A Carrot for Miss Fluttershy

by Bad Horse

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy
Length: 4656

Farmer Hayseed won't sell carrots to pegasi. Big Mac finds this unacceptable.

Can anypony clean up the mess after an argument among friends spreads to all of Ponyville, turning earth ponies against pegasi and unicorns? Big MacIntosh doesn't expect that he can. He just wants a carrot for Miss Fluttershy.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-27 00:43:04 UTC

Act II: In which too much importance is attached to a carrot

INTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Morning, Applejack.  I'm gonna go find Sweetie Belle and

          Scootaloo.

                                   APPLEJACK

          Why're you always playing with them two?  Why ain’t you

          got no earth pony friends?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                   (sadly)

          I guess you're right.  They're probably tired of me.

EXTERIOR APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY

Apple Bloom walks out of the house.  Big MacIntosh is outside, sniffing the ground.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Ground's dry.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          That's nice.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          No it ain't.  It was supposed to rain last night.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          That's nice.

                   (beat)

          If you see Scootaloo an' Sweetie Belle - tell 'em - tell 'em

          they can play with somepony else today.  I won't mind.

Apple Bloom walks O.S, still in a funk.  Big MacIntosh watches her go, then heads off in the opposite direction.

EXT. ROAD TO PONYVILLE - DAY

Big MacIntosh walks down the road towards Ponyville.  Scootaloo scoots in the other direction, pulling Sweetie Belle along in her wagon.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                   (halting)

          Big MacIntosh!  Where's Apple Bloom?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          She said you can play with somepony else today.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          Not her too!

                                   SCOOTALOO

          It's still okay if we hang out with you, right?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Yup.

Scootaloo turns the wagon around.  All three head for town.

EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE - DAY

Big MacIntosh knocks on the door with one hoof.  ANGEL rushes into the frame and attacks Big Mac, kicking Mac's hooves with his hindfeet and then biting them.  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle retreat from the door.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          That tickles!

                                   FLUTTERSHY (O.S., BEHIND DOOR)

          Please... I don't want to upset anypony.  I can't help having

          wings.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          But Miss Fluttershy.  Your wings are right purty.

Scootaloo mimes gagging.  Fluttershy opens the top half of the door.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Big MacIntosh!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Miss Fluttershy, I wondered if you could round up some rain

          for our apple trees.  The regular rainponies forgot.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          I've never done that... but I'll try.  Angel, be nice.

                   (to Big MacIntosh)

          He's upset because I couldn't get him his carrot today.

                   (beat)

          Something's changed.  A lot of ponies are angry.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          About there bein' no carrots?

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Oh, there were plenty of carrots.  They wouldn't sell me any.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                   (beat)

          Who wouldn't sell you a carrot?

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Hay Seed.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                   (stamps one hindleg)

          I'll get you your carrot, Miss Fluttershy.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Oh... you don't have to do that.

Angel jumps up on the door ledge and glares at her.

                                   FLUTTERSHY (CONT'D)

          I mean, thank you.

Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle exit.

EXT. HAY SEED'S - DAY

Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle approach a vegetable stand that appears to have been hastily barricaded.  Big MacIntosh knocks on a piece of fence that is serving as a door.

                                   HAY SEED (O.S., BEHIND DOOR)

          What's the password?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Password for what?

                                   HAY SEED

          Password so I know you ain't one-a them flyin' or magicin'

          ponies!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                   (snorts once)

                   (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle)

          You kids go across the street.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                   (turning and walking away)

                   (to Sweetie)

          He's ashamed of us!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                   (to the door)

          Stand back.

                                   HAY SEED

          That ain't the pass...

In one fluid movement, Big MacIntosh spins around, plants his forelegs where his hindlegs were a moment ago, and smashes the barricade into fragments with one kick, revealing a startled Hay Seed and racks of vegetables.

                                   HAY SEED (CONT'D)

          What'd you do that for?!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Didn't know the password.

                                   HAY SEED

          What d'ya want?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          A carrot for Miss Fluttershy.

                                   HAY SEED

          Oh?  Well, I'm all outta carrots!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          What are those?

                                   HAY SEED

          Them carrots is been sold!

Hay Seed and Big Mac glare at each other.  Big Mac turns and leaves.

TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH, SCOOTALOO, SWEETIE BELLE

                                   SCOOTALOO

          That was cool!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          If I'd kept cool, I'd have Miss Fluttershy's carrot.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          The Cakes make carrot cake.  Maybe they have carrots!

EXT. SUGARCUBE CORNER - DAY

MR. and MRS. CAKE, with POUND CAKE & PUMPKIN CAKE in a stroller, are outside the bakery.  Luggage sits in the street next to them.  The bakery door has a CLOSED sign.

                                   MR. CAKE

          I'm sorry, Pinkie.  Ponyville's not safe for our little Cakes

          anymore.

                                   MRS. CAKE

          I heard somepony said that pegasi eat earth ponies.

                                   MR. CAKE

          I heard somepony said unicorns help them do it.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          I'm sure that pony didn't mean cute baby ponies!

                                   MR. CAKE

          You can't reason with people like that, Pinkie.

Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle walk up.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          Mr. & Mrs. Cake!  Have you got any carrots?

                                   MR. CAKE

          I'm sorry, kids.  I'm all out.

Pinkie follows the Cakes offstage, still pleading.

TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH - PONYVILLE, MAIN ST.

Big MacIntosh takes a few steps down the street, then stops, realizing he doesn't know where he's going.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          I can't go back without a carrot.

Big MacIntosh sits down in the middle of the street.

                                   SCOOTALOO

          You're attaching way too much importance to this carrot.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          Scootaloo!  Sometimes you're as thick as...

DERPY HOOVES hurries on-stage, pursued by a COLT and a FILLY.

                                   FILLY AND COLT

          Derpy derpy derpy!

Big M. gives the colt and filly one look and they hurry off.

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Were they teasing you because you're a pegasus?

                                   DERPY

          Naw.

                   (her ears flick down)

          They always do that.

                   (to Big MacIntosh)

          Why're you sitting in the street?

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          He's mad because Farmer Seed won't sell him a carrot for

          Fluttershy because she's a pegasus!

Scootaloo pushes with her helmet against Big Mac's side, trying and failing to budge him.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE (CONT'D)

          It's so romantic!

                                   DERPY

          You're just gonna sit there?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          A pony can sit.

                                   DERPY

          Because Hay Seed won't sell carrots to pegasus ponies?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Yup.

                                   DERPY

                   (beat)

          Will that help?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Nope.

After a long pause, Derpy sits down beside Big MacIntosh.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH (CONT'D)

          Go home, Derpy.

                                   DERPY

          A pony can sit.

Fluttershy flies on-stage, dripping wet, eyes darting about anxiously.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Big MacIntosh!  I was worried...

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          I didn't get your carrot, Miss Fluttershy.

An EARTH PONY WORKER pulling a wagon of hay enters.

                                   WORKER

          Hey!  Get outta the way!

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          I'm so sorry, we were just --

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Nope.

                                   DERPY

          Nope.

                                   WORKER

                   (to Big MacIntosh)

          What are you doin' with these ponies anyway?

          You ashamed of your own kind?

His words shock and frighten Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.  They huddle close to Big MacIntosh and sit down as well.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          You go home, Miss Fluttershy.  All of you, go home.

                                   DERPY

          Nope.

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Nope.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          Nope.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          N... no.

INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Twilight puts a few more books into a pair of saddlebags she has on.  Spike carries a suitcase.

                                   TWILIGHT

          It's just until things calm down.

                                   SPIKE

          How will they calm down if all the calm people leave?

                                   TWILIGHT

          I'm irritating them just by my presence, Spike.

                                   SPIKE

          How is that new?

Twilight and Spike exit out the front door.

EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

                                   TWILIGHT

          Let's stop by and check on the others on our way.

                                   SPIKE

          I think we can skip Sweet Apple Acres.

                                   TWILIGHT

          It is pretty far out of the way...  You think Pinkie is at

          Sugarcube Corner?

Walking towards the center of town, Twilight and Spike stumble into a surreal scene outside Sugarcube Corner:  Ponies of all kinds sit in the street, blocking it.  Angry ponies on both ends of the street are shouting at them, including the sign-carriers.

Act III: For carrots!

EXTERIOR PONYVILLE - CENTER OF TOWN - DAY

Applejack is among the crowd of townsponies.  Rainbow Dash can be seen flying circles up above.  Rarity, ARNIE, and HEARTSTRINGS are among those sitting.  Spike rushes towards Rarity.  Twilight follows.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Rarity!  What's going on?

                                   RARITY

          I'm not sure.  Something about carrots.

                                   SPIKE

          You're getting all dusty!

                                   RARITY

          We all must make sacrifices sometimes.

                                   SPIKE

          For carrots?

                                   RARITY

          For carrots.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                   (popping up before Rarity)

          And babies!

                                   TWILIGHT

          Can't you see the townsponies are angry?  Whatever you're

          doing is only making it worse!

                                   RARITY

          My heart bleeds for them.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                   (popping up farther away)

          It's a sitting party!  We're going to sit still until we all

          get carrots and the Cakes bring the babies back and make

          cupcakes!

                   (pops up somewhere else)

          Oh, I'm no good at this at all!

Some TOWNSPONIES notice Twilight.

                                   TOWNSPONY #1

          There's that mare from Canterlot!  She must be behind this!

Twilight and Rarity both turn to see who's talking.

                                   TOWNSPONY #2

          Look out for her horn!

Twilight backs up, alarmed, as a cluster of ponies approach and then corner her.  Her eyes and horn begin to glow white.

                                   RARITY

Twilight Sparkle!  Sit down!

Twilight sits down with a THUMP.  The glow fades.  The MAYOR enters the scene, and heads straight for Twilight, who is sitting prominently at the edge of the sitting ponies.

                                   MAYOR

          Miss Sparkle...  What is the meaning of this?

                                   TWILIGHT

                   (dazed)

          Carrots.

                                   RARITY

          Carrots.

                                   MAYOR

          Can anypony tell me what's going on here?

Hardly anyone can hear her above the noise of the crowd.

                                   APPLEJACK

                   (stepping forward)

          Lemme give you a hand, Mayor.  SOOOO-EEEEE!

The crowd hushes at Applejack's hog-call.  A few HOGS rush in and join the crowd at its edges.

                                   MAYOR

          Thank you.  Now... Everypony sit down.

Everyone except the mayor eventually sits.  Rainbow Dash sits on a roof.

                                   TOWNSPONY #2 (O.S.)

          It is kinda calming.

                                   MAYOR

          Somepony tell me what's going on!

                                   SOMEPONY #1

          Arnie was here when I got here.

                                   ARNIE

          I saw Heartstrings here,  sitting in front of some big angry

          ponies, What was I gonna do, trot by and admit she's got more

          guts than me?

                                   HEARTSTRINGS

          Someponies were making me feel unwelcome here.  And I wanted

          to go home and hide.  Big MacIntosh was just sitting there,

          not budging.  And I thought:  I can do that too.  Because

          Ponyville is my home.

Silence.

                                   HOG #1

          So... no slop?

                                   MAYOR

          Big MacIntosh?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Yup?

                                   MAYOR

          Why did you sit down?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          I was angry.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          That makes no sense at all!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          You can't kick when you're sitting.

Some of the townsponies edge back a little.

                                   MAYOR

          What were you so angry about?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Nopony would sell Miss Fluttershy a carrot, because she's a

          pegasus.

                                   MAYOR

          That's absurd.

                                   HAY SEED

                   (stepping forward)

          Tain't neither.

                                   MAYOR

          What?

                                   HAY SEED

          I been farming nigh on forty years.  I ain't never flown nor

          done nothin' magical.  But I worked hard, and I won't stand

          to be looked down on because of it.

                   (glares at Rainbow Dash)

          I heard what some-a them pegasuses said.

                                   MAYOR

          Mister Seed, you must be mistaken.  I'm sure nopony in

          this town would cast aspersions on earth ponies.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          Well... I said some things that, taken out of context, could

          be interpreted that way.  I mean, taken out of the context

          of my personal awesomeness.  But I don't look down on you!

          Except literally.

                                   TWILIGHT

          And I said...  I said that I didn't know how ponies could

          stand not having magic.

The crowd GASPS.

                                   TWILIGHT (CONT'D)

          But that's because it's part of who I am!  It's like if

          Rarity said she didn't understand how people could stand not

          having fashion sense.  Or if Pinkie Pie said she didn't

          understand how somepony could not eat cupcakes every day!

                                   PINKIE PIE

          That's true!  I don't!

                                   TWILIGHT

          I didn't mean to insult anypony.  Mister Seed, I respect

          your hard work.  There wouldn't even be a Ponyville if you

          didn't know how to make things grow.  I don't know how to do

          that.  I couldn't even keep my flowers alive without Spike.

                                   SPIKE

          Must be my purple thumb.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          I wasn't trying to put anybody else down.  I was trying to

          put me up.

                                   MAYOR

          You need to learn how to do one without the other, Rainbow Dash.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          What am I supposed to do?  Stop being awesome?

                                   TWILIGHT

          No, Rainbow!  Just... appreciate other people's awesomeness

          sometimes.  Like the awesome cupcakes that Mr. and Mrs. Cake

          make.  Or the Apple family's awesome apple cider that you

          can't get enough of.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                   (frowning at Pinkie)

          It's true.  I can't.  But... your apple cider is pretty

          awesome, Applejack.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          And, Mister Seed, Angel loves your carrots better than

          anything else in the world.  I don't know what I'd do if I

          couldn't get them anymore.

                                   SPIKE

                   (to Hay Seed)

          Think of the bunnies!

Applejack shakes her head in alarm at Spike.  Hay Seed contemplates this, chewing his wisp of straw, staring at Fluttershy.  He stands up.

                                   HAY SEED

          I can't stand bunnies!

All the other townsponies stand up again.  All the ponies that were originally sitting stand up.

                                   HAY SEED (CONT'D)

          Them critters is always diggin' up my carrots!

The groups face off.  The CROWD NOISE resumes, louder than before.  Suddenly, a CRY stills the noise of the crowd.  Everyone looks around for the source.  A LITTLE EARTH FILLY, who had gone to the highest balcony of town hall to watch the crowd, is hanging on by two hooves beneath a broken railing.

                                   TOWNSPONY #3

          My filly!

Dramatic BALALAIKA MUSIC plays as the two groups merge into one as a group of earth ponies and unicorns together rushes to the town hall and begin building a pony pyramid under the dangling filly.  Several of the unicorns resemble the Russians in the original scene in The Russians are Coming!  When the pyramid is halfway there, Rainbow Dash zooms by above them and snatches the filly.  Her wake blows the pyramid over, and those ponies collapse on top of each other in a heap to the sounds of balalaika strings SNAPPING.  Rainbow Dash sets the filly down next to Townspony #3.

                                   MAYOR

          You see, everypony - you never know when you'll need somepony

          else.  We can only get by if we all cooperate!

                                   RAINBOW DASH

Cooperate?

Twilight and the Mayor glare daggers at Rainbow.

                                   RAINBOW DASH (CONT'D)

          I mean, that pyramid thing you guys did - that was looking

          good.

                                   HAY SEED

          I mighta been a bit rash.  Yer not such a bad fella, in a

          pinch.  Remind me a little of myself, when I was a colt.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          I'm not a...

                   (breaks off as the Mayor surreptitiously

                    kicks her)

                                   HAY SEED

          I might have some carrots left after all.  Maybe there's some

          filly you'd like to share some with, eh?

                                   RAINBOW DASH

I'm not a...  Fine.  Thanks.  I would love some carrots.

The picketers drop their signs sheepishly.  Everypony CHEERS.

EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Big MacIntosh, and the Crusaders are together outside the tree, Spike with scroll and quill in hand.

                                   TWILIGHT

          I think we all could write a letter to the Princess this

          time.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Can I write the letter?

                                   TWILIGHT

          Go ahead, Apple Bloom!

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Dear Princess Celestia.  How're you?  I'm fine.  Do you like

          apples?  I like apples.  That's a good thing, what with all

          the apples we got.

Spike stops writing.

                                   APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

          And also cupcakes.  Mr. and Mrs. Cake make the best

          cupcakes...

                                   SPIKE

          Ahem.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Sorry.  This week I learned that if you think your friends

          don't like you, you should talk to them about it, instead of

          other people.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          I learned that too!

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Also, you shouldn't get all worked up about whether things

          are fair when things are still pretty fine.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          No fair!  I didn't learn that!

                                   TWILIGHT

          I learned that I should think before I talk about other

          people.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          I learned that if you're angry, sometimes the best thing to

          do is nothing.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          And I learned that sometimes, you should say no.  Even if

          it's scary.

                                   SPIKE

          Enough learning!  My wrists are tired.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Miss Fluttershy, if you ever need help saying nope, I hope

          you'll call on me.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

          Oh!  How could I say no to that?

                                   APPLEJACK

                   (to Fluttershy)

          Sister, you and me are gonna have a little talk.

                   (walks offstage)

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                   (following AJ offstage)

          Okay.

Rainbow Dash and Derpy fly by overhead, suspending Hay Seed between them in a sling.

                                   HAY SEED

          Wahoo!  I'm flyin'!

THE END

Act I: In which it ain't fair

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This is almost what a real My Little Pony script looks like. I made the dialogue margins narrower to make it easier to read, changed underlining to italics, and removed some of the oddball capitalization that's a hangover from live-action filming to make sure all necessary props make it to the set. Character capitalization on first introduction is also a hangover from live-action filming, to help actors identify their entrances. Scene headings do not indicate time of day because time of day can't be reliably communicated visually. "TRACKING SPIKE" means the camera tracks Spike as he moves. "ANGLE ON RARITY" means the camera angle changes to look at Rarity. "TIME CUT" indicates a discontinuity in time. "O.S." = off-stage.  Camera directions, blocking, character expressions, and details of physical actions are seldom described, so that the director, actors, animators -- and now you, the reader -- may re-imagine them as they see fit.

There is no Carrot Family Farm in canon, just ponies not named Carrot with carrot cutie marks (notably Golden Harvest), and pictures of an unidentified carrot farm behind Sweet Apple Acres.  Hayseed was canon in mid-season 1 but was moved and renamed to become the royal gardener.

INTERIOR LIBRARY - DAY

APPLE BLOOM, SCOOTALOO, and SWEETIE BELLE shelve books, under the only semi-watchful eye of SPIKE, who is reclining on a pillow eating a muffin.  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle work quickly, the one flying and the other magically levitating books, while Apple Bloom rears up on her hind legs, struggling to reach the third shelf.

                                   SPIKE

                   (to Scootaloo & Sweetie Belle)

          Great work, guys.

                   (to Apple Bloom)

          Apple Bloom!  You'll never get your cutie mark at that rate.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          But I can't reach!

                                   SPIKE

          Then use the ladder!

Apple Bloom noses the sliding library ladder over to where she wants it to be, then eyes it dubiously.  She picks up a book in her mouth and tries to climb it, but due to a lack of opposable thumbs, falls off and lands on her back just as TWILIGHT SPARKLE walks in the door.

                                   TWILIGHT

          What's going on here?

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Spike's giving us another chance to try for our librarying

          cutie marks!

                                   SPIKE

          Everypony deserves a second chance.  Turns out all they

          needed was a little expert guidance.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Spike's letting you shelf books?

                                   APPLE BLOOM (STANDING UP)

          Well, he did after we gave him two muffins and one of

          Grannie's apple pies.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Spike.  Give the girls their muffins.

                                   SPIKE

                   (licking his lips)

          ... Too late.  Anyway, I think they're doing a great job.

          Not as good as I could, of course.  Hey, maybe they'll get

          cutie marks of me!  How cool would that be?

Scootaloo spits out the book she had in her mouth while Sweetie Belle lets one drop to the floor.  All three fillies worriedly inspect their flanks.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Girls, thanks for your help.  If you wouldn't mind, I'd like

          to talk with Spike.  Alone.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          But what about our cutie marks?

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Come on, guys.  Back to the clubhouse.

The three fillies say their goodbyes and head for the door.

                                   SPIKE

          But there's so many more chores to do!

                                   TWILIGHT

          Then you'd better get started.

                                   SPIKE

          Aww.  I was just trying to help.

EXTERIOR CLUBHOUSE - DAY

Scootaloo leaves her scooter on the ground and flies up to the walkway, then in through an open window.  SB walks up the gangway and opens the door magically, which swings shut behind her.  AB pulls the door open with her teeth, backing up as it opens, so she is trapped behind it on the walkway.  She lets it go, then tries again, backing down the gangway, but loses her grip on the knob as she descends.  Scootaloo pokes her head out, holding the door open.

                                   SCOOTALOO

          What's keeping you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          It's this stupid door.

                                   SCOOTALOO

          I know, right?  That's why I use the window.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          I can't use the window!

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Aw, come on, don't cry.  Here.

Scootaloo turns around and kicks the door off its hinges.  It nearly hits Apple Bloom before falling offscreen.

                                   SCOOTALOO (CONT'D)

          Problem solved.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Y'almost hit me, Scoot!

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Put the hinges on the inside next time.

Apple Bloom enters the clubhouse.

INT. CLUBHOUSE

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          We tried being time travellers, fashionistas, and librarians.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          I couldn't do any of those things!

                                   SCOOTALOO

          None of us could.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          I couldn't even pick up the needle and thread at the same

          time.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

          Why don't you pick what we do next, Apple Bloom?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          I know!  It's apple-bucking season.  Let's try that!

                                   SCOOTALOO

          Great idea!  You're sure to get a cutie mark!

EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY

Apple Bloom, standing by a tree, kicks it repeatedly, each time shaking a few apples loose, which fall to the ground near a bucket.  She gathers them one-by-one and puts them into the bucket until it is half-full.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          It's all in the kick, girls.  You'll get the...

ANGLE ON - SWEETIE BELLE AND SCOOTALOO

Sweetie Belle rapidly levitates apples directly off the tree and into her bucket; Scootaloo flies from branch to branch, plucking apples and tossing them directly into her bucket.  Both buckets are overfull.

ANGLE ON - APPLE BLOOM

                                   APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

          ... hang of it?

INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE

GRANNY SMITH is bringing plates of food to a table where BIG MACINTOSH and APPLEJACK are already waiting as Apple Bloom walks in, head downcast.

                                   APPLEJACK

          Why the long face, sis?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          It's not fair!  Scootaloo's learning to fly, and Sweetie

          Belle's learning magic, and I'm still just an earth pony.

                                   APPLEJACK

          'Scuze me?  Just an earth pony?  You mean, like me an' Mac

          an' all your kin?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Well... You're not just an earth pony.  You're the best

          athlete in Ponyville.

                                   APPLEJACK

          Only so's I can keep Rainbow Dash in line.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          And Big MacIntosh is the biggest, strongest pony around these

          parts.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Nope.  There's a unicorn in Celestia's guard who's bigger.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          He's bigger, and he's a unicorn?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

          Yup.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          That ain't fair!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                   (thinks it over)

          Guess not.

Granny Smith trots up behind Apple Bloom, reaches over her, and eats everything on her plate in one gulp.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          Granny!  You stole my lunch!

                                   GRANNY SMITH

          En I cooked it!  So that's fair.  Heh-heh-heh!

                                   APPLEJACK

          Listen, honey.  I don't know nothin' 'bout fair.  Do good

          work, be a good friend, live a good life.

                   (teasingly)

          As long as they ain't better than you at apple bucking, you

          got nothing to worry about!

Apple Bloom looks away shamefacedly.

                                   APPLEJACK (CONT'D)

          What - you ashamed of being a farmer?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

          No.

                                   APPLEJACK

          So first being an earth pony ain't good enough for you, now

          being a farmer ain't good enough for you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

No!  It's just...  I don't want talk about it.

                                   APPLEJACK

          Oh, we're going to talk about it.

EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY - TRACKING THE MANE 6

Applejack, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, SPIKE, RARITY, PINKIE PIE, and RAINBOW DASH are walking through town.  Applejack, in the same pose, is speaking as if continuing the same sentence.

                                   APPLEJACK

          My own sister thinks it ain't fair that she's an earth pony.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Poor thing.  I guess I take my magic for granted.  I don't

          know how I'd stand being without it!

                                   APPLEJACK

                   (halting)

          Oh, so you don't know how you could stand being a poor little

          earth pony?

                                   TWILIGHT

          I didn't mean that!  I meant...

                                   PINKIE PIE

          I think she meant that she couldn't stand being a poor little

          earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                   (eyes narrow at Twilight)

          Hey!  Whatd'ya mean you couldn't stand being a poor little

          earth pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          Well, I don't know how anypony can stand not having wings.

                                   APPLEJACK

          You think pegasus ponies are better than other ponies?

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          Not better.  Just more awesome.  Not everypony can be a

          pegasus - just like not every pegasus can be me!  We can't

          all be at the top of the food chain.

                                   SPIKE

          I just feel sorry for everybody who isn't a dragon.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          Top of the food chain?  You mean pegasus ponies eat other

          ponies?

Ponies on the street stop what they're doing to watch.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                   (to Spike)

          You think being a dragon is more awesome than being a

          pegasus?

                                   SPIKE

          I dunno, Dashie.  Ask me again in a hundred years.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Spike!  Bad dragon!  Pinkie, calm down.  That's not even

          possible.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          Not without... magic!

                                   RARITY

          Pinkie, dear.  Surely you don't mean to suggest that pegasus

          ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy against earth

          ponies?

                                   PINKIE PIE

Pegasus ponies and unicorns are in a secret conspiracy

against earth ponies?!

The watching ponies gape in astonishment, then begin talking among themselves.

                                   RARITY

          Pinkie.  Ponies are looking.

                   (pulls a mirror from her pannier and

                    checks her mane, then smiles)

          You should at least warn me before attracting their

          attention.

                                   APPLEJACK

          We earth ponies do just fine with the four hooves the Goddess gave

          us!

                                   RARITY

          Oh, you do amazingly well!  I have always wondered how you

          handle the ingredients for your baking, but... honestly, I

          didn't want to ask.

                                   APPLEJACK

          Well, I'm glad we cleared the air about that.  Good to know

          how my friends feel about me.  If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna

          go spend at least part of the day with somepony who respects

          me.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          Fine!

                                   PINKIE PIE

          Me too!

                   (thinks)

          This is gonna be hard.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Girls, please!  Let's talk this over... somewhere private.

                                   APPLEJACK

          I'm sorry, I'm an earth pony.  I only talk when there's

          something to be said, not because I like the sound of my

          voice.

                                   TWILIGHT

          I don't especially like the sound of my voice... It's a

          little bit nasal... Wait!

Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash all head offstage in different directions, angry.

INT. PONYVILLE BAR

Applejack and some earth ponies, talking over mugs of cider.

                                   APPLEJACK

          I never knew unicorns thought like that.

ON A CLOUD - DAY (DUSK)

Rainbow Dash is surrounded by other pegasi.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

          And she was angry at me!

INT. PONYVILLE DANCE CLUB

Pinkie is heads-together with several earth-pony mares, eyeing the unicorn DJ suspiciously.

                                   PINKIE PIE

          And then they eat them!

                                                              TIME CUT:

INT. LIBRARY - DAY

Twilight and Spike head downstairs together.

                                   TWILIGHT

                   (to Spike)

          It didn't sound so bad inside my head.

                                   SPIKE

          Do you think they're still mad?

                                   TWILIGHT

          It's a new day, Spike.

                   (opens the door)

          I'm sure everyone has forgotten all about it.

                   (steps outside)

EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

An angry crowd of earth ponies mills about between Twilight's tree and the rest of the town, bearing placards that say ALL YOU NEED IS HOOVES, UNICORNS GO HOME, and I'M NOT TASTY.

                                   TWILIGHT

          Or not.