Murder Time, Fun Time

Since Kinzie was going to hide in her bunker for a while, any significant actions against the Deckers would be put on hold for a while.

Pinkamena decided to take the time to examine her new cutie mark. The mark that she waited over thirty years to obtain was finally revealed on her flank. A silver colored fleur de lis on a liquid purple background was shown for the whole world to see.

At times, Pinkamena had given up hoping for a cutie mark within her lifetime because Harmony itself had given up on her. She feared that she would go her whole life sharing a cutie mark with her sister, a mark that she could not express.

Pinkamena’s destiny was of a criminal mastermind it would seem, and that was one that she was completely fine with.

“Can I say it now?” Pinkie asked.

“Alright, go ahead.”

“WOO-HOO! You did it! Congratulations!” The sound of Pinkie’s harmless party cannon went off in her head which she felt as the start of a headache.

“Okay that’s enough. We still have things to do in this city and I’d rather not get them done with a headache.”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

With the Saints focusing on Stanfield for the time being, and taking advantage of STAG still recovering from their ill-fated assault, it was time to take more of the city from the Syndicate which was now deprived of the Morningstar faction.

Before she began assigning tasks to her friends, Pinkamena received a phone call from Kinzie who gave her one last task before she completely shut herself in. Her informants from all over Stanfield had been compromised and she needed Pinkamena or whoever she assigned to the task to rescue them from the Deckers and drop them off at designated safe houses.

With that information in hoof, Pinkamena began assigning the tasks for the day. Their efforts were mainly focused on Ashwood and Salander. Since Gilda was the best at locating things from the air, she was once again assigned to finding collectibles in the two neighborhoods. Vinyl and Moondancer were assigned to bring the informants to the safe houses. Pinkamena hoped that being around Vinyl might help the uptight unicorn to loosen up. Octavia and Treehugger were assigned to hunt down groups of Deckers conducting deals. This left Pinkamena with the usual task of buying up stores and properties and participating in photo ops.

Vinyl and Moondancer spent their drive to the first known location of Kinzie’s contacts in silence for the most part. Moondancer had a distant look on her face, something that might not be a good idea in their current situation. Vinyl usually wasn’t one to think of others aside from Tavi, but in this situation, it might help to go against her usual behavior.

“Hey Moonie, the stars aren’t supposed to be out for a few more hours and you’re kinda looking in the wrong direction as well.”

Moondancer was broken from her trance and turned her attention to the DJ, “Huh? Oh sorry, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“It’s nothing.”

Vinyl thought for a moment and figured she could start things off. “Personally, there are plenty of things about this city that I like and dislike. The music here is amazing and has given me ideas for my next gig when we get back home.”

“How do you even know we can go home? What if we’re stuck in this insane world forever?” Moondancer asked while growing increasingly worked up.

“If we were stuck here, then I’d make the most of it. It’s easy for me to have a career as a DJ here. Tavi has options. You’re a smart pony, so I’m sure you could still have a future. If Mena believed we were stuck here, she’d probably go ahead and toss Playa off a skyscraper without a parachute and take over the Saints. If her new cutie mark means that she’s going to lead a criminal organization, she’ll make the Saints even bigger than the Syndicate could ever hope to be.

“Of course, the fact is, we’re not stuck here. Discord was nice enough to tell Tavi and me about the back door to Equestria. We just have to find it.”

Moondancer was silent for a while. After the first few deliveries of contacts, she spoke again, “Are you and the others alright with killing people?”

Vinyl took a moment to consider her next words. She knew this was a serious matter and she needed to think her answer through.

“We all have our reasons to fight. In Pinkamena’s case, she delights in the slaughter. She gets a thrill from watching people suffer. The main reason we don’t reject her is that despite how she is, she knows who her friends are and is willing to let others be her friend. As long as you don’t piss her off like others in her past from what I’ve heard, then you’re fine. Gilda fights because she gets to be the predator that she never got to be back home. Tavi just wants us all to get home alive. My reason and Treehugger’s reason are similar in that we just go along with what’s happening and make sure not to get killed while doing so. If they try to kill us then it’s only fair that we respond in kind.

“Unlike in Equestria where we get attacked by villains with sob stories, people here will try to kill us because they want to either control us, cage us, or experiment on us. We’re pretty much aliens on their homeworld. Our existence and the Saints being unwilling to bow to authority is a disruption to their status quo and that causes groups to rise up to wipe us out. It’s like playing a game of ‘princess of the hill’ except the only way the game ends is if you dominate everyone else or you get killed. And I have no intention of dying.”

“So it’s us against the world,” Moondancer concluded. “How do all of you keep going when faced with such odds?”

“When the risk is high the least you can do is enjoy the ride. If we fail and die, I’ll at least be glad that I had fun the whole time.”

Moondancer realized that Vinyl had a point. The DJ mare was living life to the fullest even when stuck in a kill or be killed situation. Pinkamena was also that way, in her own way. After a few minutes of thinking over Vinyl’s words and some self reflection where she asked herself if she was regretting how her life was being lived. The truth made her realize that she had been wasting her life for too long.

Coming up on the next group of Deckers capturing a group of Kinzie’s contacts, Vinyl was about to use her telekinetically held guns to shoot the Deckers but Moondancer reacted faster as she lit her horn and discharged a lethal bolt of electricity that arced from one Decker to another and electrocuted them, missing the contacts in the process.

“Whoa, how’d you do that and miss the contacts?” Vinyl asked.

“It’s easier when the targets have something in common and their fashion makes it easier to focus on my targets.”

The next group of contacts were being driven away by a limo. Vinyl had Moondancer control the wheel with her magic while the DJ pulled out her vehicle controller and forced the limo to a halt. The drivers and passengers exited the vehicle when it could go no further. The Decker driver was run over and finished off when Moondancer set him on fire with her magic.

The rest of the activity was spent in merriment.

After fully taking over Ashwood and Salander, the Equestrian Saints returned to the new HQ to discuss their next move.

On the way back to the HQ, Pinkamena received a call from Johnny. He informed her that some big shot Hollywood director had requested the two of them to co-star in the upcoming film, “Gangstas in Space.” Pinkamena was hesitant to go along with this since acting a part that someone else assigned her was not her strong suit. But in the end she decided to do it anyway and if the director didn’t like her acting then she could shove one of his cameras down his throat.

In the studio dressing room, Johnny and Pinkamena were going through the script while trying to get their lines down. They were approached by one of the actresses who was already in costume. Her skin was painted purple and her hair a darker purple and tied up in a long tube.

Her costume consisted of a gray choker, gray gloves that go past her elbows, and an outfit that matched the choker and gloves while leaving her cleavage and navel exposed.

The actress introduced herself as Jenny Jaros who played as the alien princess Kwilanna in the movie. She appeared excited to be working alongside the two of them.

It was then that the director of the movie, Andy Zhen barged into the room and scolded Jenny for harassing his prized actors. Pinkamena didn’t think the woman needed to be treated like that by the director but if he continued pushing her, the madmare was eager to see what would happen if Jenny snapped. If that happened, then the whole movie venture would have been worth the time spent.

The scene they were working on was a rescue scene where Johnny, playing as the heroic gangster, and Pinkamena, playing as his psychotic second in command, drove to the military base. “The government won’t escape with the alien. Not if I have anything to say about it,” Johnny quoted from the script.

“I’ll slice them all up if they try,” Pinkamena quoted. Neither were really feeling the script.

The two charged into the base guns blazing. Pinkamena giggled maniacally as she sliced up the guards in the base. If there was anything in the movie that would get her motivated, it would be the kills.

Johnny untied Kwilanna who said her line perfectly but Andy hated that and decided to redo the scene.

This time around there was some base jumping from a helicopter, plenty of explosions, a lot more guards, and some dramatic music for effect. Pinkamena put on her maniacal smile as she slashed through the guards in rapid succession, not even caring that she disemboweled a few cameramen.

Johnny untied Kwilanna again and the three entered the nearby helicopter to escape the base with the actress driving. Kwilanna introduced herself as per the script.

The helicopter suffered major damage and crashed outside the base. Everyone emerged from the wreckage relatively unharmed and the scene ended. Once again, Andy praised Johnny and Pinkamena and continued to insult Jenny.

The next scene involved a chase with Kwilanna driving a military Bulldog vehicle and a lot of attack helicopters and Bulldogs chasing them. When they got to a bridge, there was a military blockade preventing their escape when a pair of alien ships started attacking. The chase resumed except it was the ships pursuing them this time.

“Proof that this is a two bit movie: the director compensates with explosions and over the top action to hide how crappy it is,” Pinkamena quipped.

Andy informed them about the jump scene where they were supposed to drive the vehicle up a ramp and across a wide river. There was no way the vehicle was going to make that jump.

For that, Pinkie took over and forced Kwilanna into the back seat while she pulled off the impossible jump over the river.

“That was amazing! How did you pull that jump off?” Jenny asked.

“She’s Pinkie, it just happens,” Johnny responded. “Seriously though, you gotta stand up for yourself.”

“I’m not sure I can do that, even with how he’s treating me.”

“Andy’s a big meanie mean pants. You don’t need to take his meanness,” Pinkie said.

“If you say so.”

With the jump finished, Andy called the shoot finished for the day.

For the shooting on the next day, Johnny and Pinkamena were made to wear space suits. This time they were filming in the studio instead of on site. Pinkamena looked around at the props in the studio while Johnny had to explain some of the shows that they were used for, at least for the ones he heard about.

“I feel like I've gone beyond the fourth wall just by being in here,” Pinkamena commented.

“I’m pretty sure everyone feels that way in a studio,” Johnny countered.

“So what does the Michael Bay wannabe want with this scene?”

“We need to grab a laser pistol before we head on stage,” Jenny answered. “You need to escort me to some terminals so I can make them self-destruct.”

“I have a better idea.”

Once everyone grabbed a pistol, the trio emerged into the set and the filming began. The group made quick work of the space amazons and made their way to the first terminal.

As Kwilanna moved to tamper with the terminal, she dodged out of the way as a cybernetic-looking hobby horse was about to swing down and smash the terminal. “Jesus!” Kwilanna yelled.

“What are you doing! Do NOT break character Kwilanna! I’m docking your paycheck if you break character again.” Andy called out.

Pinkamena could tell that Jenny was getting frustrated with the director. She had trouble hiding the grin on her face as she imagined that it wouldn’t be too much longer before the actress snapped and lashed out at Andy. The best part was that she hardly had to do anything to get that to happen as the director was digging his own grave with each abusive insult.

For the second terminal, Johnny rigged the terminal to blow this time. It wasn’t as fast as Pinkamena’s method, but she was having fun killing amazons when he reached the terminal first.

Once they left the room, they were back on set and the action take ended. On the way to the next set, Johnny continued to make Jenny feel like she is the victim of Andy's abuse. Pinkamena was enjoying Johnny adding fuel to the flames.

The group each picked up an auto laser and headed into the next set. On cue, the cameras started rolling again.

The group fought their way to the next terminal and Kwilanna began tampering with it. Her rising temper and dwindling patience for Andy made her decide to improvise as she grabbed one of the amazons and hurled her into the terminal, triggering the self-destruct.

“Kwilanna! That was not in the script. Stick to the script,” Andy called out.

“That was awesome, Andy. We’re keepin’ that in.” Johnny said.

“Uh...right. Moving on to the next part.”

The next room involved finding some code to unlock some spaceships. Johnny and Kwilanna searched the terminals and found the code after the third set. Pinkamena butchered amazons while they searched three terminals.

“Typical rule of threes...”Pinkamena commented.

It was then that Andy decided to improvise and trigger a self-destruct for the room while locking the exit. The three rushed to the security room and let Kwilanna tamper with the terminal there.

After shooting up amazons like they were at a shooting gallery, Kwilanna opened the exit and the trio left the room before the blast. The cameras stopped rolling as the trio moved to the next set.

What Jenny saw on the way caused her temper to reach a boiling point as she saw a number of actresses dressed just like her, meaning they were to be her replacements. In her blind fury, Jenny blasted all of the replacements with her auto laser until none of them were moving.

“I’m starting to like this movie,” Pinkamena commented.

The trio went to the next set and picked up a laser cannon. Once the filming started, they realized that they weren’t going to get much use from it as Pinkamena pulled out her Vorpal Blade that, for the sake of the movie, was remade as a laser knife. Pinkamena turned the hangar scene into a bloodbath as she sliced her way through a large number of space amazons as well as what looked like a female brute dressed as a space amazon.

“Now I know what Oleg would look like as a girl,” Pinkamena commented.

“Yeah, coulda gone my whole life without knowin’ that.” Johnny added.

The trio made their way to the hangar’s control center and disabled the force fields around the nearby spaceship before they boarded the ship and lifted off, ending the shooting for the day.

Andy insulted Jenny’s acting one last time before the shooting ended.

The last scene was filmed the next day. This scene involved flying around in the spaceship the trio had taken from the hangar yesterday. The objective was to disable a bunch of force fields and upload a virus that would take out all of the aliens. Johnny and Kwilanna piloted the ship while Pinkamena handled the weapons.

While they were flying to the first location, Jenny vocally wished she were more confident like Johnny was.

“You already have what it takes to stand up to Andy,” Pinkamena responded. “If you can gun down a bunch of replacements in cold blood, you can kill Andy if he pushes you too far.”

“At the rate things are going, I just might,” Jenny growled darkly.

Pinkamena reached into her mane and pressed a button on a device. The sound of popping could be heard.

“What is that?” Johnny asked.

“I’ll tell you soon,” Pinkamena responded.

The trio focused on dodging fire and blowing ships and helicopters from the Steelport military while uploading the virus. While they were doing that, Andy demanded flying stunts such as near misses and barnstorms. All the while, Andy continued insulting Jenny’s acting.

Andy’s madness showed itself when they realized that real people were piloting the vehicles that were being shot down. When the virus uploaded, the ship started malfunctioning and Andy demanded another stunt. Meanwhile there were more pursuers and Andy demanded more drama. Johnny drove the ship out of range of the virus and to safety.

With that, it was time for the ending scene.

“The Earth is safe...for now,” Johnny quoted.

“Stupid motherfucking, stupid ass…” Jenny grumbled.

“Uhm...Kwilanna?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING UP THERE? JENNY, SAY YOUR GODDAMN LINE!” Andy screamed.

That did it. Jenny was officially seeing red as she declared her intent to kill Andy who only made things worse for himself as he continued criticizing her.

“Here.” Pinkamena handed Johnny a bag of popcorn. “You might wanna buckle up.” Johnny did so as Jenny started flying the ship at top speed toward Andy’s location. The director had no idea what Jenny was planning until it was too late as she crashed the ship into the road and impaled Andy on the nose of the ship, killing him.

Jenny was breathing heavily from her episode. While she calmed down, Pinkamena offered Jenny a bag of popcorn. The actress took the bag and enjoyed every bite. After what she went through, she deserved a reward.

“Guess that’s a wrap,” Johnny quipped.