Broken and Rebuilt

It was a fairly quiet trip home for Firelight and Starlight. The train was mostly packed as ponies were traveling all across Equestria. Firelight wanted to discuss things more in depth with Starlight but knew that she likely didn't feel comfortable talking much with so many ponies around. When the train finally pulled into Sire's Hollow, Starlight had never been happier to be home.

When her and her dad got to her house, the very first thing he brought up was her bedroom, "Well Starlight, your bedroom is exactly as you left it!"

That made Starlight cringe. She remembered how she was when she left home. It was a troublesome time for her and she was a bit rebellious, radically different compared to now. When she went into her room, rather than cringing, she began laughing, "Sweet Celestia, I can't believe I used to be like this!"

Her father followed her in and chuckled, "I take it you're going to want to do some redecorating?"

Starlight laughed, "Eventually but for now, I just want to get this teen stuff outta here!"

Firelight replied, "Well I'll let you get to handling it. It is your room and you should have it your way!" He did want to know more though about what happened with her. He asked, "After you do this, do you think you could tell me more about what happened to you? If you don't want to I understand but I'm just curious."

Starlight knew that every good friendship was built on trust and given that after she fixed the problems she had with her dad, that she should give him that trust. She replied, "Yeah, I think getting it all off my chest to somepony close would truly aid me in my recovery."

She stopped her work and the two headed into Firelight's study. He said, "Starlight, now you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

She began, "Well I may as well get it all off." She paused for a minute and started again, "Well it all started when a friend of Twilight's, Sunset Shimmer, needed a new journal. The thing is, Twilight was gone so it was up to me to give it to her. Well I had a stupid moment and wanted to know about this place. I thought the whole human thing was a joke but then I discovered it was all real."

"That had to be shocking." Firelight said.

"Yes, it was. Anyway, there was this crazy girl there that turned into a monster because of a mirror and well I stopped her but then Twilight decided I should stay there for a few extra days to watch this premiere with her friends over there and I spent pretty much the whole time with Sunset."

He asked, "What happened next, if you don't mind telling me?"

Starlight continued, "Well let's just say that becoming a human has its bad things. Suddenly I had human urges, things that no pony would ever even dream of. Sunset and I began to bond in ways that would make even the most promiscuous ponies vomit."

Firelight gasped, "That dirty?"

Starlight replied, "Yes. Well it felt so good and we bonded so close that I asked Twilight if I could stay with Sunset and she agreed. Well we continued engaging in those activities and soon we wanted a sub so this one shy friend of hers joined us and then things only got worse." She began to shudder, "Even thinking about it makes me cringe."

Firelight suggested, "Maybe you should stop there."

Starlight replied, "No, I want to get this all off my chest." She continued, "Well speaking of chests, human females have these things called breasts that the lesbians suck on and play with. For quite some time, I got a great amount of pleasure out of mine being played with and playing with Sunset's and that other friend, Fluttershy's." She paused for a moment and continued, "Then as the one year anniversary of me being in the human world approached, everything began to change."

Firelight asked, "What changed?"

Starlight continued, "Well I began to think about my past life and I missed Equestria, I missed my friends here, I missed being a unicorn and most importantly, I missed having magic. It was all that that caused me to no longer find pleasure in those activities and I grew to resent and hate myself for ever even going there, much less wanting to stay." Starlight began to tear up and finished, "And you see these scars? They are the result of me taking scissors to my skin and slashing myself." She pointed to her chest and finished, "And these scars are from me trying to tear my breasts to shreds. I hated them and wanted them gone."

Firelight asked, "And I take it that is when you came back to Equestria?"

Starlight continued, "Yes. Sunset and Twilight communicate through this book and Twilight said to bring me home. Well I became violent when Sunset tried touching me, I became more violent after I got back to Equestria when Twilight tried touching me, I attacked the ponies at the hospital in Ponyville and well, that is how I wound up in the mental hospital."

Firelight became curious about the touching thing, "The doctor made a big deal about you being touched. What caused that?"

Starlight replied, "Well it was because of all the intimate touching in the human world. When I finally broke, I feared that any and all touching would lead to things like that. It wasn't until I saw you, a pony I knew wouldn't do that, that I felt comfortable being touched."

"So," he asked "do you think you'll ever feel comfortable touching anypony else ever again?"

"I might" Starlight replied, "but probably not anytime soon." Starlight felt she had told him enough and added, "I would really like to get to work on my room again. All that teen stuff has got to go!"

"Thanks for opening up that much Starlight. I'll let you get back to work now." Firelight replied

Starlight then got back to work and finished, "For now though, I want to erase the painful memories of my teenage years."

Firelight nodded and let Starlight get to work. The first thing that had to go was the horned skull on her headboard. "Ugh, seriously?" she gagged. She saw there were plenty of skull decorations and wondered what would possess her to like such things. The next things that had to go were the chains hanging from the ceiling. After that were all the decorations and posters on the wall. As she continued to throw more and more things away, her room began to look more bare and like that of somepony who wanted a clean slate.

Once she had thrown everything into a trash bag and hauled it out to the garbage, she sighed, "A new start! It is time for a new start!"

She then headed into her bedroom and looked into the one thing that she did not discard, her mirror. It was an oval mirror, one that slightly resembled Twilight's mirror but given that it didn't have any magical properties, it did not bother her any. She then began to think about something else, her mane and tail. The way she had it styled was how it was when she followed Sunset through the mirror and decided that she needed a new look.

"What kind of look" she thought, "what should I go for?"

She then thought about everything from her past and how her mane was. There was one part of her that wanted to revert to the mane style that she had when she ran her village since she thought that bangs would look good. She then realized that she was no more mentally stable back then than she really was now. She did want bangs for sure but couldn't help but wonder what would look good. She finally decided to consult with the one pony who had always been there for her, even when she was less than pleasant to him.

"Dad," she questioned "I'm thinking of going for a new look. What do you think would look good?"

She headed into his study and this was something that he never thought about and definitely never expected Starlight to ask him. He loved her regardless and said, "Starlight, it is whatever you want. You are a grown pony and you don't need me to decide."

Starlight sighed, "Dad, I simply asked for advice. I'm not asking you to decide for me."

This was something that was horribly difficult for Firelight. He thought that Starlight would look perfect no matter what and had absolutely no clue as to how a mare should wear her hair. He knew that Starlight was getting older and likely wanted something that looked a bit more mature than the younger mare look she had going on.

He sat there for several minutes thinking, much to Starlight's displeasure, until he decided to pull out a photo album with pictures from before she was born. Her mother died during childbirth so she never got to see her. Her mother's mane was a bit straighter and hung down to the side. Her tail initially went up before curving down and then out a bit. Her mane style also would give her the bangs that she liked. She gasped, "Mom's style looks a lot like the local dentist up in Ponyville, Dr. Colgate."

She had a huge smile on her face and continued, "I love it! I think I'll go with mom's style!"

This will be what Starlight's new mane and tail style will be like.

Firelight had a huge smile on his face, "Alright sweetie. Let's get you to the salon and get you a new style!"

Firelight grabbed the photo album so the stylist would know exactly what she wanted. He was glad to see that Starlight seemed so happy and thought that starting over with removing her past from her bedroom and going with a new mane and tail style. He felt that she truly was wanting to do away with the past that had caused her so much turbulence.