"Get back here and try these cupcakes I made for you!" the pink demon said as she throws a blue colored cupcake at the running target but only to miss and hit a passing Ditzy in the head and from how hard it was thrown I could have sworn I saw small stars circling her head.

"No! You almost killed me by shoving one down my throat! Get away from me!" and as I turned the corner I heard the sound of three squishy objects going splat against someones home, and turning to see it was three cupcakes but they were red, white and blue and I could have sworn that they had small star sprinkles on it.

"No! You will eat a cupcake and you will like it!" like hell I would enjoy those overly-sugary snacks, if I ate one of those I would be in the hospital for sugar overdose.

"Pinkie Pie stop assaulting him with cupcakes!" one of her friends said, not sure which one but for all I could care for at the moment I prayed that it worked but sadly it failed with little impact on the demon.

"I am not assaulting him with cupcakes, I am throwing party cupcakes at him! Now hold still Roran and eat a tasty cupcake!" I would love to eat one but you are throwing them at such speeds that I am afraid that if it hits me I would end up with bruises or worse broken bones.

"I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit!" its true, I don't get paid for dealing with crazy party ponies or eating their food.

When did my day go so wrong...oh...right....I told that Pink demon that I wouldn't eat her cupcake...my god why did she turn into a freaking psychopath hell bent on killing me with cupcakes and probably any other sugary snack.

Turning another corner I saw a large gingerbread building, hoping to lose her inside it and run out the backdoor if it has one and keep on running till I find a supposed abandoned house and hide it out till it all blows over. As soon as I opened the door the smell of sugary sweats, candy and cake hits me like a brick wall, the sheer amount of sugar in this place is enough to probably give Old America a run for its money.

"Holy shit....so much....sweets..." in my sugar-induced daze I heard the faint sounds of hooves hitting cobblestone which was my mental timer to stop dazing and get the fuck moving again and without a second thought I grabbed the door and shut it behind me. What I did not know at the time was that behind me was a line customers behind me along with the ponies that own the actual building.

Turning around to search for a back door I saw five ponies waiting for whatever pastry they have ordered and the two ponies behind the counter are just staring at me. The large copper toned pony spoke up first after picking his jaw off the ground.

"Erm...can we help you sir?" one of ponies behind the counter, a pastel blue mare with an absurd hairstyle said while holding a plate with I think lemon bars on top of it. How they manage to speak clearly while holding objects in their mouths will forever confuse me.

"Yes...does this place have a back door, I am busy running away from Pinkie. Please tell me their is a way out of here before that crazy pony chokes me to death with cupcakes!" I was pleading to the owner of the establishment and as soon as he pointed behind him I ran past him, opened the nearest door I could find and took one step in it to freedom but instead fell down a flight of stairs at ended up hitting my head on a sack of flour.

"Fuck my life..." getting up and dusting myself off of the powdery substance before running towards what I think is the closet that most restaurants have and my guess is that it was the cleaning supplies closet, and opening the door ended up with me being smacked in the face with a broom. The pain was only temporary but what came next was what drove the second to last nail in the coffin for me this week.

The sounds of a pony giggling behind me and the ominous sound of a lock being turned into place was the last of the dirt being pushed over a doomed man's coffin. Turning my head very slowly to see who it was, the faint color of pink curly mane, the world's most evil stare and grin, and the sounds of impending doom slowly approaching me and in that moment where someone can hear nothing but their heart-beating and the sounds of footsteps, in that moment I ran to the window that was at the level of the street and quickly tried to climb out.

What I did not know at the time was that their was two passing ponies on the other side and as soon as my head and arms popped out into the open world both of them screamed from the surprise but when I started to shout for help and to pull me out they both somewhat shrugged and bit onto my hands to try and yank me out of the basement. As they yanked on my hands to try to pull me to freedom I felt the pink demon bite down onto my leg and slowly pull backwards and with each pull I felt myself slip back into the basement.

"Oh god no no no no no no! Get me the fuck out of here! I don't care what I have to do or who I have to work for just get me the fucking hell out of here!" I was that scared shitless of the pink pony that defies everything not only because of the darker scary persona, but because she was trying to kill me with sugary snacks by force.

Within moments I heard the sound of something going crack and looking at the window frames they have begun to crack and weaken and with one last tug I was yanked back into the basement and before I could try and get up to run to the door to escape I felt something clamp down onto my left leg. Looking down at it I saw that Pinkie was somehow holding onto it and was not giving me a chance to flee, quickly scanning the room I saw nothing to use to my advantage except for one lonely cupcake to which she was holding on a plate, and on the cupcake was a strip of paper with my name on it.

Looking at her than toward the cupcake I was piecing everything together in my head and hopefully I was right about my very shitty guess.

"Would you let me go if I eat that cupcake?" I crossed my fingers and praying to anything at this point that she says yes. Just as she nods yes I quickly crawl to the cupcake, scraped the icing off and put it on the paper that was acting as the cradle and as soon as I put the cupcake in my mouth I had the desire to just gag and cough it up but knowing the doom that awaits me if I don't swallow it is probably a hundred times worse.

"Now you have to eat the apology cupcake." the fucking hell is that?

With my face all confused about what it was Pinkie somehow dragged me upstairs while I was trying hard to not puke up the overly sugary snack, my own body rejecting it and trying to force out the body killing snack. Sitting on the counter was the largest fucking cupcake I have ever seen in my life, it was approximately the size of a watermelon and it had my name written on it in chocolate. I heard my stomach and body screaming out in impending pain and even my own thoughts were screaming out for me to just run away and not look back but figuring out how she found me would only make it worse on myself.

"That is the largest fucking cupcake I have ever seen in my life...well stomach...you got me through worst things before..." sighing deeply before going over to the cupcake, looking at it before I felt Pinkie shove my face into it and seeing how I am already face deep in pastry I might as well get it over with.

1 Hour Later

"Oh god.....here it comes again.....blug....blruuuuuuuuugh!" I made that toilet my bitch after finishing that dreaded monster of a cupcake and than my stomach doing a complete flip-flop forcing me to rush to the closest toilet their was, unfortunately said toilet was back at the library and making a mad dash through the town while holding my stomach and not puking in mid-stride. Halfway to the salvation of the porcelain throne I bowled over an unsuspecting Twilight Sparkle who at the time was being followed by her assistant which at the time carrying scrolls, quills, ink and even a large book almost the same size as him. When I bowled over her I had no idea who was on the other side but as soon as I was falling down everything went into slow motion, Twilight was slowly falling to the ground, Spike was just shaking his head sadly fully knowing what is going to happen and I was busy trying to not ruin the scrolls with my stomach contents and the dirt from the floor.

After we hit the ground I quickly grab the scrolls, dusted the book off and ran straight to the library and upon entering the building I threw the scrolls by the check-in book and ran straight up the stairs and got to that bathroom, locked the door behind and let rip.

It has been only 15 minutes when the ponies that are considered my 'friends' came over to check up on me but at each attempt to see me and also to console me or even provide with some sort of stomach medicine just to kill the pain that I am going through was rejected over the sounds me just puking my guts out. 30 minutes into the worlds worst stomach crushing vomit coaster I was on the verge of just grabbing a water hose and doing a half-ass stomach pump just to get rid of the beyond sugary treat I was forced to consume to please the demon in pink.

After an hour as passed there was a knock at the door and an eventual jingling of the knob being moved until I heard a click as it slowly swung open revealing to the ponies that I was exhausted, face first into the sink with water pouring over my head and that the smell in the room was just terrible enough for one of them to quickly open a window just to vent it all out before gagging and leaving the hall to some part of the tree to breath clean air again.

"What the fuck....why was that damn thing so sugary.....never again...." between each set of words I was drinking water, swishing it around my mouth, gargle it than spit it back out before grabbing a bar of soap and brushing it on my tongue until the taste of sugar cupcakes was gone. After washing and soaping the taste out of my mouth for greater part of 5 minutes I dried my face off with a wash cloth and prayed that the demon was not behind me amongst the ponies that did just try to kill me with a giant ass cupcake. Sadly I was wrong yet again.

Taking a look at Pinkie I saw that she was, I think giving me an apologetic smile of sorts but I was having none of it and as soon as I started to walk toward her she slowly began to backpedal out the door and once I was out of the bathroom she ran down the stairs with me in pursuit. I was not going to let her get out of this shit that easily.

As soon as she ran out the front door I stopped to give her a fifteen second head start and to get my song going for the hunt. Tapping my omni-tool to soundtracks and going through the list I found what I was looking for.

"Play Search and Destroy File #2...starting....now!" as I said now I sprinted off after the pink mare that almost killed me with in the most humiliating way that I can think of, with food.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=KUS_N7-ukJM]

And the chase was on.

3 Hours Later

How the hell did I lose something that is neon pink and is always bouncing and moving around as if she was on the worlds biggest sugar high and not once came down to earth for a refill. I swear she must be on some sort of drug or something and if she was that made her happy on the time than she better hand that shit over cause I am on the verge of just ripping what little hair I have on my head off. Turning to the next house I began my usual searching method which was to thoroughly scan the area, see if it has any abnormalities and if it did than I would begin to shoot singularities at it till it pops out or the little pink demon shows up and tries to escape.

It has not been working so well in these last 2 and half hours, the last thirty minutes was just plain hell for me since she sort of can out run me and also has this habit of being behind me and tapping my shoulder making me turn my head to see who was catching up to me and was dexterous enough to even tap my shoulder while sprinting at the same time.

"MY god..." coughing raggedly since I haven't had any liquid in my system after the vomit attack and the sprinting was not one of my bright idea's when it came to chasing something that moves on four legs and can leave an after-shadow at will. "If that mare was human....I bet she can easily beat the Olympics with ease.....and be like lightning under the bed sheets....man....that mare can move..." In this world their is only three things I hate above the everything else, being stuck in bed sick, losing, and being in debt to anyone but myself or Satan himself and that mare just made me lose for not being able to find her location.

Looking at my omni-tool to see what time it was and knowing the response it would give would beeping noise and saying that it requires new data to come up with a response, I shut the thing down and just stared at the clock tower till I saw that it was currently 1 in the afternoon and that every single pony out working and doing their daily business but for me it was hunting down a pony that is to me the master of hiding and most likely a ninja as well.

Going to what I think was the town's park and sat down on a bench that was to low for me to sit properly which forced me to sit down in a lounging position that is ungodly uncomfortable and also that the fillies and colts can just go under my legs if I was not paying attention and if my legs were arching. Catching my breath from the hunt and failing to get the pony responsible for the rude awakening of my stomach which is demoralizing but was good for me because now I know that exercising still sucks ass even in this new era. The sound of metal wheels on stone and the sounds of a motor in the distance got my attention since I thought there was no technology to even make a gas engine but as it got closer I had to rethink my life purposes and also where to find mechanic tools and a pack of cigars and some meat cause these meals of leafy greens is fucking terrible.

Keeping my eyes on the horizon I saw the strangest of things I have so far ever seen on this planet and I have seen many strange things on Earth. I saw a small pegasus, wearing a helmet, riding a scooter while pulling a red wagon with two ponies sitting in it while also wearing helmets and the sound of the motorized engine was in fact the pegasus wing's beating so fast it reminded me of a Humming Bird but this really takes the cake. As the three started to get closer I saw that the one doing the pulling was orange and had what I think is rather lavender or a very strange purple, the white one I can now tell was a unicorn and had two-toned hair which was both a shade of lavender, than their was the yellow one with red hair which I can now say is still my favorite color, next to black because if you wore anything bright on Omega your ass would have been mugged, shot or both.

As they got close to about 10 meters I saw something I probably did not want to see happen to children of any species. When they hit 9 meters the one in charge of driving the scooter hit a rock or something and pool-vaulted over the scooter, did a complete flip in the air and landed with a sickening crunch and as soon as that one fell the other two followed in pursuit and almost like a cartoon show gone wrong. The sounds that came after the crash was what got me to stop thinking of what could of happened to them if they gone around the rock, getting off the bench and moving at a brisk pace to the scene of the crash and I saw what was by so far the worst scrapes and rug burns I have ever seen.

The shit I put up with as a soldier is annoying at times but seeing children hurt or alone is what really tugs at my heartstrings, that and watching the last piece of ham disappear off my plate.

By the time I got to them they were crying and holding onto the spots that hurt and calling out to their parents for help and since there are no ponies around and that being alone in a park with injured fillies will most likely ruin whatever reputation I have along with whatever hope of reputation I can get in this town without getting hurt or killed. As they looked up at me I did what any responsible adult would do in the moment they are comforting an injured child after an accident or that they hurt themselves doing something ungodly stupid.

"Are you alright? Do you need any help?" I was praying that they know where the hospital is cause I got no fucking idea where pretty much anything is besides the library, the barn and now the sugary snack shack. The response I was hoping for was no cause if they knew exactly where it was than these three must have been doing stupid shit for far too long or are just not very lucky.

"Yea...we do know....its that a way..." Erm.....I like a little bit of directions for my directions.

"Alright than, any of you hurt and if so how bad does it hurt?" My response was groans of pain and even a whimper from one of them since I don't even know the full extent of their injuries and problems.

Picking each one up gently, placing the pegasus on my head since she seems to be lighter than the other two and that in theory that she is indeed lighter, my guess that pegasi are like birds since they must be light for their wings to even lift them off the ground let alone carry them for prolonged flights. The unicorn I can tell just looks like the unicorn at the royal party when I was first free....what was her name again....Rachael....R.....eh fuck it...yellow one on the other hand...or arm in this case with the way her voice sounds like, is probably the orange normal pony's sister or cousin.

Going off in the direction that the little pegasus pointed at, which I can say is pretty damn lucky or just that I need to spend my time exploring this town and get a feel for it...or just create a map on my omni-tool to save time.....fuck it I'll just do both.

Ponyville Hospital, 5 Minutes Later

"So let me get this straight....you three just got out of school and decided to go straight to your clubhouse with all possible speed....without even caring that you had homework to complete...all for the sake of a tattoo on your flank?" All three of them nodded as I spoke to them while a nurse was putting bandages on the scrapes. "Well I give you an A+ for determination to get your mark and also an A for going pretty damn fast on that scooter while carrying two friends and a wagon." the orange filly seemed to have beamed with joy at my praise of being able to haul ass while carrying two heavy friends and a probable just as heavy wagon.

"But you get an F for safety and just plain sad face for not slowing down when entering a public area...like come on, is getting your marks really that important?" I crossed my arms at them, and gave them the stare of contempt for even doing such an act without taking any precaution or thought as to what could of happened to them. Sighing out of annoyance and also because I now know what it is like to be a parent, which to sadly say sucks ass and is alot of work but than again being able to do the finger wag and also the stare that says 'Oh...he/she is that stupid...' and I know I have been given that look by at least from two officers and a council member.

As if on cue the nurse left the small room we were in, shut the door behind us and walked off which to me is slightly odd since I was going to follow her out and ask if there was any paperwork for me to do but as I turned to walk to the door I was than tackled by three small ponies who not only surprised me but also made me wonder if I just angered them for saying if it was that important.

It was that important to them apparently.

The orange one, apparently known as Scootaloo...'Scooter...Scootaloo...my god I am doomed to die here on this god forsaken rock...' was giving me a glare that would have made the near non-existent wills break down in fear, but for me I thought it was fucking adorable.

"Oh don't get mad at me little filly, you know would never do anything foolish to me while we are in this hospital...besides if you did than how would I be able to explain this to Celestia that I had to harm a foal for trying to inflict an injury upon me. That and you are just to damn adorable to do anything mean and spiteful to anyone." Right?

Wrong.

With that said she took a hoof of hers, raised it up and brought it down upon my chest and which to say didn't hurt in the least but what I still did not know was that each time she hit me only caused me to think that she is mad about the marks on these ponies flanks to be not important. Might as well spare her the time to cause me any harm by asking for an explanation or something...those hooves are annoying as hell.

Picking her up with my right hand I got up, making the other two just fall off, and placed the filly on the small bed and asked for an explanation on why is it important. On que the other two jumped onto the bed, seemingly putting on small cloaks with a symbol on it that I thought that three fillies wearing cloaks that makes them look like super heroes was enough to make me give out a silent D'aww but what came next made me wish for earplugs.

Fifteen minutes later I was just sitting on the floor cleaning my ears out trying to get the loud group yell out from my head. For three small fillies that are adorable in capes their damn voices are loud enough to probably break glass if they had a microphone and a loudspeaker but their explanation to me was somewhat quick, efficient, and above all else, it was awesome when they jumped at the same time and did a high-five.

"Well...I guess that make sense...rather not be a blank slate forever and have a clear-cut path in life...but still you should have taken it a bit slow so that hitting an obstruction would have only made you swerve a bit before regaining control. That and the way you make out Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as bullies sounds a bit.....far fetched. When you told me about the times they made fun of you....I will have a talk with them...if I can even find my way around this town." the looks on their faces when they said that I was basically lost have most likely gave them an idea which I will soon remember the most valuable lesson in the army, keep your mouth shut.

Ponyville, Market square

"And over there is Town Hall and right over there behind that tree is the flower shop and just right there is the...dentist office." ............what?

"This place has a dentist office? Where? All I see is a building that looks like a...tooth...wow that is highly original." I said with a groan. The one thing I hated when I joined the Alliance was the full medical check-up they give you and let me tell you something...getting your teeth cleaned hurts like a bitch.

"Ya'll talkin about the Dentist? It ain' so bad, they give ya a lollipop when it's done." yea...to rot your teeth so you have to come back again sooner rather than later.

"I have been to the dentist a few times when I was in the army....let me tell you this...don't move or squirm and ignore the pain and everything will be right as rain." I was straight up lying cause I know for a fact that it is one of the few ordeals that I would never want to endure but I know in the future it will happen.

Looking over at the dentist building I realized that the pony that was standing at the doorway was most likely staring right at me with the creepiest smile I have ever seen, and not once have I seen a creepy smile like that. That feeling you get when you know that someone is just staring at you and you can feel them just looking you over, I got that feeling but it was that and I can feel her just rather undressing me with her eyes or just staring at my teeth.

"How about we go somewhere else that is away from the dentist....does this place have a music store or something similar?" I asked while slowly backpedaling away towards the fountain, just doing anything to stay the hell away from that death trap of a building. At the mention of music I heard the sounds of hooves somewhat picking up speed towards me until I felt something tapping my shoulder, turning to see it was Vinyl and Octavia except that Vinyl was carrying a miniature turn-table while Octavia with a cello of sorts.

'Okay...how the flying fuck do they even have turn-tables? That requires electricity and other mechanical technology that is so far beyond these ponies...if this was an old relic of the past and she fixed it than she deserves the damn thing.'

"I heard ya wanted to hear some tunes and that you wanted to know where you can get it. Well just stop by our store and we can get ya hooked up in no time." at that moment I thought I heard the sounds of holy music and the sound of angels singing, I saw a slight golden aura around the two but it only lasted a while till I realized that I was just tripping out because of the fact that I now have music to listen to, and from those turn-tables the best kind I was used to listening to.

My god send for techno music from a pony that has a vinyl record on her flank.

"Lead the way, I haven't heard any kind of music from ponies before, and I bet that your music does not stand to mine from my era." I laid down the challenge.

"Oh it is on metal man." and the challenge has been accepted.

Ponyville Music Emporium

As soon as I stepped into the store I was assaulted by juicy tunes and the sounds of sweet music, taking the second step into the shop I heard the bass drop and I knew that this straight up reminds me of Purgatory on the Citadel but alot more cleaner and actually sells things that I can use later on and not end up drunk on the couch or drugged in the elevator.

"My lord....this...its....its so beautiful....this place....I thought it would never exist in my life time...." tears of pure joy were starting to form on my face, the pure beauty of a music store that has modern day music in an era that is medieval will forever stay with my memories until something else from my past shows up to out do this.

"Well get used to it cause when I am done proving to you that my sick jams are way better than your grandma's dancing tunes than every pony will hear that my stuff is better than any music from the past." challenge accepted.

Looking at her I motioned for her to start playing her tunes, wanting to let her go first to be a gentlemen before I completely crush her with my own sick tasty tunes. About 5 minutes into her set she stops as it slowly dies down and ends. "Alright big man, your turn."

"Alright, just stay where you are and listen to this." tapping my omni-tool I go to one of Earth's oldest and yet still somewhat one of the best techno players that ever existed even in my time.

I cross my arms as Vinyl's jaw slightly drops, her shades fall down as well revealing her red eyes underneath and Octavia was busy covering her ears with two pillows to try and drown out the tunes.

"I believe I just won." Vinyl doesn't even acknowledge my remark or even bother to raise her lower jaw back up. Going over to her I put her glasses back up, closed her jaw than proceeded to walk over to the counter, picked up a small wooden guitar and walked out the door. Only ten steps out the door I was lifted off the ground and levitated back into the shop and was face to face with a still stunned Vinyl and a less than happy Octavia.

"I thought this was my prize?" cause I really wanted a guitar so I can play my tunes when I am bored and hopefully earn a living the old fashioned way instead of killing for fun, killing gets boring after a while unless your outnumbered, out gunned or just plain cluster-fucked.

When I was back at the counter Octavia just motioned me to put the guitar back and I do so reluctantly but when I was turning around to leave since I probably won't be allowed back into this place but when I heard her cough for my attention I saw that she was holding a much larger guitar, one actually meant for a human or my guess Discord if he shrank himself a bit...still wondering why he hasn't spoken to me in a while.

Taking the guitar I gave her a handshake of sorts, since hooves lack fingers and that she was finally happy to see that her friend was beaten by someone else with better techno music.

Ponyville Town Hall

Well I can now safely say this, even in this time period elected officials fall asleep while on the job. Cause as soon as I walked into the mayor's office she was asleep face first into the desk and was somewhat snoring out loud. In my position I couldn't even help it but start to laugh, cause had I known that this job was boring I would have just asked to wait till she was awake but since I wanted to know where my so called 'new home' was located I might as well ask the pony in charge. That or just walk around blindly until it was night time and find a house that is completely dark as hell with no life in it.

Waiting almost an hour in that room, just looking through books, reading old letters that were on her desk and even playing with that strange device that was five metal balls attached to a thin wire and if one end hits the center the one on the opposite side gets hit as well, but as soon as I went to mess with the duck that always dips its beak in a small cup of water and back up the sleepy mare woke up with a yawn before going back to sleep with a very amused smug grin look on her face. At that moment I did what I always do to sleeping people on the job, got a glass of water and poured it on her head and she woke up immediately.

"Yea...sleeping on the job...maybe you should just paint on your eyelids the colors of your eyes to make it look like that you are awake...and now...tell me about this house I was given here, seems like that Celestia gave me one but never really told me where it is." her response was something I would have never guess or even dared to have thought of.

"Your house is near the clock tower in town...." before going back to sleep...my guess she was exhausted from this job.

Ponyville Clock tower

When I saw my house I was completely surprised to actually find out that it was not near the clock tower, it was in fact 'the' clock tower itself and that thing was large, my guess four floors up and if my math skills have ever came to good use, ten feet wide and was I can clearly say fairly furnished with pony sized goods. The couch I can easily say would fit just me and a pony or three ponies...might have to get a much larger one later on, the coffee table reminds me of the ones in Japan but even lower to the ground, a grandfather clock in the corner of the room that looks exactly like my home. The kitchen was something that I would not have to fix, everything was oddly human sized, but when I went to look at the chair, written on it was 'From Gryphus' and than at that moment I realized I had griffon sized kitchen goods and pony sized living room goods....why can't everything be griffon sized for me, it would go so well for me to relax.

Going up to the second floor was a bit of a problem since the stairs was not entirely meant for my height so I had to slouch and slowly move up otherwise I would hit my head on the ceiling. This floor I can probably guess was the guest room or my room, there was two beds side-by-side and one was sadly pony sized while the other was a blessing from god human sized. I swore that these ponies were watching me because not only were they giving me pony-related furnishings but also a small book was on the bed meant for me, and it was about the history of Equestria...I was gonna just read what I scanned but a book would help...maybe.

Third floor...I can't even think it as a floor cause it was more like empty storage filled with crates and one of them was open. Trusting my instincts to just leave it alone I go back down to the kitchen to find something to gnaw on until I can get some actual human food or at least some damn fish but when I got back down I saw someone I rather not see for a while.

"So how are you enjoying your new home that my mentor gave to you as a gift? I helped pick the furnishings and the books." of course you helped with the books...no wonder why I found so many information books on so many things that I currently do not care for.

"Well...new home is nice, near the middle of town, has a nice breeze when the windows are open, the bed is actually my size and also that the third floor would be perfect for what I have planned for it. Now all I need is a cellar and I am set...and maybe a couch that I can actually lay down on without having my legs hang off the side but other than those two this is pretty damn nice." I said while trying not to cringe at the sigh of what was in my fridge.

Inside was nothing but sugary snacks hanging on the fridge door, in the small compartments was fruits and other greens, above that was a brightly colored array of drinks, a few of them remind me of soda bottles while one of them looked just like a regular bottle of water. Haven't had a single drop of water yet I decided to go with water but when I took my first sip I knew something was wrong, it was fizzy, it was sugary, and it tasted like watered down juice.

"Oh right, I forgot to mention that Pinkie Pie was the one who came over to put some of the left over party snacks into the fridge, Fluttershy with the healthy greens and Rainbow Dash brought over her soda and sports drinks." So that explains the god awful after-taste...

"Well...tell Fluttershy thanks for the food, Pinkie Pie to stay away from me for a while, and tell Rainbow Dash thanks for the soda...." and when I turned back to the fridge I ever so quietly spoke to myself "...I sure as hell need a taste of home when it is clearly gone and into ashes..." turning back with a bottle of orange soda in hand "...but to keep the sports drinks out, they got some strange after-taste that I can't seem to enjoy. Just the soda would do next time she does this." I fucking hate sports drinks...

Going back to my fridge I saw something I have been dying to taste again for a long time.

"Is that...is that what I really think it is..." I said while drooling a bit and staring wide-eyed at the desired item in the fridge.

"Oh you mean the apple fritters that Applejack left for you? Yes but why do you ask?" oh this is gonna be good.

"Because those things are fucking amazing and I have almost literally killed someone just to eat one of them...so yea apple fritters are badass and I must now go find Applejack and thank her...right after I finish these fritters...." and so began the first great massacre of the apple fritters of Ponyville.

1.5 Minutes Later

"I still can't believe that you just did that..." said a very disappointed Twilight.

"What? I told you how much I love them, that came in the standard soldier rations except it was cold and bland, this was not only fresh but hot, steamy and tasted like freshly plucked apples. For the love of god I need more!" there was one problem when I ever eat apple fritters that are fresh, I get the worst case of the munchies and get the craving to go out, find more, and straight up decimate them with extreme prejudice.

"Well looks like you would need a job than, try asking around for one but in the mean time you have questions to answer and from a letter that Princess Celestia sent to me, you have to answer them honestly and truthly and also answer them to the best of your abilities." well fuck, I rather not do a questioning today...

"And she also said that you have nothing better to do for many months since winter is coming so answer our questions or...not sure what she wrote but I guess she has a task for you." answer the questions of six mares and a baby dragon, or do a task for a princess that has a smile that can most likely make me do the task, and of course magic that can rip me in half like the Geth Hunter.

"Fine...but first where is Kara? She seemed to have vanished on me back at your place." in truth I haven't seen her all day long.

At first she seemed to shrug at my question and kept trotting along but what I failed to notice was that it is getting colder and by colder I mean the temperature took a total drop and was freaken cold. The first thing I did was move at a more brisk pace, moved my arms more while walking and also opened the door and closed it behind Twilight as we got to her place, outside the weather slowly got cloudy and the first thing I noticed was that the leaves on every single tree was orange or brown, than my internal clock went off and told me it was Fall.

"So Twilight...I have a quick question." she nodded at me after writing something in a large book near the door, "Is today the beginning of Fall weather and is Winter coming up?" I crossed my fingers cause if it was than I can finally put my plan of making snowman into action. Her response was of mixed confusions until I told her the season where the leaves fall down and it gets colder till it starts to snow, birds go south for the winter and the weather becomes a bitch to those with no fur or coats, eg. me.

"Oh yea, I was a bit confused about some things of what you said, the leaves don't fall on their own, and we help with the ending of Winter when it is time." okay...so it seems that these ponies control not only the weather but also the seasons...well I can now clearly say that I am fucked.

As we both entered the main room of her tree home I took notice of something that was very odd, her couch. At the party it was gone and no where to be seen, when I came back to report the mission was a success it was right there in the corner, and right now it was on the other side of the room with Spike and Pinkie Pie sitting right on top of it. Before I opened my mouth I stopped and just thought of what they would say and came to a conclusion, this world is trying to mess with my head. The other mares were sitting on cushions while Kara, who was looking at me with the maddest of eyes, was wearing a frilly dress and some light blue lipstick. I almost burst out laughing my ass off at that sight and calming down to a regular state of mind, without laughing or thinking of ever seeing that sight I turned to face Spike so he knows that I was about to speak up, since he was holding a quill and a large ass scroll.

"Sooooo....ladies...Spike, you all had questions you wanted to ask me? Well, now is your chance but remember this, nothing to private about my life and we all get to walk out of here happy and not missing any limbs. You got it?" there nods of approval and one Pinkie repeated nod of approval was all I needed, Spike just sat there and shrugged at me. I can tell we are gonna be the best of brofriends.

Well lets get started shall we...

Author's Note

For the next chapter, I would like you, the people, to put down some questions that you would like answered, I just might use them.