playa finished off the rest.

“Wow,” Gilda thought, “I haven’t felt this much of a thrill since...well...now that I think about it, I’ve never had this much thrill back home.”

After the initial assault, Shaundi began driving all over the northern island of Stilwater to sell drugs to her contacts. Gilda and Playa provided an aerial escort for the lieutenant. Playa focused on the Ronin vehicles that pursued Shaundi while Gilda provided anti-air support against the Ronin helicopters. The ground forces sometimes fired rockets at them but Playa was able to easily dodge the predictable rockets and Gilda was more agile in the air than a helicopter as long as she was paying attention.

Once Shaundi’s rounds were complete, Playa returned the attack helicopter and Gilda returned to the hideout.

Shaundi gave Gilda a coupon for a fifteen percent discount on weapons store purchases. The griffon would ask Pinkamena about them later.

While the action in the sky was going on, Pinkamena hunted down her prey.

The madmare used a jet ski to get to the nuclear power plant before she dialed 555-6677 and reported an accident. A man in a hazmat suit arrived and Pinkamena tackled him to a wall before affixing him to said wall with electrodes buried in his wrists and ankles. She then wired the electrodes to a car battery through a switch. Once she turned the device on, she put on a pair of sunglasses and watched the light show as Jim was fried.

Pinkamena looked through some music tracks at the Scratch That store in the suburbs when she noticed her target, Roje, looking through them as well. Without looking at him she pulls her pistol out and shoots him in the head before ringing up her selections. If she ever made it back to Equestria, there was an old acquaintance of hers that might want to listen to them.

For her next target, she decided to brutally injure some random person and call an ambulance for them while following the paramedics to the hospital nearest the Downtown district. Once she got inside, it didn’t take long for her to locate Mike and fill him full of holes.

While Pinkamena was against drinking herself under the table to kill a target, she was not against giving free beer to some random college student and hiding while they waited for Clint to show up. A few people who looked like Clint appeared on her minimap before too long. However, Pinkamena managed to track down the correct target through her Pinkie Sense before jumping into Clint’s car, throwing Clint’s buddy out of the car and onto someone’s grill, and shoving a pinless grenade down her target’s throat before jumping out and awaiting the satisfying explosion.

Since Greg was in the witness protection program, it was likely he would have police near him as protection but Pinkamena wasn’t worried as she ordered one of everything from the Freckle Bitch’s menu. As expected from her client’s intel, Greg showed up to offer franchise opportunities while wearing a lamb mascot outfit. The madmare hurled a molotov at the mascot and his police escort which burned the cops alive while the mascot survived. She then grabbed the mascot, slammed him onto a table, and stabbed him in the chest with her kitchen knife as if she were performing a ritual sacrifice.

Once the targets were all dead, the mysterious caller called again and promised to deliver a supply of grenades for the Saints to use.

Pinkamena’s phone rang, this time it was from Playa.

“Hey, meet me at the overlook in Rebadeaux, Shaundi and Treehugger are getting into an argument about something related to the Loa Dust and I was wondering if you could translate for your friend.”

Pinkamena hit her head against the steering wheel several times, causing her car to honk each time. With a sigh, Pinkamena drove to Rebadeaux to see what the stoner pony had gotten herself into this time.

Shaundi and Treehugger were still fighting by the time Pinkamena got there.

“I keep telling you what it is, you gotta listen more,” Treehugger said.

“And I keep sayin’ I’ve never heard of whatever you call that plant,” Shaundi countered.

“It’s a Zebrican plant that is native to Zebrica but it also grows in Gaiti.”

“I’ve never even heard of those places.”

“You should find them on a map easily.”

“Enough!” Pinkamena shouted. “Treehugger, we’re not on Equus anymore those places wouldn’t exist on the map. However, this world does have parallels to our own.” She looks at Shaundi, “I believe she is referring to a type of marijuana that is native to Africa and Haiti. However, she doesn't know what you call it here.”

“Then I guess we need to call in someone who can tell us,” Shaundi said. “I do know of someone but there’s one problem...she’s in prison.”

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment before she realized who she was talking about, “Wait, you mean Laura?”

“You know her?”

“I went on a number of drug deals with her over the years and set up a number of parties for the school district before she finally got caught by the cops.”

“In that case, it’s time to bust her out. And I know just the thing. Samson, get over here!”

Samson walked clumsily to Shaundi while carrying a box and holding a detonator. Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off and she ran to Samson in time to grab the box and detonator before he tripped and possibly set the bomb to explode too soon.

“Nice catch. Plant that bomb near the old generator underneath the prison and you should be able to sneak in no problem.”

“And how do I get down there?”

“I’m getting to that, relax...just swing around the back of the island and go in through there...it’ll lead you to the generator.”

Pinkamena nodded and stuffed the bomb in her mane before heading to the nearby dock to steal a boat to the island.

The boat ride was uneventful and she docked the boat near what looked like an abandoned mine shaft. The rest of the way to the generator was also uneventful. Once she planted the bomb, she retreated to a safe distance before the explosion.

Moving forward, the prison was in chaos as alarms were blaring but the prison lighting was dark enough for her to sneak past some prison guards...but what would be the fun in that?

The prisoners were rioting and fighting the guards but the prisoners also attacked each other as if it were every person for themselves. Since they adopted that mentality, Pinkamena saw no reason to spare the prisoners. Her infamous psychotic grin decorated her face as she used her knife to indiscriminately slice and dice every guard and prisoner in her way, leaving a trail of gore and scenes akin to blood-filled horror movies behind.

Her actions were cathartic to her because after dealing with the headache known as Treehugger, she needed it.

Eventually, the madmare made it to Laura’s cell. “Pinkamena? Is that you?”

“Hey Laura, let’s get out of here.”

“A jail break? How exciting!”

For Laura’s sake, Pinkamena toned down the gore on her way out of the prison which the housewife slash drug dealer was grateful for.

Their escape involved taking a helicopter which she let Pinkie drive. On the way back to the city, Laura stated her eagerness to see her husband, Tobias, who had been incredibly supportive of her while she was in jail.

Later, when they arrived at Laura’s house, Pinkamena asked if she could work with a friend of hers to help determine what went into the trademark drug of the Sons of Samedi. Laura was confident that she could easily figure it out and Tobias agreed with that as he stood in front of the doorway. The two lovers embraced and Pinkie couldn’t help but smile for the lovely couple.

After the two shared a tender moment, Laura told her pony friend that she would head to the Saints hideout to help identify the drug tomorrow.

With that, the door closed and Pinkamena went back to the hideout.

Meanwhile, while the madmare was breaking Laura out of prison, Playa led a crew of Saints to drive the Samedi out of Pilsen.