Murder Time, Fun Time

Pinkamena watched everything that transpired while Moondancer’s subconscious was projected into cyberspace from Kinzie’s computer. She was actually impressed with the nerdy mare’s ability to manipulate data to her will. She had to admit that if she went in there, she would have needed all the help she could get from Kinzie if she wanted to defeat Matt Miller. In the end, letting Moondancer handle Matt Miller on his own playing field turned out to be the right decision.

And she got to see an impressive performance from the unicorn.

As Moondancer’s consciousness returned and the NEMO chair deactivated. Pinkamena approached her and waited for her to regain her wits.

After shaking her head a few times and some breathing exercises, Moondancer seemed cognizant of her surroundings again. “So, how do you feel?” Pinkamena asked.

Moondancer took a moment to think up an appropriate response, “I feel like I just came down from this amazing feeling of being so powerful.”

“That was an interesting look you chose for your avatar. Trying to emulate Celestia in stature and beauty?” Pinkamena teased.

Moondancer’s face turned a deep shade of red, her fur doing nothing to hide it. “Thats…”

Pinkamena continued, “Well, your appearance doesn’t matter in the end. I was more impressed with the curb stomping you delivered to Matt Miller. You answered each of his attacks with ease and instilled terror upon him. I couldn’t be more proud.”

Moondancer’s face turned crimson and she could almost swear that she heard whistling coming from her ears as if her head had become a heated tea kettle. “I...thats...but...uh…”

Noticing that the mare had completely lost her composure, Pinkamena clopped her hooves together an inch from Moondancer’s muzzle. The sudden action jolted the unicorn from her scattered thoughts. “Huh? What?”

“Seriously though, how did you manipulate digital information like that?”

Seeing a chance to talk about something she was more comfortable with, Moondancer quickly explained, “Well, Kinzie told me that data in computers was simply bits of information in an electronic form. In my studies, I learned some spells that allowed me to absorb or release information from my mind. I also reworked a memory alteration spell to alter information in my mind. These spells were never tested in the digital universe so I was taking a big risk. As I learned that the spells worked differently in the digital universe, I grew more confident that I could manipulate data at will. The biggest risk I made was when I was facing Matt Miller’s avatar. I had no idea what drawing in so much data would do to me, though I never expected my own avatar to turn into my dream self.”

“You certainly dream big in that case.” Pinkamena’s smirk widened. “Still, given what I saw on that computer Kinzie lent you earlier, I could tell you enjoyed every moment of it.”

“Please don’t tell anyone what you saw…”

“You act like you’re the only closet case in Equestria and this world. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” Pinkamena also performed the Pinkie Promise ritual to seal the deal. Pinkie did the same thing since she also saw Moondancer’s secret. “Maybe after we deal with Killbane and STAG, we can pay a visit to Safeword and help you with your confidence.” Moondancer nodded.

The moment between the two mares ended when Pinkie had a message for her sister, “Hey Mena, my Pinkie Sense is going off and it’s telling me that something weird is going to happen soon and it’s going to take place on Arapice Island.”

“Weird enough that we need to make claiming that neighborhood top priority before it happens?”

“Yuppers.”

Arapice Island was a small neighborhood in Steelport. According to Gilda’s scouting report, the island, while under control of the Luchadores, was not a place the gang of wrestlers would visit often. The island had little to offer but there were a number of destructible targets there that Angel wanted destroyed as part of his plan to weaken the Luchadores hold on Carver Island.

Since she needed to take care of Arapice Island quickly, she had Gilda search the island for any collectibles while having Moondancer act as her proxy to buy the Rim Jobs and Harano’s Hookup House on the island. Pinkamena put the coordinates to the two locations on her phone. Meanwhile, Pinkamena went on one of her rampages throughout Carver Island.

After she finished her rampage, pausing a moment when she had to deal with another fan with a camera, she got back together with her friends, one of whom seemed a little distressed.

“What happened, Treehugger?’ Pinkamena asked.

“One of those people from STAG tried to foalnap me. Thankfully I kept Loa Dust in my mane in case I needed a boost. I headbutted one of them and gave them a faceful of Dust and I escaped.”

“So STAG is making their move, huh?”

Pinkamena’s phone rang before the conversation progressed further. Playa was on the other line. “Mena, STAG just kidnapped Shaundi. Pierce, Viola and I are going to get into their aircraft carrier in disguise. If you want in on the fun, come see me at the Image as Designed in Rosen Oaks and we can tear the ship apart together.”

Pinkamena considered the offer for a moment. It was risky but it also promised to be fun and she could use the chance to terrorize STAG on their own ship. “I’ll be right there.”

Her friend’s were concerned for her safety since she would be on a ship filled with soldiers in high tech armor and carrying high tech arms. The madmare assured them that she had been in this kind of situation before, thinking back to when she terrorized the Carnales on a ship.

Before she went to meet with Playa, Gilda had to report that she only found one money pallet on Arapice Island and expanded her search somewhat and found another crate of Pierce’s sex dolls on a small island that was not marked as part of Luchador territory.

“This is the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Pierce complained.

“We can’t go marching onto STAG’s aircraft carrier,” Viola added.

“Why not? I’ll look just like Cyrus, all I need is a fucked up attitude,” Playa responded.

“Because on top of being the worst driver in the city, you’re also the worst actor. I know this because I had to listen to your shitty acting the whole time we were filming that trainwreck of a movie,” Pinkamena shot.

“Hey! Andy loved my acting.”

“A desperate director who got stuck with filming a tragedy that ended up being his. He had no idea what the meaning of karmic retribution was until it crashed into him and left him as a kabob. That only told me that he was a total idiot so you get no points in your favor there.”

“Whatever, bag on my acting all you want but this plan’s still happening.” Playa walked into the surgery room at the call of the nurse.

Playa emerged later looking just like Cyrus Temple. After a visit to a local cosplay store, he was also wearing Temple’s armor. Using some handcuffs from the store, he placed them on Pierce’s and Viola’s wrists and on Pinkamena’s hooves. The madmare knew she could break them at any time and so did everyone else.

With the look as convincing as possible, Playa took a STAG van and drove to a STAG base and flew a Condor VTOL to the Thermopylae. What really surprised Pinkamena was that despite Playa’s bad acting, the other members of STAG bought the act.

“His acting is worse than Celestia’s and they bought it? Are they really that stupid?!” Pinkamena thought.

While Playa was escorted to the R&D section of the ship, Pierce, Viola and Pinkamena were escorted to the holding cells. While the cell doors holding them looked of strong glass, she figured she could still break them. For now, all she needed to do was wait until Playa blew his cover before the fun began.

It hardly took a few minutes of time in her cell before the alarms went off and Temple’s lieutenant, Kia, announced that “Temple” was a Saint in disguise. Donning her cheshire smile, Pinkamena pulled out her knightmare from her mane and smashed the door, shattering the glass. The guards were alerted to the escape attempt and ran to her cell. The next thing they knew, they were looking at their own lower halves as their upper halves were crawling on the floor with their blood spilling from both halves.

Pinkamena went to the cells that were holding Pierce, Viola and Shaundi and smashed the doors, setting the Saints free and leaving them checking their person for any glass that might have gotten on them.

Pinkamena had the others regroup with Playa while informing Shaundi of his disguise. When asked what she was going to do, they immediately regretted it as they knew what the madmare did when in enemy territory.

The other Saint’s found Playa midway between the cells and the R&D section. While figuring what to do next, the lights went out and the auxiliary lighting activated. The lighting was dim and would set the stage for the psychotic mare’s next rampage.

The Saints noticed the STAG soldiers screaming as they were ambushed and butchered, spilling blood all over the place. Laughter rang throughout the ship.

“I knew she was ruthless when in the mood but even the intel the Syndicate had on her didn’t prepare me for this,” Viola commented.

“Yeah, this is kinda what happened to those hooker assassins you sent at us when we had that party,” Shaundi added.

Viola remained silent as she came to the realization about what she subjected those poor assassins to.

Since they came to rescue Shaundi and send STAG a message, Playa led the Saints to the ship’s reactor control room. The place was already a bloody mess when they got there so all they had to do was shoot up the control console and get to the hangar and hijack a VTOL. While most of them blew up, they managed to find one that didn’t and flew the vehicle off the ship.

Somehow, Pinkamena appeared with them as they escaped the ship with a satisfied look on her face.

Playa landed the VTOL near where the ship was and let the Saints admire their handiwork. “This one’s going in the book.”

“We might’ve overdone it,” Pierce said.

“Now we can focus on Killbane,” Viola added.

“What about STAG?” Shaundi asked.

“We just blew up an aircraft carrier...what else could they throw at us?”

Pinkamena gave Pierce a deadpan stare for what he said.

12 hours later…

Pierce facepalmed and groaned while Pinkamena was lying on her back laughing helplessly while kicking her hooves in the air.

Murphy was just as amused as she was.

As a result of the destruction of the Thermopylae, STAG declared martial law on the city and brought the majority of their forces to occupy the city.

Pierce glowered at the laughing mare, “You make it seem like this is my fault.”

Pinkamena laughed for several minutes before she finally got herself under control. “You’re the one who invoked Murphy’s Law. So if the horseshoe fits, or in your case, shoe...”

“Whatever.” Pierce walked away in a huff before mumbling, “It wasn’t that funny…”

Some time after STAG declared martial law on the city, Kinzie called Playa and Pinkamena about a STAG cargo plane that was delivering weapons and equipment for the army. Playa intended to hijack it but needed a means to fly up to it. Kinzie suggested calling Viola and have her get the Syndicate private jet ready for them to fly up to it.

A short time later, Playa, Pinkamena and Viola were flying above the STAG cargo plane. The cargo door was opened and the Saints leader and pony leader were preparing to make the jump. Knowing that the whole stunt would require a level of stupidity that she was not willing to show, Pinkamena was more than happy to let Pinkie take the lead for this mission.

“There’s probably an easier way to do this!” Viola shouted over the screaming wind blowing into the cargo hold.

“No doubt!” Playa replied.

With that, Playa and Pinkie jumped off the plane. While they were aiming for the cockpit, Playa missed his mark and was forced to grab on to the hatch atop the plane and enter the plane from there. Pinkie figured that she would miss the mark too at the rate she was going so she pulled out her grappling gun and fired it into the cockpit. The shot broke through the glass and grabbed onto something, only for it to pull out one of the pilots, the grapple having impaled his chest.

Pinkie bit her lip in guilt as she knew that she just killed someone, even if it was by accident.

Pinkamena grunted from within Pinkie before she took over again and fired the grapple into the cockpit again. This time she hit something that wasn’t a pilot and was able to pull herself into the plane.

Once inside, the copilot yelped in surprise before Pinkamena pulled out a pistol and shot him in the head. She was not in the mood to be dealing with him.

Switching back to Pinkie, the party mare took control of the plane and started setting it on a course for somewhere the Saints had control.

Her Pinkie Sense went off in a way that told her that she needed to get out of the cockpit immediately and the cabin door wasn’t an option. So with no other options left, Pinkie jumped out of the cockpit window mere moments before the cockpit exploded. Pinkie caught a glimpse of Playa next to the smoldering ruins of the control room of the plane. Pinkamena set a thought aside that she would get Playa back for that.

For now, she had to deal with STAG soldiers falling from the plane with her. Using her grapple gun, she pulled a soldier to her and stole the weapon he was holding while using the soldier as a meat shield. After dealing with the troops, she looked around for something to help with the fall.

Seeing the STAG plane explode made Pinkamena shake her head in disappointment at the Saints leader for botching the whole operation because of his decisions.

The madmare noticed Playa climbing into a tank before looking down to notice that the ground was coming up fast. She grappled onto the tank and climbed in after Playa.

A few minutes passed before the expected impact caused the passengers in the tank to jump up and hit the ceiling of the cramped compartment.

Pinkamena only grunted in disappointment at Playa as she attempted to start the tank. Playa opened the hatch to see what was happening around them and discovered a number of canisters on the ground and STAG bodies raining down in the area. The impact caused by some of the bodies also ruptured the canisters and released an eerie green gas. Another minute of observation revealed that the STAG troops and the civilians of the area were coming back to life and started shambling toward the tank.

“Mena…?” Pinkie asked worriedly.

“Don’t say it. Let’s just get out of here before I consider tossing Playa out of the tank and leaving him to deal with the horseapples he caused.”

Nothing else was said as the tank left the danger zone and back to the hideout.

While Playa didn’t want to say what happened over Arapice Island, Pinkamena was more than happy to tell everyone how Playa blew up the plane, and caused canisters of zombie gas to be unleashed upon the island.

“Zombie gas? Never heard of it.” Oleg said.

“Whatever, it’s STAG’s problem now,” Playa grumbled.

“I thought the whole ‘bring the dead back to life’ only happened in movies,” Shaundi said.

“Maybe if he weren’t so reckless, we wouldn’t have had to test that concept,” Viola snapped.

It was then that Viola received a call from someone. “Yes?...Right...I see...Alright, we’ll be there immediately.” Viola ended her call before addressing the Saints. “The mayor just called, he wants to meet with Playa and Pinkamena right away?”

“What does the mayor want with me?” Playa asked.

“Just come with me to his office, he’ll explain everything when we get there.”

Oleg, Playa and Pinkamena accompanied Viola to the mayor’s office. Once inside the building, Viola stopped everyone from going into the office for a moment.

“What are we waiting for?” Playa asked.

“We’re not walking in there until you promise to play nice. I can trust Pinkamena to behave herself since the mayor’s not hostile toward us.”

“You make it sound like I’m a child who needs to be told by mommy to behave.” Playa received silent judgemental stares from everyone. “Fuck you guys.” Playa opened the doors into the mayor’s office and barged inside. “I don’t need someone holding my hand when I’m dealing with government officials.”

The mayor noticed the commotion and turned around to reveal to everyone an elderly man in a white stetson with a large breasted prostitute in a police costume that barely fit her. “Viola, is this the kid and pony you were talking about?”

Playa was immediately starstruck, he was looking at one of his favorite celebrities. “Burt-fucking-Reynolds?!”

“Who else could keep this town running? Besides, I love my constituents.”

“Sir, I am a huge fan.”

Burt let his pleasure for the day off his lap as he got to business. “Viola says the Saints are the new game in town. If that’s the case, I want in.”

“Uh, yeah, great! What do you need?”

“I got a zombie problem that I want taken care of.”

“I take it STAG is trying to sweep the problem under the rug? Figures since they were the ones who manufactured the gas.” Pinkamena said.

“Since the rising sensation, Professor Pinkamena, is with you, I’m confident the situation will be handled quickly.”

“Any restrictions?”

“Don’t level Arapice, I don’t give a fuck otherwise.”

“I’m liking you already.”

On the way out of the office, Playa practically squealed in excitement over seeing his idol while Viola complained about Playa being such a fanboy.

Pinkamena called her crew to Arapice Island to help deal with the zombies. While Playa and Viola wore masks, Moondancer placed a bubble spell on her friends’ heads that filtered the contaminated air on the island.

“Why don’t you use the spell on us?” Playa asked.

“Because you opted for the masks,” Pinkamena responded.

For the weapons the Equestrians chose for this task, Pinkamena would stick with her knife and explosives. With her speed, the zombies would not be able to keep up. Gilda stuck to her usual weapons since RPGs were effective against crowds. Treehugger made sure she had plenty of fuel to burn. Octavia had to use a grenade launcher and a shotgun because her sniper rifle was too inefficient in this case. Vinyl managed to engineer a copy of the sonic boom gun that Playa stole from the STAG plane and improved upon it to increase its range without reducing effectiveness. She had more ideas for the weapon but didn’t have time to make any more improvements. Finally, Moondancer had plenty of offensive and defensive spells in her arsenal to deal with the dead.

Together, the Equestrians had no problems dealing with the zombies and the canisters that were spreading the plague.

Oleg offered an idea of using zombies as a weapon for the Saints by obtaining a sample of the gas but Pinkamena was against it for the reason that Pinkie was especially uncomfortable around zombies. With the decision made, Playa drove the last of the gas canisters into the water.

Playa informed Burt that the virus was neutralized and while the zombies were still an issue, their numbers would remain finite. Burt thanked them for their work and offered up the services of the city SWAT teams as well as himself for the Saints. Playa eagerly accepted the mayor’s offer.

With STAG humiliated due to the fact that a street gang handled something they couldn’t, the Saints now had more time to finish off Killbane and the Luchadores.