Author's Note

Warning: This chapter includes self-harm.

Starlight's Meltdown

When the night before Starlight's one year anniversary of being in the human world arrived, it seemed like any other night. Sunset got in her sexy night gown but something hadn't seemed right with Starlight as of late. Rather than wearing the night gown that matched Sunset's perfectly, she had been wearing the two piece pajama sets that she had for the winter. When she headed into bed that night, all Sunset could do was sigh in frustration. She missed feeling Starlight's bare skin wrapped around her body.

Given what the next day was, she was going to do what normally got her to change into something more intimate. She asked, "Starlight, why are you wanting to wear those again? It isn't cold outside and it is always so much better when our bodies are making contact. I want to feel your skin! I don't want to feel fabric.

Starlight sighed and took off her two piece and put on her matching night gown. She threw her two piece in the bathroom and then joined Sunset in bed. Like they had been for so long, it wasn't long until they were completely undressed and were making the same love they had ever since the night of that storm after the premiere.

For Sunset, it was wonderful as always. She loved the way Starlight would suck on her, eat her out and then kiss her so she could taste herself. Starlight did her best to make it look like she was loving it and did a very good job of hiding that it simply wasn't that enjoyable for her anymore. It had become more of a chore for her and given what the next day was, she had so much running through her mind, things regarding her old life.

After having plenty of fun for several hours, the two finally decided to call it a night. The two laid together in the middle of the bed with their bodies wrapped together like always but Starlight simply wasn't all that tired. Thoughts of the past were beginning to consume her. She had also begun to resent and despise herself for ever wanting to stay in the human world as she missed so much from Equestria, her magic being the biggest thing.

When the clock read a quarter after four, Sunset was in a deep slumber and Starlight decided that she needed a release, not the type of release that the two normally do but something to take her mind off of the emotional pain that had been building with in her. When it seemed like Sunset was in the deepest stage of sleep one could fall into, she managed to unwrap her body from Sunset's, only causing her to stir a bit before falling back into her deep slumber.

Starlight then decided to sneak into the dining room where there was a drawer where Sunset kept various office supplies. Despite it still being dark, Starlight knew the layout of everything well enough that she was able to easily find it. She opened the drawer and began to feel around in there, looking for something that would help her with the release she needed.

Finally she found the sharpest pair of scissors in there and closed the drawer very slowly. She then headed back into the bedroom towards the bathroom. Once she got to the bathroom, she pulled the door closed very gently before turning on the light. As she looked at herself in the mirror, the sadness within her only became worse.

Seeing herself as a human had been depressing for the past couple weeks but this time, it was unbearable. Tears began to roll down her face as she thought, "Why did I let the passion get the best of me? Why didn't I just go home like I initially planned?" The tears began to flow more as she began to think about everypony back in Equestria, especially those she was closest to. While her father had treated her like a filly up until recently, she even wished that she were back in Sire's Hollow, in her childhood bed in the safety of her childhood home, safe from everything that led her to where she was now.

She removed the night gown and then opened the scissors up as wide as they would go and positioned them right over her right arm. She gave herself an angry look and slashed herself. She let out a sigh of pain as the blade cut her skin and the blood began to flow. The pain briefly took her mind off of the emotional pain she was going through so she slashed her arm again, right next to the first cut.

The tears continued to flow as she moved on to her other arm and slashed it twice as well. She felt like she was going to start crying but knew that she couldn't. She didn't want to wake Sunset up and have her catch her in the act. She then moved onto her legs and given that they were a bit bigger, she slashed each one of those more.

By this point she was beginning to shake as she was trying to hold back loud screams of pain and a loud cry. She then took the scissors to her breasts. She had grown to harbor nothing short of a pure hatred towards the human anatomy. As she was slashing them she was whispering, "Curse these damn things, curse them! I despise them, I utterly despise them!"

Soon Starlight was standing there, bleeding from multiple wounds all over her body and finally couldn't hold it in anymore. She began to cry loudly, "I can't do it anymore, I just can't! I hate this place, I bucking hate it! I hate my life, I bucking hate it." Her cry became a loud, angry scream, "I just want to be a unicorn again, I just want my old life back, I want my old friends back" her scream increased in intensity as she yelled, "I want my magic back!"

Her cries became louder when finally Sunset came rushing in the door and would be horrified by what she saw. She saw her beloved girlfriend standing there bleeding badly, screaming and crying and what scared her the most was that Starlight was moving the scissors towards her throat, going for what would likely be the final cut.

Sunset knew she had to act so she tackled Starlight and after a fair amount of a struggle, she was finally able to wrestle the scissors away from her. She threw the scissors out into the bedroom, grabbed Starlight and began to sob, "What are you doing Starlight? Why would you do this?"

Starlight threw Sunset off of her, got into the bathtub and curled up in a ball. Her cries got louder, "I hate my bucking life! I miss my friends, I miss Equestria" she then cupped her heavily scarred breasts and screamed, "and I bucking despise these things! I bucking despise them!"

As Starlight's cries became worse, so did Sunset's. She got down by the tub and tried to put her arm around Starlight but would be shoved back. Starlight screamed, "Don't touch me! Just leave me the buck alone!" Her yell became ear splitting as she added, "I bucking hate this place, I just want to go home!"

Sunset knew that Starlight had been down recently but she had no idea how good of a job she had done hiding the pain nor did she have any idea how much emotional pain Starlight was truly in and she certainly didn't know how much she missed Equestria.

She then knew there was likely only one way to heal Starlight and that was to contact Twilight and notify her of what was happening and see if they could visit, even if just for a while. She grabbed the book she used to communicate with Twilight and wrote frantically,

"Twilight,

I have a huge emergency going on. Starlight has cut herself multiple times, is screaming and crying about wanting to come home and she won't even let me touch her. Please help! We have to come to Equestria. Again, please let us come. I'm so scared, I'm so afraid I've lost the Starlight I love.

Sunset"

Sunset closed the book and waited anxiously for a reply. She sat by the book and sobbed quietly as Starlight, who continued to cry and scream, didn't want her anywhere near her. After what seemed to be an eternity to her, she got a response,

"Sunset,

This is bad, very bad. You can come over and I'd advise you do it ASAP.

Twilight"

Sunset thought that maybe this would at least get Starlight to let her get near her. She headed into the bathroom to find Starlight again screaming about how she hated her life. She nudged her and was greeted with an angry yell, "Don't touch me! This is all your fault!"

Sunset knew what she might be yelling about but told her something that might calm her down, "Starlight, I got a message from Twilight. She wants us to come and visit as soon as possible."

It took a couple minutes to finally register for the emotionally distraught girl but once she finally calmed down she asked, "Really, Twilight wants us to come?"

Sunset extended her hand out to help her up and replied, "Yes, Twilight wants us to come."

Starlight slapped her hand back and yelled, "Don't touch me! This is all your fault, you're the one who wanted me to stay in this bucking place."

It hurt Sunset badly that Starlight was behaving this way. She knew not to take it personally though as Starlight was not in a normal state of mind. She handed her pajamas on and suggested, "You should put these on. You can't be seen out in the streets without any clothes on."

Starlight let out another scream before grabbing her pajamas and proceeding to put them on. Every single inch of her clothes going on caused her to scream out in agony. The fabric making contact with her wounds felt worse to her than her cutting herself did. Once she was dressed, Sunset offered her some slippers to put on.

Once she was fully clothed, the two headed out of her house and towards the portal. Sunset tried to hold her hand but would have it slapped away. Starlight again yelled, "What part of don't bucking touch me don't you get? I don't want anypony touching me, anypony!"

It was still before dawn and Sunset was horribly concerned about someone seeing Starlight and hauling her off to a hospital as she continued to scream, yell and blame her for everything that had happened to her. Every single blame hurt Sunset more and more. All she could do was hope that getting Starlight to Equestria would calm her down.