Salvation through Harmony

Looking at Discord with one eye while looking at Celestia and Luna in the other I began my internal through process while trying to figure out how to not piss off three beings that can reduce me into a pile of ashes. Looking at Discord I saw that he was holding two ice-cream cones and each one was holding something different, one was rainbow colored but had a bite mark in it while the other was a purple cloud with white dots in it which also had a bite mark, than taking a look at Celestia and Luna I saw that their hair was gone. Looking back and forth at their bald heads to the cones I burst out laughing while holding my sides so I wouldn't hurt myself from excessive laughter.

"Discord please don't tell me that what you are holding behind your back is their hair turned into ice-cream." he only smirked at me when he tossed Celestia's hair at me which I caugh with my right hand and experimentally took a small lick and immediately coughed and spat in response.

"Dude...this tastes horrible...why would you want to even eat hair flavored ice-cream? I was expecting it to taste like rainbow sherberd not rainbow shitberd." I was partially gagging as I threw the god awfual ice cream at Celestia which to my somewhat partial amazement caught it with her head and just like that it turned back to normal hair.

"So let me get this straight...Discord...buddy...friend....after you got out the first thing you did was to turn these two's hair...into foul tasting ice-cream..." he nodded at me before teleporting behind me, using me as a human meat shield. "Discord that is the dumbest idea I have ever heard and put into motion and trust me I have seen, heard, and even done some of those stupid ass ideas...now stop using me as a shield, there are only two people that can use me as a shield and so far both are dead so stop it now before you get a heavy boot to the royal jewels." my threat went unheeded so as I raised my right foot to about two feet in the air, angled at 45 degree's than brought the hammer down and as it was travelling to meet its fleshy target the sound of air being sucked out and than sucked back in was all I heard as my foot hit a brick wall, going through it but getting stuck in the process.

"Seriously dude, give them back their hair and apologize...afterwards go to my room that I was given, and you will follow my orders or I will beat you within every inch of your life and trust me those four thousand years of listening to you talk almost made me want to find a way to kill myself when I was still a statue." and I was not joking when I extended my omni-tool and pointed it right at his skull. He gave a huff and snapped his fingers, the other ice-cream cone flew to Luna's head, stuck there for a moment before falling to the floor as Luna got her hair back, than before Discord could apologize he does a little prance and vanishes into thin air.

I just looked at the spot he was at than to the princesses before shrugging and deactiving my weapon and took a stroll to the window to see if he was outside, and what a view I got as I saw everything on display at the gardens, there was so many statues and hedges that I gave up and just called it an 'Ancient England garden' and went to the throne and was about to sit down until I heard the cough of not one but two alicorns who were just giving me a stare that I read as 'Do not sit down if you value your flank' and knowing that I care for my ass, since there is a tattoo there that I love to show off when I am drunk off my ass.

"So...that was the reason why you brought me here? To get your hair back?" Luna nodded but Celestia just stared at me with contempt, "You want him gone but on a leash don't you." she finally nodded.

"Well...my people created restraints for those that are overly powerful physically and also for those with biotics...but putting it on Discord would most likely result in it being turned into a ring of flowers....or silly string." I sat between the thrones as they both gave an unreadable stare but only gave the slightest of shrugs before returning to their respective throne and sat down.

Looking at the door from here was like waiting for a meeting with the Council or while waiting to use the bathroom at Chora's Den, that line is always fucking long. Getting off the floor I started to walk to the double doors but as I took only 10 steps I heard Celestia speak up.

"Since you managed temporary pacify Discord, for what its worth which is alot more than we have ever done..." I snorted and thought of a few reasons why "but for now you may stay here if you like, we are still studing the ancient pieces of technology we recovered from that building you were in and managed to turn on a machine of sorts with a shield painted onto its surface but it has locked down when we tried to open it. We could use your help with it if you are able to." I know that I could refuse her but than again pissing off a princess that I saved is probably never a good thing, expecially if that princess can yank a geth into a pair of legs and a torse with arms.

"I will see what I can do...usually I just force things open if it was locked or in a few cases, blew it all to hell with explosives to fix the problem. So...since I am here I do have a single question....where is the mess hall for the guards? I feel like knowing where they take their daily meals...and maybe grab a bite to eat as well." before Luna had a chance to speak up a shoe-covered hoof was placed over her mouth as Celestia spoke up.

"Thank you for your assistance on these matters and why would you go to the barracks when we had prepared lunch for us and the delegates from the Griffon Kingdom." she said while still wearing her warming smile, I tried to take another step but thought against it since I had a few thoughts that would probably end with me hearing an earful of words from one or both of them.

"There is nothing I can say or do to get out of this gathering is there?" Celestia just stared at me with those eyes of hers that can only mean 'you are going to this function and be responsible', I responded with an explosive sigh and looked out the window.

"When is it so I can try to find something suitable to wear cause the last time I went to any important meeting I had to wear formal versions of my uniform." and the difference from my formal and normal uniform was that the formal was clean, shiny, steam-pressed, had all of my medals and awards and also had no blood on it.

They told me that the delegation meeting was in three hours which was enough time to explore the parts of the castle I hadn't managed to explore since my last trip here was a bust since I took a high powered round to the back and was also running from an angry princess and her guards, but the look on her face when I did it was totally worth it. About five minutes into my wondering of the halls I saw the all to familiar Shining talking to a guard and as the two were talking I slowed down on my approach and tried to stealthly come up behind him, which it would have worked if the guard that was being talked to didn't look at me and gave a salute which confused the hell out of me and Shining Armor at the same time.

"You know...when I am trying to sneak up on a pony you would usually let the sneaker do it so we can all get some laughs...but anyways Shining, how are you and how is your hoof?" I said while looking at it and I saw that the cut was gone and completely healed but a faint scar was there, a chip of his hoof was evidently gone from where the blade touched it.

Before he gave an answer I saw his wife coming up from down the hall and from what Twilight has said about her, since her special talent is love, which I will never...ever let her near me cause I fear that if she tries her talent on me I might just break something fleshy and made of meat.

"Cadence, nice to see you...well I am just going to return to my walk to my room...nice seeing you two." and just before I took my liberating step to freedom I felt a hoof poke my back and as I turned to see who it was connected to I was tackled into a hug by Cadence and than later Shining, the guard he was talking to just stood there and shrugged when I looked at him.

That hugged felt like it lasted for hours but when it was done it was actually 15 minutes, not that hugs are bad and all but come on fifteen minutes? That was longest fucking hug I was ever in next to the longest hand-shake which lasted for 10 minutes because we were doing a secret code with our hands and to those that were watching, it was funny as hell.

When they broke the hug I was busy trying to contemplate on what just happened but decided it was a pony thing and just shrugged it off. "You know...that hug was unneccessary, a simple thank you would have worked." Cadence gave me that stare that most women gave to men when they say something stupid or it makes sense but they don't want to be wrong.

"I know that Roran but you did save my aunt from a murderer..." which is true I can say, the geth were never really liked since the Eden Prime War and even when they helped us with the Reapers but still... "...but there is something I have been meaning to ask you." I put a hand to my chin, rubbing at my thin beard as it began to grow back as I nodded at her to continue.

"From what I heard from a letter that Twilight sent I heard that your people had magic of sorts and that it was all based on your mind, and she was wondering if you can let us take a look into your memories so we can find a way to-" I cut her off before she can even go further with her plan.

"Ha ha no, you can not look into my head to dig up ways to learn Biotics, you have better luck at getting me to find a Reaper and ask it to join us for a tea party." I was being sarcastic about the tea party with a Reaper but was not letting any pony near my head, to many memories that I like to keep to myself and Discord since I practically spent that time talking to him for so long I grew to trust his word, even though if it was constantly being changed to the most strangest of subjects.

I looked into her eyes before walking to my room but left giving her one last remark.

"Don't even try to dig into my memories, they're things in my head that I will take to my grave and I know that if I even feel a single speck of any of you searching my head for the basics of Biotic training, I will snap your horn off and eat it in front of you." in truth I have no idea how strong those things are stuck to their heads or how it would taste like but than again from what Discord said it tasted like chalk candy.

As I walked to my room I noticed a great deal of things was off, first was the door as it was a giant ass KitKat bar, the door knob was a chocolate sprinkled donut and the doorframe was made of Snickers. Second was the floor and walls near the door looked like pink and green checkered prints, and also that the ceiling was made of grass. The last thing I noticed was that on the door was a sign that said 'Enter at your own desire but leave at my risk', which I thought was fucking confusing but shrugged it off and entered my room, the first thing that came to my mind was...

"What...the fuck... did you you do to my room!" I shit you not, it looked just like the old child's game 'Candyland' and I kid you not I was on the fucking candy road with a very amused Discord sitting ontop of a throne made of candy-canes and lollipops.

Discord looked at me as if I had offended him in such a way that would be seen as overly offending but in all seriousness he just smiled darkly at me as I just stared at him, then at the crazy ass room and now at the ceiling, which was now dripping with choclate icicles.

"Okay dude....seriously...this shit just got strange real fast, turn my room back to the way it was and calm the fuck down. I rather have one god upset than have two at ones throat while one of them is trying to beat me to death with whatever the fuck he wanted to use while being strangled." knowing to whom I was talking about he gave a deep sigh and snapped his fingers safely returning my room to its original decor and standards, which oddly came with a giant bunkbed.

"I call dibs on top bunk." "Dibs on top." Guess who said what?

"Coin flip to see who gets the top." I pulled out a coin from my pocket, which oddly was golden in color and when I was about to flip it I noticed it was heavier than what most coins were back on Earth since I found a few old world change. On Earth it was always someones heads and some random rear picture, for these coins it was the sun and the back was the moon which not only made me guess that these ponies print their own currency, but also was the one with the dominating currency currently available.

"Fuck it...sun is me, moon is you." I flipped it and let it hit the floor. The outcome is the same without fail.

"Yes!" Discord shouted and teleported to the top bunk with a sadistic glee on his face.

"God damn it..." I shouted while trying to throw a nearby book at Discord before he vanished into thin air.

After we got cozy with are living arrangements I found myself wondering why I was even thinking on who gets what but whenever I was at a barracks or a encampment I was always the unlucky fucker that got the bottom hammock or worse had to sleep in the same tent with some bastard that snored so loud that it was like a saw was cutting down a tree. Looking at the bottom of the top bed I grinned evilly to myself as I got out and picked up a chair and went to the door.

"Hey Discord? Wanna help me mess with Celestia a bit, I got an idea." at the words 'mess with' and 'Celestia' in the same sentence he instantly got out of his bed and was by my side at a perfect one second. As soon as he got within earshot I started to tell him my plan and what his role in it was, and just as I told him where it was going to take place he began to do the same chuckle he always does whenever something very evil or this cause downright rude.

"You do know that old Sunbutt would punish mostly you than me when this kicks off, but than again I bet it has been sometime since she had any sort of fun in all these months I was a lawn decoration for her garden." he muttered while trying to keep his excitement at a shallow level as we do not want any of the servants or guards catching wind of our devious plans. As I told him my plans I also told him that I would need to go back underground to pick up a little present for the princesses and for whoever is coming to this

From what old Discord told me was that him, Celestia and Luna used to the best of friends until some shit happened and he snapped, went crazy and sent the world into the crazy blender and cranked that bitch to maximum blending, the end result was some thing that I thought was just a myth like the cockatrice and the ever so legendary cotton candy cloud. From what I read in my spare time while I was patching up the first time, I noticed that only alicorns had both wings and horns but unlike them, the changeling I saw back at the 'old' Diamond Dog lair also had both but was way smaller and also looked like it was starving and was insect like, so whatever Discord or whatever larger threat came after turned whatever alicorns into the changelings...which reminds me of how the Reapers turned humans into Husks and other species into their counterparts....

Reapers here before...that is never good.

Canterlot Palace, Dinning Hall, Afternoon

Celestia's pov

"It is so good to see you again Lord Raven and Mistress Oro, we are expecting the other delegates to arrive shortly along with my sister." I said while giving glances to the guards and to the servants as they assumed their original tasks, two of my solar guards talking about recent assassination that failed while the two griffon delegates were talking about a strange creature who saved another griffon lord's daughter from captivity. As the two began chatting the door opened up to reveal my sister and following closely behind her was the delegation for the Diamond Dogs and the Zebras, and as the door began to close it was pushed back open as Captain Shining Armor followed by his wife Cadence and behind them was the delegation for the dragons.

"Well Princess Celestia I do believe that is everypony that will be attending this years conforence, shall we begin?" the captain said as he sat down near the dragon delegates, both of them were small enough to fit in the rooms and slightly larger than the provided cushions but was somewhat pleased to actually sit on something soft for once.

As I looked at all the different delegates I saw that my human friend was no where to be seen and as I started to make motion to summon one of the guards over to me I heard the whistling sounds of something flying in the air at a high rate of speed.

Just as I turned to face the general direction of the oncoming sound a large form of brown shot right through the doors and crashed into the pillar right next to me.

"Discord? I thought Luna and I told you to stay in Roran's room until the meeting is over for the day." I said with a stern glare before turning my head to the sounds of a bipedal being coming closer before it was cut-off by Roran's fist flying down and coming down on Discord's tail making him explode into confetti.

"Oh hey everyone, hows it going?"

15 Minutes Earlier

Roran's pov

"Remember I need a Husk body still intact and active, this surprise I have will be perfect for Celestia, Luna, Cadence and Shining and whoever the fuck is at the meeting. If I pull this off perfectly than I will have something to watch in a prison cell while laughing my ass off as if I was criminally insane." I said while lifting up and moving incinerated or scrapped Husk remains out of my way as I walked back to the now fully burnt-to-hell bunker as I picked up anything useful and gingerly moved actual human remains out of my way.

"Discord...when this task of ours is over and the prank is done than I need your help to make a burial site for my people...and you will help me with this task, if you try to worm your way out of this than I will beat you within every inch of your life." I said while chucking a Husk corpse onto a pile of other Husks.

The truth was I could actually beat him within every inch of his life. Appearently what he told me was because of the chaotic energy within my body I am somehow magically able to cause permanent physical harm to him but otherwise I would have a pissed off punching bag that can distort reality at will and most likely turn my arms into a pair of wet noodles or to be even fucked up to me, turn my metallic arms into chocolate than melt them.

Yanking a dead Marauder up and checking it over I took its still intact and slightly soot-covered head as a trophy and tied it to my thigh and continued on my search for a perfectly clean Husk head that was still working.

Moving over to more charred remains of my fallen species I only grimmly shake my head as I can still see the scared facial expressions on their horrorified faces, their silent screams forever shown as it reminds me that I am still alive and they are not. Looking silently at body after body I saw my left hand shaking unsteadly as it gripped the bayonet of a Graal Spike Thrower...well what was left of the damn thing as the butt of the shotgun looked like it took a large ass bite. Yanking the blade from its attachment bay I placed it where my old spare knife used to be until it turned into a molten pile of slag while I was being glassed and held the grip of the shotgun in my left hand, still wondering if it can still fire or if it even works.

Looking around for my tool of untold pranking I found myself something close to it but was not even working, a perfectly clean Husk head that was out of juice and was dead on the floor looking at my feet. Kneeling down I picked up the head with one hand, gripping it from the skullcap and than smirked when the idea came to mind.

"Hey Discord!" he turned his head as he non-chalantly threw a used cigar behind him as it exploded with the force of a grenade sending the Husk pile I made all over the place.

"Remember that time I told you I once popped a man's skull with my bare hand?" He shrugs before cleaning his teeth with a talon, bored already.

"Check this out." and with a the smallest of grunts I have ever made I squeezed my right hand tight enough that the head imploded from the amount of pressure and force I placed upon it, the jaw falling to the floor as the supporting pieces crumpled inward from the crunch. I was grinning ear to ear from my old time memory of crushing Husk skulls and the occasional human skull that refused to pay Aria's 'protection' tax and tried to reverse the deal and screw her over.

Discord saw that grin and saw that my plan was now closer to being complete as I found another Husk head but was attached to the rest of its body but with absolutely no power, not even the flicker of lights in its eyes.

"Ready to go back to the palace and give old Celly a good time?" We both nodded our heads as he in an old timely fashion of a criminal made a false mustache appear and twirled one end of it while giving a halfass evil laugh. At the snap of his fingers from his lion paw I felt when I first teleported with that pony guard I felt like I was gonna hurl all over the place but now, the second time just made it unbearable.

Just as we teleported back into my room I ran to the holy porcelian throne, got a firm grip of the rim and let loose just as Discord started to create a large rubberband and a paddle for the plan.

"You know Ro-Ro you should have gotten used to having your body torn from one location and forced back into another by now, you have gotten over the smell of burning bodies and screams of dying beasts but you can't control your stomach when it comes to teleporting?" he said while smirking through the bathroom door as I rasied my right hand to give him the middle finger.

Three minutes and one long ass cackle of laughter later I removed myself from the warm hold of the toliet rim as I wiped the residue of shame from my lips as I got back to my feet and went to the sink to gargle the stank of defeat from my mouth, not wanting to offend any dignitaries while there.

"So Ro-ro, you all set for the plan or are you just going to stay looking at your mirror and say how pretty you are?" I turned my head to give him the meanest glare I can muster at the time, which in actuallity like I was having problems taking a shit.

"You have no right to call me Ro-Ro....and how the fucking hell did you even find out that Hilo'Jaa even gave me that pet name?...And if you call me that again I will just have to call you Dizzy from now on." I came up with that nickname on the fly but when I said that he gave me a glare I thought he was just trying to not laugh his ass off.

I was wrong.

"And you have no right to call me Dizzy, only one mare had that to call me that and we have hardly spoken to each other since that day." he crossed his arms and turned his back to me, I gave a shit-eating grin as I came back with a response.

"You mean Jill?" he gave me the most confused look I have seen since Katherine asked if I could help her remove her armor and that was not a pretty sight when my face took a armored fist to the jaw.

"You know Jill, look at your left hand, and turn it around." he did just that and when I went over to him I ran a finger to spell it out. His thumb and pointer finger, J. Middle finger, I. His Index and Pinkie finger, L L.

He caught onto it as he laughted a bit before yelling at me while throwing the paddle he created at me.

"Not funny Roran...not funny in the slightest..." he grumbled as he grabbed the rubberband and followed me to where the meeting was taking place.

"It was for me!" I yelled back as I grabbed the paddle and moved at a brisk pace down the halls.

10 Seconds Earlier

"Are you sure this would work?" said a very unease Discord who reved himself back into the rubberband looking right at me.

"Yea man, of course this would work, I saw it on an old show once...forgot what the name of the show was called but damn the shit those three got into was funny as hell!" I said while cocking back my arms, paddle in hand and ready to drop the hammer.

"Okay, on three."

"One." I got a firm grip on the paddle handle, the sounds of my fingers crushing the strong oak wood is music to my ears.

"Two." Moving my legs into an open stance, changing my center of balance to that of Spaceball players, and yes Spaceball is a real sport, like baseball but in space.

"THREE!" Discord yelled as he shot himself out of the rubberband and without the use of his wings flew at me like a bullet from a rifle, but unlike the bullet I smacked him right in the head with the paddle, making him go back in the same direction we were heading, and with the amount of force I used to hit him and the force he flew at me, the paddle exploded in my hands.

1 Second Earlier

Discord's pov

Boing!

"THREE!" As I yelled that I realized that I was going to be smacked with the paddle I created from a flower vase but it was to late to stop for I was a split second from a paddle to the beautiful face that is mine.

SMACK!

"Whoooooosh!" I said while in dazed flight towards the double-doors that was the delegation chambers as I went smacked into it head first, my eyes crossed as I saw one of old Sunbutt's royal guards look at me in shock before I slammed onto the floor with a silly grin plastered on my face.

"Hey Celly..." was all I can mutter before I heard the loud thuds from Ro-Ro's boots thudding down the hallway and only caught a glimpse of his figure in the air, and that glowing orange fist before I bursted into confetti and teleported back to his room to laugh off the pain in my head.

Present Time

Roran's pov

"Okay now that is out of the way..." I coughed twice before resuming "...now tell me Celestia, Luna...why exactly did you call me here? I can easily tell this is a delegation of every sentient species on Earth but why the flying fuck am I here cause being the only left means that I am more like a...what is that word...oh yea, exotic novelty item." I was looking at the delegates and I could tell that the Diamond Dogs were glaring at me, probably knowing that I am responsible for wiping out most of the dogs under Canterlot and for freeing more in the Everfree Forest. The Gryphon delegation were giving off a mixed response as I could tell that the one on dude was somewhat acknowleding my existence in a positive light while the chick that was with him gave me a grin that made me question whether or not to take a risk.

Turning my head to the dragon delegates was something more of a mistake since they just gave me that look that I was not worthy of their presence let alone their time. The zebra's were quite honestly the only group there that was particularlly amazed by my presence and have been giving me stares that seemed to be scanning every single part of my body which I was used to since I was a bit of eye-candy back on the Citadel when I was on shore leave.

Looking at Celestia she gave me a slight motion to sit down on the only chair that was available to me and I took it with a smirk as I sat down across from the gryphons and sat near Cadence and Shining, who is still giving me the stink-eye for not telling him how I used biotics let alone get anywhere close to my memories to find a way to use it. The dragons that were to my left just stared at me the entire time, unrelentlessly staring at me hoping that I would burst into flames from the intensity of the stares but being stared down by a pissed off krogan warlord, an Atlas mech, and even a fucking Reaper have made me relatively immune to the pissed off glares.

And for those that did not know the sitting order it was clearly like this:

Zebra/ Zebra Me Dragon/ Dragon
Celestia Blueblood
Luna

Dog/ Dog Gryphon/ Gryhpon Cadence/ Shining

Do not even ask me how my mind made that diagramm, when you grow bored for millions of years you learn how to use the parts of the brain that you just wanted to shitcan and replace it with something random or just have it labotomized.

"So.....Celestia," the prince cleared his throat while eyeing me, my guess he wanted me to use titles, fine than. "Princess Celestia," Blueblood smiled as he held his head high in snarky triumph until I brought it back down with my careless self, "what is this about because I have a tomb to construct to house the remains of my people and I have to recollect any and all remanents of my era of technology..." looking at both the dogs and at the gryphons with suspicion, "...before it falls into the wrong hands it ends up starting a war from technology and weapons that no one understands let alone know how to operate." I said while keeping my stares evenly balanced on the two since the books I looked into said that the zebra's are just like the ponies except lack magic and flight but instead use alchemy and others for their services as the dragons could give two shits to the technology of the past since they are content with what they got at the moment.

After a moment of silence and most likely deep thought Celestia spoke for what was exactly two minutes and thirty-four seconds of sheer boredom.

"Mr. Zidane, we are here to discuss the importance of trade routes, relations and above all else, keeping harmony balance." I gagged that balance since that got me something, a big red rod of death crushing me and turned me into cold stone.

An hour passed as they started talking about trade routes and at that time I decided to have a bit of fun.

"Oh Celestia, I forgot to mention this to you." I brought the mostly clean Husk head up from under the table and placed it on the table and everyones reactions was something worthy of my photo-album that was in the process. Blueblood was mortified by it and looked away along with Cadence, Shining had no clue to what it was and just stared at it, the dogs knew exactly what it was and both gave low growls of anger, the dragons saw it than at me and thought it was just a skull from my own that I found and cleaned it up and thought to keep it as a trophy, the zebra's saw the strange markings on it and thought it was used as a binding or something spiritual. What I did with it next was well worth the finger tip injuries.

"Remember that time I once popped a man's skull with me bare hands?" no one even bothered to look at me as I spoke up. Celestia was giving me the stare that I can easily tell was the same as a mother would use while she was yelling at her child for doing something bad or scolding them in public.

"Check this out." they can hear the sounds of the metallic skull creak and moan as the metal slowly bent buckled under the pressure until it exploded outward to the table as the jaw fell without its hinges and as its eyeballs fly out of its head and land in the soup container that was being held my a maid.

Luna was busy having a giggle fit as she watched it happen, the dragons had the look of amusement while the gryphons and dogs just sat their shocked to see me easily crush the skull of my fomor kind without sweating up a storm or even have a hint of regret for defiling someones body.

Three hours into the meeting I was half asleep and was busy tuning out the words of those speaking as I just stared off at the walls behind the female gryphon delegate, my eyes turned off since I was bored out of my mind and just wanted to go to my bed, lay down and catch a glimmer of sleep for an hour or two.

That beautiful dream was cut off when I felt something bump against my right foot, thinking it was someones paw or hoof accidentally touching me I dismissed it as I started to turn my eyes off until I felt it brush against the inner part of my right leg very slowly but as I started to look downward it darted away. Thinking it was just a test by the princesses I just turn my eyes off again and go back to just day-dreaming but when I felt that thing rub my inner thighs I quickly clamped my legs shut and caught the little bastard touching me, sadly the bastard was a tail and it ended in a bit of fluff before it yanked itself from my grip. These pants are to damn smooth and soft for me to get a firm deathgrip with my legs incase I ever had to stangle someone with my meaty legs.

An hour into the rapid assaults from someone's tail I started to count how many times it brushed my thights and very dangerously close to my royal jewels and club and so far I have reached one hundred and seventy-six times. I clenched one hand on top of the table as I brought up the Marauder head and started to polish that fucker for fun since it was going to serve as my alarm clock as soon as I can figure out how to do that particular task without having it activate and annoy me to death with the noises it makes when it was alive.

"And you think that this human's sword can easily cut throw the mythril plates that we mine out in the tundra north of the capital? Princess Celestia many ponies have said that they have a method or way to cut through it but each attempt ends in failure, what makes you think that his sword can ruin such a fine metal?" A challenge? Directed to my sword? Oh ho ho! Challenge accepted!

When I got up and took sword from its sheath slowly and started to slowly cut at the air, every single pony and non-pony in the room turned to the source of the noise and only saw my sword, and when guard came up with an sample of the mythril plate I slashed downward than switched the direction of the blade with a flick of my wrist as it came back upwards. In a second the plate was in four equal pieces as I put my blade back in its home.

"Well now that I proved you wrong sir...maybe we shall have a slight break from this talking, sitting in one place for prolonged periods of time for me makes me....twitchy with my hands, if you catch my drift." oddly they all knew what that meant.

Canterlot Palace, 2nd Floor, Diplomat Wing, Night

"Tell me that part of the story again Mr. Zidane, I find it to be very amusing and tasteful." Lord Raven said while chuckling loudly, finding my story with great pleasure as his counterpart found it to be quite boring.

"Okay, but try not to laugh to hard, I rather not have the pink demon come here out of no where and scare the shit out of me." I cleared my throat for a few seconds before speaking up.

"Round Two Assholes!" I said while telling him again the details of that one foolish Blue Suns platoon leader that was trying to reclaim the controls of the supply frigate that was heading to Terra Nova.

"Wrong Place, Wrong Time Motherfucker." was my reply before I set him on fire with a M-451 Firestorm and was laughing insanely as I watched him burn alive before kicking his still screaming body over.

As we reached his room he waved me farewell as he shut it behind him with a loud click. Turning to Mistress Oro she signalled me to follow her as she started to talk about how dreadfully boring these meetings were and how she wished she could have stayed behind back at the capital with the rest of her family.

"Well Miss. Oro at least you have a family, for me growing up as an orphan pretty much sucked ass since not a single person wanted to adopt me so I just ran away from the orphanange and just forged my own life at first in criminal activites." I said while holding the marauder skull in my hand, looking at it as its eyes seemed to look at mine.

"Oh you poor dear, such a shame to be left out in the cold and to take such a route in life...why if you were here you could have been easily adopted in a loving family, just probably one that would be wondering what you are first." her slightly caring response was all it took for me to almost shed a tear. Almost

"Well ma'am this is my stop, enjoy your stay while I go off back to the undergrounds to start working." I said while holding he door open for her and just as she walked in her tail brushed under my chin very slowly and the feeling of warm smooth fur was great at first until I realized that this was a different species, one I have not fucked before.

'Note to self, make a new list of species so I can figure out how I am going to fuck them and not get attached until I can somehow safely be happy.'

With my thoughts occupied with my sex-drive hungering for something new I had no idea that she had gripped my right hand and yanked me into he room and threw me onto the plush bed as she shut the door and locked it behind her. A large predatory grin was plastered on her face while I was looking at her with slight confusion.

"I heard stories that you have great amounts of strength and stamina...and that you are just like us gryphons with your hunger for meat and also your eyes of the hunter." her gaze turned into a more sultry stare as she took her time approaching me, wiggling her rear with each sauntering step forward as I just sat their as if I had my thumb up my ass.

Her eyes gleamed a bright shade of blue before shimmering to an emerald green and just as quickly going back to the ocean blue. I only thought it was a trick of the light at that moment of time.

What happened next completely surprised me.

This was something I did not have planned on my schedule for the day...