My Boyfriend Pip

by 5u0myn0n4

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pipsqueak, Cozy Glow, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 7022

Somepony's got a crush on Cozy Glow, but who has time for that kind of mush? Who needs love when you have power, right?

Golly, that foal sure has been acting awfully nice to me lately. I wonder if he'd make a good king to sit by my side on the throne.
Love is in the air at the Ponyville schoolhouse after Cozy Glow starts volunteering to teach the students about Twilight’s school. The filly becomes the apple of several ponies's eye, but who has time for pointless antics when there is power to be obtained? Right?

Written for the Cozy Glow Short Story Contest

Prompt: That weird foal was being so extra specially nice to her. Rejecting the pathetic loser was going to be just the best!

Published 2020-08-21 01:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-21 01:50:01 UTC

A Not So Healthy Relationship

Friendship really is power! Once I deal with Headmare Twilight, there will be nothing stopping me from having more friends than any other pony, and being the irrefutable Empress of Friendship!

...But if I'm gonna trick Headmare Twilight, I have to be on her good side, and I mustn't let anything distract me. So keep doing her favors for now, make her think you're her little star student. Say, I wonder how those cutie mark crybabies are doing since they helped with those 'difficult' friendship lessons...

It was a lovely day at the Ponyville Schoolhouse. All the kids sat in their seats as Ms. Cheerliee lectured on about friendship. Her students relished in boredom. How could they have any fun when they knew Twilight's school was so close, and so much better in their eyes? Cheerilee was aware of this issue, so rather than try to take down the competition, earlier she talked with Headmare Twilight, and reached an agreement that they both agreed their students would adore.

"Now, I now some of you are still a little let down that there is no option to transfer from this school to Twilight's school of friendship." Cheerilee said.

The class responded by groaning, and expressing boredom.

"But I assure you, Twilight's school is for an broader and older demographic. Most of her students are either older, or from far away. You fillies and foals don't meet either of those criteria." Cheerilee explained.

"Ah understand, Ms. Cheerilee, but you don't have to keep explainin' it." Apple Bloom said.

"We already know Twilight won't take us in. Why do you keep bringing it up?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, it's quite clear that there is great anticipation from my students to learn friendship the Twilight way. So I talked it over with Headmare Twilight, and we both came up with an idea I think you're all going to enjoy."

"Go on..." Sweetie Belle said.

Cheerilee walked to the door and grabbed the hinge, ready to introduce her surprise.

"I'd like everypony to meet my new teacher's assistant, Cozy Glow!" Cheerilee exclaimed.

The door opened, and there she stood. The demon filly, queen of manipulation, good for nothing Cozy Glow! Well, as far as they knew, she was the ever so sweet, help, and gosh darn adorable Cozy Glow!

"Thank for the humbling introduction, Ms. Cheerilee." Cozy said. "I'll take it from here."

Cheerilee nodded affirmatively.

Cozy Glow flew on top of the desk, and began to lecture to the school fillies and foals.

*ahem* "Golly, thank you one and all for your attention. I know not everypony is as fortunate as I to have the opportunity to learn from Twilight Sparkle and her team of expert advisors directly. However, that's where I come in!" Cozy smiled and put her hoof in the air. "I volunteered to help you students learn an extra thing or two about the magic of friendship!"

The cmc were happy for their friend. The rest of the school room was also pretty cheery. Pip was swooned, and Diamond Tiara kept to herself...

"Ms. Cheerilee and Twilight agreed that it's best to share knowledge. But with two different schools with totally different curriculum, you ponies are missing out on Headmare Twilight's specialty friendship courses. And visa versa. But with me as your new TA, I'm here to share with you all the wonderful lessons I learned from Twilight's school." Cozy lectured.

After a long day of learning, it was time for everypony to head home.

"Thank you so much, Cozy Glow fer helpin' us." Apple Bloom said.

"I'm glad to hear that my big sister is doing such a great job teaching at Twilight's school." Sweetie Belle said.

"I wish I had more time to hang out with Rainbow Dash, but she's so busy with teaching now. I'm just glad to hear she's still thinking of me." Scootaloo said.

"I'm glad you all learned so much today. Well, it's the end of your day. I better get back and share what I learned to Headmare Twilight." Cozy said.

The cmc waved by to Cozy Glow, when all of the sudden.

*BONK*

Cozy bumped heads with-

"Hey! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE TROTTING YOU-" Cozy exclaimed, but she stopped herself.

Cozy bumped into and knocked down Pipsqueak. Knowing she had so many eyes on her, decided to lend a hoof and help him up.

"You ought to watch where you're going, mister." Cozy said.

"Sorry for bumping into you." Pip said. "But actually, you're just the pony I'm looking for anyway."

"Oh. What do you want?" Cozy asked.

"I just wanted to take the time to say thank you, Cozy Glow, for retrieving my kite." Pip said.

"Oh, you still remember that?" Cozy asked. "It was nothing extraordinary. Any old pegasus could have gotten your kite down."

"But it was your kindness that saved me that day." Pip said. "I'd love to get to know you better."

"Golly, um, what a nice gesture, but, I must be going." Cozy said, rushing off.

"Will you be back?" Pip asked.

"Of course. Weren't you listening? I'm your new TA! I'll be back tomorrow." Cozy said.

"Well, I think we should get together sooner than that." Pip said, blushing.

Cozy wasn't sure what he meant by that, so she mostly brushed off his comment.

At the front of the School of Friendship, Cozy was greeted by Headmare Twilight and Spike.

"Cozy Glow!" Twilight greeted. "Sooo... how did it go?"

"I think I really hit it off. Those students were all engaged with my teachings. I think I made quite a positive impact on them." Cozy said.

"Oh, I would say you made quite the impression on them." Spike said, smirking.

Both Twilight and Spike grinned heavily, it was a little unnerving actually.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"Oh, Cozy Glow, you got a letter!" Spike said.

"A letter, from whom?" she asked.

"Why don't you open it and have a look?" Twilight asked.

They passed the envelope to Cozy Glow. She then tore it open, and read the letter inside. She scanned her eyes across, reading it in her head. It was written very nicely, and with a pleasant looking purple ink.

"Well?" Spike asked.

"Golly! It's an invitation to a 'dinner date'..." Cozy said.

"A dinner date?!" Twilight and Spike exclaimed.

"Yep. Tonight at the Hayburger! At um..."

The time to meetup was smudged, and tough to read clearly.

"It's hard to make out, but it looks like it says the... eighteenth hour I think." Cozy said.

"Who's it from!?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, who's the admirer?" Spike asked.

"Doesn't say. It's anonymous." Cozy replied. "It mentions my teachings at the schoolhouse, so it's probably one of the students from Cheerile's school."

"Cozy's got a secret admirer!" Spike sang.

Twilight and Spike's cheery mood made her feel especially awkward.

"Why are you two so excited?" Cozy asked.

"You're one lucky filly, Cozy." Twilight said.

"Guess you really are too hard to resist." Spike teased.

"You're not just cute, you're irresistible." Twilight teased.

"Golly, stop it. You're making me blush." Cozy said.

"Oh, it'll be you and your lover, alone, in front of a tasty Hayburger meal." Twilight said.

Cozy panicked slightly realizing she didn't really know much about dates. And based on Twilight's description, they didn't sound all too appealing.

"Wait a sec, I don't know the first thing about dates." Cozy said.

"Aw, young love. Is it your first date?" Spike asked.

Cozy thought about her... previous 'relationships'.

"Uh... well, I've never been invited on a date that's for sure." Cozy replied.

"Well, if you're looking for advice, I think I know who you should ask." Twilight said.

"We happen to know a group of love experts. already." Spike said.

Cozy Glow exited the school, and her so called "love experts" were waiting for her.

"Cutie mark crusaders, I need your help once again!" Cozy exclaimed.

"What is it?" they asked simultaneously.

Cozy was shy, (especially after Twilight and Spike's ecstatic reaction) and didn't know how to explain it, so she just handed them the letter as is for them to read.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" the cmc erupted with a high pitch squeal that shook the ground.

"Cozy Glow's got a date!" they exclaimed.

"Please don't make this any more awkward than it already is." Cozy said. "I just came to you for some advice."

"Of course. How can we assist?" Scootaloo asked.

"First of all, I've never been on date." Cozy said, distressed. "And I don't know the first thing about treating somepony nicely." (that was the first honest thing she'd said since meeting the cmc)

"Well, there's no need to worry, with the cutie mark crusaders, we guarantee that you are going to wow whoever it is who's expecting you." Sweetie Belle said.

"Golly, sounds riveting! Where do I begin?" Cozy asked.

"Well, let's start with some of the basics." Apple Bloom said.

Cozy Glow was struggling to think about how romance would be useful to her world domination plan. Perhaps it wouldn't. But for the time being, she went along with what Twilight and the cmc recommended in order to retain that cute demeanor she led them all to believe in.

Later that night, at the Hayburger, Cozy Glow entered, and peered around the seating area. She was unimpressed with the sanitation of the building. What with so many cobwebs lining the ceiling. Nasty. But whatever, she was on the look out for whoever could have written that letter.

*ahem* the pony waiter got her attention.

"Are you expecting somepony?" the waiter asked.

"Yes I was. They wrote me letter and everything." Cozy explained.

The waiter pointed in the direction of the seating, and Cozy followed his direction. After just a bit of peeping, there was her target. Alone at a table sat a lonely foal.

"Ah, should have known." Cozy said to herself.

Cozy Glow trotted up the colt sitting alone at the table.

"You there. Are you a lonely colt alone on a Friday night seeking somepony to dine with?" Cozy asked.

"Today's Wednesday, but I suppose I fit a number of those descriptions." Pip said.

"Good. You must be who I'm looking for. I'm taking this empty seat." Cozy said.

Cozy took her seat and sat in front of Pipsqueak.

"Uh... good evening, Cozy Glow. You're looking awfully nice tonight." Pip complimented her.

"Uh... you too." Cozy said, unsure how to be nice when it comes to such direct relationships. She'd mostly forgotten all the advice the cmc had delivered, so she decided to wing it. That was not going particularly well, or terrible either actually.

The two sat awkwardly, not sure what to do next.

"So, uh... in case you forgot, my name's Pipsqueak. But you can just call me Pip. I just wanted to say thanks again, Cozy Glow for saving my kite. I didn't get the opportunity earlier today whilst you were busy teaching to every foal and filly at the school." he explained.

"Yeah. I suppose it was hard to get my attention earlier. All those school ponies were lining up to learn about what it's like to learn from Headmare Twilight." Cozy said.

"Yeah... *giggle* I like you, Cozy Glow." Pip said.

"L-like?" she asked.

"Yeah, everypony in Ponyville talks about how considerate you are." Pip said.

"Really? Huh." she said. Well, good thing my favors are working. she thought in her head.

"Yes, and I'd like to get to know more about you. For instance, just how do you get your mane to curl up like that?" he asked.

"My mane can retain this form for weeks before I have to redo it." Cozy explained.

One awkward dinner later...

With the dinner done and behind them, Cozy and Pip exited the building with full stomachs. More time had elapsed than either had thought.

"Oh my stars and garters, it's awfully dark out. I should be getting home to me mum." Pip said.

Cozy looked up and indeed, the sky was dark, and the moon's crescent was thin.

"Well..." Cozy scratched her head, trying to come up with an excuse to ditch him.

"I think you'll be fine. Crime rate in Ponyville is extremely low anyway!"

"But-" Pip pleaded.

"Nope! Gotta go!" Cozy swiftly turned around, but she didn't look where she was going, and bumped into somepony.

*bonk*

The two fillies bumped heads and fell onto their flanks.

"Hey! Watch where you're trotting you son of a *gasp*, Cozy Glow?" Diamond Tiara said.

Cozy shook her head and looked up.

"I recognize you. You're one of those school fillies." Cozy said.

"What are you doing with him?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Well, uh, Pip I and had an enchanted little dinner date together." Cozy explained in a phony tone.

"YOU, and HIM?!" Diamond Tiara exclaimed.

"You got a problem with that?" Cozy asked, with sass.

Diamond Tiara put away her feelings and replied calmly.

"No problem. I just never thought of you as that type of pony." Diamond Tiara turned her head up and walked away.

Not that type of pony? What does she mean? She thinks I can't make friends? I'll prove her wrong. Cozy said in her head.

"Uh... Cozy. So you're not going to walk me home?" Pip asked, pulling on her leg.

"You know what, I don't see why not." Cozy replied.

Cozy had agreed to be a little nicer to Pip to prove Diamond Tiara wrong. However, things were about to get very awkward very quickly.

"And do you mind if I hold your hoof while we trot? It's awfully dark, and I get scared of the dark when I'm alone..." Pip said.

Cozy Glow was not amused at the idea, but she did what he demanded of her. She extended her hoof without saying a word, but Pip took it as confirmation of a yes. He wrapped one of his forelegs around Cozy, and the two walked together.

Cozy walked with Pip, holding hooves. She wondered if this was necessary to keep him safe, or just a trick to get a little closer. Either way, she was indifferent to the hoof holding, but Pip seemed to get an odd sense of pleasure from it.

Just a short trot later, they reached their destination.

"Alright, we're here. Finally." Cozy said.
"Thank you so much for walking me home, Cozy Glow!" Pip said.

Pip wrapped his wee tiny forelimbs around Cozy and embraced her. Cozy pushed him out of her way.

"Anyway, I must be off as well." Cozy said.

"Good night, Cozy!" Pip said. "I'll see you tomorrow at school!"

*glass shatter sound* Oh shoot, that's right. I have to see this little squirt tomorrow at the schoolhouse. Cozy thought.

The next day at the school house, during break time, Cozy and Apple Bloom sat on the swing set, while Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo sat on the ground.

"So, what'd you think of Pip?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I don't know." Cozy replied. "He seems well and good, but he seems to want a lot from me."

"That's called having a relationship. It's a commitment that requires effort from both parties to maintain." Sweetie Belle explained.

"Sounds difficult." Cozy said, feeling doubtful.

"It doesn't have to be. So long as both partners really care for each other, then no rift can come between them." Scootaloo explained.

"So, you really are dating Pipsqueak, huh?" Diamond Tiara asked, suddenly appearing onto the scene.

Diamond Tiara confronted the four, and seemingly started interrogating them.

"I know what you saw last night looked cute, but I'm not sure if I'd call it a 'date'. If you insist though..." Cozy said.

"You know this isn't a romantic thing at all, right?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"It's not?" Cozy asked.

"He's just clinging to you because you're somepony to look up to." Diamond Tiara explained her theory. "You saved his kite. He looks up to you like an older sibling. There's nothing romantic going on between you and him."

Cozy looked down on her swing. She appeared to look sad, but inside, she was only brewing up more ideas.

"Lay off, Diamond Tiara." Apple Bloom said.

"You're being awful cynical right about now." Sweetie Belle said.

"Yeah, what happened to not being mean?" Scootaloo asked.

"I'm just giving my opinion, cutie mark crusaders." Diamond Tiara replied. "If you give Cozy advice on how to be romantic, you're just gonna end up confusing and hurting Pip."

"Well, what do you know about datin'?" Apple Bloom asked.

"...Nothing. Clearly nothing at all." Diamond Tiara replied.

Without saying another word, DT wandered off and left the group alone.

"Is she the school bully?" Cozy asked.

"Nah. Diamond Tiara ain't always like that." Apple Bloom said.

"She's usually not mean any more." Scootaloo added. "That was very strange of her just now."

"I think you two should talk. I think you'd make good friends." Sweetie Belle said.

"Us?" Cozy asked.

*ring* The school bell rang, signifying the end of play time.

"Recess is over. Come on, Cozy Glow." Apple Bloom said.

After another long day of teaching and learning, Cozy Glow walked out of the school house, looking very conflicted and unsure.

The cmc ran up to her with an envelope.

"Another letter!" the cmc exclaimed.

Cozy opened it and read the letter. It had the same hoofwriting and same purple ink.

"It's from Pip again." she said. "It's another invitation to eat at the Hayburger once again."

"I guess he wants seconds." Sweetie Belle said.

"I-I can't do it." Cozy said, hanging her head.

"Don't speak like that. You don't want to let him down, do ya?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I don't know. What happens if I 'let him down', as you describe?" Cozy asked.

"Think about his fragile little heart breaking if you turned him down." Scootaloo said.

"Hmm..." Cozy thought.

"He'll go cryin' wee wee wee all th' way home." Apple Bloom said.

Cozy imagined an outcome where Pip is miserable and heart broken after she breaks up with him.

"Okay. I'll do it." she said.

Not because I want to entertain your fantasy. But because I want to see you cry! Cozy thought. This dating business is far too distracting. I'll make sure tonight's date is our last.

Cozy gave a nasty grin, as she came up with a scheme to crush Pip in the worst way possible.

Later that night, at the Hayburger once more, Cozy Glow once again met up with Pipsqueak. This time, Pip was dolled up and wearing fancy clothes. Cozy felt under dressed in comparison, but no matter. Cozy's plan was to dump Pip, but instead of saying it directly, she had some more harmful ideas.

Cozy sat the table opposite Pip.

"It's a pleasure seeing you again, Miss. Glow." Pip said.

"Hmph." Cozy snarled.

*ahem* "I'll be your waiter tonight." Spike said. "What will you two be having?"

"Oh, I'm still deciding." Pip said, anxious.

"You know what? I'll treat you tonight, Pip. I know exactly what he wants, Spike." Cozy said, grinning.

Cozy whispered into Spike's ear.

"Are you sure about that?" Spike asked, nervous.

"Trust me, he loves it." she said.

Spike flew over to deliver the order to the chef.

"You're looking lovely tonight, Cozy Glow. Did you do something different with your mane?"

"No. My mane always looks like this." Cozy replied.

"You look like you have something on your mind." Pip said.

Inside Cozy's mind, she envisioned Pip being tortured by cruel and unusual tools of punishment. She envisioned that once Pip was out of the way, she'd be able to go through with the final stages of her plan, trap Twilight Sparkle and friends in Tartarus, and become the undeniable Empress of Friendship!!!!

*giggle* Cozy even laughed slightly on the outside.

"Dinner is served." Spike said. He placed two sandwiches on their tables, and handed them their drinks. He spared no expense, he brought their food on nice ceramic plates. Cozy had ordered water for her, and milk for Pip. He was going to need that milk...

"Huh?!" Cozy asked, waking up from her day dream.

"Thank you ever so graciously, Spike." Pip said.

"My pleasure. I'll leave you two love birds to yourselves." Spike flew to the kitchen, leaving them to themselves.

"Well, I don't want to keep my tummy waiting a moment longer. Let's eat." Pip said.

Pip took a bite of his meal and...

Here it comes. Cozy thought.

*SIZZLE* "AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Pip exclaimed with flames coming from his mouth.

He chugged all his milk at once to cool off.

"Oh deary me! What was in this here meal?" Pip asked.

"It's your favorite! A sandwich with ponypeño peppers!" Cozy replied, with a phony smile.

After taking a sip, Pip seemed fine. In fact, he went for a second bite soon thereafter.

Well, if that didn't do it. What will? Cozy thought.

"Hey Cozy, my face is itchy. And I know it's not from the food. Do I have something on my face, Cozy?" Pip asked.

Cozy looked, and yes, out of nowhere, there was a spider on his forehead.

Huh. Guess that explains all the cobwebs. Cozy realized. Oh well, I'll take it.

"Let me get it." Cozy said.

Cozy wiped all the food off her ceramic plate, and held it in her hooves. She reeled it back, and...

"AAAAAHHH-

*SHATTER*

Later:

Pip was furious, stressed out, and exhausted from the date.

"Oh. This is not going how I imagined it." Pip said. "Cozy Glow, I..."

Say it. Say it you loser! Cozy thought.

"I LOVE YOU!" he blurted out.

*glass shatter sound* Cozy dropped her glass on the ground. "WHAT?!" she exclaimed.

"I mean it. This has been the most enjoyable date I've ever been on!" Pip said joyfully.

"But how!? I tortured you! I fed you spicy food! I shattered a ceramic plate in your face! You're so supposed to go crying wee wee wee to your mum!" Cozy exclaimed.

"But I could never leave my kite's savior. Especially after you was so nice to me." Pip said.

"How is this being nice by any stretch of the imagination?!" Cozy asked.

"Most ponies don't even notice me beneath their horseshoes." Pip wept. "You've spent so much time and energy giving me all your attention."

Pip wrapped his wee little arms around Cozy Glow, and embraced her. Cozy's facial expression was that of bewilderment and astonishment. For once, somepony didn't respond the way she expected to her manipulative tactics.

"I'm so tiny, ponies walk all over me like I'm dirt!" Pip cried.

Pip was vulnerable, a perfect opportunity to strike Cozy figured.

"That's because you ARE DIRT!" Cozy exclaimed.

"But-"

"I mean it! Ponies will always just step on you because you're a LOSER!" Cozy exclaimed. "If you couldn't catch a hint, we're done. What I say goes, and I say, we're through."

"What did I do to ever aggravate you, Cozy?" Pip asked.

Cozy Glow turned her nose up and exited the Hayburger.

*sigh* Pip let out a hearty sigh.

Spike just came back from the kitchen and missed the all the drama. He could see that Pip was upset.

"Uh... here's your bill." Spike put the bill on the table.

"I guess this means she's not picking up the tab..." Pip said.

*sigh* Pip reached down and pulled out his piggy bank.

"Don't sweat it kid. Dinner's on me." Spike said, patting Pip on the head.

*sob* "Thanks, Spike." Pip said.

Next day:

On the swing sets, Cozy once again met with the cmc.

"So how'd it go?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Great!" Cozy exclaimed.

The cmc all smiled gleefully.

"Or bad, depending on your perspective. In terms of developing a 'relationship', we totally broke up." Cozy said. That extra detail completely killed the mood.

"WHAT?!" the cmc exclaimed.

"I mean, I don't know where we went wrong. We were both totally nice to each other, but we mutually decided that we should both-"

"LETTER FOR COZY GLOW!" Featherweight exclaimed.

The little pegasus flew onto the scene, and passed the envelope to Cozy Glow.

"Oh you're kidding me!" Cozy exclaimed. "Another letter from Pip!?"

"How do you know it's from him?" Sweetie Belle asked. "You haven't even opened it yet."

"It's the exact same envelope seal as the previous two! If the past two are any indicator, I don't even need to open it." Cozy replied.

"So does this mean he wants to meet up once more for dinner?" Scootaloo asked.

"But how?! I dumped his flank into the dirt!" Cozy exclaimed.

"Huh?" the cmc all looked confused.

"I mean, it didn't work out between us last night." Cozy corrected herself.

"Maybe he wants to make it up to you." Sweetie Belle suggested.

"There's nothing he can do to make it up to me! I made up my mind!" Cozy exclaimed.

"Well, you better go tell 'em that you've made up yer mind." Apple Bloom said.

"Yes, yes I'll go. I'll go extra early and give him what's coming to him." Cozy said with a sinister tone.

Cozy Glow arrived at the Hayburger, for the last time. She came extra early to get a jump on the foal.

Once again a generic pony was the waiter. Spike was a one and done.

"Waiter, is the loser here again?" Cozy asked.

The waiter pointed in the direction of the seating, and so Cozy walked in that direction without thanking the service.

"I'll make sure I get my point across this time. If he has any fantasy of us as a couple, I'm going to set the record straight, so he can stop wasting my time... *GASP*

What Cozy saw blew her mind. Yes, Pipsqueak was present, and he had company.

"What IS THIS!?" Cozy exclaimed.

"Oh hi, Cozy Glow. Meet my friend, Zipporwhill." Pip said. "Zipporwhill, say hi to my friend, Cozy Glow. She rescued my kite from a tree."

"Pleased to meet you, Cozy Glow." Zipporwhill said.

*Grrrr* Cozy was grumpy and furious.

"Pip told me you attend Twilight Sparkle's school of friendship. You're so lucky." she said. "What's it like being taught by the Princess of Friendship?"

"Oh, it's just peachy!" Cozy exclaimed.

"Cozy Glow? Are you all right?" Pip asked.

"You need to take a step outside or something?" Zippor asked.

"What am I looking at? What are you two doing together?!" Cozy asked.

"Well, I felt really bad about last night, and didn't want to be a thorn in your side. So I wanted to give you some space for a bit." Pip explained.

"You seem awfully calm for somepony whose heart I crushed." Cozy said, gritting her teeth.

"Sure, I was pretty upset last night, and a little embarrassed I blurted out my feelings prematurely, but I quickly bounced back." Pip explained.

In other words, Pip made a speedy recovery from Cozy's abusive treatment. This was not to her liking. Was she losing her manipulative edge?

"NO! I was supposed to dump you, then you were supposed to be miserable for the rest of your life! But here you go dating this filly!"

"I thought you didn't want to be together any more. Why do you care?" Pip asked.

"ME?! You're the one who came crawling to me in the first place! All I did was retrieve your LAME kite, and it was you who wrote me all these letters!" Cozy said.

Cozy showed Pip the two letters she'd received previously. Pip picked them up and scanned them both.

"But I didn't write you any letters." Pip said.

"WHAT?!" Cozy exclaimed.

"These aren't in my hoofwriting. Plus, I don't even own a purple sharpie pen." Pip explained.

This revelation came as a shock to Cozy Glow. Her pupils dilated and she fumed with rage. She'd been tricked by somepony else. And only she's allowed to be the manipulator!

"Then who is responsible for these messages?!" Cozy asked.

Cozy was about to blow up in rage, but then, actually, what happened next only made things worse.

"Cozy?" somepony asked.

Cozy turned around and it was-

"Who are you?!" Cozy asked.

"My name's Rumble. I'm one of the foals from the school, and I got something I want to tell you." Rumble said.

"You? You're practically invisible!" Cozy exclaimed.

"Well, consider this me coming out of the dark to say hello to you, filly." Rumble said. "Every day with you at the school has been a dream."

Cozy was borderline offended by the audacity of this foal.

"What, just because you're a semi-attractive colt you think I'll like you?!" Cozy exclaimed.

"Well, if you think I'm semi-attractive, as you say." Rumble said, bouncing his eyebrows up and down, and smirking.

Rumble closed his eyes and puckered his lips. Cozy's response was to shove a salt shaker into his mouth.

"Forget you! In fact, forget ALL OF YOU!" Cozy exclaimed.

She turned around and trotted to the exit.

"Cozy, wait! You don't have to go!" Pip cried out.

*SLAM*

Cozy slammed the door on her way out.

"I think we should go talk to her." Zippor said.

"Cozy Glow! It's okay. You should talk out your feelings!" Pip said.

Pip tried to follow Cozy, but...

*smack* Pip attempted to open the door but it was stuck shut, and he bumped his head against the wood. Pip turned the knob and pushed, the door wouldn't open.

"I can't open the door." he said.

"Move aside, squirt. It's obviously a pull door." Rumble said, confidently.

Rumble turned the knob and pulled, but that didn't open the door either.

"Hey, Cozy Glow? I think the door's broken!" Rumble cried out.

"The door simply won't budge!" Pip said.

"The door's broken? Golly! Talk about crumbling infrastructure!" Cozy said through the door." Cozy said.

"Can you get us out of here?!" Zippor asked. "I gotta get home to feed my puppy!"

"And I don't do well in tight spaces!" Pip cried.

"No worries! I'll go get help!" Cozy said through the door.

"You're a lifesaver, Cozy." Pip said.

"Don't mention it." Cozy said, with a devious face.

Being trapped inside gave the fillies and foals time to think.

*sigh* "I feel simply awful. I had no idea she would act so defensive seeing me on a casual dinner with another filly." Pip said.

"It's okay, Pip." Zippor said. She wrapped her hoof around the foal.

*drip* A drip of water fell onto Pip's tiny nose.

"I get it's sad, but you don't have to cry your tears right on top of me, Rumble." Pip said.

"And me too." Zippor added.

"That wasn't me. I don't cry over romantic break ups." Rumble said.

"Then what...?"

The three looked up and saw water coming from the ceiling. Lots of water...

"Uh..."

Outside, Cozy Glow was flying around and gathering clouds. She placed them over the Hayburger, and began stomping on them to release their rain water onto the building, in a deliberate attempt to drown every creature inside.

So much rain poured out, the inside started to flood.

Hehehe. "I'll teach you! I'll teach all of you!" Cozy exclaimed.

Cozy bounced on the rain clouds, when all of the sudden, somepony called her out.

"Hey, you!" somepony exclaimed.

"Huh? What?" Cozy heard the voice.

On the ground, looking up, stood Diamond Tiara of all fillies.

"You're here much earlier than I expected." she said.

"What do you want this time?" Cozy asked. "And why do you keep following me?"

"Are you going to save them from your own trap?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Me? Pah. This isn't my doing!" Cozy lied.

"I saw you literally jumping on that storm cloud above the building." Diamond Tiara said.

Cozy looked behind her at the cloud still pouring rain into the building.

"Okay, so it's pretty obvious. What are you gonna do about it?" Cozy asked.

"Not much. But I do urge you to save them." Diamond Tiara said.

"But, I'm just a filly. I don't know if there's much I can do to help them." Cozy lied.

"You know, you're lucky to have the respect of somepony like Pip." Diamond Tiara said.

"Lucky? Pah. I could garner the respect of ten colts in no time at all. All I gotta do is give 'em the old smile." Cozy said.

"Respect isn't something you gain. It's something you earn." Diamond Tiara said.

"What do you know about respect?" Cozy asked.

"Plenty enough. So, you claim to be Twilight's must trusted student?" DT asked.

"Her one and only favorite." Cozy replied.

"Wow, kudos to you. Can't get much higher trust than that. Just be careful what you do with that trust." Diamond Tiara said.

"Why do you care so much about what I do?" Cozy Glow asked.

"I'm just looking out for you. It's what friends do, you know." Diamond Tiara said.

Cozy Glow started at Diamond Tiara, blankly.

"You don't really know anything about friendship, do you?"

"That's a weird question." Cozy said, with a strange face.

"I've been in your hoofsteps. Making weird faces. Lying to and tricking other ponies to get your way. I can see you're just following your cutie mark." Diamond Tiara said.

Cozy thought Diamond Tiara was full of crud, but she listened to see where DT was going with this.

"That's a nice mark you got. Pretty vague. I'm guessing you interpret it as, you have a knack for setting ponies up and manipulating them, but you don't have to interpret it that way." Diamond Tiara said.

Cozy raised her eyebrow very high.

"So trust me, whatever it is you're going to do tomorrow, don't. Whatever thing you hope to gain, think, is it really worth it? What could you possibly gain that you don't already have?" Diamond Tiara asked. "And think about what you have to lose.

"How do you know that I'm about to execute my master plan tomorrow!?" Cozy asked.

"I don't. The kids. I'm talking about the kids trapped inside. What did you think I was talking about?" Diamond Tiara asked.

"Uh..." Cozy tried to act dumb, as if she wasn't planning a world ending scheme.

"Please get us out of here!" Pip cried from inside the flooding building.

"Everything I do is necessary. What I'm about to do is necessity. I have my reasons. You have no idea what I've been through." Cozy said.

"You're right, I don't. Why don't you talk about it with me." Diamond Tiara suggested.

Great, I trotted right into that one. Cozy thought.

"I hear you're the rich kid. Must be nice having a powerful family." Cozy said.

"Well, being rich means a lot of things. Like-" Diamond Tiara was interrupted.

"But it must suck that no matter your wealth, there will always be a unicorn more powerful than every bit in your piggy bank put together." Cozy ranted.

"Whatever. Just think about it. You have free will, use it while you still can. Not just for your sake, but for everypony who cares about you." Diamond Tiara said.

Diamond Tiara walked away. Cozy looked down and kicked her hoofs in the dirt. Who was this loser Diamond Tiara? And how did she know what to say to Cozy?

"Help!" Pip cried. "I'll do anything for our savior!"

But the building was still flooding.

"Hmm, anything?" Cozy thought.

Cozy opened the door and water came pouring out in a cascade. The water poured out with the little ponies. Pip washed up clumsily in front of Cozy Glow, while adjacent, Rumble laid on his back, and Zipporwhill awkwardly washed up right on top of him.

"Uhhhh..."
"Uhhhh..." they both stared at each other awkwardly.

"Thank Celestia we're saved!" Pip stood up and exclaimed.

The two got up and immediately headed out.

"Where are you going, Zippor?" Pip asked.

"I uh... I think I hear my puppey calling for me. *woof woof* I better go!" she said.

"I better go with you. You know, to make sure he's okay." Rumble said.

Zipporwhill left with Rumble, leaving Cozy and Pip alone.

"I'm really sorry, Cozy Glow." Pip said.

"I mean, it's not your fault it started raining so hard." Cozy said.

Pip looked weak and lonely. So Cozy thought about what DT said, and decided to start over together with Pip. Sort of.

"Say, things are gonna start getting pretty crazy soon." Cozy said.

"What are you talking about?" Pip asked.

"Well, it's a rough world out there. We all need somepony to look after." Cozy said. "Pip. I ask you one more time. Say for instance, if Equestria's leaders are incapacitated for whatever reason, would you be my king?" Cozy asked.

"Me?" he asked.

"Yes. Be by my side! We can fly all the kites we want! We can dominate friendship!" Cozy said.

Pip scratched his head in confusion.

"I'm offering you the opportunity. Which is very out of my element, normally I'd force somepony to do something, but I'm kindly offering you the chance of a lifetime." Cozy said.

"But uh..." Pip thought about her offer.

She noticed Diamond Tiara staring at their conversation.

"I promise to protect you from all those big bad ponies who step all over you. It'll be just you and me, at the highest level Equestria will ever see. What do you say?" Cozy asked.

Cozy held her hoof onto Pip's.

Pip was speechless for a moment. Even his wee little brain had a hunch Cozy wasn't talking about role playing. But he couldn't imagine the scale of her ambition.

Pip let go of Cozy's hooves.

"I can't..." Pip said.

"Why not?" Cozy asked, surprisingly calmly.

"I'm awfully sorry, Cozy Glow. It isn't you. You're a fantastic TA, and an even better friend. It's just, it's me." Pip said.

"I understand." she said.

Cozy let go of Pip's hooves.

"But don't come crawling to me when all Tartarus breaks loose." Cozy said.

Cozy flew away, and Pip hung his head in despair.

.

.

.

A few days later, the magic in Equestria almost disappeared, but then miraculously returned. All was well in Equestria. Well, for most ponies anyway. With Equestria's brush with disaster recently over, Pip was concerned, and searched for his friend. He entered Twilight's school to look for Cozy Glow.

"Cozy Glow!" Pip cried out.

Pip ran up and down Twilight's school, but he did not see Cozy Glow anywhere, no matter how hard he looked.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"She's gone." Diamond Tiara said, who happened to also be at the school of friendship.

"What do you mean?" Pip asked.

"They locked her away in Tartarus." Diamond Tiara explained.

"WHAT?! Why would they do such a thing to her?" Pip asked.

"She got what she deserved." Diamond Tiara said.

"The magic disappearing was her doing?" Pip asked.

Diamond Tiara hung her head and nodded.

"Why would she do such a thing?" Pip asked

"I guess making friends just wasn't enough for her..." Diamond Tiara speculated.

"Oh, what a shame. If you ignore all the awful stuff she did, she really wasn't so bad. She was mostly nice to me, and you." Pip said. "I wish I could start over with her."

"Yeah, me too kid. Me too..." Diamond Tiara said.

She walked over and wrapped Pip around her hoof, as they each took time to remember Cozy Glow.

"It's a shame she couldn't see the other side of her cutie mark..." Pip said.

"Yeah..." Diamond Tiara replied. Did she even read my last letter? Did it matter? I should have just been more direct with her and reached out. Maybe then we could have actually met up instead her ending up with Pip by mistake. Expecting her to reach out to me? Well, look where she ended up...

"It's a shame she couldn't see the light and... *sigh* stay out of trouble, Pip..." Diamond Tiara said.

DT patted Pip on the head, and slowly trotted home...

On his way out, Pip happened to pass by Neighsay's office, where Twilight and Neighsay were clearing the room of Cozy's stuff. One item, an envelope, slipped out of the box and landed by Pip's hooves.

Pip, being the ever curious foal he was, picked up the unopened letter. He wasn't much for peeping, but... Cozy Glow wouldn't be receiving it any time soon anyway. He bit into the envelope and opened it up, and Inside was a letter, written with the same purple sharpie as the other two letters Cozy showed him. He unfurled the paper, and took a loot at the contents. It read:

Dear Cozy Glow,

This letter's a bit different than my previous two.

Instead of an invitation to eat at some junky food joint, why don't we just talk?

I get the feeling you're up to no good.

But don't worry, I won't tell nopony.

Whatever trouble it is you're feeling, come talk to me about it.

I used to be mean,

even after I got my cutie mark, I was miserable

and mistreating weaker ponies was my only form of solace

But then the cutie mark crusaders helped me find my true purpose

and I haven't been happier since.

I was hoping I can help you find your true purpose too.

I'm not assuming you're miserable on the inside,

but having more friends never hurt anypony.

Come talk to me sometime. I'm all ears.

Your friend, Diamond Tiara

Pip's reaction to the letter was...

"Huh... It's a shame I can't read." Pip said to himself. "Maybe when I'm older, I'll understand what's written."

He tucked the note away to put away for safekeeping. Maybe some day he'll learn what the note really means. Same could be said for Cozy actually. She may not ever read this particular letter, but Diamond Tiara had hoped that Cozy could get the message she was sending some day.

The End

Author's Note

Special shout out to Wild Stallion for proofreading and offering suggestions. :twilightsmile: