Cutie Mark Crusader Go-Kart
The quest for the Crusader mobile
By: Serindo
Scootaloo: “It’s perfect!”
Apple Bloom: “It’s stupendous!”
Sweetie Belle: “It’s… a disaster…”
The poor fillies look at their poorly build Crusader go-kart, wooden planks hanged from the sides, metal bars dropped from the bottom, the chewed up gum they used didn’t stick, and the painting on its side was not very artistic.
Scootaloo: “And it looked so cool on paper!”
Applejack: “Hey girls, what are y’all building out here?”
Apple Bloom: “Applejack, we’re trying to build our Crusader Go-Kart but our plans on paper just don’t match the results!”
Applejack takes a look at their plans and discovers why.
Applejack: “Here’s the problem, it just a drawing of yourselves driving the kart, a plan requires mathematics, critical thinking, and a hammer and some nails to hold things in place.”
Sweetie Belle: “We don’t have time to do the math; we do enough of that at school!”
Applejack: “Sometimes you gotta do your job during your free time if you want perfection. I’m sure Twilight has a book on construction you girls can take from her.”
Apple Bloom: “Great idea sis, to the library girls, CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AWAY!”
The three crusaders gallop to Twilight’s library and make their dramatic entrance!
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo: “WHEN DANGER IS A FOOT NEVER FEAR FOR THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ARE HERE!!”
Twilight: “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”
Scootaloo: “We said have no fear…”
Twilight: “OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”
Twilight is running around the library with a feather duster dusting the books, the coffee table, the walls, and even the three fillies’ snouts.
Sweetie Belle: “Spike, what’s gotten into Twilight?”
Spike: “Sorry girls Princess Celestia is paying Twilight a visit and as you can see…”
Scootaloo: “Can you help us then, we need a book on how to build a go-kart!”
Spike: “Oh sure no problem its right over here, follow me.”
Twilight: “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!!! YOUR HOOFS ARE TRACKING MUD!!! “
Apple Bloom: “We just needed a book on building go-karts!”
Twilight: "JUST STAND RIGHT THERE... DON'T... MOVE... A MUSCLE!!!"
Twilight runs to a shelf and pulls five different books down and drops them in front of the three fillies.
Twilight: “HERE YOUR BOOKS, TAKE THEM SO I CAN CLEAN!!! NO WAIT THESE BOOKS NEED TO STAY SHELVED TO LOOK PERFECT, I mean here take them… NO DON’T … Please take them… THIS PLACE NEEDS TO LOOK PERFECT!!!”
Spike then grabs the books and hands them to the fillies.
Spike: “Here girls, I’m sure Celestia won’t notice 5 books have been checked out of the library.”
Scootaloo: “Thanks Spike, good luck with the spring cleaning.”
Spike: “Please don’t leave me, take me with you!”
Twilight: “OH NO YOU DON’T YOU GOT A LOT OF CLEANING YOU NEED TO DO MISTER!”
Scootaloo: “Well crusaders we got the books, back to the tree house, CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AWAY!”
Back at the tree house the fillies try to make sense of the books, but the advance knowledge gives to much detail, and doesn’t show anything on building go-karts. One book showed on how to build muscle cars… but that’s not what they’re after.
Scootaloo: “AAHH, why can’t we find something as simple as building a go-kart!”
Sweetie Belle: “It’s like, they have all this information for adults on building an actual car, but nothing for us fillies! It’s like they never heard of go-karts!”
Applejack: “I think I can solve your problems. Seems in Twilight’s haste she gave you advance books, here this is a simple magazine I manage to grab before Twi kicked me out for my muddy hoofs.”
Apple Bloom: “Thanks sis now we just to figure out these mathematics, and I know just the pony who can help!”
The two fillies: “Fluttershy?”
Apple Bloom: “…No, Mrs. Cheerliee!”
Scootaloo: “Oh man, that means we have to go back to school…”
Apple Bloom and Sweety Bell minus Scootaloo who’s not to thrilled going back to school on a weekend: “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, AWAY!”
And so the three fillies rush off to the school yard hoping to run into their teacher. If anypony can help them with the mathematics it be Mrs. Cheerliee.
Cutie Mark Crusader Go-Kart
Chapter Two: Math!!!
By Serindo
To understand the strange measurements displayed in the magazine, the crusaders head back to school hoping that Miss Cheerliee is still there. The three charges into the class room and sound off with their motto.
“WHEN DANGER IS A FOOT NEVER FEAR, FOR THE CUTIE MARK CRU—“
Cheerliee: “AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH”
Scootaloo: “Not this again…”
Cheerliee: “Sorry girls, things are a bit hectic right now with the Princess coming to town.”
Sweetie Belle: “We notice when we met Twilight.”
Cheerliee: “Oh my, how is doing?”
Apple Bloom: “Remember when she went crazy when she was late for her letter?”
Cheerliee: “Yes I remember… oh dear, well she’ll okay… I hope.”
Scootaloo: “Why is the princess coming here?”
Cheerliee: “The Equestrian military is outside of town unveiling their new technology and the princess wants to make sure the equipment isn’t a waste of money.”
Cheerliee flips on the radio to the news station to listen in on the unveiling. General Pony Ken Sebben (leader of the entire Equestrian army) address the journalists and anypony listening.
General: “Thank you all so much for wasting your time and money for me. Today I like to expose myself, HA HA, and my new brand of high power weapons vehicles and engines that’ll prove in upcoming missions, HA HA… missionary, that’ll we will dominate any morons dumb enough to mess with me! My first invention is the Pony-ator! This little flea may look cute and cuddly but he’ll love and tolerate the crap out of the enemy… and by love and tolerate I mean blow their heads. He is made of the best material your little hoofs can get. Armed with deadly plasma rifles, rail gun, and a rocket launcher between his legs he will no doubt tear the enemy a new one! And most importantly, he makes a pretty good servent… DAMN IT ROBO I TOLD TO PUT CREAMER IN THIS COFFEE YOU SICKEN ME YOU LESSER CREATIVE MORE USELESS THEN MY PRIVATES, AND I MEAN MY SOLDIERS!”
Pony-ator: “Beep Boop, somepony kill me!”
Sweetie Bell: “Who was that?”
Cheerliee: “General Pony Ken Seven, one of the biggest idiots in military history. Remember our history lesson about the war against the Orcs? Seven was a Commander back then and sent thousands of ponies to their death trying to take ONE castle. He ended up just nuking the entire Orc capital… Don’t ask me how he managed to get promoted to General.”
Scootaloo: “COOL, we should see them!”
Apple Bloom: “First we need to build our go-kart, miss, Applejack gave us this magazine that shows how to build a go-kart but we don’t understand the measurements, can you help?”
Cheerliee: “Aww you three are building your own go-kart, that’s cute. Let me have a look at that.”
Cheerliee looks over the plans and simply explains what each symbol means.
Cheerliee: “Most of what’s displayed here are Lengths x Width.”
Apple Bloom: “Huh?”
Cheerliee: “Simple girls, can you get me three of those blocks from the play area?”
Sweetie Belle gets the blocks and hands them to her, Cheerliee also pulls out a long measuring tape that will help explain.
Cheerliee: “So here it says the side skirt needs to be 24 feet long with a width of 4 feet. We’ll pretend this block is bigger than that; we would use this measuring tape to determine how much we need to cut. It’s as simple as that, kids.
She moves to the choke board and writes the formal.
Cheerliee: “This is the basic formal on Length x Width and these symbols here (“) and (‘) that represent feet and inches. Hmm… but say you want a hole in the center of the block feeding a plasma tube through allowing atoms to flow through. And with the Half-life formal we can combined that with the sum of two particles…”
Miss Cheerliee gets over her head, her scientific studies get the best of her and she starts writing down a long algebraic formal, something that looks like a foreign language to the girls, Scootaloo’s brain dies out from complicated math. As if it weren’t bad enough.
Cheerliee: “And that’s how you can safely pass through the center of a black hole, as it is called the Even Horizon… oh uh sorry girls, I’m studying astronomy and I tend to let my studies get the best of me.”
Sweetie Belle: “Uh that’s okay we got the information we needed, thanks teacher. Lets go girls, CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS AWAY!”
Cheerliee: “Oh here you can borrow my measuring tape, I’m sure it’ll help you.
Girls: “Thanks Miss Cheerliee!”
Cheerliee: “Anytime girls… hmm, But what kind of equipment must the ship have to maintain the intense gravity?”
Miss Cheerliee continues with her Astronomy whereas the girls are off to build there go-kart. The girls have a plain and the tools.
Apple Bloom: “Hammer?”
Sweetie Belle: “Check!”
Apple Bloom: “Nails?”
Scootaloo: “Check!”
Apple Bloom: “High powered extremely sharp saw… yeah no pony is gonna touch that, normal saw?”
Scootaloo: “Check!”
Apple Bloom: “Alright girls we got the plain, the tools, lets build us a go-kart!”
Sweetie Belle: “With what?”
The girls notice they were missing the materials needed to build the go-kart and let out a disappointed sigh.
Scootaloo: “Wait, Miss Cheerliee let us borrow her measuring tape right? Why don’t we just go into town and borrow the stuff we need to build the kart!”
Apple Bloom: “But that’s stealing, Scootaloo.”
Scootaloo: “No we are borrowing stuff we’ll repay them later. I’m sure they won’t mind. Now we need some wood, a few metal bars, paint to look awesome, and something to power the go-kart!”
Apple Bloom: “Well we can get the wood, the bars, and the paint. But what do you have in mind to power the go-kart?”
Scootaloo: “I’ll tell you when we got the other stuff.”
The Crusader run into town in search of what they need, hoping that no pony would mind that they “borrow” their stuff to build the kart. What can possibly go wrong...
