When the Doctor Came to Equestria

Chapters

1. What's this place full of ponies?
2. Bowties are cool. Apples are not.
3. Of Bunnies and Rainbows
4. My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhhh...

1. What's this place full of ponies?

Chapter One

The Eleventh Doctor didn’t particularly care to be alone. He was best when he had a companion or two at his side, people who would talk with him and listen to him and share in his adventures. But somehow, those companions always seemed to have come to some kind of grief when they were with them. Saying goodbye to the Ponds, Amy and Rory, had been a very painful thing for him and for the moment, he was a solitary traveler.

Being the staunch man of nine hundred years that he was, however, he carried on and had a merry old time of it. He had his Tardis at least, and that old girl would never quit on him.

“Where to now, I wonder?” he muttered to himself as he drummed his fingers on the console. He had taken to talking to himself and to the Tardis a great deal lately. It made him sound mad, he knew, but being quiet was so…boring.

“I have just the idea!” he suddenly exclaimed, straightening his bowtie and grinning like a child. “Anywhere, anytime, why bother about the details?” He adjusted a few knobs, pressed a few buttons and pulled the lever that would start up the sexy old girl. “Geronimo!” He was in the mood for something very new, not just a new adventure but a new place. The Tardis would fly him wherever and whenever and he would land when he had a mind to.

He ignored the little sparks that burst from the console every now and then; that is, until the Tardis jerked wildly and a whole host of miniature fireworks exploded forth. The Doctor was thrown aside and tossed about as the machine did a series of spins, sending him slamming into railings and onto the floor.

At last he felt that all was still and clambered somewhat stiffly to his feet. “Now that wasn’t supposed to happen,” he said slowly, looking around. Nothing seemed permanently damaged. He checked himself; his faithful sonic screwdriver was still in his pocket and his bowtie was still secure.

“Now then,” he went on, speaking to the Tardis, “where have you landed me this time?” Rather than wait for a response (it was a time machine with a soul, not a speaking person) he bounded eagerly to the front door and swung it open.

“Ah! Well this is new.”

The landscape before him was unlike anything he had ever witnessed; and he had certainly seen many odd things. It seemed as though he had stepped into a kind of pastel cartoon world. His machine was atop a hill blanketed in deep green grass, and the rolling knolls around him sloped gently down towards a town in the distance. The sky was positively pastel in its blue, comically fluffy clouds playing lazily across the perfect background. Butterflies flitted about and adorable, big-eyed bunnies bounced past unconcernedly; the Doctor wasn’t sure if he enjoyed this cutesiness or not.

He took a step forward and immediately he lost a few feet in height; that was certainly strange. His appendages felt strange, as if he lacked hands and feet and were on all fours…what an odd sensation. He pondered it, running a hoof through his mane and twitching his tail in thought.

Wait a minute. Hoof? Mane? TAIL?

He looked down and saw two hooved legs; he stretched his neck around and found it elongated. With a growing realization that this was indeed an oddity, he took in the sight of a brown flank with a curious hourglass mark tattooed upon its face. He wiggled his whole body and found that he appeared to have changed into some odd form of equine, a small one that still wore a coat and bowtie.

“I seem to be a pony! Now, why would I be a pony? And what kind of pony looks exactly like this and on top of that, where am I?” His eyes widened. “Oh! And I’m a talking pony too, that’s just brilliant! And very weird, too, I never asked to be a stallion.” It took a great deal of awkward maneuvering, but eventually he managed to get to his coat pocket. Breathing a sigh of relief when he found his trusty screwdriver, he decided to make for the town ahead gain some information from the lovely civilians there. He walked forward.

He promptly tripped and fell flat on his face.

“Right then!” he cried to himself as he struggled to get up. “Four legs, this is very, very new.” The fact that he was a pony did worry him, but not to an alarming extent; being the Doctor entailed weird happenings and this was merely another one on the list. Now to find out where he was!

He wobbled and stumbled his way down the slope of the hill, attempting to walk and get used to feelings such as the wind in his mane at the same time. Then it occurred to him that he’d never had the occasion to think like this before and that sweet, slithering Slitheen, he was a pony. He lost his footing once more and tumbled head over heels, sliding to a dusty halt at the bottom. The town was closer now and he could see thatched roofs and the shapes of pony-like creatures trotting along on its roads, so it was obviously no oddity to be a four-legged pastel oddity here.

By the time he entered the town, he had found his footing (hoofing? Oh, the words he wouldn’t be able to use here) and was devouring the sights with eager Time Lord eyes. As he trotted along at a fair pace he made exclamations at the things he saw and attracted a few strange looks, but he didn’t notice. Being the Doctor also entailed people looking at you as though you had three heads. He appeared to have wandered into some kind of marketplace. The voices of vendors selling their wares drifted over his head, mostly advertising fresh vegetables and fruit in delectably bright colors. Fillies and colts chased each other and played in the square, while ponies shopped and chatted. His keen eyes noticed a very important thing, the kind of important thing that was sure to be vital later: some had wings, some had horns and apparently did magic with them, and others had none. All were about three feet tall, which disappointed him; subconsciously he had hoped to be a great, large stallion of epic prowess. Occasionally he did sweeps with his screwdriver and the data he gathered was unanimous: these were bona fide, if not uncommon, ponies.

“Pegasi, unicorns and regular old ponies all living together in a thatched-roof village in a cartoony world, oh I love this,” he muttered enthusiastically. He examined himself again and found no horn or wings. He pouted a little. “Ah well, would be nice. But that still doesn’t tell me where I am…” It was becoming increasingly obvious that the world he had touched down on was extremely obscure. No planet or galaxy in his long and complicated memory was remotely like this one.

His thoughts were interrupted (so rude; he simply hated having his concentration broken) by a garish pink blur rushing past him and stopping before him. The rush of the movement turned him into a temporary whirlwind. He righted himself at last, much dustier than he had been, but before he could accost the pink thing his ears were assaulted by a barrage of high-pitched talking.

“Hey mister, I haven’t seen you before! And I know everypony around here so that must mean you’re a new pony, ‘cause I remember everything about everypony and I don’t remember anything about you so you’ve GOTTA be new!” She took a deep breath, her mouth expanding far more than it shoulder have, and plunged into more speech. “And I love new ponies, because that means new friends and friends are great, dontcha think? Anyway, mister, welcome to town! I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s your name?”

The Doctor blinked several times, very slowly, and stared at the bubbly, bouncing thing in front of him. It was a pony, so pink that it hurt, with a springy poofy mane and tail in an even deeper shade of pink; she was a mare of about three feet without horn or wings. She stopped bouncing at last and flashed a blinding grin at him. Each of her flanks was marked with three balloons.

At last he shook his head rapidly and gathered his scattered brains together. “’Ello there Pinkie Pie, I’m the Doctor and I’m from a very, very distant place. Can you tell me exactly where I am?”

“Sure, Doctor! This is Ponyville, the best place to be in all of Equestria!” Pinkie positively beamed at him.

“Equestria…Equestria…AH! The Tardis!” Without explanation, he suddenly turned and galloped down the road, away from the hyperactive mare and the pleasant pony town. He did enjoy the sensation of galloping, as unusual as it was. It made him feel like some dashing stallion.

“Bye Doctor! Welcome to Ponyville! Again!” Pinkie’s shrill cry was the last thing he heard from the settlement as he dashed up the hill to his beloved blue box.

As an experiment, he reared up on hid hind legs and used both front hooves to push the door open; he toppled sideways and hit the ground.

“Remember, four legs,” he reminded himself as he trotted into the machine that was bigger on the inside. Everything looked much taller. How in the name of Gallifrey was he supposed to operate anything in here with hooves and no fingers?

He made his way to the screen sticking out from the console. Normally he would use the typewriter keyboard underneath to punch in coordinates, but now he used it to perform a search.

Except he didn’t have fingers. Grumbling to himself, he pulled out his sonic screwdriver; he was forced to use his mouth, a series of very awkward movements and the end of the device to punch each individual letter.

“Alright then! Equestria. What have we got?” He read the screen, and with each new piece of info his eyes grew huger and his sense of disbelief ever greater. It read:

Place:

Equestria

Planet:

N/A

Galaxy:

N/A

“But…that’s impossible! It can’t be nowhere!”

Year of establishment:

2010

“2010! What year could it possibly be?” In a frenzy the Doctor checked his date and surprisingly, he was in 2012, the present. “How could it only be just two years old?”

Inhabitants:

Ponies

Origin of native species:

Human minds

“Human…minds?”

Status:

Awaiting Season 3 of My Little Pony

“Season 3? Is that some sort of code for weather, or-” Suddenly he stopped, his mouth agape. His ancient, well-learned brain put the facts together in a blink of an eye. Equestria was not on a planet, and yet it was a world inhabited by living ponies. Ponies that originated from human minds awaiting the third season. Television shows came in seasons, didn’t they? Oh and humans, those funny little humans, they just loved dreaming up those TV series of theirs. And the world was awfully bright and happy….rather…childish. My Little Pony. There was no other explanation. Well, there was no other obvious one and obvious ones were his favorite.

“But that’s impossible!” he said again, addressing the screen. “I can’t have landed inside the world of a children’s TV show! It doesn’t actually exist! That’s not-I can’t-” He made a funny growling noise and rubbed his hoof through his mane like a maniac.

The Doctor gazed in bemusement at the screen, at the Tardis from his new perspective. “How did you get me inside a TV world, old girl?”

He looked to the door. There was no way that he could waltz off through time and space as a pony; no, he needed to stay in Equestria and figure out…well…everything.

“Geronimo!” he cried to himself for the second time, plunging recklessly outside and running back towards Ponyville.

A/N: This wasn’t meant to be a terribly serious idea, but I do aim to capture the personality of the Eleventh as best I can. I apologize if I haven’t done so.

2. Bowties are cool. Apples are not.

Chapter Two

The Doctor just couldn’t decide. Should he sweep the area with his screwdriver and look for anything odd, anything wrong that might offer clues as to his situation? Should he ask around with the locals and see if anything…funny had happened lately? Perhaps whatever was causing any potential funniness had also caused him to arrive here. Or would it be best to read up on the history of Equestria and find out if they had any knowledge of who he presumed were their creators?

“Well, I’ll just have to do all of them!” He encouraged himself with similar sayings as he half-trotted, half-galloped towards Ponyville. He began to consider the situation. The world had only been conceived of in 2010, and yet the world around him felt much, much older than that. He was a good judge of such things. If the humans had done their plot-writing correctly, they would have given Equestria some kind of past, which would account for the apparent disconnect between an old civilization and the short span of two years the world had known. Was there any way the ponies could know of the bipeds that had dreamt them up? He doubted it, and sighed to himself. He hated having to be extra careful and it seemed that here, he would have to be.

“No mentioning humans! Or Time Lords! Or Earth, or hands, or feet, or…oh, my, this will be more difficult than I thought.” I really ought to find myself another companion, he mused silently.

When he was among the quaint buildings once more he pulled out his screwdriver (the process was hardly so immediate; he had to pull off some fancy neck-twisting) and sighed again. It would mean more delays, but he really did need to fix this problem.

Absentmindedly, he ambled into the market square once again, looking for a tailor’s shop. All of the buildings were brightly colored but only signs with pictures. He saw a garishly colored, tall building with a sign depicting confectionary and instinctively gave it a wide berth; it had Pinkie Pie written all over it. Even he was not ready for another bout of that crazy pink mare.

“Well howdy mister!” a cheerful voice to his left called out. “Ah ain’t see you around these parts before and ya look a mite lost. You lookin’ for somethin’ in this here town?”

The Doctor turned and saw two things. One was an orange mare with a rough blonde mane and tail tied back into ponytails, wearing…a Stetson! He grinned happily. His time with a Stetson had been short-lived (one of his friends had had a tendency to shoot hats she didn’t like), but he loved them all the same. And she looked nice enough; the smile on her freckled face was genuinely welcoming.

His gaze slid to the other thing: what her vendor’s stall advertised. A paroxysm of horror threatened to paralyze him. Apples. Red, green, golden delicious, dozens of vivid, healthy apples. Disgusting. Poisonous, in his opinion. One of his least favorite foods; being the first thing he had eaten after his regeneration, it had stuck unpleasantly in his memory. He wanted to turn and run but experience had taught him that that was rude. People didn’t like rudeness.

Putting on a brave face and gulping down his distaste, he walked over to her stall and forced himself to appear nonchalant. “Er, yes, that’s right, I am a bit lost. Totally new here, very disoriented, can’t find a thing. My name’s the Doctor.”

“Ahm Applejack! Pleasure to meet ya, uh…jes…Doctor? Doctor Who?”

“Oh, just the Doctor.” Really, that question was beginning to get old. No, not beginning. It was ancient. “Now, um, can you tell me if there any sort of tailor shop or clothing...thing here in Ponyville?”

“Sure thing, partner! Mah friend Rarity owns a fashion, uh...what does she call it, boutique.” Rarity. Huh boy. He was already having doubts. “Jus’ go down this street and make the first right you see. Big, frou-frou place, ya can’t miss it.”

“Great! Fantastic! You’re loads of help. Now if you’ll excuse me, Applejack, I need to see about a pocket for a screwdriver.” He turned and began to trot away hurriedly. Anything to get away from those apples.

“Ya sure ah can’t tempt ya with some of them here apples? Finest fruit in all of Equestria right here, and bucked fresh jes’ this mornin’.” The Doctor turned back; nope, her pleasantries and evil apples would never get him!

“Right, um, no thank you, I’m really more of a banana person,” he blurted out. Then he vanished among the townsponies, heaving a heavy sigh of relief as soon as he was away. He barely heard the country voice saying in an injured tone, “Well ah’ll be! Bananas over mah apples, ain’t that the funniest thang.” Recently his hatred of apples had developed into a small phobia. But if the world got word that the Doctor, the time-traveling guardian of the universe, had the smallest touch of Malusdomesticaphobia, he would never hear the end of it.

By the time he made that right and saw the frou-frou boutique, the memory of the apples was distant and he was cheerful once more. He halted and stared. Applejack was right; he never could have missed the place.

“Oh! Well, this must be it, mustn’t it?” The building had several tiers, each in a different color with a different kind of elegant design dancing across the storefront. Little banners, flags and the like topped the place off and the Doctor had a distinct feeling that he was going to have to extend his already-wide comfort zone just a bit farther. After a few seconds of deliberating on how exactly ponies opened doors, he raised a hoof and pushed the said portal open. He walked inside and the delicate tinkle of a shop bell followed.

Instantly a white unicorn came sauntering daintily down the staircase to his right. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique! My name is Rarity, how may I help you?” she trilled in a voice with a hint of an accent similar to his.

He was never going to get used to seeing new ponies, was he? Slimly, crawling aliens, shape-shifting monsters and heaven knew what else were all in a day’s work, but these ponies…they were all so different, so unique! It was splendid! He almost said so out loud but checked himself and looked instead. Rarity’s spiraling tail and her perfectly curled mane, in a shade of royal purple that reminded him pleasantly of grapes, contrasted sharply with her pure white coat. Everypony seemed to have a mark and hers was three diamonds. A blue aura surrounded her horn and behind her floated several tools of sewing, also encased in such an aura. It appeared he was dealing with a very ladylike mare.

“Oh, fascinating, very fascinating!” He snapped back from his observations. “Oh! Yes! I am the Doctor, just the Doctor, new here in Ponyville, and I wanted to see about a, um, tailor job?”

“Welcome to Ponyville, darling! I assure you you’ve come to the right place for any sewing fix-up!” She gave a little laugh, but he could see just the smallest of frowns forming on her face. “Hhm…what exactly were you needing?”

“Well I’ve got this great little device, it’s called a sonic screwdriver, but I can’t get to it very easily.” He demonstrated getting it out. “So I was hoping this lovely establishment could provide me with a nice outer pocket. Where, I wonder? I suppose on the foreleg. Foreleg, that is the word, isn’t it? Right. Well. Can that be done?”

For a second her expression was a mask of confusion but Rarity quickly reassumed her professional manner. “Sonic…er…?” She gave herself a little shake and evidently decided to drop the matter. “Well of course that would be manageable, ehm…Doctor! But…” Her eyes slid over his attire and the glint in her eyes worried him. “Are you certain that’s all you really need? I could offer you a pick of any fabulous in-season fashion choices!” She gestured dramatically, pointing at a rack of pony clothing and at several clothed mannequins on display.

The Doctor frowned. “Well what’s wrong with this? It’s a bit worn, definitely, but it’s my trusty jacket!”

“Are you sure? I don’t mean to be rude, but if you’re looking to keep up with the latest styles, well…bowties are several seasons out, dear.” The alabaster unicorn battered her eyelashes and threw a pointed glance at her garments for sale.

He fixed her with his I-am-the-Doctor-so-don’t-mess-with-me glare. That look had made enemies tremble and good guys breathe a sigh of relief, for they were not on the receiving end of it. “Hey. I always have my bowtie. Bowties are cool.” An insult to his bowtie, that was on par with insulting the Tardis or sonic screwdriver!

“If you’re certain, then, darling…” She allowed just a hint of disappointment to creep into those rather large blue eyes before moving on. “Now, if you’ll just rear back for me, I can have that jacket off and fixed up just how you want it! It’ll only take a few minutes.”

He stood looking around, now clad only in his precious bowtie. Was she insinuating that his clothes were outdated, and therefore uncool? Of course he wasn’t uncool. He was the Doctor. He shook his head. Rarity crossed to a work table littered with measuring tapes, scissors, threads and drawings of outfits. A large red sewing machine sat gleaming on its surface. She set to work. Ponies with sewing machines! When would the fun end?

“Now, Doctor, I really must ask, where are you from? I hope you don’t mind my saying this, but you seem just a little out of sorts. And with that marvelous accent of yours, I simply have to know!”

He was a blink away from saying, “A galaxy far, far, away” when he realized that she an Equestrian, therefore a product of human imagination and a citizen of a world that shouldn’t be in existence. Not for him, at least. So he couldn’t very well tell her the truth. “Oh, I’m from a long way off. Outside of Equestria, even. I’m not used to the way things are done around here, but everyone is quite friendly. I do love it when people are friendly.”

“So little old Ponyville has gained a foreign traveler! How thrilling! Have you made anyone’s acquaintance yet?”

The recollections of his two newest acquaintances came with mixed feelings. “Two very nice mares, Pinkie Pie and Applejack I believe it was, but that’s all.”

“Two of my very best friends!”

Rather than continue the conversation in this vein, the Doctor chose to take an opportunity before they strayed into awkward territory. “Yes, um, there’s also something I do need to look into around here. Have you seen or experienced anything…odd here lately? Anything just slightly wrong, a pinch out of the ordinary, enough to make you do a double-take and wonder what’s off? Anything at all.”

“Whatever do you mean by odd, exactly?” She looked curiously around at him. “Are you some kind of…inspector?” With a bit of a horrified expression she looked around her beloved shop, probably searching for irregularities.

“Oh, you know, any old thing. Weird things in the atmosphere, maybe, perhaps any magical problems, little disturbances like that. As for being an inspector…” Well, it would make a nice premise. “…I’m….from the Department of Magical and Atmospheric Investigation! We just do little checkups around Equestria to make sure that all’s running as it should be. Nothing to worry about, promise.” Silently he congratulated himself on the name. Not too shabby in comparison with some of his other false identities, and he had his physic paper to back him up. It always helped to have a piece of paper reading whatever you wanted it to say.

“How intriguing! I’ve never heard of anything position such as that before. Well.” She “hmmed” as she sewed. “Well, my friend Fluttershy did mention that some of her animals were acting oddly; she lives near the Everfree forest and takes care of all sorts of creatures. Twilight said something about the stars being all wrong, but I assume that’s because she’s been tiring herself out with late night studies, poor thing, and she could easily be seeing things. Really, though, I’m not the best mare to ask about such things. I’m a girl of fashion, not of science.” Her soft little laughed played in the air again. Rarity smiled as she floated his garment over to him via magic. “Here you go, Doctor, it’s all finished up.”

He slipped back into the familiar old thing and a wide smile split his pony cheeks. “Oh, wonderful! Exactly what I needed.” he cried, slipping the screwdriver into the new pocket. Then he realized. Money. Why did he always have to forget money? So many planets and time periods, he never knew which currency was which anymore. He began searching his coat. What did ponies use to pay for things, anyway?

She picked up on the dilemma instantly. “Now, don’t you worry about a thing. It’s just a little sewing job, free of charge!” She tossed her mane grandly. “Take it as my welcome gift to Ponyville!”

He opened his mouth to reply. Apparently, she was now in full swing. “No, I won’t hear a word. I insist! And while I’m in the zone, Doctor dear, is there anything else you need?” Taking favors always made him feel at least some semblance of guilt. And he usually liked to go it alone and do things on his own. But there was one thing…

Rubbing a thoughtful hoof under his chin, he asked, “You wouldn’t happen to have any fezzes, would you?”

Ten minutes later, his head was graced with a red custom-made fez and he was feeling happier than ever since his arrival in Equestria. This time he wouldn’t let such a lovely article get shot off of his head. He stood in front of the fashionista’s tall shop mirror, admiring it.

“Oh, this. Is. Lovely! Thanks! It’s been so long since I have a fez, my friends didn’t like it when I wore one and really I don’t understand why, I think they’re cool.”

Rarity was studying her work with a mixture of doubt and pleasure. “I never thought I’d say this, but it does look quite fetching on a stallion such as yourself! Perhaps they could make a comeback…” She was staring at him with a worryingly intense sort of stare and he could practically see the gears whirring in her head. A gasp of discovery escaped her. “I...de...a!” He wouldn’t have been surprised if a light bulb had popped up over her head; but instead, she just giggled and pranced a bit on her marshmallow-white hooves.

“I’ve just had the most brilliant dash of inspiration! I usually don’t make stallion’s lines but oh, this is wonderful! A whole new line of menswear inspired by a bowtie and a fez, a mix of slightly whimsical and oh-so-dashing!” She squealed a little, forgetting her composure. “Oh, Doctor, you simply must let me use you as a model! You will, won’t you? Just wait here while I fetch some supplies,” she trilled as she rushed up the stairs.

The Doctor made a noise caught between a gasp and a groan. A model? Him? That would require standing still, and doing nothing, and hours of fashion! He shuddered, and without further ado, he turned tail and ran out the door. Once he was safely on the streets again, he was his grinning self once more. It was a rude thing to have done, but a Time Lord of nine hundred years was not going to stand for such an indignity.

Now he had two leads. Which one to try first? The stars being wrong sounded slightly more urgent than animals behaving strangely, but he could see a forest in the distance and it would easier to go after Fluttershy first knowing where she lived already. He trotted off in that direction, humming to himself and looking around, when a loud, shrill, frantic pony scream rent the pleasant hum of the marketplace chatter. It came from the direction of the trees.

Without a second thought, he tore in that direction. Ponies stared after the cloud of dust his thundering hooves left behind and wondered what gallant stallion was off to the rescue.

In less than a minute, the sound of anguished sobs reached his pony ears and he quickened his pace. He ran down a path that ambled lazily over several chattering brooks and through many a patch of brightly colored flowers, eventually nearing a cottage perched on a low, rolling knoll. The forest was its background.

The crying came from near a larger river that hugged the hillside and he pressed on, hoping dearly that nothing horrible had happened in such a pleasant place.

The sight that greeted his eyes nearly broke his heart. He was a tough Time Lord. Not much fazed him for long, very little could make him cry and even though he felt deeply he was always able to soldier on. But there was something about this weeping pegasus that tugged at his heartstrings. There, huddled by the waterside and shedding tears over the bodies of three lifeless bunnies, was a butter yellow pony with a mane and tail of soft pink.

3. Of Bunnies and Rainbows

Chapter Three

The pegasus mare looked up at last and saw the Doctor standing there on the path; she let out a soft, tearful “eep” and shrank a little closer to the bunnies. Presumably, she was Fluttershy.

He suddenly comprehended that he must look like a bit of an outlandish oddity, so he respectfully removed his fez, setting it on the ground. Instantly he was by her side and speaking gently. “Hey now, it’s alright. I’m the Doctor. I’m here to help.” He doubted whether there was anything he could do, but it was not his style to abandon those in distress.

She sniffed and gazed at him with huge, sea-colored eyes. Dark tracks made by tears wetted her cheeks and she looked absolutely miserable. Finally, she seemed to overcome her doubts about him.

“O-okay,” she whispered. “Please…is there anything…anything at all…?” she trailed off, glancing again at the critters and hiding behind her mane. Her voice was barely audible.

Quietly and slowly, in order not disturb the skittish mare, he bent over the trio of bunnies. They were wet and bedraggled, their fur sticking out at crazy angles. He carefully shifted each one with a hoof. There was no response. Out came his screwdriver. He swept it over each body, willing the device to gather the correct data. There could be no doubt; they had drowned.

Finally, he turned his gaze to her. Just a tiny flicker of hope had been kindled in those eyes, but it died when she saw his expression. “I’m very, very sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry, but…I’m too late. There’s nothing I can do.” He sighed. What good was it being the “Doctor” if he seemed to lose so many lives? They were only rabbits to him, but to this pony, they had evidently been friends and cherished creatures.

She gave a little cry and burst into a fresh wave of sobs, putting her face in her hooves. The Doctor knew what to do. Without saying a word, he placed a hoof over her shoulders and stood silently. For a long time the pair was motion less by the riverside, the hush punctuated only by the muffled sound of weeping and the chattering of the river water as it rushed by. He didn’t know the direct reason for the three bunnies being so dear to her, but it didn’t matter for the moment.

At last, she sniffled a few times, wiped her eyes and spoke in a broken little voice. “They were just starting to get better,” she said, looking off into the distance. “They were all very sick and they had recently started coming around…” He knew she was only half speaking to him.

He removed him hoof. “Were they very close to you?” he asked quietly.

She nodded. “Two brothers and one sister of my friend Angel Bunny.” With a little whimper, she gulped back more tears.

“And Angel is…special?”

Another nod. “I take care of a lot of animals, and all of them come and go, but…Angel’s never left me. I’ve known him since he was a tiny little rabbit and I understand him better than any other critter. He’s going to be so upset when I…when I b-break the n-news.” The Doctor looked at her flank and saw three pink butterflies. A trend was beginning to surface, he thought. Pinkie had boasted party balloons and she was clearly a hyperactive party mare. Rarity had sported gems and she was a fashionista whose store had contained several gem-encrusted garments. This mare had butterflies, saying she took care of animals. Perhaps they were an indication of certain talents? He thought about his hourglass mark and wondered.

But now was not the time for that. “Listen, what’s your name?”

She glanced at him again for the first time in a while, and now she seemed to grasp that she had been conversing with a complete stranger. “F-Fluttershy,” she murmured, her voice sinking low again.

He laid down (or was it sitting? Or both?) on the ground in front of her and assumed a kind but firm expression. “Now, Fluttershy, you’re going to have to be strong for me. I know it’s rough, really I do. I’m not asking you to do this just yet, but soon I’m going to need you to tell me exactly how this happened. I’ve been doing a bit of investigating around here and it’s important. But not yet. Not so soon. First, I’d like you to tell me if there’s a special place where you’d like to…lay your friends to rest. Remember, I’m the Doctor. I want to help.”

For a few moments, she was silently. Then she gave a tiny nod and he saw a new strength in her eyes, the strength to overcome grief. “I…I can do that. Okay. Um, there’s a place nearby, it’s down in a little hollow where the river branches off into a stream. That’s where I lay all of my lost friends…” She gulped. “…to rest.”

“Would you be so kind as to show me there?”

Fluttershy lifted the three bodies with all the tender care of a mother and placed them on his back, at his request. It appeared to be the pony style of carrying things if one had no saddlebags. They were light and felt like feathers on his back. She glided over to her house and came wordlessly back, holding a shovel in her hooves.

Together the pair set off for the hollow, not speaking but instead simply taking part in each other’s company. The sober feeling of the occasion rested heavily on both of them; Fluttershy flew a feet off the ground, kept her eyes downcast and sniffed every now and then, while the Doctor stared ahead and tried to keep his mind from straying to the many, many friends he had lost. Nine hundred years was a long time to live. The fact that he had spent so many of those years in the company of humans, and other species that died young, had rendered the pain of a friend’s passing a frequent thing. He could sympathize with the pegasus.

The animal graveyard came into view as they left the main river behind and went down a grassy slope. A foot-wide stream bubbled merrily along its grassy edge. Small stones in neat rows protruded from the ground, each one marked with neat letters spelling out the fallen animal’s name. Flowers poked their way through the turf here and there, completing the restful feeling of peace. There was an open space at one end where Fluttershy began to dig.

He raised a hoof. “Here,” he coaxed, “let me.” He took the spade and began to do the work himself. The yellow pegasus opened her mouth to say something, closed it again and trotted off, quietly searching the banks for suitable stones.

It took some maneuvering and experimentation to figure out how to use a shovel with hooves, but he managed it. Thankfully, he did not have to use his mouth. The work was not too strenuous; he was only digging graves for bunnies, after all and by the time Fluttershy had gathered the headstones he had three rabbit-sized holes ready in the ground. They looked at each other and nodded. She picked up the bodies one by one and lowered them gently into their graves. He put up his hoof in a salute as she did so. He didn’t know why, it simply felt appropriate.

The Doctor used the shovel once more to fill in the graves. She placed the markers at each tomb’s head and they stood in a moment of silence. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a single tear slide down Fluttershy’s cheek, the sunlight glinting on that one droplet and intensifying the feeling it expressed. The smell of freshly turned earth played sharp in his nostrils and he suddenly took it all in; I just dug bunny graves for a Pegasus I’ve never met before. He did not resent this. No, in a way it was rather fantastic, new experiences always were, but it was also heartrending at the same time. He doubted he would have done it for any old person. There was simply an air of kind and gentle innocence about the pegasus; it had made him want to help her.

Her voice shook him from his thoughts. “Um, Doctor? Listen…thank you…thank you for everything this afternoon. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come.” She gave him the tiniest of smiles. Considering the way she was feeling, he deemed that the greatest of rewards. “You said that you wanted me to tell you happened? I-I think I’m ready to now. If you don’t mind, can we go back to my cottage? I don’t think I can do it here. I’ll come back later to mark…to mark the stones.” Looking away, she hoofed at the ground. “If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

He assured her that it was indeed okay and they wound their way back up the path. Of course, he didn’t forget to retrieve his fez on the way. He was somewhat relieved that Fluttershy didn’t pry into his life and past with questions, and that around her the quiet was anything but awkward.

They arrived and as soon as she opened the door, animals bombarded their adopted mother. Apologetically, she told him he could sit on the couch while she tended to a few of their needs. Here a new dilemma presented itself: how to sit. He stared at the couch, a low-slung green affair with plump cushions, and jumped on it. With his back legs dangling and his front ones at his sides, he sat like a biped, but that felt extremely strange. He tried a variety of other positions, falling off the couch several times, before settling on a dog-like posture that was the most natural. Thankfully, Fluttershy noticed none of this. She was too busy with her critters. He was comforted to notice that caring for them appeared to take her mind off the recent tragedy.

Ever the fascinated viewer, the Doctor drank his fill of the sights while muttering under his breath to himself. Beautiful birdhouses and cages, clearly hoof-carved and hoof-wrought with extreme care, hung from the rafters that supported the turf-life roof. There were strategically placed holes in the wall for mice and such, while rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, all sorts of small creatures hopped in and out of hutches on the floor. Fluttershy went into a door leading into the kitchen and returned with a bag of bird seed in her hooves. She flew to each house and cage in turn, feeding the occupants and humming as she did so. Some of the birds looked ill or injured and these she spoke a few words of comfort to. Then she attended to each hutch. Every separate species got a refill of its food, and he watched in fascination as she changed the bandages on a tiny raccoon with a broken leg.

“That’s just fantastic!” he exclaimed as she finished up and settled down on a chair opposite him.

She titled her head at him. “What is, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“All of this! What you do, it’s really quite spectacular. No one’s telling you to do it but you take care of each and every animal here like they’re your family. It’s really quite…amazing.” Humans never ceased to amaze him, and now it seemed ponies would do the same.

She blushed heavy and hid a smile behind her mane. “Oh, it’s nothing really. It’s what I love to do the most. Although lately, some of the animals have been acting so strangely…thank goodness they’re all okay now.”

“What do you mean, strangely?” He rubbed at his mane, mussing it up with his hoof and knocking the fez askew. “Now, don’t you think I’m just someone prying and asking questions, because someone who pries is just boring. I don’t like being boring, really I don’t. I’m, ehm, investigating odd happenings around Equestria. Generally we keep it to magical fields of study and other related things, but really we only want to make sure everything runs smoothly so anything can count. I try not to act too official because, again, boring!” He gave her an awkward grin.

For a second, he was afraid that she wouldn’t accept this. But she nodded. “If you say so. It’s fine with me. Anyway, about their behavior, well…the biggest instance was with the three bunnies.” The catch in her timid little voice showed she had not gotten over her loss, but went bravely on. “They had all been very sick and feverish, but they were starting to perk up and move around again. They played a little together and were eating more. Then, just today, all three suddenly seemed to go…wild. They had so much energy for recovering little bunnies, and they were running around the house and upsetting all the other little animals. It was as if they didn’t even know what they were doing. Their eyes…they didn’t look right. Then, before I could stop them, they all climbed up on the furniture and jumped out the window. They must have lost their heads, because they ran right in the direction, and…the current was too strong. I couldn’t get here in time.”

He broke the ensuing silence. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy. I’m so, so sorry. That’s a terrible thing to have happened.”

She shot him grateful glance. “Thank you.” Clearing her throat, she kept speaking. “But that was the worst time. Other things have happened, though.”

“Like what?”

“Nothing too specific, but…some of the birds will be flying around, and then they’ll all of a sudden lose control. A few of them have gotten injured from hitting objects when that happens. It’s so odd. Then one day, some of my squirrels who were the best of little buddies starting fighting each other for no reason. They were going crazy. I had to separate the poor dears and put them in opposite hutches or they could’ve gotten hurt. The same thing happened with some of the chipmunks.”

“The other big thing is that some of the critters seem to have problems with their identities at random times. They’ll try to take each other’s food or act like each other. I’ve had mice jumping off furniture trying to fly and birds trying to fit into mouse holes. Bunnies will try to eat nuts and squirrels will try to eat the rabbit’s carrots. They’re all sort of small problems, but adding it all up, it does make me worry.”

“Now don’t you fret. The Doctor is here, and trust me, I want to help set thing right.” And figure out if any of this weirdness has any connection to me, he added mentally.

Fluttershy opened her mouth to reply, but she never got there. An unexpected, loud crash sent the birds into panicked flight and the grounded animals into a mad scramble. She and the Doctor looked up in surprise to see a blue pony head poking through a new hole in the roof, one graced with rose-colored eyes and a flamingly vibrant rainbow mane.

That face looked sheepish. “Uh…Sorry, Shy. New trick didn’t work out so well. I kinda lost my control there.” She caught sight of the Doctor. “Hey, I haven’t seen you before. Who’s the new guy?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but perhaps it would be best if you removed yourself from the roof before we go through with the introductions, hm?”

“Oh. Right. Heh.” With a grunt and a strong tug, she managed to extricate herself. A second later the mare strutted through the front door.

“Don’t worry, Fluttershy, I’ll definitely come back and fix that. My bad,” she said, glancing at the hole. The mare, who was a pegasus as well, was the most tomboyish one he had seen in Ponyville so far. Her mane and tail were spiked, her mark was a rainbow lightning bolt shooting out of a cloud, and she had an athlete’s build.

“Oh, that’s okay Rainbow,” Fluttershy replied meekly. “As long as it’s not there for too long.”

“So, mister, who’s the new face in Ponyville?” the blue pony asked casually.

“Oh, me? I’m the Doctor, just the Doctor, nothing else but. Who’re you?” He straightened his fez and beamed.

She raised a skeptical eyebrow, taking in his appearance. (Wait. Ponies had eyebrows? Could they really-no, bad, that was a train of thought for another time.) “Just the Doctor…right. Me, I’m Rainbow Dash! The one, the only, the awesome.” Her wings flared open and she flicked her mane out her eyes with a hoof. “So, what’s brought you to Fluttershy’s place?”

The Doctor glanced at the pony in question, who lowered her blue eyes and stared at the floor. “There was an accident today with three of my bunnies and the river. The Doctor h-helped me take care of it.”

Rainbow clearly understood the meaning. She moved over and put a hood on her friend’s shoulder. “Aw, Shy, that’s so terrible. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks Rainbow. I’m okay now thanks to the Doctor.” Fluttershy flapped her wings open and gracefully flew to each bird, coaxing them back into their houses, leaving the other two on the ground to converse.

Dash was clearly still bemused by his getup. “What’s brought you to Ponyville? No offense or anything, but I’ve totally never seen anyone dressed like you before.”

“I’m from a long way away,” he answered enigmatically. “From a place where fezzes are cool. What’s brought you to Fluttershy’s roof?”

She perked up. “I was practicing one of my newest flight tricks! I want to get into the Wonderbolts. They’re my favorite flight team and my new moves are sure to knock them flat!” But then she looked depressed, her ears drooping. “I can’t seem to pull it off, though. I always end up crashing into somepony’s roof.” She snickered, a little self-consciously.

“Roof…the roof…ah!” He could almost feel the light bulb go off above his head. “I’ve had a great idea, no, a brilliant idea! Listen, I’m not going to explain this now, it would take too long, but long story short I’m a bit of an investigator. I look into…stuff. Do you think you could get me up onto the roof?”

Rainbow blinked at him several times. “Uh…the roof?”

“Yes. The roof. Of course the roof! You crashing into gave me an idea. My job around here is looking into the odd stuff so why not get higher up to look for the odd stuff?”

Her look suggested he was insane. Which, of course, he was. “I…guess I could. I don’t get it, but hey, it can be done. I’ll need Shy’s help though.” To emphasize that last point, she yelled up, “Hey, Fluttershy! Could ya gimmie a hoof? Doc here says he needs to get on the roof for whatever loony reason.”

The two pegasi were baffled, but the Doctor offered no explanation. Their combined strength (although Dash certainly offered more) was enough to lift him up off the ground and to the top of the cottage.

The mares stood on the ground, watching in bemusement as he climbed to the highest point next to the weather vane.

“Oh please be careful, please be careful!” Fluttershy kept saying.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve climbed way higher than this before! It’s just a matter of keeping your foo-I mean, hoofing!” He withdrew his screwdriver and pressed its button, aiming at the sky and in all directions. The sun was beginning to set.

“Hey Doc, what’s that glowing thing you got there?” Rainbow hollered.

“Ish mer surnic scurdruver!”

“What?”

He spat it into his hoof. Oh, how he hated having to operate it with his mouth. “It’s my sonic screwdriver!”

“Oh! Uh…okay!”

The thing in question was telling interesting things. Most unusual things. He kept up a running monologue. “Well that’s weird, I’m detecting a massive disturbance up there. But that’s up there, way up in the sky. What could be up in the sky? I doubt the humans gave this world spaceships, I mean, doesn’t seem to fit with the time period.” He pressed the button of the screwdriver again. He spat it out once more. “And what’s more, it’s a sort of time and space disturbance, too, not just an atmospheric one. But that doesn’t make much sense. Or does it?”

“Doctor, what are you saying? I can’t quite hear you!” Fluttershy’s voice jarred him from his rant.

“Nothing important! Just talking to myself!” He reared back, screwdriver sweeping, trying to pinpoint the exact place of the disturbance. He replaced the device. “It’s no good, I need some sort of telescope. Maybe I can-” He stretched himself as far as he would go. It was a precarious position, teetering on his hind legs and gazing at the sky. “Can’t see a thing, blast it all-whoawhoawhoa!” He lost his balance, tipped over and fell off the roof.

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy shrieked.

Luckily, the cottage wasn’t too tall, and the grass of Equestria was surprising soft and springy. Smacking into it wasn’t the most fun thing, but at least he was still alive despite being temporarily winded.

“You okay?” Dash asked anxiously, speeding over and standing by him.

“Please say you’re not hurt!” Fluttershy looked stricken.

“Oh..ow..okay…ugh.” He shifted about in his place on the ground. “Nothing broken, that’s a surprise, but very nice. I think I’m just going to be a bit bruised. No, very bruised. But that’s okay.”

“What were you up there for, anyway? If you don’t mind saying that is.”

He didn’t really hear the yellow pony’s question. He was staring at the sunset skies instead, thinking hard. “I’ve just learned something interesting. Something very interesting…something timey-wimey…do either of you know where I could find a telescope?”

4. My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhhh...

Chapter Four

Both pegasi blinked at him in unified confusion.

“A telescope.” Rainbow finally asked. “You just fell off a roof and you want a telescope?” The degree of disbelief in her expression had increased throughout the evening and now her look suggested he was insane. He was, of course, so it wasn’t a problem.

Fluttershy peered anxiously at him. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Well, yes! I’m definitely, assuredly alright.” The Doctor jumped to his feet (no, hooves) and shook himself, sending little clumps of dirt flying from his coat. Then he winced a little; his body ached in various places. His fez lay on the ground a few feet away. He trotted over, picked it up and replaced it at a jaunty angle on his head, ignoring the stabbing pain of several bruises. “I mean, the things I’ve just discovered, I’ve got to get a closer look! And I’m perfectly chipper, just look at me. Still moving!”

“Um, well, I know where you can find one. A telescope, I mean” Fluttershy tilted her head. “Our friend Twilight Sparkle is sure to have one in the town library, but it’s getting rather late…” She looked off toward the setting sun.

“Well, that’s when people use telescopes, isn’t it? Looking at the stars and all that?” He didn’t want another delay. He wanted to charge directly into this investigation.

“You don’t know Twilight.” Dash snickered. “That egghead gets so into her experiments and books, she can stay up all night with ‘em.” Seriousness replaced jest. “Seriously, Doc, I’d leave her alone tonight. She told me today to stay away from the library tonight in case I, uh…crash into it.”

His face fell. “Oh, but I was so looking forward to meeting her!” He paused. “Did you say library? Does she live in a library? I’d love to live in a library.”

“Oh yes, she studies there and acts as the town librarian,” Fluttershy told him. “But she’s a very dedicated researcher there and sometimes she likes everypony to keep out of her way. Which is fine, of course. Tonight she said she’s conducting a very important experiment. She gets very upset when she’s interrupted, you know.”

Sighing a long, peevish sigh, he shrugged. Or tried to. It ended up being more of a strange jerking motion of his pony shoulders. “Ah well. I suppose it’ll have to wait until tomorrow, which is a bit of a shame but I suppose it’ll have to do.” In truth, he very much hated having to put off his search; for him, being stopped in the middle of something important was like tripping, faceplanting, and being injured from the fall. “I guess I ought to be getting on, then. Busy day, it’s got to end sometime. I’m afraid I have to leave your lovely little home now, Fluttershy.”

The pegasus in question smiled broadly and blushed a little. “Thank you so much, again, for everything you’ve done for me today. I mean, you’re new in town and you helped me like…like an old friend.” She dropped her head a little and used her mane as a shield.

In turn, the Doctor grinned widely. “Oh, it was no problem, no problem at all. Always glad to help someone!”

They exchanged goodbyes. Rainbow announced that if the Doctor was going back through town, she could fly alongside him as her home was in the same direction. Even though she clearly regarded him as some kind of crazy quack, she behaved affably enough toward him and didn’t seem to mind his presence. He affirmed that he was going that way and they set off. Fluttershy stood on the little hilltop in front of their door, waving goodbye as one flying pony and one grounded Doctor headed for Ponyville.

The sun at the pair’s backs was but a red slip over the edge of the horizon, still tingeing the sky with its crimson dye, and faint wisps of pink and orange still lingered among the clouds. Night was coming on. Rainbow Dash flew more or less at his side, but frequently she made a sudden ascent to the clouds, pulling a few tricks before drifting back down towards the ground again. He envied her moves. What rotten luck that he had turned out an Earth Pony! But he shouldn’t think that, he reminded himself. That was rude. Earth ponies were nice.

“So, Rainbow,” he asked conversationally, “have you noticed anything out of the ordinary lately in Ponyville?”

She braked in mid-air and looked down at him. “Other than a new pony with a fez and a bowtie?” She snorted, then looked slightly shamefaced. “Sorry. How d’you mean, out of the ordinary?”

“Anything! I’ve been talking to some of the lovely ponies in this place about it. Like I said before, I’m a sort of a general investigator. Looking for oddities. Not ones like me, but things that just aren’t right. I say I come from department about magical and atmospheric conditions but that sounds so stuffy. Fluttershy told me her animals were acting extraordinarily odd. Things like that.”

She rubbed a blue hoof under her chin. “Atmospheric, huh? Sounds like weather to me. And I’m glad someone’s finally asked, ‘cause boy has the weather been acting up lately!” Randomly, she shot off into a couple of seamless loop-de-loops, then she came back down again. “My weather team and I have got stray storms, random thunderclouds shooting lighting and damaging houses, freak rainstorms and windy, gusty days that were scheduled to be perfect. Even I can’t deal with all this on my hooves, Doc, and that’s saying something!”

“Isn’t the weather supposed to behave rather…you know, randomly? I mean, I know you can predict some things, but it’s never spot on.” He shook his head, muttering, “Weather forecasters…” Stars began showing their twinkling faces in the heavens above and he tilted his face back to get a good look at them.

She flew down and hovered just above him. He looked down from the sky to find her face, its features plastered with incredulity, less than a foot from his. “What kinda crazy town are you from?”

“What do you mean?” He took a step back.

“Everypony knows that the weather in Equestria is controlled by weather pegasi. It goes how we want it to! But lately it hasn’t been and nopony likes it when things get off schedule. I get blamed for everything!” She sighed. Bits of different-colored mane flew up out of her face. Then she fixed him with a penetrating stare. “I don’t get you. Why don’t you know that?”

“Oh, I come from far away. I told you. So ridiculously far away that the weather does what it wants. No one controls it.” His mind was reeling. Staggering. Drunkenly stumbling. So many new things to learn! But really? Weather ponies? That just sounded too wonderfully perfect to him. What was it like, he mused, to live permanently in such a structured world?

Her eyes opened very wide. “You gotta take me to see that sometime. Sounds…kind of awesome, actually. Although I bet nothing beats Ponyville,” she added smugly.

“Ponyville is lovely, certainly! I’m just so very new to it all. So tell me more about these anomalies you’ve been having, and remember I’m a new guy in town who knows nothing about weather ponies!” He wanted to know everything. All of the details, all of the—oh, dear, it seemed they were already walking through Ponyville. How had that happened? Soon he would be on the path leading to the hill that housed his blue box. If he couldn’t badger Twilight, he might as well get back to the Tardis for the night.

By now, the Doctor could tell that Rainbow Dash was always eager for an audience. Eagerly she launched into her story. “Well, the worst thing that happened was just this morning. Today was supposed to be a bright, sunny day, where the pegasi move all the clouds out of the sky for the day. But get this: there was a freak storm right after the sun came up! These big black clouds started gathering in the sky and it was the works; thunder, lightning, really bad rain and wind. We thought we were going to have to call in a backup team but it cleared itself up, right when I was about to charge into the center and tackle the storm clouds! Just like that, all by itself, it was gone. Crazy, huh? And that’s not all.” She went on to tell him about a few other incidents.

“Indeed, very crazy!” Her story struck him in such a way that he felt as though someone has hit his mind with a brick. Fluttershy’s worst incident with the animals had been that morning. Rainbow’s encounter with the runaway storm had been that morning. He had arrived that morning. He was about to shout something about revelations when he saw that they were through Ponyville and that Rainbow had stopped flying.

“This is where I leave ya, Doctor. My cloud house is just above here.”

“How did that happen? What a quick walk. Well, Rainbow, I must say it was a great pleasure meeting you! Good luck to you with your out-of-control weather. I’m staying, er, a little way out of town, so I’ll be on my way as well.”

“Nice meeting you, too. I always like to see a new face here in Ponyville. See you around!” With that, the prismatic Pegasus pony (try saying that three times fast—he almost attempted it) shot directly up into the sky towards a silhouette that vaguely resembled a house. Horses living in cloud houses. Who’d have thought? He chuckled to himself as he trotted up the hill to his beloved time machine.

Her voice stopped him and he turned around. “Hey, Doctor!” she yelled, zipping back towards earth.

“Yes?” he asked as she skidded to a mid-air halt.

“Doctor Who?” she asked curiously.

Not that question again. “I’ve told you. Just the Doctor.”

“Are you sure it’s not like, Doctor Whooves or something?” she replied, grinning.

“Yes, I am definitely sure.”

“….Okay, fine then. See you!” She turned and flew off again.

When he opened the door to his Tardis and went inside, he suddenly felt sad. Here he was, alone again. All of Ponyville was heading off to sleep and dream, while he was as restless as ever with no one to talk to. What could he do all night?

He glanced up. He had left the screen glowing with the information about Equestria, and three words caught his eye: My Little Pony.

He smiled lopsidedly. Why not? It might help him learn more about the wonderful world that was Equestria.

Intergalactic cable was certainly a nice luxury. He rarely indulged in television, though. Alien shows could be quite intriguing at times, but why not meet the aliens themselves? Now, it was the perfect thing to have. He searched for a remote. It took some time to find, what with the Tardis being rather colossal on the inside; eventually he located it and settled down to watch My Little Pony on his screen. Furtively he glanced about; then he smacked himself mentally. Who was there to see him watch a TV show that was probably made for little girls? No one. Besides, he was long past caring if people thought he was out of his mind and childish.

“Here we go. Season one, episode one!” He hit play. Well, it took several attempts, as hooves were not as dexterous as fingers, but he managed it.

A storybook setting with a storybook narrator opened the episode. “Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn.”

He blinked.

“The younger brought out the moon to begin the night.”

He flung out his hooves to express his disbelief. The remote flew from his hoof and clattered away on the floor. “What? No. Don’t be ridiculous, that’s hardly possible!” He got up, found the remote, rewound a bit and listened to the elegant voice of the narrator retell the beginning of the story. “Ponies control the weather, ponies control the sun and the moon,” he murmured to himself. “Hardly a very foolproof system. What kind of respectable sun lets a little old pony fiddle with it? Not that I haven’t heard of strange things, but--” He was talking to himself extensively again. He sighed and kept watching.

The family feud played out. Nightmare Moon came into being and was promptly locked away by her older sister with the help of the Elements of Harmony. “Harsh, very harsh!” he cried, pointing a hoof at the TV. That was hardly what he called a good solution to the problem. “Well, at least she tried to reason with her.”

“The elder sister took on responsibility for both sun and moon, and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.” The shot of the book zoomed out to show a purple unicorn speculating on the Elements of Harmony. The Doctor was scoffing. “You’ve got the foundations for a backstory yes, but details! Give me some details!” Nevertheless, he could not tear himself away.

The show cut to the opening theme song. “My little pony, my little pony, ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhhhhhh….” Oh dear. This was going to be quite girly, wasn’t it?

With shock, he saw that every mare besides the purple one in the opening sequence was one of the ponies he had met today. Big adventure, tons of fun, a beautiful heart, faithful and strong, sharing kindness. Well, that seemed to fit with the five unique mares of that day; evidently, he had become acquainted with important characters. The theme song, however girly, was oddly charming.

The lavender mare was introduced as Twilight Sparkle. He started and paid closer attention. This was the mare he was due to meet tomorrow, after all. He watched her run to the library, behave rather bossily towards poor little Spike, look for information on the Elements of Harmony and send a letter to the almighty Princess Celestia.

“Princess Celestia indeed! I’d like to meet this controller-of-the-very-sun-and-moon!” However, the ruler did not appear and sent Twilight to Ponyville. Via letter. How rude! Slowly but surely, she met each of the ponies he had encountered today. He was convinced that the show was greatly overblowing their characters to make them seem obnoxious and odd at the first viewing. Although, the meetings were not unlike the ones he had had that day. (Except for the bunnies, though. They wouldn’t put something like that in a kid’s show.) He shoved the memory of that away.

He nodded in understanding at Pinkie Pie’s odd form of gasp-and-run greeting, his head ached a little at Applejack’s high energy, he rolled his eyes as Rainbow crashed into Twilight. He shrank back a little from Rarity’s overbearing obsession with fashion and felt incredibly sorry for the scared little pegasus that was Fluttershy.

“All the ponies in this town are crazy!” Twilight shouted at one point.

“Well, yes, I agree with you there. But why are you so opposed to making friends? Friends are fantastic! They’re great things to have!” he yelled back, frustrated.

He shook his head when Princess Celestia failed to show up (“where is Miss High-and-Mighty sun princess, anyhow?”) and yelled that he knew it when Nightmare Moon appeared instead.

Then the episode ended. In the standard flashes of dramatic lightning amid a bout of evil laughter, of course.

The Doctor shot another guilty sort of glance around the room and went onto the next. “Onward!”

He found himself getting more and more interested in the story as the plot unfolded. Wandering into a dark, scary, unknown forest to find an old, ruined castle in order to locate ancient magic that might not exist to stop a possessed nightmare from shrouding Equestria in eternal night? He so wished he could have been there. Predictably, the ponies became better friends as they overcame various trials. He had expected as much; they had all been familiar with each other when he had met them, so they had to have become pals at some point. He yelled different bits of advice and encouragement at them as they went on.

When Twilight revealed that each of her new friends was an Element of Harmony, he facehoofed. “Duh! You couldn’t have figured that out before? The show even hinted at it! Several times! Argh!”

He cheered aloud when they vanquished the Nightmare and brought back Luna. “Predictable but lovely! Oh, yes!” He stopped and put a hoof to his mouth. A wide, toothy grin spread behind it. “Oh, well. I’ve got all night anyway.” Sure, there were some holes in the story of Equestria, but he had learned a thing or two. He needed to whittle away the hours somehow and he had to admit it; the show was enjoyable.

He pressed the “Play Next” button.