Murder Time, Fun Time

After the interview with Jane Valderamma on the subject of exposing the corruption of Ultor Corporation, Tera huddled in a corner at the hideout while she came to terms with the fact that she played the part of a typical mad scientist supervillain on public television and now that’s how the people of Stilwater were going to see her for a long time. However, part of her found that preferable to simply being humiliated on public television since the Stilwater media favored Ultor.

While Tera was having her freak out, Playa decided to spend some time tracking down the tags of the former gangs in the city by painting over them while scavenging the nooks and crannies of the city for music CDs that people carelessly tossed away. He also decided to go into the investing business and buy ownership interest in many small businesses throughout Stilwater. He also bought some new cribs for his Saints to hang out at and pimped out the cribs to maximize their entertainment.

While Playa was pursuing his hobbies, Pinkamena decided to get some more of the requests complete. From her count on her phone’s map, there were only nine more left. Two of three she would do today would be handled by herself and Pinkie while she would have to find someone willing to ride around on a blazing ATV.

“I’ll give it a try,” Treehugger said.

Pinkamena looked at the other pony and raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know how to drive an ATV?”

Treehugger shook her head, “No, but I still wanna try.”

Pinkamena shrugged before she called Shaundi to the lobby. “Think you can find an ATV and teach her how to drive one?”

“You think she can without hands to grip the handle?” Shaundi asked.

“I can drive and a lot better than Playa can, so being capable of handling an ATV shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well if you say so.”

With that, Shaundi left with Treehugger to find an ATV to teach her how to drive one. Meanwhile, Pinkamena had some lists to download.

Pinkamena couldn’t help but facehoof when the last hit list came from Pierce who made some bets against the university’s chess team and now he owes money to a bunch of people. She was tempted to just clear the list and take over as Pierce’s creditor and for how much she cares about the guy, she just might.

The other list was a request for cars from, strangely enough, a representative of Ultor. Pinkamena knew that the corporation would not act with a common mentality like a gang would and would prioritize the company over any grudges against a street gang. When the time came, the Saints would root out the executives who had a problem with them.

After a brief discussion with her sister, Pinkamena would hunt her targets first but if any of the target vehicles happened to be nearby she would pursue them.

Unfortunately for Pinkamena, some of her targets would require some assistance from Playa as she was not about to drink while conducting her assassinations, nor was she interested in spray painting nor was she interested in having sex with a human. However, she did notice that one of her targets was one she killed before so he was marked off her list.

Thankfully, Playa was nearby painting over another tag and as luck would have it, Brad showed up to admire Playa’s work. Pinkamena took the opportunity to steal one of Brad’s spray paint cans and pulled out a lit molotov. While Brad wasn’t looking, Pinkamena sprayed the paint through the flames and set Brad on fire as the paint burst into flames and hit him.

Playa asked Pinkamena why she torched the guy and the mare explained her latest set of assassination targets and requested his aid for some of them. Playa accepted her request and the two proceeded to the abandoned drive-in in Pleasant View. On the way, Playa bought some beer at Pinkamena’s request.

While Playa was wandering the abandoned drive-in while intoxicated, Alvan appeared and tried to make Playa leave since he was causing a disturbance in his drunken state.

Pinkamena pulled out a golden eyeball and a blank Duel Monsters card. She channeled some of her magic through the eyeball and transferred Alvan’s soul into the card. Afterward, she tore the card to shreds and threw the eyeball in the trash somewhere.

While Playa was still drunk Pinkamena drove him to the Misty Lane Technically Legal and had him get some action with a woman in a private room. James showed up, impatient about getting some action himself. He didn’t notice the party mine until it launched him into the ceiling where a conveniently placed spear was hung. The spear went through James’ head, through his body and out the rear end.

Pinkamena left Playa to finish his session while she pursued her remaining two targets.

She timed her calls to a local Freckle Bitch’s and a local taxi service so that Frank and Scott would arrive at about the same time. When they did she shot both in the head at the same time with a pistol in both forehooves.

With the list cleared, Pinkamena began actively hunting for the cars that Ultor wanted. Even if the corporation was her enemy, money was money.

After a series of events involving some hijacking, Pinkamena accidentally blowing up a couple of target cars, some evasion from the police and, for some reason, a race with Treehugger who was wearing a burning suit and driving an ATV which wrecked another of Pinkie’s target cars, Pinkamena returned to the hideout and prepared for bed but not before Treehugger approached her and told her about her newfound interest in fire.

“If you become an arsonist, I’m not letting you into my room,” Pinkamena said.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that interested in fire, but it is bright and pretty and warm. By the way, that nice guy from the college gave me this coupon and said it would make The Brotherhood back off faster after you upset them.”

Pinkamena took the coupon, congratulated Treehugger for completing the task and went into her room where she would sleep and prepare for her first encounter with The Brotherhood.

Playa approached Pinkamena and informed her of their plans for the day, “I just got a call from Carlos sayin’ that Maero wants to have a sit down with us in Stilwater Caverns.”

“Sounds like a waste of time. If he doesn’t come to us to beg us to spare his gang then all he’s doing is wasting all of our time.”

“We should hear him out at least, though I have a feeling that you’re right.”

Playa and Pinkamena headed for the Stilwater Caverns. Pinkamena ordered Gilda to remain out of sight but maintain an aerial reconnaissance in case something happened.

The duo met up with Carlos at the gift shop before they proceeded into the caves.

About halfway through the caverns, the trio came across the Brotherhood leader resting on a bench. When Playa’s flashlight shined on Maero’s face, he woke up and stared at them.

“You Maero?” Playa asked for confirmation.

“That’s right.”

“Where’s your crew then?”

“I don’t need one.”

Playa pointed his pistol at Maero. “I could kill you right now…”

Maero rose from the bench to intimidate Playa with his imposing stature. “No...you couldn’t.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “I’ve dealt with worse than you. All I’ve seen from you is a bunch of bark but I’m still not seeing the fangs.”

Maero pointed his shotgun at Pinkamena, “You want to keep testing my patience?”

Pinkamena’s communicator buzzed, telling her that she was getting a transmission from Gilda. “Yo boss, you might want to wrap it up. There’s a bunch of cops heading your way.”

Pinkamena acknowledged the griffon before turning her attention back to Maero, “How about you put your prosthetic dick to better use. We got some pigs squealing into the caverns and this butcher needs to get to work.”

Pinkamena charged back toward the gift shop and Playa and Carlos followed. Maero grunted and followed after the Saints.

Pinkamena did what she did best: paint the area around her in blood as she slashed up the cops one by one. One of the cops had to wonder why they even bothered going after the Saints while armed with only pistols since the infamous Butcher of Stilwater always seemed able to dodge bullets. That was his last thought before the madmare got to him and decapitated the poor officer.

Any police officer that managed to avoid Pinkamena’s rampage were soon gunned down by Playa and Carlos as they followed the carnage to the exit.

Once outside, Pinkamena held off the police until Playa, Carlos and Maero stole an empty police car. Once everyone was inside, Pinkie took the wheel and drove the group to the Brotherhood hideout at the Stoughton docks.

Once they arrived, Pinkamena took over again since they were still among enemies. Carlos commented that the Brotherhood around them made him think of a “coked-up sideshow.” Maero seemed very confident in his gang’s ability to intimidate people to avoid them.

Pinkamena saw a familiar face in the crowd of tattoo junkies. Some part of her was surprised that the guy hadn’t skipped town by now since the Rollerz were history. She would have to have a chat with Donnie when the time was more appropriate.

Donnie noticed the mare and quickly looked away, doing his best to avoid looking at her.

Once the group entered the hideout, Maero was greeted by who the Saints could only guess was his girlfriend given that she leapt into his arms. The woman introduced herself to the Saints as Jessica while regarding Carlos as if he were some house cleaner based on his hispanic heritage.

Maero distracted Jessica with some cash while he got into a chair and talked to another person in the room, Matt, who was tattooed like the rest of the gang and sporting a blonde mullet. Some conversation in the room informed the mare that he was not only a tattoo artist but also a lead guitarist to some lousy band called the “Feed Dogs.”

Carlos commented that Maero looked like he had enough tattoos on his body while Maero retorted that he had plenty of canvas left.

“So let’s get down to business,” Maero said. “The Brotherhood is about to come into something big and I think the Saints are gonna want to get in on the ground floor.”

“So what’s the offer?” Playa asked.

“20-80”

“I’m assuming I get the eighty.”

“Yeah, sure you do,” Maero said dripping with sarcasm.

“You really expect me to-”

Pinkamena interrupted Playa, “Here’s our counter offer, 95-5, our way.” She knew there was going to be no agreement so she decided to amuse herself by angering the Brotherhood leader.

Just as she had hoped, she got a rise out of him, “You honestly think you’re in any position to be making that kind of offer to me? Who do you think you are?” Matt managed to calm Maero down before he ended up ruining his newest tattoo.

“Careful Maero, you wouldn’t want to be wearing a long sleeve shirt for the rest of your life for a fit of anger,” Pinkamena taunted.

Maero didn’t take the bait this time and relaxed in the chair. “Your gang is nothing but a bunch of washed up bangers. You have no chance against the Brotherhood.”

“That’s where I beg to differ. Either you’re so arrogant that you don’t give a fuck about what’s been happening throughout Stilwater or you and your gang have stayed out of the loop and failed to realize that the Saints had already taken over nearly two thirds of Stilwater. The Ronin and the Sons of Samedi are history thanks to us. We have taken back the markets that they had taken from us.”

“You think I care about a bunch of crazed drug addicts and a bunch of Yakuza wannabes who are a long way from home?” Maero snapped. “We could have crushed those gangs anytime we wanted. All you did was take care of them for us. Also, what kind of gang leader lets their second run their mouth without their leader’s permission?”

Playa shrugged, “Honestly, I stopped caring after you gave me the 20-80 deal. I just let her handle the retort I woulda given if she weren’t here.”

“So you’re serious about challenging the Brotherhood?”

“Not like you guys are any different than anything we’ve taken so far,” Pinkamena retorted. “All I’ve seen of you guys so far are a bunch of tattoo junkies who yap like dogs and overcompensate for the tiny strings between your legs. So I guess the tattoos are the only reason Jessica still goes out with you.”

Jessica turned around and glared at the madmare while Maero growled, “Get out!”

Playa, Pinkamena and Carlos gladly did so with smirks on their faces.

The trio had satisfied looks on their faces as their diversion had allowed a crew of Saints to take Southern Cross and Cecil Park.

On the way back to the hideout, Shaundi called Playa to inform him that in order to get a complete lock on the markets at the University, he and Pinkamena would need to evict the Brotherhood from the Sommerset Apartments.

The Brotherhood members at the apartments didn’t know what hit them as each of the apartments that were housing a Brotherhood operation were attacked almost simultaneously: one by Playa, one by Pinkamena, and one by Carlos with assistance from Gilda. While this put an end to the prostitution, gambling and drug rings, they didn’t find where they were preparing the drugs.

Gilda spotted a vehicle driving away fast enough to look suspicious and decided to go after it. With the vehicle driving recklessly, Gilda figured it might have to do with the Brotherhood operations in the area so she blew it up with an RPG.

It turned out that her instincts were right as she and Pinkamena inspected the vehicle to find evidence of a mobile drug lab. Pinkamena praised the griffon for her initiative before the Saints returned to the hideout while Playa called in a crew to move in on the apartment district.

Playa and Pinkamena were surprised to find two unexpected guests in the lobby, one who they saw not too long ago and another who they had not seen in five years.

“Sup,” Lin said.

“Lin? Donnie? What are you guys doin’ here?” Playa asked.

“What’s it look like? We're joining your crew.”

Indeed, Lin and Donnie were both wearing purple. Playa was still in disbelief about someone from the old crew returning. “This isn’t some inside job on us like with the Rollerz, right?”

“Nope, to show you we’re being serious, Donnie and I came up with this plan to sabotage some of the Brotherhood cars and rigged them to explode. Since they didn’t suspect an inside job we were able to get away with it while they were left scratching their heads wondering what happened.”

“Pretty sure Maero knows we’re traitors by now though,” Donnie said.

Playa smiled as he approached the mechanic duo and placed each hand on one of their shoulders.

“Welcome to the Saints.”