"What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!"by Strawberry SunriseChaptersAn Unfortunate MisprintAt the Bottom of a WellPreparations for a Break-InThe Best-Laid PlansThe RevealJust a HumanUber DiscordOff-Roading with TwilightRestaurant RendezvousTrust IssuesA Secret MessageEavesdroppingNot Really ApplejackThe True RevealA Rescue AttemptAn Angry RantTicket TroublesDown a Well AgainA Visit to Camp EverfreeReturn to PonyvilleA Long WalkChange-ling the PastThe Real Apple FamilyThe EndAn Unfortunate MisprintAuthor's Note I originally wrote this entire story in a few hours toward the end of last November as a freewriting exercise where the goal was to do NaPoWriMo as quickly as possible. While I could in theory have been on track to make it, I opted to wrap things up early at around ten thousand words and subsequently decided not to publish it. Now, after a bit more thought and only slight editing (the sometimes unpolished style was largely intentional), I've decided to present it here in its mostly original form. Don't expect a lot, but hopefully you'll like it well enough! An Unfortunate Misprint Once upon a time, there was an alicorn named Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle lived in a town called Ponyville, where she had many friends. Among these friends were, in no particular order, a pegasus named Rainbow Dash, a pegasus named Fluttershy, a unicorn named Rarity, an earth pony named Applejack, and an earth pony named Pinkie Pie. She also had a friend named Spike, who was a dragon. And of course, she had other friends, too, like Moondancer and Celestia and Luna and so on, but those were the main ones. One day, Twilight decided that she needed to buy a new book for her library. “I don’t have enough books in my library,” she thought. “I need fifty thousand and three and I only have fifty thousand and two.” So Twilight went to the store and started looking at the books. The first book she looked at was “How to Water Your Garden” by Horsey McHorseface. The next book she looked at was “The Rise and Fall of the Griffon Empire” by Stallion McNabb. And finally, she looked at the book “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She felt compelled to buy this last book for some reason, despite not even having read the blurb on the back cover or anything. So she did. When she got back to her house, she started to read “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. Unfortunately, it turned out that all of the pages were blank except for page three hundred eighty-seven, which had the word “Sucker!” on it. She was perplexed. She had been sure that it would be an interesting book, but it seemed that the publishing company must have misprinted it and mistakenly caused it to only say “Sucker!” and nothing else. So she decided to call the publishing company. “Hello, this is Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said, calling from her cell phone. She would often make calls late at night, but today, she did it in the afternoon because she figured that the publishing company probably wouldn’t have anypony taking calls at night. “I bought the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson from the store down in Ponyville and I was disappointed to see that it did not have a story. It only said the word ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and that was it.” “We’re very sorry to hear that,” the pony on the other line said. “May I ask who’s calling?” “I told you, I’m Twilight. Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said. “Why does it matter?” “So we can make a note that we need to send you a new copy,” the pony on the other line said. “Now, could we please get your address and your credit card number?” Twilight, who was very confused, gave them this information. “Thank you,” the pony on the other line said, and hung up. Little did Twilight know that she had just made a horrible mistake. But that won’t come up again until later. Still confused, but satisfied that she would be getting a new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson soon enough, she decided to go see what Applejack was doing. At the Bottom of a WellWhen Twilight woke up, she was at the bottom of the well. Or at least she assumed that was where she must be. Luckily, she had somehow managed to not sustain any injuries other than the bump on her head from where she had banged it. She lit up the area with her magic and realized that she couldn’t see the top of the well anymore. “Wow, this well must be deeper than I thought,” she thought. Mentally shrugging, she started flying up, figuring that she’d get to a point where the top could be seen eventually. Suddenly, she banged her head again. Looking up, she realized she had hit some kind of ceiling. There was no hole above her. “What? Where am I?” Twilight wondered. Apparently she was no longer in the well, but she was certainly in some kind of underground cavern. “Hey, the pony is awake,” said a voice from somewhere in the distance. Suddenly several gems all over the walls of the cavern lit up and she it was clear that she was in a gem mine. A Diamond Dog was in the distance looking at her. “Why am I here?” Twilight asked. “We found you at the bottom of a well and noticed that your head was injured,” the Diamond Dog said. “So we thought we’d take care of you until you were better.” Twilight noticed for the first time that the back of her head had been wrapped in a bandage. “Well…thank you,” Twilight said. “No problem,” the Diamond Dog said. “After our last encounter with ponies all those years ago, we decided to be nicer. Being mean and trying to make ponies do what we wanted didn’t really get us anywhere, so we turned over a new leaf.” A couple other Diamond Dogs joined them from elsewhere. “Wait, are you the Diamond Dogs that kidnapped Rarity a long time ago?” Twilight asked. “Yes, we’re those Diamond Dogs,” the Diamond Dogs said. “Tell her ‘sorry’ the next time you see her, alright?” “Sure,” Twilight said. “Thanks again. But wait, how did you find me at the bottom of the well?” “Oh, our gem cavern goes right through that well,” one of them said. “It’s been dry for a long time and we happened to dig through it a few months ago.” “Cool,” Twilight said. “Now how do I get out of here?” “Aren’t you going to repay us first?” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “What?” Twilight said. “We helped you. Now you’re going to help us find some gems, right?” the Diamond Dog who had just spoken said. “I mean…I guess I could,” Twilight said, realizing again that she had forgotten that she could just teleport away whenever she wanted to. She didn’t really like that they seemed to be trying to extort her, but she was grateful that they had tried to help, even if they did hope to get something out of it. Twilight cast a gem-finding spell, setting it for only the biggest gems – at least 63-carat – and set off through the cavern. Several twists and turns later and one big blast to the wall and she had uncovered the jackpot. The cavern she had found was full of a massive number of huge gems. “Here you go!” she said. “But please don’t take all of them. Rarity would probably like to have some of these, too.” “Wow,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. They hadn’t expected to get that good of a haul from Twilight. Maybe just a few gems at best. “Sure, we can share with Rarity.” “Great!” Twilight said. “Well, anyway, I’ve got to go now.” “Here, take this,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “I think we owe you something now.” He was holding a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “Wow, thanks!” Twilight said. Even though she knew she was going to get a new copy from the publishing company soon, she still loved getting books. And getting this copy now meant that she could read it that much sooner. She took it gratefully. “Yeah, we found it at the bottom of the well, too. Somecreature must have dropped it,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “I can’t read, but I thought you might like it since you like books.” “Wait, how did you know that?” Twilight asked. “Oh, I just heard through the grapevine that you used to live in a library,” the Diamond Dog who had just spoken said. “Well, it’s true! I did used to live in a library!” Twilight said, and smiled. Then her smile fell. She was still sad that the Golden Oaks Library was gone, even all this time later. But then she smiled again. She still had lots of happy memories of it, and those could never be taken away from her. Or at least, she hoped they would never be taken away from her. Memory-erasing spells were a thing. Little did she know that they would be used on her later on. But not yet. “Anyway, see you later!” Twilight said. “Remember to share those gems with Rarity!” “We will!” the Diamond Dogs said in unison. And Twilight teleported back to the surface. Preparations for a Break-InTwo hours later, Twilight had rounded up the rest of the Mane Six, plus Ember the Dragon Lord, who was unsure why she was there. Nopony else was sure, either, not even Twilight, but Twilight started the debriefing anyway. “Okay, everypony! I mean everycreature! We have a mission! We need to break into the publishing company and delete my phone message before they hear it. I’m going to get a new copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson from them and I don’t want my swearing to ruin it!” “I got a copy of that book, too,” Rainbow Dash said. “It just said ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven. I think it was a scam.” But Twilight wasn’t listening. “Okay, Fluttershy! I need you to distract the alligators in the moat around the publishing company building!” Fluttershy nodded. “Applejack! I need you to get us an apple tree to use as a battering ram to break down the publishing company’s doors!” Applejack looked confused, but nodded. “Rarity! I need you to seduce the guards so that nopony sees us coming!” Rarity smiled and tossed her mane. “Rainbow Dash! When we get in, I’ll need you to search the building and find the answering machine. You’re the fastest, so you should be able to find it the most quickly!” Rainbow Dash saluted. “Pinkie Pie! I need you to do your…Pinkie Pie thing. Help Rainbow Dash find the book by using your Pinkie sense!” Pinkie nodded. “And Ember, I need you to…uh…why are you here again?” “I don’t know,” Ember said. “I was just walking through town and then you decided to hold this meeting right where I was walking at.” “Oh,” Twilight said. “Well, you’ve got to, uh, rally the dragons to create a distraction just in case we need one when we’re escaping the publishing company!” “Okay…” Ember said. It was something to do, she supposed. “Then we're ready!” Twilight said. The Best-Laid PlansThe group, except for Ember, headed off to Manehattan, where the publishing company was located. It was called the Manehattan Publishing Company. It was a unique name when it was created, so they deserved some credit. The publishing company had existed before the city ever did. Ember headed back to the Dragonlands. When they got to Manehattan, the plan immediately fell apart. First of all, there were no alligators. There wasn’t even a moat. Second, the doors were wide open for some reason. Also, Applejack had forgotten to get a tree, so they wouldn’t have had a battering ram, anyway. There were other problems, too, but basically, the whole plan was pointless. “Alright, I’m here,” Ember said, arriving with the entire population of the Dragonlands as the rest of the group stood in confusion in front of the publishing company building. “Sorry, I don’t think we’re going to need a distraction to leave after all,” Twilight said. “The door’s wide open and the place doesn’t seem to have any guards or anything.” Ember frowned, then said, “Alright, come on everydragon. Let’s just go see if there’s something to see on Manehattan Broadway while we’re here or something.” Manehattan Broadway had been named after the publishing company, which also used to run a theatre troupe. The dragons left. “Hmm…I’m not sure if I need any of the rest of you after all, either,” Twilight said. The rest of the Mane Six were surprised to hear her say that. “Just kidding! We’re friends! We can do stuff together if we want. Now come on, let’s go!” The RevealThe group entered the publishing company through the wide-open front door and were instantly trapped in a giant cage. The lights shut off, except for one dim one above the cage. “Hahahaha,” a voice said from the shadows. The form of a pony walking around in circles around the cage could just barely be seen in the darkness. “Hahahaha,” another voice said, also from the shadows. It was now clear that there were actually two ponies walking in circles around the cage. “We knew you would come,” the first voice said. “Just knew it,” the second voice said. “Why did you trap us here?” Fluttershy asked. “We thought it would be fun,” the voices said in unison. “Nah, just kidding. You’re the one hundredth customers to the New Manehattan Publishing Company!” The lights turned on, the cage opened and was pulled by machinery back up to the high ceiling, and it was now clear that the ponies who had trapped them were Flim and Flam. “We’re book publishers now!” they said together. “What?” Twilight said, confused. “Flimmy McFlammerson…is us!” Flim and Flam said. “We wrote ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson.” “You did?” Rainbow Dash said. “So it was a scam!” “What?’ Flim said, seeming genuinely shocked that Rainbow Dash would suggest such a thing. “Well I never!” Flam said. “We’re just a couple of innocent new authors trying to break into the big world of book publishing,” Flim said. “It’s a big world out there,” Flam said. “We bought the Manehattan Publishing Company for the name recognition,” Flim said. “And its bookstore connections.” “And we started a store within the building itself! It’s even open late! That’s why the door is open!” Flam said. “So far, not many ponies have visited the store, so we thought we’d spread some publicity with that hundredth-customer stunt!” “In retrospect, the cage might not have been such a good idea,” Flim said. “Sorry about that.” “So…you’re meaning to tell us you’ve gone legit?” Applejack said. “Of course!” Flim said. “Your books were misprinted,” Twilight said angrily. “I bought a copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and it just said ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and nothing else in the entire book.” “Oh, yes, we know,” Flim said. “We got your call earlier. You didn’t recognize my voice on the phone?” “We also got your second call,” Flam said. “Do you speak to your mother with that mouth?” Twilight blushed and shifted her front hoof in embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it,” Flim said. “Here’s a new copy!” He tossed a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson to Twilight. “In fact, here are copies for all of you!” He tossed copies to the rest of the Mane Six. “Thank you,” Fluttershy said. “Don’t mention it!” Flim said. “Now good night!” Flam said. He suddenly rushed the Mane Six out of the publishing company / store and shut the door. “Well, it was nice of them to give us all free copies of the book,” Rarity said. “Maybe they have changed.” “I’m not buying it,” Twilight said. “I’m starting to think the books weren’t misprinted at all.” She opened her new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. To her surprise, there was writing on every page this time. Every page said “Sucker!” She stared at the book in confusion for several long minutes. Finally, she closed the book. “What?” she said, looking at the cover and tilting her head. The rest of the Mane Six opened their copies, too. “Yep, it’s a scam,” Rainbow Dash said. “I knew it.” Twilight turned the book over to read the blurb on the back. “Have you ever wanted to fool your friends with a fake book? Well, now’s your chance! Put this book on your coffee table and watch as they open the book to see nothing but ‘Sucker!’ Have fun!” There was a picture of Flim and Flam on the back as well. “What?” Twilight said again. “That…that can’t be it.” “So it’s…not a scam?” Rainbow Dash said. She flipped through the pages of her book and was more confused than ever. She had somehow never thought to read the back cover blurb either. “I guess not…” Twilight said. Little did she know that she had been scammed. But she wouldn’t find that out until later. “Well, let’s go back home, I guess,” Applejack said. “I was thinking we might see if there’s anything playing on Manehattan Broadway first,” Rarity said. “You know, since we’re here, anyway.” Author's Note Yeah, the cover image kind of gives it away, but would you have really expected anyone else? ;) Just a Human“It’s me, Coloratura!” Coloratura said. “I was going to perform as the opening act for Avenue Horseshoe, but I fell down a well in Manehattan and ended up here.” “Performances on Manehattan Broadway have opening acts?” Pony Twilight said. She had never heard of that before. “Yep, and I was going to be the opening act!” Coloratura said. “But now I’m at a random camp instead, I guess. And I’m what you call a human, according to the other humans I asked.” “Well, at least you’re not just a human,” Pony Twilight said. Coloratura gave a small smirk. “You’re still your pony self, but in human form.” “Just a human?” Human Twilight frowned. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Pony Twilight said. “It was just a reference to one of Coloratura’s songs.” “I am just a pony, I make mistakes from time to time!” Coloratura sang. “Oh, okay,” Human Twilight said. “Care to sing the whole song? It sounds nice.” Coloratura opened her mouth to sing, but then Human Twilight got an idea. “Hey, why don’t you perform for the whole camp?” she asked. “It would be amazing! No one would even know you’re not the human Coloratura.” “Wait, what?” Coloratura said. “Yeah, the human Coloratura is a famous singer and actress with songs like ‘Just Be Yourself’ and movies like ‘A Star Is Birthed,” Human Twilight said. “But won’t the camp be confused by the fact that my songs aren’t Human Coloratura’s songs?” Coloratura said. “I mean, I sing about being a pony and stuff.” “Yeah, I think they’ll just be happy to get a performance from you,” Human Twilight said. Coloratura looked at Pony Twilight, who smiled. “Alright, I’ll do it,” Coloratura said. Uber DiscordThree hours later, the camp had gathered in front of an impromptu stage made from lots of random crates that were around the camp for some reason. Coloratura was about to give her performance. Human Twilight and Pony Twilight cheered. The curtains, which were really just blankets held by random campers, opened. Coloratura sat in front of a piano, but realized that she didn’t know how to play it with human hands. She would have to sing a capella. “I am just a pony! I make mistakes from time to time!” Coloratura sang. The campers cheered and the concert was a huge success. The campers all gave donations to support the artist and it was enough to call an Uber to come pick Coloratura and Pony Twilight up and take them to the school. When the Uber arrived, Pony Twilight (who shall now be referred to as just “Twilight” again since Human Twilight is staying at camp), was surprised to see that Discord was the driver. “Hi!” Discord said. “I’m an Uber driver now. I’m Uber Discord!” He was still in draconequus form even though he was in the human world. “Wait, why are you still a draconequus?” Twilight asked. “I exist in both worlds, or really all worlds,” Discord said. “There’s only one of me!” “Why are you an Uber driver?” Coloratura asked. “Can’t a chaos god just drive an Uber if he wants?” Discord asked. “Sure, I guess,” Twilight said. “Well, hop in!” Discord said. Twilight and Coloratura got into Discord’s Uber. “Where to?” Discord asked. “To Canterlot High…” Twilight said. “Unless you have a quicker way back to the pony world.” “Oh, I’m so glad you asked,” Discord said. He snapped his fingers and the Uber was suddenly on top of a mountain. It was very cold. “Where are we?” Coloratura asked. “We’re on the top of Mount Everfree,” Discord said. “The human world version.” “But…why?” Twilight asked. “You wanted a quicker way back to the pony world, and here it is,” Discord said. And he drove off the edge of the mountain. Off-Roading with TwilightAfter Twilight teleported Coloratura to Manehattan, she was going to go home, but the ponies crowded around the car kept on bothering her, asking her what it was like to ride in a car. She said it was terrifying – mostly because of Discord’s chosen route, she thought – but they didn’t care. They wanted to ride, too, but Discord didn’t feel like driving anymore. “Why don’t you drive them around?” he said, and suddenly Twilight found herself buckled into the driver’s seat with her hoof on the ignition. Being made for humans, the seat wasn’t particularly comfortable. There were four other ponies in the car with her, one in the passenger seat and three in the back. She wasn’t sure who any of them were, but she was sure she’d seen them around Ponyville before. But she didn’t have time to worry about that. There was no room to move her foot off the ignition, so she was forced to attempt to steer the car as it careened around Ponyville, accelerating as they went. The car reached over 150 miles per hour, heading down the long offroad path to Appleloosa (the straightest, smoothest, and least populated route Twilight could think of) before the engine finally stalled and the car slowed down. The travelers were now in the middle of nowhere. Restaurant RendezvousNow that Twilight wasn’t quite so tired, she was able to teleport again, and reached Ponyville in an instant. She went to the restaurant that she had dreamed about and ordered three hayburgers. She handed the money to the cashier, who said, “Sorry, you’re three bits short.” He handed her two hayburgers instead. “But I’m sure I had enough money,” Twilight said. “I was going to buy six theatre tickets yesterday and I was only three bits short then. There’s no way three hayburgers cost as much as six theatre tickets.” The cashier pointed at a sign, which said that hayburgers were now ten times as expensive as normal because hay was in short supply. Twilight sighed and took the two hayburgers and her change. Apparently her dream had not been prophetic. She ate the hayburgers sadly, then watched as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon entered the restaurant. “Hey, you gave me that stupid book!” Diamond Tiara said. “You tricked me!” “What?” Twilight said. “You must be thinking of somepony else.” “No, it was definitely you who gave me the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson,” Diamond Tiara said. “I opened it to read it, but it said nothing but ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and nothing else in the entire book. Now I will never read anything you recommend to me ever again!” “I’m sorry!” Twilight said. “Please give me another chance. I just needed the rope from you so that I could save Scootaloo!” “Scootaloo was in trouble?” Silver Spoon asked. Though nopony else knew it, she secretly had a crush on Scootaloo. She was sad to hear that she had been in trouble. “Did you save her?” “Yes,” Twilight said. “Er…well, no, actually, no, I didn’t. The other Cutie Mark Crusaders had already saved her first.” “So you didn’t even need the rope?” Diamond Tiara said. “I want it back!” “But I thought it was Applejack’s?” Twilight said. “Oh, yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “Anyway, I threw that copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson into a well,” she said. “That was you?” Twilight asked. She now realized that the copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson that the Diamond Dogs had given her and that she had back at the castle was in fact the same copy that she had started out with in the first place. Maybe the misprints might not be quite so widespread after all. “Yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “It was bad.” Then she sighed. “I’m still mad that you tricked me, but you’ve given me good recommendations in the past. I guess I’ll give you another chance. Any good books that you know of?” She brushed her front hoof in front of her in a bashful way. “Oh, well, let me think,” Twilight said. She raised her right hoof to her face in thought. Her left hoof still held her non-misprinted copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. While Twilight was thinking, Silver Spoon asked, “Can I see that book?” “Um…okay,” Twilight asked. “But it just says ‘Sucker!’ on every page.” Silver Spoon took the book and looked. It did indeed say ‘Sucker!’ on every page, just as it had the night before. She gave it back. “Have you considered ‘A History of Royals’ by Stalwart Prince?” Twilight asked Diamond Tiara. “No, I hadn’t even thought of reading that book!” Diamond Tiara said. “I had never even heard of it before.” “Well, I have a copy at the castle library,” Twilight said. “I could get it for you if you want.” “Sure!” Diamond Tiara said. “It sounds like a good one.” Twilight teleported to the library, making sure to bring her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson with her. She left the book in the library, grabbed the other book she had recommended to Diamond Tiara, and teleported back to the restaurant. “Here you go!” Twilight said. She handed the book to Diamond Tiara. “Just make sure to bring it back to me when you’re done!” Diamond Tiara skimmed through the book and smiled. “This book seems a lot better,” she said. “Thank you!” “Don’t throw it in a well!” Twilight said, half-jokingly and yet very serious. “I won’t!” Diamond Tiara said. She hesitated for a moment. “You know what, here, take this back,” she said. She gave the three bits she had taken earlier back to Twilight. “Thank you!” Twlight said, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left. “Yes!” Twilight thought. Now she had enough to get another hayburger. She went to the cashier and paid for a third hayburger. As she ate it, she remembered that she still needed to bring the rope back to Applejack. Trust IssuesWhen Twilight was done eating, she teleported back to her castle, got the rope, and teleported to Applejack’s farm. (Teleporting this time ensured that she wouldn’t run into any more detours.) Applejack wasn’t home. “Applejack?” Twilight called. “Applejack?” “Twilight?” Apple Bloom said, coming from around the corner of the barn. “Is Applejack home? I need to bring this rope back to her,” Twilight said. “No, she didn’t come home last night,” Apple Bloom said. “I thought she might be at a sleepover with you and the rest of your friends or something. Granny Smith and Big Mac thought so, too.” “No, they all went to a performance of Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. “Why didn’t you go, too?” Apple Bloom asked. “Because there were only five tickets left,” Twilight said. “Oh,” Apple Bloom said. “Well, I can take the rope.” Twilight levitated the rope to her, and she took it. “So you don’t know where Applejack is?” Twilight asked. “No, I said that already,” Apple Bloom said. “Or at least I strongly implied it?” “Huh,” Twilight said. She was concerned to hear this, not sure why Applejack wouldn’t have returned. She decided to go check with Rarity to see if she was home. A quick teleport later and she was there. “Rarity, are you home?” Twilight asked, knocking on her door. A few moments later, it opened. “Yes, darling!” Rarity said. “Come on in!” “What happened last night?” Twilight asked. “Apple Bloom says that Applejack didn’t come home.” “She didn’t?” Rarity asked in concern. “She was with us when we got back to Ponyville. She split up with us when we went by her farm. She said she had to check something in the orchard before she went to bed.” “What did she have to check?” Twilight asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rarity’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson on a table. “I don’t know,” Rarity said. “But it sounded important.” “Thanks!” Twilight said. She teleported back to the Apple family farm again. “Back already?” Apple Bloom said. She was only a few feet away from the spot that Twilight had teleported to. “Yep! I saw Rarity and she said that Applejack actually did come home. She just had to check something in the apple orchard.” Twilight said. “But…she never came in the house,” Apple Bloom said. “I would have known. The door is super loud and creaky. Big Mac still needs to fix it.” Twilight frowned and walked to the Apple family’s house. She moved the door back and forth. “What are you doing?” Apple Bloom asked. “I just wanted to see how loud the door was,” Twilight said. “What, you don’t trust me?” Apple Bloom asked. “No, it’s not like that at all,” Twilight said. “Well, then what is it like?” Apple Bloom asked. Twilight was about to respond when she noticed that inside the door, on the kitchen table, was a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “She must have come home!” Twilight said. “That’s her copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson!” “What? No, that’s my copy,” Apple Bloom said. “I think it’s misprinted, though. It only says ‘Sucker!’ on page three-hundred eighty-seven and it’s supposed to say it on every page.” She had actually read the blurb on the back. Twilight went into the house and looked at the book. It did indeed say ‘Sucker!’ only on page three-hundred eighty-seven and not every page. “Wow, you really don’t trust me,” Apple Bloom said. She was getting angry now. “No, it’s not like that at all!” Twilight said. “Please go,” Apple Bloom said. She slammed the door on Twilight. Twilight knocked a few times, but nopony answered. After a few minutes, she decided to go look around the orchard and see if there was any sign of Applejack. A Secret Message“Hello? Applejack?” Twilight called. She half-expected to hear cries for help, but no cries came. “Applejack?” After a while, Twilight bumped into Big Mac. “Have you seen Applejack?” Twilight asked. “Nope,” he said. Twilight moved on. After searching almost the entire orchard, Twilight finally found a clue – Applejack’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She knew it must be Applejack’s copy because it had “Sucker!” written on every page, not just page three hundred eighty-seven. Skimming through the book, she saw that there were identical tears on pages five, seven, and forty-nine. “That’s strange,” Twilight thought. Now that she thought about it, May 7th, 1949 was Granny Smith’s birthday. She decided that she needed to find Granny Smith. She went back to the house and knocked again. “Apple Bloom? Granny Smith?” she called. “Oh, it’s the pony who doesn’t trust me,” Apple Bloom said, opening the door reluctantly. “I need to talk to Granny Smith. Is she home?” Twilight asked. Apple Bloom sighed. “Granny!” she called. Granny Smith walked around the corner. “Apple Bloom was telling me about how you don’t trust her about anything,” Granny said angrily. “Why don’t you trust her? She didn’t lie to you!” “I’m sorry, I think there was just a misunderstanding,” Twilight said. “I do trust her, I just like to see things for myself, too. I’m sorry.” Granny Smith sighed. She looked to see if Apple Bloom was listening, but Apple Bloom had returned to her room. “I do the same thing,” she whispered to Twilight. “Oh?” Twilight said rhetorically. Then she showed Granny Smith Applejack’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “Yeah, I recognize that book,” Granny Smith said. “I have a copy of What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson right over there.” She pointed to the table. “I thought that was Apple Bloom’s copy,” Twilight said. “She lied!” Granny Smith said, and laughed. “But I thought you said she didn’t lie?” Twilight asked. “Did I?” Granny Smith said, and winked. Twilight wasn’t sure what to make of that, but decided to move on. “But the thing with this copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson is that pages five, seven, and forty-nine have these identical tears on them,” Twilight said. “And May 7th, 1949 is your birthday.” “That is strange,” Granny Smith said. She looked at the copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson that Twilight was holding. “But I don’t know what it means. Sorry.” Twilight frowned. She looked at the pages again. Suddenly, she noticed something. There was tiny, almost unreadable text written at the bottom of page forty-nine. “Do you have a magnifying glass, by any chance?” she asked Granny Smith. “I think so,” Granny Smith said, and she went into a back room that the Apple family used for storage. “Here it is!” She came back out with a magnifying glass. “Thanks!” Twilight said. She held the magnifying glass over the tiny text and read. “I’m about to be foalnapped by changelings who want to take me back in time to stop Granny Smith from helping to found Ponyville,” the text said. “What?” Twilight said. “What did it say?” Granny Smith asked. “Uh…nothing,” Twilight said. “It’s not really words at all!” She laughed nervously, unsure whether to trust Granny Smith or whether she might be a changeling. “Oh, so you don’t trust me, do you?” Granny Smith asked. “You didn’t trust Apple Bloom, and now you don’t trust me.” “What, no, it’s not…it’s…I…I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” Twilight said, and teleported away before Granny Smith could say anything else. “Whoops, I brought the magnifying glass with me,” Twilight said, and laughed nervously again. She teleported back to the Apple farm. Nopony was in the kitchen anymore. EavesdroppingTwilight was about to call for Granny Smith when she heard a voice in the other room. “I think she’s onto us,” the voice said. It didn’t sound like either Apple Bloom or Granny Smith. “I think you’re right,” another voice said. “What should we do?” the first voice said. “I don’t know. But let’s tell Chrysalis. She’ll know what to do,” the second voice said. Twilight dropped the magnifying glass and the voices stopped. She teleported away again. She was now back at the castle library, just as she had been the first time she teleported away. “So changelings kidnapped Applejack…and they’re trying to change the past…and for some reason Applejack knew it was going to happen and decided to leave a cryptic message about it,” Twilight said to herself. “What’s that?” Spike asked. He was in the library, too, and had been reading a book called “100 Gems in 100 Days: A Book for True Gem Connoisseurs” by Scalesmouth Wing. He put the book down. “Changelings kidnapped Applejack and they’re trying to change the past and for some reason Applejack knew it was going to happen and decided to leave a cryptic message about it!” Twilight said, more quickly and loudly this time. “What?” Spike said. He felt really out of the loop. “Wait, if we’re still here talking about it, doesn’t that mean their plan didn’t work?” Twilight considered that. “Probably,” she said. “But it might not have worked because we stopped them.” Spike thought about that. “I suppose that makes sense,” he said. “Then let’s stop them!” Not Really Applejack“So how did you know about the changelings’ plan?” Twilight asked Applejack. “Because I am a changeling,” Applejack said, and changed into her changeling form. “What?” Twilight said. “Wait, was Applejack a changeling all along, or…?” Spike asked. “No, I’m not the real Applejack. Her whole family is in cocoons in the storage room of the Apple family house,” the fake Applejack said. “The room where Granny Smith got the magnifying glass?” Twilight asked. “Yeah, that room,” the fake Applejack said. “How long have they been there?” Twilight asked. “About a week,” the fake Applejack said. “So you were the one who went to Manehattan with the rest of us?” Twilight asked. “Yep,” the fake Applejack said. “And you were the one who tore the pages of your copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and wrote in it?” Twilight asked. “Yep,” the fake Applejack said. “Why so cryptic with the page tearing?” Twilight asked. “Oh, that was just a coincidence,” the fake Applejack said. “I accidentally tore a few pages when I opened the book to write the little message in it. I figured you’d probably see it. And I wasn't really foalnapped; I just had no choice but to go with the others.” “Hmm…” Twilight said. “But why did you help us?” “I don’t want to follow Chrysalis anymore,” the fake Applejack said. “I want to follow Thorax instead.” Suddenly, the fake Applejack changed into the form popularized by Thorax and his changeling kingdom. “Yay!” the fake Applejack said, and started to fly away. “Wait!” Twilight called after them. “Why did Chrysalis want to change the past in the first place?” “I think she thought that if Ponyville hadn’t come to exist, you’d never have visited it and you’d never have stopped her!” the changeling called back, and flew off into the distance. The True Reveal“Oh, it’s you,” a pony said as they walked by. “What?” Twilight said. “You’re the pony who cleared out my stock and then refused to pay what you owed! Twilight Sparkle, right?” the pony said. He ran a shop in Ponyville, but Twilight couldn’t remember his name. “I am Twilight Sparkle, but I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Twilight said. “I got a mail order this morning from you, but after I sent everything out, your credit card bounced,” he said. “Now I can’t get the stuff back and I don’t have the money.” Twilight suddenly remembered that she had given her credit card to the New Manehattan Publishing Company. That must have been Flim and Flam’s real plan all along - getting ponies to complain about the misprinted books and then tricking them into giving them their credit card information! Twilight teleported all the way to the New Manehattan Publishing Company. A bunch of stuff was being delivered by a whole bunch of carts at once. Flim and Flam were bringing it into the store and laughing. “What do you think you’re doing?” Twilight asked. “Uh…nothing,” Flim said. He hid the thing he had been bringing into the store behind his back. Suddenly, everything went black. A Rescue AttemptWhile on the way to Applejack’s farm, Twilight heard a cry for help. “Help me! I need help! I am stuck!” the voice said. “Oh, no! Somepony needs help!” Twilight shouted to nopony in particular. She listened to the voice of the calling pony and headed in that pony’s general direction. Or at least she assumed it was a pony. Soon enough, she found an abandoned well on the edge of Ponyville. It had likely been used by early Ponyvillagers to get water for their crops, but it was now covered with spiderwebs. “Hello, is anypony here?” Twilight asked. “Yes, I’m trapped down in this well!” the voice shouted to her. “Please save me!” Twilight wasn't sure whose voice was coming from the bottom of the well - the echoes following each statement were distorting it somewhat - but she figured that it didn’t really matter. “Just a second!” she shouted, and she ran off to go get a rope. The first pony she came across who had a rope was Diamond Tiara, who was bringing it to Applejack’s farm. She had borrowed it from Applejack in order to play jump rope with Silver Spoon and their other friends. “Can I have that rope?” Twilight asked. “Well, it belongs to Applejack…” Diamond Tiara said. “I’m sure Applejack won’t mind,” Twilight said. “I need it to save a pony who’s stuck in a well! Or at least I assume it’s a pony.” “Hmmm…” Diamond Tiara said, deep in thought. “Okay, but it’s going to cost you.” “What?” Twilight said. “But I’m trying to save somepony! Why would you charge me for that?” “I don’t know. I just want to make some money and this seems like a good opportunity,” Diamond Tiara said. “What…why…you…” Twilight said, and then stopped. Shaking her head, she held out three bits and asked, “Is this good enough?” “No,” Diamond Tiara said. “What?” Twilight said, angry now. “Fine, how about if I give you this?” she asked, teleporting the book “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson to them and holding it in midair with her levitation magic. “I don’t want that,” Diamond Tiara said. “It’s amazing, though,” Twilight said. “It changed my life!” Little did Twilight know that having bought the book would in fact have changed her life. But that won’t happen until later. “Did it now?” Diamond Tiara said, slightly more interested. “Yep, it was so incredible! I love it!” Twilight said. “Fine, I’ll take the stupid book,” Diamond Tiara said. So Twilight gave Diamond Tiara her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson and Diamond Tiara gave Twilight Applejack’s rope. “Thank you!” Twilight said. Diamond Tiara just shrugged and walked away with the book. She had also taken the bits, but Twilight didn’t question it. She needed to save that trapped pony! When Twilight got back to the well, she no longer heard any screaming for help. “Are you still down there?” Twilight asked. The only response was an echo of her own voice. “Oh, no!” Twilight thought. “What if there’s still water down there? What if they drowned? What if…?” She repeated several more “What If”s in her mind for a while, unsure what to do now. Finally, she decided to go down in the well and check if anypony was down there. It was big enough for her to fit, so she tied the rope to the edge of the well and started climbing down. Once she was about twenty feet down, she wondered just how deep the well actually was. She tried to crane her neck to look down, but the well was too cramped for that. (It was big enough for her to fit, but not big enough for her to turn around.) She suddenly considered that even if there was somepony down there, she would have a hard time getting them out from this position. Then she remembered that she could teleport and figured that she could just teleport both of them out of the well without having to climb up the rope at all. So she kept climbing down. “Is anypony down here?” she asked again. “Hello?” “Hello?” a voice said from the top of the well. Scootaloo peeked over the edge of the well from the top. Twilight could only barely see her face, but she recognized the voice. “What are you doing?” Scootaloo asked. “I’m going down to see if anypony is trapped down in the well,” Twilight said. “I was trapped down in the well,” Scootaloo said. “But Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom got me out a little while ago.” “Wait, what?” Twilight said, accidentally letting go of the rope in her shock. She started freefalling and banged her head on one of the walls of the well. She fell unconscious. An Angry Rant“Now what was I doing again?” Twilight thought. Then she remembered. She had been going to see Applejack on her farm. But it was late now. The Moon was up and nopony was on the streets. So she decided to go back home. She headed back to the well quickly to grab the rope she had used (she’d return it to Applejack in the morning) and then went home. “Ah, time for some reading,” Twilight thought, settling down into a comfy chair in her castle’s library with her new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She opened the book with anticipation…only to find that it was blank. Again. Flipping through the pages until she reached page three hundred-eighty seven, she found that they were all blank. Until the “Sucker!” page. Another misprint. Even though it was late, Twilight decided to call the publishing company again, anyway. She was very irritated to find that all of the copies of the book must be misprinted and wanted them to hear about it. “Hello?” she said. “This is a recording,” the voice on the other end of the line said. “Please leave a message and we will return your call in the order it was received.” “What? Hello?” Twilight said. There was a click. Irritated, Twilight left a message. “Hello, this is Twilight Sparkle. I got another copy of the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and it was also messed up. It wasn’t the copy you said you were going to send me. It was a copy from the bottom of a well that somepony must have lost, but I am still not happy that it was also misprinted. Did you misprint the entire print run and not even notice?!” Then she swore a few times. Breathing hard from the exertion of her angry rant, she hung up the phone and tossed the book onto a table in the library. She was still angry, but as she calmed down a bit, she regretted having sworn on the phone message. What if they wouldn’t send her a new copy now? She might never find out what “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson was really about. After a few moments of thought, she decided that she had to go to the publishing company and erase that message before they ever heard it. But she’d need some help. Ticket TroublesThe rest of the Mane Six agreed with Rarity's suggestion, and so they decided to go to Manehattan Broadway. Manehattan Broadway was the name of a theatre, and as was said before, it used to be owned by the Manehattan Publishing Company. They had long since been split into two companies, even before Flim and Flam had bought the publishing company to turn it into the New Manehattan Publishing Company, but the name had still stuck. After looking at the posters outside the theatre, they saw that there was still time to make it to the show – “Avenue Horseshoe.” It was a musical where most of the characters were puppets. “That sounds like fun!” Pinkie Pie said. “Six tickets to Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. She teleported the money from her castle to give to the ticket pony, but realized she was three bits short. “Uh…anypony have three bits?” she asked. “Sure thing,” Applejack said, and took three bits out from under her hat. “Alright, six tickets to Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. She held the money out to the ticket pony. “Sorry, it’s sold out,” the ticket pony said. “Nooo!” Pinkie Pie said. She had really wanted to see the puppet show. “Yeah, a whole bunch of dragons came and bought the place out,” the ticket pony said. “It’s a full house.” “Well, I guess we should just go home, then,” Twilight said. They all turned to leave. “Wait!” the ticket pony said. “I just realized that I made a mistake. There are actually five seats left.” “Only five?” Rainbow Dash said.” But there are six of us!” “Sorry, that’s it,” the ticket pony said. “Can’t you let one of us sit in the aisle or something?” Fluttershy said. “The theatre back in Ponyville lets my animal friends do that sometimes.” “No, that would be a fire code violation,” the ticket pony said. “Sorry!” Fluttershy’s face fell. “Also, I’m going to have to report that the Ponyville theatre is breaking the fire code.” Fluttershy’s face fell even more. “So what should we do?” Rarity asked. “Five of us could go, but the sixth would have to be left out.” “Oh, you girls can go without me,” Twilight said. “After all, I made you all waste your nights to come here for no reason. The least I can do is let you have a good time.” “Are you sure?” Applejack asked. “Yeah, it’s fine,” Twilight said. “Have fun!” “Well, if you’re sure…thank you!” Pinkie Pie said. She gave Twilight a hug, and they all bought their tickets. Twilight tried to pay for them herself like she was going to do before, but they insisted on paying their own way. Applejack did take her three bits back, though. Down a Well AgainWith the rest of her friends at the theatre, Twilight figured she might as well go home on her own. She started walking toward the train they had used to get to Manehattan when she heard a cry for help. “Help me!” the cry said. “Again?” Twilight asked. “What’s happening now? There aren’t any wells in Manehattan.” Still, she figured that she’d better go see what was going on. Perhaps somepony was being mugged! “Help me!” the cry said again. Twilight rushed through the streets, searching for the source, and finally found it. It was a well. “What?” Twilight said, now utterly confused. She looked down the well, but there was nothing to be seen. “Help me!” the cry said again. This cry was more repetitive than Scootaloo’s cries back in Ponyville. “Help me!” Sighing, Twilight lowered herself down the well, flying this time instead of using a rope. This well was wider than the one back in Ponyville, so that was easier to do than it would have been back there. And this way, she didn’t need a rope. Now that she thought about it, she should have given the rope back to Applejack earlier, but she had left it back at her castle. Oh, well. She could still give it to her in the morning. Twilight continued to go down the well, until eventually she suddenly felt like she had turned upside down and began falling, unable to fly. She landed in a lake. “What the…?” she thought, realizing that she was now in human form. Also, it was daytime. A Visit to Camp Everfree“Help me!” the voice cried again. Twilight looked that way to see that Scootaloo – the human version of her – was stuck out in the middle of the lake, finding it difficult to swim. “I’ll save you!” Twilight said. Then she realized that she had never learned to swim. “Help me!” she shouted. “Somebody help us!” “I’ll save you!” a voice called from the edge of the lake. It was Bulk Biceps, in human form of course since by now it should be clear that this was the Equestria Girls world. He was the lifeguard for the lake, but had been distracted for a minute by something happening on the shore. Swimming out into the lake, he saved both Scootaloo and Twilight on the same trip, holding each in one arm and paddling with his legs. “Thank you!” Scootaloo said to him, and she ran away to rejoin the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Thanks!” Twilight said, and blushed. “No problem,” Bulk Biceps said. He walked back to his lifeguard post. “Huh,” Twilight said. She was still confused as to why there was a well in Manehattan, but apparently it had been a portal to the Equestria Girls world. Considering the portal she had come through was somewhere up in the sky over the lake, she figured she wouldn’t have much luck getting back through it. So she needed to get to the school. “Do you know where Canterlot High is from here?” she asked Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops, who were holding hands and sharing an ice cream cone that Lyra was holding in her free hand. “Yeah, it’s about a hundred miles that way,” Sweetie Drops said. “Why?” “Wait, where are we now?” Twilight asked. “Summer camp!” Lyra said. “Wait, is this Camp Everfree?” Twilight asked. “Yep!” Lyra said. Twilight had heard about Camp Everfree from Sunset Shimmer, but had never been there herself. She walked around the lake, trying to figure out how she was going to get home. She was still holding her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. Suddenly, she bumped into somepony…er…somebody. “Sorry!” she said, and the other person said “Sorry!” at the same time. “Wait, it’s…hi, Twilight!” they said together. Twilight had run into the version of Twilight from the human world, who shall henceforth be referred to as “Human Twilight.” “How’s it going?” Human Twilight asked Twilight from the pony world, who shall temporarily be known as “Pony Twilight” even though she’s also a human right now. “Fine,” said Pony Twilight. “Cool,” Human Twilight said. “But why are you here?” She was curious, not judgmental or anything. “I’m not sure,” Pony Twilight said. “I fell through a portal in a well in Manehattan and ended up here.” “That’s how I got here!” a voice said from behind Pony Twilight. She turned and saw a human who seemed familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time. Return to PonyvilleTwilight and Coloratura hugged each other in the back seat and screamed. The Uber went off a cliff that sloped up and started plummeting to the Earth thousands of feet below. Suddenly, the world around them disappeared and the Uber was driving on flat ground again. “We’re here!” Discord said as they drove through a secluded part of the Everfree Forest, narrowly avoiding trees as Discord weaved back and forth. “Don’t ever do that again,” Twilight said. Coloratura looked like she was going to throw up, but she didn’t. “Well, sorry,” Discord said. “I thought I was helping.” The Uber drove into Ponyville and many other ponies gathered around to witness the strange sight. They had seen wheeled vehicles before, but never one quite like this. It was a 1978 Honda Accord, but it looked brand new. “Now we’re really here,” Discord said. He stopped the car and Twilight and Coloratura got out. “Well, I guess I missed my show,” Coloratura said. “Maybe not,” Twilight said, and teleported Coloratura onto the stage on Manehattan Broadway. Avenue Horseshoe was already going on, so the audience (mostly dragons, plus the Mane Six other than Twilight) were confused by this, but the show went on. Coloratura quietly and slowly walked offstage, trying not to disturb anything. A Long WalkTwilight teleported the other ponies back to Ponyville, but found that she was too tired to teleport back herself. It was late, she hadn’t gotten any sleep, and she had used a lot of her magic already. Also, she was still carrying “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson, which was kind of heavy. She had nearly dropped it at a few points during her drives, but had managed to keep hold of it. So she started on the long walk home, leaving the broken-down Honda Civic on the path to Appleloosa. If Discord wanted it back, he’d have to find it himself. She wasn’t going to do him any favors after what he had just pulled. Well, maybe she’d give him her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. It would be such a terrible gift that it might be a sort of negative favor. Anyway, she was still walking on the way home when she heard a cry for help. “Help me! I need help, somepony, please!” Again? Sighing, Twilight headed toward the voice, only to find that it was coming from nowhere. “Help me! I need help! Somepony, please help me!” the voice shouted again. There was nopony to be seen. Twilight realized that she was hallucinating from lack of sleep, so she laid down and went to sleep, using “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson as her pillow. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it was still better than the ground. As Twilight slept, she dreamt that she visited a restaurant and bought three hayburgers. She ate the hayburgers, paid for them, and left. Then she woke up. She was rather hungry, and wished that she really had been eating hayburgers. It was now daytime, but she wasn’t sure how long she had actually slept. Change-ling the PastTwilight flipped through a book until she found the page she wanted – a spell to go back in time to May 7th, 1949. It wasn’t really that specific of a spell, but it was the spell she needed to use. (It was really just a spell to go back in time in general.) Twilight cast the spell and both of them went back in time. Suddenly, they were falling. “Whoops, the castle wasn’t here on May 7th, 1949,” Twilight said. She teleported them to the ground. Then she teleported them to the Apple family farm. It had existed before Ponyville. She and Spike looked through the window of the house. “I think we should name her…Granny Smith,” Granny Smith’s mom said to Granny Smith’s dad. She was lying in bed, holding Granny Smith, who had just been born. The midwife who had helped deliver her was standing in the corner. “Wow, so that’s Granny Smith as a newborn filly?” Spike asked. “Yep! But be quiet! We don’t want to change the past, either!” Twilight said. Spike made a motion as if to zip his lips and throw away the key. Suddenly, there was a sound from behind them. They turned around and saw three changelings, along with Applejack, who one of the changelings - in the form of an Ursa Minor on its hind legs – was carrying. (At least, Twilight assumed that was a changeling.) “No, they beat us here!” one of the changelings said. “My plan worked!” Applejack shouted. “Yippee!” “Be quiet!” the Ursa Minor changeling said. Applejack stayed quiet after that. Before anypony else could do anything, Twilight cast a time travel spell again and brought them all back to the present. Then she teleported the two changelings who weren’t carrying Applejack to cages in Tartarus. The changeling who was carrying Applejack dropped her and ran away. “You’d better run!” Spike shouted. Nopony bothered to run after the changeling, so they got away without issue. The Real Apple FamilyTwilight teleported herself and Spike back to the Apple family house. She ran into the storage room and freed Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith. As they turned to leave the room, their changeling counterparts blocked the way. “You’re not going anywhere!” they said together. Twilight teleported them to cages in Tartarus. “Here’s your copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson,” Twilight told Applejack. “What?” Applejack said. She had never heard of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson before. She opened the book and saw ‘Sucker!’ written on every page. “Are you trying to tell me something here?” Applejack asked. She thought Twilight might think she was a sucker for getting trapped by the changelings. “Do you think I’m a sucker for getting trapped by the changelings or something?” she said. “What? No! It’s just a fun joke thing,” Twilight said. “Hmm…” Applejack said, but then she smiled. The group left the storage room and went into the main part of the house. “Well, thanks for saving us!” Apple Bloom said. “Thanks,” Big Mac said. “Thank you!” Granny Smith said, and she made some of her famous apple pie for Twilight and Spike. It was a secret Apple family recipe. “This pie is delicious!” Twilight said. “Thank you!” After the pie, Twilight and Spike left the Apple farm. “Do you think Chrysalis will do anything else?” Spike asked. “I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Maybe.” They kept walking. The EndTwilight woke up to find herself tied to a chair. She didn’t remember anything, not even that her name was Twilight. “You’re not going to stop us again, Twilight!” Oh yeah, her name was Twilight. That sparked her memory and now she remembered everything. “We used a memory charm to erase your memories and now you’re powerless!” “Yeah, I don’t think so,” Twilight said, and she teleported Flim and Flam to cages in Tartarus. Now you know what was being hinted at a while back when I said something was going to happen because she bought the book and gave away her credit card information and stuff, and also the mind erasing thing. So yeah, now it’s happened and there’s nothing to look forward to regarding that anymore. Probably. Twilight teleported back to the New Manehattan Publishing Company and looked through the papers there. Flim and Flam had already stolen the credit card information of at least two hundred ponies. She teleported back to Ponyville, got Spike, teleported back again, and had him send letters to all two hundred ponies. He was pretty tired after that, but she still had him send additional letters to all the places that Flim and Flam had scammed after that, and also all the credit reporting agencies, and finally she sent all the carts back to where they came from. Basically, she did everything necessary to undo the damage that Flim and Flam had caused. After that, she had Spike send messages to Celestia and Luna to tell them about all the ponies she had sent to Tartarus and also to tell them about what Chrysalis had tried to do. She was glad that she had been able to stop the bad guys, and Celestia and Luna were grateful, too. “Thanks for all your hard work!” their letter back said. Three weeks later, Twilight was honored with a medal for her efforts and everypony lived happily ever after. The End
An Unfortunate MisprintAuthor's Note I originally wrote this entire story in a few hours toward the end of last November as a freewriting exercise where the goal was to do NaPoWriMo as quickly as possible. While I could in theory have been on track to make it, I opted to wrap things up early at around ten thousand words and subsequently decided not to publish it. Now, after a bit more thought and only slight editing (the sometimes unpolished style was largely intentional), I've decided to present it here in its mostly original form. Don't expect a lot, but hopefully you'll like it well enough! An Unfortunate Misprint Once upon a time, there was an alicorn named Twilight Sparkle. Twilight Sparkle lived in a town called Ponyville, where she had many friends. Among these friends were, in no particular order, a pegasus named Rainbow Dash, a pegasus named Fluttershy, a unicorn named Rarity, an earth pony named Applejack, and an earth pony named Pinkie Pie. She also had a friend named Spike, who was a dragon. And of course, she had other friends, too, like Moondancer and Celestia and Luna and so on, but those were the main ones. One day, Twilight decided that she needed to buy a new book for her library. “I don’t have enough books in my library,” she thought. “I need fifty thousand and three and I only have fifty thousand and two.” So Twilight went to the store and started looking at the books. The first book she looked at was “How to Water Your Garden” by Horsey McHorseface. The next book she looked at was “The Rise and Fall of the Griffon Empire” by Stallion McNabb. And finally, she looked at the book “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She felt compelled to buy this last book for some reason, despite not even having read the blurb on the back cover or anything. So she did. When she got back to her house, she started to read “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. Unfortunately, it turned out that all of the pages were blank except for page three hundred eighty-seven, which had the word “Sucker!” on it. She was perplexed. She had been sure that it would be an interesting book, but it seemed that the publishing company must have misprinted it and mistakenly caused it to only say “Sucker!” and nothing else. So she decided to call the publishing company. “Hello, this is Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said, calling from her cell phone. She would often make calls late at night, but today, she did it in the afternoon because she figured that the publishing company probably wouldn’t have anypony taking calls at night. “I bought the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson from the store down in Ponyville and I was disappointed to see that it did not have a story. It only said the word ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and that was it.” “We’re very sorry to hear that,” the pony on the other line said. “May I ask who’s calling?” “I told you, I’m Twilight. Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said. “Why does it matter?” “So we can make a note that we need to send you a new copy,” the pony on the other line said. “Now, could we please get your address and your credit card number?” Twilight, who was very confused, gave them this information. “Thank you,” the pony on the other line said, and hung up. Little did Twilight know that she had just made a horrible mistake. But that won’t come up again until later. Still confused, but satisfied that she would be getting a new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson soon enough, she decided to go see what Applejack was doing.
At the Bottom of a WellWhen Twilight woke up, she was at the bottom of the well. Or at least she assumed that was where she must be. Luckily, she had somehow managed to not sustain any injuries other than the bump on her head from where she had banged it. She lit up the area with her magic and realized that she couldn’t see the top of the well anymore. “Wow, this well must be deeper than I thought,” she thought. Mentally shrugging, she started flying up, figuring that she’d get to a point where the top could be seen eventually. Suddenly, she banged her head again. Looking up, she realized she had hit some kind of ceiling. There was no hole above her. “What? Where am I?” Twilight wondered. Apparently she was no longer in the well, but she was certainly in some kind of underground cavern. “Hey, the pony is awake,” said a voice from somewhere in the distance. Suddenly several gems all over the walls of the cavern lit up and she it was clear that she was in a gem mine. A Diamond Dog was in the distance looking at her. “Why am I here?” Twilight asked. “We found you at the bottom of a well and noticed that your head was injured,” the Diamond Dog said. “So we thought we’d take care of you until you were better.” Twilight noticed for the first time that the back of her head had been wrapped in a bandage. “Well…thank you,” Twilight said. “No problem,” the Diamond Dog said. “After our last encounter with ponies all those years ago, we decided to be nicer. Being mean and trying to make ponies do what we wanted didn’t really get us anywhere, so we turned over a new leaf.” A couple other Diamond Dogs joined them from elsewhere. “Wait, are you the Diamond Dogs that kidnapped Rarity a long time ago?” Twilight asked. “Yes, we’re those Diamond Dogs,” the Diamond Dogs said. “Tell her ‘sorry’ the next time you see her, alright?” “Sure,” Twilight said. “Thanks again. But wait, how did you find me at the bottom of the well?” “Oh, our gem cavern goes right through that well,” one of them said. “It’s been dry for a long time and we happened to dig through it a few months ago.” “Cool,” Twilight said. “Now how do I get out of here?” “Aren’t you going to repay us first?” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “What?” Twilight said. “We helped you. Now you’re going to help us find some gems, right?” the Diamond Dog who had just spoken said. “I mean…I guess I could,” Twilight said, realizing again that she had forgotten that she could just teleport away whenever she wanted to. She didn’t really like that they seemed to be trying to extort her, but she was grateful that they had tried to help, even if they did hope to get something out of it. Twilight cast a gem-finding spell, setting it for only the biggest gems – at least 63-carat – and set off through the cavern. Several twists and turns later and one big blast to the wall and she had uncovered the jackpot. The cavern she had found was full of a massive number of huge gems. “Here you go!” she said. “But please don’t take all of them. Rarity would probably like to have some of these, too.” “Wow,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. They hadn’t expected to get that good of a haul from Twilight. Maybe just a few gems at best. “Sure, we can share with Rarity.” “Great!” Twilight said. “Well, anyway, I’ve got to go now.” “Here, take this,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “I think we owe you something now.” He was holding a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “Wow, thanks!” Twilight said. Even though she knew she was going to get a new copy from the publishing company soon, she still loved getting books. And getting this copy now meant that she could read it that much sooner. She took it gratefully. “Yeah, we found it at the bottom of the well, too. Somecreature must have dropped it,” one of the Diamond Dogs said. “I can’t read, but I thought you might like it since you like books.” “Wait, how did you know that?” Twilight asked. “Oh, I just heard through the grapevine that you used to live in a library,” the Diamond Dog who had just spoken said. “Well, it’s true! I did used to live in a library!” Twilight said, and smiled. Then her smile fell. She was still sad that the Golden Oaks Library was gone, even all this time later. But then she smiled again. She still had lots of happy memories of it, and those could never be taken away from her. Or at least, she hoped they would never be taken away from her. Memory-erasing spells were a thing. Little did she know that they would be used on her later on. But not yet. “Anyway, see you later!” Twilight said. “Remember to share those gems with Rarity!” “We will!” the Diamond Dogs said in unison. And Twilight teleported back to the surface.
Preparations for a Break-InTwo hours later, Twilight had rounded up the rest of the Mane Six, plus Ember the Dragon Lord, who was unsure why she was there. Nopony else was sure, either, not even Twilight, but Twilight started the debriefing anyway. “Okay, everypony! I mean everycreature! We have a mission! We need to break into the publishing company and delete my phone message before they hear it. I’m going to get a new copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson from them and I don’t want my swearing to ruin it!” “I got a copy of that book, too,” Rainbow Dash said. “It just said ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven. I think it was a scam.” But Twilight wasn’t listening. “Okay, Fluttershy! I need you to distract the alligators in the moat around the publishing company building!” Fluttershy nodded. “Applejack! I need you to get us an apple tree to use as a battering ram to break down the publishing company’s doors!” Applejack looked confused, but nodded. “Rarity! I need you to seduce the guards so that nopony sees us coming!” Rarity smiled and tossed her mane. “Rainbow Dash! When we get in, I’ll need you to search the building and find the answering machine. You’re the fastest, so you should be able to find it the most quickly!” Rainbow Dash saluted. “Pinkie Pie! I need you to do your…Pinkie Pie thing. Help Rainbow Dash find the book by using your Pinkie sense!” Pinkie nodded. “And Ember, I need you to…uh…why are you here again?” “I don’t know,” Ember said. “I was just walking through town and then you decided to hold this meeting right where I was walking at.” “Oh,” Twilight said. “Well, you’ve got to, uh, rally the dragons to create a distraction just in case we need one when we’re escaping the publishing company!” “Okay…” Ember said. It was something to do, she supposed. “Then we're ready!” Twilight said.
The Best-Laid PlansThe group, except for Ember, headed off to Manehattan, where the publishing company was located. It was called the Manehattan Publishing Company. It was a unique name when it was created, so they deserved some credit. The publishing company had existed before the city ever did. Ember headed back to the Dragonlands. When they got to Manehattan, the plan immediately fell apart. First of all, there were no alligators. There wasn’t even a moat. Second, the doors were wide open for some reason. Also, Applejack had forgotten to get a tree, so they wouldn’t have had a battering ram, anyway. There were other problems, too, but basically, the whole plan was pointless. “Alright, I’m here,” Ember said, arriving with the entire population of the Dragonlands as the rest of the group stood in confusion in front of the publishing company building. “Sorry, I don’t think we’re going to need a distraction to leave after all,” Twilight said. “The door’s wide open and the place doesn’t seem to have any guards or anything.” Ember frowned, then said, “Alright, come on everydragon. Let’s just go see if there’s something to see on Manehattan Broadway while we’re here or something.” Manehattan Broadway had been named after the publishing company, which also used to run a theatre troupe. The dragons left. “Hmm…I’m not sure if I need any of the rest of you after all, either,” Twilight said. The rest of the Mane Six were surprised to hear her say that. “Just kidding! We’re friends! We can do stuff together if we want. Now come on, let’s go!”
The RevealThe group entered the publishing company through the wide-open front door and were instantly trapped in a giant cage. The lights shut off, except for one dim one above the cage. “Hahahaha,” a voice said from the shadows. The form of a pony walking around in circles around the cage could just barely be seen in the darkness. “Hahahaha,” another voice said, also from the shadows. It was now clear that there were actually two ponies walking in circles around the cage. “We knew you would come,” the first voice said. “Just knew it,” the second voice said. “Why did you trap us here?” Fluttershy asked. “We thought it would be fun,” the voices said in unison. “Nah, just kidding. You’re the one hundredth customers to the New Manehattan Publishing Company!” The lights turned on, the cage opened and was pulled by machinery back up to the high ceiling, and it was now clear that the ponies who had trapped them were Flim and Flam. “We’re book publishers now!” they said together. “What?” Twilight said, confused. “Flimmy McFlammerson…is us!” Flim and Flam said. “We wrote ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson.” “You did?” Rainbow Dash said. “So it was a scam!” “What?’ Flim said, seeming genuinely shocked that Rainbow Dash would suggest such a thing. “Well I never!” Flam said. “We’re just a couple of innocent new authors trying to break into the big world of book publishing,” Flim said. “It’s a big world out there,” Flam said. “We bought the Manehattan Publishing Company for the name recognition,” Flim said. “And its bookstore connections.” “And we started a store within the building itself! It’s even open late! That’s why the door is open!” Flam said. “So far, not many ponies have visited the store, so we thought we’d spread some publicity with that hundredth-customer stunt!” “In retrospect, the cage might not have been such a good idea,” Flim said. “Sorry about that.” “So…you’re meaning to tell us you’ve gone legit?” Applejack said. “Of course!” Flim said. “Your books were misprinted,” Twilight said angrily. “I bought a copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and it just said ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and nothing else in the entire book.” “Oh, yes, we know,” Flim said. “We got your call earlier. You didn’t recognize my voice on the phone?” “We also got your second call,” Flam said. “Do you speak to your mother with that mouth?” Twilight blushed and shifted her front hoof in embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it,” Flim said. “Here’s a new copy!” He tossed a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson to Twilight. “In fact, here are copies for all of you!” He tossed copies to the rest of the Mane Six. “Thank you,” Fluttershy said. “Don’t mention it!” Flim said. “Now good night!” Flam said. He suddenly rushed the Mane Six out of the publishing company / store and shut the door. “Well, it was nice of them to give us all free copies of the book,” Rarity said. “Maybe they have changed.” “I’m not buying it,” Twilight said. “I’m starting to think the books weren’t misprinted at all.” She opened her new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. To her surprise, there was writing on every page this time. Every page said “Sucker!” She stared at the book in confusion for several long minutes. Finally, she closed the book. “What?” she said, looking at the cover and tilting her head. The rest of the Mane Six opened their copies, too. “Yep, it’s a scam,” Rainbow Dash said. “I knew it.” Twilight turned the book over to read the blurb on the back. “Have you ever wanted to fool your friends with a fake book? Well, now’s your chance! Put this book on your coffee table and watch as they open the book to see nothing but ‘Sucker!’ Have fun!” There was a picture of Flim and Flam on the back as well. “What?” Twilight said again. “That…that can’t be it.” “So it’s…not a scam?” Rainbow Dash said. She flipped through the pages of her book and was more confused than ever. She had somehow never thought to read the back cover blurb either. “I guess not…” Twilight said. Little did she know that she had been scammed. But she wouldn’t find that out until later. “Well, let’s go back home, I guess,” Applejack said. “I was thinking we might see if there’s anything playing on Manehattan Broadway first,” Rarity said. “You know, since we’re here, anyway.” Author's Note Yeah, the cover image kind of gives it away, but would you have really expected anyone else? ;)
Just a Human“It’s me, Coloratura!” Coloratura said. “I was going to perform as the opening act for Avenue Horseshoe, but I fell down a well in Manehattan and ended up here.” “Performances on Manehattan Broadway have opening acts?” Pony Twilight said. She had never heard of that before. “Yep, and I was going to be the opening act!” Coloratura said. “But now I’m at a random camp instead, I guess. And I’m what you call a human, according to the other humans I asked.” “Well, at least you’re not just a human,” Pony Twilight said. Coloratura gave a small smirk. “You’re still your pony self, but in human form.” “Just a human?” Human Twilight frowned. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Pony Twilight said. “It was just a reference to one of Coloratura’s songs.” “I am just a pony, I make mistakes from time to time!” Coloratura sang. “Oh, okay,” Human Twilight said. “Care to sing the whole song? It sounds nice.” Coloratura opened her mouth to sing, but then Human Twilight got an idea. “Hey, why don’t you perform for the whole camp?” she asked. “It would be amazing! No one would even know you’re not the human Coloratura.” “Wait, what?” Coloratura said. “Yeah, the human Coloratura is a famous singer and actress with songs like ‘Just Be Yourself’ and movies like ‘A Star Is Birthed,” Human Twilight said. “But won’t the camp be confused by the fact that my songs aren’t Human Coloratura’s songs?” Coloratura said. “I mean, I sing about being a pony and stuff.” “Yeah, I think they’ll just be happy to get a performance from you,” Human Twilight said. Coloratura looked at Pony Twilight, who smiled. “Alright, I’ll do it,” Coloratura said.
Uber DiscordThree hours later, the camp had gathered in front of an impromptu stage made from lots of random crates that were around the camp for some reason. Coloratura was about to give her performance. Human Twilight and Pony Twilight cheered. The curtains, which were really just blankets held by random campers, opened. Coloratura sat in front of a piano, but realized that she didn’t know how to play it with human hands. She would have to sing a capella. “I am just a pony! I make mistakes from time to time!” Coloratura sang. The campers cheered and the concert was a huge success. The campers all gave donations to support the artist and it was enough to call an Uber to come pick Coloratura and Pony Twilight up and take them to the school. When the Uber arrived, Pony Twilight (who shall now be referred to as just “Twilight” again since Human Twilight is staying at camp), was surprised to see that Discord was the driver. “Hi!” Discord said. “I’m an Uber driver now. I’m Uber Discord!” He was still in draconequus form even though he was in the human world. “Wait, why are you still a draconequus?” Twilight asked. “I exist in both worlds, or really all worlds,” Discord said. “There’s only one of me!” “Why are you an Uber driver?” Coloratura asked. “Can’t a chaos god just drive an Uber if he wants?” Discord asked. “Sure, I guess,” Twilight said. “Well, hop in!” Discord said. Twilight and Coloratura got into Discord’s Uber. “Where to?” Discord asked. “To Canterlot High…” Twilight said. “Unless you have a quicker way back to the pony world.” “Oh, I’m so glad you asked,” Discord said. He snapped his fingers and the Uber was suddenly on top of a mountain. It was very cold. “Where are we?” Coloratura asked. “We’re on the top of Mount Everfree,” Discord said. “The human world version.” “But…why?” Twilight asked. “You wanted a quicker way back to the pony world, and here it is,” Discord said. And he drove off the edge of the mountain.
Off-Roading with TwilightAfter Twilight teleported Coloratura to Manehattan, she was going to go home, but the ponies crowded around the car kept on bothering her, asking her what it was like to ride in a car. She said it was terrifying – mostly because of Discord’s chosen route, she thought – but they didn’t care. They wanted to ride, too, but Discord didn’t feel like driving anymore. “Why don’t you drive them around?” he said, and suddenly Twilight found herself buckled into the driver’s seat with her hoof on the ignition. Being made for humans, the seat wasn’t particularly comfortable. There were four other ponies in the car with her, one in the passenger seat and three in the back. She wasn’t sure who any of them were, but she was sure she’d seen them around Ponyville before. But she didn’t have time to worry about that. There was no room to move her foot off the ignition, so she was forced to attempt to steer the car as it careened around Ponyville, accelerating as they went. The car reached over 150 miles per hour, heading down the long offroad path to Appleloosa (the straightest, smoothest, and least populated route Twilight could think of) before the engine finally stalled and the car slowed down. The travelers were now in the middle of nowhere.
Restaurant RendezvousNow that Twilight wasn’t quite so tired, she was able to teleport again, and reached Ponyville in an instant. She went to the restaurant that she had dreamed about and ordered three hayburgers. She handed the money to the cashier, who said, “Sorry, you’re three bits short.” He handed her two hayburgers instead. “But I’m sure I had enough money,” Twilight said. “I was going to buy six theatre tickets yesterday and I was only three bits short then. There’s no way three hayburgers cost as much as six theatre tickets.” The cashier pointed at a sign, which said that hayburgers were now ten times as expensive as normal because hay was in short supply. Twilight sighed and took the two hayburgers and her change. Apparently her dream had not been prophetic. She ate the hayburgers sadly, then watched as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon entered the restaurant. “Hey, you gave me that stupid book!” Diamond Tiara said. “You tricked me!” “What?” Twilight said. “You must be thinking of somepony else.” “No, it was definitely you who gave me the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson,” Diamond Tiara said. “I opened it to read it, but it said nothing but ‘Sucker!’ on page three hundred eighty-seven and nothing else in the entire book. Now I will never read anything you recommend to me ever again!” “I’m sorry!” Twilight said. “Please give me another chance. I just needed the rope from you so that I could save Scootaloo!” “Scootaloo was in trouble?” Silver Spoon asked. Though nopony else knew it, she secretly had a crush on Scootaloo. She was sad to hear that she had been in trouble. “Did you save her?” “Yes,” Twilight said. “Er…well, no, actually, no, I didn’t. The other Cutie Mark Crusaders had already saved her first.” “So you didn’t even need the rope?” Diamond Tiara said. “I want it back!” “But I thought it was Applejack’s?” Twilight said. “Oh, yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “Anyway, I threw that copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson into a well,” she said. “That was you?” Twilight asked. She now realized that the copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson that the Diamond Dogs had given her and that she had back at the castle was in fact the same copy that she had started out with in the first place. Maybe the misprints might not be quite so widespread after all. “Yeah,” Diamond Tiara said. “It was bad.” Then she sighed. “I’m still mad that you tricked me, but you’ve given me good recommendations in the past. I guess I’ll give you another chance. Any good books that you know of?” She brushed her front hoof in front of her in a bashful way. “Oh, well, let me think,” Twilight said. She raised her right hoof to her face in thought. Her left hoof still held her non-misprinted copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. While Twilight was thinking, Silver Spoon asked, “Can I see that book?” “Um…okay,” Twilight asked. “But it just says ‘Sucker!’ on every page.” Silver Spoon took the book and looked. It did indeed say ‘Sucker!’ on every page, just as it had the night before. She gave it back. “Have you considered ‘A History of Royals’ by Stalwart Prince?” Twilight asked Diamond Tiara. “No, I hadn’t even thought of reading that book!” Diamond Tiara said. “I had never even heard of it before.” “Well, I have a copy at the castle library,” Twilight said. “I could get it for you if you want.” “Sure!” Diamond Tiara said. “It sounds like a good one.” Twilight teleported to the library, making sure to bring her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson with her. She left the book in the library, grabbed the other book she had recommended to Diamond Tiara, and teleported back to the restaurant. “Here you go!” Twilight said. She handed the book to Diamond Tiara. “Just make sure to bring it back to me when you’re done!” Diamond Tiara skimmed through the book and smiled. “This book seems a lot better,” she said. “Thank you!” “Don’t throw it in a well!” Twilight said, half-jokingly and yet very serious. “I won’t!” Diamond Tiara said. She hesitated for a moment. “You know what, here, take this back,” she said. She gave the three bits she had taken earlier back to Twilight. “Thank you!” Twlight said, and Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon left. “Yes!” Twilight thought. Now she had enough to get another hayburger. She went to the cashier and paid for a third hayburger. As she ate it, she remembered that she still needed to bring the rope back to Applejack.
Trust IssuesWhen Twilight was done eating, she teleported back to her castle, got the rope, and teleported to Applejack’s farm. (Teleporting this time ensured that she wouldn’t run into any more detours.) Applejack wasn’t home. “Applejack?” Twilight called. “Applejack?” “Twilight?” Apple Bloom said, coming from around the corner of the barn. “Is Applejack home? I need to bring this rope back to her,” Twilight said. “No, she didn’t come home last night,” Apple Bloom said. “I thought she might be at a sleepover with you and the rest of your friends or something. Granny Smith and Big Mac thought so, too.” “No, they all went to a performance of Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. “Why didn’t you go, too?” Apple Bloom asked. “Because there were only five tickets left,” Twilight said. “Oh,” Apple Bloom said. “Well, I can take the rope.” Twilight levitated the rope to her, and she took it. “So you don’t know where Applejack is?” Twilight asked. “No, I said that already,” Apple Bloom said. “Or at least I strongly implied it?” “Huh,” Twilight said. She was concerned to hear this, not sure why Applejack wouldn’t have returned. She decided to go check with Rarity to see if she was home. A quick teleport later and she was there. “Rarity, are you home?” Twilight asked, knocking on her door. A few moments later, it opened. “Yes, darling!” Rarity said. “Come on in!” “What happened last night?” Twilight asked. “Apple Bloom says that Applejack didn’t come home.” “She didn’t?” Rarity asked in concern. “She was with us when we got back to Ponyville. She split up with us when we went by her farm. She said she had to check something in the orchard before she went to bed.” “What did she have to check?” Twilight asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rarity’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson on a table. “I don’t know,” Rarity said. “But it sounded important.” “Thanks!” Twilight said. She teleported back to the Apple family farm again. “Back already?” Apple Bloom said. She was only a few feet away from the spot that Twilight had teleported to. “Yep! I saw Rarity and she said that Applejack actually did come home. She just had to check something in the apple orchard.” Twilight said. “But…she never came in the house,” Apple Bloom said. “I would have known. The door is super loud and creaky. Big Mac still needs to fix it.” Twilight frowned and walked to the Apple family’s house. She moved the door back and forth. “What are you doing?” Apple Bloom asked. “I just wanted to see how loud the door was,” Twilight said. “What, you don’t trust me?” Apple Bloom asked. “No, it’s not like that at all,” Twilight said. “Well, then what is it like?” Apple Bloom asked. Twilight was about to respond when she noticed that inside the door, on the kitchen table, was a copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “She must have come home!” Twilight said. “That’s her copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson!” “What? No, that’s my copy,” Apple Bloom said. “I think it’s misprinted, though. It only says ‘Sucker!’ on page three-hundred eighty-seven and it’s supposed to say it on every page.” She had actually read the blurb on the back. Twilight went into the house and looked at the book. It did indeed say ‘Sucker!’ only on page three-hundred eighty-seven and not every page. “Wow, you really don’t trust me,” Apple Bloom said. She was getting angry now. “No, it’s not like that at all!” Twilight said. “Please go,” Apple Bloom said. She slammed the door on Twilight. Twilight knocked a few times, but nopony answered. After a few minutes, she decided to go look around the orchard and see if there was any sign of Applejack.
A Secret Message“Hello? Applejack?” Twilight called. She half-expected to hear cries for help, but no cries came. “Applejack?” After a while, Twilight bumped into Big Mac. “Have you seen Applejack?” Twilight asked. “Nope,” he said. Twilight moved on. After searching almost the entire orchard, Twilight finally found a clue – Applejack’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She knew it must be Applejack’s copy because it had “Sucker!” written on every page, not just page three hundred eighty-seven. Skimming through the book, she saw that there were identical tears on pages five, seven, and forty-nine. “That’s strange,” Twilight thought. Now that she thought about it, May 7th, 1949 was Granny Smith’s birthday. She decided that she needed to find Granny Smith. She went back to the house and knocked again. “Apple Bloom? Granny Smith?” she called. “Oh, it’s the pony who doesn’t trust me,” Apple Bloom said, opening the door reluctantly. “I need to talk to Granny Smith. Is she home?” Twilight asked. Apple Bloom sighed. “Granny!” she called. Granny Smith walked around the corner. “Apple Bloom was telling me about how you don’t trust her about anything,” Granny said angrily. “Why don’t you trust her? She didn’t lie to you!” “I’m sorry, I think there was just a misunderstanding,” Twilight said. “I do trust her, I just like to see things for myself, too. I’m sorry.” Granny Smith sighed. She looked to see if Apple Bloom was listening, but Apple Bloom had returned to her room. “I do the same thing,” she whispered to Twilight. “Oh?” Twilight said rhetorically. Then she showed Granny Smith Applejack’s copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. “Yeah, I recognize that book,” Granny Smith said. “I have a copy of What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson right over there.” She pointed to the table. “I thought that was Apple Bloom’s copy,” Twilight said. “She lied!” Granny Smith said, and laughed. “But I thought you said she didn’t lie?” Twilight asked. “Did I?” Granny Smith said, and winked. Twilight wasn’t sure what to make of that, but decided to move on. “But the thing with this copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson is that pages five, seven, and forty-nine have these identical tears on them,” Twilight said. “And May 7th, 1949 is your birthday.” “That is strange,” Granny Smith said. She looked at the copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson that Twilight was holding. “But I don’t know what it means. Sorry.” Twilight frowned. She looked at the pages again. Suddenly, she noticed something. There was tiny, almost unreadable text written at the bottom of page forty-nine. “Do you have a magnifying glass, by any chance?” she asked Granny Smith. “I think so,” Granny Smith said, and she went into a back room that the Apple family used for storage. “Here it is!” She came back out with a magnifying glass. “Thanks!” Twilight said. She held the magnifying glass over the tiny text and read. “I’m about to be foalnapped by changelings who want to take me back in time to stop Granny Smith from helping to found Ponyville,” the text said. “What?” Twilight said. “What did it say?” Granny Smith asked. “Uh…nothing,” Twilight said. “It’s not really words at all!” She laughed nervously, unsure whether to trust Granny Smith or whether she might be a changeling. “Oh, so you don’t trust me, do you?” Granny Smith asked. “You didn’t trust Apple Bloom, and now you don’t trust me.” “What, no, it’s not…it’s…I…I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” Twilight said, and teleported away before Granny Smith could say anything else. “Whoops, I brought the magnifying glass with me,” Twilight said, and laughed nervously again. She teleported back to the Apple farm. Nopony was in the kitchen anymore.
EavesdroppingTwilight was about to call for Granny Smith when she heard a voice in the other room. “I think she’s onto us,” the voice said. It didn’t sound like either Apple Bloom or Granny Smith. “I think you’re right,” another voice said. “What should we do?” the first voice said. “I don’t know. But let’s tell Chrysalis. She’ll know what to do,” the second voice said. Twilight dropped the magnifying glass and the voices stopped. She teleported away again. She was now back at the castle library, just as she had been the first time she teleported away. “So changelings kidnapped Applejack…and they’re trying to change the past…and for some reason Applejack knew it was going to happen and decided to leave a cryptic message about it,” Twilight said to herself. “What’s that?” Spike asked. He was in the library, too, and had been reading a book called “100 Gems in 100 Days: A Book for True Gem Connoisseurs” by Scalesmouth Wing. He put the book down. “Changelings kidnapped Applejack and they’re trying to change the past and for some reason Applejack knew it was going to happen and decided to leave a cryptic message about it!” Twilight said, more quickly and loudly this time. “What?” Spike said. He felt really out of the loop. “Wait, if we’re still here talking about it, doesn’t that mean their plan didn’t work?” Twilight considered that. “Probably,” she said. “But it might not have worked because we stopped them.” Spike thought about that. “I suppose that makes sense,” he said. “Then let’s stop them!”
Not Really Applejack“So how did you know about the changelings’ plan?” Twilight asked Applejack. “Because I am a changeling,” Applejack said, and changed into her changeling form. “What?” Twilight said. “Wait, was Applejack a changeling all along, or…?” Spike asked. “No, I’m not the real Applejack. Her whole family is in cocoons in the storage room of the Apple family house,” the fake Applejack said. “The room where Granny Smith got the magnifying glass?” Twilight asked. “Yeah, that room,” the fake Applejack said. “How long have they been there?” Twilight asked. “About a week,” the fake Applejack said. “So you were the one who went to Manehattan with the rest of us?” Twilight asked. “Yep,” the fake Applejack said. “And you were the one who tore the pages of your copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and wrote in it?” Twilight asked. “Yep,” the fake Applejack said. “Why so cryptic with the page tearing?” Twilight asked. “Oh, that was just a coincidence,” the fake Applejack said. “I accidentally tore a few pages when I opened the book to write the little message in it. I figured you’d probably see it. And I wasn't really foalnapped; I just had no choice but to go with the others.” “Hmm…” Twilight said. “But why did you help us?” “I don’t want to follow Chrysalis anymore,” the fake Applejack said. “I want to follow Thorax instead.” Suddenly, the fake Applejack changed into the form popularized by Thorax and his changeling kingdom. “Yay!” the fake Applejack said, and started to fly away. “Wait!” Twilight called after them. “Why did Chrysalis want to change the past in the first place?” “I think she thought that if Ponyville hadn’t come to exist, you’d never have visited it and you’d never have stopped her!” the changeling called back, and flew off into the distance.
The True Reveal“Oh, it’s you,” a pony said as they walked by. “What?” Twilight said. “You’re the pony who cleared out my stock and then refused to pay what you owed! Twilight Sparkle, right?” the pony said. He ran a shop in Ponyville, but Twilight couldn’t remember his name. “I am Twilight Sparkle, but I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Twilight said. “I got a mail order this morning from you, but after I sent everything out, your credit card bounced,” he said. “Now I can’t get the stuff back and I don’t have the money.” Twilight suddenly remembered that she had given her credit card to the New Manehattan Publishing Company. That must have been Flim and Flam’s real plan all along - getting ponies to complain about the misprinted books and then tricking them into giving them their credit card information! Twilight teleported all the way to the New Manehattan Publishing Company. A bunch of stuff was being delivered by a whole bunch of carts at once. Flim and Flam were bringing it into the store and laughing. “What do you think you’re doing?” Twilight asked. “Uh…nothing,” Flim said. He hid the thing he had been bringing into the store behind his back. Suddenly, everything went black.
A Rescue AttemptWhile on the way to Applejack’s farm, Twilight heard a cry for help. “Help me! I need help! I am stuck!” the voice said. “Oh, no! Somepony needs help!” Twilight shouted to nopony in particular. She listened to the voice of the calling pony and headed in that pony’s general direction. Or at least she assumed it was a pony. Soon enough, she found an abandoned well on the edge of Ponyville. It had likely been used by early Ponyvillagers to get water for their crops, but it was now covered with spiderwebs. “Hello, is anypony here?” Twilight asked. “Yes, I’m trapped down in this well!” the voice shouted to her. “Please save me!” Twilight wasn't sure whose voice was coming from the bottom of the well - the echoes following each statement were distorting it somewhat - but she figured that it didn’t really matter. “Just a second!” she shouted, and she ran off to go get a rope. The first pony she came across who had a rope was Diamond Tiara, who was bringing it to Applejack’s farm. She had borrowed it from Applejack in order to play jump rope with Silver Spoon and their other friends. “Can I have that rope?” Twilight asked. “Well, it belongs to Applejack…” Diamond Tiara said. “I’m sure Applejack won’t mind,” Twilight said. “I need it to save a pony who’s stuck in a well! Or at least I assume it’s a pony.” “Hmmm…” Diamond Tiara said, deep in thought. “Okay, but it’s going to cost you.” “What?” Twilight said. “But I’m trying to save somepony! Why would you charge me for that?” “I don’t know. I just want to make some money and this seems like a good opportunity,” Diamond Tiara said. “What…why…you…” Twilight said, and then stopped. Shaking her head, she held out three bits and asked, “Is this good enough?” “No,” Diamond Tiara said. “What?” Twilight said, angry now. “Fine, how about if I give you this?” she asked, teleporting the book “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson to them and holding it in midair with her levitation magic. “I don’t want that,” Diamond Tiara said. “It’s amazing, though,” Twilight said. “It changed my life!” Little did Twilight know that having bought the book would in fact have changed her life. But that won’t happen until later. “Did it now?” Diamond Tiara said, slightly more interested. “Yep, it was so incredible! I love it!” Twilight said. “Fine, I’ll take the stupid book,” Diamond Tiara said. So Twilight gave Diamond Tiara her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson and Diamond Tiara gave Twilight Applejack’s rope. “Thank you!” Twilight said. Diamond Tiara just shrugged and walked away with the book. She had also taken the bits, but Twilight didn’t question it. She needed to save that trapped pony! When Twilight got back to the well, she no longer heard any screaming for help. “Are you still down there?” Twilight asked. The only response was an echo of her own voice. “Oh, no!” Twilight thought. “What if there’s still water down there? What if they drowned? What if…?” She repeated several more “What If”s in her mind for a while, unsure what to do now. Finally, she decided to go down in the well and check if anypony was down there. It was big enough for her to fit, so she tied the rope to the edge of the well and started climbing down. Once she was about twenty feet down, she wondered just how deep the well actually was. She tried to crane her neck to look down, but the well was too cramped for that. (It was big enough for her to fit, but not big enough for her to turn around.) She suddenly considered that even if there was somepony down there, she would have a hard time getting them out from this position. Then she remembered that she could teleport and figured that she could just teleport both of them out of the well without having to climb up the rope at all. So she kept climbing down. “Is anypony down here?” she asked again. “Hello?” “Hello?” a voice said from the top of the well. Scootaloo peeked over the edge of the well from the top. Twilight could only barely see her face, but she recognized the voice. “What are you doing?” Scootaloo asked. “I’m going down to see if anypony is trapped down in the well,” Twilight said. “I was trapped down in the well,” Scootaloo said. “But Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom got me out a little while ago.” “Wait, what?” Twilight said, accidentally letting go of the rope in her shock. She started freefalling and banged her head on one of the walls of the well. She fell unconscious.
An Angry Rant“Now what was I doing again?” Twilight thought. Then she remembered. She had been going to see Applejack on her farm. But it was late now. The Moon was up and nopony was on the streets. So she decided to go back home. She headed back to the well quickly to grab the rope she had used (she’d return it to Applejack in the morning) and then went home. “Ah, time for some reading,” Twilight thought, settling down into a comfy chair in her castle’s library with her new copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. She opened the book with anticipation…only to find that it was blank. Again. Flipping through the pages until she reached page three hundred-eighty seven, she found that they were all blank. Until the “Sucker!” page. Another misprint. Even though it was late, Twilight decided to call the publishing company again, anyway. She was very irritated to find that all of the copies of the book must be misprinted and wanted them to hear about it. “Hello?” she said. “This is a recording,” the voice on the other end of the line said. “Please leave a message and we will return your call in the order it was received.” “What? Hello?” Twilight said. There was a click. Irritated, Twilight left a message. “Hello, this is Twilight Sparkle. I got another copy of the book ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson and it was also messed up. It wasn’t the copy you said you were going to send me. It was a copy from the bottom of a well that somepony must have lost, but I am still not happy that it was also misprinted. Did you misprint the entire print run and not even notice?!” Then she swore a few times. Breathing hard from the exertion of her angry rant, she hung up the phone and tossed the book onto a table in the library. She was still angry, but as she calmed down a bit, she regretted having sworn on the phone message. What if they wouldn’t send her a new copy now? She might never find out what “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson was really about. After a few moments of thought, she decided that she had to go to the publishing company and erase that message before they ever heard it. But she’d need some help.
Ticket TroublesThe rest of the Mane Six agreed with Rarity's suggestion, and so they decided to go to Manehattan Broadway. Manehattan Broadway was the name of a theatre, and as was said before, it used to be owned by the Manehattan Publishing Company. They had long since been split into two companies, even before Flim and Flam had bought the publishing company to turn it into the New Manehattan Publishing Company, but the name had still stuck. After looking at the posters outside the theatre, they saw that there was still time to make it to the show – “Avenue Horseshoe.” It was a musical where most of the characters were puppets. “That sounds like fun!” Pinkie Pie said. “Six tickets to Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. She teleported the money from her castle to give to the ticket pony, but realized she was three bits short. “Uh…anypony have three bits?” she asked. “Sure thing,” Applejack said, and took three bits out from under her hat. “Alright, six tickets to Avenue Horseshoe,” Twilight said. She held the money out to the ticket pony. “Sorry, it’s sold out,” the ticket pony said. “Nooo!” Pinkie Pie said. She had really wanted to see the puppet show. “Yeah, a whole bunch of dragons came and bought the place out,” the ticket pony said. “It’s a full house.” “Well, I guess we should just go home, then,” Twilight said. They all turned to leave. “Wait!” the ticket pony said. “I just realized that I made a mistake. There are actually five seats left.” “Only five?” Rainbow Dash said.” But there are six of us!” “Sorry, that’s it,” the ticket pony said. “Can’t you let one of us sit in the aisle or something?” Fluttershy said. “The theatre back in Ponyville lets my animal friends do that sometimes.” “No, that would be a fire code violation,” the ticket pony said. “Sorry!” Fluttershy’s face fell. “Also, I’m going to have to report that the Ponyville theatre is breaking the fire code.” Fluttershy’s face fell even more. “So what should we do?” Rarity asked. “Five of us could go, but the sixth would have to be left out.” “Oh, you girls can go without me,” Twilight said. “After all, I made you all waste your nights to come here for no reason. The least I can do is let you have a good time.” “Are you sure?” Applejack asked. “Yeah, it’s fine,” Twilight said. “Have fun!” “Well, if you’re sure…thank you!” Pinkie Pie said. She gave Twilight a hug, and they all bought their tickets. Twilight tried to pay for them herself like she was going to do before, but they insisted on paying their own way. Applejack did take her three bits back, though.
Down a Well AgainWith the rest of her friends at the theatre, Twilight figured she might as well go home on her own. She started walking toward the train they had used to get to Manehattan when she heard a cry for help. “Help me!” the cry said. “Again?” Twilight asked. “What’s happening now? There aren’t any wells in Manehattan.” Still, she figured that she’d better go see what was going on. Perhaps somepony was being mugged! “Help me!” the cry said again. Twilight rushed through the streets, searching for the source, and finally found it. It was a well. “What?” Twilight said, now utterly confused. She looked down the well, but there was nothing to be seen. “Help me!” the cry said again. This cry was more repetitive than Scootaloo’s cries back in Ponyville. “Help me!” Sighing, Twilight lowered herself down the well, flying this time instead of using a rope. This well was wider than the one back in Ponyville, so that was easier to do than it would have been back there. And this way, she didn’t need a rope. Now that she thought about it, she should have given the rope back to Applejack earlier, but she had left it back at her castle. Oh, well. She could still give it to her in the morning. Twilight continued to go down the well, until eventually she suddenly felt like she had turned upside down and began falling, unable to fly. She landed in a lake. “What the…?” she thought, realizing that she was now in human form. Also, it was daytime.
A Visit to Camp Everfree“Help me!” the voice cried again. Twilight looked that way to see that Scootaloo – the human version of her – was stuck out in the middle of the lake, finding it difficult to swim. “I’ll save you!” Twilight said. Then she realized that she had never learned to swim. “Help me!” she shouted. “Somebody help us!” “I’ll save you!” a voice called from the edge of the lake. It was Bulk Biceps, in human form of course since by now it should be clear that this was the Equestria Girls world. He was the lifeguard for the lake, but had been distracted for a minute by something happening on the shore. Swimming out into the lake, he saved both Scootaloo and Twilight on the same trip, holding each in one arm and paddling with his legs. “Thank you!” Scootaloo said to him, and she ran away to rejoin the other Cutie Mark Crusaders. “Thanks!” Twilight said, and blushed. “No problem,” Bulk Biceps said. He walked back to his lifeguard post. “Huh,” Twilight said. She was still confused as to why there was a well in Manehattan, but apparently it had been a portal to the Equestria Girls world. Considering the portal she had come through was somewhere up in the sky over the lake, she figured she wouldn’t have much luck getting back through it. So she needed to get to the school. “Do you know where Canterlot High is from here?” she asked Lyra Heartstrings and Sweetie Drops, who were holding hands and sharing an ice cream cone that Lyra was holding in her free hand. “Yeah, it’s about a hundred miles that way,” Sweetie Drops said. “Why?” “Wait, where are we now?” Twilight asked. “Summer camp!” Lyra said. “Wait, is this Camp Everfree?” Twilight asked. “Yep!” Lyra said. Twilight had heard about Camp Everfree from Sunset Shimmer, but had never been there herself. She walked around the lake, trying to figure out how she was going to get home. She was still holding her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. Suddenly, she bumped into somepony…er…somebody. “Sorry!” she said, and the other person said “Sorry!” at the same time. “Wait, it’s…hi, Twilight!” they said together. Twilight had run into the version of Twilight from the human world, who shall henceforth be referred to as “Human Twilight.” “How’s it going?” Human Twilight asked Twilight from the pony world, who shall temporarily be known as “Pony Twilight” even though she’s also a human right now. “Fine,” said Pony Twilight. “Cool,” Human Twilight said. “But why are you here?” She was curious, not judgmental or anything. “I’m not sure,” Pony Twilight said. “I fell through a portal in a well in Manehattan and ended up here.” “That’s how I got here!” a voice said from behind Pony Twilight. She turned and saw a human who seemed familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time.
Return to PonyvilleTwilight and Coloratura hugged each other in the back seat and screamed. The Uber went off a cliff that sloped up and started plummeting to the Earth thousands of feet below. Suddenly, the world around them disappeared and the Uber was driving on flat ground again. “We’re here!” Discord said as they drove through a secluded part of the Everfree Forest, narrowly avoiding trees as Discord weaved back and forth. “Don’t ever do that again,” Twilight said. Coloratura looked like she was going to throw up, but she didn’t. “Well, sorry,” Discord said. “I thought I was helping.” The Uber drove into Ponyville and many other ponies gathered around to witness the strange sight. They had seen wheeled vehicles before, but never one quite like this. It was a 1978 Honda Accord, but it looked brand new. “Now we’re really here,” Discord said. He stopped the car and Twilight and Coloratura got out. “Well, I guess I missed my show,” Coloratura said. “Maybe not,” Twilight said, and teleported Coloratura onto the stage on Manehattan Broadway. Avenue Horseshoe was already going on, so the audience (mostly dragons, plus the Mane Six other than Twilight) were confused by this, but the show went on. Coloratura quietly and slowly walked offstage, trying not to disturb anything.
A Long WalkTwilight teleported the other ponies back to Ponyville, but found that she was too tired to teleport back herself. It was late, she hadn’t gotten any sleep, and she had used a lot of her magic already. Also, she was still carrying “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson, which was kind of heavy. She had nearly dropped it at a few points during her drives, but had managed to keep hold of it. So she started on the long walk home, leaving the broken-down Honda Civic on the path to Appleloosa. If Discord wanted it back, he’d have to find it himself. She wasn’t going to do him any favors after what he had just pulled. Well, maybe she’d give him her copy of “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson. It would be such a terrible gift that it might be a sort of negative favor. Anyway, she was still walking on the way home when she heard a cry for help. “Help me! I need help, somepony, please!” Again? Sighing, Twilight headed toward the voice, only to find that it was coming from nowhere. “Help me! I need help! Somepony, please help me!” the voice shouted again. There was nopony to be seen. Twilight realized that she was hallucinating from lack of sleep, so she laid down and went to sleep, using “What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!” by Flimmy McFlammerson as her pillow. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it was still better than the ground. As Twilight slept, she dreamt that she visited a restaurant and bought three hayburgers. She ate the hayburgers, paid for them, and left. Then she woke up. She was rather hungry, and wished that she really had been eating hayburgers. It was now daytime, but she wasn’t sure how long she had actually slept.
Change-ling the PastTwilight flipped through a book until she found the page she wanted – a spell to go back in time to May 7th, 1949. It wasn’t really that specific of a spell, but it was the spell she needed to use. (It was really just a spell to go back in time in general.) Twilight cast the spell and both of them went back in time. Suddenly, they were falling. “Whoops, the castle wasn’t here on May 7th, 1949,” Twilight said. She teleported them to the ground. Then she teleported them to the Apple family farm. It had existed before Ponyville. She and Spike looked through the window of the house. “I think we should name her…Granny Smith,” Granny Smith’s mom said to Granny Smith’s dad. She was lying in bed, holding Granny Smith, who had just been born. The midwife who had helped deliver her was standing in the corner. “Wow, so that’s Granny Smith as a newborn filly?” Spike asked. “Yep! But be quiet! We don’t want to change the past, either!” Twilight said. Spike made a motion as if to zip his lips and throw away the key. Suddenly, there was a sound from behind them. They turned around and saw three changelings, along with Applejack, who one of the changelings - in the form of an Ursa Minor on its hind legs – was carrying. (At least, Twilight assumed that was a changeling.) “No, they beat us here!” one of the changelings said. “My plan worked!” Applejack shouted. “Yippee!” “Be quiet!” the Ursa Minor changeling said. Applejack stayed quiet after that. Before anypony else could do anything, Twilight cast a time travel spell again and brought them all back to the present. Then she teleported the two changelings who weren’t carrying Applejack to cages in Tartarus. The changeling who was carrying Applejack dropped her and ran away. “You’d better run!” Spike shouted. Nopony bothered to run after the changeling, so they got away without issue.
The Real Apple FamilyTwilight teleported herself and Spike back to the Apple family house. She ran into the storage room and freed Applejack, Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and Granny Smith. As they turned to leave the room, their changeling counterparts blocked the way. “You’re not going anywhere!” they said together. Twilight teleported them to cages in Tartarus. “Here’s your copy of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson,” Twilight told Applejack. “What?” Applejack said. She had never heard of ‘What Are You Doing? Buy This Book Now!’ by Flimmy McFlammerson before. She opened the book and saw ‘Sucker!’ written on every page. “Are you trying to tell me something here?” Applejack asked. She thought Twilight might think she was a sucker for getting trapped by the changelings. “Do you think I’m a sucker for getting trapped by the changelings or something?” she said. “What? No! It’s just a fun joke thing,” Twilight said. “Hmm…” Applejack said, but then she smiled. The group left the storage room and went into the main part of the house. “Well, thanks for saving us!” Apple Bloom said. “Thanks,” Big Mac said. “Thank you!” Granny Smith said, and she made some of her famous apple pie for Twilight and Spike. It was a secret Apple family recipe. “This pie is delicious!” Twilight said. “Thank you!” After the pie, Twilight and Spike left the Apple farm. “Do you think Chrysalis will do anything else?” Spike asked. “I don’t know,” Twilight said. “Maybe.” They kept walking.
The EndTwilight woke up to find herself tied to a chair. She didn’t remember anything, not even that her name was Twilight. “You’re not going to stop us again, Twilight!” Oh yeah, her name was Twilight. That sparked her memory and now she remembered everything. “We used a memory charm to erase your memories and now you’re powerless!” “Yeah, I don’t think so,” Twilight said, and she teleported Flim and Flam to cages in Tartarus. Now you know what was being hinted at a while back when I said something was going to happen because she bought the book and gave away her credit card information and stuff, and also the mind erasing thing. So yeah, now it’s happened and there’s nothing to look forward to regarding that anymore. Probably. Twilight teleported back to the New Manehattan Publishing Company and looked through the papers there. Flim and Flam had already stolen the credit card information of at least two hundred ponies. She teleported back to Ponyville, got Spike, teleported back again, and had him send letters to all two hundred ponies. He was pretty tired after that, but she still had him send additional letters to all the places that Flim and Flam had scammed after that, and also all the credit reporting agencies, and finally she sent all the carts back to where they came from. Basically, she did everything necessary to undo the damage that Flim and Flam had caused. After that, she had Spike send messages to Celestia and Luna to tell them about all the ponies she had sent to Tartarus and also to tell them about what Chrysalis had tried to do. She was glad that she had been able to stop the bad guys, and Celestia and Luna were grateful, too. “Thanks for all your hard work!” their letter back said. Three weeks later, Twilight was honored with a medal for her efforts and everypony lived happily ever after. The End
