A Carrot for Miss Fluttershyby Bad HorseChaptersAct II: In which too much importance is attached to a carrotAct III: For carrots!Act I: In which it ain't fairAct II: In which too much importance is attached to a carrotINTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY APPLE BLOOM Morning, Applejack. I'm gonna go find Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. APPLEJACK Why're you always playing with them two? Why ain’t you got no earth pony friends? APPLE BLOOM (sadly) I guess you're right. They're probably tired of me. EXTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY Apple Bloom walks out of the house. Big MacIntosh is outside, sniffing the ground. BIG MACINTOSH Ground's dry. APPLE BLOOM That's nice. BIG MACINTOSH No it ain't. It was supposed to rain last night. APPLE BLOOM That's nice. (beat) If you see Scootaloo an' Sweetie Belle - tell 'em - tell 'em they can play with somepony else today. I won't mind. Apple Bloom walks O.S, still in a funk. Big MacIntosh watches her go, then heads off in the opposite direction. EXT. ROAD TO PONYVILLE - DAY Big MacIntosh walks down the road towards Ponyville. Scootaloo scoots in the other direction, pulling Sweetie Belle along in her wagon. SCOOTALOO (halting) Big MacIntosh! Where's Apple Bloom? BIG MACINTOSH She said you can play with somepony else today. SWEETIE BELLE Not her too! SCOOTALOO It's still okay if we hang out with you, right? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. Scootaloo turns the wagon around. All three head for town. EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE - DAY Big MacIntosh knocks on the door with one hoof. ANGEL rushes into the frame and attacks Big Mac, kicking Mac's hooves with his hindfeet and then biting them. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle retreat from the door. BIG MACINTOSH That tickles! FLUTTERSHY (O.S., BEHIND DOOR) Please... I don't want to upset anypony. I can't help having wings. BIG MACINTOSH But Miss Fluttershy. Your wings are right purty. Scootaloo mimes gagging. Fluttershy opens the top half of the door. FLUTTERSHY Big MacIntosh! BIG MACINTOSH Miss Fluttershy, I wondered if you could round up some rain for our apple trees. The regular rainponies forgot. FLUTTERSHY I've never done that... but I'll try. Angel, be nice. (to Big MacIntosh) He's upset because I couldn't get him his carrot today. (beat) Something's changed. A lot of ponies are angry. BIG MACINTOSH About there bein' no carrots? FLUTTERSHY Oh, there were plenty of carrots. They wouldn't sell me any. BIG MACINTOSH (beat) Who wouldn't sell you a carrot? FLUTTERSHY Hay Seed. BIG MACINTOSH (stamps one hindleg) I'll get you your carrot, Miss Fluttershy. FLUTTERSHY Oh... you don't have to do that. Angel jumps up on the door ledge and glares at her. FLUTTERSHY (CONT'D) I mean, thank you. Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle exit. EXT. HAY SEED'S - DAY Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle approach a vegetable stand that appears to have been hastily barricaded. Big MacIntosh knocks on a piece of fence that is serving as a door. HAY SEED (O.S., BEHIND DOOR) What's the password? BIG MACINTOSH Password for what? HAY SEED Password so I know you ain't one-a them flyin' or magicin' ponies! BIG MACINTOSH (snorts once) (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle) You kids go across the street. SCOOTALOO (turning and walking away) (to Sweetie) He's ashamed of us! BIG MACINTOSH (to the door) Stand back. HAY SEED That ain't the pass... In one fluid movement, Big MacIntosh spins around, plants his forelegs where his hindlegs were a moment ago, and smashes the barricade into fragments with one kick, revealing a startled Hay Seed and racks of vegetables. HAY SEED (CONT'D) What'd you do that for?! BIG MACINTOSH Didn't know the password. HAY SEED What d'ya want? BIG MACINTOSH A carrot for Miss Fluttershy. HAY SEED Oh? Well, I'm all outta carrots! BIG MACINTOSH What are those? HAY SEED Them carrots is been sold! Hay Seed and Big Mac glare at each other. Big Mac turns and leaves. TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH, SCOOTALOO, SWEETIE BELLE SCOOTALOO That was cool! BIG MACINTOSH If I'd kept cool, I'd have Miss Fluttershy's carrot. SWEETIE BELLE The Cakes make carrot cake. Maybe they have carrots! EXT. SUGARCUBE CORNER - DAY MR. and MRS. CAKE, with POUND CAKE & PUMPKIN CAKE in a stroller, are outside the bakery. Luggage sits in the street next to them. The bakery door has a CLOSED sign. MR. CAKE I'm sorry, Pinkie. Ponyville's not safe for our little Cakes anymore. MRS. CAKE I heard somepony said that pegasi eat earth ponies. MR. CAKE I heard somepony said unicorns help them do it. PINKIE PIE I'm sure that pony didn't mean cute baby ponies! MR. CAKE You can't reason with people like that, Pinkie. Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle walk up. SWEETIE BELLE Mr. & Mrs. Cake! Have you got any carrots? MR. CAKE I'm sorry, kids. I'm all out. Pinkie follows the Cakes offstage, still pleading. TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH - PONYVILLE, MAIN ST. Big MacIntosh takes a few steps down the street, then stops, realizing he doesn't know where he's going. BIG MACINTOSH I can't go back without a carrot. Big MacIntosh sits down in the middle of the street. SCOOTALOO You're attaching way too much importance to this carrot. SWEETIE BELLE Scootaloo! Sometimes you're as thick as... DERPY HOOVES hurries on-stage, pursued by a COLT and a FILLY. FILLY AND COLT Derpy derpy derpy! Big M. gives the colt and filly one look and they hurry off. SCOOTALOO Were they teasing you because you're a pegasus? DERPY Naw. (her ears flick down) They always do that. (to Big MacIntosh) Why're you sitting in the street? SWEETIE BELLE He's mad because Farmer Seed won't sell him a carrot for Fluttershy because she's a pegasus! Scootaloo pushes with her helmet against Big Mac's side, trying and failing to budge him. SWEETIE BELLE (CONT'D) It's so romantic! DERPY You're just gonna sit there? BIG MACINTOSH A pony can sit. DERPY Because Hay Seed won't sell carrots to pegasus ponies? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. DERPY (beat) Will that help? BIG MACINTOSH Nope. After a long pause, Derpy sits down beside Big MacIntosh. BIG MACINTOSH (CONT'D) Go home, Derpy. DERPY A pony can sit. Fluttershy flies on-stage, dripping wet, eyes darting about anxiously. FLUTTERSHY Big MacIntosh! I was worried... BIG MACINTOSH I didn't get your carrot, Miss Fluttershy. An EARTH PONY WORKER pulling a wagon of hay enters. WORKER Hey! Get outta the way! FLUTTERSHY I'm so sorry, we were just -- BIG MACINTOSH Nope. DERPY Nope. WORKER (to Big MacIntosh) What are you doin' with these ponies anyway? You ashamed of your own kind? His words shock and frighten Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They huddle close to Big MacIntosh and sit down as well. BIG MACINTOSH You go home, Miss Fluttershy. All of you, go home. DERPY Nope. SCOOTALOO Nope. SWEETIE BELLE Nope. FLUTTERSHY N... no. INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight puts a few more books into a pair of saddlebags she has on. Spike carries a suitcase. TWILIGHT It's just until things calm down. SPIKE How will they calm down if all the calm people leave? TWILIGHT I'm irritating them just by my presence, Spike. SPIKE How is that new? Twilight and Spike exit out the front door. EXT. LIBRARY - DAY TWILIGHT Let's stop by and check on the others on our way. SPIKE I think we can skip Sweet Apple Acres. TWILIGHT It is pretty far out of the way... You think Pinkie is at Sugarcube Corner? Walking towards the center of town, Twilight and Spike stumble into a surreal scene outside Sugarcube Corner: Ponies of all kinds sit in the street, blocking it. Angry ponies on both ends of the street are shouting at them, including the sign-carriers. Act III: For carrots!EXTERIOR PONYVILLE - CENTER OF TOWN - DAY Applejack is among the crowd of townsponies. Rainbow Dash can be seen flying circles up above. Rarity, ARNIE, and HEARTSTRINGS are among those sitting. Spike rushes towards Rarity. Twilight follows. TWILIGHT Rarity! What's going on? RARITY I'm not sure. Something about carrots. SPIKE You're getting all dusty! RARITY We all must make sacrifices sometimes. SPIKE For carrots? RARITY For carrots. PINKIE PIE (popping up before Rarity) And babies! TWILIGHT Can't you see the townsponies are angry? Whatever you're doing is only making it worse! RARITY My heart bleeds for them. PINKIE PIE (popping up farther away) It's a sitting party! We're going to sit still until we all get carrots and the Cakes bring the babies back and make cupcakes! (pops up somewhere else) Oh, I'm no good at this at all! Some TOWNSPONIES notice Twilight. TOWNSPONY #1 There's that mare from Canterlot! She must be behind this! Twilight and Rarity both turn to see who's talking. TOWNSPONY #2 Look out for her horn! Twilight backs up, alarmed, as a cluster of ponies approach and then corner her. Her eyes and horn begin to glow white. RARITY Twilight Sparkle! Sit down! Twilight sits down with a THUMP. The glow fades. The MAYOR enters the scene, and heads straight for Twilight, who is sitting prominently at the edge of the sitting ponies. MAYOR Miss Sparkle... What is the meaning of this? TWILIGHT (dazed) Carrots. RARITY Carrots. MAYOR Can anypony tell me what's going on here? Hardly anyone can hear her above the noise of the crowd. APPLEJACK (stepping forward) Lemme give you a hand, Mayor. SOOOO-EEEEE! The crowd hushes at Applejack's hog-call. A few HOGS rush in and join the crowd at its edges. MAYOR Thank you. Now... Everypony sit down. Everyone except the mayor eventually sits. Rainbow Dash sits on a roof. TOWNSPONY #2 (O.S.) It is kinda calming. MAYOR Somepony tell me what's going on! SOMEPONY #1 Arnie was here when I got here. ARNIE I saw Heartstrings here, sitting in front of some big angry ponies, What was I gonna do, trot by and admit she's got more guts than me? HEARTSTRINGS Someponies were making me feel unwelcome here. And I wanted to go home and hide. Big MacIntosh was just sitting there, not budging. And I thought: I can do that too. Because Ponyville is my home. Silence. HOG #1 So... no slop? MAYOR Big MacIntosh? BIG MACINTOSH Yup? MAYOR Why did you sit down? BIG MACINTOSH I was angry. RAINBOW DASH That makes no sense at all! BIG MACINTOSH You can't kick when you're sitting. Some of the townsponies edge back a little. MAYOR What were you so angry about? BIG MACINTOSH Nopony would sell Miss Fluttershy a carrot, because she's a pegasus. MAYOR That's absurd. HAY SEED (stepping forward) Tain't neither. MAYOR What? HAY SEED I been farming nigh on forty years. I ain't never flown nor done nothin' magical. But I worked hard, and I won't stand to be looked down on because of it. (glares at Rainbow Dash) I heard what some-a them pegasuses said. MAYOR Mister Seed, you must be mistaken. I'm sure nopony in this town would cast aspersions on earth ponies. RAINBOW DASH Well... I said some things that, taken out of context, could be interpreted that way. I mean, taken out of the context of my personal awesomeness. But I don't look down on you! Except literally. TWILIGHT And I said... I said that I didn't know how ponies could stand not having magic. The crowd GASPS. TWILIGHT (CONT'D) But that's because it's part of who I am! It's like if Rarity said she didn't understand how people could stand not having fashion sense. Or if Pinkie Pie said she didn't understand how somepony could not eat cupcakes every day! PINKIE PIE That's true! I don't! TWILIGHT I didn't mean to insult anypony. Mister Seed, I respect your hard work. There wouldn't even be a Ponyville if you didn't know how to make things grow. I don't know how to do that. I couldn't even keep my flowers alive without Spike. SPIKE Must be my purple thumb. RAINBOW DASH I wasn't trying to put anybody else down. I was trying to put me up. MAYOR You need to learn how to do one without the other, Rainbow Dash. RAINBOW DASH What am I supposed to do? Stop being awesome? TWILIGHT No, Rainbow! Just... appreciate other people's awesomeness sometimes. Like the awesome cupcakes that Mr. and Mrs. Cake make. Or the Apple family's awesome apple cider that you can't get enough of. RAINBOW DASH (frowning at Pinkie) It's true. I can't. But... your apple cider is pretty awesome, Applejack. FLUTTERSHY And, Mister Seed, Angel loves your carrots better than anything else in the world. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get them anymore. SPIKE (to Hay Seed) Think of the bunnies! Applejack shakes her head in alarm at Spike. Hay Seed contemplates this, chewing his wisp of straw, staring at Fluttershy. He stands up. HAY SEED I can't stand bunnies! All the other townsponies stand up again. All the ponies that were originally sitting stand up. HAY SEED (CONT'D) Them critters is always diggin' up my carrots! The groups face off. The CROWD NOISE resumes, louder than before. Suddenly, a CRY stills the noise of the crowd. Everyone looks around for the source. A LITTLE EARTH FILLY, who had gone to the highest balcony of town hall to watch the crowd, is hanging on by two hooves beneath a broken railing. TOWNSPONY #3 My filly! Dramatic BALALAIKA MUSIC plays as the two groups merge into one as a group of earth ponies and unicorns together rushes to the town hall and begin building a pony pyramid under the dangling filly. Several of the unicorns resemble the Russians in the original scene in The Russians are Coming! When the pyramid is halfway there, Rainbow Dash zooms by above them and snatches the filly. Her wake blows the pyramid over, and those ponies collapse on top of each other in a heap to the sounds of balalaika strings SNAPPING. Rainbow Dash sets the filly down next to Townspony #3. MAYOR You see, everypony - you never know when you'll need somepony else. We can only get by if we all cooperate! RAINBOW DASH Cooperate? Twilight and the Mayor glare daggers at Rainbow. RAINBOW DASH (CONT'D) I mean, that pyramid thing you guys did - that was looking good. HAY SEED I mighta been a bit rash. Yer not such a bad fella, in a pinch. Remind me a little of myself, when I was a colt. RAINBOW DASH I'm not a... (breaks off as the Mayor surreptitiously kicks her) HAY SEED I might have some carrots left after all. Maybe there's some filly you'd like to share some with, eh? RAINBOW DASH I'm not a... Fine. Thanks. I would love some carrots. The picketers drop their signs sheepishly. Everypony CHEERS. EXT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Big MacIntosh, and the Crusaders are together outside the tree, Spike with scroll and quill in hand. TWILIGHT I think we all could write a letter to the Princess this time. APPLE BLOOM Can I write the letter? TWILIGHT Go ahead, Apple Bloom! APPLE BLOOM Dear Princess Celestia. How're you? I'm fine. Do you like apples? I like apples. That's a good thing, what with all the apples we got. Spike stops writing. APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D) And also cupcakes. Mr. and Mrs. Cake make the best cupcakes... SPIKE Ahem. APPLE BLOOM Sorry. This week I learned that if you think your friends don't like you, you should talk to them about it, instead of other people. PINKIE PIE I learned that too! APPLE BLOOM Also, you shouldn't get all worked up about whether things are fair when things are still pretty fine. PINKIE PIE No fair! I didn't learn that! TWILIGHT I learned that I should think before I talk about other people. BIG MACINTOSH I learned that if you're angry, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. FLUTTERSHY And I learned that sometimes, you should say no. Even if it's scary. SPIKE Enough learning! My wrists are tired. BIG MACINTOSH Miss Fluttershy, if you ever need help saying nope, I hope you'll call on me. FLUTTERSHY Oh! How could I say no to that? APPLEJACK (to Fluttershy) Sister, you and me are gonna have a little talk. (walks offstage) FLUTTERSHY (following AJ offstage) Okay. Rainbow Dash and Derpy fly by overhead, suspending Hay Seed between them in a sling. HAY SEED Wahoo! I'm flyin'! THE END Act I: In which it ain't fairAUTHOR'S NOTE: This is almost what a real My Little Pony script looks like. I made the dialogue margins narrower to make it easier to read, changed underlining to italics, and removed some of the oddball capitalization that's a hangover from live-action filming to make sure all necessary props make it to the set. Character capitalization on first introduction is also a hangover from live-action filming, to help actors identify their entrances. Scene headings do not indicate time of day because time of day can't be reliably communicated visually. "TRACKING SPIKE" means the camera tracks Spike as he moves. "ANGLE ON RARITY" means the camera angle changes to look at Rarity. "TIME CUT" indicates a discontinuity in time. "O.S." = off-stage. Camera directions, blocking, character expressions, and details of physical actions are seldom described, so that the director, actors, animators -- and now you, the reader -- may re-imagine them as they see fit. There is no Carrot Family Farm in canon, just ponies not named Carrot with carrot cutie marks (notably Golden Harvest), and pictures of an unidentified carrot farm behind Sweet Apple Acres. Hayseed was canon in mid-season 1 but was moved and renamed to become the royal gardener. INTERIOR LIBRARY - DAY APPLE BLOOM, SCOOTALOO, and SWEETIE BELLE shelve books, under the only semi-watchful eye of SPIKE, who is reclining on a pillow eating a muffin. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle work quickly, the one flying and the other magically levitating books, while Apple Bloom rears up on her hind legs, struggling to reach the third shelf. SPIKE (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle) Great work, guys. (to Apple Bloom) Apple Bloom! You'll never get your cutie mark at that rate. APPLE BLOOM But I can't reach! SPIKE Then use the ladder! Apple Bloom noses the sliding library ladder over to where she wants it to be, then eyes it dubiously. She picks up a book in her mouth and tries to climb it, but due to a lack of opposable thumbs, falls off and lands on her back just as TWILIGHT SPARKLE walks in the door. TWILIGHT What's going on here? SCOOTALOO Spike's giving us another chance to try for our librarying cutie marks! SPIKE Everypony deserves a second chance. Turns out all they needed was a little expert guidance. TWILIGHT Spike's letting you shelf books? APPLE BLOOM (STANDING UP) Well, he did after we gave him two muffins and one of Grannie's apple pies. TWILIGHT Spike. Give the girls their muffins. SPIKE (licking his lips) ... Too late. Anyway, I think they're doing a great job. Not as good as I could, of course. Hey, maybe they'll get cutie marks of me! How cool would that be? Scootaloo spits out the book she had in her mouth while Sweetie Belle lets one drop to the floor. All three fillies worriedly inspect their flanks. TWILIGHT Girls, thanks for your help. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk with Spike. Alone. APPLE BLOOM But what about our cutie marks? SCOOTALOO Come on, guys. Back to the clubhouse. The three fillies say their goodbyes and head for the door. SPIKE But there's so many more chores to do! TWILIGHT Then you'd better get started. SPIKE Aww. I was just trying to help. EXTERIOR CLUBHOUSE - DAY Scootaloo leaves her scooter on the ground and flies up to the walkway, then in through an open window. SB walks up the gangway and opens the door magically, which swings shut behind her. AB pulls the door open with her teeth, backing up as it opens, so she is trapped behind it on the walkway. She lets it go, then tries again, backing down the gangway, but loses her grip on the knob as she descends. Scootaloo pokes her head out, holding the door open. SCOOTALOO What's keeping you? APPLE BLOOM It's this stupid door. SCOOTALOO I know, right? That's why I use the window. APPLE BLOOM I can't use the window! SCOOTALOO Aw, come on, don't cry. Here. Scootaloo turns around and kicks the door off its hinges. It nearly hits Apple Bloom before falling offscreen. SCOOTALOO (CONT'D) Problem solved. APPLE BLOOM Y'almost hit me, Scoot! SCOOTALOO Put the hinges on the inside next time. Apple Bloom enters the clubhouse. INT. CLUBHOUSE SWEETIE BELLE We tried being time travellers, fashionistas, and librarians. APPLE BLOOM I couldn't do any of those things! SCOOTALOO None of us could. APPLE BLOOM I couldn't even pick up the needle and thread at the same time. SWEETIE BELLE Why don't you pick what we do next, Apple Bloom? APPLE BLOOM I know! It's apple-bucking season. Let's try that! SCOOTALOO Great idea! You're sure to get a cutie mark! EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY Apple Bloom, standing by a tree, kicks it repeatedly, each time shaking a few apples loose, which fall to the ground near a bucket. She gathers them one-by-one and puts them into the bucket until it is half-full. APPLE BLOOM It's all in the kick, girls. You'll get the... ANGLE ON - SWEETIE BELLE AND SCOOTALOO Sweetie Belle rapidly levitates apples directly off the tree and into her bucket; Scootaloo flies from branch to branch, plucking apples and tossing them directly into her bucket. Both buckets are overfull. ANGLE ON - APPLE BLOOM APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D) ... hang of it? INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE GRANNY SMITH is bringing plates of food to a table where BIG MACINTOSH and APPLEJACK are already waiting as Apple Bloom walks in, head downcast. APPLEJACK Why the long face, sis? APPLE BLOOM It's not fair! Scootaloo's learning to fly, and Sweetie Belle's learning magic, and I'm still just an earth pony. APPLEJACK 'Scuze me? Just an earth pony? You mean, like me an' Mac an' all your kin? APPLE BLOOM Well... You're not just an earth pony. You're the best athlete in Ponyville. APPLEJACK Only so's I can keep Rainbow Dash in line. APPLE BLOOM And Big MacIntosh is the biggest, strongest pony around these parts. BIG MACINTOSH Nope. There's a unicorn in Celestia's guard who's bigger. APPLE BLOOM He's bigger, and he's a unicorn? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. APPLE BLOOM That ain't fair! BIG MACINTOSH (thinks it over) Guess not. Granny Smith trots up behind Apple Bloom, reaches over her, and eats everything on her plate in one gulp. APPLE BLOOM Granny! You stole my lunch! GRANNY SMITH En I cooked it! So that's fair. Heh-heh-heh! APPLEJACK Listen, honey. I don't know nothin' 'bout fair. Do good work, be a good friend, live a good life. (teasingly) As long as they ain't better than you at apple bucking, you got nothing to worry about! Apple Bloom looks away shamefacedly. APPLEJACK (CONT'D) What - you ashamed of being a farmer? APPLE BLOOM No. APPLEJACK So first being an earth pony ain't good enough for you, now being a farmer ain't good enough for you? APPLE BLOOM No! It's just... I don't want talk about it. APPLEJACK Oh, we're going to talk about it. EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY - TRACKING THE MANE 6 Applejack, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, SPIKE, RARITY, PINKIE PIE, and RAINBOW DASH are walking through town. Applejack, in the same pose, is speaking as if continuing the same sentence. APPLEJACK My own sister thinks it ain't fair that she's an earth pony. TWILIGHT Poor thing. I guess I take my magic for granted. I don't know how I'd stand being without it! APPLEJACK (halting) Oh, so you don't know how you could stand being a poor little earth pony? TWILIGHT I didn't mean that! I meant... PINKIE PIE I think she meant that she couldn't stand being a poor little earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony! (eyes narrow at Twilight) Hey! Whatd'ya mean you couldn't stand being a poor little earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony! RAINBOW DASH Well, I don't know how anypony can stand not having wings. APPLEJACK You think pegasus ponies are better than other ponies? RAINBOW DASH Not better. Just more awesome. Not everypony can be a pegasus - just like not every pegasus can be me! We can't all be at the top of the food chain. SPIKE I just feel sorry for everybody who isn't a dragon. PINKIE PIE Top of the food chain? You mean pegasus ponies eat other ponies? Ponies on the street stop what they're doing to watch. RAINBOW DASH (to Spike) You think being a dragon is more awesome than being a pegasus? SPIKE I dunno, Dashie. Ask me again in a hundred years. TWILIGHT Spike! Bad dragon! Pinkie, calm down. That's not even possible. PINKIE PIE Not without... magic! RARITY Pinkie, dear. Surely you don't mean to suggest that pegasus ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy against earth ponies? PINKIE PIE Pegasus ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy against earth ponies?! The watching ponies gape in astonishment, then begin talking among themselves. RARITY Pinkie. Ponies are looking. (pulls a mirror from her pannier and checks her mane, then smiles) You should at least warn me before attracting their attention. APPLEJACK We earth ponies do just fine with the four hooves the Goddess gave us! RARITY Oh, you do amazingly well! I have always wondered how you handle the ingredients for your baking, but... honestly, I didn't want to ask. APPLEJACK Well, I'm glad we cleared the air about that. Good to know how my friends feel about me. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go spend at least part of the day with somepony who respects me. RAINBOW DASH Fine! PINKIE PIE Me too! (thinks) This is gonna be hard. TWILIGHT Girls, please! Let's talk this over... somewhere private. APPLEJACK I'm sorry, I'm an earth pony. I only talk when there's something to be said, not because I like the sound of my voice. TWILIGHT I don't especially like the sound of my voice... It's a little bit nasal... Wait! Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash all head offstage in different directions, angry. INT. PONYVILLE BAR Applejack and some earth ponies, talking over mugs of cider. APPLEJACK I never knew unicorns thought like that. ON A CLOUD - DAY (DUSK) Rainbow Dash is surrounded by other pegasi. RAINBOW DASH And she was angry at me! INT. PONYVILLE DANCE CLUB Pinkie is heads-together with several earth-pony mares, eyeing the unicorn DJ suspiciously. PINKIE PIE And then they eat them! TIME CUT: INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight and Spike head downstairs together. TWILIGHT (to Spike) It didn't sound so bad inside my head. SPIKE Do you think they're still mad? TWILIGHT It's a new day, Spike. (opens the door) I'm sure everyone has forgotten all about it. (steps outside) EXT. LIBRARY - DAY An angry crowd of earth ponies mills about between Twilight's tree and the rest of the town, bearing placards that say ALL YOU NEED IS HOOVES, UNICORNS GO HOME, and I'M NOT TASTY. TWILIGHT Or not.
Act II: In which too much importance is attached to a carrotINTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY APPLE BLOOM Morning, Applejack. I'm gonna go find Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. APPLEJACK Why're you always playing with them two? Why ain’t you got no earth pony friends? APPLE BLOOM (sadly) I guess you're right. They're probably tired of me. EXTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY Apple Bloom walks out of the house. Big MacIntosh is outside, sniffing the ground. BIG MACINTOSH Ground's dry. APPLE BLOOM That's nice. BIG MACINTOSH No it ain't. It was supposed to rain last night. APPLE BLOOM That's nice. (beat) If you see Scootaloo an' Sweetie Belle - tell 'em - tell 'em they can play with somepony else today. I won't mind. Apple Bloom walks O.S, still in a funk. Big MacIntosh watches her go, then heads off in the opposite direction. EXT. ROAD TO PONYVILLE - DAY Big MacIntosh walks down the road towards Ponyville. Scootaloo scoots in the other direction, pulling Sweetie Belle along in her wagon. SCOOTALOO (halting) Big MacIntosh! Where's Apple Bloom? BIG MACINTOSH She said you can play with somepony else today. SWEETIE BELLE Not her too! SCOOTALOO It's still okay if we hang out with you, right? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. Scootaloo turns the wagon around. All three head for town. EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE - DAY Big MacIntosh knocks on the door with one hoof. ANGEL rushes into the frame and attacks Big Mac, kicking Mac's hooves with his hindfeet and then biting them. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle retreat from the door. BIG MACINTOSH That tickles! FLUTTERSHY (O.S., BEHIND DOOR) Please... I don't want to upset anypony. I can't help having wings. BIG MACINTOSH But Miss Fluttershy. Your wings are right purty. Scootaloo mimes gagging. Fluttershy opens the top half of the door. FLUTTERSHY Big MacIntosh! BIG MACINTOSH Miss Fluttershy, I wondered if you could round up some rain for our apple trees. The regular rainponies forgot. FLUTTERSHY I've never done that... but I'll try. Angel, be nice. (to Big MacIntosh) He's upset because I couldn't get him his carrot today. (beat) Something's changed. A lot of ponies are angry. BIG MACINTOSH About there bein' no carrots? FLUTTERSHY Oh, there were plenty of carrots. They wouldn't sell me any. BIG MACINTOSH (beat) Who wouldn't sell you a carrot? FLUTTERSHY Hay Seed. BIG MACINTOSH (stamps one hindleg) I'll get you your carrot, Miss Fluttershy. FLUTTERSHY Oh... you don't have to do that. Angel jumps up on the door ledge and glares at her. FLUTTERSHY (CONT'D) I mean, thank you. Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle exit. EXT. HAY SEED'S - DAY Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle approach a vegetable stand that appears to have been hastily barricaded. Big MacIntosh knocks on a piece of fence that is serving as a door. HAY SEED (O.S., BEHIND DOOR) What's the password? BIG MACINTOSH Password for what? HAY SEED Password so I know you ain't one-a them flyin' or magicin' ponies! BIG MACINTOSH (snorts once) (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle) You kids go across the street. SCOOTALOO (turning and walking away) (to Sweetie) He's ashamed of us! BIG MACINTOSH (to the door) Stand back. HAY SEED That ain't the pass... In one fluid movement, Big MacIntosh spins around, plants his forelegs where his hindlegs were a moment ago, and smashes the barricade into fragments with one kick, revealing a startled Hay Seed and racks of vegetables. HAY SEED (CONT'D) What'd you do that for?! BIG MACINTOSH Didn't know the password. HAY SEED What d'ya want? BIG MACINTOSH A carrot for Miss Fluttershy. HAY SEED Oh? Well, I'm all outta carrots! BIG MACINTOSH What are those? HAY SEED Them carrots is been sold! Hay Seed and Big Mac glare at each other. Big Mac turns and leaves. TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH, SCOOTALOO, SWEETIE BELLE SCOOTALOO That was cool! BIG MACINTOSH If I'd kept cool, I'd have Miss Fluttershy's carrot. SWEETIE BELLE The Cakes make carrot cake. Maybe they have carrots! EXT. SUGARCUBE CORNER - DAY MR. and MRS. CAKE, with POUND CAKE & PUMPKIN CAKE in a stroller, are outside the bakery. Luggage sits in the street next to them. The bakery door has a CLOSED sign. MR. CAKE I'm sorry, Pinkie. Ponyville's not safe for our little Cakes anymore. MRS. CAKE I heard somepony said that pegasi eat earth ponies. MR. CAKE I heard somepony said unicorns help them do it. PINKIE PIE I'm sure that pony didn't mean cute baby ponies! MR. CAKE You can't reason with people like that, Pinkie. Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle walk up. SWEETIE BELLE Mr. & Mrs. Cake! Have you got any carrots? MR. CAKE I'm sorry, kids. I'm all out. Pinkie follows the Cakes offstage, still pleading. TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH - PONYVILLE, MAIN ST. Big MacIntosh takes a few steps down the street, then stops, realizing he doesn't know where he's going. BIG MACINTOSH I can't go back without a carrot. Big MacIntosh sits down in the middle of the street. SCOOTALOO You're attaching way too much importance to this carrot. SWEETIE BELLE Scootaloo! Sometimes you're as thick as... DERPY HOOVES hurries on-stage, pursued by a COLT and a FILLY. FILLY AND COLT Derpy derpy derpy! Big M. gives the colt and filly one look and they hurry off. SCOOTALOO Were they teasing you because you're a pegasus? DERPY Naw. (her ears flick down) They always do that. (to Big MacIntosh) Why're you sitting in the street? SWEETIE BELLE He's mad because Farmer Seed won't sell him a carrot for Fluttershy because she's a pegasus! Scootaloo pushes with her helmet against Big Mac's side, trying and failing to budge him. SWEETIE BELLE (CONT'D) It's so romantic! DERPY You're just gonna sit there? BIG MACINTOSH A pony can sit. DERPY Because Hay Seed won't sell carrots to pegasus ponies? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. DERPY (beat) Will that help? BIG MACINTOSH Nope. After a long pause, Derpy sits down beside Big MacIntosh. BIG MACINTOSH (CONT'D) Go home, Derpy. DERPY A pony can sit. Fluttershy flies on-stage, dripping wet, eyes darting about anxiously. FLUTTERSHY Big MacIntosh! I was worried... BIG MACINTOSH I didn't get your carrot, Miss Fluttershy. An EARTH PONY WORKER pulling a wagon of hay enters. WORKER Hey! Get outta the way! FLUTTERSHY I'm so sorry, we were just -- BIG MACINTOSH Nope. DERPY Nope. WORKER (to Big MacIntosh) What are you doin' with these ponies anyway? You ashamed of your own kind? His words shock and frighten Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. They huddle close to Big MacIntosh and sit down as well. BIG MACINTOSH You go home, Miss Fluttershy. All of you, go home. DERPY Nope. SCOOTALOO Nope. SWEETIE BELLE Nope. FLUTTERSHY N... no. INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight puts a few more books into a pair of saddlebags she has on. Spike carries a suitcase. TWILIGHT It's just until things calm down. SPIKE How will they calm down if all the calm people leave? TWILIGHT I'm irritating them just by my presence, Spike. SPIKE How is that new? Twilight and Spike exit out the front door. EXT. LIBRARY - DAY TWILIGHT Let's stop by and check on the others on our way. SPIKE I think we can skip Sweet Apple Acres. TWILIGHT It is pretty far out of the way... You think Pinkie is at Sugarcube Corner? Walking towards the center of town, Twilight and Spike stumble into a surreal scene outside Sugarcube Corner: Ponies of all kinds sit in the street, blocking it. Angry ponies on both ends of the street are shouting at them, including the sign-carriers.
Act III: For carrots!EXTERIOR PONYVILLE - CENTER OF TOWN - DAY Applejack is among the crowd of townsponies. Rainbow Dash can be seen flying circles up above. Rarity, ARNIE, and HEARTSTRINGS are among those sitting. Spike rushes towards Rarity. Twilight follows. TWILIGHT Rarity! What's going on? RARITY I'm not sure. Something about carrots. SPIKE You're getting all dusty! RARITY We all must make sacrifices sometimes. SPIKE For carrots? RARITY For carrots. PINKIE PIE (popping up before Rarity) And babies! TWILIGHT Can't you see the townsponies are angry? Whatever you're doing is only making it worse! RARITY My heart bleeds for them. PINKIE PIE (popping up farther away) It's a sitting party! We're going to sit still until we all get carrots and the Cakes bring the babies back and make cupcakes! (pops up somewhere else) Oh, I'm no good at this at all! Some TOWNSPONIES notice Twilight. TOWNSPONY #1 There's that mare from Canterlot! She must be behind this! Twilight and Rarity both turn to see who's talking. TOWNSPONY #2 Look out for her horn! Twilight backs up, alarmed, as a cluster of ponies approach and then corner her. Her eyes and horn begin to glow white. RARITY Twilight Sparkle! Sit down! Twilight sits down with a THUMP. The glow fades. The MAYOR enters the scene, and heads straight for Twilight, who is sitting prominently at the edge of the sitting ponies. MAYOR Miss Sparkle... What is the meaning of this? TWILIGHT (dazed) Carrots. RARITY Carrots. MAYOR Can anypony tell me what's going on here? Hardly anyone can hear her above the noise of the crowd. APPLEJACK (stepping forward) Lemme give you a hand, Mayor. SOOOO-EEEEE! The crowd hushes at Applejack's hog-call. A few HOGS rush in and join the crowd at its edges. MAYOR Thank you. Now... Everypony sit down. Everyone except the mayor eventually sits. Rainbow Dash sits on a roof. TOWNSPONY #2 (O.S.) It is kinda calming. MAYOR Somepony tell me what's going on! SOMEPONY #1 Arnie was here when I got here. ARNIE I saw Heartstrings here, sitting in front of some big angry ponies, What was I gonna do, trot by and admit she's got more guts than me? HEARTSTRINGS Someponies were making me feel unwelcome here. And I wanted to go home and hide. Big MacIntosh was just sitting there, not budging. And I thought: I can do that too. Because Ponyville is my home. Silence. HOG #1 So... no slop? MAYOR Big MacIntosh? BIG MACINTOSH Yup? MAYOR Why did you sit down? BIG MACINTOSH I was angry. RAINBOW DASH That makes no sense at all! BIG MACINTOSH You can't kick when you're sitting. Some of the townsponies edge back a little. MAYOR What were you so angry about? BIG MACINTOSH Nopony would sell Miss Fluttershy a carrot, because she's a pegasus. MAYOR That's absurd. HAY SEED (stepping forward) Tain't neither. MAYOR What? HAY SEED I been farming nigh on forty years. I ain't never flown nor done nothin' magical. But I worked hard, and I won't stand to be looked down on because of it. (glares at Rainbow Dash) I heard what some-a them pegasuses said. MAYOR Mister Seed, you must be mistaken. I'm sure nopony in this town would cast aspersions on earth ponies. RAINBOW DASH Well... I said some things that, taken out of context, could be interpreted that way. I mean, taken out of the context of my personal awesomeness. But I don't look down on you! Except literally. TWILIGHT And I said... I said that I didn't know how ponies could stand not having magic. The crowd GASPS. TWILIGHT (CONT'D) But that's because it's part of who I am! It's like if Rarity said she didn't understand how people could stand not having fashion sense. Or if Pinkie Pie said she didn't understand how somepony could not eat cupcakes every day! PINKIE PIE That's true! I don't! TWILIGHT I didn't mean to insult anypony. Mister Seed, I respect your hard work. There wouldn't even be a Ponyville if you didn't know how to make things grow. I don't know how to do that. I couldn't even keep my flowers alive without Spike. SPIKE Must be my purple thumb. RAINBOW DASH I wasn't trying to put anybody else down. I was trying to put me up. MAYOR You need to learn how to do one without the other, Rainbow Dash. RAINBOW DASH What am I supposed to do? Stop being awesome? TWILIGHT No, Rainbow! Just... appreciate other people's awesomeness sometimes. Like the awesome cupcakes that Mr. and Mrs. Cake make. Or the Apple family's awesome apple cider that you can't get enough of. RAINBOW DASH (frowning at Pinkie) It's true. I can't. But... your apple cider is pretty awesome, Applejack. FLUTTERSHY And, Mister Seed, Angel loves your carrots better than anything else in the world. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't get them anymore. SPIKE (to Hay Seed) Think of the bunnies! Applejack shakes her head in alarm at Spike. Hay Seed contemplates this, chewing his wisp of straw, staring at Fluttershy. He stands up. HAY SEED I can't stand bunnies! All the other townsponies stand up again. All the ponies that were originally sitting stand up. HAY SEED (CONT'D) Them critters is always diggin' up my carrots! The groups face off. The CROWD NOISE resumes, louder than before. Suddenly, a CRY stills the noise of the crowd. Everyone looks around for the source. A LITTLE EARTH FILLY, who had gone to the highest balcony of town hall to watch the crowd, is hanging on by two hooves beneath a broken railing. TOWNSPONY #3 My filly! Dramatic BALALAIKA MUSIC plays as the two groups merge into one as a group of earth ponies and unicorns together rushes to the town hall and begin building a pony pyramid under the dangling filly. Several of the unicorns resemble the Russians in the original scene in The Russians are Coming! When the pyramid is halfway there, Rainbow Dash zooms by above them and snatches the filly. Her wake blows the pyramid over, and those ponies collapse on top of each other in a heap to the sounds of balalaika strings SNAPPING. Rainbow Dash sets the filly down next to Townspony #3. MAYOR You see, everypony - you never know when you'll need somepony else. We can only get by if we all cooperate! RAINBOW DASH Cooperate? Twilight and the Mayor glare daggers at Rainbow. RAINBOW DASH (CONT'D) I mean, that pyramid thing you guys did - that was looking good. HAY SEED I mighta been a bit rash. Yer not such a bad fella, in a pinch. Remind me a little of myself, when I was a colt. RAINBOW DASH I'm not a... (breaks off as the Mayor surreptitiously kicks her) HAY SEED I might have some carrots left after all. Maybe there's some filly you'd like to share some with, eh? RAINBOW DASH I'm not a... Fine. Thanks. I would love some carrots. The picketers drop their signs sheepishly. Everypony CHEERS. EXT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Big MacIntosh, and the Crusaders are together outside the tree, Spike with scroll and quill in hand. TWILIGHT I think we all could write a letter to the Princess this time. APPLE BLOOM Can I write the letter? TWILIGHT Go ahead, Apple Bloom! APPLE BLOOM Dear Princess Celestia. How're you? I'm fine. Do you like apples? I like apples. That's a good thing, what with all the apples we got. Spike stops writing. APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D) And also cupcakes. Mr. and Mrs. Cake make the best cupcakes... SPIKE Ahem. APPLE BLOOM Sorry. This week I learned that if you think your friends don't like you, you should talk to them about it, instead of other people. PINKIE PIE I learned that too! APPLE BLOOM Also, you shouldn't get all worked up about whether things are fair when things are still pretty fine. PINKIE PIE No fair! I didn't learn that! TWILIGHT I learned that I should think before I talk about other people. BIG MACINTOSH I learned that if you're angry, sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. FLUTTERSHY And I learned that sometimes, you should say no. Even if it's scary. SPIKE Enough learning! My wrists are tired. BIG MACINTOSH Miss Fluttershy, if you ever need help saying nope, I hope you'll call on me. FLUTTERSHY Oh! How could I say no to that? APPLEJACK (to Fluttershy) Sister, you and me are gonna have a little talk. (walks offstage) FLUTTERSHY (following AJ offstage) Okay. Rainbow Dash and Derpy fly by overhead, suspending Hay Seed between them in a sling. HAY SEED Wahoo! I'm flyin'! THE END
Act I: In which it ain't fairAUTHOR'S NOTE: This is almost what a real My Little Pony script looks like. I made the dialogue margins narrower to make it easier to read, changed underlining to italics, and removed some of the oddball capitalization that's a hangover from live-action filming to make sure all necessary props make it to the set. Character capitalization on first introduction is also a hangover from live-action filming, to help actors identify their entrances. Scene headings do not indicate time of day because time of day can't be reliably communicated visually. "TRACKING SPIKE" means the camera tracks Spike as he moves. "ANGLE ON RARITY" means the camera angle changes to look at Rarity. "TIME CUT" indicates a discontinuity in time. "O.S." = off-stage. Camera directions, blocking, character expressions, and details of physical actions are seldom described, so that the director, actors, animators -- and now you, the reader -- may re-imagine them as they see fit. There is no Carrot Family Farm in canon, just ponies not named Carrot with carrot cutie marks (notably Golden Harvest), and pictures of an unidentified carrot farm behind Sweet Apple Acres. Hayseed was canon in mid-season 1 but was moved and renamed to become the royal gardener. INTERIOR LIBRARY - DAY APPLE BLOOM, SCOOTALOO, and SWEETIE BELLE shelve books, under the only semi-watchful eye of SPIKE, who is reclining on a pillow eating a muffin. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle work quickly, the one flying and the other magically levitating books, while Apple Bloom rears up on her hind legs, struggling to reach the third shelf. SPIKE (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle) Great work, guys. (to Apple Bloom) Apple Bloom! You'll never get your cutie mark at that rate. APPLE BLOOM But I can't reach! SPIKE Then use the ladder! Apple Bloom noses the sliding library ladder over to where she wants it to be, then eyes it dubiously. She picks up a book in her mouth and tries to climb it, but due to a lack of opposable thumbs, falls off and lands on her back just as TWILIGHT SPARKLE walks in the door. TWILIGHT What's going on here? SCOOTALOO Spike's giving us another chance to try for our librarying cutie marks! SPIKE Everypony deserves a second chance. Turns out all they needed was a little expert guidance. TWILIGHT Spike's letting you shelf books? APPLE BLOOM (STANDING UP) Well, he did after we gave him two muffins and one of Grannie's apple pies. TWILIGHT Spike. Give the girls their muffins. SPIKE (licking his lips) ... Too late. Anyway, I think they're doing a great job. Not as good as I could, of course. Hey, maybe they'll get cutie marks of me! How cool would that be? Scootaloo spits out the book she had in her mouth while Sweetie Belle lets one drop to the floor. All three fillies worriedly inspect their flanks. TWILIGHT Girls, thanks for your help. If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk with Spike. Alone. APPLE BLOOM But what about our cutie marks? SCOOTALOO Come on, guys. Back to the clubhouse. The three fillies say their goodbyes and head for the door. SPIKE But there's so many more chores to do! TWILIGHT Then you'd better get started. SPIKE Aww. I was just trying to help. EXTERIOR CLUBHOUSE - DAY Scootaloo leaves her scooter on the ground and flies up to the walkway, then in through an open window. SB walks up the gangway and opens the door magically, which swings shut behind her. AB pulls the door open with her teeth, backing up as it opens, so she is trapped behind it on the walkway. She lets it go, then tries again, backing down the gangway, but loses her grip on the knob as she descends. Scootaloo pokes her head out, holding the door open. SCOOTALOO What's keeping you? APPLE BLOOM It's this stupid door. SCOOTALOO I know, right? That's why I use the window. APPLE BLOOM I can't use the window! SCOOTALOO Aw, come on, don't cry. Here. Scootaloo turns around and kicks the door off its hinges. It nearly hits Apple Bloom before falling offscreen. SCOOTALOO (CONT'D) Problem solved. APPLE BLOOM Y'almost hit me, Scoot! SCOOTALOO Put the hinges on the inside next time. Apple Bloom enters the clubhouse. INT. CLUBHOUSE SWEETIE BELLE We tried being time travellers, fashionistas, and librarians. APPLE BLOOM I couldn't do any of those things! SCOOTALOO None of us could. APPLE BLOOM I couldn't even pick up the needle and thread at the same time. SWEETIE BELLE Why don't you pick what we do next, Apple Bloom? APPLE BLOOM I know! It's apple-bucking season. Let's try that! SCOOTALOO Great idea! You're sure to get a cutie mark! EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY Apple Bloom, standing by a tree, kicks it repeatedly, each time shaking a few apples loose, which fall to the ground near a bucket. She gathers them one-by-one and puts them into the bucket until it is half-full. APPLE BLOOM It's all in the kick, girls. You'll get the... ANGLE ON - SWEETIE BELLE AND SCOOTALOO Sweetie Belle rapidly levitates apples directly off the tree and into her bucket; Scootaloo flies from branch to branch, plucking apples and tossing them directly into her bucket. Both buckets are overfull. ANGLE ON - APPLE BLOOM APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D) ... hang of it? INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE GRANNY SMITH is bringing plates of food to a table where BIG MACINTOSH and APPLEJACK are already waiting as Apple Bloom walks in, head downcast. APPLEJACK Why the long face, sis? APPLE BLOOM It's not fair! Scootaloo's learning to fly, and Sweetie Belle's learning magic, and I'm still just an earth pony. APPLEJACK 'Scuze me? Just an earth pony? You mean, like me an' Mac an' all your kin? APPLE BLOOM Well... You're not just an earth pony. You're the best athlete in Ponyville. APPLEJACK Only so's I can keep Rainbow Dash in line. APPLE BLOOM And Big MacIntosh is the biggest, strongest pony around these parts. BIG MACINTOSH Nope. There's a unicorn in Celestia's guard who's bigger. APPLE BLOOM He's bigger, and he's a unicorn? BIG MACINTOSH Yup. APPLE BLOOM That ain't fair! BIG MACINTOSH (thinks it over) Guess not. Granny Smith trots up behind Apple Bloom, reaches over her, and eats everything on her plate in one gulp. APPLE BLOOM Granny! You stole my lunch! GRANNY SMITH En I cooked it! So that's fair. Heh-heh-heh! APPLEJACK Listen, honey. I don't know nothin' 'bout fair. Do good work, be a good friend, live a good life. (teasingly) As long as they ain't better than you at apple bucking, you got nothing to worry about! Apple Bloom looks away shamefacedly. APPLEJACK (CONT'D) What - you ashamed of being a farmer? APPLE BLOOM No. APPLEJACK So first being an earth pony ain't good enough for you, now being a farmer ain't good enough for you? APPLE BLOOM No! It's just... I don't want talk about it. APPLEJACK Oh, we're going to talk about it. EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY - TRACKING THE MANE 6 Applejack, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, SPIKE, RARITY, PINKIE PIE, and RAINBOW DASH are walking through town. Applejack, in the same pose, is speaking as if continuing the same sentence. APPLEJACK My own sister thinks it ain't fair that she's an earth pony. TWILIGHT Poor thing. I guess I take my magic for granted. I don't know how I'd stand being without it! APPLEJACK (halting) Oh, so you don't know how you could stand being a poor little earth pony? TWILIGHT I didn't mean that! I meant... PINKIE PIE I think she meant that she couldn't stand being a poor little earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony! (eyes narrow at Twilight) Hey! Whatd'ya mean you couldn't stand being a poor little earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony! RAINBOW DASH Well, I don't know how anypony can stand not having wings. APPLEJACK You think pegasus ponies are better than other ponies? RAINBOW DASH Not better. Just more awesome. Not everypony can be a pegasus - just like not every pegasus can be me! We can't all be at the top of the food chain. SPIKE I just feel sorry for everybody who isn't a dragon. PINKIE PIE Top of the food chain? You mean pegasus ponies eat other ponies? Ponies on the street stop what they're doing to watch. RAINBOW DASH (to Spike) You think being a dragon is more awesome than being a pegasus? SPIKE I dunno, Dashie. Ask me again in a hundred years. TWILIGHT Spike! Bad dragon! Pinkie, calm down. That's not even possible. PINKIE PIE Not without... magic! RARITY Pinkie, dear. Surely you don't mean to suggest that pegasus ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy against earth ponies? PINKIE PIE Pegasus ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy against earth ponies?! The watching ponies gape in astonishment, then begin talking among themselves. RARITY Pinkie. Ponies are looking. (pulls a mirror from her pannier and checks her mane, then smiles) You should at least warn me before attracting their attention. APPLEJACK We earth ponies do just fine with the four hooves the Goddess gave us! RARITY Oh, you do amazingly well! I have always wondered how you handle the ingredients for your baking, but... honestly, I didn't want to ask. APPLEJACK Well, I'm glad we cleared the air about that. Good to know how my friends feel about me. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go spend at least part of the day with somepony who respects me. RAINBOW DASH Fine! PINKIE PIE Me too! (thinks) This is gonna be hard. TWILIGHT Girls, please! Let's talk this over... somewhere private. APPLEJACK I'm sorry, I'm an earth pony. I only talk when there's something to be said, not because I like the sound of my voice. TWILIGHT I don't especially like the sound of my voice... It's a little bit nasal... Wait! Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash all head offstage in different directions, angry. INT. PONYVILLE BAR Applejack and some earth ponies, talking over mugs of cider. APPLEJACK I never knew unicorns thought like that. ON A CLOUD - DAY (DUSK) Rainbow Dash is surrounded by other pegasi. RAINBOW DASH And she was angry at me! INT. PONYVILLE DANCE CLUB Pinkie is heads-together with several earth-pony mares, eyeing the unicorn DJ suspiciously. PINKIE PIE And then they eat them! TIME CUT: INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight and Spike head downstairs together. TWILIGHT (to Spike) It didn't sound so bad inside my head. SPIKE Do you think they're still mad? TWILIGHT It's a new day, Spike. (opens the door) I'm sure everyone has forgotten all about it. (steps outside) EXT. LIBRARY - DAY An angry crowd of earth ponies mills about between Twilight's tree and the rest of the town, bearing placards that say ALL YOU NEED IS HOOVES, UNICORNS GO HOME, and I'M NOT TASTY. TWILIGHT Or not.
