Shipwrights

by PonyAmorous

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance
Length: 8851

Twilight and Cadence are determined to get Applejack and Rainbow Dash to admit their obvious feelings for each other, no matter how oblivious they are.

Twilight and Cadence are determined to get Applejack and Rainbow Dash to admit their obvious feelings for each other, no matter how oblivious they are.

Written for the AppleDash Warm and Fuzzy Feelings Event being hosted by KrazyTheFox.

Published 2020-08-25 12:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-25 12:40:01 UTC

Prologue

"AJ, there's...there's something I have to tell you." Rainbow Dash's wings ruffled in agitation at her sides as she nervously shifted her weight between her legs.

"I'm listening, sugarcube." Applejack replied with a wry smile.

"W-Well the thing is...I–uh–is it hot in this barn all of a sudden?"

"Now that you mention it, it is a mite bit steamy."

Applejack removed her hat to gently fan herself, giving a sharp shake of her head that shook loose her signature ponytail and sent her mane cascading down around her shoulders like a waterfall of gold. Eyes half-lidded and bearing a predatory smirk, she took a step closer.

"You were saying?"

Rainbow Dash's eyes darted around in search of something to focus on that wasn't the thin sheen of perspiration that still clung to the farm pony's coat after a hard day bucking trees with those powerful, well sculpted legs.

"R-Right! I was-uh-I was...where was I?"

"I think..." Applejack slowly leaned forward as Dash's face flushed bright red. "...you were right...." they were so close that each could feel the hot breath of the other on their face, "...about..." Dash's lips parted as she began to lean forward to close the final gap, "h—"

"Cadence! There's somepony at the—"

"AHHH!"

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love and sovereign of the Crystal Empire, flailed at her desk, sweeping a small pile of detailed figurines into a drawer.

"KNOCK! I'VE TOLD YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING THIS ROOM!"

"Yes, dear." Shining Armor replied. "It's just that there's somepony here to see you."

"Did you see anything?!"

"No, honey. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."

"Good!"

After a few quick moments of tidying and the strategic deployment of very important looking papers and folders, Cadence's 'study' was ready once again to receive visitors. She put on her serious princess face, which she immediately dropped again as soon as she saw the lavender alicorn round the corner.

"Twilight!" A quick childish chant and a hug later, and Twilight was already taking a seat next to her. "It's so good to see you! What brings you all the way up here?"

"Well..." Twilight cautiously started while helping herself to an offered cup of tea. "There's this problem I need some help with, or maybe just some advice."

"I'm listening."

"You see...two of my friends...they get along well. Like really well. I think they'd actually make a pretty great couple, but I don't think either of them even realizes it. I want my friends to be happy, and with Hearts and Hooves Day just around the corner, I was wondering if there was any way I could help...speed things along? Help them get over that last hurdle? It's just that the thought of Applejack and Rainbow Dash finally getting together makes me...sorry, that probably sounds super weird, right?"

Cadence said nothing as she reached a hoof under her desk to press a button. Wall panels spun around, revealing charts, graphs, and numerous posters with highly detailed and imaginative illustrations of the pair in question. One particularly large one featured a heart shaped apple with rainbow text in a jagged font reminiscent of lighting bolts spelling out AJ + RD 4EVER.

"Come, Twilight. We have work to do."

Plan A

"Rainbow Dash!"

The pegasus in question opened a bleary eye.

"Rainbow Dash! Are you in there?"

With a sigh, she rolled out of bed and made her way to the door to see who had decided to prevent her taking full advantage of having the day off by sleeping in late. She pushed open the cloud door to see a grinning purple face.

"Twilight?"

"Good! You're up. There's something important we need to take care of. You don't have anything special planned for Hearts and Hooves Day, right?"

"Huh? I guess it's not particularly special, but I was planning to—"

"Well cancel it! Whatever it is, this is definitely a higher priority!"

"It's really that important?"

"It could be the most important thing in your life!"

"Well, okay then." Rainbow Dash stifled a yawn, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Just give me a sec and I'll go clear my schedule." She gave a few stretches before taking to the air.

"Alright, but hurry back!" Twilight called out after her.

A few seconds of the wind racing through her mane, and any remaining grogginess had been blown away. Or maybe it was because she always had a bit of extra spring in her step when approaching her current destination. Spotting her target, she set down in the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Hey, AJ."

"Heya, Dash. Didn't expect to see you up before noon today."

"Yeah, it's not by choice. Look, I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to make our planned game of horseshoes. Twilight needs my help with something and says it's pretty important. You don't mind if we reschedule, do you?"

"No problem at all. In fact, something just came up on my end as well. Turns out Cadence of all ponies needs my help with something."

"Seriously?"

"I know. No idea why she'd need my help with anything. I'd think she'd usually go to Twi first. Anyway, we can just reschedule for tomorrow."

"Cool, see ya then!"

With the matter resolved, Rainbow Dash returned to the air and made her way back to her house in short order to find Twilight still pacing on her doorstep.

"You're back! Good."

"Okay, so what's this all about, Twilight?"

"Applejack."

"Applejack? What about her?"

"She's a pretty amazing pony, right?"

"Yeah, no argument here."

"Strong, athletic, cool under pressure."

"Yeah, that's her.

"And pretty nice flanks, right?"

"Uh...I mean you're not wrong, but that's a little—"

"And the way the sunlight shines off her golden mane! The cute freckles. Those deep emerald eyes you could just get lost in. That warm and welcoming voice that sends your heart fluttering and makes your wings feel like they're going to vault you up into the heavens and never bring you down. That strong and powerful physique, perfect for wrestling in the barn, pinning you down in the hay and—!"

"Okay!" A blue hoof pressed against her mouth to cut her off. "I think I get the point!" Both ponies were flushed bright red, and Twilight looked like she was about to start drooling.

"Sorry. But you see what I'm getting at here?"

"Kinda hard not to."

"Good. Because today's the day that all comes out."

"Look, Twilight, I'm not sure that's really such a great idea."

"Nonsense! It'll all work out great."

"I dunno...I really don't think—"

"Trust me. I know exactly what I'm doing. Now," Twilight pulled out a bouquet of roses with an attached card, on which was written 'For the apple of my eye'. "Take this and go give Applejack the confession she deserves."

"What?! Me?"

"Of course, you! Who else?"

"Well, off the top of my head I was thinking...you?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course I can't do it! It has to be you!"

Rainbow Dash gave a deep sigh. "Alright. I guess I'll do it."

Twilght clapped her hooves together in giddy excitement. "Excellent! Just give that to her and tell her everything!"

"Okay. Guess I better get this over with." She took once more to the air and heard Twilight call out after her.

"Don't worry, you're gonna do great! I believe in you!"

***

Rainbow Dash had only made it halfway to Sweet Apple Acres when she spotted Applejack heading up the road in her direction and carrying something on her back. She quickly landed and approached to see that it was a bouquet of roses almost identical to her own. Both ponies stopped and stared at each other in confusion.

"RD, what in the name of applesauce is going on?"

"I have no idea, other than Twilight apparently has the hots for you."

"Come again?"

"Yeah, she wouldn't shut up about your shapely flanks and stuff. She wanted me to come and give you this." She passed over the bouquet.

"Well if that don't beat all. The exact same thing just happened with me and Cadence. She told me to give you this." Applejack passed over her own bouquet, the card to which read 'You bring color to my world'.

"Seriously?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Isn't she, like, married to Twilight's brother?!"

"Yeah, last I checked. Maybe she's got a spot open for a royal concubine or something?"

"Is that a thing?"

"I have no idea."

"This is crazy!"

"Sure is."

A minute passed as both ponies stood in silence trying to take it all in. Rainbow Dash was the first to resume speaking.

"So...what are you gonna do about Twilight?"

"I, uh...well what do you think I should do?"

"Well, it seems a little weird to me, but you do what you want. If you're actually interested in trying it, then go for it."

"I dunno, it seems kinda weird to me too. Twilight's sweet and all, but I feel like it would just make things too complicated, you know?"

"Totally."

"So, how about you? What's your take on Cadence?"

"Yikes. That's...well that's a lot. I'm definitely flattered, but talk about making things complicated!"

"Yeah, particularly if you had to move up to the Crystal Empire."

"I know, it would really mess with our ability to see each other. You can't exactly pack up your farm and move up with me, and even if I stayed here, I'd still be flying back and forth all the time."

"So that's a no, then?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's just not gonna work out."

"Probably for the best. Can you imagine if we both said yes? We could be in-laws!"

"Oh, Celestia! That would be so weird! Yeah, that's definitely a no to that!"

"Alright, then. I guess we'll just go back and explain to each of them that we appreciate the interest, but neither of us is ready for that kinda relationship at the moment."

"Agreed."

Both ponies nodded then glanced down at their bouquets. Applejack was first to break the silence.

"So...do you think we...? I mean, are we supposed to...?"

A rumbling stomach alerted Rainbow Dash to the fact that she still had yet to eat breakfast.

"I mean...I don't think they do returns, and it'd be rude not too, right?"

"I'm not sure that—"

Rainbow Dash was already busy stuffing her face with delicious rose heads.

"Rainbow!"

"What? If you don't want yours, I'll take them." She reached out a hoof only to have it slapped away.

"Hooves off, missy!" Applejack scolded before tucking into her own treat.

Their snacks devoured, the two gave each other a final affirmative nod and turned to go their separate ways. With her back turned, Rainbow Dash didn't see a pink hoof snake out and yank Applejack into a bush partway down the road. As for herself, she had just barely gotten into the air when a purple figure shot from a nearby cloud and tackled her into another.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Well...you see..." Rainbow Dash tried to find the words as she fidgeted in discomfort. "I'm sorry, Twilight. The whole thing was really awkward and we both just kinda agreed that would be too weird, you know? Just too complicated."

"What?! But...but that makes no sense!"

"Look, I know you and Cadence are probably real disappointed, but that's just the way it is."

"You told her everything, right? About the heart fluttering and stuff?"

"I mean, I paraphrased a bit, but more or less, yeah."

"And she told you everything?"

"Yeah, I got the gist of it."

"And you both LIKE each other, right?!"

"Well, yeah. That hasn't changed, and I don't see it doing so anytime soon. But I don't see what that—"

"THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!"

"Look, Twilight. I know it can be difficult to hear, but sometimes these things just don't work out, you know? It's nopony's fault. It might hurt, but you just gotta pick yourself up and move on, and find somepony else."

"Somepony else? But–But Applejack is right there! And you both already—"

"Yes, but that's a dead end. It's time to look elsewhere. Do you understand?"

"I...No! I can't accept this! I won't accept this! And you shouldn't either!"

"Me?"

"Don't worry, Rainbow! I'll find a way to make this work!"

Before Rainbow Dash could say anything further, Twilight had already taken off, head still reeling with the unexpected development. She approached the designated rendezvous point to find Cadence already waiting for her.

"What in Tartarus happened?!" Cadence exclaimed while waving an angry hoof.

"I don't know! I couldn't hear anything they said from my spot. You?"

"Nothing! But they were definitely talking, and you saw them trade flowers, right?"

"Yeah, they definitely did. So what went wrong?"

"No clue. Applejack said she told her about the 'secret feelings' she and I discussed earlier."

"Yeah, same with Rainbow Dash. I don't know how, but those two adorable idiots must have found some way to screw it up. It's obvious they're both still interested in each other."

"SO obvious!"

"So what do we do?"

"Hmm..." Cadence rubbed a hoof beneath her chin as she summoned every ounce of her expertise in the subject. "Well, Applejack mentioned something about the whole thing just being too weird and awkward."

"Rainbow Dash said the same thing."

"Maybe we just have the wrong atmosphere. Maybe we need to set the mood a little."

"Right. Hang on."

Twilight stepped closer, illuminated her horn, and teleported them both to the highly restricted section of her laboratory used for...micro-sociological studies. One wall featured a chart with numerous ponies connected by a maze of lines, with compatibility indices and speculative notes and sketches regarding possible phenotypical traits of any future offspring. One locked drawer contained manuscripts of...hypothetical social scenarios.

More important than all of that, however, was the ample supply of chalk and expansive blackboard space. Space that was soon covered in complex mathematical equations, diagrams, and crude stick figure ponies with hearts floating above their heads. Twilight and Cadence took turns trading off between furious scribbling and either nodding pensively or idly tossing a pen up to stick in the ceiling while leaning back in a chair. Miniature figures were arranged and rearranged on the grid lined tactical planning table. Twilight's tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she carefully levitated the dropper to release a single drop of pink liquid into the large flask, watching as the solution fizzed and changed color. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she poured it into two waiting glasses, and they both enjoyed a quick break for fruit punch before getting back to work.

Finally, after two hours of montaging, they turned to each other and shared a high hoof of victory.

Plan B was ready.

Plan B

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Hmm?" Rainbow Dash rolled over on her fluffy napping cloud to find Twilight hovering above her. "Oh, hey Twilight. I was wondering where you ran off to. Look, about that thing with Applejack."

"Oh, never mind about that for the moment. I just wanted to invite you to lunch!"

"Lunch?"

"Yeah, my treat. It was just going to be a working lunch between me and Cadence. You know, princess stuff. Then I decided, hey, why not invite some of my other friends? So you and whoever else is free. We'll just see who turns up. You're not busy, right?"

"Are you kidding?" Rainbow Dash jumped to her hooves, instantly alert. "I'm never too busy for free food. Lead the way."

"Great. I managed to get a reservation at the Golden Saddle."

"That fancy place downtown? On short notice? On Hearts and Hooves Day? How'd you swing that?"

"I have my ways."

Said ways amounted to two alicorn princesses throwing hefty sacks of bits at the owner while informing him that his establishment was temporarily closed to the public for the day.

"Weird, I would have thought this place would be busier" Rainbow Dash remarked upon entering the deserted and surprisingly dimly lit restaurant.

"Oh, uh, I guess everypony thought it would be too busy so nopony bothered? Or maybe they're all just filling up on carnival food at the festival?"

"Oh, right. I totally forgot that was a thing happening today."

"Yeah, that's probably it. Anyway, here's our table."

They arrived at an opulent private booth, the seats upholstered in red velvet. Candles in the center of the table shed a gentle glow, which only seemed to highlight the darkness caused by the blacked out windows cutting off the midday sun. No sooner had they taken their seats, then Twilight spotted the other two guests making their way through the door.

"Excuse me a bit. I have to go use the little fillies' room."

As Twilight quickly exited, Cadence made a similar excuse to Applejack and darted out of sight, leaving the two ponies alone at the booth. The two shared a look and sighed.

"I see what's going on here."

"Eyup. Pretty darn obvious if you ask me."

"Yeah. Twilight saw you coming in and panicked."

"And Cadence caught one look at you and bolted. I guess it'll take a while to get over that awkwardness."

"Right. So do you think they'll come back after a bit, or is the lunch cancelled?"

"I reckon we can give them a bit of time to powder their noses and settle their nerves."

Just then, their waiter arrived. An unusually tall, pink unicorn in a neat suit with surprisingly feminine features that clashed with their bushy mustache.

They placed a tray of appetizers down on the table. "For ze lovely couple." They said in a truly terrible Prench accent. Meanwhile, a lavender pony had begun playing a viola nearby.

"Actually, we're here with two other friends." Applejack clarified. "They should probably be back soon, so bring us two extra menus, please. "

"Ah, no need for zat. Zee entire meal has been pre-selected and paid for in advance. You need only to relax and enjoy."

"Oh. Well, thank you kindly, then."

The two helped themselves to the delicious cheesy biscuits serving as appetizers. Though they initially planned on saving some for Twilight and Cadence, this quickly gave way to a mutually agreed upon policy of snoozing begetting losing. Drinks and salads followed quickly, along with some mouth watering pasta dishes.

"This is some top quality grub, I tell you what." Applejack said between mouthfuls of stuffed ravioli.

"Yeah. A shame Twilight and Cadence are missing out. I'm pretty sure they're not coming back, though." Rainbow Dash replied through mouthfuls of her own.

"You think maybe we should stop, then?"

"No way! You heard the waiter. It's all prepaid. We can't let Twilight's bits go to waste, can we?"

"You're right. It would be downright irresponsible to NOT keep stuffing our faces."

"Exactly! Though the one thing I could do without is the champagne'. It always gives me heartburn."

"Yeah, I never cared for the stuff either. But don't worry, I got you covered."

Applejack reached under her hat and retrieved a metal flask. She stretched across the table to fill Rainbow Dash's glass with apple cider.

"No way! Thanks Applejack! You're so awesome!"

"Ah, it's nothing. You know I'm always gonna look out for my best gal."

"Seriously, I love you! You're the best."

No attention was paid to the snapping of a viola string and the player darting hastily away to the kitchen as the two returned to their meal. The main course was soon finished and cleared away to make room for dessert in the form of a selection of stuffed pastries, along with various fruits and a chocolate fountain. The pair made short work of the strawberries, but when they got to the cherries, Applejack decided to show off. Into her mouth went a single cherry, and out popped a stem tied in a perfect bow.

"Dang, AJ. You got some serious tongue skills. You really gotta teach me how to do that sometime."

"Yeah, I reckon I probably could teach you a thing or two. Might take a couple long nights of practicing though."

The clattering sounds of several dishes being dropped rang out from the kitchen, but were ignored. The two moved on to the eclairs. Neither being known for their neat eating habits, this resulted in errant bits of cream sticking to faces.

"Uh, Applejack? You got a little something right there."

"Hmm? Where?" Applejack began blindly wiping at her face.

"No, over there. Just wait a sec."

Rainbow Dash leaned forward and reached out a hoof as two ponies watched with baited breath from around the doorway to the kitchen. With careful precision, her hoof gently scraped the dollop of cream from Applejack's cheek, quickly bringing it back to her own lips where it was greedily devoured.

"Did you get it?"

"Most of it. Looks like there's a bit of residue though. Hang on."

Rainbow Dash suddenly lurched forward and licked the residual dessert off Applejack's cheek. Muffled screaming emanated from the kitchen.

"Seriously? You that much of a greedy glutton that you gotta take every last bit of my dessert as well as yours?"

"Hey, would you believe it actually tastes better that way?"

"Hush, you. I swear I can't take you anywhere. Anyway, it looks like we're about wrapped up here. I guess we don't need to wait for a check since it's all pre-paid. Do you think we just get up and leave or—"

"Excuse' moi." The waiter returned, nostrils now stuffed with tissue paper in the wake of a recent nosebleed, and bearing an envelope. "An urgent letter for the two mademoiselles."

The two opened the envelope to find a letter from Twilight.

Hi guys. Sorry we missed lunch, but some important princess business suddenly came up and Cadence and I had to go take care of it. We already ate, so don't worry about that. Anyway, there's actually something we both need your help with, so please meet us at the spa. We'll get there as soon as we can to let you know more.

-Twilight

Plans C - Z

Applejack and Rainbow Dash entered the room that the spa ponies had directed them to when they had arrived at the front desk to find reservations already made in their names. A large heart shaped hot tub filled the center of the room, though not so large as to allow too much space between occupants. The surface roiled with turbulence from the powerful jets below, and the rising steam carried the intoxicating scent of lavender oil. The outer perimeter was sprinkled with a layer of loose rose petals, and the dark and windowless room was illuminated by a scattering of candles.

"Is there some kind of electrical outage in Ponyville I don't know about?" Applejack asked as she glanced around at all the candles.

"Maybe?" Rainbow Dash replied, wasting no time getting herself situated in the hot tub. "But at least they have snacks." She scooped up a hoofful of the rose petals and crammed them into her mouth.

"Didn't we just finish stuffing our faces?" Applejack slid into the water beside her.

"And?"

"And I'm wondering how, given the way you pack away food and nap like a dragon, you aren't fatter than a tick in a blood bank. Much less, rocking the sleek and muscled look."

"That's because, between all that napping I'm burning calories like crazy with extreme stunt flying. Pulling a hairpin turn at the speed of sound isn't something you can do on just a light breakfast."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. I suppose there's a reason why all my family recipes use so much butter. Farm work ain't no joke, either."

"Speaking of which, that lunch you made for me the other day? Fantastic. Wouldn't mind some more of those in the future."

"Anytime. I'll be sure to fatten you up so much you can't even lift off the ground."

"Nah, that won't happen. Because you're forgetting that every time we get together, we always end up doing something physically strenuous. Some competition or something."

"True, we do have a knack for finding ways to work up a sweat, don't we?"

"Yeah. Hanging out with you is a surefire way to get my heart rate up."

Up above a slightly ajar ceiling tile, two voyeuristic alicorns were pressing hooves to their mouths to suppress screaming.

"Do you think they're doing this on purpose?" Twilight whispered to Cadence.

"Shh!" Cadence pointed down at Applejack who had resumed speaking after putting a hoof on her chest.

"Hoo! Speaking of which, my heart feels like it's near about to leap out my chest. I think it's time for a water break."

"Yeah, that sounds good."

Both ponies stood up and made their way over to the water cooler in the corner. After a few minutes of rehydration and idle chatter, they made their way back to the steaming waters. While Rainbow Dash slid her way in, Applejack dropped in a bit more suddenly, sending a small wave to splash her bathing partner.

"Oops. Sorry about th—"

She was cut off by a huge wave of water splashing into her face, instantly drenching her mane. She leveled a hard stare at the grinning polychromatic culprit. Then all Tartarus broke loose. The waters erupted into a churning mass of splashing, tackling, and peals of girlish shrieking, particularly once the unspoken ban on tickling dissolved. It was a small miracle that any water manged to stay in the pool given the escalating series of locks and body throws.

Finally, the tussle died down with Applejack pinned with her head just above the water, her blonde mane floating freely behind her and spread wild across the surface like a reflected sunset shining off the ocean. Rainbow Dash stood over her, victorious, her own mane pulled down around her head with the weight of water. A thick multicolored strand hung down over one eye, dripping gently into the water beside Applejack's head. Both ponies panted heavily from the exertion, faces flushed a deep red. A state mirrored by the two alicorns watching intently from the ceiling above.

"You-you're looking a bit red in the face there, RD." Applejack said with a grin. "You sure you're not slipping? Getting out of shape?"

"Hah!" Rainbow Dash grinned back. "Look who's talking. Your face is way redder than mine! And you're...heh...breathing way...heh...harder than I am."

"Well now you're just spouting nonsense. You're...heh...wheezing harder than a...heh...a chainsmoking...heh...something or other."

"Yeah, well I think it's time for some more water."

"Agreed."

The two once again made their way to the water cooler, oblivious to the glares of disappointment and incredulous fury being shot their way from the ceiling.

"How is this possible?!" Twilght asked in a harsh whisper. "How does a plan simultaneously go so well and still fail!"

"Well this isn't working. We gotta try another change of venue. We can't give up now!"

"Alright, just give me a second."

Twilight pulled out a scroll and quill and began drafting another quick letter. When it was finished, it vanished in a quick flash of teleportation, reappearing right above the two relaxing ponies and landing on the water cooler. Another flash quickly followed, leaving them alone in the room.

"Another letter from Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Looks like." Applejack replied as she opened it.

Hey guys. Sorry, but it looks like we couldn't make it to the spa after all. Hope you didn't wait too long. We'll be outside at the festival grounds. Meet us there.

-Twilight

"And of course she doesn't say where particularly at the festival to meet them." Applejack grumbled. "Come on, I guess we'll just have to search around if we ever wanna find out what this is all about."

***

Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked out at the mass of ponies circulating among the bright and colorful attractions of the Ponyville Hearts and Hooves Day festival. Finding two ponies in this crowd didn't look like it was going to be a simple matter. If either of them could magically transmit messages back to Twilight and Cadence, that would be one thing, but there was no sense crying over spilled cider.

"So, do you think we should split up or something? Check in at the big wheel every ten minutes in case the other found them, or maybe just have one of them fly up and shoot some sparks or something?"

"I dunno, seems like splitting up is just asking for more trouble. Maybe we should—"

"You there! Yes, you in the hat!"

Both heads turned to see a pair of mustachioed ponies in pinstriped suits and straw hats calling out to them from a nearby games booth.

"Care to test your skill and win a prize for the lovely mare?" the purple one asked.

Applejack shook her head. "Nah, we're not here for that. We're just trying to find our friends."

"Yeah. Besides, if anypony is going to be doing prize winning around here, it would be me."

"Hold on a minute there, Dash. Are you saying I can't be a provider?"

"Of course not. I'm just saying that between the two of us, it's pretty obvious who would be winning prizes for whom."

There was a sharp clink of bits being slammed down on the counter. Rainbow Dash fumbled about for bits of her own only to realize she hadn't brought any money with her.

"Uh, first game is on the house!" The pink games pony declared.

Both ponies proceeded to engage in a duel of carnival games. Water guns were fired at targets, rings were tossed, darts thrown, goldfish caught. All the while winning free new games in a frankly irresponsible business model while accumulating matching piles of stuffed animals. It was still a dead tie when the booth ran out of prizes.

"Uh, wow. You two sure are something." The purple pony commented.

"Yeah, but I'd bet you'd be even more unstoppable together" the pink one added.

"You know, I think they're right." Rainbow Dash said around her mountain of prizes. "I saw a whole bunch of two pony team events listed."

"So you reckon if we partner up and enter..."

"Yeah, we could totally crush this entire festival! Come on! There's still space to sign up."

They both threw their respective piles of prizes aside and rushed off to the sign up tent. Meanwhile, the two ponies behind the booth shared a look and tossed their disguises aside to chase after them, leaving behind the unconscious forms of Flim and Flam, still stripped, bound, and gagged beneath a tarp under the counter.

What followed couldn't be described as a competition, so much as utter domination. Rainbow Dash and Applejack decimated all competitors in the six legged race, the water balloon toss, couple's trivia, couple's charades, the newlyweds game, couple's volleyball, couple's dodge ball, couple's swing dancing, couple's break dancing, and the couple's cage match free for all. Though it wasn't an officially listed event, they were also winning at couple's trash talking.

"Looks like the Cakes just got served! Booya!"

"More like LyraBon-voyage!"

All fell before the unstoppable duo.

"Wait!" Rainbow Dash suddenly shouted as Applejack smashed a chair over Starlight's head, sending her down to the mat to collapse ontop of Trixie. "Wasn't there something we were supposed to be doing?"

"Aw, shoot! You're right. We still gotta find Twilight and Cadence!" She turned over her shoulder and shouted. "Hey, Big Mac! Make sure my trophies get back to the farm, will ya?"

"Eyup" Came a moan from the broken heap next to Sugar Belle.

"Right. Now where to start looking."

Just then, a voice rang out from nearby.

"I can't wait to ride the big wheel!"

"Yeah, I bet you could see the entire festival from up there!"

"Yeah, that sure would be useful if you were looking for somepony in particular!"

"What a strangely specific and yet entirely accurate observation!"

With a shared look and a nod, the pair took off, closely pursued by two hooded ponies.

***

"Well I don't see anything. What about you, Dash?"

"No I don't see them anywhere either."

"Well keep your eyes peeled. They gotta be here somewhere."

As their carriage reached the apex of the circuit, there was a sudden lurch and everything stopped. Down below, sparks flashed from the box where a mass of gears and wires had been ripped out by telekinesis.

"Arrgh, what now?"

"Dunno. But at least it gives us a little more time to search up here."

They continued searching the crowds down below for a solid ten minutes, but all they could see was the stunning view. It would be a while yet until the sun was properly down, but it was still low enough in the sky to add a tinge of color to the horizon and set the surfaces of the various lakes and small ponds that surrounded Ponyville sparkling like diamonds. A pony who paid more attention to such things might even suspect that somepony had called in a favor or two from Celestia to get some early dusk rays and stretch the whole thing out a bit longer.

Applejack gave a sigh. "Well, no luck here. But I gotta admit, at least the view is something. I can see why you like living with your head up in the clouds."

"Eh, it's alright I guess. Maybe I'm just too used to seeing them all the time." There was a brief pause. "Though I guess there is something about company that makes it look better. Still nothing compared to the view from above the cloud line though."

"That does sound like something else."

"Yeah. Maybe we can get Twilight to dig up that cloud walking spell again and I can show it to you some time. And then you could come hang out at my place once in a while. I've got a patio I sculpted myself that has a pretty good view of the stars. Probably catches good sunrises too, I imagine."

"Heh. Can't imagine you rising with the sun."

"Yeah, well that's why I said 'I imagine'. Purely speculative. You'll just have to come over and let me know sometime."

Far down below, two ponies were struggling to hastily assemble a parabolic microphone.

"Hurry up!" urged Cadence. "I have to know what they're saying!"

"Just a second!" Twilight replied as she snapped the last component into place and aimed the device at the top of the wheel, twisting the knob to focus. With a crackle, they finally heard Applejack's voice coming through.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that sometime soon. Just as soon as—hey wait a minute. Is that them down there?"

"Where?"

"There. Holding that thingy."

"Oh, yeah that totally is them! Hey! Twilight! Cadence! We're up here!" Rainbow Dash shouted down at them, forcing Twilight to quickly lower the volume on the microphone.

"Ah, shoot. But now we're stuck all the way up here."

"Not for long!"

With an utter disregard for the rule of keeping one's limbs within the ride at all times, Rainbow Dash wrenched up the passenger bar and hopped free of the immobilized carriage. Wrapping her forelegs around Applejack's midsection, she lifted her free and gently carried her down to the two princesses below. Twilight hastily hid the device behind her back, incinerated it, and teleported the ashes away as they touched down for a landing.

"There you two are! We've been looking all over for you! Now, what's this thing you needed to tell us about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh, uh. The thing?" Twilight stammered out. "Yes, the thing. The important business. Very important. It's, uh..."

"A mission!" Cadence answered.

"Yes! A mission."

"Like one of those friendship missions from the map?" Applejack queried.

"Yes! Except no. A different kind of mission from a different map." Twilight answered.

"A romance map!" Cadence added.

"Yes! The romance map in Cadence's castle."

"Wait, there's another map in the crystal empire?" Rainbow Dash asked, confusion etched on her face.

"Well of course." Cadence replied, as if it were obvious. "I live in a crystal castle too, so of course I also have a crystal map that gives out missions."

"That's just science." Twilight added.

"Uhh...alright then." Applejack nodded "But what does that have to do with us? We haven't noticed our cutie marks glowing recently or anything."

"Well, uhh..." Twilight grasped for an answer. "The mission is technically just for me and Cadence, but we're allowed to delegate, and to be honest we could really use some help with this one. Would you mind?"

"You kidding? Of course we'll help!"

"Sure thing, sugarcube. What exactly do you need us to do?"

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, there's two ponies somewhere in Ponyville who need to become an official couple by the end of the day. They're a great match, perfect for each other, and they get along great, but they're either too scared to make the next move or too oblivious to even recognize their mutual feelings for each other. Their friends all know they belong together, and it's driving them all crazy! So do you think you could help?"

Applejack nodded. "Say no more, Twilight. I think we both know exactly what needs to be done."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash added, "we have a pretty good idea who it is you're talking about."

The two looked at one another and shared a knowing smile before turning and running off in the same direction.

"Wait, WHERE ARE THEY GOING?!" Twilight screamed as she and Cadence ran after them.

***

"Just be honest about your feelings!"

"Tell her already, you coward!"

"Everypony else already knows it!"

"Seriously! All this will they, won't they crap is driving everypony up the wall! It's the most frustrating thing ever!"

By the time Twilight and Cadence caught up, a small crowd had gathered around to watch Applejack and Rainbow Dash haranguing a pair of ponies about their love life with all the subtlety of a freight train. From within the center of the commotion, Viny Scratch opened her mouth to speak, but Octavia quickly raised a hoof to stop her.

"No, don't say anything. I...I need to get this off my chest. Vinyl, I...when I look at you, everything within me...crescendos. The tempo of my heart shoots straight to prestissimo, while my stomach drops out from under me like so much bass. The world is a waltz whenever I'm with you, and I never want it to end. Vinyl, will you make sure this party in my soul never stops jumping, forever?"

Vinyl smiled and gave a silent nod, causing the surrounding crowd to burst out into a wave of cheering. Applejack and Rainbow Dashed emerged, sharing a hoofbump, and approached Twilight and Cadence.

"Well I'd say that is one romance problem officially solved." Rainbow Dash said, radiating self-satisfaction.

"Uhh, nope! Guess that wasn't it!" Cadence responded.

"Right, no glowing cutie marks." Twilight pointed at their flanks. "There must be some other pair of ponies in town who need to get together."

"Ah, dang! I really thought it would be those two. Don't worry, Twilight. We'll find these ponies and make sure they pull their heads out their hindquarters. Come on, RD! We're burning daylight!"

The two alicorns set off after them just as soon as they finished a bit of cosmetic magic to cover up the bruising from the force of their facehoofing.

***

"Just do it!"

"Yeah! Quit fussin' about like a bunch of little colts and fillies at their first school dance! It's just plum embarrassin' to watch!"

"But this is our first school dance!" a small filly cried back at them.

The rest of the room nodded and shuffled about, still refusing to make eye contact with anypony else. Meanwhile, Twilight and Cadence sipped from glasses of punch that they had enhanced with additions of generous proportions from a metal flask.

"That's no excuse!" Rainbow Dash fired back. "For all you know, this could be your last and only chance!"

"But we're only twelve!"

A steely and distant look settled over Applejack's face.

"The reaper ever waits in the shadows. Nopony can ever know the date or the hour. Any second could be the one in which his terrible scythe descends, cruelly truncating the story of one's life to a sudden and bitter ending without resolution. The threads left forever dangling. Leaving behind only grieving loved ones who did not realize how little time they truly had left. A crushing weight of words left unsaid, chances not taken, experiences not lived. A world of possibilities blocked off by fear and uncertainty, now forever blocked by the cold eternity of the grave. That scythe hangs over each and every one of us, and none can know when it will drop. In light of this horrible yet inescapable truth, an opportunity not seized, a chance ignored with the unfounded assurance that there will always be a tomorrow in which to try again, is not only a tragedy, but the most horrible of crimes! Not only against oneself, but against those we love."

After a moment of stunned silence, the room erupted into a storm of crying, terrified hugging, and desperate romantic confessions. Twilight and Cadence followed after Applejack and Rainbow Dash as two of the teacher chaperones showed them to the door with great insistence.

"Come on, that had to have done it!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Nope, still wasn't it." Twilight replied once again in a flat tone, taking another drink of her punch.

"Well we ain't givin' up on this, are we RD?"

"No way! There's still a bunch of ponies left out there!"

Twilight and Cadence just groaned

***

"Do it!"

"Confess!"

"Kiss already!"

"Tell her the truth!"

"Tell him how you feel!"

"Just kiss the girl, you idiot!"

As the sun continued to dip lower, the duo continued to race back and forth across town, uniting waffling couples with a complete lack of tact or discretion. Their tagalongs finally decided they had had enough when they broke out into a musical number that was both highly problematic from the standpoint of affirmative consent, and a blatant violation of copyright law.

It was dark by the time Applejack and Rainbow Dash finally stopped on a grassy hill on the outskirts of town.

"Well I'm pretty sure that's everypony in town who weren't already hooked up to begin with. Did we miss anypony?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I don't think so. That had to have done it."

"So what do you think, you two? Did that—" Applejack looked around to find that they were alone. "Now where did those two go running off to?"

"What? I thought they were right behind us."

"Same."

"Maybe they just went to go get a seat for the fireworks?"

"Right, I heard that was starting soon."

"Yeah, that's probably it."

"So what do you wanna do now?"

"I dunno. I guess we can chill here for a bit."

They sat in silence for a few moments with only the chirping of crickets. After a while, Applejack spoke up.

"Dash?"

"Yeah?"

"I just had a crazy thought."

"What?"

"Well...I know it sounds ridiculous, but what if the two ponies that are supposed to hook up are..."

"No way. You can't mean..."

"Think about it. They're the only two ponies left in Ponyville that haven't gotten together, despite palling around all day today. They're about as close as two ponies can be. What if the answer has been right under their noses the whole time?"

"But...oh, that would be so weird!"

"It sure would. But maybe that weirdness is worth pushing through. Maybe they just gotta...go for it and see what happens."

"Yeah, but how would that even work?! I can't even picture it. Although, AHHH! I pictured it! Now I can't STOP picturing it!" Rainbow Dash shook her head as her face burned bright red.

"Y-Yeah! Me neither." A scarlet tinge was creeping up Applejack's own face.

"But seriously, though. How do we know it'll even work out?"

"We don't. But some things you just gotta take a leap of faith on."

"Alright. I guess I'm onboard."

The two ponies sat in silence, staring up at the stars.

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"But what will Shining Armor think?" Rainbow Dash finally voiced the question on both their minds. "I mean, his wife and his sister?"

"I dunno. But maybe they'll be able to come to some sorta...arrangement? I mean, it ain't exactly common, but I've heard that that kinda thing wasn't entirely unheard of when it comes to royalty. At least, in some parts of history."

"Yeah, I guess. And I think that's even, like, a whole genre or something in those backwards comic books that Fluttershy likes. Well, whatever! It might be weird, but if that's what ends up making them happy, then I'll support them!"

"Right, we just gotta find them again. Then make them face their secret feelings for each other."

The night sky suddenly lit up with a series of colorful explosions.

"Which can probably wait until tomorrow." Applejack quickly amended.

The two ponies sat and watched the display in the night air that was comfortable, yet not so warm that one couldn't still enjoy the body heat radiating off a nearby friend. The perfect kind of night for etching precious memories deep. From a bush on a nearby hill, a pair of alicorns, binoculars in hoof, maintained a constant vigil over the two. As the fireworks continued, the two observers watched as the fatigue of a busy day slowly crept over the pair.

Rainbow Dash was the first to succumb, tipping sideways to lean her head against Applejack's shoulder. Applejack did nothing to dislodge the drowsy pegasus and simply laid her own head down ontop of hers. What followed was a slow and gradual collapse, like the subsidence of a continental plate. Their sleeping forms sank lower to the ground, then re-positioned, unconsciously closing in on the nearby warmth. By the end of it, the two sleeping ponies were curled up together, wrapped in each other's hooves under the gentle starlight.

***

Eyes, bloodshot from lack of sleep, continued to peer through binoculars at the still sleeping forms wrapped tightly around each other as the sun began to rise. Applejack's ears began to twitch, followed by an eyelid. She yawned and blinked a few times before finally opening her eyes fully and looking around.

"Ah, dangit. Hey, Dash. Wake up." She prodded at the sleeping pony beside her, eliciting only annoyed grumbling noises. "Come on, get up." She repeated as she worked to extricate herself.

"What? What is it?" Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"We went and fell asleep out here, that's what."

"Ah, seriously?" Rainbow Dash groaned as she rolled over and immediately felt the truth of it in her back. She climbed to her hooves and attempted to stretch out some of the stiffness. "Ah, I can't believe we did that."

"Yeah, there's some fair difference between a hilltop and a proper bed."

"How do you think I feel? I typically sleep on clouds!"

After a great deal more grumbling and cursing, they managed to get through some morning stretches and finally started to feel a little better.

"Well I should probably get on back to the farm and check on things. Maybe get some breakfast started. Then we can start looking for Twilight and Cadence."

"Sounds good, I just need to pop back to my place and check on Tank, then I'll join you for breakfast."

"Alright, see ya in a bit."

"Catch ya later, babe." Rainbow Dash planted quick kiss on Applejack's lips.

She was about to take off when she was interrupted by sudden uncontrollable screaming from a nearby hill. Her head whipped around along with Applejack's as two figures burst from a bush and raced straight towards them, flying in circles around them and still screaming like banshees. Rainbow Dash and Applejack shared a concerned look, worried over the apparent bout of madness that had overtaken their friends.

"Uh...Twilight? Cadence? Are you okay?" Rainbow Dash cautiously approached the hysterical ponies who were now hugging each other tightly in midair while crying tears of joy.

"Of course we're okay!" Twilight shouted back, sporting a manic grin, bloodshot eyes, and a disheveled mane. "You two are together!"

"Uh...come again?" Applejack replied.

"It took forever, but we both believed in you! We never gave up on you!" Cadence cheered.

"And now the day has finally come!" Twilight continued.

"Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash gently asked.

"I mean, maybe it's technically the day after Hearts and Hooves Day, but I'll take it!"

"Twilight."

"And now your life together can finally begin! The future is bright!"

"TWILIGHT!"

"Hmm?"

"Um...I was pretty sure you knew this already, but Applejack and I have been dating for months."

"W-What?" Both princesses said in unison, mouths hanging agape.

"Yeah. We thought you knew. Everypony knew. I mean, we're flirting all the time! And I'm always staying over at her place."

"But...But I've never seen you guys making out or anything!" Twilight choked out as she attempted to grapple with her entire reality falling to pieces.

Applejack stepped forward to answer. "That's just because we ain't big on overly showy public displays of affection. Or all the schmaltzy holiday stuff. Don't mean we don't care about each other, just because we don't go suckin' face on every park bench."

"But...But what about all that stuff you said yesterday about it being weird and awkward and not being ready for change?"

"Right" Rainbow Dash answered. "We're totally fine with the way things are, but at the moment, we're just not ready to...open things up to anymore parties."

"Not that you're not both wonderful ponies." Applejack rushed to reassure. "And maybe things might change someday in the future, but for the time being, we're just more comfortable keeping things simple with just the two of us. You understand, right?"

There was a beat of silence as mental gears turned.

"Oh. OH!"

"Yeah, no. That's fine. Totally fine."

"Right, we're not...that's fine. Definitely fine!"

"Great really!"

"So great!"

There was another beat of silence and then the entire group broke out into laughter. The tension finally broken, Applejack wiped a tear from her eye and spoke.

"Well, now that that little misunderstanding is finally cleared up, there's only one last thing to take care of."

Cadence and Twilight looked at each other in confusion. "What?" they both asked.

Rainbow Dash nodded. "We finally found the solution to your problem."

"Our...problem?" Twilight asked.

"Your mission from the map."

"Oh? Oh! R-Right! That mission. So, uh, what did you find out?"

"Well, it turns out you two are the ponies who need to hook up."

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"WHAT?!"

"Okay."

Two voices answered simultaneously, one accompanied by an utterly scandalized expression, the other by a nonchalant shrug. There was a short beat before Cadence corrected herself.

"I mean, whaaaat? Noooooo. That...that would be...greedy."

"Yeah, Dash and I did a lot of thinking, and we're pretty sure this is the answer. I mean, we worked through every other pony in town, so unless you got the all clear yesterday."

"I didn't." Cadence answered with surprising haste.

"I...guess I didn't either." Twilight answered through grit teeth.

"Then it must be you two." Applejack concluded.

"Sounds like ironclad logic." Cadence nodded. "I guess it can't be helped."

Twilight turned to Cadence, shocked look still plastered across her face.

"B-B-But we can't!"

"I mean, it's not that unusual to be honest, is it?"

"Well, not exactly. I can think of five immediate examples from history where a ruler shared their bed in an alternating arrangement with—but that's not the point!"

"Then do you just not like me? You don't find me attractive? Is that it?"

"What? No! I-I like you just fine. And you're a very attractive mare. But I don't—I've never thought about you that way! At least not more than few times when I—AAAAHHH!" Twilight quickly clamped her hooves over her mouth.

"Tell you what. Why don't we head back to your lab and I'll show you some charts and a presentation that I think you'll find very convincing."

"W-Well if there's charts then I guess I could spare them a look. What about...speculative literature?"

"There might be a rough draft or two around."

"Good, then I can edit. Maybe punch it up a bit."

"That would be very helpful."

The two began flying off in the direction of the castle, leaving Applejack and Rainbow Dash behind.

"Well, that was an...interesting Hearts and Hooves Day, to say the least." Applejack commented.

"Sure was."

"Right. Well, I'm off. See you at breakfast."

Author's Note

I did not initially intend for that Twidence ship when I started this fic, but it just sort of happened.