Half-Life: Pastel Paradise

by I aint no damn brownie

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Human, Cheerilee, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Science Fiction, Comedy, Half Life, Profanity, Adventure, Violence, Crossover
Length: 93723

Equestria is in danger. It’s up to the crowbar-wielding physicist, Gordon Freeman, to save the day.

The Black Mesa Research Facility wasn’t the only thing affected by the Resonance Cascade. As it turns out, multiple planets were put in its blast zone. One of those planets being Equus.

It’s up to Dr. Gordon Freeman, the crowbar-wielding scientist, to save it.

And this time, he isn’t alone.

Featured 2/19/20

Published 2020-08-23 07:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-20 23:05:02 UTC

Assignment Chosen

“That’s why I’m here, Mr. Freeman. I have recommended your services to my employers, and they have authorized me to offer you a job. They agree with me that you have limitless potential. You’ve proved yourself a decisive man, so I don’t expect you’ll have any trouble deciding what to do. If you’re interested, just step into the portal and I will take that as a yes. Otherwise...well...I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning. Rather an anticlimax, after what you’ve just survived.” The mysterious man said.

I weighed my options. Work for this person I don’t know that clearly has some sort of magical power... or die.

I think.. I think I’m going to choose the former. Dying isn’t on my agenda.

I stepped over to the portal.

“Wisely done, Mr. Freeman. I will see you up ahead.” He said.

“Wait.” I said. I turned around towards him.

“What is my job?” I asked.

“I had a feeling you would.. ask. Well, Mr. Freeman, your job is simple. The resonance cascade did not only affect our world, you know.. Others were damaged. Some who didn’t have the means to defend themselves. I’m going to be sending you to one of these worlds, exactly two weeks.. before the disaster. That should give you.. give you enough time to prepare. You are to save this world and its inhabitants.. from certain death.” The man explained.

“Wait, what?” I asked. Why me? Why not somebody else? There was probably someone more fit to save this world, why choose me?

I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Why do you care about this world?” I asked.

“Well.. let’s just say that-their destruction is.. going against the grain. Unplanned.. if you will. I do not wish for anypony to-be caught in.. the crossfire.” He explained.

Wait, does that mean-

“Well, go along then, Mr. Freeman.” He said.

I felt compelled to walk inside the portal. The reason why, I didn’t know. As soon as I stepped inside, my vision went black.

My vision stayed black for a few seconds, until it went bright white. I blinked my eyes a few times. My vision cleared, and I saw the sky. The beautiful, blue sky.. it’s gorgeous. It’s.. been so long since I’ve last seen it. I felt like I was in that alien world for the longest time.

But I am also aware of my current predicament. I’m falling to the ground. I don’t know when I’m going to-

WHAM

That solves that mystery.

Pain rippled throughout my entire body as I lay in the grass, trying to catch my breath. My suit spoke up.

Minor fracture detected.

Gee, thanks.

I slowly tried to regulate my breathing. The wind had been knocked out of me. Always loved experiencing that.

I was gaining some breath back when something slammed hard into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me AGAIN. I really hope this doesn’t become a habit.

I looked at what the offending object/person was, but it was just my crowbar. It seems to have fallen out of the sky. How, and where it came from? That I don’t know. Most likely, the suited man gave it to me.

I grabbed the crowbar and held it tight. This thing has saved my life plenty of times before, what’s a couple more times?

Now.. the only question is.. did he give me my other weapons back?

I took a deep breath, and slowly sat up. I looked up.

Nothing.

“Are you okay?” I froze.

Who said that?

I turned around, and noticed a magenta-colored equine. It had a two-toned mane, the first tone being split in half by the second. The first tone was pink, while the second one was a lighter pink. Its eyes were large, and very green.

So.. that’s why he said anypony..

I thought it was a slip of the tongue.

“Hello?” It asked again. The voice was high. They were clearly a female.

But that wasn’t really the issue.

“Did you just speak?” I asked calmly.

“Uh... yeah, I did.” She nodded her head, clearly confused by my question.

Okay, cool. A talking equine. Sadly, not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. God, what happened to my life?

“So.. uh, to reiterate: are you okay, Sir?” She asked again, concern present in her tone.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Just fell.” I said, standing up. I put my crowbar on the hook on my back so I didn’t scare anybody.

“That’s good! So... what are you?”

It was inevitable.

“I’m a human. My name is Dr. Gordon Freeman, Ph.D. Nice to meet you, Ma’am.” I said, holding out my hand. She shook it.

...how did she grip my hand?

“My name is Cheerilee. Nice to meet you, Dr. Freeman.”

I raised my hand in protest, “Just Gordon is okay. Calling me Dr. Freeman makes me sound old.” We shared a chuckle at that.

“Hm, well.. I can’t say I’ve ever met a human before. I can’t say I’ve ever even HEARD of one before. But you learn something new every day, right?” Cheerilee said optimistically. Yeah, she’s right. Wait..

“Really? Do you not have humans here? Wait, dumb question. It’s just.. hm. We have ponies in my world, so I assumed.. huh. I don’t know how to say it.” I pondered for a second.

“I think I get what you mean. You thought that I at least knew what a human was, right? Because we coexist in your world?” She questioned, but then her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “Wait, are you from an another world??”

Coexist.. sure.

“I guess so, yeah.” I said in response to her second question.

“Wow..” she whispered. “Do you know how to get home?” She asked.

I do not. But.. I don’t think I want to go home until I deal with the resonance cascade issue over here.

“I don’t know how to get home.” I said, simply. I shouldn’t let her know about the resonance cascade yet. She would panic, and that’s not helpful.

“Hm... well, Princess Twilight might be able to help! She’s the Element of Magic, after all.”

The what?

“Come again? The Element of what-now? Princess?” I asked.

“Yeah, Princess Twilight Sparkle. She knows all there is to know about magic, so maybe she can send you home. Come on, let’s head to her castle.” Cheerilee explained. She started walking away, and I followed.

“Magic..?” I asked.

“Wait.. do you not have magic in your world!?” She asked incredulously.

“Not really, no. Parlor tricks and stuff, but that’s not really magic.” I explained.

“But.. but how do.. how are you alive?! How did you adapt?! How do you build things?!” She asked.

I cleared my throat, “Technology, my fair Maiden! Humans are pretty well-versed in the art of ‘Try crap until it works’, and well.. it worked! We’ve got some pretty impressive stuff, and it’s all because of our ingenuity.” I said all of that in a mock ‘Victorian’ accent.

Cheerilee whispered a quiet ‘Incredible..’ I chuckled. Her cheeks turned a brighter shade of magenta, a blush I presume. Weird how it shows through her fur though.

Wait. That’s really weird.

Her fur.. it’s longer. Almost like that of a cat, or a dog. She seems like she would be way softer than a normal horse. That’s so peculiar.

But I mean, her legs are coated all the way to her hooves with it. She doesn’t really have a separation between her hooves and legs, and said legs are pretty thick compared to the average horse’s legs. She was.. definitely an odd-looking equine.

No offense intended, of course. Wait, it’s not like she can hear this. Why did I say that?

Gordon, you’re rambling. Wait, no, I’m not. I’m in my head.

I’m going crazy.

“So, Princess Twilight’s castle isn’t too far from here. I was actually nearby when I saw you.” Cheerilee said, knocking me out of my stupor.

“Neat. Lemme guess, it’s that giant crystal thing?” I asked, pointing at the castle.

Cheerilee nodded. “Yep, that’s it.”

“Thought so.”

We continued our walk in relative silence. There wasn’t much to talk about, really. Actually, there was a ton to talk about; I just didn’t know how to initiate the conversation.

Plenty to talk about, so little time, I guess.

We arrived at the castle, and Cheerilee knocked on the door. I looked at her, eyebrow raised.

“Uh.. will that work?” I asked. This thing was huge, I doubt you could just knock on the door.

But, little by little, the sound of footsteps was increasing. Good lord.. it worked, didn’t it?

“Coming!” Someone yelled from inside.

It worked.

The footsteps stopped, and the door opened. A.. giant.. lizard, stood at the door. He was purple, with green spikes. We stood at eye level to each-other.

“A.. giant lizard?” I muttered. Oh, shit.

“Hey, I’m not a lizard! I’m a dragon!” He said. Oops, looks like I struck a nerve.

“Sorry, sorry! Didn’t know.” I said, raising my hands in defense.

“It’s no problem. Now- woah, wait! You’re a human! What are you doing here? I don’t think the mirror is open, or even allowed to be used.” The dragon said, putting a claw to his chin.

“What? You know what I am? And what’s this about a mirror?” I asked. What the hell did this guy just say?

“You.. don’t know..? Huh. Anyway, that’s off-topic, what can I do for you?” He asked, looking at me and Cheerilee.

“We need to see the Princess. He doesn’t know how to get home, and we’re hoping she can help out.” Cheerilee explained.

The dragon pulled out a clipboard, and looked at it.

“It’s two days until she’s open for visitors.” He said, putting the clipboard away.

“What? Seriously?” I asked, a little miffed.

“Yeah. Sorry dude.”

“No, look. We have to see the Princess. This is a lot more important than just ‘I wanna go home.’” I said, trying to push past. He quickly stopped me.

“Hey, back off! I can get you incarcerated for trespassing! I don’t want to do that, but you cannot pass this doorway without my explicit permission.” The dragon said, forcing me out with a claw.

I grabbed my head and tried to calm down. God, why was I so angry? I usually had a lot more patience.

I took a deep breath.

“I apologize. We will come back in two days. Please reserve some time for us.” I spoke calmly.

The dragon nodded. “‘Course! Come by at 2:30, two days from now. Have a good day...”

“Gordon Freeman.” I said, holding out my hand. I shouldn’t use the ‘Dr’ thing, it’ll just confuse people.

“Spike.” Spike said, grabbing my hand and shaking. “See you later, Gordon. Cheerilee.”

He closed the door.

I sighed. “God damn it.”

“Hey, it’s okay! We can talk to Twilight in two days. It’s not that long of a wait.” Cheerilee said, trying to comfort me.

“Yeah, well, I don’t have a place to go. Or money. I have the clothes on my back and a crowbar.” I muttered, swinging around said object. “Gonna be a long two days. Well, thanks for your help Cheerilee. I’ll be out of your hair. It was nice to meet you.” I smiled, and started to walk away.

Okay.. so what should I do now?

First order of business.. I should probably get a job, right? Seems like the most logical step to take.

But who would-

“Gordon, wait!”

I turned back around. Cheerilee?

“You.. you can live with me, if you want. I have an extra bedroom.. and Celestia knows I need the company.” She said, batting a hoof at the dirt.

“Cheerilee.. you don’t have to do that. I can go find somewhere-” I started to explain, but she cut me off.

“No.. I insist. You’re a nice stallion, and I want to help you out.” She said, avoiding my eyes.

I smiled. Christ, was everyone in this town kindness incarnate or what? Hell, I practically tried to break into Spike’s home and I left with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk.

“Well, alright. If you really want me to stick around.” I said, folding quickly.

She giggled. “Come on, my house is this way.” She lead me down the road, towards the town.

This is gonna be an interesting two weeks.

“I’m gonna get started on dinner. Feel free to go get your room set up. It’s the second door on the left, just down that hallway.” Cheerilee pointed a hoof in the direction of.. a hallway. Surprising.

“You want some help with dinner?” I asked. I could settle in later.

“Oh, thank you! Such a gentlecolt. But I’m not making anything super complicated tonight, so there shouldn’t be too much you need to help with.” Cheerilee said.

I looked around. Ah, that’s a good start.

I grabbed the trash can and pulled out the bag.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t get a chance to take that out last night. You don’t have to-“ I interrupted her.

“Nonsense, it’s fine. I got it.” I said.
I opened the door and closed it behind me. I walked outside, and into the.. sunlight? Shouldn’t the sun be setting? How odd.

But it’s nothing to dwell on, really. Different world, different rules.

The dumpster was at the end of this street.

Okay.. so..

What do I do?

The invasion is in two weeks. Obviously, I need to get as much cavalry as I can. These ponies have magic. That’s a big advantage.

But, I don’t have my guns. I have the crowbar, and while it IS incredibly useful, it’s a melee weapon. That requires me getting super close, which is not preferred.

So, I need to tell the Princess. I shouldn’t tell Cheerilee just yet, I don’t want her to panic. Panic never helped anybody.

But, would the Princess believe me?

‘Hey, I’m a random alien! Your world is in danger btw.’

Yeah, this is gonna be harder than I thought. How would I convince her? A lie-detector spell?

No, I don’t think that’s how those work. I don’t think you can use them for fact-checks. A lie is what you believe, so saying something like ‘Aliens exist’ won’t be a lie, because the person saying it doesn’t know.

But wait. I do know.

That might work, actually.

But do they have lie-detector spells?

I sure hope so.

I tossed the bag into the dumpster and walked back to the house. They all looked the same, but each mailbox was colored differently, so I knew which one her house was. Cheerilee’s was the shade of her coat.

I opened the door, and stepped inside. I replaced the bag in the trash and looked at what Cheerilee was doing.

“Dinner is ready!” She said, turning off the stove.

“Wow, that was fast.” I muttered.

“Well, I’ve had the soup in the pot for a while. I turned it on and then left the house. That’s when I stumbled upon you. Call me irresponsible, but it’s perfectly safe. I had it on a low temperature.” Cheerilee switched to a slightly defensive tone.

“That’s irresponsible.” I replied.

“Hush, you.” She chuckled.

She grabbed two bowls from the cupboard and set them down. She filled them both up.

She was about to grab the bowls with her mouth, but I stopped her. I grabbed the bowls and took them to the table. I don’t really want her mouth to, uh, touch my bowl. That’s a little gross.

“Thank you.” She said.

She grabbed two plates and put some sandwiches on them. She balanced them on her back, and walked to the table.

Impressive.

“Okay, simple dinner. Just some grilled cheese and tomato soup. Hopefully it’s to your liking.” She said, and slid me the sandwich.

I took a bite.

..

Wow... that’s.. AMAZING!

I haven’t eaten anything since.. I don’t actually know. But it’s been a while! And what a good meal to start with!

“Is it good?” She asked.

I swallowed, “Better than good. This is amazing! Thank you for cooking dinner.” I said, and I grabbed my spoon.

“Of course! Don’t want a guest to go hungry, after all- Gordon?” She asked.

I was looking at my soup. Is it soup?

I think it’s.. blood.

The blood of those military personnel. The blood of the scientists.

All innocent people. The marines were just doing their job. They had orders. The scientists were innocent too.

I didn’t kill a scientist. But I killed so many marines..

They all had families. Families to go back home to. What will they think when they hear ‘Daddy isn’t coming home.’?

What did I have? Nothing. I had a degree on my wall and some instant noodles in the pantry. I didn’t have a wife, or kids.

‘Gordon!’

I was alone. I had nobody.

But I took the life of those people. These poor people that just wanted to serve their country, forced into an early grave by-

Someone slapped me across the face.

“oOWW! What was that?” I asked, rubbing my cheek.

“Oh, thank goodness! Gordon, you were scaring me!” Cheerilee said, placing a hoof over her heart. “What was that all about?”

I killed hundreds of innocent people.

“Nothing.. just spaced out.” I said, putting the spoon in the bowl.

“Are you sure?”

I nodded.

I sat in bed, rubbing the goosebumps that littered my body. It felt weird to be without the suit. I felt so.. naked.. without it.

Knock, knock.

“Come in.” I said. The door opened, revealing Cheerilee. She walked up to my bedside.

“Gordon, about what happened at dinner. I know something’s wrong. I understand if you aren’t comfortable with sharing, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here. Remember that.” She spoke softly.

“..and I’m sorry for hitting you.”

I nodded. “Okay. And don’t worry about the slap, I understand why you did what you did.”

She smiled. “Good. Remember my words.”

She turned to leave.

“Wait.” I said. She stopped.

“Thank you. For everything. I’m just.. this random guy that came out of nowhere, and you.. you took me in. I didn’t have anywhere to go, I didn’t have anything period. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me.”

Cheerilee blushed, but I was none the wiser.

“Of course, Gordon. I was just doing what anypony would’ve done.”

“Well, you aren’t anypony. You’re Cheerilee. And that means a lot to me.”

Cheerilee smiled, and walked to the door.

“Goodnight, Gordon.” She said, and closed the door.

“Goodnight, Cheerilee.”

Sweet dreams.

Author's Note

Haha! A new story. I finally got the motivation to finish my outline for it. Did I mention that the outline is over 3,400 words? And before you say ‘That’s not impressive!’

My outlines look like this:

gordon arrives

Falling from sky

Hits ground

Yeah. It took me a while.

But hopefully, you all enjoy this story! I would hope so. I’ve got big plans for it.

Fun fact: Cheerilee was originally planned to be Derpy. But then I realized how stupid and unoriginal that was, so I used my favorite background(?) pony instead. Does she count as a background pony? I guess not. But who cares.

Leave feedback, as always!

Thanks for reading!

09/10/20: updated chapter. Now more polished, Gordon is now more in character.

Lazy Day

Dawn of the second day.

13 days remain.

I slowly opened my eyes to the sight of a bedroom. Now, this would be a normal occurrence.. had it been my bedroom.

But this was not my bedroom.

My first reaction was to panic (as a normal human would) but I slowed down, and I thought about it. Why am I in this bedroom. Who put me here?

Oh, wait. This is Cheerilee’s guest bedroom. I remember now. She let me live here.

How nice of her. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.

I reached over and grabbed my glasses off the bedside table. I cleaned them with the blanket and put them on my face, adjusting them as I see fit. Blinking to clear the sleep from my eyes, I removed the blanket and stood up. I stretched my limbs, letting out a deep breath as I heard the cracks.

I walked over to the pile of clothes on the floor and put on my pants and undershirt. I put the tie, dress shirt and lab coat in a drawer. I didn’t see the need to wear them.

I looked at the HEV suit, and shook my head. I didn’t need that.

I walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I walked to the bathroom, did my business, and brushed my teeth with the spare toothbrush Cheerilee gave me. If I were to guess, it was one of those free ones you got at the dentist’s office. Did anybody actually use those?

Doubt it.

I rinsed out my mouth and left the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen, and noticed a note taped to the fridge.

‘Went to work. Didn’t want to wake you. Breakfast is in the fridge. Have a good day, Gordon!’

Thank you, Cheerilee. But, come on. That’s embarrassing.

But I won’t kick a bleeding horse in the mouth.

No, wait.

I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

I opened the fridge and saw a plate of pancakes.

Wait, she made pancakes without me?! I’m the pancake flipping King! Well, Barney says that. Cheerilee, if only you weren’t so respectful of my sleep schedule..!

What time is it, anyway?

I looked at the nearby clock. It’s 11:43. Wow, I slept pretty late. The pancakes aren’t warm, so they’ve clearly been in the fridge a while. She probably goes to work early.

I shoved them in the microwave.

That’s strange. This world is so.. peculiar. They have microwaves, ovens, and air conditioning, but they don’t have automobiles. The microwave was invented after the car, wasn’t it?

Nothing in this world makes sense. By all known laws of aviation, pegasi should not be able to fly. Their wings are too small. And yet?

Flying is second-nature to them.

At this point, why do I even question these things? I’m just going to give myself a stroke. Even if I ask, it’ll only be explained with ‘Magic.’

The microwave beeped, signaling that my food was ready. I opened the door and pulled out the plate.

After dousing the flapjacks in syrup, I sat down at the table.

Okay, so what should I do today?

I could explore the town, if I wanted. But I didn’t really want to leave the house. Maybe tomorrow, after I meet with the Princess. For now, I should check out more of this house. If I’m going to be living here (hopefully not TOO long), I should learn where some things are. Yeah, that sounds good.

I finished my meal, put my plate in the sink, rinsed it, and dried my hands.

The house wasn’t too big. It was a two bedroom, two bath house. It was very.. homey.

When you enter the place, you have two options. Go into the living room on the right, or into the kitchen on the left. The kitchen is big enough to have a table near the wall, so that’s where we eat. The hallway was a straight-shot from the entrance, and the bathroom was the first door on the right. My bedroom/the guest bedroom was the second door on the left. The first door on the left was a linen closet. Cheerilee’s room was at the end of the hall.

I quickly shut the door upon opening that one. Didn’t want to intrude on her private business.

As I said before, the house wasn’t too big. It was just... cozy.

The rest of the day was spent lazing around. I was bored, but at the same time I was happy. Happy to have a day off.

But still bored.

And so, I found myself sitting at Cheerilee’s desk, writing on some spare parchment. Well.. writing was stretching it. I had written down all the important bits (my situation, what to do, how much time I had left, etc) but I was also just doodling.

Although, one thing I had noticed was the fact that every time I wrote down what was going to happen.. it disappeared. The words would just fade away. For example, I write down ‘Resonance cascade, most likely an alien invasion.’. Then, the next moment, the page is blank. It’s odd. Is this invisible ink or something?

I draw a smiley face.

It stays.

I’m ruling out invisible ink. This is so strange..

zipp, SCHWOP, SCREEEEE...

“Gordon, I’m home from work!” Cheerilee shouted. She walked inside, sliding a bag of groceries off her back. “How was it? Did you get lonely?” She asked, a smile gracing her lips. Which, in turn, made me smile.

“Cheerilee, I’m twenty-seven. I can handle being alone for a while.” I chuckled slightly.

“Oh, right..” She blushed slightly.

“So how was work?” I asked, picking up the bag of groceries. I walked over to the table and set them down, beginning to look through.

“Oh, same-old same-old. The foals were rowdy, but that’s normal. It is Friday, after all.” Cheerilee explained, joining me in the process of putting away groceries.

I shoved a bag of carrots in the vegetable drawer, “Foals?” I asked.

“Yes, foals. Did I not tell you? I’m a teacher over at the Ponyville schoolhouse.” Cheerilee explained, putting a jar of spices in a cabinet.

“Oh, interesting. No, you didn’t tell me.” I replied, putting a jug of orange juice in the fridge.

“Hm. Thought I did.. oh well. Anyway, what was your job, Gordon? Before you were sent here, that is. You mentioned you had a Ph.D?”

I nodded. “Yes. I have a Ph.D in theoretical physics, and I used that to get my job. I worked at the complex known as the Black Mesa Research Facility. We conducted all sorts of experiments, many of which directly broke the known laws of physics. It was like a dream come true. Until..”

..

The Resonance Cascade.

“Until what?”

.

“What the hell are these things?!”

Benrey just shot that.. thing! Oh, god.. I recognize that nametag. He just killed Patrick.

“Freeman, move now! I can only keep the portal open for so long!”

I jumped into the portal, landing on a platform above certain doom. I didn’t want to think about what lied in the abyss if I were to fall.

“Body? What body?”

I could barely keep my eyes open.

“I gotta get outta here.”

I pressed the button to call an elevator, and watched as the car plummeted to the floor below, the screams of scientists echoing in my ears.

“That wasn’t my fault!”

I came across another elevator door. It was jammed shut, I needed to break the glass. What could I use?

Ah, a crowbar!

Wait.. where’s the crowbar? It should be here, shouldn’t it? Where’s my crowbar?

“Where’s my crowbar?” I asked.

Cheerilee looked perplexed. “What?”

Where’s my crowbar?

Where is it?!

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CROWBAR?!

“WHERE’S MY CROWBAR?!” I yelled. I needed the fucking crowbar, where was it?! I’m going to fucking die! I need my crowbar!

Cheerilee squeaked in fright, pointing to my room. I ran to it. My vision was clouded, I couldn’t see anything. I needed my crowbar.

I threw open the door and dashed to the bed. I grabbed it off the bedside table and cradled it in my arms. Oh.. sweet, sweet crowbar.. I’ll never leave you ever again..

After coddling an inanimate object for some time, I realized what I just did.

I yelled at Cheerilee.

I YELLED.. At Cheerilee.

I quickly stood up and left the room. Cheerilee stood in the same place, unmoving.

“Cheerilee?” I asked. She jumped, and quickly turned around.

I looked down to the floor, finding my shoes very interesting. “I’m... I’m so sorry. I have no idea what came over me. I didn’t mean to yell at you. You’ve been nothing but nice to me since I got here, and you didn’t deserve that.” I said. Think, what can I do to make it up to her?

“It’s.. it’s okay, Gordon. Clearly it’s a sensitive topic. I’ll refrain from bringing it up again.” Cheerilee said, relaxing slightly.

“It’s not okay. Look.. how about I make dinner?”

“You don’t have to-“

“I insist. I want to make it up to you, and I won’t take no for an answer.” I said. That was final.

“I... alright, Gordon. If you really want to. I won’t stop you.” Cheerilee sighed.

This is good.

I walked over to the fridge to start preparing dinner, but Cheerilee stopped me.

“Gordon, it’s 2:40.”

Right.

“You know, I never really understood how somebody could ‘Suck at cooking.’ All you do is follow instructions.” I said as I pulled my masterpiece from the oven.

“Somepony, Gordon.”

“Somebody. Ponies aren’t the only intelligent species in this world, right? What about dragons? Do you say somedragon? Because if you just say someBODY, then it includes both ponies and dragons.” I said, putting a spatula next to the pan. I walked over to a cabinet and pulled two plates out.

“You.. make a really good point. Why do we say somepony? Seems awfully narcissistic.” She said, rubbing her chin with a hoof. That looks goofy.

I stuck the spatula in the casserole and cut out a square. I pulled it out and put it on her plate.

The casserole was mostly pasta and cheese, but there were some vegetables in there. I wish I could’ve put chicken in, but.. well, you can guess why I didn’t.

“Wow, this looks really good! Thank you, Gordon.” She said, leaning down and eating it.

She wasn’t going to use a-

She doesn’t have hands, right. Why does she have silverware in the first place, actually? If she doesn’t even use it?

No, don’t think about it, Gordon.. think happy thoughts. Think about kitty cats..

I put some on my own plate, sat down and grabbed my fork.

Taking a bite, I judged my meal.

..

Pretty good, all things considered. Again, all veggies and no meat makes Gordon a dull boy, but it was tasty.

“So.” I said, swallowing my food. “Tell me more about your teaching job. Like, what do you teach? What age groups, stuff like that?” I asked. Cheerilee grinned like a kid on Christmas.

“I teach all subjects, no need for multiple teachers y’know? I can handle them. Also, i don’t teach just one age group, I teach six years of age to eleven years. After that, they go to a separate schoolhouse for more advanced learning.” Cheerilee explained, taking another helping of casserole. Good, she likes it. I’m glad.

“Interesting. That’s not how we do it where I come from.” I said.

“How do you do it?”

“Well, there’s three big schools. Instead of them being only one classroom, there’s multiple classrooms, each with a separate teacher. The students are all separated by grade. Elementary schools are grades K through five, sometimes K through six. Junior high is either grades seven to eight, or six to eight. High school is nine to twelve. Grade K is.. five years old? And grade twelve is eighteen. During summer, you get a two month break, and during that time is when you transition to the next grade.”

Cheerilee nodded intently, seemingly getting all of it.

“That does seem much more efficient. But at the same time, that’s a lot of salaries to pay..” Cheerilee said, drinking a sip of water. Wait, how did she-? Fuck it.

“The United States of America is over one trillion dollars in debt.” I explained, taking a bite.

Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

“D-dollars?” She asked.

“Currency.” I replied.

She put a hoof to her head. “Who do you owe..? How do you get that much debt?!” She yelled; surprise, shock, and awe in her voice.

I shrugged my shoulders. “The Decepticons, I don’t know. All I know is that it isn’t really my problem anymore.”

Cheerilee swayed her head as if to say ‘Yeah, that’s true.’

“Yeah, that’s true.” She said.

Told you.

“Wait, who are the decepticons?” Cheerilee asked, raising an imaginary eyebrow.

Damn it.

Cheerilee laid in her bed, moving around slightly. She couldn’t sleep. Her mind was awake.

What is up with Gordon? He’s a human (that much is obvious, come on) but.. what’s up with his mind? His behavior?

That sounds wrong. Come on, Cheerilee. He isn’t mentally challenged.

But.. why does he act that way?

When he was looking at the bowl of soup, he blanked out for a while. It looked like he was about to cry, too.

And then, just today, he starts flipping out when she asks about his workplace. Black Canyon, was it? No! Black Mesa!

He froze, and stood in place. And then suddenly, he started yelling about a crowbar. And then like a minute later he comes back and apologizes!

What is going on?

What..

What the Tartarus happened at Black Mesa?

And why is it affecting Gordon so much?

Author's Note

And, here is where we start the “Boring as fuck to write” arc. Hopefully it’s not boring as fuck to read. but anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, leave feedback, and don’t be afraid to give me some constructive criticism! It’s the only way I can improve.

And also, Holy shit! 13 likes and 184 views. My other story took weeks and multiple updates to reach that many views, and it’s not even above 10 likes! That’s fucking crazy. Thanks so much to everyone who favorited the story, and everyone reading it in general. Love y’all.

Thanks for reading!

Goin’ Down the Fast Way

Dawn of the third day.

12 days remain.

I woke up to someone poking me.

“Gordon, time to wake up. We have to go see the Princess today.” Cheerilee said quietly.

Oh, yeah. That was today.

“What time is it?” I asked, rubbing my eyes. I grabbed my spectacles off the bedside table.

“Uhm... 12:30? I let you sleep in a little.” She said.

Christ, how am I sleeping for this long? I’m never this lazy. I must be pretty damn tired. Although, I can’t say I have a problem with it. Sleep is nice.

“Can you uh..?” I asked, hoping she would get the hint. I need to get up and put on clothes.

Her eyes widened in recognition.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry about that.” She said, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. She walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

I stood up, stretched, and walked to the pile of clothes. I need to buy some more of these, or at least wash them. The last time I did it was a day before.. you know, and I don’t know how long I was in there.

I put on the pants, the undershirt, and the belt. I walked to the dresser and opened a drawer. Pulling out my lab coat, tie, and dress shirt, I sniffed them.

WHEW. These definitely need to be washed. I can probably get away with masking the scent with cologne for now, but I will have to do something about this. This is.. vile.

I threw on the aforementioned clothing, and walked over to the mirror to straighten my tie. Looking professional would do me some good, I am going to see royalty after all.

Wait.

I’m going to see royalty. The Princess. Ruler of the land.

Well, my stress levels just reached max. Can I roll for charisma?

“Gordon, you ready? I made lunch!” I heard Cheerilee yell from the kitchen. Damn it, I wanted to make breakfast for us!

Well, it was too late for breakfast anyway. I’ll have to make dinner.

“Give me a second to brush my teeth!” I yelled back. I heard a faint ‘Okay’, and I walked to the bathroom.

I did my business, and started to brush my teeth. Did I mention that the mint was really strong in this toothpaste? Yesterday, I tasted mint for hours after brushing.

I used less toothpaste this time around, so hopefully it’s different.

I spit in the sink and rinsed my mouth. I grabbed Cheerilee’s hairbrush, and, using it as an impromptu comb; gave myself my Freeman Cut™.

Which was just a combover.

Hehe, I’m in a good mood today. One of those ‘Everything is funny, and if it isn’t, I will make it funny’ moods. This day couldn’t possibly go wrong.

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t say that.

I knocked on a nearby wooden figure twice.

After doing that, I grabbed a nearby bottle of perfume. It was vanilla scented. I opened the cap and sprayed some on my jacket. It makes me smell girly, but at least I won’t smell like sweat and blood.

I walked out of the bathroom, looking forward to whatever Cheerilee had made. It was bound to be good. She made pancakes (usually bland without any sort of add-on, as you know) taste good WITHOUT SYRUP. How did she do it?

A question, that of which has stumped the masses for generations.

After flicking a crumb of god-knows-what off my coat, I pulled out my chair and sat down. On my plate was a sandwich.

“It’s not much, but hopefully it’ll hold you over until we can get a real meal. I was hoping we could spend some time around town after we visit with the Princess. Maybe get something to eat? Just food for thought, we don’t have to-“ I cut her off before she could start rambling.

“I would love to.” I said. It’ll be a good opportunity to look around, maybe get on the good side with the locals.

I bit into the sandwich, and almost spat it out when I tasted something.. foul? Gross? It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t very good. I feel like I’ve tasted it somewhere before, though.

I pulled it out of my mouth to get a closer look. Oh, it’s a dandelion. That explains that.

I have, in fact, eaten a dandelion before. Barney dared me once while we were drunk a while back. It wasn’t an experience I really want to remember, in all honesty.

He still owes me a beer.

I removed the remaining dandelions from my sandwich. “Cheerilee, for future reference, humans can’t digest things like flowers. Thank you for the sandwich, though.” I said.

I didn’t know if that was true. I’m a physicist, not a bio.. whatever they’re called. The sandwich had tomatoes and lettuce, so I could just have that.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I had no idea! I won’t use them anymore.” Cheerilee apologized.

I put my hand up in protest, “It’s fine. Just avoid using them in the future. Oh, and one more thing: Do you guys eat hay?” I asked.

“Yes, we do.”

“Humans can’t digest hay either.” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich. Not bad.

“Geez, is there anything you guys can digest?” Cheerilee muttered, biting into her own sandwich.

I chuckled lightly at that.

Finishing up my sandwich, I brought my plate to the sink. I rinsed it, dried my hands, and looked at the wall clock. 1:03. Time flies when you’re eating, I suppose.

After lounging around the house for a while, it was finally a good time to leave.

“Cheerilee, you ready to get going? Ready to head out? Burn rubber, as the kids say?”

She smiled, and nodded. “Yep! Let’s get going, I’ve got everything I need.” She said, looking at her saddlebags. Don’t know why she felt the need to bring those, but women will be women, I guess.

Don’t take that out of context.

Cheerilee opened the door and walked outside. I followed after, and she closed and locked the door.

It was a nice day outside. The sun was shining, and it was neither hot nor cold. The perfect mix. Not a cloud in the sky, either. I stepped out into the sunlight and basked in its warmth.

Something about the sunlight here. It just felt.. natural. Cleaner. Like I could feel it revitalizing me.

I loved it.

“Wow, the Pegasi sure did a good job today.” Cheerilee said, walking up beside me.

“The Pegasi?” I asked. She nodded.

“They control the weather.” Cheerilee explained. Oh.. neat!

“Wow, that’s really interesting! They control the temperatures? When it rains? Can they control what the clouds look like?” I asked.

“Yes, Yes, and yes. Do they not do it where you come from?” She questioned.

“No, weather is natural over there. We have no control over it.”

Cheerilee nodded in understanding, “Like the Everfree? Gosh.. I can’t begin to fathom what life would be like without the Pegasi.”

“Yeah. We get city destroying hurricanes nearly every year.” I said, avoiding stepping on a banana peel. Seems that wherever I go, litter will always be a thing. It’s universal.

She froze. “How.. how is your species surviving?”

I stopped, “We’re a strong bunch.” I said, shrugging my shoulders. I continued walking.

She shook her head, jogging slightly to catch up to me. “Whatever.” She whispered.

“What the book is that..?” I heard someone ask in a notable British accent. I looked in the direction of the voice and saw a tiny looking kid. He was white with brown spots.

“Pipsqueak! Watch your language!” Cheerilee scolded. Did she know this kid? And what kind of name is ‘Pipsqueak’?

“Ah! Ms. Cheerilee! Uh.. sorry..” The kid- Pipsqueak- looked down at the floor in embarrassment. Is saying ‘Buck’ as bad as ‘Fuck’?

“I’m not the one to apologize to. This is Gordon, a friend of mine. He’s a human.” Cheerilee explained, pointing at me with a hoof.

“Sorry, Gordon, Sir.” He said, hanging his head.

“Ah, don’t worry about it, Pip. It’s not like humans are a naturally occurring thing here.” I said, and lightly smiled to let him know I didn’t harbor any hard feelings. He looked up at me and smiled too.

“Good, I’m glad I dinnit offend yew. Have a good day, Gordon.” He said.

“You too. And I hope the readers weren’t offended by the written British accent..” I said. Wow, this kid sure knows his manners. I’m impressed.

“Run along, now, Pip. I know you aren’t a little foal anymore, but that type of language is a bad habit. Anyway.. It was nice to see you.” Cheerilee said, patting him on the head. He nodded and galloped away.

“I didn’t know you guys had British people here.” I said.

Well, I kind of expected it, but I didn’t at the same time. You know?

“Britain? You mean Trottingham? Because that’s where Pip is from.” Cheerilee explained.

I tried to hold it in.

I really did.

“It’s not that funny!” Cheerilee said, groaning. I was on the floor laughing.

Trottingham!

TROTTINGHAM!

Another burst of laughter. Trottingham! Like Nottingham! But trot! Like a horse!

Cheerilee sighed, “I mean.. I guess it is pretty funny.” She lightly giggled. “Alright, come on. You got your fill. Let’s go.” She said, lending me a hoof. I used it to stand up.

I wiped a tear from my eye, “Heh.. I haven’t laughed that much in a while.” I muttered.

“Well, I’m glad you got your dose of laughter from a poor colt’s hometown.” She judged.

“Oh, now I feel bad.” I said, frowning.

“Eh, don’t be. Basically every town is a pun here. Heck, we live in EQUESTRIA.” Cheerilee said, shaking her head. “But anyway, let’s hurry to the castle. We’ve got a little bit of time, but I’d rather be more safe than sorry!”

I nodded. That made sense. After all, it’s better to be early than to be late. Last time I was late to something.. it didn’t turn out too well. But I shouldn’t think about that. Today is a good day. We can get some progress on thinking of a way to stop the invasion, or we can stop it all together. But if we can’t stop it, we can at least build up an army to take it on. That’s a situation I don’t want to encounter, but you have to be prepared for every outcome. Nothing is definite, after all.

“Speaking of Equestria.. what’s your currency here?” I asked. Cheerilee looked at me.

“Hm? Oh. We use gold coins.. called..” She trailed off, going into her saddlebag. She pulled out a coin purse and opened it up.

She pulled out a thick gold coin and handed it to me. “Bits!”

I rolled it around in my fingers. “Is this real gold?” I asked, feeling it in my hands. Felt too dense.

“No. It’s synthetic. They used to be made with real gold, but gold became more and more rare, so they had to cut back on it.” She explained. I nodded my head.

I started to hand it back to her, but she put up a hoof. “Hold on to it. I don’t really want to go through all that trouble again.”

I nodded, and put the coin in my pocket. I wonder what I can buy with it. Probably not much.

“Thank you.” I said.

“You’re welcome.”

I looked around town as we walked. The trees and houses were slowly becoming few and far between as we continued on a dirt path. The castle was a dead-set forward shot from our current location, so it’s not like we had to navigate. I rolled around the bit in my pocket nervously, thinking about all the ways it could go wrong.

What if she doesn’t believe me?

Well, she can just use a lie detector spell. Hopefully.

I froze, remembering another detail. A (maybe) crucial aspect.

The disappearing text.

What did it mean. What COULD it mean?

I pray to god it doesn’t mean anything and that someone was just playing a prank on the human.

“Okay, it’s 2:15. We can wait out here for a bit. There’s a bench over there.” Cheerilee said, putting away her watch and pointing at a bench.

The bench was wooden, with some details painted on. They were those little loop things that people usually drew to accent things. I didn’t know what they were called.

One was pink, one was blue, one was purple, one was yellow, one was orange, and one was white. And.. I’m confident enough in my masculinity to admit that it was pretty.

I exhaled deeply as I sat down in the bench, glad to be off my feet. I leaned my head back, put my hands on the back of my head and closed my eyes. I sighed.

Today was a good day.

“Ughhh... Spike, who do we have next?” Twilight asked her Number 1 Assistant. She was tired. And annoyed.

Plenty of nobles had come in, either asking for her hoof in marriage or asking for more bits. But those stallions could be categorized in the same area, considering nobody actually wanted to marry her. They just wanted the status.

“Uh.. Gordon Freeman.” Spike said, looking at this list. The human!

“Okay. When are they coming?”

Spike looked at his list again. “2:30.”

Twilight looked at her clock. It was 2:28.

“Do they know they can come in?” Twilight asked.

“I.. don’t think so.”

Spike walked out of the room, and headed towards the main entrance.

Spike opened up the door, looking outside for a human. He saw him with Cheerilee on the Mythical Friendship Power Bench. Patent pending.

“Hey, Gordon!”

“Hey, Gordon!”

I opened my eyes at the voice, and looked towards the castle. Spike stood at the door, waving us over. I tapped Cheerilee’s withers and stood up.

I walked over to the castle, and Spike raised his claw for a fistbump. I delivered.

“What up, my man? How you doing? Twilight’s ready to see you.” Spike said, opening the door wide for us. I nodded at him.

“I’m doing okay. What about you?” I asked.

“Eh, you know. Same-old same-old, gotta keep up the grind and all that.” Spike said, scratching his arm.

“If I don’t know the feeling..” I muttered. We shared a chuckle.

Spike opened a set of double doors, and I basked in the glory of the Princess. Well, that was greatly exaggerated. She just looked like the other ponies, but a little more lanky. And.. she has both wings AND a horn. Neat. Her eyes widened upon seeing me.

“Uh. Hello, your highness.” I said, lightly bowing. Cheerilee did the same.

“Uhm.. how are you here? What’s a human doing in Equestria..? Why didn’t he change into his pony self? Does he even HAVE a pony self?” She started muttering to herself.

“Hey, Twilight. Snap out of it.” Spike said, snapping his fingers. She was surprised for a brief moment.

“Oh, yes! Uh.. nice to meet you, Sir. Gordon Free-mane, was it?” Twilight asked, waving a hoof.

“Freeman.” I corrected. “And it’s nice to meet you too, Princess.”

I gripped the bit tightly in my pocket. Here goes nothing..

“Princess, I’m going to cut to the chase here. Your world is in danger.” I said. Her eyes widened significantly and her pupils dilated. She gained a scowl.

“What?” She asked. “What are you planning on doing to my ponies?” Her tone had edge to it. Shit!

She thinks I’m going to do something!

“No, no Princess-!”

She hit her hooves together, making a loud ‘Clop! noise. Two guards rushed me. Before I could pull out my crowbar, they had tackled me to the floor and started dragging me away.

“No, Princess! I’m not the one who’s causing harm!” I yelled out. Her eyes widened again. “I can explain everything!”

She tilted her head upward, and the guards stopped their movement. She looked at me expectantly, as if to say ‘I’m waiting.’

“Okay, look. In less than two weeks, everything’s gonna go to shit. There’s this ali-“

My voice cut out. I cleared my throat, and began again.

“In two weeks, an al-“

My voice cut out again.

“A-“

Nothing.

What... what the hell? Why can’t I say anything?! What’s the deal?!

“Well? What are you going-“ Twilight began, but her voice got deeper. Time... was slowing down..

Time continued to get slower and slower, until it eventually stopped moving altogether.

I looked around. Nobody was moving. The Guards remained stoic, Cheerilee looked surprised, Spike also; and Twilight still looked a little miffed.

A man with a briefcase walked out from behind a pillar, and straightened his tie.

“Hello, Mr. Freeman.” He said in that creepy, unnerving voice.

“What.. what is this?!” I yelled.

“This.. is subspace. Or at least.. a subspace pocket.” He explained.

“Okay, shit-for-brains, that doesn’t explain WHAT subspace is! And are you the cause of my voice cutting out?!” I yelled. What the fuck did this guy do?

“Now, now.. Mr. Freeman. Calm yourself. No need to get.. angry. Yes, I am the reason your-voice.. is, going quiet. I can’t have you telling them.. anything about the impending.. invasion.” He explained, straightening his tie again.

“W..why?” I asked.

“Well.. let me put it this way. Imagine.. at home, it’s movie night. You have the choice between a-story about a hero with the.. odds, stacked against him.. getting help, and with the power of friendship, defeating the big bad once and for all... Or a story about a lone.. wolf hero, all odds stacked against them, somehow overcoming said odds.. Which one is more interesting to.. you?”

What.. what the fuck did he say? “The.. lone wolf hero.. but what does that have to do with me?”

“Well.. my employers.. and plenty of others-share your.. views.” He explained.

“Wait.. are you saying..?”

“Afraid I am.. Mr. Freeman.”

I’m..

I’m just.. entertainment to these people?

My life..

is JUST A MOVIE TO THEM?!

MY NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES...

ENTERTAINMENT!?

I rushed at the suited man, crowbar raised. He raised a hand and I stopped in place.

“Now, now. I’m on your.. side, you know. I just do-what my employers.. say. It’s rather unfortunate.. what happened to you. You may be a form of.. entertainment, but I assure you.. it’s all very real. I wouldn’t recommend. Giving up.”

Of course not. I wouldn’t give up. Even though I’m just some sick man’s chess piece, these ponies are all very real. If I just sat back and let them die.. I don’t think I could live with myself.

“I’m not doing this for you.” I muttered.

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

I shook my head. “I’m gonna save this planet. With your help, your setbacks, whatever! I don’t need it. I’m gonna kick alien ass. But this time?”

I pointed at him. “I don’t care what you say. That.. this is a ‘Lone-wolf story.’ No! Fuck that! I’m saving this world. But you know what?” I took a deep breath, and I stared him down.

“I refuse to do it alone.”

The suited man smiled. “Wise.. choice, Mr. Freeman. I’ll be rooting for-you.”

Whatever.

Time slowly kicked back into gear, and Twilight looked at me.

“So.. what? What’s going to happen to my world?” She demanded to know.

“I can’t say.” I said. I accepted it.

If that suited man didn’t want me to say anything, so be it.

I don’t care, I don’t need her help. I can get help somewhere else. Spike seems to like me, maybe he can help me out. And I bet there are some ponies out there who-

She closed her eyes and nodded her head.

The Guards started to drag me away again, but I was able to get the last laugh.

“I’m gonna save your world, Princess. And you’re gonna be sorry. You’re gonna be REAL FUCKIN’ SORRY!” I yelled. One guard yanked on my collar.

The Guards continued dragging me, until eventually throwing me outside. Cheerilee came out soon after.

“You okay, Gordon? I hope they didn’t rough you up too badly.” She said, lending me a hoof to stand up with. I gladly accepted.

Get ready, you alien bastards.

Freeman’s back.

Oh, god damn it! I forgot to ask about the lie detector spell!

“I don’t get it, Twilight. Why didn’t you believe him? You can’t at least take some precautions?” Spike asked Twilight. She rubbed her eyes, sighed, and looked at Spike.

“No, Spike. Look.. imagine it from my perspective. A human comes into your castle, which shouldn’t be possible by the way; the mirror changes your appearance. But that’s not important. He tells you that your people are in danger. But then.. he can’t tell you why? It seems awfully suspicious.” Twilight explained.

“Well, maybe he’s under some sort of spell?” Spike suggested.

Twilight shook her head, “Those types of spells were outlawed DECADES ago. The only people that know any spell like that are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and I don’t think they would use it on some poor human. With silencing spells now, it’s either every word is silenced, or none at all.” Twilight explained. Spike sighed in defeat.

He wanted to help Gordon.

But how would he go about doing that?

“So, this is Ponyville!”

I opened my mouth, but she shut me up.

“No, no comments. It’s a fine name.”

I pursed my lips.

“Anyhow, this is where we live. Over there is the market, and near it are the actual stores. Back that way is the housing.” She said, pointing at each. Huh.. neat. They have both retail stores, AND a farmer’s market.

“Now, let’s go check out the market! I wonder if they have any paprika. Last time I went, they were all out.”

“Wasn’t that only yesterday?” I asked. She nodded.

“Supply and demand works wonders here. I don’t doubt they have more.” She explained, and started walking away. I followed after.

I looked around, noticing all the weird looks I was getting. Frankly, it was making me kind of self-conscious. Some had looks of curiosity, some of contempt, some of anger, and one mare looked excited. Don’t know what her deal is.

I looked at the watch on my wrist before groaning. What happened to my watch?

Oh, wait. It’s in my locker.

At Black Mesa.

Awesome.

“What time is it?” I asked. Cheerilee pulled out a pocket watch.

“3:00.” She said, putting it back in her saddlebag.

Ah. “Cool.”

She nodded.

..

I drummed the air with my fingers, and clicked my tongue.

..

“So... what do you want to do?” I asked.

“I.. don’t know. I didn’t think this far ahead.” She admitted. “I guess lunch. But what after that?”

Well, we’ll find something to do.

“Hey, Cheerilee, I’ve been meaning to ask..” I said, after finally taking notice of one specific detail.

“What’s that?”

“What’s up with flank tattoos? Are they the new ‘Hip’ thing? ” I muttered. God, I’m getting old.

“Huh? Flank- oh, you mean cutie marks! Cutie marks are special marks that represent a pony’s special talent. You get them at some point growing up, it varies. Usually they mean what your career is going to be.” Cheerilee explained.

Wow, that sounds terrible. No free will? You have to do your life by way of a small mark?

“That sounds terrible.” I muttered.

“Some ponies get unlucky. Like, I don’t even know what mine means, in all honesty. I’m a teacher, and my cutie mark is 3 flowers.” Cheerilee said, looking at her own mark.

“Well, I think it means... you’re sweet. Flowers are pretty and nice, correct? Well, you love to care for your foals. And don’t flowers require some form of care to remain un-wilted? I’m grasping straws here.” I whispered that last part.

Cheerilee took on a noticeable blush. She smiled slightly. “You know, I never thought of it that way. I always thought it had something to do with gardening, so imagine my surprise when I suck at gardening.” She chuckled. “Thanks, Gordon. It makes me happy to hear you say that about me, you charmer you.”

I smiled. “‘Course.”

We walked in silence once more, until Cheerilee spoke up.

“Can we stop here? I have to use the little filly’s room.” She said, pointing to a store. I nodded.

“Go ahead.”

She smiled, and walked inside. I stood around, waiting. The stalls around me were selling various forms of produce. The stall closest to me was being run by a guy, so that’s a good conversation starter I guess.

“So, what’s your name?” I asked the stallion.

“Tailchaser.” He said. Wait a minute..

“What’s your cutie mark?” I asked, using my newfound knowledge of the things. He looked surprised, but turned to show it to me.

It’s a cat.

This guy’s special talent.. IS GETTING SOME.

I smirked and held up my fist for a fistbump. He smirked back knowingly, and bumped it.

This guy’s awesome.

“So what’s your name? And what are you? And why are you at my stand?” He asked.

“My name is Gordon Freeman. I’m a human. And I’m waiting for a friend.” I answered each question as rapid-fire as he gave them.

He nodded in understanding. “Okay. Well, if you’re interested in buying something, I won’t stop you.” He chuckled. I smiled in response, but I don’t actually know if he said that as a joke.

“Gordon, let’s go!” Cheerilee said, walking out of the shop. That was fast. I nodded, said goodbye to Tailchaser, and caught up to Cheerilee.

“So, what now?” I asked.

“Lunch! There’s this neat cafe down the road, I think you’ll like it.”

I was about to speak up, but Cheerilee was faster.

“They have things other than flowers and hay.” She jokingly said.

“I wasn’t gonna-!“

“You so were!” She countered.

“You tell lies!” I countered her counter.

We both looked at each other.

And then we both started giggling.

After a good session was had, we were both off edge. “Ah.. you’re a funny guy, Gordon.” She said, trying to control her laughter.

“Thanks..” I muttered, and then remembered why exactly we had left the house. And now I’m on edge again.

Fuck.. what am I going to do? I’ve got a god damn crowbar. Last time, I had a whole collection of weapons at my disposal!

I can get help, right..

But can I? Can I really?

Can I honestly get somebody on my side?

I’m really betting on Spike here. He seems like the kinda guy that would help save the world.

But maybe I’m misinterpreting. After all-

“Gordon, you alright there?” Cheerilee asked, concern present in her tone. “We’re at the café.”

“Hm? Yeah, fine. Just.. spaced out.” I replied. I looked up at the building.

‘Canterlot Café’

I snorted. Cheerilee punched me lightly.

We both sat down at a table, and looked at our menus. Hrm.. I found myself at the ‘Griffon’ section of the menu, eyeing an item called the ‘Chicken salad sandwich.’

They had.. MEAT!

My mouth watered slightly. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten some good poultry.

But.. would Cheerilee be okay with it? She’s a herbivore, isn’t she? What if she gets so disgusted she never wants to see me again?

“Hey, Cheerilee?” I asked. She looked up from her menu.

“Yes?”

“Uh.. would you be comfortable with.. me eating, uh.”

Come on Gordon! Spit it out!

“Would you.. mind, if I order.. uh, meat?” I choked out.

Her eyes widened. “You.. uh, you eat meat?” She asked, looking around nervously.

“Yes, I do. Humans are omnivores.” I explained. Please don’t be mad.

She looked nervous, “Do you.. uh...”

I immediately caught on. “Oh, god no! It’s taboo even on earth to eat ponies.” I explained, shaking my head violently. She quickly calmed down, sighing in relief.

“Thank goodness. Okay, now. On to concerning thing number two. Gordon, are..” She lowered her voice, “Gordon, are we really in danger?”

Oh, right. She was at the castle.

Okay, how do I go about this? Being blunt won’t work out too well. Actually? It might. Like a bandage. Just rip it off!

“It’s true. Equestria is in danger. I can’t say why or how, but I want you to know.. I’m gonna deal with it. Okay? I’m gonna fix it.”

“Are you-“ She started, but I interrupted her.

“Cheerilee, do you trust me?” I asked, grabbing her forelegs. I held them up to emphasize my point.

She blushed, but nodded slowly, sighing.

“Yes, Gordon. I trust you.”

I closed my eyes and nodded, letting go of her.

It’s gonna be okay.

It’s all gonna be okay.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed the longer chapter! And in case you were wondering, the title of this chapter doesn’t mean anything. It was the song I was listening to at the time. ROTT music goes HARD.

But anyway, rant time: The worst part about trying to write a good fic is having to write the boring shit. The ‘Character’ and ‘Relationship’ building. It’s boring as hell. Because that stuff requires dialogue! But I don’t want my story to be only dialogue, of course not! But then there’s the chance that the dialogue is.. boring! A simple fix is making it realistic boring. But then, you HAVE TO THINK OF WAYS TO MAKE IT REALISTIC.

I hate it. I just want to be done with this arc.

But don’t worry, I won’t rush it. If there’s one thing I am when it comes to writing fics, it ain’t lazy.

And I know one of you might say “THiS cHaPtEr DrAgGeD On FOr ToO LoNG” Yeah, bet it was painful to read huh? I wrote it buddy. I don’t have an editor or proofreader. I read this baby 3 times at least. The slow pacing is intentional. I have to give Cheerilee a reason to be friends with Gordon, because if they’re just ‘Roommates’ for two weeks, then Cheerilee having any sort of care and empathy for Gordon wouldn’t make any sense.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave feedback, as always! Constructive criticism is always welcome! And please, PLEASE tell me of any mistakes! Writing this chapter confused me at some points and I might have missed something.

Thanks for reading!

The Working-Class Individual

Dusk of the third day.

12 days remain.

The same day as the previous chapter.

I flipped the quesadilla in the pan without using the spatula. I watched as it flew up, and then back down; spinning three times in the air.

“Wow, impressive!” Cheerilee said from right next to me. She grabbed some plates from the cabinet and set the table, humming a tune as she did so.

“Thank you.” I said, pushing the quesadilla onto a separate plate. “My pancake flipping skills translate well to quesadillas, I suppose.”

“I guess so.” Cheerilee agreed, giggling. That put a smile on my face.

I like it when she laughs. It’s cute, and I have no qualms in admitting that.

I was about to set the pitcher of water on the table when I heard a knock. And then another. Someone was at the door.

I quickly put it down and walked to the door, opening it. It was Spike. What does he need?

“Hello, Spike.” I said, scratching an ear. “What can I do for you?”

He sighed, almost as if he was steeling his nerves. “Okay, look. Twilight may not be on your side.. but I am. I wanna help. I don’t know what’s happening, but I believe you when you say there’s danger. I don’t know what the tartarus is wrong with Twilight, considering she dealt with evil so many Celestia-damn times! Ugh. Look, I’m here to help.” He explained, rambling a bit.

I raised an eyebrow. He was here to help? He believed me? Well, that was easy. I won’t have to go to him now. Looks like things are finally comin' up Freeman..

“You’re on my side? Oh.. this is wonderful! We have a chance..” I muttered. He nodded.

“Yeah, I’m on your side. So.. what do we do about it?” He asked, putting a claw to his chin.

I clicked my tongue, “I don’t actually know. I don’t know how to prevent it, but when it happens I have this.” I said, pulling out my crowbar. I didn’t let it leave my side anymore, not after what I had dubbed 'The crowbar incident.'

“A crowbar..?” Spike asked, looking at it. He looked up at me. “Is it some sort of.. super weapon?”

“Nope. Just a crowbar.” I sighed. “But it’s pretty useful for caving heads in.”

Spike looked a little green. “Didn’t need that thought. Thanks, Gordon.”

“Don’t mention it!”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Alright. I know a little dragon magic and I can breathe fire. I can study some more about dragon magic, and I can learn how to use my fire better I guess.” Spike said, counting on his fingers.

“That’s useful..” I said, nodding my head.

“Yeah. Okay, here’s the plan. I’m gonna write to Princess Celestia. Hopefully she can help.”

“There’s another Princess?” I asked. He nodded.

“There’s four.” Spike explained.

I grabbed my head in my hand, groaning. “What the hell is the point of that..?” I asked. Didn’t you need just ONE?

“I don’t know, that’s just how it is. Okay, enjoy your dinner or whatever, I’ll write to the Princess. Have a good day man.” He said, walking away with a wave.

“See you later.” I said, closing the door. I turned around and walked to the table, pulling out my chair and sitting down.

Wait.. we have letter writing supplies here? Why didn’t he..? Whatever. He probably has some sort of magic letter system.

Let’s hope the Princess replies.

I put my head in my hands. “This is gonna be a nightmare.. but hopefully it’ll be better with Spike helping out.” I muttered.

“It’ll be okay, Gordon.” Cheerilee said. I looked up at her. “I believe in you.”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks, Cheerilee.”

“No problem. Now, let’s eat dinner before it gets cold!” She said, grabbing a quesadilla from the plate in the middle of the table.

I nodded, grabbing one for myself.

Dawn of the 4th day.

11 days remain.

I stepped outside of the house, and threw the door closed behind me. I heard it slam shut, and I started to walk away.

Okay.. let’s do this. Let’s get a job. It’s time to stop being a freeloader. I talked with Princess Twilight, so I have no reason to procrastinate anymore. Now.. where should I get a job? I don’t think they have anything related to Theoretical Physics here, this place looks like it’s still in the Middle Ages. Yet.. they have microwaves and ovens..

Theoretical Physicist is not off the table completely, but I shouldn’t get my hopes up. Though.. it’s not like my credentials would work. “MIT Graduate” doesn’t really look too good on my resumé in a world that doesn’t even have MIT.

I continued walking through town, ignoring the stares I was getting. Despite the fact that they saw me yesterday, I guess it still didn’t register in their minds that I was real.

The weirdest reaction by far was done by a pink pony. She gasped, flew about 5 feet into the air, and disappeared from sight; presumably dashing off in a different direction at incredible speeds, that of which are usually unreachable on foot. It was rather amazing, and left many of my questions unanswered.

But.. I should ignore it. I’ll probably have an aneurysm trying to decipher what just happened.

I continued my trek through town, looking for the elusive “Help wanted” sign. So far, none had caught my attention. Not until I came across a quaint little shop that had the sign out front.

“Help Wanted.”

Just what I was looking for.

I looked up at the store entrance and saw the sign. Instead of a name, I saw a picture of a quill and a couch. Guess I’m calling this store ‘Quills and Couches’. Or at least until I get the actual name.

I opened the door and stepped inside. Off to the left side of the store were the quills, while the couches were on the right.

“Welcome to Quills and Sofas! What can I... uh, what are you?” A tan stallion with a combed brown mane came out from behind a curtain.

He was sporting what looked like a blue vest. A uniform, if I were to say. He stared at me with both awe and fear.

Wait, I still haven’t said anything. “Oh! Uh, I’m a human. Name’s Dr. Gordon Freeman, but you can just call me Gordon. I’m here because I saw the help wanted sign outside..” I trailed off, hoping he would ‘catch my drift’ so to speak.

His eyes widened. “Oh, uh.. yes, I am hiring! Are you interested? And it’s nice to meet you! I’m Davenport.” He said, putting out a hoof.

I raised an eyebrow, but shook his hoof anyway.

“Stupid question, of course you’re interested.” He admitted. “Okay, come to the back with me and we can conduct the interview.” He said, waving a hoof towards the curtain. I followed him in.

He sat down at a desk, and I sat down in the chair opposite of him. He pulled out a piece of paper and a quill.

“Name?” He asked.

“Gordon Freeman.”

“How do you spell that?” He asked. Really?

“G-O-R-D-O-N F-R-E-E-M-A-N.” I replied.

“Thanks. Age?” He asked, scribbling in some more info.

“Twenty-seven.”

“Any prior work experience?” He asked, writing in some more.

“I worked at a Kroger for a couple years until I was able to get a job as a scientist at the Black Mesa Research Facility in New Mexico.” I cringed at the memories, but steeled my resolve.

I can’t fail this interview.

“Okay.. don’t know what either of those are, but they sound too interesting to be made up. Okay, any allergies?” He asked.

“I’m allergic to shellfish.” I said. He nodded, writing it down.

“Any other health issues?”

“Most likely some form of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder, but that’s undiagnosed.” I said. He nodded.

“Any criminal record?”

“None.”

“Names of your immediate family?”

“They’re all dead. Cheerilee is the closest thing I have to a good friend.” That wasn’t true, not in the slightest. We actually celebrated my dad’s 61st birthday 2 months ago.

But why would he need to know the names of people that don’t even exist in this world?

“What is your address?” He asked.

“At the moment, I live at 12 Heartfelt Drive.” I said. Everything in this world is really girly, and it’s kind of off-putting to be honest.

“Okay.. where do you see yourself in five years?” He asked.

“Doin’ your mom.” I thought to myself.

I chuckled inwardly at that. Despite how funny that would be and how I pretty much stole it from Family Guy, I don’t think saying that would earn me any favors.

“Probably dead in an alleyway.” I blurted out.

That wasn’t much better!

His eyes widened, before he started to chuckle. “I like your style.” He said.

He nodded, writing it in. “Well, I’d say that’s it. Welcome to the team, Gordon!” He said, putting out a hoof.

Wait, what? I’m hired? Really?

Isn’t there like, a wait period or something? It took Black Mesa two years to get back to me!

I shook his hoof.

Water under the bridge, I guess.

He stood up and walked to the other side of the desk, opening the curtain and beckoning me to follow. I stood up and did just that.

“Welcome to.. Quills and Sofas! We sell.. quills and sofas.” He said sheepishly.

“Why those two things?” I asked. He looked at his cutie mark, and then back at me. “Oh.”

“Yeah. So, you mentioned prior experience..? I take it this ‘Kroger’ was some kind of shop?” He said. I nodded.

“Yep. It’s a grocery store. I stocked shelves for a while, but once I was 21 I was promoted to cashier. I quit 4 years later, and was accepted to Black Mesa.”

Bad decision making on my part.

“Okay, I think I get it. So you do have experience?” He asked one more time. Dude, come on.

“Yes, I have experience.” I said, groaning inwardly. C’mon man, I said that like eight times.

He smiled. “Great! Oh, look! There’s a customer! Make a sale! I’ll be watching..” He said, and walked back to the curtain.

The customer walked in. It was a pink pony with a cranberry mane.

“Welcome to Quills and Sofas! How may I help you?” I asked, walking slowly over to them. I gave them a small smile.

They looked up at me in fright, but calmed down when they saw that I didn’t intend to harm them.

“Uh.. h-hi. I’m looking for a new sofa?” They said, looking around the store. The voice was feminine; this was a girl.

“Of course. Anything catch your eye?” I asked. Come on, Gordon. Make the plays.

“Uhm, not really.. what do you recommend?”

Shit! Act natural!

“Well, I’ve sat on every sofa in this store at least once. I’d say one of the most comfy ones here..”

I looked around for a good sofa. I spotted one near the window that had a weird-looking back cushion, but it looked good enough.

“Is this one.” I said, pointing at it. “If you look past the weird head-frame, you can truly the feel the care that was put into its production. The cotton is soft and warm, perfect for a night of blankets and hot chocolate. Or, if you’re the type, a nice glass of wine on a Saturday. It’s a lovely chair. If I could afford it, I would bring it home with me.”

“What do you mean, afford it? How expensive is it..?” She asked, slowly getting more worried.

Smooth moves, smart guy!

“Oh, no. You misunderstand. All I have to my name is one bit. That’s why I have this job.” I admitted. Her eyes widened slightly, but she nodded.

“That’s unfortunate.” She said.

“Semantics.”

That’s not the correct use of that word.

“So, try it out! See if it fits your quota for ‘Good couches’. Vs. ‘Shit couches.’” I said, pointing at it with an open hand. She giggled slightly, nodded, and hopped on.

“Wow.. this is really comfy! You got yourself a deal, Mister!” She said, standing up quickly.

...okay, that was easier than I thought. My smile faltered, but I quickly forced it to come back.

“Lovely! Come over here and we’ll exchange credits for goods and services.” I joked. I don’t think she got that.

The price tag of the sofa was 30 bits. I have no idea how much that actually costs. She paid and left the store, promising a return with a wagon to carry the furniture.

Davenport stepped out from behind his curtain. “Gordon, I don’t know how you did it. You’re a natural!”

“Eh, well.. I kinda just went with my gut.” I admitted, scratching my head.

“Well, I’m glad you did! Look.. I’ll let you off early today. You start an actual work day in two days at 7:00 AM, sharp. You don’t start tomorrow because of the mandatory ‘Weekly day off’ bull. I decided to have it on Monday because, well, nopony likes a Monday. Anyway, be there or be square, heh. I’ll see you on Tuesday Gordon.” He said. I nodded.

“Thanks, Bossman. Have a good day.” I said, waving to him as I left the shop.

“Please, just call me Davenport!” He yelled after me. Alright.

I walked home slowly, cherishing the warm sun’s rays. It was a great day today. Have I already said that? Even if I did, it doesn’t really matter. Today WAS a great day.

I opened the door to Cheerilee’s house and walked inside, closing the door behind me. I saw her reading a book on the couch. She looked at me when I walked in.

“Ah, Gordon! How did it go?” She said, taking off her glasses.

“I got a job. I’m no longer a freeloader. I am now.. a Free Man.”

She giggled at the pun. “Congratulations!” She said, walking over to me and giving me a hug. I hugged back.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Damn it, what now?

I let go of Cheerilee and walked to the door. I opened it, and was prepared to be snarky, but I saw that it was Spike. I bit my tongue.

“Huff.. Gordon.. read this.. huff..” He was breathing heavily, and holding a letter. Did he run from the castle all the way here? That’s quite the distance..

I grabbed the letter from his hands and unfolded it.

Dear Sir Spike..

I regret to inform you that the Princesses are unable to fulfill your requests. They are currently on a diplomatic journey to the Griffon kingdom until 2 weeks from now.

I apologize for any trouble this may cause you.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia’s Advisor, Jeeves.

Jeeves? How cliché.

No, wait, that’s not important.

PRINCESS CELESTIA IS IN THE GRIFFON KINGDOM FOR 2 MORE WEEKS?!

SHE WON’T BE BACK HERE IN TIME!

I clenched my fists in anger. Fuck my ass! ‘Odds stacked against me?’ Yeah, FUCKING RIGHT.

“We’re fucked. Plain and simple.” I muttered. Spike nodded.

“Yeah.. yeah we are. Sigh. Look, I’ll go ask some friends for help. Rainbow Dash will definitely help, she’s the Element of Loyalty after all.. I don’t know about anypony else though. We’ll see.”

I looked at Spike, and put my hand on his shoulder. I looked directly into his eyes.

“Thank you. So much, man. You’ve done a great job so far.” I said.

He blushed slightly and nodded. “This is my home. I’m not just gonna sit back and wait for everything to go to shit when I can do something about it. I’m not gonna be a Humdrum again.” He said, positively dripping with resolve and determination.

“Humdrum?” I asked cluelessly. He sighed, and waved his hands.

“Not important. I’m- no. We’re gonna save the world.. and I’m not taking failure. No matter what.” He said.

I smirked.

It’s gonna be a good day today.

I can feel it.

Author's Note

The title for this chapter is a reference to my first story on this website, which is now deleted. Only the OG’s remember it. It was dogshit.

Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! I’m much more comfortable writing to 2500 words for each chapter, I do NOT want to burn myself out.

I actually had fun with this chapter. It wasn’t bad. I enjoyed writing it, so hopefully you guys enjoyed reading it!

And do not worry. After the next chapter, the chapters aren’t going to be going on a day-by-day basis anymore. There’s gonna be some time skips because holy shit, the arc has already stretched on long enough. I don’t want to bore you guys.

Make sure to leave feedback! Constructive criticism is always welcome! If you just wanna tell me my story is ass? Go ahead! I don’t really care, it’s not my comment section to dictate. Freedom of speech and all that. Tell me of any mistakes, I’m not perfect! Far from it.

No more Instagram plug. Enjoy that.

On a side-note: I started playing Cry of Fear. Holy shit, what an awesome game. I definitely recommend you check it out if you haven’t already.

Love y’all!

Thanks for reading!

Gordon's World! Party Time! Excellent!

Dawn of the fifth day.

10 days remain.

Monday.

I yawned as I sat up in bed. I scratched my back and lifted my hands above my head, letting out an exhale as I heard the cracks. I reached over to my bedside table, grabbing my glasses and wiping them off on the blanket. I put them on my face and adjusted them as I saw fit.

Woah, déjà vu-

I rolled out of bed and crashed to the floor.

“What the hell?!” I yelled out in surprise. What the fuck was that? Did someone push me out of bed?

I stood up and fixed my glasses. Looking around, I noticed-!

Nothing. Nobody was in the room. Did I seriouslyfall off my bed? Wow. I sure feel stupid.

“Gordon, are you alright?! I heard yelling!” Cheerilee yelled, running into the room holding a frying pan. Her mane was disheveled, as if she just woke up.

“I’m fine, Cheerilee. Thanks, but I just fell out of bed. Hey, wait.. shouldn’t you be at work?” I asked. What time was it?

“Hmm? Oh, no. Today is Labor Day, school is off. Which means that I’m off.” Cheerilee explained, twirling a hair in her hoof. I nodded.

Ah, yes. Labor Day. I always looked forward to Labor Day as a kid. Despite my curre- old position as a theoretical physicist, you would assume I liked school. Not the case. Nobody likes school, so why would I?

I mean, I liked physics class. But that’s obvious.

“Anyway.. Gordon, we need to head over to Sugarcube Corner.” Cheerilee said, scratching her ear with a hoof. It twitched. Aww..

Wait, back on-topic. “Why?”

“Uhm.. reasons. Look, just trust me, okay? It’s a surprise.” She said. I opened my mouth, but slowly closed it.

“Okay. I trust you.”

A surprise! I’m excited.

She grinned. “Yes! Okay, let’s get going- Wait. Don’t you have work today?” Cheerilee asked.

I shook my head, “Nope. It’s my day off for some peculiar reason. But... I’m not complaining.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Okay. Well, get ready.. and put pants on.” She said, closing her eyes with a smile.

I looked down at my underwear-clad body.

Oh.

I sniffed my jacket as we walked through Ponyville. Mmm.. flowers. Cheerilee apparently had a washing machine. A fucking washing machine.

What the hell is the technology in this world? What are the barriers?! They don’t have telephones. But they have video games! I saw some kid playing a GameBoy earlier!

I groaned and held my head in my hand. Don’t think about it, Gordon. Just count your blessings. At least you won’t rub your fingers raw from using one of those old washer rack things.

And at least I didn’t have to use a clothesline..

I sighed. But by doing so, I took in a deep breath. Which means I smelled the air, and all that was around me.

Ohhhh... hell yeah. The air.. so crisp! The sunlight.. so warm! The scent.. so nature-y! And the company?

I smiled at Cheerilee. She looked over at me, and smiled back.

Lovely. As always.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and closed my eyes. I opened them after a couple seconds, and damn-near walked into a door.

“We’re here!” Cheerilee exclaimed, taking off her sunglasses.

“Yeah, I could see that.” I muttered.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t know you weren’t paying attention.” She said, sheepishly rubbing the back of her head.

“No worries. Anyway, why are we here again?”

Cheerilee avoided my gaze. “It’s uh, a surprise.”

“Oh, really? Okay..” I said, opening the door.

Huh?

It was pitch black in here. Not a pony in sight, hell; not anything in sight. I was about to go look for a light switch when suddenly, they all turned on. A pony jumped out at me.

“Surprise-!” She yelled.

In my shock, fright, and surprise, I didn’t realize what I had done until it was too late. I held my crowbar in my hands, a pink pony lying on the ground. Blood slowly started running down her coat.

I dropped my crowbar in fright. Oh no.. what did I do? What did I do?!

WHAT DID I JUST DO?!?!

I started to hyperventilate. Everyone was staring at me in shock, some backing away in fear. Did I just kill somebody? I just killed somebody! Some poor, innocent pony! They all hate me, don’t they?! They’re all afraid!

I have to get out of here.

I turned around and ran away as fast as I could. Everything around me was a blur. My ears were ringing, my eyes were wet with tears, and I wasn’t paying attention.

I didn’t even hear the faint ‘Gordon! Wait!’

I kept running. I ran into a nearby forest. I tripped and stumbled multiple times, but I would get up and keep going.

I can’t stop running. If I do, they’ll take me away. They’ll execute me for committing such an.. atrocity. There won’t be any second chances for me.

I ran until I couldn’t run anymore.

I stood in a clearing, breathing heavily. My legs hurt, my eyes were irritated, sticks and bugs poked out of my hair, I was dehydrated, and I could hardly breathe. Not a very good situation here.

But it’s better than being back there.

I shuddered at the thought. I killed somebody! Someone innocent!

I’ve killed before. Of course. But that... that was different. That was self-defense. In that situation, it was them or me.

But.. now? That pony?

She just wanted to surprise me with a party. What for, I didn’t know.

She just wanted to make me happy.

I felt more tears threaten to leak from my eyes. No, no. You’ve cried enough, Freeman. Get a grip.

She’s probably not dead. It was blunt force, she’ll be okay.

But.. how good is the healthcare here? Could she really survive that?

I’m not weak. Not by a long shot. That crowbar.. it’s taken lives before.

This was a pony. Someone not used to much hardship. Someone with soft skin, and most likely fragile bones. She was bleeding from the head. I most likely shattered her skull.

I felt my breakfast come back up. Nope.. no. No.

Hurp!

No.

EGGGHHAAHHHHAAHHEEUHHhuhhhhhh!!

I fell to my knees, grasping the dirt as I vomited profusely.

I killed an innocent pony. Someone who had their whole life ahead of them.

What would Cheerilee think? What is she thinking? Would she ever want to see me again?

Probably fuckin’ not.

I continued puking my guts out, muttering ‘I’m sorry.’ Over and over again. It felt like it lasted forever, but eventually it calmed down.

I clutched my stomach as the vomit finally subsided. I was still gagging, but there was nothing else to upchuck. I had emptied my stomach completely. I fell onto my ass, and started looking around me. I didn’t know where I was. I knew it was that forest, but where in the forest? Would..

Would I be able to get out of here okay?

I chuckled. Do I even want to leave? Do I want to go back to them? Just.. march to my death? My exile? My imprisonment? Whatever they decide to do?

No. I don’t.

But.. would hiding out here really be the good thing to do? Cheerilee said the forest was really dangerous, and..

I didn’t have my crowbar.

I.. I must have left it at the party.

...Damn it.

Damn it!

Damn it all!

“DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. What did it matter? Not like anybody was around to hear.

“There he is!” I heard somebody yell.

Well, shit.

I quickly stood up and began to take off, but collapsed almost instantly from fatigue. I could hardly move. I needed water.

And maybe a heated blanket.

“Nice try, but you aren’t going to get away from us. Little did you know that the fastest flyer in Equestria was right on your tail!” A scratchy-sounding voice taunted. Wow, this guy’s an asshole.

But I mean.. did I really have room to talk?

“Anyway, you’re coming with me big guy. Everypony’s worried about you.” The pony continued.

“W-why?” I muttered.

“Huh?”

“Why? Why?! Why are they worried about me!?” I yelled, turning to look at them. Oh. She’s a mare.

Her mane and tail were rainbow-colored, while her coat was cyan. Her eyes were a beautiful shade of magenta.

“Why.. why don’t they care about your friend? I k-killed her!” I yelled, shaking my fist at her.

The tears threatened to fall. No, not again.

“Pinkie Pie? Oh, she’s fine. She got a big lump on her head, but she just pushed it back inside and bam, good as new.” The rainbow-maned pegasus explained, looking at her hoof as if she were a girl looking at her fingernails.

I stared at her incredulously. “You’re kidding. Either you’re FUCKING with me, or I’ve gone insane.” I said.

“Nope. Just Pinkie being Pinkie. She forgives you, by the way. Apparently Cheerilee told her you might not handle the surprise well, but I guess she didn’t listen. Anyway, let’s get going.” The pegasus said, grabbing my shirt with her teeth. She lifted me onto her back, although not without struggle.

“Phew! Okay, let’s go. The name’s Rainbow Dash, by the way. What’s yours?” She said, flaring her wings.

“Gordon Freem-AAAAANNNNNN!!!” I yelled as she suddenly took off. She was going so fast!

Wait, Rainbow Dash? Isn’t that the person Spike was talking about? Something about her being loyal, I recall.

I lost my thought as she flew faster and I almost slipped off. I grabbed her neck with all my might.

“W-woah, lighten up on the neck! Sorry man!” She said, slowing down.

I let go of my tight grip, “Uh, sorry.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about that, it was my fault. Anyway, you said your name was Gordon Free.. something.”

“Freeman.” I said, holding my hand in front of her. She shook it. “Nice to meet you.” I finished.

She nodded, “Nice to meet you too. Uh.. sorry it turned out this way. Your party, I mean.”

I winced, and tried to suppress the memories. “No worries. It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, well...” She went quiet.

She started her descent towards Sugarcube Corner. She landed on the ground, and nudged me. I hopped off her back.

“Thanks f-for bringing me back here, Rainbow.” I said. Jesus Christ..

“‘Course! The best flyer in Equestria puts her skills to good use. With great power, comes great responsibility, as they say.” Rainbow Dash smiled brightly. Ah, yes.

Spider-Man exists here?

Neat.

Rainbow Dash lowered her eyelids. “Now that we’re back.. Listen up, Freeman.” She growled out. Oh shit.

“I’m not happy about what you did to my friend. You could have killed her. Had it not been Pinkie, you would have blood on your hooves. Claws. Whatever! Anyway.. I’m not happy about it. Nopony hurts my friends and gets away with it.” Rainbow Dash said, getting into a stance.

I backed up slowly, but she jumped at me incredibly fast. She tackled me to the floor and punched me in the face.. REALLY hard. I heard a sickening ‘crack’ as my nose started to bleed. She broke my nose!

But I’m not going to fight back. I deserved this.

She slowly stood up, dusting herself off. “There. I’d say we’re even. Now come on! We’ve got a party to enjoy.” She said, lending me her hoof. “And let’s get you some ice for that nose, yeah?”

“You broke my nose, Rainbow. Ice won’t help too much.”

“...ice does a lot more than numb the pain.”

I smiled lightly at that.

I took the ice away from my nose and flexed the muscles in it. No more blood came out, and it didn’t hurt anymore.

So.. Ice healed it.

You know what? I’m not surprised. At all. ‘Magic’ and all that bullshit. I hate that. I prefer things be explained with science, logic, reasoning. Not just MAGIC!

Eugh. I’m getting angry again. Calm down, Gordon, it’s not a big deal. You’re at a party. Enjoy yourself! Stop being so stiff. Talk to somebody.

“Well, good afternoon! What’s yer name? Ah don’t.. actually know.” A pony said to my right. Oh, thanks, Jesus H. Christ. Thanks for handing me things on a silver platter.

“Dr. Gordon Freeman, Ph.D.” I said, extending a hand. “But you can just call me Gordon.”

They had an orange coat and blonde mane. The mane was tied with a band of some sort, which made it more bunched up. Her voice had been high, so my guess was that she was a female. She wore a brown Stetson, and she had green eyes and some noticeable freckles.

So.. ponies can have freckles. Neat.

She grasped my hand with a hoof and shook it roughly. “Ah’m Applejack! Nice ta meet ya, Gordon. Welcome to Ponyville!” She let go of the shake.

I flexed my arm to make sure it still functioned. Talk about strength!

“Charmed.” I said.

“So! How are ya liking yer party? Is it ta yer likin’?” She asked. I nodded.

“Well, the food’s good. Despite the fact that you’re so far the only person to approach me.. it’s a pretty good party.” I said, swirling my drink.

“What? Well, that won’t do! Ah’ll go round up mah friends and we can talk to ya s’more. ‘Sat sound good?” She asked. I pursed my lips.

I could use the extra company, couldn’t I? Wallowing in my own misery can’t be healthy.

“Sure, go ahead. I’ll be here.” I said. She nodded, and turned around. “Hey!” I called out to her.

She looked back at me.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, Sugarcube.” She said, and turned back around.

Now.. I guess I just wait here.

...

I grabbed a cupcake off the table and took a bite.

....wow. Holy shit.

This is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten.

I waved the tears out of my eyes with a hand. No, Gordon. Man up. It’s a pastry.

I took another bite.

Screw manning up.

“So, Fluttershy, do ya want to see him or not?” Applejack asked the shy pegasus.

She nodded her head, hiding behind her mane. “Oh.. yes, I do. I just.. don’t know how to approach...”

“Just talk to him, Sugarcube. He’s nice, Ah promise.” Applejack said, placing a hand over her heart. “Now.. go see him. Ah’m gonna round up the rest of the girls.”

Applejack walked off, leaving Fluttershy alone. She gulped, and took a step forward.

‘Talk to him like any other pony. He’s safe. Talk to him like any other pony. He’s safe.’

“Oh, I can’t do it!” She whispered, jumping under a nearby pony. They looked at her quizzically and moved away.

She panicked and jumped under a nearby table. Nopony could find her under here! It was foolproof! She wouldn’t have to talk to-

The tablecloth was lifted up. “You okay down there?”

A male voice. Fluttershy didn’t dare look up. She knew who it was.

“Hey.. why are you under there?” I asked.

Fluttershy calmed her breathing. She could do this. She could talk to somepony new without freaking out. She could do this. He was nice.

She looked up from the floor and caught his gaze. She started to hyperventilate again, but forced herself to calm down.

“H-h-hello.. I’m Fluttershy.”

That name fit. She sure was shy.

She was a butter-yellow pegasus with a long, pink mane. Her eyes were a pretty shade of blue.

Damn. That’s weird. Everyone’s eyes are all.. pretty. I even looked at a stallion’s eyes and thought they were nice. In all honesty, I’m kinda jealous.

If I were to rank the eyes I’ve seen, it’d probably look something like this:

Rainbow Dash.

Cheerilee

Princess Twilight

Something like that.

Wait.. I’m staring. And I haven’t responded to her introduction yet.

“Ah! Hello, my name is Dr. Gordon Freeman, Ph.D. But just Gordon is fine.” I said, extending a hand. Hopefully she’s not as strong as Applejack.

She grasped my hand with a hoof and gave it a dainty shake. Guess I had nothing to worry about there.

“Now.. come on. Let’s get you out from under the table.” I said, extending my hand once more. She grabbed it and I pulled her up and out.

She dusted herself off and smiled at me. I grinned.

“Ah see you’ve met Fluttershy! Good.” I heard from behind me. I turned around and spotted Applejack with some more ponies.

The pink one.. Pinkie Pie, I think her name was.

A white one with a purple mane stood beside her, along with Rainbow Dash.

“Uh, hello. Nice to meet all of you.”

I put out my hand for a shake.

“So then I said, ‘That’s not a camel, that’s my wife!’” I said, chuckling at the joke for more comedic effect.

They all looked at me like I had three heads.

“What’s wrong with a camel being your wife?” Rarity asked.

“Uh, well.. that joke works better back home.” I said, coughing into my hand.

“How so?”

“Uh.. well.. back home..”

I didn’t want to say it. How would they react to knowing that the entirety of the equine sub-species is just a bunch of animals?

“Say it, Gordy! Whatever it is, we won’t think of you differently for it.” Pinkie Pie said, as if she could read my mind.

Speaking of Pinkie Pie, I had apologized to her many times throughout the night. Every time she kept saying it was fine.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t fine. I almost killed her.

I felt nauseous at the thought. I quickly drank some water to calm my nerves.

Okay, fuck it. Here goes nothing.

“Camels don’t talk where I come from. Hell, they CAN’T talk. They can’t form any cognitive thought, either. We use them to travel in deserts because they can go long distances without water. Hell, HORSES can’t talk where I come from, either. Ponies, zebras, none of them. Humans are the only intelligent creatures in my world.” I admitted, taking a deep breath at the end. They all stared at me. Mostly in surprise.

“Interesting.. are you really the only intelligent creatures? M-Must’ve been quite the culture shock, huh?” Fluttershy said, giggling.

“Yeah.. it sure was. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

“Of course not. I don’t see why we would be. Worlds are different, it happens. I’m just glad you didn’t treat us like animals when you came here.” Rainbow Dash said, stuffing an entire cupcake in her mouth.

Yep. Humans. The only intelligent species on earth.

Or.. at least..

We used to be be the only intelligent species.

But.. I don’t think those head-crabs can be counted as intelligent!

Heh.. heh.

I took a sip of water. I don’t feel too good.

Author's Note

Phew! Got it out on time. Sorry I was a little late on this, my birthday was yesterday and I didn’t want to write. Forgive me.

After this, the chapters aren’t going in day-by-day numeric order anymore. There’s gonna be time skips so I can get the god damn plot moving. This felt like a bunch of filler, right? Yeah. That’s how it felt to me too. But please understand that I really didn’t want to rush anything. I did that with my last story, I’m not doing it again.

And I hope you guys caught the fact that the chapter title is a Wayne’s World reference. That movie’s awesome, if you haven’t seen it I DEFINITELY recommend it.

Edit: Fixed title. Quote was incorrect.

Hope you enjoyed! Make sure to leave feedback! Constructive, normal, and destructive criticism are all welcome! I am an advocate for free speech after all, heh.

Have a good rest of your day, and..

Thanks for reading!

Thoughts and Feelings

Dusk of the seventh day.

7.25 days remaining.

Wednesday.

I bit down on a slice of pizza, enjoying the salty and savory flavor that washed over my tastebuds. Mmm.. it’s been so long since I’ve had pizza. And not to mention, it tastes DAMN good when it’s made by talking horses.

I wonder if they have Italians in Equestria. They probably do, but what punny name replacement do they have? Whatever it is, it’s probably hilarious.

I guess I’ll never know.

No.. wait. I can know. I have a teacher sitting across from me.

“Hey, Cheerilee? What ethnic group made this pizza?” I asked, taking another bite.

“Um... the Saltalians.” She said.

Damn. The Saltalians? That’s really weak. They could do better.

I mean, I get it. Salt. Italians. Horses go crazy for salt. Haha.

That laugh was sarcastic.

“That’s lame.” I thought to myself.

“Yeah, you’re right. Definitely not their best work.” Cheerilee said, grabbing another slice of pizza.

Did I say that out loud?

“Yes.”

Shit. “Sorry.”

“Bah, no need. You’re forgiven. I agreed with you, didn’t I?” She said, chuckling.

Yeah. She’s got me there.

Speaking of Italians, pizza, and weird naming schemes.. what the hell is up with Equestria? Why is everything a PUN? Why does everyone and everything have such girly names? Why is everyone so nice? Why is it a monarchy?

No, wait. Apparently there are like.. eight Princesses, so isn’t that called a Diarchy? I think so, I don’t know for sure. I hope I’m using the correct terminology.

“Cheerilee, can you tell me a little bit about Equestria?” I asked.

The million dollar question.

She gained a grin on her face and let out a small squeal. “You wanna learn about Equestria? Oh, I love teaching history! Okay, so it all started hundreds of years ago.. there were 3 main tribes. The earth ponies, the pegasi, and the unicorns. They hated each other, but each had their own reasons...”

It was 4 hours later when Cheerilee stopped talking.

Now, I had no problem with that. I could listen to Cheerilee talk about Equestria for hours.

But I had to use the bathroom.

You see my problem now? I didn’t want to interrupt her, she looks like she’s in the zone.

She ‘tsk’ed. “So.. that’s about it! There’s plenty more to talk about, but I’d say those are the most important aspects.” She finished.

Oh thank God.

“Be right back.” I said, and rushed off. I did my business and came back.

Her next question gave me whiplash.

“So, Gordon, what about you? What’s the history of.. uh, Earth, was it?” She asked.

Shit.

Earth is a planet built on war, pestilence, greed, death, and MORE DEATH.

Definitely not something I want to expose to a happy-go-lucky, bright, pastel horse.

“...well? Gordon?”

I snapped my eyes open. “Hm? Oh. Look.. Cheerilee, I don’t really..”

“Gordon. I promise, whatever your planet’s history is, I won’t judge you for it. It’s not like we had a perfect history, either..” She said, putting a hoof on my hand.

I sighed.

“Promise?”

She nodded. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She said, doing all the motions.

...what?

“What did you just do?” I asked.

“A Pinkie Promise.” She stated with absolute confidence, like it was common knowledge.

I let out an exasperated sigh,

And started telling history.

We were halfway through the era of Genghis Khan when she excused herself to the bathroom and started to throw up. I figured that was a good time to stop talking.

I stood up and went to the bathroom, holding back her hair as she threw up into the toilet bowl.

“So... maybe we should talk about something else.” I said, doing a nervous laugh. She looked up at me.

“Maybe, Gordon. I wonder what gave you that idea.” She giggled, and quickly lost her smile as she threw up again.

She stopped and took a deep breath. “Why are your people so VIOLENT?!” She yelled, and then gagged. She’s not angry, I know that. She’s just questioning existence.

As you do.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Human nature.”

“I don’t think I want to ever go to your planet.” She said, and then dry-heaved. “No offense.”

“None taken.” I said, scratching her ear. She hummed in pleasure.

She slowly stood up, with me helping her. She walked to the sink and washed her mouth out. She dried her mouth and left the bathroom.

I followed.

“So.. speaking of the past. I know I’m gonna regret this.. really badly. But it’s important. Gordon?” She said, looking over at me.

I nodded for her to continue.

“What happened to you? Personally. I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up again.. but I need to know. When you got lost in thought and then you yelled for a crowbar. When you hit Pinkie in the head for surprising you. What’s causing this? I came to the conclusion that it might be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.. but I want to know what causes it. What’s troubling you, Gordon?”

She looked at me expectantly.

...

I knew it would happen eventually.

But... do I really want to explain it?

Do I really want to.. think about it?

Therapists.. normal people.. always say that the first step to recovery is speaking with someone about it.

Guess it’s time to start the process of recovery. I can’t ignore my problems forever.

I walked to the living room and sat down on the couch, motioning for her to do the same. She caught on and sat down.

“So.. it all started with me being late for work. I worked at Black Mesa, which you know. Apparently, I was set to enter the test chamber and work with a sample of.. something. It looked like a crystal. I didn’t actually know what it was.” I admitted, chuckling slightly.

“See, we had been trying to perfect teleportation for a while. Only, there was one issue. We noticed that instead of going from one place to the next, there was a.. border world. We called it Xen. It isn’t like your world or mine, you see. Weird thing is, it seemed like there was no real ‘Main land.’ It was all floating islands. On these floating islands..”

I paused, collecting my bearings. Come on Freeman, man up.

“These islands housed.. creatures. There were these.. things that looked like crabs that would try to jump on your head at all costs. They would... they would.. take over your body. Turn YOU into a mindless monster. There were these other things that looked like dogs.. but they could release sonic waves. Their faces didn’t have any features, just.. eyeballs. They would make these annoying fucking noises! And it was terrible. There were these things that walked on two legs, but they weren’t bipeds. They had these gross tentacles on their faces and they shot.. mucus at you. There were these flying things that shot faces, there were these giant armored guys, and there were these tall guys with green armor on. They could fire lightning, but they always tried to stray away from conflict, for some reason..”

Cheerilee nodded along, already not looking too good.

“So.. the experiment went wrong. I don’t know why. I passed out, and when I woke up.. they were everywhere. Those bastard crabs, the lightning fuckers, those GOD DAMN EYE DOGS! Everywhere. I.. I found a crowbar. That was my only weapon for a while. Until..”

I wiped my eyes. “One of my buddies. He died. He was a security guard named Benrey. Heh, he was always a strange guy.. talked about passports a lot and always joked around with the newbies. I loved him. He..”

Cheerilee nodded solemnly, seemingly understanding. “You don’t have to-“

I held up a hand. “No. I have to talk about this.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“He.. he was killed. One of those zombies snuck up behind him and cut his throat. I grabbed his gun. I had no other choice. It was a standard issue Black Mesa Security Force Beretta.. a reliable weapon. I found some more weapons along the way, too. A shotgun, an mp5, a crossbow, a revolver. But nothing ever compared to Ol’ Reliable.” I chuckled, and pulled out my crowbar. I flipped it in my hand.

“But.. the aliens were okay. I could deal with them. I had enough ammo, and they could easily be outsmarted. But that’s not the main problem I had to deal with.”

“What was?” Cheerilee asked, voice shaky. She clearly wasn’t taking this too well.

“The United States Marine Corps.” I said, closing my eyes tightly and clenching my face muscles. I gripped my crowbar tightly.

Calm down, Gordon. Nut up or shut up.

“Who.. who are the United States Marine Corps?” She asked.

I looked at Cheerilee and softened my face. “They.. defend the country. They’re like the guards.”

“And.. why were they a problem?” She asked.

“They.. they were sent in to.. silence the personnel.” I choked out.

She gasped. “But.. but aren’t they supposed to protect you? You didn’t do anything! You said it yourself, the experiment went wrong!”

“Yes! I know! They.. they thought I did it. They assumed I sabotaged the experiment. And.. I had to kill a bunch of them! I killed people, Cheerilee! Multiple people! It was all in self-defense, but I don’t feel like I did the right thing! What makes my life more important, huh?! I’m a 27-year-old scientist! I had no girlfriend, no kids, hardly any friends, no money.. what did I have!? I had a cat! Mr. Mumbles isn’t worth a human life! They.. they probably all had families..” My voice cracked as tears started to pour out of my eyes. “They all probably had families. Girlfriends, Mothers, Fathers, Wives, maybe even kids. And I took that away from them.. Because I’m so damn selfish-“

Cheerilee wrapped her arms around me tightly. “Stop that. Right now. You’re not selfish, Gordon.. they were trying to hurt you. You did what you had to do.”

“I.. I just.. Cheerilee, I don’t want this. I’m just a fucking scientist, I don’t want this. I don’t want to have to fight for my life all the time. I don’t want to be the hero. I’m an MIT graduate with a Ph.D in theoretical physics, not an action hero. I want.. I want to go home. I don’t want every minute of my life to be spent looking around corners, wondering when I’ll die. When someone will finally get the drop on me.”

I trembled slightly as I cried. I want it to be over. I don’t..

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I’m so tired..

So done... with everything.

I closed my eyes, and before I knew it..

I was asleep.

Cheerilee looked over at Gordon, waiting for him to continue.

“Oh.. he’s asleep.” She said to herself. That must’ve taken a whole lot out of him..

Cheerilee tried to pick Gordon up, but to no avail. He’s heavier than he looks. Cheerilee huffed, and went to the linen closet. She grabbed a blanket and put it on him, setting his head on the side of the couch.

“Sweet dreams, Gordon. Though.. I doubt you’ll have very good dreams.” She said, remembering that a symptom of PTSD is night terrors.

She hoped that wasn’t some form of foreshadowing.

She brushed her teeth, checked the doors, turned off her light, and got into bed.

Time skip brought to you by David.

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

Foreshadowing strikes again.

Cheerilee jumped out of bed immediately. Who was breaking in? Who was being attacked? What was happening?

She grabbed the frying pan she kept by her closet and rushed outside of her bedroom, holding it tightly in her mouth.

“Gordon! What’s-“

Gordon was in his bed, panting. There was no clear sign of danger.

I sighed. “Shit. Sorry, Cheerilee. I.. I had a nightmare.”

God damn.. I felt like a pussy. It was a nightmare. A fucking nightmare, and I was screaming bloody-murder.

“Oh.. Gordon. That’s okay. Don’t feel bad about that, you can’t control nightmares.. do.. do you want to talk about it?” She asked, putting down the frying pan.

I shook my head.

She sighed. “Okay. Look, Gordon.. why don’t we take you to see a therapist sometime? Celestia knows you’ll need it..”

I shook my head again. “Can’t. Way too expensive.”

“Gordon, therapists are free.” She said, exasperated.

No way.

I don’t believe it. Something that benefits the people.. is free to the people? Never thought I’d see the day!

My smile dropped. “Okay. I guess I’ll go.” I muttered. Man, I’m not too happy anymore. I just remembered that I actually have to go to therapy now.

“Good! That makes me really happy, Gordon. Now.. I’m going back to bed. I’m really tired.” Cheerilee said, suddenly losing all of her energy.

She trudged off to bed, forgetting her frying pan on the couch. I kicked it off and lied back down. I don’t want to stand up and go to my own room, I’ll lose the sleep.

So.. therapy, eh?

Oh boy. I’m so excited.

I took off my glasses and set them on the floor. I rubbed my face where they sat for the past few hours. Damn it.. why did I fall asleep with those on?

I rubbed my eyes, and turned over, shutting my eyes.

After a couple minutes, I opened them again.

I can’t sleep.

DAMN IT!

Dawn of the eighth day.

7 days remaining.

Thursday.

I looked at the piece of paper in my hands.

19, Good day drive

Happy happy, joy joy. Horse world sure loves its.. love. And compassion.

Can’t ask for just a little bit of darkness, can I?

I looked up at the building. Yep, I’m in the right place.

“Ohhhh...” I heard in the distance. Shit! They’re breaking into song again!

I quickly threw open the doors to the therapist’s office and slammed them behind me. I breathed deeply, calming down from the quick boost of adrenaline.

“Hello? Are you here for an appointment?” A gray stallion asked from the counter.

I shook my head. “No. I need to set one up.”

“Well, the doctor’s open right now. And..” He pulled out a clipboard. “The next appointment is in 2 days. Go inside, he’s expecting you.”

“I doubt it.”

He shrugged.

I walked to the door he was pointing to and knocked on it. The door swung open.

“Spearmint.. I’ve been expecting you!” He said, waving his hooves around.

“My name is Gordon.” I said, waving my hand in hello.

“Damn it! I thought for sure I would guess right that time.. anyway, what are you here for Gordon? Go ahead, take a seat.” He pointed at the stereotypical ‘Therapist chair’.

I walked over to it and lied down. I shifted around, before I found a comfortable spot.

“So, Gordon. Tell me about your problems.” He said, his horn lighting up.

“Uh, what’s with the horn?” I asked nervously. What was he doing?

“Oh, this? It’s a spell I cast to make the room a more calming environment. It eases your nerves and makes you more prone to opening up. Don’t worry, I have the license to be able to cast this spell.” He said, showing me a piece of paper.

“Uh.. okay, good.” I muttered, nodding my head.

I went on to tell him my issues. I don’t really want to describe all the details again (considering I just did that) so I’m sticking with this short and sweet barrier message.

“Hm.. okay, well.. it seems you definitely have PTSD. Slight or major, I can’t tell at this moment. Night terrors, flashbacks, and a short temper are some of the biggest symptoms. But I also think you have Survivor’s Guilt.” The therapist, whose name I learned was ‘Good Vibes’) explained.

“Survivor’s Guilt? What’s that?” I asked. Never heard that one before.

He put a hoof to his chin. “Well, in layman’s terms.. you feel bad about what happened. When you survive something not many others did, you feel bad about it. Like you didn’t deserve to live over them.”

Oh.. yeah, that makes sense.

He tore a piece of paper from a notepad and started writing on it. “Here’s a list of some medication. Take this to the pharmacy down the street and they’ll give you your medicine. I hope you have a good day, Gordon.” The therapist said, turning his horn off when I grabbed the paper.

Is that the right thing to say? ‘Turning it off’? That doesn’t sound right..

Whatever.

I nodded to the therapist, shook his hoof, and left the room. I waved goodbye to the receptionist on the way out.

I sighed.

Medication? PTSD? Survivor’s Guilt?

I sure am a pussy, aren’t I?

Author's Note

Now.. this may say the chapter is a day late. It’s not!

This website is based in the EU. But I live in The United States of America. For me it’s 11:44, September 7th. 3 days since the last chapter, which means that I am still on schedule.

If you want to know why this chapter was late (even though it wasn’t, shuddup) it was because I got wrapped up in a game.

...half-life.

Wow! Surprising!

I finished Half-Life 2, and then I beat Brutal Half-Life on hard mode. Yeah, I’m radical, I know.

In case you want a scale for how hard Brutal Half-Life was on hard mode.. at 80 health, a vortigaunt could kill you with one lightning bolt. Fun.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Looks like Gordon is finally getting the help he needs. Good for him.

Make sure to leave feedback! Constructive, destructive, and neutral criticism is always welcome! Love you, and..

Thanks for reading!

The B-Team

Dawn of the final day.

13 days since Gordon’s arrival.

Wednesday.

Tomorrow is the day of the invasion.

“Gordon! Shift’s over.” Davenport said, walking up to the counter. I nodded, removed my apron, and proceeded to put it on the hooks.

I stretched my arms out, listening to my back crack. I exhaled as I put my arms down.

“Good work today, Gordon. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night.” Davenport said, opening the doors to the shop.

“About that.” I said, trailing off. “Is it possible for me to take tomorrow off? I’ve got a big thing happening.”

Can’t specify the details. Please don’t ask..

“Hmm.. I guess so. You’ve been a great worker so far. But make sure you work extra hard when you get back!” He said, chuckling. I nodded.

I need to take tomorrow off. Why?

Well, I don’t want to be at work when the invasion happens. Who would? I’ve already done that, it wasn’t too nice. I’d much rather be prepared and ready for it. If I’m at work, I don’t even have my HEV suit on hand, I don’t have anybody to help, and it’ll take me by surprise. I’d much rather wait at home for it.

I left the shop, and walked down the streets of Ponyville. It was still bright outside. One thing I noticed was that there wasn’t really a sunset.. the sun kinda moved down at the same point in time every day. 6:00 PM. Speaking of time..

I walked up to a nearby stallion. They were blue with red, wavy hair. Well.. they were burgundy and teal. But why specify colors?

“Hey, you got the time?” I asked.

He pulled out a pocket watch. “5:34” he said, putting it back in his pocket. Okay.

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

He nodded, and continued on.

Okay, so apparently I get off at 5:30 every day.

I... actually didn’t know that until now.

I continued my walk through town, and scoffed when I kicked dirt up and it blew back directly into my face. What are the chances?

I sighed in exasperation. I’m tired.

I sat on my bed, holding a fist over my mouth. I was deep in thought.

So.. what?

How am I going to go about this? It’s tomorrow. The day time will stand still. The D-Day, the black day. The day to end all.

And some other euphemisms I’m too lazy to come up with.

No Princess is willing to help. Well, one Princess isn’t willing to help. The others aren’t available. Which means that no skilled magicians are on our side. Which means.. we’re boned.

Pretty much boned, at least. I have some help. But will it be enough?

Spike said he was coming over today to tell me about the friends he was able to get on his side. At this point, I’m just waiting for him, really. I suspect that Rainbow Dash is one of them.. but who else came with can be left up to interpretation.

So.. we’ve got a team of at least two, with me and Spike. That does not give us much of a chance against the entirety of an alien race.

Hopefully, Princess Twilight has a change of heart. But I doubt it. That’s reaching for straws. Grasping at straws? I forget the term.

I got up from my spot on the bed and walked out of my bedroom. I closed the door behind me and walked to the kitchen. I pulled a cup from the cabinet and filled it with water, quickly chugging it down, trying in vain to calm my ever-present nerves.

Knock, knock

Either Spike is at the door, or it’s that nice mailwoman. What was her name? Ditzy?

“Ah, Spike! Come in. I’ll go grab Gordon.” I heard Cheerilee say. She must’ve gotten the door.

There’s my queue. Okay.. let’s hope he’s got somebody..

Cheerilee walked into the kitchen and jumped at the sight of me.

“Woah! Didn’t see you there, Gordon. When did you come out here?” She asked, holding a hoof over her heart. I chuckled.

“Not too long ago. I was thirsty.”

She nodded. “Yep, that’ll do it.. anyway, they’re in the living room waiting for you. Go see them!” She said, grabbing a broom and sweeping me away.

“Hey, hey I can walk on my own-!” She did one last push.

“‘Git! Your friends are waiting on you!” She exclaimed, chuckling slightly.

I righted myself and walked into the living room. In it sat Spike, along with two other ponies. Rainbow Dash and.. Applejack.

This is a great sign.

“You son of a bitch, you really did it.” I said, holding out my fist for a bump. Spike chuckled and followed through with the bump.

“That I did, Gordon. Rainbow Dash is loyal to a fault, and Applejack is very protective of her friends and family. So.. a good mix, I guess. The others didn’t believe me, which I still don’t understand! We used to deal with evil on, like, a weekly basis. What’s so outlandish about aliens?” He growled, hitting his head with a fist.

“I don’t entirely believe ya, but better safe than sorry I s’pose.” Applejack said, tilting her hat.

There’s gotta be some sort of spell or something on these damn horses. Why won’t they believe me? Why is it only Spike??

Whatever. You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.

Spike took a calming breath, “Okay. Gordon, what’s the plan? What do we do when it goes down tomorrow?”

I put a finger to my chin. “First order of business is to find a portal. I’m really, really hoping that one shows up naturally. We can take it and go to Xen, where we can then take out the leader. My guess is that it’s either another Nihilanth, or something worse. I’m hoping it’s the Nihilanth thing. Now.. I doubt getting to the portal is going to be as easy as walking down the street, so I need you all to arm yourselves. Friendship won’t work against-“

My voice cut out.

“Friendship won’t work against it. You get me?” I said. They all nodded along.

“So, what should we arm ourselves with?” Rainbow asked.

“Uh.. baseball bats, crossbows, normal bows, maybe a baton? Something that can fire from a range. But, it’s also good to have a backup melee weapon.” I explained, counting on my fingers. They nodded along.

“I have a baton at work I can grab.” Rainbow muttered.

“I have mah lasso, but I should probably grab a fryin’ pan from the kitchen or somethin’.” Applejack pondered.

“I’ve got my fire breath, and I learned some dragon magic.” Spike said, letting out a little bit of his breath to show off.

“Dragon magic? Show me.” I said. He nodded, and waved his finger.

Nearby, a potted plant caught on fire.

“Woah!” I exclaimed. That’s incredible!

“..thanks.” He choked out, breathing heavily. How much did that take out of him?

“Okay.. that’s clearly not the best thing to use when on the run, yeah? I’d say only use it when necessary. Grab a baseball bat.” I recommended. He nodded.

Okay. So what now?

I mean..

I guess we could try that out.

“Guys.. let’s go do something real fast. It’ll either help us, or do nothing at all.” I said, waving for them to stand up. They had been sitting on the couch, after all.

Can’t get much done from there, heh.

I set down the soap box and stood on top of it, gaining an even bigger height advantage.

“Citizens of Ponyville!” I yelled out. They all stopped to stare at the weirdo.

What am I doing?

Well, it’s simple. I’m warning the public of the incoming danger. Whether they choose to believe me.. well, that’s their decision. Hopefully, someone does, and chooses to come save the world. If nobody does, well then that sucks don’t it?

“I cannot state why, but you are all in danger. Don’t worry; I am not the cause. Something bad is going down, and it’s happening tomorrow. Lock your doors, hide your dogs. If any of you want to help stop this endeavor.. come forward.”

Nobody moved.

Sweet! Awesome. This is definitely helpful to the cause.

“As I thought. Okay.. just in case we fail.. say goodbye to your loved ones-!” I cut myself off as I dodged a tomato. What the hell?!

“Shut up!” Someone yelled. Another tomato was thrown. And then another.

And then many, many more.

Apparently they don’t like a public speaker.

I grabbed the soap box, “Let’s bounce!” I yelled, running away from the impending tomato war. The others quickly followed after me, dodging their fair-share of the fruit.. vegetable... thing. I threw down the soapbox because it got too heavy to carry.

We ran home quickly, both dodging AND getting pelted by tomatoes. Rainbow Dash pulled an umbrella from.. somewhere, and was blocking the tomatoes. Applejack covered her face with her hat.

Spike and I just covered out faces with our hands. The luxuries of being bipedal!

I yanked Cheerilee’s door open and waved the others inside. I quickly slammed it when Applejack entered last.

I breathed heavily, leaning against the door.

“What the tartarus was that?!” Spike asked the question on everyone’s mind. “Why did they start throwing tomatoes?!”

I steadied my breathing, closing my eyes. “I don’t know.” I opened them again. “But that was really weird.”

Okay.. nobody wanted to save the world. Which I highly doubt to be the case.

So, this reinforces the idea of some sort of spell blocking them from feeling natural emotions. My guess:

The bastard in the suit, trying his damndest to make my life hell.

“I.. will neither confirm.. nor deny-these accusations..”

What the fuck? Are you always in my head?!

..

Answer me! Answer me you suited bastard!!

...

I combed a hand through my hair as I slid down the door slowly, like a movie character when they learn their wife got cancer or something. If only I had a cap to take off..

“You alright there Bud?” Rainbow Dash asked.

I’m pretty fuckin’ far from okay. But I can’t tell them that.

I sighed, taking off my glasses and rubbing my nose. “I’m fine.”

I put my glasses back on, adjusting them so they wouldn’t fall. “Okay.. let’s go over the plan again. We all find the teleporter, go to Xen, and fight the big bad. Save anyone along the way. Got it?” I asked.

They all nodded.

“You know it! This.. Uh, thing, won’t know what’s coming!” Rainbow Dash said, throwing a few faux punches.

“Yup. All ready, Sugar.” Applejack said.

“I guess.” Spike said, shrugging his shoulders.

“I feel ya, Spike.” I muttered.

We shared a laugh at that.

“Guys..?” I said, getting serious.

“What?” They all asked at the same time.

I took a deep breath, calming myself. This is gonna be hard to say.. “Just in case this goes wrong.. tell your family you love them. Tell your friends. Pet your dog one last time, you know?” I said solemnly.

I didn’t want it to come to that. But.. it could happen. It was very much a chance. This mission isn’t going to be easy. Not by a long shot.

I felt a hoof on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Big Guy. That ain’t happening.” Rainbow said. Applejack put her hoof on my shoulder too, and so did Spike.

We got this.

We got this by the ass.

I stood back up and put my hand out.

“Everyone.. ‘Get fucked’ on three.” I said. They put their hooves/claw in the circle.

“1..2..3!” I counted.

“Get Fucked!”

Tomorrow.. is gonna be a good day.

I can feel it.

Princess Twilight sat in her chambers, deep in thought. She held a hoof over her mouth.

Had she made the right decision?

What if.. what’s his name, Gordo; was right? That there really was danger? And that.. she was putting her little ponies in danger by ignoring it?

Spike had been sneaking off to see somepony. She assumed it was Gordo. No, wait! Gordon.

She assumed he had been sneaking off to see Gordon. He probably thought she didn’t notice him when he left the castle for extended periods of time.

And he probably believes that the journal about the ‘plan’ is still a secret. She found that on like, the first day!

She sighed, rubbing a hoof on her forehead. She was getting a headache.

She stood up, and made her way out of her room. She waved to the guards outside her door to stay at their posts.

She walked into the kitchen and pulled a glass cup from a cupboard. She filled it with water from the tap, and took a sip.

She just hopes she doesn’t regret her decision.

“I hope he was just lying.” She thought, taking another sip of her water.

But what if he wasn’t?

What then?

Does she fight back? CAN she fight back?

She began to make her way back to her room.

Twilight shook her head. Of course she can fight back! She’s the Element of Magic, and a Princess at that!

But.. what if her magic isn’t strong enough?

She’s not all-powerful. She can be defeated.

...and she doesn’t want to think about the consequences if she were to.. fail.

If she let her ponies get harmed. If she let Gordon be correct. If Gordon was correct.

She entered her chambers and removed her royal regalia, slipping into her bedspread moments later.

She didn’t want to imagine it. She knew it was irresponsible to just brush it off.. but what else could she do? Believe Gordon? Hah! No. It’s too late for that, and she knew he was lying the whole time. It was so obvious.

Yeah, yeah! He was lying. Right out of his flank. He was just.. bullshitting. Forgive her language.

She turned over in bed. She clopped her hooves together twice and the lights turned off.

She had nothing to worry about.

Everything was okay.

Everything was fine.

...

Nothing was wrong.

Nothing at all.

Author's Note

Sorry for the shorter than normal chapter; there wasn’t much to talk about with this one, and I wanted to reserve the whole ‘Arc start’ for its own chapter.

Also, apologies for me being a day early. I’m doing this so I can get the fic to be back on it’s schedule, because according to the website, it’s off by a day. This just balances it out.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter! All criticism is welcome, as usual. I love you all, and..

Thanks for reading!

Four Brave Champions

Dawn of the Black Day

0 days remain

Thursday

I woke up quickly. I slammed my hand down on the alarm clock and threw off my covers. I grabbed my glasses, cleaned them, and tossed them on my face. I put on my undershirt and pants, and grabbed the HEV from its place in the closet. I unzipped the back and stepped inside. The auto-zip function did the rest.

“Welcome to the H.E.V. mark IV protective system, for use in hazardous environment conditions.

High impact reactive armor activated.

Atmospheric contaminant sensors activated.”

I felt a quick, but sharp, pain as the suit pricked a needle into my spine.

“Vital sign monitoring activated.

Automatic medical systems engaged.

Defensive weapon selection system activated.

Munition level monitoring activated.

Communications interface online.

Have a very safe day!”

Seems everything is in working condition.

..

Imagine there was like, rock music playing during that process. Or something.

I focused on the numbers in the corner of my vision.

Health: 100. That’s good.

Suit power: 53. Not so good. I need a charger.

Sadly, I don’t think there are any chargers in horse world. I guess I just have to work with what I have.

I grabbed my crowbar off the bedside table and hung it on one of the hooks. The HEV suit has a bunch of little hooks on the back of it for any bigger weapons, while it has a bunch of hooks on the front for any smaller weapons/tools. I kept my crowbar on my back because it allowed quick access, but it wasn’t a top weapon so I didn’t need to put it on the front of the suit.

I may not have any other weapons, but I’m keeping it there because I’m used to it. I don’t want to accidentally reach for something and not have it there.

I opened the door to my bedroom and walked out. I stared longingly at the interior before closing the door slowly.

I walked to the restroom, did my business (the suit had removable parts. Neat, huh?) and started brushing my teeth.

..

Why don’t I have a helmet?

The other scientists got helmets, so why not me? I feel like it would be quite important.

But whatever. It’s not like it mattered in the facility, right? I wasn’t exactly swimming in radiation.

I spit in the sink, washed my mouth out, and lightly trimmed my beard. I left the bathroom and walked into the kitchen.

Cheerilee sat at the table, holding her head in her hooves.

“You alright?” I asked. She looked up at me with puffy eyes. Had she been crying?

“..Not really, Gordon.” She said, looking down at the table again. “I’m really worried. About you. About Equestria.”

Oh. That.. makes sense.

I sat down at the table and put a hand on her hoof.

“Hey.” I said. She lifted her head and looked at me. “It’s gonna be fine. I got this. We got this. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Do you, Gordon?” She asked. “Do you have this?”

..

I don’t know.

“I... I hope, Cheerilee. But talking like that won’t get anything done! We’re gonna do it, even if it kills us.” I said, steeling my resolve.

She smiled slightly. “You’re right. I’m.. I’m being dumb. Everything will turn out okay.”

“Don’t call yourself dumb. Your feelings are understandable, Cheerilee.” I lightly scolded.

She stood up, and wrapped her forelegs around me tightly.

“Gordon?” She asked.

“Yeah?”

“Stay safe.. Please.” She whispered.

I nodded my head.

“Of course.” I muttered.

Damn. I’m supposed to be having therapy today, not her. Heh.

“Do you all remember the plan?” I asked the group. They all nodded.

The sun beat down on all of us. It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. It was rather hot, but I crack that up to me wearing an insulated super suit. The trees were lush, the grass was green, and the world was fucked.

I got a good look at them.

They all had saddlebags. Well, Spike had a backpack. But they all wore bags.

Spike’s bag had a baseball bat sticking out of it. One of Dash’s bags had a baton sticking out of it, and Applejack had what looks like a frying pan. I guess they all took my advice. This is good.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Spike said, pulling off his backpack. He reached in and pulled something out.

Is that a crossbow?

“This is a crossbow. Who wants it?” He asked. I was right!

“I’ll take it.” I said. Spike nodded, and handed it to me.

Hell yeah. Daddy’s home, bitches.

Spike handed me a bunch of magazines. “I stole these from the guard station. Let’s hope they don’t notice.” He chuckled nervously.

Horse world strikes again. This time by having magazines.

I shook my head. Not the time, Gordon. Not the time.

I put the crossbow on my side hook, and put the magazines in the magazine slot. Yeah! The suit has a slot for magazines! It’s handy.

I looked at the group.

They looked at me.

...

“So when is it happening?” Rainbow Dash asked.

I deflated, “I don’t actually know.”

They all groaned.

Roughly 3 hours of waiting later...

“I’m gonna go get a snack. Anyone want anything?” I asked. They shook their heads.

I stood up, and entered the house. I walked into the kitchen and opened a cupboard.

RUMBLE...

What was that?

Eh, probably nothing.

BOOOMMM!!

That didn’t sound like nothing!

I quickly scrambled to get out of the house, tripping on my own feet multiple times.

“Gordon get out of there! It’s happening!” Spike yelled.

Thanks Captain Obvious!

KKKKKKRRRRCCHHHZZAPPPPP!!!!

“Princess! Princess Twilight!” The Captain of the Friendship Guard, Rusty Shield, cried out.

Princess Twilight looked at her subject, and friend. She didn’t like the sound of this. “What is it?”

“I.. I don’t know! These things.. they’re attacking Ponyville! They look dangerous, many have already been hurt!” He explained frantically.

Twilight went full panic mode. Gordon..

The bastard was right!

“Get your troops, and take care of the problem. And while you’re out there? Find Freeman, and take him out!” She yelled. She was not happy.

“What? Ma’am, who’s Freeman?” He asked, puzzled.

Twilight gained an embarrassed expression. Oh, right.

“He’s a bipedal stallion. He’s got a beard, and he looks weird. He wears glasses, and his eyes are green. He’s NOT a pony. He’s got claws like Spike. Speaking of Spike.. Jeeves, go find Spike.” She explained, looking over at a brown stallion.

Jeeves Junior, son of Jeeves Senior, nodded frantically. “Yes Princess!” The young man yelled, rushing off.

“Rusty Shield, go!” Twilight ordered. He nodded.

Twilight sighed. What is she going to do?

..

Rusty shield ran to the barracks, and slammed on the door. “Stallions, get your asses outta bed! We’ve got a situation!”

They sleep late in the day. A tired man wants to rest, after all. Sadly, it looked like they wouldn’t get their rest.

“Yes, Sir?” A sleepy guard said, rubbing his eyes.

“We’ve got a problem. I don’t know what it is.. but something’s invading Ponyville, and probably all of Equestria. Grab your crossbows and get moving! And if you encounter a biped with a beard, green eyes, and glasses, take him out! Princess’ orders!”

“Sir, yes Sir!” They all yelled.

They ran to the weapons room, and grabbed their weapons. They went to grab the spare magazines, but few were left.

“Where did they all go?” One guard asked.

“I don’t know, Private! But take what’s left and GET MOVING!” Rusty Shield ordered.

They all scrambled to get their shit.

Life has a funny way of going about things.

Some people call it Murphy’s law. Which states that, “If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.”

I call it.. being Gordon Freeman.

Because god damn, if life doesn’t love to fuck me.

I rushed out of the house, and instantly had to smash a headcrab with my crowbar. Oh, how I missed you guys. Not!

I looked back up at the group. They looked pretty grossed out at the display of violence. I walked over to them, and smacked a headcrab out of the air when it jumped for Rainbow.

“Watch yourself.” I said. She nodded fearfully, pulling out her baton.

Spike took out his bat, and Applejack took out her frying pan.

“Ah think Ah believe ya now..” She said, voice muffled slightly.

“Gee, I wonder why.” I said sarcastically.

I looked around. I tried to see if the teleporter was.. within sight. It was not.

“So.. if I were a teleporter, where would I be?” I asked myself. Probably in a big city, right?

“Spike.” I said. He looked at me.

“Gordon.”

“Which city in Equestria has the biggest, most dense population?” I asked. He put a claw to his chin.

“..Canterlot.”

“Where is Canterlot?”

“North. We can take the Friendship Express. It’s that way.” He said, pointing off in the distance.

Oh my god. The Friendship Express? That’s so lame.

I held back a chuckle, nodded, and started running that way. Nobody followed.

“Well, come on!” I exclaimed. They snapped out of their stupor and started running after me.

My ears picked up a voice, “Jacob, Sweetie, get the gun.”

“What? Why?”

“They’re back.”

I looked in the direction of the voices casually, but did a double take when I thought I saw a Black Mesa Security Guard uniform.

But.. it must’ve been my imagination. There was nobody there.

Odd-

Oh, shit!

I tackled a mare out of the way of a headcrab. She was trying to talk to one, the dumbass!

“Hey, watch yourself! These things aren’t friendly.” I explained, pulling her up. She nodded fearfully and ran off.

WHIIIIIRRRRRRR...

I rushed up and smacked the houndeye with my crowbar. In its stunned state, I hit it again. One more time, and it died.

WHIIIIRRRRRR... BOOM!

“Jump!” I yelled out. I was the only one that jumped.

Spike, RD, and AJ were all knocked over. Spike waved his finger at the nearby houndeye and it went up in flames.

...that’s still so damn cool.

I rushed over to them and helped them all stand up.

“Okay! So. Crash course. Those are called.. houndeyes, if I recall correctly. They can shoot out sonic booms after giving you tinnitus. There are these other things called.. bullsquids, that shoot toxic mucus and can swipe their spikey tail at you. Avoid that. Headcrabs.. avoid at all costs. Not only do they kill you, they will turn you into a zombie. Uh.. let’s see, what else? Oh yeah! Vortigaunts. They’re these one-eyed bipedal lanky dudes that shoot lightning. I only really recommend getting close to the houndeyes and headcrabs. Wait for a headcrab to jump at you, dodge, and then take it out. With houndeyes? Just bum-rush ‘em and hope for the best. I think that’s it. You got all that?” I explained.

They all nodded at the same time. Look, I doubt you all got that. But I’ll trust that you did.

Rainbow swung her baton at a headcrab that jumped for a nearby stallion. It died in midair. The stallion ran off, like a PUSSY. Rainbow dropped her baton and looked a little queasy.

I walked up to her and put a hand on her withers, causing her to flinch.

“You doing okay?” I asked.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever killed something..” She whispered fearfully.

“Well, these things don’t really have emotions, remember. They’re kinda just mindless monsters, purely designed to cause harm. I doubt they even have the nerve receptors to feel pain.”

She stared at me.

“That make you feel any better?” I asked, elbowing a jumping headcrab.

“Not at all.”

“You get used to it.” I said, pulling out my crossbow and shooting a bullsquid.

“Do you really?” She asked.

“Not at all.” I said, and inhaled.

“EVERYPONY! GET YOUR ASSES INSIDE! LOCK YOUR DOORS!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Many nearby ponies sprung into action, rushing off. And subsequently, out of our way.

“Well, come on! To the train station!” I yelled, quickly dashing off. I looked behind me to see that they were following me. Good.

“I’ll lead!” Spike said, rushing up ahead of me. “I know where it is.. and I don’t think you do.” He explained, looking at me.

“Good idea! Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t actually know where it was.” I admitted.

I looked around for anyone in danger. I shot a houndeye off in the distance, and pierced a nearby vortigaunt’s skull with the sharp end of my crowbar. I ripped it out and smacked a nearby headcrab. Dash and AJ were fucking up their fair share of headcrabs as we all rushed to get to the station. I don’t know when that train leaves, but I sure hope it isn’t too soon.

Wait.. is that?

Is that a zombie pony?

Oh shit..

I mean I expected it, but I didn’t expect it at the same time, you get me?

I bashed it over the head with my crowbar and dodged out of the way of its claws. I rushed back in and slammed the tool down again, 3 times in succession. I jumped back, and went back in. 3 more hits, but I didn’t dodge all the way and it swiped at me with claw-hooves.

“Agh!” I yelled, and slammed my crowbar down 3 more times. It finally perished.

“Minor lacerations detected.”

Health: 90. Damn it, I can’t be reckless like that.

I turned to face the crew and they all stood there, shocked looks on their faces.

“Relax. It was a zombie. There’s no curing them.” I explained. “I trusted that you all understood the ramifications when you chose to come on this journey with me. We’re going to be encountering many more of these things, so get it out of your system now.”

Applejack threw up.

“Ya.. ya jus’ killed a pony!” She dry-heaved.

“Zombie. It was already dead. Now come on. I don’t know when that train is leaving, and if we get caught up on every death, then we’re never going to make it to Canterlot. I recommend just disassociating! Works for me.” I said, and started running again.

Spike pat Applejack on the withers and rushed after me.

Rainbow Dash sighed and looked at Applejack.

“Look, AJ. I’m not very good at this mushy stuff.. but it’s gonna be okay. The faster we get to the station means it’s faster that this whole thing will be over. I’m not too comfortable with it either, but Equestria needs us. I care about everypony, and that includes you guys. I don’t want anypony else getting hurt. And if you are hesitant to take somepony out.. then that can mean disaster. Now, come on. They’re leaving us in the dust!” Rainbow chuckled.

Applejack smiled. “Thanks.”

On the inside, she didn’t feel much better. Rainbow was, indeed, not good at mushy stuff.

“Anytime.” Rainbow said, running off. “Hey guys! Wait up!”

Applejack shook her head and chuckled.

That crazy pony.

I rushed up to the ticket booth at the train station, only to find a dead guy inside. Damn it!

“How are we gonna get on the train now?!” Spike yelled.

I sighed. “Crime.”

I rushed up to the actual train, intending to sneak on.

Something hit the back of my suit. I looked back and saw a bunch of royal guards.

“I hit him!” One yelled.

The god damn.. MILITARY!!

I shot the bastard with my own crossbow and ran towards the train, intending to just GET OUTTA THERE.

“Let’s get going! Avoid the guards!” I yelled. The crew all nodded, and ran alongside me.

I ran towards the train, hoping to stowaway on like, a cargo cart or something.

Only to find that the train was already moving. Ope.

I ran after the train, hoping to catch up. Since the ponies are ponies and can run faster than me, they caught up to it and jumped on one of the open-sided cargo carts. They grabbed Spike’s hand and pulled him up, and stuck their hooves out for me.

“Gordon, come on!” Rainbow yelled. Damn it, this is just like those shitty movies!

I avoided an arrow that came for my head, and kept running.

I tried my hardest, but I couldn’t catch up. They were getting too far. The caboose is coming up.

Wait, the caboose! Don’t they usually have guardrails?

I pulled out my crowbar and waited for it to come up. Come on, hands.. don’t fail me now.

As it zoomed past, I stuck out my crowbar and latched onto a bar. The thing hooked on, and I flew into the air.

YEAH!!

Okay.. now what?

If I can climb up.. I can use that door to enter the train. Good plan, me.

I used what little upper-body strength I had to pull myself up the length of my crowbar. I sighed in relief when I finally grabbed the railing and pulled myself over, standing near the entrance door. I fell to the floor in exhaustion.

Holy shit, that was intense. I’m so exhausted, too. I could just lie down here.. and slee-

No! Gotta keep moving.

I swung open the doors to the caboose and was tackled instantly by a zombie. I stuck my crowbar in its mouth to hold it off, and kicked it with my feet. It flew over the railing and onto the tracks. I stood back up, and gained a more defensive position.

I smacked a nearby headcrab into a wall and it died. These things are weaker than I remember.

Or maybe I’m stronger. Who knows.

I made it to the end of the train car and swung open the next door. Cargo..

What’s the point of the caboose if you can’t even GET to it?

I climbed the ladder and stepped into the cart, surprised at how soft the inside felt. I pulled back the tarp to see what was inside.

..pillows?

...

Not gonna question it.

I continued through the odd landscape and jumped to the next train car, only to be blown back. I grabbed the edge of the pillow cart, which put too much strain on my shoulder, and finally dislocated it. I yelped in pain as I pulled myself up.

“Minor dislocation detected. Morphine administered.”

So, don’t jump on a train. Physics don’t allow it.

I hyped myself up.

“Okay.. Gordon. Be a man, be a man, be a man!”

I popped my shoulder back into place and let out an ear-piercing shriek. That hurts WAY more than I thought! Shouldn’t the morphine be-

There it is. Sweet relief..

I walked back through the pillow paradise, and slowly stepped onto the next cart.

This one contained coal. That’s more realistic.

The next cart contained gemstones.

...I did not steal any.

The next cart was more pillows.

And the next one was an open-sided one. It just contained a few crates.

The next was another open-sided one. This one contained exactly what I was looking for.

I slammed down into the cart through the roof entrance. “I’m back.”

Something hard collided with my head, and everything went black.

You know..

That was probably a bad decision on my part.

Author's Note

Fuckin’ finally! Out of the first arc and into the next one! Only after the length of my entire first story. Awesome.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I’m not very good at writing action, so forgive me if it’s a little.. underwhelming? I guess? Yeah.

Title reference: Castle Crashers. Title of the main theme.

Think I’m gonna start including the specific reference in the A/N now. It’d work better, and I won’t have to shoehorn in an awkward way of mentioning it.

One more thing: the part where Gordon thinks he sees someone named ‘Jacob’ in a Black Mesa security guard uniform is a reference to the story Black Bloom by BronyCommander. That guy‘s a chad and the least I could do is give him some more exposure for all he’s done for me. I recommend checking it out.

Tell me of any mistakes! Criticism is welcome in any form! Constructive, destructive, neutral, anything! Hope you have a good day, and..

Thanks for reading!

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked

I stepped over the blue laser and looked around the new room.

Oh.. shit.

Blue lasers surrounded the entirety of the large room. I could see them all. There were explosive barrels and boxes placed throughout the room, and many of them sat on big metal carriers. These carriers contained other things too, but mostly explosives, it seems.

I’ve gotta go through here in order to continue, don’t I?

..

I do.

The wise words of Darryl Smith rang in my head as I contemplated my inevitable failure.

“Please, I beg of you.. for all our sake.. proceed with extreme caution.” He had told me, fear obvious in his tone.

No kidding. One wrong move.. and we’re all dead. Everyone. The marines, the scientists, the security guards. Wiped off the face of the planet.

Oh boy! Hundreds -hell, thousands- of lives are on my shoulders. This sure helps the fact that I’m super nervous.

But standing around like a pussy isn’t going to get anything done. That’s what my Dad always told me.

I crawled under the first blue line and walked to the next set. I looked at it from multiple angles.

There’s no clear way I can make it across... I’ll just have to find another way around. Damn it.

I went back to the carriers and saw an opening in one of them. That’ll work.

I climbed inside and slowly moved to the other side, not daring to touch any of the barrels. I stood on the other side, and saw that there was a large wooden crate and a small metal one.

I CAN jump from one to the other.. but that’s risking a little too much. If I mess up, I can trip and push the crate into a blue line. And then we all die.

I’d rather not do that, thanks.

I pulled out my crowbar and popped a wooden beam off of the crate. I did this until there was enough space for me to crawl in one side and out the other.

The crate was, thankfully, empty.

I squeezed through the small hole on the opposite side and looked for my next plan of attack. I crawled under another blue line and stood back up. I looked to my left and saw that the elevator down was blocked off. By lasers.

Which, in case you didn’t know by now, are bombs.

I looked to my right and saw the platform above my head.

...I’m gonna have to jump inside this thing from there, aren’t I? I’m gonna have to do some Mario shit?

Yeah, I am. So how do I get up there?

Fuck around and find out, it seems.

I ducked my head under a high laser and stepped over another. I limbo’d under another one and noticed the security office.

Okay, that will lead to the platform, won’t it?

I walked inside, but quickly jumped back. There was a laser I almost walked right into.

I bonked my own head. Smooth moves, smart guy.

I ducked under it and observed my surroundings. It was a very basic security office. There wasn’t even any ammunition or anything, so it was pointless in the end. I sighed in annoyance.

I spotted the door to the platform and ran through it. I walked up the steps and noticed the HEV charger on the wall. I carefully stepped over another bomb and put my hands on the charger.

I typed in my ID number and put the hose in my input jack. I pressed the ‘Okay’ button and it started to charge. The battery liquid emptied from each of the three tubes and the shutter closed. 78 percent. Nice.

Not the best, but it’s okay.

I jumped over another bomb and walked to the platform controls. I pressed the ‘Up’ button and the platform started moving in the specified direction. Yes!

Wait, there’s a crate on it! It’s gonna touch the laser!

Not thinking clearly, I jumped onto the platform and beat it to hell with my crowbar. Come on, come on!

I hit it repeatedly. The box was taking a lot of punishment, and I was getting closer and closer to the end of the line.

It shattered into pieces and I quickly fell to the floor, dodging the blue line. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

I crawled from my place of entrapment and stood up.

I looked down at the elevator. There’s a dead alien inside. It looks like one of those big ones. You know, the ones with the armor.

I took two steps back, and ran. At the last second, I jumped as high and as far as I could. I cleared the blue lines, but landed hard.

“Minor fracture detected.”

Thanks, suit.

I sat up, and started breathing heavily.

..

Holy shit! I just did that! Look at me, mission impossible man!

I started to laugh. I was so utterly relieved. I’m okay! They’re all okay! Nobody’s dying in a fiery explosion!

I threw up on the floor.

But I don’t care! I’m okay!

I’m.. I’m okay.

Nobody’s dead.

I’m not dead.

The elevator stopped as it touched the ground floor. The grates opened up to reveal a bigger room. I stood up on wobbly legs, and inspected the body of the alien.

I grabbed the weapon he was using. It looked like another alien.

Wait, it is!

How.. how’d he do that? How’d he use a living creature as a weapon?

I noticed that there was an orifice on the bottom. Is.. is that it’s asshole? Or is that it’s.. ‘carrying handle’.

Only one way to find out..

I closed my eyes and looked away in disgust as I drove my hand inside. It squealed in protest and wiggled around, but I kept forcing my hand in there.

It covered the entirety of my arm, and I squeezed my hand. It fired out tiny little things.

I shivered. That felt wrong. I feel dirty.

I took it off my hand and put it on one of my back hooks. I didn’t want to look at it.

I walked out of the elevator and looked around the new area. It was wide, and there weren’t any blue lines! Hey..

My moment of peace was interrupted when a security guard came running from a large opening, “Hey! Get these guys off me!” He yelled, dodging a bullet.

Ope, shit! Gotta move!

I pulled out my submachine gun and used the secondary trigger. The gun recoiled massively as a large grenade fired from its second barrel, and into the air at a lethargic pace. It flew far and directly into the 3 marines that were shooting at me and the security guard. Their body parts decorated the room as they met the Devil in hell.

I turned to face the security guard, but was met with a blunt object to the face. I fell to the floor as my glasses hit the ground next to me, causing a lens to shatter. I looked up and saw a blurry mess. I grabbed my glasses and shoved them on my face, getting a clear look at what had struck me.

What.. what the hell is that?!

It was covered in blood. It’s hair was mangled mess, and it’s white clothes were (as stated previously) COATED in blood. It’s mouth was gross. It had its lips in a circle and it’s teeth were sharp, yet dull. It looked like if I stuck my hand inside, it would be torn to bits instead of being bitten off.

It squealed and charged again. It smashed its hammer down and I rolled out of the way and stood. The place where my head had been was completely destroyed. It’s hammer was stuck in the ground.

I pulled out my glock and put at least 7 rounds into it before it fell to the ground, dead.

I breathed heavily. Who the fuck.. what the fuck was that?!

I wiped the sweat from my brow and retrieved my submachine gun, holstering my glock- wait. Didn’t I have a beretta?

I shook my head, wiped some blood off of the gun and put it back on the hook. I walked the way the marines came, considering there was nowhere else for me to go.

My vision changed, and the room was coated in blood. But when I blinked it was gone.

I shook my head, and continued walking.

BWOOM

The room did it again. Everything changed to a damn hellscape, but then woo, gone. What the hell?

I walked up to a door, not having high hopes for it. It’s probably locked.

I pulled the handle.

Click.

Nice! Awesome.

But then everything changed. This time for real.

There was a constant hum. Like there was a machine running in the distance. It became grating quick.

But that wasn’t the weirdest.. OR creepiest part.

The room was covered head to toe in bloodstains. Well, room is stretching it. It’s a long hallway. But yeah.. blood. Everywhere.

I walked to the end of the hallway and through a destroyed part of the wall. It opened into another hallway that I continued to follow. In this one, everything had an industrial look to it and smelled like metal. The room is, of course, still coated in blood.

“Hello? Is anybody here?” I asked out loud. What happened here?

Why is everything covered in blood? What could have caused this? What atrocity could have caused such.. artistic talent?

I came across a whiteboard to my left.

“What do you think?” Was written in blood. What do I think?

I think I’m going crazy.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked, a little louder. Who wrote that?

I continued walking, only stopping to read the next whiteboard.

“Do you like this?”

Not at all.

“Hey, answer me!” I started to raise my voice, “Who’s out there?”

Next whiteboard.

“You don’t know anything.”

“Nope. I’m pretty fucking confused here!”

Next.

“If you just could understand.”

“Understand what?? Who ARE you?!” I yelled.

Next..

“That I NEVER wanted this.”

“Wanted what?! Tell me! Give me SOMETHING!” I yelled, punching the damn thing.

..what was that? Why am I getting so angry?

I took a deep breath and continued walking. Getting mad never helped anybody. You’re supposed to stay calm in situations like this.

Eventually, I started to descend a staircase. I had to navigate it slightly because the walls were twisting and turning, and that made it hard to get through the tiny gap that was given.

I made a right turn, and then a left. This place is so fucked..

One last whiteboard.. and a door.

“I just want you to die.. just... DIE”

What did I do to this person? Is some marine haunting me from the grave? Who would want to kill me?

Who would want me dead...?

Nobody I know of. Unless this is some sort of military trap.. but I don’t know how they could achieve this. That’s blood. That’s not paint.

How can I tell?

The metallic scent. The color. The way it’s stained on the wall. It’s more like a spray than a concentration.

...the taste. Don’t question me on that, science calls for doing a couple weird things every now and again.

But that’s off-topic.

I stood in front of the door, waving my hand over the handle. I pulled it back.

Whoever’s in there could be really dangerous.

I pulled out my shotgun and checked to see if it was loaded. Yep..

I took a deep breath and opened the door. It was.. surprise surprise, ANOTHER HALLWAY.

I steeled my nerves, adjusted my glasses, and coughed into my hand. Let’s do this.

I observed the new hallway I was in.

The floor had turned into a grate, and the walls weren’t bloody anymore. That’s a good sign.. right?

I continued walking until something... something happened.

Hundreds of hands.

Thousands, even.

Thousands of hands burst forth from the floor, grasping and scratching at anything they could.

Fuck this. Fuck this hard.

I began sprinting. I had to get out of here. If I didn’t, it’ll start to hurt soon. And I don’t want that. At the moment, I couldn’t feel anything. But I chalked that up to the adrenaline.

I came across a split path, and chose to go right. It seems that was the correct decision.

I continued running, and took a left at the next split path. Once again; I made the right choice. I took a few more turns, and smiled at the holy grail in front of me.

A door!

My adrenaline spiked as I ran faster. Almost there...

Almost there!

I grasped the handle and forced myself through the door. My vision went white as I entered.

I blinked rapidly to clear my eyes. Eventually, everything returned and I could see.

I was in Black Mesa. Never did I think I would be this happy about being at work..

“Doc? You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s in there?” The security guard asked me. Security guard?

I turned to look at the voice and saw the guy I saved.

...right. Forgot about him.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked. Might as well learn it, if I’m gonna be spending time with him.

“Richard Hard, Doc.” He answered, cleaning his gun with his shirt.

“You’re joking.” I said, off-handedly.

There’s no way this guy’s name is Dick Hard. Nobody hates their kid that much.

“Not joking, Doc. I know, I know. It’s unfortunate.” He groaned out.

I put a hand on his shoulder. “I feel for you.”

He smiled slightly. “Thanks. Anyway, what’s in that door?” He asked, walking up to it.

I quickly ran in front of him, “Don’t go in there!” I yelled out in a panic.

He jumped back and put up his hands. “Woah, woah! Why not?” He asked.

“I almost died in there. There are these.. hands, that come up from the floor. And blood all over the walls!”

His eyes widened, and he raised an eyebrow. He pushed me out of the way and opened the door.

It was locked.

He turned to look at me with an ‘Are you serious’ expression.

I scratched my head. “But..”

“I don’t know, Freeman. Maybe you need to wake up.”

I froze. What?

“What did you just say?” I asked.

“I said.. maybe you need to wake up and smell the roses. Shit’s going down, and we can’t be wasting time with a random locked door. Come on, let’s move!” He said, walking away from it.

That.. didn’t feel genuine.

“So, come on! We need ta save Equestria!” He exclaimed. His voice.. was higher. And more southern.

“What the fuck is ‘Equestria’? We need to save ourselves, not.. whatever the hell that is.” I said. What the hell is this guy going on about?

“So wake the buck up, Gordon!” He yelled.

“What are you talking about-!” I started to yell, but my vision went white for the second time in 10 minutes.

When my vision cleared, I saw that I was in a train car.

“Oh, good. He’s up.”

Author's Note

Involuntary dream sequence is a go. Surface tension bomb room was replaced with the Black Mesa version, because it’s cooler.

And the whole ‘Bloody hallways’ thing is a direct rip from Cry of Fear, and the guy that hit Gordon with a hammer is the enemy ‘Slower3’. Gotta make something scary, and it’s easier to just use pre-existing things when you have no talent. That’s the whole purpose of a crossover innit?

Jokes aside, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was pretty fun to write, and hopefully it was fun to read.

Title reference: The song of the same name.

Title significance: Rest, as in sleep. Dream chapter. Haha, I’m hilarious.

Whatever. And also, this chapters not late! Someone needs to tell me what fuckin time zone this website is on, because it sure as hell ain’t PST! I need to know when I can actually upload and when I can’t. This isn’t fair. Anyway...

Thanks for reading!

Phantom Express

Something dropped into the train cart, “I’m back-“

I didn’t let it finish as I smacked it over the head with my baton. It crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

I dropped the baton as I realized what.. or who it was. Gordon. I had attacked Gordon.

“Rainbow! What the buck was that?!” Spike yelled in a panic. “Why’d you attack him?!”

“Spike! Language.” Applejack scolded, but looked at me in confusion. “But why’d you hit ‘em, RD?” She asked.

Spike groaned. “I’m seventeen, Jack! Twilight let me start swearing, like, a month ago. But that’s off-topic. Rainbow, why’d you knock him out?” Spike looked over at me, disapprovingly.

I put up my hooves. “I didn’t mean to! I thought he was an alien! I didn’t bother taking any chances.” I explained myself.

He put a claw to his snout and rubbed it. “Okay, great. The only guy who knew anything about the aliens. Unconscious.” He whispered to himself.

I guiltily looked at the floor. “Sorry..”

Spike looked at me, groaning. “It’s fine, Rainbow. It’s about 24 hours until we get to Canterlot, so it’s not like it’s urgent that he wakes up or anything. Is he still breathing? You didn’t kill him.. did you?” His eyes widened as his pupils turned to pinpricks.

I gulped. Did I? Oh Celestia, I hope not.

I put an ear to his chest.

...nothing.

“Spike, I’m not hearing anything!” I yelled, panic slowly overtaking me.

He walked over and put a claw on Gordon’s neck.

“He’s fine.” Spike said, sighing in relief. I looked at him in confusion.

He saw my look and decided to explain. “Rainbow Dash, did you forget that you can just check for a pulse?”

...

“The little arteries in your body that can tell whether or not your heart is beating..?”

...

“Unbelievable. Look, everypony has arteries in this neck that, as stated before, allows you to feel for a heartbeat. The two most prominent ones are on your foreleg and on your neck. Since you can’t hear through the suit, I figured I should check his pulse.” He explained.

I nodded slowly. That didn’t make too much sense.. how can your heart be connected to your neck? Doesn’t make much sense. But then again, I slept through most of biology. So maybe I’m not the most accurate source of knowledge on the human/pony body.

..Maybe is stretching it.

...okay, maybe, kinda, I slept through all of biology.

Applejack landed on her haunches with an exhale. “So everythin’s fine? Nopony’s croaked? That’s nice, Ah’m going back to sleep.” She said, instantly passing out.

...impressive. How tired was she?

Spike lied down on the floor of the car. “Applejack has the right idea. Gordon.. Gordon’s fine. He isn’t bleeding. He might have a bad headache when he wakes up, and maybe a concussion.. but that suit administered morphine already, didn’t it?”

“Minor fracture detected.

Morphine administered.” The suit spoke up.

Spike snapped his claws, “There it is. Took a while, but thankfully there’s plot convenience and shoehorning.”

He put a hand behind his head and slowly drifted off, leaving me alone with the body.

That sounds bad. Leaving me alone with the.. sleeping kitten.

Yeah.

I lied back and tried to go to sleep myself, but I couldn’t. I felt.. bad. I hurt the poor guy. I probably fractured his skull..

I winced. No, he’s okay. He’s fine.

Yeah. He’s okay.

Now.. onto less important matters. Shouldn’t that one stop be coming up soon? The conductor usually always stops there to rest for a bit. After all, she’s been in the train all day, so I can understand. Ponyville isn’t the first stop, and it’s later in the day when she gets to it.

So it should be soon. That’s usually where the girls and I can get some snacks for the road, because you see, there’s this nice little shop nearby! You can get all sorts of organic snacks, and they’ve got the best iced tea you’ve ever tasted! I’m not usually a fan of tea, but I make an exception for this place.

So.. imagine my surprise when we drive right past it.

...maybe the conductor is stopping at the next one? There’s another one about a mile down, in case you missed the first one.

But after that, there isn’t another rest stop for a while.

...

We just passed the second one.

Is.. everything okay?

Oh.. wait.. alien invasion.

Is-is she okay?

Maybe I should go check.

...nah. She’s fine.

...

I opened the roof hatch and stepped on top of the train. Okay, this is stupid. But I need to make sure.

I climbed over to the next cart and entered the roof hatch. This one was an actual car, so there were seats and stuff. And while they should usually be occupied.. there was no pony in sight.

But as I dodged the claws of a zombie, I realized what had happened. It was occupied. The aliens just.. took it over. The sad truth for most of Equestria.

I pulled my baton back out and bashed the shit out of the zombie’s head. Once it stopped moving, I hit it one more time for good measure. I faced forward and hit a headcrab midair. Yeah! Nice!

I smiled to myself. Easy pickings, all of them.

A zombie charged me and I turned around. When it got close enough, I bucked it as hard as I could, causing it to fly into the wall on the opposite side of the train; which destroyed its head on impact. Brains sprayed all over the walls.

Okay, bad idea. I held back the bile threatening to rise in my throat. Nope, Rainbow Dash doesn’t throw up. Rainbow Dash can handle anything.

I took a deep breath, and continued moving. I opened the next cart and saw a houndeye.

WHIIIRRRRR..

“Just bum-rush ‘em and hope for the best!” Gordon’s words rang out in my mind.

I dashed over (pun intended) and kicked it with a foreleg. It stopped whirring, and I smashed it with the baton. When I finished with that, I quickly plugged my nose. Gordon didn’t tell us these things smelt rancid.

A lone tear escaped my eye.

I pressed on, dodging many-a flying headcrab. I stomped on them, quickly ending their lives because I didn’t want them to stick around long. God knows what they can do.

I opened the next cart and walked directly into a rope. I expected to just brush it out of the way, but it stuck to my hoof.

“What the Tartarus..?” I asked as the rope started to slowly pull upwards, bringing me with it. I looked up at what was pulling me and paled at the sight.

This.. thing with teeth was pulling the rope.

Actually, I don’t think this is a rope. It’s a little.. yellow.

I tried to pull my hoof away. I tried to grab onto anything. Anything at all.

I had grabbed a nearby seat, but it was doing nothing to stop the damn thing! I had to let go, else I risk my teeth being pulled from my jaw.

I started to hyperventilate. What do I do? What do I do?! I can’t just let it eat me, Rainbow Dash doesn’t give up!

But what do I do-

A-Ha!

I waited. I just waited.

When I got close enough, I shoved my baton into its mouth. It choked on the thing and finally let go of me. I fell to the floor unceremoniously, and the thing spit out a bunch of bones on me. I quickly stood up, wanting to get as far away from that thing as possible. I felt queasy looking at the bones, knowing that there had been other victims. I had escaped with my life.

Others hadn’t been so lucky.

Turning around, I instantly froze. There was another one right in front of me.

I walked around it, slow as a snail, not wanting to disturb it. I didn’t know if the tongue(?) could move or not, and frankly, I didn’t want to find out.

When I finally arrived at the door, I let out the breath I was holding and sucked in air. I slowly put a hoof to my chest, telling my heart to slow the heck down. It was beating at about a mile a minute.

Buck yeah! I did it!

I smiled to myself, but then got over my moment. Gotta keep moving.

I opened the door and smacked a headcrab midair. Bitch! Step OFF!

I stomped on it and kicked a nearby houndeye. I bashed its eyeball-orifice-thing in with my baton, and then bounced. I came to see the conductor, not to fight aliens. I can do this on my way back, I’m just wasting time!

I started to fly through each cart, getting closer and closer to the end goal. I would have to dodge the occasional headcrab and sonic boom, but I was on a good pace. I could make it there in record time since I was flying, which, obviously, I’m not normally allowed to do on the train.

I opened one last door, and saw her. The conductor.

She no longer had a head. It was just... gone.

She was leaking blood like a faucet, and I had to try my hardest not to puke right then and there.

But unfortunately, disgust won in the end.

Cough..OUGHHGGHHHHHH

splish...

OUYGGGGHHHHHHGGGGGGGHGGGAHHHHAHHH!! Cough..

SPLASH...

“Holy shit..” I muttered. I coughed some more and wiped my mouth clean, trying to spit out any remaining taste of acid.

It didn’t seem like it was going to go away too soon though, as is expected of vomit.

How much did I eat..? What did I eat?

I shook my head. That’s not important.

I walked up to the conductor and put a hoof on her withers. Or, what was left of them. She was pretty banged up..

I didn’t know you too well, Coal Brightness, but I did know you. And a loss of somepony close to me hurts. Always will.

“I’ll miss ya, dude.” I muttered.

I mourned the loss of the conductor for a little bit, only interrupted by the sounds of the aliens scratching on the door and the occasional rock hitting the train.

Speaking of the train..

Who’s gonna run the train? I can’t do it. I don’t know how these things work. Applejack definitely doesn’t know.. Spike might, he’s an egghead. Gordon?

He’s.. out of commission. Heh, heh.

My ears flopped down to my head.

I pursed my lips, and exited the conductor’s station.

When I was tackled to the ground by a houndeye, I had remembered at that very moment.. that maybe... leaving something behind isn’t the best choice when it’s a brutal, violent monster.

WHIRRRRRR

I looked around for a weapon. Anything good. Anything! My baton had been knocked out of my mouth when I fell. It’s way over there.

I noticed a quill just sitting there on the ground. It’ll have to do.

I grabbed it with my teeth and stabbed it into the.. eyeballs. It squealed and jumped off of me. I took the chance to run over, grab my baton, and then beat the heck out of the thing.

“You-!“ thwack

“Stupid-!” wham

“Son of a-“ THWACK

SPLURCH!

When it was nothing more than a few chunks on the ground, I ceased my incessant violence.

I stepped over it, and continued walking.

I slowly walked back to our cargo cart, beating to hell any alien that dared to still live. I didn’t realize I had zoned out until I was standing at the end of all the carts. No more doors, which means I need to go up.

I flew up to the trapdoor and opened it. The high wind forced it open all the way, and I crawled out. I closed it behind me and continued on my way. I almost jumped to the next cart, but even I knew that was a dumb idea.

I landed inside the train cart with a loud BANG and brushed myself off. There were some.. Uh, ‘chunks’ on me.

Spike bolted upwards at the loud noise, but both Gordon and Applejack slept soundly. Spike glared at me for interrupting his slumber.

“Oh, Spikey-Wikey..” I said, imitating Rarity. “Do you know how to stop a train?” I asked in my normal voice.

His eyelids lowered slightly, “Why..?”

“Uh, the conductor’s.. dead.” I said, nervously pawing the ground.

“She’s WHAT?!” He yelled out, standing up quickly.

I put a hoof over my mouth and rapidly shushed him, “Shshhshshsh!!! Don’t wake them up!” I whisper-yelled, pointing at AJ and Gord.

I looked to the two sleeping beauties and saw Applejack squirm, but stay asleep. Gordon didn’t move.

“Okay.. SHE’S WHAT??!!” He whisper-yelled. That’s better.

“She’s... dead. Aliens, you know. Which means that someone needs to stop the train when we arrive in Canterlot.” I explained.

He rubbed the bridge of his snout and sighed, “Okay, fine. I know how to stop a train. How far away are we from Canterlot?” He asked.

I blushed. “Uh, 22 hours?”

He groaned and fell to the ground.

“Uh.. is it.. red?” Spike asked. I shook my head.

“Is it a shape?”

I nodded.

“A circle?”

I nodded.

“Well, kinda-” I started to say, but he cut me off.

“Up bup bup! No, ‘Kinda’s in 20 questions.” Spike scolded.

“Right. Uh, no, it isn’t.” I admitted.

He nodded. “Is it a live being?”

I shook my head. He put a claw to his chin and began to ponder, I would guess.

“Is it a physical object?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Is it..” He looked out of the train window and over at a residential area. “A house?”

I shook my head, but motioned for him to continue.

He moved his tongue around inside his mouth, trying to figure out what to say.

“Is it.. a house for ponies?”

I shook my head.

“Damn, okay.. A house for.. animals?”

I nodded.

“A birds nest?”

I shook my head.

“A bee hive?”

I shook my head, but did the hoof motion for ‘Keep going.’

“A wasp hive!” He shouted out.

I nodded, grinning.

Spike jumped out of his chair. “Yes! I felt like I was never gonna get it.” He exclaimed.

He calmed down from his momentary high and sat back in the chair.

“Okay, I got it. Ask away.” He said, leaning back.

“Uh.. is it-“

CRASH!

I shot up instantly. What was that?

“Sounded like it came from the next.. cart... over...” Spike trailed off.

I looked at him. “Where Applejack and Gordon are resting..”

“SHIT!” We both yelled, and ran to reach the door. Spike got there first and flung it open, grabbing his bat.

Applejack froze in place, a soda can in her teeth.

She dropped it, causing it to hit the floor and puncture. It started spraying soda everywhere.

“Oh, it was just Applejack.” I pointed out.

Spike raised an.. eye. “Uh, AJ? You know you can just get up and grab one. You don’t have to act sneaky.”

She blushed, and looked down at the floor. “A-Ah know.. Ah was just havin’ a lil fun..”

Spike snorted. “Well, carry on.” He turned around, but stopped. He turned back around, “Hey, AJ? Is Gordon awake? We should be approaching Canterlot soon.” Spike asked.

We were? How long had we been playing twenty questions?

I walked over to my saddlebags and pulled out my pocket watch.

9:00 AM?!?

We left the station at like, 10:00 AM!

Yesterday!

I know the train windows are kept covered unless they’re uncovered by a pony... but did we seriously never check the windows?

And Sweet Celestia, AJ and Gordon can sleep for a long time.

“I mean, I can try.” Applejack said. Wait, what? What’d I miss?

She walked over to Gordon and thwacked his head.

“Applejack!” Spike raised his voice. She looked at him with a questioning look.

“His head is injured! Also, that’s no way to wake somepony up.” He groaned.

Applejack shrugged, and thwacked Gordon’s head again. “Hey, ya need ta wake up and smell the roses, bud.”

She bonked his head lightly. “Wake up, we have ta save Equestria!”

She bonked her head again. I walked over and joined in.

“Wake up.”

“Wake up.”

“Wake up!” We said at the same time. Spike walked over and joined in as well.

“WAKE UP!”

“WAKE THE BUCK UP, GORDON!” We all yelled at the top of our lungs. His eyes shot open and he looked around, noticing all of us and taking in the scene of the crime.

“Oh, good. He’s up.” Spike said non-chalantly.

“W..what happened?” He asked, putting a hand to his forehead. But then sighed, “God, how cliché.” He muttered.

They all looked at me. “Hey!” I yelled in protest.

“Rainbow Dash hit you over the head with her baton and knocked you out. Does your head hurt?” Spike asked.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. It’s killing me. Anyway, why would you do that, Rainbow?” He asked, more disappointed than mad. Yikes, that’s not the tone I wanted.

“Uh.. I thought you were an alien.” I admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of my neck.

“Ah, perfectly understandable.” He said, and stood up. He quickly lost his balance, but steadied himself with the chair.

He walked over and grabbed a bottle of water from the icebox. He gulped it down in record time, throwing the bottle behind his back. He grabbed another one and did the same thing.

That was.. impressive.

“So..” he said, grabbing a carrot. “What’s the dealio?” He took a bite of said carrot.

“We’re almost to Canterlot. It’s about an hour away.” I explained. He nodded, and finished off the carrot, tossing the weird brown part to a nearby trash can.

“Kobe!” He yelled out, and completely missed. “Damn it..” he muttered.

I snorted. He exaggerated a frown.

“Whatever. Unlucky shot.” He tried his best to make up an excuse.

“Sure, pal.”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“So... Anybody wanna play twenty questions?” He asked.

I grinned.

Author's Note

Get pranked. Rainbow Dash perspective. Bet you didn’t expect it, did you?

And this is getting back on my schedule. This chapter would have come out on the nineteenth, had I not misjudged the time.

Secret fun fact I only include sometimes: the original title of this chapter was “Upside, inside-out” but then I remembered that copyrighted song lyrics can get me banned so I changed it. I was going to use it because I was kinda turning you on your heads with the sudden perspective flip, right? Also because I was listening to that song at the time. But anyway, onto the actual title:

Title reference: Blood (1996). A level in that game is called ‘Phantom Express’ and you kill a bunch of zombies and cultists on it.

Title significance: RD battles a bunch of enemies while progressing through a train. Just like da game..!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had fun with it. And thank you again, for all the continued support. It means so much to me. I love y’all, from the bottom of my heart.

Tell me of any issues/problems. Grammar mistakes, etc.

Thanks for reading!

The City is not Safe

Spike put a claw on the acceleration lever, and looked out the windshield.

He waited.

I put a hand on his shoulder and looked with him.

“3...” I said.

“2..” Applejack continued.

“1..” Rainbow said.

“NOW!” We all yelled at the same time. Spike pulled back the accelerator, causing the train to start slowing down at a rapid rate.

I grabbed the chain and pulled it down, which made the train let out a loud whistle. The wheels squealed as the thing attempted to stop its movement. Canterlot station was rapidly approaching, and I worry we overshot the stopping time.

Fortunately, it was only by a little bit. The train stopped slightly after the destination.

Nobody spoke. Nobody took a breath.

And then we all started cheering.

“Yeah!!!” I yelled out, pumping my fists in the air. Spike hugged me tight and slapped my back, while RD started dancing in the air.

“Yeehaw!” Applejack yelled, jumping up on her hind legs.

We all celebrated some more, but eventually we regained our bearings. Spike let go, Rainbow stopped dancing, and Applejack readjusted her hat.

“Well.. lets get going.” I said, tossing open the door. I walked into the next train cart, and opened the exit door. I hopped onto the station platform and looked around.

Oh yeah.

Hell.

Can’t say it wasn’t expected.

I heard the others step off after me, and turned around.

“Okay, so.. why did we come here?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow..? He doesn’t have eyebrows.

Weird little detail.

No wait, getting off-topic. Why are we here.. why are we here.. right.

“Uh.. we have to go to Xen. Fight the big bad guy, you know? I’m assuming that the teleporter is somewhere in this city, considering it’s the biggest in the nation, correct?” I asked.

Spike nodded.

“Okay, yeah. Last time, I had to get someone to open a portal for me, but I DID find a couple random portals throughout Black Mesa. My guess is that there’s one here, as I stated before, and it’s the one that they all came from. It would only make sense that their main base of operations is in the big city, right?” I explained. They all nodded.

“Yeah, that makes sense. So.. where is it?” Rainbow asked, looking around.

“That.. is an excellent question.” I said, and began looking myself.

I felt discouraged because I didn’t find it immediately, but a saving grace came in the form of a young man’s voice.

“Is that it?” Spike said, pointing far off. I looked to where he was pointing and didn’t see anything.

“Spike, I’m too short.” I said. “I can’t see where you’re pointing.”

He’s at least 5 inches taller than I am. And I don’t think he remembered that fact.

He looked at me and his eyes widened. “Oh! Oh, yeah. Here.” He said, putting his arms under my armpits and pulling me up.

Well, this is degrading.

“Is the green thing the teleporter?” He asked, and I saw what he was pointing to.

“Yep, that’s it. But where is it?” I asked. It seemed to be on top of a building.

But what building, exactly?

“On top of the castle..” He muttered, sighing afterwards. “Well, this isn’t going to be easy. The damn place is probably crawling with guards. And if the weird behavior of those Ponyville guards is anything to go by, I assume they won’t be very friendly either.” Spike said in exasperation, setting me down.

Spike groaned with emphasis. “Alright, let’s go save the world..”

“Aw, chin up, Spike! It may seem a lil’ hopeless, but it’s never hopeless if ya got your friends with ya.” Applejack comforted him, putting a hoof on his shoulder. Or at least, she attempted to. Did I mention that he was tall?

“Thanks, Applejack.” He said, smiling slightly.

“Alright.. All in favor of going through this city, kicking ass and taking names?” I said, raising my hand.

Everyone else raised their hooves/claw.

“Alright! Let’s go. Spike, what’s the fastest way to get to the castle?” I asked. “And the least dangerous.”

Spike put a claw to his chin. I noticed that he did that when thinking. Odd habit, but it’s not like I don’t do the same thing sometimes.

“If we take.. a left at Sunlight boulevard, we can run through some nearby alleyways, which will drop us near Saxon Avenue. Follow that for a little bit and then take a right at Jule Street. That should put us right next to the castle gardens, which is an entrance we can take to get inside.” Spike explained, doing little motions with his claws. “That’s fast, and we can hide out in alleyways if we get in a bad situation.”

“Okay. That’s good, good idea. Let’s go, and try to keep it on the down low, everyone. If we go into this guns blazing.. we might not make it out with our guns empty. Understand?” I asked for confirmation.

RD looked away nervously, gulped, and nodded. Spike nodded, doing a thumbs-up. Applejack nodded quickly, seeming to want to answer before she second-guessed herself.

We’re a ragtag team of misfits, but we get shit done. No doubt.

“Now.. let’s go save the world.” I said, hardening my face.

Everyone stared, but then Rainbow started laughing. I instantly deflated.

“Hah- sorry, but heh! You were so giggle serious!” She choked out, doubling over in a coughing fit. I pat her back as she rode it out.

She stood back up, coughed one more time, and nodded at me. “Thanks.”

“Yeah..” I said, getting serious again.

She started to giggle once more.

“Alright, now, come on. Let’s actually get moving.” Spike said, chuckling.

We all ran off towards Sunlight Boulevard, not noticing the eavesdropping mare.

Her horn flared as she started a telepathic message.

“Hello, anypony on the guard?

The strange.. stallion? Is coming to the castle. You know, the wanted one. A dragon is with him, along with.. Rainbow Dash and Applejack?

I don’t know why they need to go to the castle, but it seems important to them. I don’t know what they’re planning. I recommend you prepare-“

A headcrab latched onto her face and she let out an ear-piercing shriek.

I hugged the wall with my back as I looked around the alley corner. Two guards stood there, oblivious to my presence. I turned to look at the group, and pulled out my crossbow to signify what was going to happen. They all nodded at the same time, as if it was choreographed.

I turned out slightly from the alleyway and lined up my shot with the iron sight, because there wasn’t a scope. I pulled the trigger and the projectile flew out at great speeds, piercing the neck of a guard. It went right through and was visible on the other side. Yikes.

The other guard started looking around for whoever did it, and I used that as an opportunity to get him too. Both were now bleeding out on the floor, arrows sticking from their necks.

I moved my hand in a movement that said “Continue on”, and we all kept walking; ducking into alleys whenever a royal guard showed his ugly mug.

We hadn’t encountered many aliens. My guess is that they were all already wiped out by the royal guard. They seem capable.

It definitely won’t last. That teleporter is still open, after all. I can see things falling out of it as we speak.

“In here!” Spike whispered, pushing me into another alley. He followed in with AJ and RD trailing behind. “We have to go through two more alleys and then we’re a little bit away from the gardens. We’re probably going to have to book it from there.” Spike explained, pointing to another alley. “There’s our next stop.”

I looked out of our current alleyway, and saw that the coast was clear. I nodded to the group and walked out, but instantly fell back inside when a guard walked out of a nearby store.

“Hey!” He yelled.

Shit!

He ran into our alley, but froze when he saw all of us.

He sweat-dropped and scratched his head nervously. “Uh, I’m just gonna go..”

He sped off.

“...unexpected, but not unwelcome.” I commented, and looked out of the alleyway again.

The coast was actually clear this time, except for a headcrab. I shot it, using my last arrow in the mag.

I pulled out the empty piece of metal and threw it to the ground. I pulled out an extra and popped it in, hitting it until I heard a ‘click’. I pulled back the loading mechanism and an arrow popped into place.

“Alright, you guys ready to rock and roll?” I asked. They nodded, and we sprinted to the alleyway.

We did the same scouting process, and ran to the final alley. The garden is right over there. The gate is wide open. That’s what I like to see!

But that’s not.

The damn place is infested. Zombie guards were everywhere, along with headcrabs and bullsquids.

I took a deep breath, and inconspicuously shot a zombie guard. The headcrab flew off its head and landed on the ground, while the body died. The headcrab turned around slowly and jumped at us. I didn’t have time to pull out my crowbar, so I attempted to shoot it midair. Bad idea, but it worked out. The damn thing flew back to the ground, arrow embedded in its skull.

“Nice shot!” Rainbow cheered.

Every zombie turned to look at us.

I glared at Rainbow and she shrunk down in shame. I groaned and pulled out my crowbar.

The first zombie charged and I thwacked it. Everyone else joined in and we beat the poor thing into the ground. The next one came by and we did the same process, but before we could kill it off another one showed up.

And then another.

And another.

“Fuck it, run to the gates!” I yelled. We can’t possibly take on all of these things.

They all dashed off towards it and I followed after them, not having been prepared for them to run off. I ran as fast as I could, but couldn’t avoid every attack. I fell to the floor as bullsquid mucus hit me right in the back.

“Warning: Blood toxin levels detected.”

Oh, right. This stuff is highly radioactive.

I quickly stood up but fell again when something swiped at my back.

“Minor lacerations detected.

Vital signs are dropping. Evacuate area.”

Thanks, suit! I’m trying!

I stood up and just fucking ran. I booked it. I think this is the fastest I’ve ever ran in my entire life.

“Come on, Gordon!” Spike yelled, standing inside the garden. He was situated behind a bird bath, while everyone else stood behind a statue a little ways away.

I dodged and weaved around plenty of the bastards, and jumped over a houndeye. I jumped over a sonic wave from a different houndeye, and ducked under a pair of zombie claws.

At this point, I was breathing very heavily. I was exhausted. I had been running around a ton for the past few hours.

But I can’t stop. Not now.

I stomped on one last headcrab, but tripped over a houndeye. It started to charge up, but I kicked the bastard like a football.

I entered the garden and quickly grabbed the gate. I slammed it shut, and grabbed a nearby padlock.

I locked it tight, and fell to the floor. I lied down on my back as I regained my lost energy.

“Tartarus yeah!” Spike yelled, running up to me. “Dude, that was so cool! They were all like ‘Rahhh’ and you were all like ‘Buck it, I’m running’ and you got hit! But you still kept going, and then got hit again! And you STILL kept going! Man, that was so bucking cool..” Spike trailed off. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Health: 60

Armor: 30

I clicked my tongue. I need a STIM-pac.. but I don’t think I’ll find any here. I need to be more careful in the future. Being reckless like that isn’t something I should be doing.

A stupid man is a dead man, and I didn’t attend college for years to earn a doctorate just to die stupid. I’m Doctor Gordon Freeman, damn it! I’m a physicist!

I leaned on my crowbar as I stood up, and looked around at the place I was in. Wow.. this is a really nice garden.

There were plenty of flower beds around, filled to the brim with.. whatever flowers those are. I ain’t no damn botanist. There was a big hedge-maze to my right, and to my left there was another one. They seem to be connected. Two bird baths sat near the gate, parallel to each other.

And right smack-dab in the middle was a large statue, featuring two ponies with the same features as Princess Twilight. Wings and a horn.

I assume these are Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Both are lightly smiling, yet still carried an air of authority.

Beautiful statue.

I put my crowbar back on the hook and turned towards the group.

“So.. how do we get to the teleporter?” I asked Spike, cutting him off.

“Hm? Oh! There’s an entrance right over there. It goes into the kitchen, and then from there we just have to climb a few sets of stairs and go through a few doors. We should arrive at the spire, and then we can climb outside a window and walk up a set of stairs that’ll lead us to the roof.” He looked back at the zombie crowd. “But I doubt it’s gonna be that easy.” He whispered.

“Wazzat?” I asked.

“I said..” Spike cleared his throat, “I doubt it’s gonna be that easy. Place is probably filled to the brim with guards and aliens.”

I rubbed a hand along my face and sighed. “Yeah, yeah it is. Alright, let’s get this over with.” I pulled out my crossbow and held it in one hand. In the other, I held the crowbar.

Both are useful, and I’d rather NOT need one and have it than need one and not have it.

“Wait, can’t I just fly you all up there? Yeah, I can. I’ll go up and take out anything standing in the way-“ Rainbow started flying up, but I grabbed her tail.

“Nope! Don’t go up there! Don’t go ANYWHERE NEAR the portal!” I yelled. Oh, yikes. Shouldn’t have yelled. Seemed a little aggressive there, Gordon.

“What?! Why?!” She yelled, squeaking in protest. She stopped trying to fly away when she realized I wasn’t letting go.

“The portal is VERY radioactive. Incredibly so. I don’t know what’ll happen to you if you get close. I know I said that we were all going to go to Xen, but after some further thought, I don’t think that’s possible. You guys don’t have HEV suits.” I explained, letting go of her tail. She started to rub her flank in exaggeration.

“What’s radio-active?” She asked. Applejack nodded with her, as did Spike.

Seriously? Do they not.. they have MICROWAVES!

I rubbed my nose. I’m getting a headache.

“It’s poisonous. Bad. If you’re exposed to radiation for too long, you’ll probably experience a horrible, painful death.” I explained.

Her eyes widened and her pupils shrunk. “What?” She squeaked.

“Yeah. Avoid it. Don’t worry, my suit has a built-in Geiger counter. I’ll tell you if we encounter any radiation, okay?” I said. She nodded slowly.

“Good!” I clapped my hands together. “Now that that’s dealt with.. let’s infiltrate a high-security royal living chamber. Fun.” I frowned. Why does it have to be on top of the castle?

Seems counter-productive. Half of the aliens will just fall off and fucking die, so what’s the point?

These aliens are.. dumber than I thought.

I walked up to the door to the castle and pulled the handle.

ChkChkClick!

Locked.

I pulled out my crowbar and smashed in the doorknob.

“Open-!” WHAM

“Up-!” SMASH

“You-!” THWACK

“Bastard!” SHATTER!

I kept beating it to hell, until there wasn’t a doorknob anymore.

I turned back to the group, smiled, and pushed the door open. “After you, ladies.” I said, moving out of the way.

Spike lightly punched my arm, and I chuckled.

They all walked inside, and I followed. I shut the door behind me, but it just opened back up. Right, destroyed handle.

The kitchen was really nice. Expected of royalty, after all. There were about 15 fridges sitting around, all presumably carrying different things. There were many mixers, ovens, stoves etc; and there was a nice, big island in the middle. What for? Well, anything! The option’s there.

Oh, but right now, it’s the bed for a zombie. A couple crowbar/baton/frying pan/baseball bat thwacks took care of that problem.

Spike wiped a little blood off his cheek. “So, we just need to go that way.” Spike said, pointing to a large archway. “That’s the way out of the cafeteria.”

Just then, the roof caved in. Blocking our exit.

“Oh, cool.” Spike said, his expression deadpan.

Cool!

Cool.

Author's Note

Alright, FUCK IT. Chapters every 3-4 days instead of every 3 days. It’s still September 22nd for me! But because this website runs off some shit EU time, I don’t know when this is actually coming out. So you know what? 3-4 days. Oh well.

Anyway.. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I found it rather.. average, to write. Not too fun, not too boring.

title reference: Cry of Fear, chapter 3 title name.

(Wow, IANDB really is obsessed with that game isn’t he?) Yeah. The hyper-fixation chose that game for me.

Title significance: The city they are in is not safe. Wow, genius.

Whatever! I hope you enjoyed. Please leave feedback, any and all helps! Tell me of any mistakes. And...

Thanks for reading!

Claustrophobia

Spike hit the floor with a grunt.

He stood back up, hopped back on the pile of shit, and started climbing again. He climbed up a little, but misstepped and fell back down.

“I don’t think this is gonna work.” I said, doing the exact same thing.

Spike huffed, “Well, to quote the great philosopher Noble Stead, ‘A stallion who does not try is one who is doomed to fail.’ So, yeah!” He said, closing his eyes and crossing his arms, imitating a child.

I smirked. “That quote is really lame. Guy couldn’t think of anything better than that?” I voiced my opinion.

“Well, no, mostly because I pulled the whole thing out of my ass.” Spike explained, jumping back on the pile.

I shook my head, “Clown.”

Why are we jumping on a pile? Well, there’s a tiny little crawl-space up at the top of this pile of debris. If one of us can make it up there, we can bring the others up and all crawl through. But so far it hasn’t been working very well.

I landed right on my back, getting the wind knocked out of me. Damn it, it really did become a habit!

I was about to jump right back on but then I froze, hearing a voice.

“Hey, fellers, I found one of them vents!” Applejack yelled.

Well, that’s good news. I had asked them to look out for anything that could get us out, and I mentioned vents. So good on her.

I jumped off the pile and ran to her. “Where is it?” I asked.

She pointed a hoof to a grate, that of which was rather high off the ground.

“Sweet! That’s what I like to see, AJ!” I exclaimed, putting out my hand for a high-five. She returned the gesture in kind.

“Hey! Spike! Get your fat butt over here and gimme a boost!” I yelled. He nodded, and ran over to us. He got on his knees, put out two claws, and nodded.

I stepped on them and he lifted me up. I jammed my crowbar into the metal bars and pulled, but it wasn’t moving. It was screwed into the wall. Going for plan B, I pulled back and smacked it as hard as I could with the crowbar. It shattered almost instantly, allowing me entry. I climbed inside, immediately shivering at the cold temperature.

“Okay, I’m gonna see what’s on the other side, and then enter back in and pull you all inside. That work?” I asked, turning my head back slightly.

“Yeah, just hurry up!” Spike yelled back, voice slightly muffled.

“Gotcha.” I muttered, itching my nose.

I flicked on my flashlight and crawled through the claustrophobic passage. Not that I have claustrophobia; I’m actually quite used to crawling through vents. Whenever Dr. Kleiner would get locked out of his office, me and Barney would race to see who could get inside first. But the thing is, Barney didn’t know about this one vent that I could use to get in. So, I always won.

I smiled slightly in remembrance, but then got back on track. Right, gotta see where this leads.

I continued moving through the air vent, and eventually did a full stop when I came across a grate. I pull my crowbar back out and pulled it with one hand, while grasping it with the other. Like.. a catapult? Building up pressure to do more damage. I let it go and it thwacked into the metal bars, doing slight damage. I do this one more time and the thing collapses.

I pop out of the vent and into what seems to be a... hallway. There’s a set of stairs at the end of one side, and a fork at the other.

“Okay. This looks good. Spike mentioned stairs, right? And there doesn’t seem to be any-“

I dodged a flying headcrab.

“Scratch that.” I said, smashing it with my crowbar.

I turned around and quickly hopped back into the vent.

“Okay, uh...” I snapped my fingers a few times, “Right. Gotta get everyone else in here.”

I crawled back to the main room and popped my head out of the vent.

“What up?” I asked. They all turned to look at me.

“The ceiling.”

Hah. Hah.

I smiled slightly, as did Spike. “Everything okay on that side?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. There might be an alien or two, but it’s probably nothing we can’t handle.”

He nodded.

I nodded once more.

Applejack nodded.

RD nodded.

We all nodded.

..And then we all started chuckling.

“That was silly.” Applejack muttered, trying to stifle her giggles.

“Yeah. Yeah it was. So anyway,” I said, straightening my face. “Who goes first?”

“Well, I think I should go first because-“ Rainbow started, but Spike cut her off.

“Bros before hoes.” Spike said simply.

I clicked my tongue. “Rules are rules, ladies.” I said, and let out my hand.

“What?!” Rainbow and Applejack yelled in unison.

Me and Spike giggled like idiots.

Spike grabbed my hand and I used all of my scientist strength to pull him up. He grabbed the vents edge and was able to pull himself up the rest of the way.

“No offense, but you’re pretty heavy.” I said, trying to catch my breath. That took a bit out of me.

“None taken. I’m a dragon, after all. We’re not really known for being light as a feather.” He shrugged.

Yeah, he’s right. Although, it’s not like I can make a comparison. I’ve never met another dragon, let alone held one. No human has.

But.. does that really mean anything? I’m pretty sure no other human has seen talking ponies, or alien overlords, or climbed through a vent in a castle owned by two horses with unicorn horns and wings, but you know. Semantics.

Again, probably not using that word correctly.

“Uh, Gordon? You gonna get moving?” Spike asked.

Hm? Oh.

“Oh, shit. Sorry, zoned out there.” I explained.

“Happens.” Spike said. We were interrupted when we heard someone speak up.

“You guys making out in there or something?!” Rainbow yelled. I blushed at her accusation, but furrowed my brow.

“Says the pony with a pride flag on her head!” I yelled.

“SAY THAT AGAIN! I DARE YOU!” She yelled angrily.

“She’s pissed! Let’s go let’s go!” I exclaimed, crawling back rapidly, laughing like a stupid teenager. Spike laughed with me as we fell out on the other side.

“Ow, hehe shit!” Spike said, holding his side. He seemed to have a poor landing.

“You chuckle alright there?” I asked, standing up.

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good. Heh, man, that was funny. Alright, I’m gonna go get the others.” I said, and jumped back in the vent. I crawled out on the other side to see a smiling Applejack and a miffed Rainbow.

“Who’s next?” I asked.

“Me.” Rainbow Dash said through clenched teeth.

I sweatdropped. “Okay.”

I let out my hand, but pulled it back when I realized something.

“Hey, wait! You have wings!” I yelled. Her eyes widened and she looked at her back.

“Oh, yeah.” She whispered.

“How could you forget?!” I yelled, more exasperated than angry. “This whole time.. you could’ve entered the crawlspace!” I pointed to the pile of debris.

She rolled her eyes, “No, dude. I couldn’t. I told you I couldn’t. I went up there and it was too small for me to squeeze through. Do you not recall?”

I began thinking back on it.

“Hey, Gordon. That space is way too small for me to fit inside. I wouldn’t recommend trying to get to it.” Rainbow said, landing next to me.

“Yeah, got it.” I said, not really paying attention.

Rainbow Dash sighed, and started looking for another exit.

Oh yeah.

“Oh my god, you’re a bucking idiot..” she muttered, putting a hoof to her forehead.

“I resemble that remark.” I quipped. She connected the dots in her head and smiled at my joke. Good sign.

“Okay, now can you actually fly up here? Or is your wing broken?” I asked. She nodded and flew up, while I crawled backwards.

While we crawled back, she decided to explain why she forgot about her wings, “I’ve been walking a lot recently. Twilight told me that I should exercise every part of my body instead of just one, so I’ve gotten used to walking more. Guess the whole ‘wings’ thing slipped my mind. Sorry.” Rainbow explained, grinning sheepishly.

“Eh, don’t worry about it. Not like it would’ve changed anything. Your flying hasn’t really been a necessary skill on this journey.” I replied.

She shrugged.

I fell out of the vent and landed on my ass once more. Ow. Rainbow hopped out and walked over to me, putting out a hoof. I grabbed it and stood up.

“Alright, be right back.” I said, and jumped back inside.

I crawled back, let out my hand, and Applejack grasped it with a hoof.

Again.. how are they doing that? Hooves can’t grip things. Unless there’s some mysterious hoof grip thing I don’t know of, I think this is just magic shenanigans. Or plot convenience. Maybe both.

I pulled her up and into the vent. I began crawling backwards, as she began crawling forwards. I was getting a little better at this.

“Thank ya kindly, Pardner.” She said, tipping her hat.

“Yeah.” I said, and popped out on the other side.

I landed on my feet this time! Improvements. Applejack fell out herself, and nearly slammed headfirst into the floor. Well, nearly.

“Woah!” Spike yelled, grabbing her. She yelped, and Spike slowly righted her.

Had Spike not been there, that would’ve been pretty disastrous.

“You alright there, AJ?” He asked. She nodded.

“Thanks, Spike.” She says, wiping her forehead. “Gosh, I almos’ took a major hit there.”

“Thankfully not.” I said. The group nodded. “Okay, so.. do we go upstairs, or do we see what’s down those hallways?” I asked, pointing to each location respectively.

Spike put a claw to his chin. Yep, there it is.

“Upstairs. I don’t know where that hallway leads, and frankly, I don’t wanna find out.” Spike wiggled his hands nervously.

“Okay.” I said, and turned to face the staircase.

Nobody moved.

“Well what are we waiting for? Come on, we have a world to save!” I exclaimed, pointing to the door at the top of the stairs. They all kicked into overdrive and started moving.

I took a step onto the staircase, and then another.

I walked up the stairs.

But it was cool, because I was convicted and determined.

I grasped the door handle with all 5 fingers, and slowly turned it. It opened up and I pushed forward. The door swung wide open, allowing me entry to the next room.

I immediately ducked under a crossbow bolt.

“Cease fire! He has the two civilians!” Someone yelled, presumably a captain of the guard. Hell yeah, they’re back.

The military sure does hate me, I’ve noticed.

I quickly shut the door, turning to the others. “What do we do?” I asked.

I looked around for a convenient solution. I can’t go in there, guns blazing. That’s stupid as fuck.

If I was still in Black Mesa, I could use a grenade. But I don’t have one. I don’t think they even exist here..

Time seemed to slow down.

”For one.. play-coin I can- give you a grenade.”

That god-damn suited asshole. Why does he keep talking? Showing up?

And WHY does he KEEP TALKING NONSENSE?!

He’s helping me. Why is he helping me? He never did that before.

”Well, I kind of-like this place... I wish to see you-succeed.”

Bullshit. That’s bullshit.

Whatever.

‘How many.. uh, coins do I have?‘ I thought.

“One.”

“Just gimme the damn grenade.” I muttered. I felt something materialize in my hand, and there it was. Time resumed.

“Oh, Gordon! Where’d you get the grenade? That’s really useful!” Spike said, pointing to the bomb in my hand.

I stared at it, but eventually looked up at him.

“I...I don’t care.” I sighed. “But yeah, it’s useful. Let’s do this.”

I pulled the pin, and waited.

“What are you doing?! Get rid of it or you’ll kill us all!” Rainbow yelled. I looked at her, and pointed to my hand.

“The grenade cannot explode if the hammer is still in place. The pin being pulled isn’t what triggers the countdown, it’s this little metal part.” I said, pointing to the (seemingly useless) piece of metal that my finger held in place.

Her eyes widened slightly. “Woah, neat.”

“Yeah, so, let’s do this.” I kicked open the door.

“Throwing a frag!” I yelled, and wound up my arm. I faked a throw and they all dropped to the floor.

I then casually tossed it in, near where they were all hiding. I closed the door quickly and heard a large explosion soon after, followed by the screams of many ponies.

“Flush ‘im out!”

I panicked as the grenade flew from up from below, and landed right in front of me. Thinking quickly, I kicked it back to whence it came. It blew up in midair and all I could hear over the ringing in my ears.. were screams. The screams of people. Poor people.. that I just killed. People just. Doing. Their. Job.

As I was.

I don’t want them killing me over the resonance cascade.. so why am I killing them over practically the same thing?

They didn’t ask to be roped into this. This is the fault of Black Mesa. Of ME. Not them.

And.. here I am. Just brutally.. attacking them. Violently killing these people. People with lives. People with families-

“Gordon!” Spike yelled, snapping his claws in front of my face.

My eyes widened as I snapped out of my stupor. “Huh? What?” I asked.

Applejack took off her hat, “You okay there, Son? Once the grenade wen’ off.. ya wen’ quiet. Ya shivered, and it looked like you were about to break down. Is everythin’ okay?” Applejack asked, putting a hoof on my shoulder. I only then realized that I was on my knees.

Standing up, I brushed myself off. “I’m okay. Nothing to worry about.. Come on, let’s go. You get.. you get used to it.” I whispered that last part.

The group looked at each other, concern present in their expressions.

I opened the door back up and surveyed the destruction. A big piece of the floor was destroyed, and bodies were strewn about the room. Any stragglers were clearly not going to be moving anytime soon, so it allowed a clear passage through. I have respect for the dead, but.. not enough respect to not steal their ammunition.

I put the extra magazines in my holder, and continued walking. I opened the door at the end of the room and saw that it lead to a two-way split hall. We can go left or right.

I looked around both corners, and after seeing that the coast was clear, told the others to leave the room.

“So.. left or right.” I asked.

“Left.” Applejack said, not missing a beat.

I turned left and began walking that way, the group following. The hallway was simple in design; white corridors with some tapestries on the wall, maybe a few standing drawers, some ugly paintings. Nothing too fancy, but fitting for a castle. I noticed that the lights in the ceiling aren’t actually lightbulbs or anything, they seem to be stationary flames. That’s really cool. I wonder how they- magic. They did it with magic.

Just ruin any sense of wonder, why don’t you.

I reached the end of the hallway, and was at another crossroad. Left or right.

“Spike, do you know where we should go?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t. I know what staircases to take, but I haven’t memorized the layout of this place. I did at one point, but that was years ago, when I actually needed it. I don’t know where we are. There are maps of the interior placed about the castle, but until we find one.. we’re lost.” Spike explained.

I nodded. “Okay. Well, let’s just.. find a map?”

“Find a map?” Spike said, imitating my questioning tone. “Why was that a question? Yeah, we’re doing that.”

I frowned.

Celestia forced her wings into a stationary position, in order to slow her acceleration. The wind pushed back against her body as she slowed down rapidly. She liked to imagine the squealing of brakes as this happened, but now was not the time for jokes.

She put out a hoof to stop her sister, who had done the same as her.

She watched as a giant.. manta-ray, thing.. flew through the air. She held her breath as it passed in front of her harmlessly, apparently not seeing her. She exhaled, relief flooding through her body. She needed to pay more attention to her surroundings, or she could become mush on the road.

“Well, let us continue, Sister.” Princess Luna said, starting to fly again. Celestia followed suit.

They had to get back to Canterlot. This sudden invasion was not something she appreciated, and she needed to give everypony hope. Well, that’s what she wished to do.

In her castle, she has a large satellite that can be used to telepathically communicate to everybody on the planet. Yes, you heard that correctly. Everybody will hear her voice.

This can lead to bad relations with the dragons, griffons, etc, which is why she never, ever uses it. But this is a national emergency.

This isn’t something that friendship can solve, or the elements. These creatures.. they’re mindless. They don’t have the brain capacity to understand pony speech, griffon speech, anything. It’s like they were made to harm. Made to.. kill.

So.. she didn’t have much of a choice. She had to kill a few on her way out of Griffonstone. It took a lot of will to do so.. but she had to.

And she needed to tell her little ponies the solution.

She.. she needed to tell them. To kill. To kill these creatures. To not let them get close.

She saw what those tiny ones can do to somepony. Turn them into a mindless.. beast!

An innocent pony had their life taken away, and they couldn’t even have it done peacefully. They were a monster in their last moments.

She could not fathom why anypony would do something like this. To.. attack, with such forces. She needed to find out who it was.

And judging by a letter Twilight sent her..

The one who did this.. was a Free Man.

Author's Note

Title reference: claustrophobia - fear of tight, cramped places

Title significance: vent

Thanks for reading! I had fun with this chapter. I was kinda just able to bang it all out in two sessions, which is pretty good for me. I didn’t really have to do any padding for word count this time either, so that’s good.

Please tell me of any mistakes, and..

Thanks for reading!

Alone Again... Unnaturally.

I stared at the wall with a blank look.

“What the buck does this mean??” Rainbow yelled, wings flaring.

I’m right there with ya, sister.

Spike rubbed his forehead with a closed fist, “Uh.. I think we go... that way.” He said, pointing down a nearby hallway.

“Ya think or ya know?” I asked.

The hallway didn’t look.. intimidating, or anything. I just didn’t wanna be wandering around the castle for hours while the world turns to manure.

“I know.” Spike replied, nodding.

This map is no good. It’s the worst map I’ve ever laid eyes on.

It wasn’t a simple ‘Oh you’re here, your destination is over here’. No. It decided to be special. Everything is color coded (badly), and THIS map isn’t even for THIS floor! Or maybe it is, I don’t know. It doesn’t tell us where we are!

It’s like it was designed by a foal.

I looked in the corner and saw the nameplate.

‘Map of Canterlot Castle’ Designed by Aqua Marine Jr.

Age: 13

Surely they’re bluffing. SURELY... surely the Princess didn’t commission a map from a thirteen-year-old. Or just hang up some fan art..

But.. I respect it. When I was thirteen I was thinking about stallions and bucking apples.

And I mean.. I had experience with one of those things. I gotta hoof it to the kid.

BUT I AIN’T DOING IT BECAUSE OF HIS GOOD WORK! Nope. Bad work, dummy. I hope your harvest isn’t plentiful this coming fall.

That’s harsh. No it isn’t, buck you.

Oh wait, they’re leaving without me.

“Hey, wait up y’all!” I called out. They slowed down slightly and turned around, waving me over.

Rumble....

I froze.

A piece of the ceiling fell and landed right next to me.

I yelped, and began hauling it down the hallway as more pieces fell. The others had began running too, but they were still looking back at me with concern every now and again. How nice of them. Doesn’t help me too much though!

I rolled out of the way of a falling chunk, but then jumped back as a ginormous amount landed right in front of me, blocking the exit and me off from the group.

The rumbling ceased, and the ceiling stopped falling.

“Applejack! Are you okay?!” I heard Gordon yell from the other side. I also heard several ‘Bang’s so I’m guessing he was trying (and failing) to break it open.

“Ah’m fine!” I shouted back. “Just.. gonna have to find another way around. Again.”

“Okay.. uh.. we’ll meet up again, right?” Spike asked.

“Ah’m darn sure of it!” I yelled.

“..yeah. Look, find a way out. Go see if that map is worth a damn. I’ll see you later, AJ. Stay safe.” Gordon finished off.

“O’ course.” I said, and turned around.

I trotted back to the map and frowned when I saw the state of it. Half of it was scraped off the wall; as if it had been a simple sticker. I.. don’t doubt that it was.

“Buck it.” I muttered, and continued on the only path available to me. Down the hall I go.

I hopped over a piece of the ceiling but my hoof clipped the edge of it and I slammed face-first into the floor.

“Why do Ah even bother?” I asked out loud.

I slowly stood back up, shaking my head. I sighed, and began trotting down the hall once more. After rounding a corner, my muzzle touched a rope.

I pulled back, but I was stuck. I looked up and gaped in horror at what I saw.

It was.. something. It looked like a barnacle, but it had teeth! Sharp, razor sharp, teeth!

And it was pulling me up. To.. eat..

Panic started to set in as I turned around to reach my saddlebags. I didn’t even bother with the clips, I just ripped the sides open. My pan fell out, but I caught it before it could fall out of reach.

I looked back up at the thing and waited. It kept pulling me up, and I brought my head back. When I got close enough, I let out a grunt as I smashed it as hard as I could. It immediately let go and began choking.

I fell to the floor roughly. The thing soon spitting up several.. bones. Of other ponies, I presumed.

I swallowed the small amount of puke, and shook my head. It’s just decorations. Nightmare Night decorations. Not real ponies.

I nodded slowly. Yeah, yeah. Just decorations.

I exhaled as I looked up from the pile. I investigated this new hallway, and found that this one was blocked off too. Great.

So.. I’m at a dead end. Nowhere to go. The other way is blocked off, and this way is too. Unless I can find.. another vent.

That might work.

I took off my hat to get a better view of my surroundings. Darn thing was getting in the way.

After searching for a few minutes, I let out a quiet ‘ah-hah!’ As I found exactly what I was looking for. A vent! Hopefully it leads somewhere good.

Only problem, however, is that it’s really high on the wall. I can’t reach that thing.

But seeing the barnacle rope that hung in front of it gave me an idea.

I put my pan in the other (not ripped) saddlebag, and took it off my barrel. I set it down as I walked over to a pile of debris. I picked up a rather large chunk in my hoof and walked (albeit awkwardly) to the vent. Carefully avoiding the barnacle, I chucked it right at the grates. They shattered on impact.

I let out a whoop as I grabbed my bags and put them back on. I took the pan back out and jumped right into the barnacle’s rope.

Let’s hope this works.

I waited until the right time, and at the last moment, I smacked it with the pan. It let me go and I started falling.

Come on.. I got one chance.

I stuck my hooves inside the vent, grabbing on. I let out a yelp as I felt one of my joints dislocate.

A tear rolled out of my eyes as I pulled myself inside, trying my hardest to ignore the pain.

“Come on AJ.. be strong.. be strong-!” I yelled, and put the bone back into place. I gasped as the pain hadn’t registered yet.

But as soon as it did, I was shrieking. Good mother of Granny-! That hurt like the dickens!

I pursed my lips tightly as I held back another squeal. I waved my hoof around, trying (and failing) to quell the pain.

It went away quickly, leaving only minor stinging. I wiggled my hoof around, glad to have full motion again.

I sighed, and crawled further into the vent. There weren’t any light sources in here, so it was pitch darkness. Great. I relied entirely on my sense of touch to maneuver me through the enclosed space.

At least, until something jumped directly into my face and latched on. It was one of those Celestia-damned crabs!

I yelled as I banged my head into the floor, hoping to get the gross thing off of me. It was on there tight, and I could feel myself getting weaker. But I couldn’t let this thing win.

With one last headbutt, my hardest one yet, it shattered into little giblets.

I had killed it.

I had saved myself.

I breathed deeply as I began to slowly giggle. I did it! I lived! Nopony else could, but I did! So many others fell victim to those things.. but I didn’t!

Thank Faust for the close proximity of this vent.. I wouldn’t have made it in any other situation.

I rid my eyes of any stray tears, and began to crawl once more. I can’t believe.. Applejack, you crazy pony. You really did that.

After crawling for a while longer, I was suddenly stopped. I couldn’t turn, and I couldn’t go forward. A dead end. Lovely!

I brought my hoof up, but noticed that I could.. bring my hoof up.

I looked up and felt around, noticing that it opened above me.

Bingo.

I awkwardly shuffled to.. stand, and climbed up into the next part of the shaft. It was.. like the lowercase letter ‘R’, I guess. I wiggled my way through the tighter space and pulled myself up. Once I got myself situated, I took notice of the grate on the other end. With light coming from it. A way out!

At speeds I didn’t think achievable while crawling, I moved to get to the grate. I took out my frying pan once I reached it and bashed it to high Tartarus. The bars collapsed and I crawled out and onto the floor, landing on my stomach roughly. But I didn’t care. I was out of the darkness. I could see-!

“Get her!” I heard somepony yell, before being grabbed my multiple hooves.

“What the hay-!” I yelled and tried to escape, but something blunt hit the side of my head.

And all I saw was black.

“There we go, that’ll do it.” Captain Golden Shephard said, tossing his spear to the side.

“Why do we need her again?” Private Mountain Rush said, holding the orange pony.

“Ransom, my boy. This is one of the ponies that was with that ‘Freeman’ fellow. He must care about her, right? The plan is to get him to give himself up by using her as a form of.. bait.” The Captain said.

“But.. isn’t that immoral?” The Private said, shuffling awkwardly. She was kinda heavy.

“You wanna talk about immoral?” Golden said, taking out the cigar from his mouth and stomping on it. “That ‘Freeman’ guy killed an entire room of my men! With one grenade! We’re lucky to have gotten out of it unscathed, Private. He’s gonna get what’s coming to him.”

The Private looked behind himself nervously. “Okay, Sir.”

Golden nodded, taking out another cigar and lighting it.

“O’ course.” I heard from the other side of the wall. I turned to the group and they seemed to be stunned in shock.

“Hey, everyone okay?” I asked, snapping my fingers. Their eyes widened and they both shook their heads. Synchronization, activate!

“Y-yeah. I just hope Applejack is gonna be okay.” Spike muttered.

“She’ll be fine, she’s tough. Now, let’s get going.” I said, and began walking. But nobody followed.

“Why.. why do you not care?” He asked. I perked up and turned around, shocked at his words.

“Of course I care.” I replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Sure seems like it, Gordon!” He said, voice raising. “‘She’s tough’ Yeah, because one pony can just take on guards, and aliens, and live because THEY’RE TOUGH! I’m sick of you, Gordon. You’re so damn nihilistic!” He yelled. “This whole adventure.. you’ve just been so indifferent to it. Like it’s just another thing you have to deal with. Like this is the average day in the life of Gordon bucking Freeman. You don’t care. You just.. keep cracking jokes! Oh, haha, look at me I’m the funny stallion! Everypony around me is dying, but oh, gotta have commentary!” Voice cracking on that last line, he fell to his knees. “Applejack is going to die. And your first response is ‘Let’s get going.’ What the buck, Gordon?”

A tear fell down his face, and Rainbow put a hoof on his shoulder, glaring at me.

I sighed.

“I’m.. not.. indifferent, to it. Look.. Spike.. I’m fucking terrified.” I chuckled.

“Sure seems like it.” Rainbow muttered.

“Rainbow.. I’m scared out of my mind. You have no idea how truly scared I am. For us. For the world, for Applejack. For Cheerilee. Because you know, what can one pony do? Or two? Or three or four?” I asked. They were both looking at me now.

“They can do a whole fucking lot. But.. that’s besides the point. Look.. I don’t really do the whole ‘emotions’ thing. During my time in Black Mesa.. I didn’t say a word. I was too shocked to do anything except.. live. Survive. I had taken to just cracking jokes in my head. Little comments. They just.. kept me sane. Hey, you know, if I could make a situation funny.. it’s less traumatic, right?” I asked, my own voice cracking. “This is fucked up. All of it. But the best thing to d-do is to just.. move. Keep moving. We’ll get there eventually. It always works out in the end-”

A stray tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away.

“Right?” I asked.

Spike blinked, and wiped his eyes before letting a small smile onto his face. “Yeah.. you’re r-right. It.. it does always work out in the end.” He nodded to himself, standing back up.

“Applejack is gonna be okay.” He muttered.

“Of course she is.” I said, freezing for dramatic effect.

“She’s tough.” I finished.

They both grinned.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was going mad.

She couldn’t find Spike. Nopony could. She didn’t know where he went. Freeman wasn’t in Ponyville anymore, and they couldn’t find Rainbow Dash or Applejack. So Spike, AJ, and RD are all gone.. while a suspicious individual is roaming free.

She knows about the plan. The journal Spike kept about what he was going to do on the day of the supposed ‘invasion’ but she didn’t want to believe it. She didn’t want to believe that her baby brother was running off to try and save the world with a.. creepy old man!

Was he a creepy old man? How old was Gordon?

WHY DOES IT MATTER?!

Spike’s gone. So is Rainbow. So is Applejack.

She thinks she knows where they went, but she doesn’t want to believe it. As stated previously. She doesn’t want to think about the fact that her friends and brother were.. killing these things.

She knows how to take them out. Trust her, she knows. Since the elements aren’t together, and the creatures can’t talk.. measures had to be taken. It was her last resort, and she felt awful about it. She can only imagine what kind of mind poison that Freeman bastard is giving them.. to get them to be okay with KILLING!

“Princess!” Somepony yelled, busting through the doors.

She stared, bleary-eyed at the new face. “Yes?” She choked out.

The stallion sweatdropped. “Uh, Freeman was spotted in Canterlot.. with Spike, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.” He explained.

Twilight scowled. “Did they take him out?” She asked, eye twitching.

The stallion shook his head nervously. “Uh, no.. they failed. He got inside the castle.”

Twilight growled and punched a nearby wall.

The crystal cracked.

Her mane turned fiery and she flew out of the window, causing the first ever Sonic Rainboom.. Twilight edition.

She was going to save her brother. Her friends. From whatever spell Freeman has them under.

She isn’t going to let them fall.

Not today.

Author's Note

Title reference: Gilbert O’Sullivan - Alone Again

Title significance: AJ is indeed alone. Not normal for her.

Sorry for such a short chapter! This is kinda the part of the story where my plot outline is just “They go through the castle” so I got writers block pretty hard on this one. I got to my ‘2500’ word expectation, but only barely.

And I unknowingly started a mini-arc. Awesome. Love to see it!

Anyway, make sure to leave feedback! Tell me of any mistakes, and..

Thanks for reading!

River City- Er, uh.. Canterlot Castle Ransom

“Hoof me that can of spray paint.” Golden said, putting out his hoof. The Private grabbed said spray paint with his mouth, and dropped it on Golden’s hoof.

As expected, the can rolled right off. Golden Shephard then levitated it with his magic.

“Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?” The Private asked, mildly irritated. NO reason he couldn’t have-

“Because I wanted you to do it.”

Private’s eye twitched.

“Now shut up and help me with this.” Golden said, spraying the wall with black spray paint.

Private widened his eyes at that. “How?? We only need to write one thing!”

Golden clicked his tongue. “That’s true.”

Private smiled at the fact that he got through to him. Looks like-

“Draw a dick.”

“What?!”

Roughly 2 minutes of spray-painting later..

Golden admired his handiwork.

“Hey, Fremen! We have Applejack! Come and get us in the ballroom! Unless you’re too chicken..”

And then, right next to it, you could see a highly detailed art-piece of the male equine genitalia.

Golden tossed the can behind him and pointed at AJ. “Pick her back up, and get moving. We’re going to the ballroom.”

Private sighed, tossed his own can away, and picked her back up. Grunting, he tossed her onto his back. He adjusted slightly to the weight, but was ready to rock and roll.

“Now come on. Let’s get there before she wakes up.” Golden said, nodding his head in the direction of another door.

“Sir.. how is this even going to work? How do you know he’ll see this?” Private asked, doing a sharp inhale. She was heavy!

“Because Freeman can’t go anywhere else.” Golden explained.

“What do you mean?” Private asked, raising an imaginary eyebrow.

“I blocked off the exits. You remember the earthquake?” He said. Private nodded. “That wasn’t an earthquake. That was me, knocking off chunks of the castle roof.”

“What?! But, I almost died!” Private yelled in shock. It was true, he was almost crushed.

“Casualties are to be expected in battle. Anyway, Freeman will come by here in a few minutes. He has only one way to go,” He pointed at a vent.

“Which will put him here. He’ll see the message, look to that map,” He pointed to a nearby map, “And head to the ballroom, where he’ll find us. He’ll be forced to surrender because we have both weapons AND his friend, and then we can get our Medals of Honor.” Golden nodded to himself, chuckling. It then turned into a cackle.

“Uh, sir? That laugh is pretty evil.” Private said nervously.

Golden’s eyes widened and he stopped cackling. Coughing once, he nodded. “Of course. Apologies.”

“Yeah..”

“Ow!” I said, pinching my finger.

“Shut up.” Spike said, putting a finger over his lips.

“Don’t tell me to shut up!”

“I’ll tell you what I want to tell you!”

“Both of you shut up!” Rainbow yelled.

“You shut up!” We both yelled.

I looked back at Spike. He looked at me.

Then we all started chuckling.

“Just guys being dudes.” I said.

“Just dudes being guys.” Spike said as well.

Rainbow looked between the both of us. “I’m not a guy!” She objected. We both turned around to look at her.

“Yeah well? You’re considered one. That’s an honor.” Spike said, patting her on the head. She exaggerated a frown, but then smiled.

“Well.. I guess that’s okay.” Rainbow said. But then she got annoyed. “Move your fat ass.” She grumbled, punching my leg.

I said nothing, deciding to simply stare at the wall in front of me.

“Hey, Fremen! We have Applejack! Come and get us in the ballroom! Unless you’re too chicken..”

And a dick. Hah, nice. Wait..

...who has Applejack?

Who.. who got ahold of her? Is she okay?

She’s in the ballroom. What are they planning? Why the ballroom? WHERE is the ballroom?

“Gordon, hey! You still with us?” Rainbow asked, tapping my shoulder.

I snapped to attention as I remembered that there were people waiting on me. “Right.” I muttered.

I smashed open the grate and jumped out. I landed front-side, (on my face) but a roll fixed that. I stood up straight and walked slowly over to the wall.

“Hey, what’s up... with..” Spike trailed off, staring at the same message I was.

“Why.. and who..?” Rainbow asked, brain clearly as fried as mine was. “Why do they want just you? And why do they have Applejack?”

I rubbed my nose. “I.. I don’t know.”

“Well there has to be a reason!” Rainbow explained, voice getting louder (and higher).

“I don’t know! Ransom, maybe? They know I’ll try and get her back, so they’re trying to lure me to the ballroom. Most likely for an ambush.” I theorized.

Rainbow looked up to me. “So, what are we going to do?”

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to walk right into their trap. Obviously, they expect us to find another way in or something, so if we just walk in they won’t expect it. Unexpect the expected, after all.” I said, turning to a nearby map.

“Wait, what?” Spike asked.

“They expect us to walk in, but subconsciously know that we’ll sneak in. If we don’t sneak in, they won’t expect it. If we do what they expect (which is what they don’t expect) we’ll have the upper hand. Get it?”

Spike looked more lost than before. “No, I don’t get it.”

“Eh whatever, you’ll see what I mean.” I said. “But I don’t know where the ballroom is.”

I looked around, and smiled. “Thankfully, there’s a convenient map right over here. This should tell us where the ballroom is.”

I walked over to it and put my fingers on it. I quickly found a ‘You are here’ decal (already an improvement over the last one) and found the ballroom. It was easy to find as there was text next to it that said ‘Right here, dumbass’.

Thanks.

I turned to the others. “Okay, so. Here’s the plan. We walk in through the main doors and surprise them. We take them out, grab Applejack, and dip. We want to take two lefts and then a right, which will lead us to the spire we need. We’re already close, but going to the ballroom just puts us closer to it.” They all nodded along.

“At that point, we climb the spire and go to Xen. Simple enough, right?”

Rainbow nodded, “Yeah. So-“

“EHHH!!” I did an imitation of a buzzer. “Wrong! This is gonna be hard as shit. Stuff is never as easy as it sounds. There’s definitely more debris blocking the exits, so getting to the spire isn’t as simple as a one way path, you get me? And not to mention the fact that these guys are, I’m assuming, trained guards. It’s not as simple as fighting a mindless crab.” I explained.

Rainbow’s eyes widened but she nodded quickly. “I thought as much.” She muttered.

“Okay. So..” I clapped my hands. “Let’s go kick ass..?”

“Let’s go kick ass.” They said at the same time. I smiled.

Hell. Yeah.

Private pulled on the rope one last time, checking the tightness of it. When it tugged and didn’t go anywhere, he smiled.

“She’s all tied up, Sir!” He said enthusiastically.

“Good! Grab the bucket.” Golden said, nodding towards a pale of water. Private nodded, and picked it up in his teeth.

He looked around the ballroom. Due to nothing actually going on at the moment, it was pretty big and empty. Perfect for this supposed ‘Duel of the fates’ the Captain keeps talking about.

He walked over to the orange farmpony and tossed the water on her. She snapped awake and began coughing, all the while shaking in her binds. She stopped coughing and looked at the ropes.

“What the hay..?” She looked up at her captors.

“What the Tartarus did you two do to me?!” She yelled, trying to break out of her binds. She stopped when she felt the stinging sensation of a migraine.

“Hey, calm down. No need to get all antsy. We aren’t gonna hurt you-” Golden started, but he was interrupted.

“Well then why-!” Golden stuck a hoof in her mouth.

“I was getting to that. We aren’t hurting you. But.. you will be a pawn for us, and if you get hurt, it won’t be because of what we did. We just need your friend, Freeman, to come down here. He’ll come to get you, won’t he?” Golden said, putting a hoof on her shoulder.

She moved away from it. “O’ course he will! And when he gets here, he’s gonna kick yer flank!” Applejack said, confidently.

“I doubt that.” Golden said, dropping his hoof. “But whatever. If you’re so confident in him.”

“I may be. But ya know what? I don’t need him to get outta here. I ain’t no damsel in distress.” Applejack said, smirking.

Golden chuckled. “You make me laugh. You? A frail mare? Nice try.”

“That’s pretty sexist.” Applejack said, jumping in her chair, causing a loud ‘BANG’ to reverberate around the room.

“I don’t-“

Rumble..

“Uh, was that because I jumped in the chair?” Applejack asked.

“Sir? I thought you said you wouldn’t make any more debris fall.” Private said, scratching his head.

Golden chuckled nervously. “Uh, that wasn’t-“

“SKREEEAAAAAAAA!!!!”

A giant pincer burst forth from the floor.

And then another.

And then two more.

They were green in color, and looked rather sharp. The first thing it did was let out another squeal, and send down one of its pincers at lightning speed.

Right through Private’s chest.

“Ah, AHHHH!!!” He yelled as it dragged him away. Golden panicked and grabbed onto Private’s hind legs.

It was all for naught, as he couldn’t hold on. Private was flung towards the monster, in which it opened a weird.. mouth.. and swallowed him whole.

The pincer came back down, and Golden dodged it. He ran back to the ballroom wall. The pincer came down, but it just barely missed him.

“Oh thank Celestia.” He squeaked out. It came down again, but still couldn’t reach him.

He then felt a puddle near the back of his legs.

Applejack turned away from the Captain and turned around in her chair. She slowly bounced towards the pincer that was trying to crush her/stab her, and she got just close enough. She felt it stab the rope slightly, and she jumped back one last time. The pincer went straight through the rope, destroying her bindings.

She jumped from the chair and galloped towards the ballroom wall, putting her back to it. The monster couldn’t reach her here. It couldn’t when she was in that chair, but she’d rather not risk being too close.

A set of ballroom doors were all the way on the other side of it, and she could see clear as day that the pincers could actually reach it. She would die if she attempted to get to it.

She didn’t notice the pair that were right next to her.

She looked to her kidnapper and saw him cowering in fear. She scoffed, taking notice of his horn.

“Hey!” She yelled. He looked over at her, but his fearful expression turned to one of anger.

“How did you get out?!” He yelled.

“I told ya I could! Anyway, use that fancy horn o’ yers and blast it to Tall Tartarus!” She yelled back.

His eyes widened, and he nodded frantically. “Good idea!”

He charged up a spell and fired it. The spell narrowly missed it. He did it one more time.

Miss.

He did it again.

Miss.

“Buck it!” He yelled, and began rapid-fire shooting them. He hit most of the shots, but it wasn’t doing any clear damage except stunning the pincers slightly. “Why isn’t this working!?”

Each shot blasted through the roof, which Applejack took notice of.

Wait.. what if..

That’s it!

She turned to face him. “Hey! Shoot the roof!” Applejack yelled. He turned to look at her, and his eyes widened even more.

“You’re a bucking genius!” He yelled back, and began firing exclusively at the roof.

The creature took notice of this, but didn’t understand why he was doing it.

Golden continued to shoot, feeling sweat drip down his forehead. Magic took power, power that he didn’t necessarily have completely. He was getting tired.

But with one last shot, the roof was unstable enough to collapse. The pincer thing just needed to slam its ugly head into the floor one more time, and the whole thing would fall. He cast a protective spell around himself, but not Applejack.

“Hey, what gives?! Cast one on me!” She yelled.

Applejack turned around to find a way out of the room, or any form of cover. I’m doing this, she took notice of a set of doors. An exit. Her eyes widened and she took one step-

BANG

The pincer slammed into the floor.

RUMBLE..

...

Roof falling noises.

Everything went quiet as Applejack turned to run out of the room. She opened the ballroom doors and dove out, right as the roof collapsed. But she had been too slow.

When it all cleared, she saw that her legs had been pinned under a large piece of the roof. It hadn’t fallen hard enough to break anything, but it still hurt like Tartarus.

“Applejack..?” A voice asked. A familiar one at that. “What.. What is the meaning of this?”

“Tia, we are approaching Canterlot.” Luna said, looking at her sister.

“I see that, Lulu. But thank you.” Celestia replied.

Luna nodded, but quickly had to dodge a bolt of magic. “What the-?!” She yelled.

“That was offensive magic..” Luna muttered. Who was firing at the Princess?

“Tia look out!” She yelled, and pushed her sister out of the way of another one.

“Where the hay are those coming from!?” Celestia yelled in a panic at almost losing her head.

Luna looked in the direction they flew from, and saw the castle becoming a borderline light show.

“It’s.. coming from the castle!” She exclaimed, pointing to it.

“Do you think somepony is in danger?” Celestia asked.

Luna nodded. “Maybe. But we definitely need to see what that is, don’t you agree?”

“I do agree.”

Celestia nodded, and they both started flying once more. The bolts of magic were getting faster and therefore harder to dodge, but they were managing. What they couldn’t manage, however, was a ton of the things. They were barely scraping by at this point, and Luna had been hit with one. She had cast a protective spell over both of them after that.

And then the castle roof caved in.

They were on full alert mode now. What the Tartarus was causing this?!

They arrived at the shambles of what used to be a beautiful ballroom, and landed inside. They looked around, trying to spot what was causing all that trouble. Debris littered the area, definitely from the roof collapse. It was a war zone, and among this debris..

“Applejack..?” Celestia asked, quickly galloping over to her. “What.. what is the meaning of this?” She asked, and then levitated the roof piece that was pinning down her little pony.

“Applejack, are you okay?” She whispered. “Are you awake?”

“P-Princess?” Applejack asked.

“Yes, Applejack. It’s me. Now.. to reiterate. Are you okay?” She asked with more force. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Celestia was lucky she had arrived when she did.

“Uh, yeah.. Ah’m fine. Thanks for being here cough to save me.” Applejack muttered, lungs filled with dust.

“Tia! I found a body!” Luna yelled, moving another piece of debris in slight panic. “Oh..” She got a good look at who it was.

Or, what was left of him.

It was the Captain of the Sunlight Guard, Golden Shephard.

She put her head down in respect. He was beyond saving. His organs had been splattered on the wall..

She felt the residue of magic. He had cast a.. protective barrier. Around himself.

Seems it wasn’t strong enough.

Celestia walked up to Luna, “Who is it, Lul-“ She froze.

“Oh.. Golden..” Celestia whispered.

She felt a tear well up in her eye, but quickly wiped it away.

No. She has to be strong.

There are bigger issues right now than the death of a friend. Don’t be selfish, Celestia. Your ponies need you.

Speaking of her ponies, Applejack walked up next to her. “Izzat him? Oh, it is! Wonderful!” Applejack said, breaking out into a little dance.

Celestia felt her wings flare, and her gaze turn icy. She turned to face Applejack. “..What?” She asked, teeth clenched. Celebration.. celebrating the death of a pony?!

“Yeah. Bastard kidnapped me and held me for ransom. He’s the reason Ah almost died.” Applejack explained, sticking out her tongue.

Suddenly, Celestia didn’t feel like mourning anymore.

And.. neither did Luna. Judging by the spit that came out of her mouth and landed on his head.

“Isn’t that a little harsh?” Celestia asked.

“Nope. Never liked him anyway.”

Just as Celestia opened her mouth to respond, the other set of doors were kicked open.

“Applejack, we’re here to-!” I froze.

“Uh... what’d we miss?” Spike whispered, coming up behind me. “What the Tartarus happened here?”

Celestia turned away from Applejack and towards the group that just entered. Upon noticing me, her gaze turned from icy, to shocked, back to icy.

“You wouldn’t happen to be a man named ‘Freeman’, would you?” Celestia asked calmly.

“That’s me. Why?” I said, slowly reaching for my crossbow.

“Freeman..” Luna muttered, and then cast a lie detector spell. “Freeman, did you cause this invasion? I’m getting it out in the open. Straight to the point.”

“Wow, not gonna invite me to dinner first-“ I started to crack a joke, but Celestia’s mane turned into FIRE.

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!” She yelled.

“Ah! Jesus Christ! No, I didn’t!” I yelled, covering my face and backing up.

I heard a small ‘ding’ and Celestia’s mane turned back to normal.

“Well, Freeman, it seems you aren’t lying. That’s good to know. Anyhow, I’ve got places to be. I’ll be seeing you!” She said, and walked off.

Luna slowly trotted over to us. “Forgive my sister. When it comes to her ponies, she becomes borderline bipolar-“

“Lulu! Coming?” Celestia asked cheerfully.

“See my point? Anyway, sorry for the trouble. I wish you the best of luck on your travels.” Luna nodded to us.

“Thanks, Lulu.” I said.

She blushed. “That isn’t my name! It’s Princess Luna, and you shall refer to me as such.” She explained, pouting.

“Sorry, Princess.” I said. She nodded, smiled, and walked off.

I turned to the group. They all looked at me.

“That was weird!” I yelled, flinging my arms up into the air.

“Yeah. I agree with you on that.” Spike said, sighing. “So.. we didn’t save Applejack?” He asked.

“Nnnnope. Ah saved myself.” She explained.

I grinned and turned to her. “Ah, AJ! Good to see you’re okay. And good job getting out of there! That was really impressive!” I gushed, smacking her back lightly.

“Yeah, yeah..” She muttered, batting the floor, an embarrassed expression on her face.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m in the mood for some spire climbing and alien fighting. Who’s with me?” I asked, putting out my hand. Rainbow was first to join. Then Spike, and finally Applejack.

“Kickass on three!” I exclaimed.

“1..”

“2..”

“3!”

“Kickass!” We all yelled.

“Alright. Let’s move, shall we? If I recall it’s two lefts and then a right, yeah?” Spike questioned. I nodded.

“That it is, buddy.” I said, and turned around. I lead the group to the other side, and walked through the door. I turned left and began walking.

The hallway was actually rather nice. It had tapestries still on the wall, there were some paintings (very few were broken) and it was painted a nice shade of purple. Lilac, if I were to guess. It was tall, but not too tall. Rather comfy.

I took the next left, and got disheartened at the fact that this one was exactly the same. I expected it.. but come on! Can’t even have new ideas?

I took the next right, and the hallway ended with one door.

“So.. I guess it really was a clear shot.” I coughed, looking to Rainbow Dash.

“I guess you’re right. So.. uh.. is this it? The door of destiny?” Spike asked.

“I think it is. Well, let’s-“

I took one step forward, and my Geiger counter started going off.

I held out my arms to stop the others. “Nope, do not go any further.” I said, forcefully.

“What, why?” Spike asked.

“My Geiger counter is going off.” I explained.

Rainbow did a spit-take, but without any water. “Wait, doesn’t that mean-“

“Yes. Whatever is through that door.. is highly radioactive. I think it’s picking up on the teleporter.” I explained, but then started talking to myself. “But.. it never goes off this far away.. how radioactive is that damn thing?”

“So.. is this it?” Rainbow asked. “Is this where we part ways?”

I nodded slowly. “I’m afraid so, RD.”

She looked disheartened at the news.

Couldn’t blame her.

“But look. This isn’t the end of the stuff you need to do. There are still a lot of people out there that need your help, and I want you to go and help them. Take your baton, and go wreak havoc on the city. See if anyone needs any help.” I said, kneeling down.

She nodded. “Sir, yes, Sir!”

“Applejack?” I said. She straightened up. “I need you to turn the castle into a safe-house. Think you can do that?”

“I can do that faster than you can say ‘Horse-radish.’” She smiled.

“Horse-radish.” I said.

She exaggerated a frown, and I chuckled.

“Alright, well..” I began to say, but froze when Rainbow suddenly hugged me. I patted her on the back awkwardly.

“What brought this on?” I asked, though I wasn’t complaining.

“Just.. don’t die, ‘Kay? Dying is for losers. And you’re not a loser.” She muttered, looking into my eyes.

“Don’t worry.” I said. “I don’t plan on it.”

She pulled out of the hug and smiled at me. She gained a determined expression and flew off.

“See you, Freeman!” She yelled.

“See ya.” I muttered.

Applejack looked at me and tilted her hat. “Good luck out there, Gordon. Ah had a good time. Ah’ll miss ya.”

I nodded, and smiled. “I’ll miss you too.”

She turned and galloped off.

I looked over at Spike. “Anything you wanna say?” I asked.

He smiled. “Dragons can handle heat. Up to about.. 4000 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“Wait..” I started.

“Pretty sure I can handle a little radiation.” Spike explained, shrugging.

“That’s not how radiation works..” I sighed. “It’ll melt your skin, man. I wish you could come, but-“

“Scales.” He pointed at himself.

Oh, yeah. Because that’ll just make me change my mind-

I pondered this thought.

Would he really be fine? I mean, he can handle intense heat. And he doesn’t have skin. Or at least, it’s protected by scales. He should be okay.. right?

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” Spike said, and began running to the door. Did I say that out loud? Wait!

“Hey, wait!” I yelled. He flung the door open and was blasted back by a wave of air.

This same wave of air came by and threw me down, too.

“Warning! Hazardous radiation levels detected!” The suit said. Also, it beeped, signifying a minor loss of health.

Health: 55

Armor: 23

When in the hell did I lose armor?

Probably from all that falling.. you know, from the vents. Shit hurts.

Wait, Spike!

I quickly stood up and was about to run over to him when he stood back up. He grinned, and flashed me a thumbs up. “All good. No pain.”

My eyes widened, but then I smiled. Son of a bitch..

The gang is half here.

Xen isn’t a solo mission!

“Just guys being dudes..?” I started.

“Just dudes being guys.” He finished.

Looks like I’m not going to be alone again.

Not for a long while.

I put out my hand, and Spike gripped it tightly with a claw.

Oh yeah.

Just guys being dudes.

Author's Note

Title reference - River City Ransom (NES)

Title significance - I don’t even need this anymore do I

Yo Waddup! Longer chapter than normal!

This wasn’t a chapter where I had to pad for time, believe it or not. I banged this one out with 3900 words. I got to 4000 with editing. I’m proud of myself, ya know.

Rip private though

Tell me of any mistakes! Please, please do! It’s the only way I can get it fixed! All criticism is welcome, as usual, and..

Thanks for reading!

X E N

“So.. uh..” I started, staring at the door to the spire. The door of destiny.

“Should we just.. go inside?” Spike asked, scratching his head.

“I.. I guess so.” I replied.

Come on, Gordon! Why do you have cold feet now? You weren’t this nervous when you had to enter the lambda core. And that was an even more nerve-wracking experience! The whole journey through Black Mesa was building up to that moment, and you just went along with it. Where’s badass hero Freeman?! Can I have him back?? I’d much rather have him over clown-ass pussy Gordon.

Spike sighed, derailing my train of thought. “Okay, buck it. Let’s just.. no more putting it off. Let’s stallion up.. and do it. Just do it!” Spike exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. He briskly walked to the door and flung it open.

This time, no radioactive shockwave came out. I’m guessing it’s because the pressure wasn’t as built up as it was the first time ‘round. If you catch my drift.

I’ll never speak again.

I walked up to Spike to get a closer look, but wasn’t too shocked at what we found. It seemed to be a bedroom, and a basic one at that. However, a staircase wrapped around the interior, leading up to a window. This.. is the interior of the spire. The correct one, I hope. Good to know it had an easy-access staircase.

But god, imagine if we had the wrong one! That would be the worst.

We.. most likely have the right one, though. I had momentarily forgotten about the whole ‘Radiation shockwave’ thing, mind you. That was a good sign. For us being in the right place. The correct place.

I’m stalling, aren’t I?

I am.

I exhaled through my nose and shook my head. “Alright, let’s head on up.” I said, turning to face the entrance to the staircase.

Upon hearing no reaction, I tapped Spike’s shoulder. His eyes widened as he straightened up.

“Okay, let’s do it.” Spike agreed, following my movements.

I grabbed the railing as I began my ascension. I didn’t grip it per se, I just sorta glided my hand along it. As one does when climbing a set of stairs.

After a few menial (and rather tiring) minutes of walking, we arrived at the window. Glass door. Balcony door?

Eh, whatever floats your boat. Not like it matters, anyway. A window is a window.

I undid the latch and pushed it open. The window showed no resistance to my actions, so either it’s a new window, or it gets used plenty. I’m presuming the latter, but the former is also a viable option. Windows break all the time!

Well, when you smash them with a crowbar, they do. Semantics!

Though, I don’t know why I referred to it as a balcony door, because there’s.. no actual balcony. This window just leads to another set of stairs that wrap around the outside of the spire.

A very thin set of stairs, might I add.

I put my back to the wall as I slowly stepped out of the room and onto the stairs. I motioned for Spike to follow, and he slowly went through the motions.

“Don’t look down.” Spike muttered, grimacing.

I immediately looked down.

But, since I don’t have a fear of heights, I didn’t- just kidding! Are you serious? Anyone in this situation would be shitting themselves in terror, fear of heights or not.

The only thing I was thankful for in this situation.. was the lack of shit in my suit.

“Gordon, would it be gay if I said I wished we were holding hooves?” Spike squeaked out.

“Kinda, but not really? And it’s holding hands. You don’t have hooves. But that doesn’t matter. This type of situation calls for it I’d say!” I choked out, clenching my eyes shut.

Spike grasped my hand and I cracked open my eyes, now feeling a lot more safe. If one of us falls, we can pull the other back up. The risk of death has been lowered significantly.

“No homo.” I said, slowly beginning the journey up the stairs.

“What does that mean?” Spike asked, shuffling along.

“Some slang from when I was a teenager. It basically means ‘This is really gay, but I don’t want it to be gay. So it isn’t gay.’ You know?” I explained.

Spike nodded, “I guess that makes sense. So.. uh, no homo?”

“Indeed. We speak of this to no one.” I commanded, staring at him intently. Spike nodded once more.

“I agree. This never leaves here.”

We continued to climb the tower, occasionally freaking out when one of us slips slightly and damn-near drags the other one with them. And then celebrating when we realize that nobody died.

All in all, this whole situation was incredibly stressful, and I wouldn’t recommend anybody try it.

Our saving grace wasn’t as quick to arrive as we had hoped, but we got it. We made it to the top of the stairs, and were now standing on the spire.

The teleporter sat in front of us, menacingly. It’s green glow casting a dim light on our faces as we stood there like action heroes.

“So... do you wanna go first?” I asked.

But just because we looked like action heroes didn’t mean we actually were.

“What the buck? No! You go first, you’ve used these things before.” Spike reasoned, pointing at it.

“You may be correct, but that doesn’t mean I like using them! They make me feel nauseous.” I argued back, crossing my arms.

“Well I guess neither of us wants to go then.” Spike said, snorting.

“Oh, I wanna go.” I chuckled. “I wanna get this over with quickly.”

“So go then!” Spike yelled, gesturing to the green and yellow orb.

“I just don’t wanna go first!” I shot back.

Spike groaned. “You know what? Buck it. Fine.”

He ran and dove into it. The portal let out a few electric shocks, a bright flash, and boom. Spike was in Xen.

I waited a few seconds..

And sighed in relief.

Truth is, I didn’t want to go first for one main reason. NOT because I didn’t like it. No, I actually found it super fun.

Thing is, I didn’t know if these things disappeared after someone entered. It was a very real possibility that I didn’t want to risk happening.

I didn’t want to enter and then have Spike be left alone. So, if he goes first, the only person that can be left behind is me. I could have found another way to get to Xen. Spike couldn’t have. It was the most tactically sound way to enter that wretched place.

But enough rambling. Adventure time.

I stepped back, and began running. Only, I froze instantly when I heard a voice in my head. My momentum carried and I fell over, but I haven’t enter the portal just yet. I sat near it, listening as it made ambient noises.

Then I remembered the voice.

“Citizens of Equestria. Citizens of Equus. This is Princess Celestia, of Equestria.

I’m sure you are all aware of the current predicament we find ourselves in. My little ponies, it is going to be okay. My little griffons, my little zebras. Everybody. Everything is going to be fine.

We have a group of two currently trying their hardest to take this out at the source. Snip it at the bud, as they say. But I don’t know how long they will take, and in the meantime.. I need you all to take shelter.

Word came to me that Applejack of Ponyville is making a safe-house at Canterlot Castle. Any stragglers, please go there if shelter is not readily available to you. And do not worry, if you cannot make it, because Rainbow Dash of Ponyville is going around Canterlot; looking for you. Looking for anypony to help. Please.. seek shelter. And if it comes to a situation where you have to get past any of these monsters, for any reason.. do not hesitate to kill.

I repeat.

Do. Not. Hesitate.

These are not creatures that can be reasoned with. They are mindless beasts.

Stay safe, Everyp-body. I love you all.

And Spike? Freeman?

I’m counting on you both.”

Yeah no pressure! Totally not gonna fuck up, die, and doom the whole world. I got this!

I don’t got this.

But me not having this is Future Gordon’s problem!

Now, back to the message thing. Gee.. a little dark, don’t you think? I mean.. it’s probably pretty effective.. but wow.

And, a little off-topic, but I’m happy that she learned what I told Applejack and RD; and I’m SUPER glad she knows what me and Spike plan to do.

How she figured that out..?

I don’t know. Magic?

Fuck, probably.

I wiggled my body a little to shake off my nerves, and ran a hand through my hair. I took a deep breath, stepped back, and pulled out my crowbar.

I took one last step back. I was at the edge of the roof now.

I faced forward, and sprinted.

At the last possible second, I jumped into a dive, and went face-first into an incredibly radioactive portal.

Awesome.

“You dumb.. bitch!” Twilight yelled, casting an offensive spell in Celestia’s direction. “You let him go?!”

Celestia put up a shield in stunned silence, blocking the attack as she pondered that. ‘Dumb bitch?’

“Freeman was a danger to the population, Princess Celestia! He caused this whole thing.. and you say ‘I’m counting on you’!? What the buck?! What are you counting on him for?!” Twilight yelled again, throwing a nearby glass cup. Anything to try and hurt her old mentor.

Celestia side-stepped it, and cleared her throat. “Twilight, what in Equestria has gotten into you? Usually you’re more level-headed than this.”

“I can’t be level-headed when the LEVEL-HEADED ONE LET A CRIMINAL GO!” Twilight tossed a tapestry from the wall. It hit Celestia, but it didn’t hurt.

“Twilight, to clarify.. Freeman did not cause this. We tested him on it and everything. We don’t know the root cause of the invasion. It could be anything. But I know for certain.. it isn’t him. And the reason I’m counting on him is because Applejack told me what he and Spike planned on doing, and it’s.. rather heroic. They’re going to the beasts’ home realm, and taking out their leader.” Celestia explained, looking Twilight in the eye.

Twilight sat there, frozen.

He... he didn’t cause this? Freeman didn’t do anything?

She... she was..

Wrong?

“B-but-“ Twilight started, but she was cut off.

“But nothing, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia interrupted. Twilight’s eyes widened at the use of her full name. “I know you sent those guards. You sent an entire platoon of stallions. Buck, Twilight, you sent more than one platoon! To take out an.. an innocent stallion. Somepony who assumed he had the fate of the entire world on his back. Somepony who, at the moment, does have the fate of the entire world on his back. He already felt as if everything was against him, working towards his failure, and you just reinforced that theory!” Celestia scolded, voice raising.

She didn’t like disciplining Twilight, or yelling at Twilight. She knew her student only ever had everypony’s best wishes at heart. But sometimes that excuse won’t work.

This couldn’t go unpunished. This was a serious endeavor, one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Twilight had attempted the assassination of the only stallion that knew anything about the situation. The only stallion that knew what needed to be done. Had she succeeded..

All of Equestria would have been doomed. They wouldn’t have been able to bounce back. Celestia didn’t know that the orb on top of that spire was a teleporter. Nopony did!

But Freeman knew.

And yet.. despite all this. All of the ponies attempting to harm him, all of the insolence from Twilight, from Luna, from HER..

He still felt the need to try and help. He still wanted to save Equus.

And she couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why.

Freeman had every right to, at one point, say ‘Buck it’ and give up. But he didn’t! Why didn’t he?!

Celestia sighed. She should just count her blessings. She was lucky that Freeman was so forgiving..

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a sniffle.

Right, Twilight.

Celestia looked up at her student, and she noticed the tears threatening to fall. Twilight sniffled again. “Princess, I..”

“What, Twilight?” Celestia responded, feeling a strike of sympathy. Yet she forced it down. No, no. This was what Twilight needed to learn.

“I’m sorry!” She yelled, bursting into tears.

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Celestia said, calmly. Twilight stared at her in confusion, until it clicked.

“Gordon! I need to apologize to-“

“It’s too late for that, Twilight. I’m sorry for getting your hopes up, but Freeman is already gone. I’m assuming he’s in.. Uh, ‘Yen’. I don’t actually recall the name of it.” Celestia muttered sheepishly. She coughed and regained her composure. “But he’s in the alien world by now, I’m sure of it.”

Twilight’s nose twitched and she slammed a hoof onto her armrest. “Damn it!”

She held her hoof in place until she began to shake, more tears leaking from her eyes.

She bucked up.

She bucked up bad.

CHKK

CHKKKKK

FWOOOM

PCHCHCHHEWWWW

Having gone face-first into the portal, that also meant I went face-first out.

“Dammit!” I yelled upon smashing my face into the floor. I groaned, and slowly sat up. I took off my glasses, cleaned them with the gloves, and put them back on.

“Everything okay, Spike-“

I froze at what I saw.

It.. it was..

Beautiful.

This.. this isn’t Xen. Where am I?

Xen was.. bland. Boring. Highly dangerous, but overall kinda.. blank. It was just a bunch of floating islands.

But.. this?

I.. I just.. words can’t describe it. It looked.. aquatic, almost? There were still floating islands.. but they had so much more substance! I could see gear from the Black Mesa science team, so they’ve been here. But.. why didn’t I go here? Is this still Xen? Is it another part of Xen? Why didn’t I get to see this Xen? This is awesome!

“Gordon.. are you seeing this?” Spike muttered, awestruck.

“Yeah.. yeah I am.” I said, just as amazed. Wow..

Sorry to sound like a broken record.. but this is just incredible.

The moment was ruined by a distant WHIRRRRR..

I groaned and pulled out my crossbow. I looked into the scope and fired, hitting the houndeye dead-on. It died quickly, letting out a whimper.

“Way to ruin the moment!” Spike yelled, and clicked his tongue. “Some ponies..”

I snorted, and started to chuckle. Spike joined in quickly.

After a few seconds of goofing off, Spike turned to me. “Alright. That was fun, but we’re still in, you know, death territory. What do we do now?” He asked, straightening himself out.

I put a finger to my chin, taking after Spike’s habit. I mean..

“Uh.. find another teleporter, I guess. There’s probably some seemingly convoluted but actually really easy puzzle we have to solve, though.” I said, turning away from Spike and looking back at Xen. It’s like stargazing.. incredible.

He nodded, “Uh, okay. Seems easy enough.”

“Seems.” I muttered.

“What was that?” Spike questioned, perking up.

“Eh, not important.” I said, doing a dismissive hand gesture.

Spike shrugged.

Author's Note

TO CLARIFY: I am using the ‘Black Mesa’ remake version of Xen. The Gordon in my story is from the original half-life, and therefore doesn’t recognize this version of Xen. You catch my drift?

Why did I do that? Well, I just think it’s cooler. Xen was definitely the weakest aspect of the original half-life.

And sorry for the short-ish chapter. I want to have the entire Xen experience be a separate chapter, you know? I don’t want to taint it with that beginning stuff. I was still able to reach my 2500 word minimum, but this chapter was bound to be weak anyway.

Tell me of any mistakes! Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, and..

Thanks for reading!

I’m not Paralyzed, But I Seem to be Struck by You.

“Come on!” I yelled, stomping my foot on the ground.

I can understand being afraid. But this is fucking ridiculous!

“No! I won’t make it!” Spike yelled, standing on the main island.

“Yes, you will! I made it!” I yelled, trying in vain to reason with him.

“You had that jump enhancer!”

“I used it for style points! STYLE POINTS! I didn’t need it!” I replied, getting more and more pissed off.

“I don’t believe you!” Spike yelled back.

“Why would I lie-! Spike get your ass over here or so help me..!” I threatened. I know this seems like I’m being insensitive, but come on! We don’t have all the time in the world! People depend on us!

Wait.. that’s it!

“Spike!”

“What?!” He yelled back, obviously not very happy.

“Look, I understand your fear. I really, really do! But this isn’t the time for it! Before I jumped in the portal, before I arrived here. Celestia gave us all a message.” I started to explain.

His look changed from anger to confusion. “She did?”

“Yes.” I replied, “And you know what the last words she said were?” I asked, motioning for him to guess.

“Uh.. no?”

“She said she was counting on us, Spike. The Princess of Equestria. She’s counting on us. We’re the only ones that can do this, and we can’t continue on if you let something like this hold you back.” I explained, trying to get him to man up and face his fears.

Spike looked conflicted. On one hand, painful agonizing failure. On the other hand, painful agonizing failure.. for all of Equestria. And on the final hand.. painful, agonizing.. victory.

Spike exhaled softly, turning to look at Gordon. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

I grinned. “You got this, man!”

He nodded. “I got this.” He whispered to himself.

He took a few steps back, and began sprinting. At the last possible second, he took a giant leap. A leap.. towards me.

I wasn’t able to move away in time before he crashed directly into me, causing us both to go tumbling over the edge.

We both fell.

Into a never ending void..

Well, we would have, had I not used quick reflexes and stuck the sharp end of my crowbar into the island. Spike held onto my legs and whimpered.

I simply sat in stunned silence for a bit, processing what had just occurred. It all happened so fast.

Yet.. once again, Freeman cheats death.

I looked down at Spike, “Well.. uh.”

“Celestia damn it, Freeman. You’ve done it again. You told Death to go sit on a cactus.” He smiled.

I chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

My smile faded as the situation set in, and I slowly began to climb up the crowbar. My upper body strength was incredibly lacking, though, so it was a rough task. Thankfully, Spike caught on and pulled himself up onto the island before me. He gave me his claw and pulled me up with minimal effort.

“You’re really friggin’ strong.” I commented, slightly out of breath.

“Eh, it’s a dragon thing.” He replied, doing a dismissive hand gesture.

“Is it?” I asked, squinting.

“I spent my whole life reading books. It’s a dragon thing.” He snorted.

Hey!

I resemble that remark!

“Books are cool..” I muttered, exaggerating a frown.

“Nerd.”

“Shuddup!”

I frowned again, but stopped when I noticed a red light. Something was glowing.

When I got a full look at it, my frown was replaced with a hopeful smile.

“Hey, hey!” I yelled, rushing over to the thing in question.

“What?! What is it?!” Spike yelled in a panic.

I knelt down next to the HEV-clad dead body, and flipped him over. There it sat. The holy grail.

A Glock 17.

I grabbed the firearm and pulled the slider in order to give me access to the chamber. I poured out the bullets, counting five.

I popped out the magazine, put the bullets back in the mag, put it in the gun, and pulled back the slider. It snapped into place and I had a loaded firearm.

I opened up the ammunition pocket on the suit and found two more magazines, which I pocketed for myself.

I put the gun on one of the quick-access hooks, and looked to Spike.

“So, uh.. what was that?” He asked.

My eyes widened as I realized. “Oh, yeah. You guys don’t have guns, do you?”

He shook his head.

I pulled it off the hook and presented it on my hands. “This is a Glock 17. It is a firearm manufactured.. somewhere, and it uses 9mm bullets. Bullets are tiny metal caps. The Glock, known as a ‘gun’ or if you want to be more specific, a ‘pistol’ is the machine used to fire these bullets. It uses a tiny explosion as a method of propulsion.”

I turned and pointed the weapon at one of those light bulb plants. “Watch.”

I looked down the iron-sights, and fired. It hit the bulb dead on, causing it to explode into a mess of green blood.

“Woah!” Spike yelled, covering his ears. “You didn’t tell me it was that loud!”

“Well, I told you it exploded.” I said.

Spike glared at me.

“Well, anyway, that’s besides the point. All you really need to know is that it can kill things quickly.”

I pulled my crossbow off of its hook, and handed it to Spike. “I won’t need this anymore.”

He nodded, and took it. “I’ll use it to the best of my ability, Sensei.”

I chuckled at his joke, “That’s all I can really ask.”

After that conversation, I decided to take a more thorough look around. There’s the dead guy, but I don’t want to spend too much time on him.

There were these little pods around that contained goodies. One of them contained an extra glock magazine and some shotgun shells (here’s hoping I find a damn shotgun), while another one contained an HEV battery. I told Spike to keep his eyes peeled for any more of them.

But, after a few minutes, there wasn’t much use left for this island. I would have just gone to the next one and continued the TIME-SENSITIVE journey.. but the closest island was one that I couldn’t make it to without the jump enhancer. This isn’t a problem for me.

It is, however, a problem for Spike.

So we brainstormed ideas.

“Maybe we can build a bridge?” He asked.

“With what bridge-building materials?” I asked, upturning a desk.

“Maybe if you jump over to the island.. you can take off the suit and toss it to me. I put it on, and then I can use the jump thingies.” Spike hypothesized. I put some fingers on my chin to signify thought.

“Wait, why don’t you just use that guy’s suit?” I asked, pointing to the dead body.

Spike put a fist to his forehead and groaned. “I forgot about him.”

smacksmack

“HEUGH”

PSSSSHHHHEWWWW

“UGH”

“Okay, Spike! All you have to do is run, jump, and then clench your toes! The suit does the rest!” I called out to him.

Man, lemme tell you. Spike looks goofy as hell in that thing. The helmet didn’t fit him; so he’s just like me in that regard. And before you ask, I didn’t take his helmet because my glasses don’t fit inside.

I am blind as a bat without those things. I had to skip on the helmet. Unfortunate, but oh well.

“Okay..” Spike breathed. “Run, jump..” He began sprinting.

He jumped off the island. “Toes!”

He clenched his toes, and the suit shot him across the distance. His eyes widened as he gained speed, but then he focused.

He landed on the island with grace, slowing to a stop right after.

I stared in disbelief at the display, but then slowly clapped. “Bravo. That was really impressive!”

He blushed slightly at the praise, and looked down. “Yeah, yeah. I guess..”

I slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Cut that shit. Take compliments.”

He nodded. “Fine.”

“Alright, next island.”

I ran, jumped, and flew. Repeated this process a couple more times until I landed on.. a strange one.

Only after taking a dip in the electric blue liquid, did I find out what it was. It was a healing pool. My health meter was going up quickly, and I felt more revitalized by the second.

I felt utter bliss.. until I bellyflopped into the next pool, after going down the waterfall.

How was I supposed to know it was a current?

I stood up, spit the liquid out of my mouth, and looked around the area. This island was small, only really consisting of the pool.

But I had my fill. I wanted out. Suit was at 100 health. I don’t like getting wet, and it can’t possibly be good for the suit.

The next floating island we have to go to is humongous, so maybe we’ll be set on an adventure for the next few hours.

“Come on, Spike. Let’s get going.” I muttered.

“But I’m not done!”

“What do you mean you’re not done? There’s nothing to be ‘done’ with.” I turned to look at him. He groaned, stood up, and walked to the edge of the island.

“Now.. let’s go.”

Run, jump, toes.

I landed rather roughly on the island, not having calculated the distance well. I barely made it, and I had started to panic midair, which caused me to be less coordinated.

“You okay?” Spike asked, running over to me. I put out a hand to stop him in his tracks.

“I’m fine.” I whispered. My chest hurt a little bit, but I’ll heal.

I dusted off my knees and scratched my nose. This island was rather interesting. The aquatic theme is kept, but there was also a cave theme going on.

And that was amplified by the fact that we had to actually climb through a cave.

“I’m getting real sick and tired of tight spaces.” Spike said, dusting some cobwebs off. Something tells me they weren’t made by a spider.

“You and me both.” I replied, spitting out some dirt.

When we exited on the other side, we both stood, awestruck at what we saw. It was.. beautiful, again.

This place is amazing.

It was a giant lake. There was a big tree in the middle, with looping branches that we could climb. There were little stalagmites sticking up from the water, along with some aesthetic bullsquids.

I was happy to pop a cap in a few of them.

The lighting, though, was one of the most beautiful things. It was a soft blue glow, yet it was a contrast to the soft red of the sky. The tree had glowing, almost neon leaves, while the tree itself was the color of nature.

After sitting still for a few seconds, I shook my head and tapped Spike’s shoulder. He jumped and looked at me.

“I think we have to climb that tree.” I said, pointing to it.

He nodded, and jumped across the lake. I followed suit.

I shot a nearby houndeye, but my gun clicked, while the slider moved back; signifying an empty magazine. I dropped the magazine, put a new one in, and pulled back the slider. It clicked into place and I started firing once more.

But more and more came. A few red ones, too. They exploded upon being hit. After seeing that, I turned to Spike.

“Run?” He asked.

“Run.”

I turned and jumped onto the tree, grabbing hold of a curved branch. I began climbing as if it was a ladder, up until I reached the largest branch. I jumped on and began running up the curvy surface, until it split off and went right into the wall. The wall opened up at the end, allowing us to go to the next area.

The branch immediately cut off, and I fell for a few seconds until I was plunged into water.

I quickly swam to the surface and took in a deep breath. Spike surfaced at the same time as me.

“Okay, so what now-?” He began to ask, but was quickly pulled underwater.

I began to panic as I looked underwater for what had taken him.

Upon seeing it, my eyes widened. Damn it, they have those here too! Those fucking.. eel things from Black Mesa!

I aimed my pistol and fired. It hit the thing, but it kept its hold on Spike. He was losing air fast; that I could tell. Bubbles escaped his mouth rapidly.

I began firing faster and faster. The thing wouldn’t stop moving!

But eventually, after I put, like, ten bullets into it; it floated to the surface, Spike in its teeth.

I swam over quickly and grabbed his arm. I wrenched him free, and swam to the shoreline. I tossed him up there and climbed on myself. I allowed myself a few seconds to rest, but had to sit back up when I heard a WHIRRRR..

BANG

BANG

Whimper..

Serves you right.

Spike began coughing, spitting up water. He sat up quickly, and looked out to the lake. “Jeez.. thanks- cough Gordon.” He said, looking over at me.

“Don’t mention it. Let’s just.. avoid the water from now on.” I said, chuckling slightly.

After a few more minutes of rest, I looked back over to him. “You ready to get moving again?”

He nodded.

I stood up, and gave him my hand. He took it and stood.

I turned to look at the area we found ourselves in. Rather basic, but.. there was a room. A compound, actually. A BASE.

Black Mesa headquarters, it seems. I recognize the door.

“Hey.. think they’ve got anything good in there?” Spike asked.

“Well, there’s that, but I also don’t know of any other way outta here. It’s the base, or its nothing.” I said, looking around more.

Yeah.. it’s a dead end on every side but here.

I stretched my legs, and walked up the door. I tilted the dial and it flashed green before opening up.

“Woah..” Spike muttered.

“Yep. Automatic doors.” I explained.

I smiled to myself. Man, he’s never seen ANY of this..

I walked inside, and instantly noticed just how.. disheveled this place was. Papers flew around like snow on Christmas, the lights were out and/or flickering, a bunch of desks and chairs were THRASHED, and- that’s a zombie.

I shot it in the head, and it died. The slider popped backwards and I reloaded.

Right as I pulled back the slider, a headcrab jumped at me. I shot it midair, causing it to fly into a nearby wall, dead.

“That was sick.” I commented.

“Buck yeah it was.” Spike said, and pulled out his crossbow.

We walked to the end of the hallway, and stopped at another door. I turned the dial and it opened up, allowing us access into the next room.

It was pointless to tell you that, wasn’t it? Anyway,

It seemed to be a laboratory. A trashed one, yes, but a laboratory nonetheless. Several of those crystals sat around, while the lights flickered, showing dead bodies. It was like something out of a horror movie.

And that was only amplified when a zombie in an HEV suit came charging at us.

“W-w-war- use- imminent. See- attenti-att-“ Its suit said, clearly fucked up beyond belief.

What the hell! This really is a god damn horror movie!

I aimed down the iron-sights, and fired.

From experience, I knew that the bullets wouldn’t do anything to the suit. So I chose to fire at the head. It was moving all over the place, but I was able to get a clear shot. Two more hits and it fell.

We continued on through the lab, but found that the door was locked. Or, well, the door had no power.

I looked to where the wires moved and found them connected to a battery. A dead one, though.

I unplugged it, and plugged it into a different battery. The door had power again, and I opened it.

Next room was another hallway. Boring and thrashed. Next!

Next room was another hallway, but it had HEV stations. Stations with zombies in them. Cool!

I just used my crowbar. Might as well not waste ammo.

Next room was another lab. Sadly, the door was once again lacking power.

Only problem?

Every battery is fucking dead!

I was 2 seconds away from an aneurysm before Spike called out, “Hey, look at this! The crystal has a place you can plug a cord into!”

My eyes widened and I slid over a desk to get to where he was. I grabbed the cord on my way over and stood next to him. “Show me.”

He pointed to a hole with three smaller holes. I smiled, and shoved the outlet in there.

The door powered up, and I was able to open it.

That’s incredible! Those crystals have electricity?? I didn’t know this until now!

Interesting. Really interesting.

Before I could geek out more, Spike spike up.

“Hey, wait.” He said. I stopped, and turned to look at him.

He put a claw up to the crystal and chipped off a tiny piece. I watched on in horror as he popped it in his mouth and began chewing. I sat there, stunned. What was I supposed to do? Why did he do that? Was I supposed to get him go spit it out? He probably knew what he was doing. But.. why??

He swallowed it, and turned to me. “Eh. Kinda tastes like citrus, but it’s not anywhere near as good as normal gems.”

I rubbed my eyes just to make sure they haven’t completely failed. “As.. normal gems?” I asked, exasperated.

Spike took notice of my general demeanor and snapped his fingers. “Oh yeah. Dragons can eat gems and crystals. It’s kinda like hard candy! I prefer rubies and sapphires, but the others are good too.”

I slowly nodded.

“I guess that makes sense..” I muttered, and turned towards the door. It didn’t. It really, really didn’t.

I twisted the dial and the door opened up effortlessly. The next room we were in was another hallway. These guys sure do love their hallways!

But, thankfully, at the end of it, it opened back up into Xen.

I heard the loud ‘clang’ of the metal as I walked down the path, towards a cooler landscape. I’m disappointed that the base was so small; but I’m also kind of glad it wasn’t a huge maze.

I turned to look off in the distance. What looked like birds flew in front of a giant island with a statue on it.

But sadly, it didn’t look like we had anywhere to go except into another base.

I climbed the set of stairs and up to the door. I turned the dial and it opened up, allowing us access.

“How many of these things are we gonna have to go through? I’d much rather be out here, despite all the.. aliens.” Spike admitted, looking out into the vast expanse of land.

“You and me both.” I whispered.

This.. wasn’t another base.

It was just a.. walkthrough? Straight into another part of Xen. Why.. what’s the point? Why do that?

“Well that solves that problem.” I muttered.

I walked through the door and out into this new area. And lemme tell you.. wow. It’s beautiful. Again! This place never fails to heighten expectations.

There was another tree in the middle, that of which was surrounded by little water currents. There was some Black Mesa gear visible; but not that much that it took away from the overall look. Giant tree leaves sat in the air, while little bio-luminescent bulbs lined the grassy pathway. Crystal stalactites hung from a cave ceiling, while plenty of those pincer trees sat around looking.. menacing.

I stepped off the overhang we stood on and began walking around. I noticed the metal pathway on top of a small cliff, and upon reaching it, found that it was a jump platform. A painted arrow told me so.

I ran, and jumped to one of the giant luminescent tree leaves. It bounced slightly, but was able to support my weight.

I continued on the path of these tree leaves, Spike following close behind. I hopped onto an actual, solid branch, and began walking up the length of it; admiring the scenery all the while. The wildlife here was beautiful.

“Jesus..” I whispered. I can’t get enough of this!

Well, not those guys.

I slammed my crowbar into a houndeye and it died quickly.

I continued walking, noticing that it gradually turned into a less aquatic-themed landscape.. and more into a jungle type. I welcome this change with open arms!

We walked into a tiny little cave opening, and I instantly shot the weird orange bulb. The scientific way of going about things. Toss shit at the wall until it sticks!

When I saw that it exploded and killed a bullsquid, I decided that I would no longer fire at those bulbs. Lest I kill us both.

The cave opened up, and we once again found ourselves in a tree lake area. The last one was cool.. but again? Really?

Well, no time to dilly-dally. There doesn’t seem to be a clear way out, so I have to look for one.

I pointed to the monster swimming in the water. “Spike, think you can take care of that guy for me? I’m going to take a look around on the other side of the lake.” I said, preparing to jump across.

Spike nodded, and pulled out his crossbow. As he did that, I jumped to a nearby lily pad. I quickly jumped to real land, and was also quick to curbstomp a bullsquid.

“Damn, these things are everywhere.” I muttered. I shot it to make sure it was dead.

I slowly walked towards the next island, but had to dodge to avoid the radioactive mucus.

I wasn’t able to get fully out of the way, so some hit me. The suit beeped, signifying a loss of health.

Wonderful.

I aimed at the bullsquid and fired two shots. That seemed to do the job. It quickly hit the floor, dead.

I jumped to the island across from me, and had to dodge more mucus. I groaned, and fired three more shots. Two hit, and one missed. Cool.

But it seems that two bullets is actually just enough to take these things out, and that wasn’t a total fluke. Good to know!

I turned to the next island on my list, and looked down the iron sights.

BANG

BANG

Two shots, one kill.

I blew on my gun to seem cool, despite the gun not actually smoking.

“Gordon! He’s dealt with!” Spike yelled from across the lake.

“Good! Come over here!” I yelled back.

I could HEAR him nod his head, the goof.

Author's Note

Title reference: Finger Eleven - Paralyzer

(In case it wasn’t super obvious.. I listen to a lot of music when I write)

Title significance: Gordon is awestruck by what he sees. Frozen, even. Paralyzed, if you feel so inclined.

Ay. I hope I’m doing Xen good enough. I’m not very good at describing scenes (especially with things as huge and as detailed as fuckin XEN..) but I think I’m doing okay. I’m doing a mix of both things from the actual game and my own ideas. I don’t want to make it too unoriginal, but I also don’t want to make it too original either because I’m no level designer.

But anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Make sure to tell me of any mistakes, any and all criticism welcome! Love y’all, and..

Thanks for reading!

Crowded Streets Are Cleared Away.. One by One.

I hit the thing with my baton in midair. It fell to the floor and I stomped on it, killing it dead. I wiped my brow and looked towards the shaking colt.

“Come on, Dude. I’m here to help you.” I said, putting out a hoof. He hesitantly reached forward, and when he finally touched my hoof, I grasped and pulled him out of the box he was hiding in.

I put him on my back and turned my head, facing the guy. He was shaking in fear. I’ve gotta get him to the safe-house.

“Hang on tight, Bud. I’m gonna be going pretty fast.” I said. He nodded, and I turned to face forward.

Let’s go!

I took off, instantly reaching a high speed. The wind blew past my ears as I went in the direction of the castle, forming a pocket of deafness. My mane blew in the wind; all of these things were what I loved about flying. The colt on my back made sure to keep his promise of holding on tight, by way of nearly choking me. I can handle it though. As long as he’s safe, my safety doesn’t matter much.

I landed in front of the castle doors and knocked 3 times in quick succession. The door opened and the kid was taken off my back by an unseen hoof. The door was closed quickly after.

“Gee.. you’re welcome..” I muttered.

“Thank you!” Somepony yelled from inside.

Oh. Didn’t actually expect a response. Huh.

Well, no time to dilly-dally. I turned back around and flew off again.

“You know what these things are?” I asked, pointing to the bulbous, brain-like substance.

“Uh, no. Should I?” Spike asked, staring at it. “Should I shoot it?” He pulled out his crossbow as he said that.

I shook my head, “Nope. You should run into it at full speed, though.” I said. He flipped his head in my direction, and I swear I could hear a whip-crack.

“You want me to what?!” He yelled, shocked.

“Hear me out.” I said, and jumped onto the floating island it sat on. I walked around to the other side, and then hopped onto it. It bounced me up and forward in the air, allowing me to land on a pathway that used to be out of reach.

I rolled, and stood up. I looked down on Spike, as he dropped his crossbow in shock.

“Hey, pick that back up.” I pointed at the discarded weapon. “You don’t wanna lose it, now.” I scolded.

He blinked twice, shook his head, and picked it back up. He turned towards the island and jumped to it.

He miscalculated his trajectory and direction, however, which sent him straight into it.

My first thought was that he would instantly be sent into the shadow realm. “No-!” I started to yell, but froze when I saw what it did.

Instead of bouncing him off the edge, it instead.. bounced him backwards. And towards the pathway I stood on.

He fell right onto his back and let out a grunt.

“Holy shit..” I whispered. I didn’t expect that one!

Spike groaned, sat up, and stood with an exhale. He turned towards me. “Didn’t expect the direction change.” He muttered.

“Neither did I.” I replied, scratching my head as I held back an existential crisis. Out of habit, I checked my health number. 89.

I then had a flash of recognition. “Say, Spike. What do the two numbers in the bottom left of your vision say?” I asked, snapping my fingers.

His eyes moved slightly, and looked back at me. “The one on the left says 72 while the one on the right says 10. What does that mean?” He asked.

I cleared my throat, “Well, the left one is your health. The suit can monitor your vital signs. The right number is the suits power. The ability to absorb damage and.. function in general, highly depends on that number. I just wanted to check and make sure everything was going alright.” I explained.

“Well, thank you.” He said, smiling slightly.

I nodded, smiling too. The smile slowly waned as we walked along the path, but the happy aura was still somewhat present.

As I carefully walked past one of those explosive bulbs, I panicked as I heard a houndeye. The bastard’s gonna explode and kill us!

I looked up to find it and take it out, but saw that a bunch of them were by another bulb.

An idea popped up, thank god, and I shouted out to Spike,

“Cover your ears!”

I looked down the iron-sights, and fired.

BANG

BOOOOOM

The bulb exploded, and a shower of houndeye guts came falling down afterwards. I grimaced at the sight. That’s pretty fuckin’ nasty.

“Those things are like squeaky toys from Tartarus..” Spike muttered, rubbing his ears. I snorted at that.

We continued walking (carefully avoiding slipping on the guts, ew) and we stopped in our tracks.

We had nowhere to go.

The pathway was blocked off by a bunch of giant leaves, and shooting at them didn’t do anything. We were sitting ducks at the moment.

Something in Spike clicked as he noticed the big-ass wires, however. Thick, wide lines ran from two bulbous.. things and into the leaves.

He took out his crossbow and shot at one. The red lining quickly turned blue, and some of the leaves moved outward. His eyes widened, and he shot the other one.

“What did you just do?” I asked, watching as the leaves opened up completely, allowing us entry. The fuck..?

“Uh.. I shot at those bulb things.” He said, and pointed to what looked like.. an egg sac? Kinda? I don’t really know how to describe it, especially considering it was rather far away.

I need a new prescription..

Things looked kinda like mushrooms. Whatever.

I shook my head to clear those thoughts and looked forward. Not important right now.

“So.. let’s go, I guess.” Spike said, shrugging. He began walking and I quickly caught up.

He jumped over the gap and into the cave, me following soon after. Jump, flex toes. You know the drill.

This cave was pretty. Again, as stated before, the aquatic theme was slowly dying out in favor of a more jungle-like theme. Vines hung from the roof, bulb plants sprouted from the floor, weird flowers glowed in the darkness, and moss was on every surface. Truly nature-ful.

The cave seemed to go upward rather than outward, which I wasn’t complaining about. After a couple turns, we came across another one of those bouncy brain pads. This one looked a lot more menacing, though. It had an orange backlight. Where from, I don’t know, but it looked intimidating.

So what’s the best course of action in this situation?

Put the pedal to the metal. Fuck it. Go all out. Right?

I jumped on the pad, and it bounced me up and forwards. The new place I found myself had a branch wall on the far end, which allowed me to see what was on the other side of it. Good. But.. there’s not much I could make out. Lovely!

Spike came up behind me, and did the same thing. “Uh.. looks like more of those wires.” He said, pulling away from the possible death trap. I don’t know, anything here could kill you.

But.. more of those wires? Which means more bulbous plant switches. Which means more shooting.

“Seems simple enough. More gun is what I’m good at.” I commented, turning towards the next step in our journey. Another pathway.

Another bounce on a pad, and we were up in another cave path.

You know, I’m glad that everything is pretty straightforward in here; knock on wood. This could’ve been way more complicated than it actually is. I’m glad the Black Mesa team went in here before we did, so that we could have a clear path. How nice of them.

Speaking of Black Mesa, there’s one of those tiny.. pack, things. Kinda like a quantum storage unit.

“These usually have some good stuff in them.” I muttered, turning to Spike. He seemed to be distracted with a flower or something, so he didn’t notice my speech. Whatever. Anyway, back to the pod.

I don’t know how they make these weird things, but I’m not complaining. I picked it up, popped the tab open, and poured it out. A glock magazine, some shotgun shells, a magazine for an MP5, a grenade for the MP5, and an actual grenade!

I pocketed all of these things and put the grenade on a front hook. This is great; more firepower! You know what they say.. A handful of shrapnel makes the medicine go down!

Or was it a spoonful of sugar?

I don’t know my folklore-

Something tackled me, knocking the gun out of my hand. Why was it in my hand? Well I always kept it out, just in case, and- that’s not important. Who (or what) tackled me?

“W-w-w- user—de-“ A glitchy, HEV suit voice spoke.

Oh, shit.

Spike looked over in confusion to the voice, but freaked out when he saw the source. “Gordon!” Spike yelled, and pulled out his crossbow. He fired it, but there wasn’t an arrow in the chamber.

He pulled back the sling, but nothing came up. The magazine was empty.

“RAAGHHH!!!” The zombie yelled, and chomped down. Or, tried to.

I had put my HEV-clad arm in the mouth of the zombie to block its bite, but that only worked SO well. These things have very strong jaw grip, and I could feel it denting the suit. It was going to break the damn thing!

Spike tossed the crossbow on the ground and ran to the glock that had been knocked from my hands.

“What did Gordon do?” He asked himself out loud, holding it with shaky hands. He didn’t know how the thing worked.

Realizing his plight, I opened my mouth. “Look- down the iron sights!” I yelled, trying to move my head out of the way of any potential bullets.

“I-iron sights?! This thing doesn’t have a scope, this is way harder!” He yelled.

“The iron sights are kinda like a scope! Just put the white dot on its head and pull the trigger-!” I yelled out in pain when it pulled away from my arm and bit my cheek. It tore off a small chunk of skin; but a chunk of skin nonetheless.

“Ah! Gordon! Okay, okay!”

Spike aimed, and pulled the trigger.

A bullet flew out of the barrel..

And smacked right into the zombie’s stupid head.

It died, right there. I pushed it off of me and quickly stood back up, allowing myself a few seconds to breathe. I live.. again!

I looked over at Spike, and he dropped the gun.

“Good job, man.” I breathed out. “But what’s up? You doing okay? Why’d you freeze up like that?” I asked.

After a few seconds of silence, I spoke up again, realizing why he was hesitating.

“I’m not mad.” I clarified. He sighed in relief, and seemed to loosen up.

“I don’t know. I was panicking. I had never fired a gun before.” Spike explained, touching his claws together.

“But you shot the crossbow plenty.” I said, pointing at it, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, because firing a crossbow is definitely the same.” He said, sarcastically.

“Well, in the end, yeah. Only difference is that one doesn’t have a scope and explodes.” I chuckled. “Aw, whatever. It’s fine man. I lived, you lived, nobody got hurt!”

“Minor lacerations detected, earlier. Seek medical attention.”

Oh right. My cheek.

“Come on, kid. Do I really look that intimidating?”

“N-no.. but, but daddy was a normal pony! And then he attacked mommy!” The filly yelled, hiding inside a locked building. One with glass doors, might I add. “That thing jumped on his head and he went crazy!”

I sighed. This had been going on for several minutes. How can she not trust me!? I’m Rainbow Dash; Element of Loyalty, hero of Equestria, and fastest pegasus in the land! I’m super trustworthy!

But I can understand where she’s coming from. Her mother was just killed (I’m assuming) while her father turned into one of those zombie bastards. She probably isn’t very trusting at the moment, especially of authority figures.

“Look, Kid, do you have any injuries?” I asked. Mental isn’t very important right now, I need to assess this kid.

She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”

I sighed in relief. Thank Celestia. She’s okay, physically.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

She looked away, hesitating. She seemed to realize that a name wouldn’t mean much to a zombie, though. “Moonlight Breeze.” She whispered.

She’s yellow, and a unicorn.

Fitting.

I rolled my eyes, “Okay, Moonlight. What’s a way I can get you to trust me?” I asked.

She put a hoof to her chin.

After about 2 minutes of painful, agonizing silence, her eyes widened and she smirked. “What’s my name?” She asked, letting out a triumphant ‘hmmph’.

I facehoofed. “Moonlight Breeze.”

She gasped. “How did you know!?” She exclaimed.

“You told me.” I replied.

“Oh right.”

I groaned.

She had another idea. “Hey, there’s a town in the sky. Near Ponyville. What’s it called?” She asked, closing her eyes in confidence.

“Cloudsdale.” I said, raising an eyebrow. She gasped again.

“How did you-“

“Because I’m not a zombie!” I groaned. “Come on, Moonlight. There’s a safe-house at the castle. I need to take you there, and I can’t be wasting time like this. Open the door.” I demanded, exasperated. Just let me the buck in.

She took a moment to think it over, but nodded hesitantly. Finally!

She walked up to the door, and unlocked the latch. She opened it up shortly after.

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it-“ I started, but froze as a hot liquid splattered into my barrel and part of my flank.

I looked at the offending liquid, and saw that it was green.

...And.. burning.

I turned in the direction it came from and saw a bullsquid.

“There are these other things called.. bullsquids, that shoot toxic mucus and can swipe their spikey tail at you. Avoid that.” I recalled a certain memory.

“Shoot toxic mucus.”

“Toxic mucus.”

Oh... buck.

I began to yell as I felt it eat away at my flesh. I needed to wash it off. Now!

“M-Moonlight, stay here! Lock up!” I yelled, and instantly began flying off.

I was in the air for three seconds before my wings flared up in pain and I fell to the concrete, hard. I stood up quickly and began galloping instead, wiping the tears from my eyes. This really hurt! But.. there should be a wishing well nearby. I’ve seen it before!

I ran to Canterlot park, knowing where the well was. The real question is, though.. can I make it before it’s too late?

Maybe I can. I see it in the distance. I’m almost there.

Right when I was about to reach it, my legs gave out. I let out a yelp as I fell into the grass.

I crawled to the well, hoping, desperately hoping that I could survive this. That the damage done wasn’t too bad.

I climbed up and over the well wall, and just fell inside. I didn’t care for the ramifications.

Sweet relief was felt throughout my entire body as the water cleansed the toxic substance.

I let out a shudder at the cold temperature, though. It was freezing in here.

After I felt I spent enough time in there, I began to fly out.

Only to quickly fall back in, as a shockwave of pain rippled throughout my entire backside.

I looked back to the injury, and almost puked. The fur had burned away; but so had a lot of the skin. I’m pretty sure I could see an organ. It was bleeding rather profusely, and my wing was hanging on by what looked like a few threads. The damn.. thing! Had completely destroyed my backside.

And I can’t fly out of this well without my wings. I’m stuck here.

I’m doomed to die of blood loss.

Alone.

Author's Note

Title reference: So Cold - Breaking Benjamin

Yo yo yo! Sorry for the late chapter. The reason? Well, This is probably gonna be slightly vent-y, but it’s not like you can’t just skip it.

I’ve been having some trouble in my personal life recently. Homework has gotten a lot more complicated, I have a problem with procrastination, I’ve got a lot of homework just in general, school is really stressing me out, my family isn’t on very good terms right now, and XEN is hard as fuck to write. All of this combined gives me little time to write, let alone motivation.

I’m not going to go on a hiatus or cancel the story or anything; but holy shit, I’ve been on the writing grind for a few months straight. I started with some Blood and Shadow Warrior shit on Wattpad, and then instantly did my quake story, and then did my Half-Life story, and I also wrote the CoF oneshot, and it’s all just too much. Just please understand the reason if I write a chapter a little late.

Now, with that out of the way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (BronyCommander, I didn’t harm any filly, just her parents, don’t kill me pls) It was a little fun to write. I always enjoy some Rainbow Dash perspective, and I hope you do too. Hopefully you aren’t just reading for the Freeman’s mind rip-off character lol.

Anyway, I’m probably gonna head to bed. It’s 12:20 AM over here. I love you all, please tell me of any mistakes, and..

Thanks for reading!

Hero’s Journey

I fell back into the water with a loud ‘SMACK’, and let out a squeal as my injured side came into contact with the liquid. I sat in silence for a little bit, waiting for the pain to pass.

When it did, I got right back to work.

I put my hoof in the first chipped stone, and then the next. I began trying to jump up the stones, but slipped off as there wasn’t any left to grab onto. I fell back into the water, and let out a grunt upon the rough landing.

I breathed shakily as I tried to get the energy to begin climbing again. But I was just.. so.. exhausted. Today has been one big cluster-buck of things, and frankly, I’m ready for it to be over. The aliens, Gordon, the train ride, the fighting, the portal, the royal guard, the safe-house.. It’s all just.. so much. Too much. Combine that all with rapid blood loss, possible radiation poisoning, and a bad attitude; and you’ve got one Tartarus of a combination.

I just.. want it to be over. I’m stuck in a damn well, with no way to get out, and frankly, it’s kinda pissing me off. Yet, at the same time, it’s.. draining.

I’m tired of moving, I’m tired of doing.. everything. I’ve exhausted all of the.. respectable actions, quote-on-quote.

The only option left is to just.. call for help.

So that’s what I did.

“HELP ME!! SOMEPONY! HEEEELLLLPPP!!!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, hoping desperately that somepony would hear my calls. Anypony at all.

But hope was lost quickly.

Nopony else was out there. They’re all in the Canterlot safe-house.

Because I took them all there.

My good-willed actions.. are gonna be my downfall. That’s bucking great. Ironic, isn’t it?

Or is it? Irony is a very loose definition that doesn’t make sense half the time.

But forget it. What’s the point of focusing on the bad aspects? Back to it.

I continued to yell, yet my was voice quickly going hoarse. Not good. Yelling was getting harder and harder.

Eventually, I just stopped altogether.

I’m.. alone, out here.

This is it.

I’m gonna die in here.

My vision is fading.

The great Rainbow Dash.. defeated by some toxic mucus and a wishing well.

It’s almost.. poetic, in a way.

Somepony who talked big game constantly.. defeated by something that made them very popular in the first place.

Ahh.. the Mare-Do-Well incident. Good times..

Good times.

Pinkie, AJ, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity..

I’m sorry I caused you all so much trouble that day.

I love you all.

I’m sorry I was so cocky all the time. I’m sorry I.. wasn’t good enough.

Goodbye.

...

“Hey!”

“Hey!”

“Hey! Pony, are you in here!?” Moonlight Breeze yelled, startling me out of my pity party/acceptance of death.

“H-huh?” I muttered, my eyes shooting open.

“There you are!” She yelled, gaining a big grin. “Okay, I don’t have much time. Take this!” She said.

Moonlight tossed down a rope, and it smacked me in the face.

Wait.. did she..?

“Come on!” Moonlight yelled, smacking her hooves against the stone.

Right!

I grabbed onto the rope with my teeth and she began pulling up. Slowly but surely, I was escaping the well. It wasn’t hopeless! I’m gonna be okay!

My vision shook, and I gained a massive sense of vertigo. Okay, I’m still losing a lot of blood. Forgot about that.

I’m not in the clear just yet.

After what felt like ages, Moonlight was able to pull me out. Pegasi are extremely light-weight; so she hopefully didn’t have too much trouble with it. The genetic lottery pulls through in the end..

Always knew it would, heh.

I fell to the grassy floor, spitting out the rope. Moonlight collapsed next to me, taking in deep breaths.

“Are.. you.. okay?” She asked in-between sucking in gulps of air.

I shook my head. “Not really. I’m losing a ton of blood.” I explained, looking back to my injury. I looked away with a gag upon seeing the damaged flesh.

Her eyes widened. “Right! I.. have something for that!”

She turned her head around and her horn illuminated. A first-aid kit slowly levitated from a pair of saddlebags I hadn’t noticed before.

She set it down beside my flank, and opened it up.

“Yikes..” Moonlight whispered. She pulled out some alcohol, and turned to me. “This may hurt a bit.” She said, grinning sheepishly.

I nodded. “Okay, just tell me when- YEOW!!” I yelled, feeling a brutal stinging sensation. I was about to say ‘Please tell me when you’re gonna do it’ but I guess she didn’t care!

She chuckled nervously. “Sorry about that.”

Can’t stay mad at the kid. “It’s.. fine.” I grunted. “Anyway.. how did you even get here? How did you know where I was?” I asked, looking over at her.

She pulled out some bandages. “Well, it started like this..”

Moonlight Breeze watched in fear as the blue rainbow-maned pony flew off quickly, due to being struck by that strange liquid. She had began to yell, and her parting words were “M-Moonlight, stay here! Lock up!”

And that’s exactly what Moonlight did.

She turned around, walked into the store, and sat in a wooden chair.

...

She adjusted her seating position slightly. It was rather uncomfortable.

...

She was thirsty. She should get some water.

She got up, went to one of the aisles, and grabbed a water bottle. She brought it back to the chair and drank some.

She then set it down on the floor.

Oh, but that’s not a very convenient place for it. She grabbed it and held it instead.

But it’s kinda cold..

You know, maybe she should just take a nap. That way, everything will be over faster. In the blink of an eye. Like, fast-travel or something. No, wait! Time travel. That’s a good analogy.

She closed her eyes, and adjusted her position, letting out a sigh.

...

...

She cracked open her eyelids, but then closed them again.

..

She was worried about the pony.

That liquid didn’t look safe! It smelt awful, and she could feel the heat radiating off of it. It was putrid green, and she could swear she saw some.. uh, skin.. melting off.

Moonlight grimaced at the thought.

The rainbow pegasus was probably running off to find a source of water to wash it off. The best course of action would be to wash it off immediately, after all.

But did she make it to one?

The nearest source of water is Knox Pond. It’s a short walk away from this very place, actually.

But you have to take.. a.. left turn.

That pony took a right.

What source(s) of water are on the right?

Well, there’s that old well in Bandy Park. But why would she go there? It’s pulley system for water doesn’t even work anymore. Does it even have a bucket?

She couldn’t have brought up water.

Unless.. unless she jumped right in.

She.. she couldn’t have.

Nopony has ever been able to escape that well on their own. Not without wings.

No, wait-! She’s a pegasus! Duh! She can just fly out.

...

Her wings stopped working shortly after she gained flight.

...

Moonlight was going to have to run out and get help, wasn’t she?

She was going to have to.. leave the building. And.. face those monsters.

She hopes that she can run fast enough to avoid them all.

She shook her head, and turned to the back door of the shop. She pushed it open and found herself in the break room.

It was a tiny little area. With merely a table and some chairs, along with a fridge and a few cabinets.

Moonlight ran to a cabinet on the far left wall of the room, and flung it open. She grabbed the first-aid kit sitting inside, and ran out of the break room. She immediately went over to a set of stairs, and began to climb.

She reached the top of it, and tossed open the door at the top. Her home.

It was a simple thing. For being on top of a building, it was spacious; but still kinda small. There’s two rooms on the left and right. Right door is the bathroom, left is her bedroom. There was a kitchen and living room straight ahead.

She ran into her bedroom and grabbed her saddlebags from the closet. She shoved the first-aid kit inside, and ran out of the room. She turned left and ran into the kitchen, where she a grabbed large knife.

..Before putting it away, and grabbing a rolling pin instead.

She ran out of the kitchen, and over to her dad’s indoor garage. It was a door that sat inside the living room, and it was right next to her parents’ bedroom.

She grabbed a length of rope, and checked to make sure it was sturdy. Yep.

She ran out of the garage, her house, the back door, and eventually, the glass doors. The entrance.

The doors that had kept her safe.. up until this point.

She unlocked the latch, took a deep breath, and threw the doors open.

“Okay, let’s hope she’s at the well!” Moonlight yelled, running away from that bull-shaped monster. She dodged one of its shots of mucus, and kept running.

It eventually lost interest, which she thanked her lucky stars for. This allowed her a better way to that well!

She ducked under a flying crab and continued running. She pulled out her rolling pin, hoping to find some form of comfort in the object. It.. didn’t work very well.

She stopped in her tracks, and a zombie dove for her. She jumped out of the way and let it fall.

She gripped the pin in her magic tighter, and sweatdropped.

The zombie stood back up, and charged her once again. She yelped, closed her eyes, and didn’t watch as the rolling pin smacked its head with a ‘SPLURCH’.

She held down her lunch as she watched it crumble to the floor.

No time to stand around. That blue pony could very well be bleeding to death.

She ran off, desperately trying to take her mind off of what she had just done. She had basically killed a pony.

But.. Princess Celestia said not to hold back.

So it’s okay, right?

She gulped-

“Wait, so, you killed one of those zombie guys?” I asked, scratching my head. This kid?

Moonlight nodded. “Yes, I did. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to continue the story you asked for.” She shot back.

I blushed, “Right, sorry.”

“Anyway, as I was saying..”

She gulped, realizing that her princess had told her to.. kill. Her loving, caring, Princess.

Well, indirectly. But still!

Princess Celestia wouldn’t say something like that. Unless she really meant it.

So it’s fine. It’s all fine.

Moonlight shook her head, and dodged another of those crabs. She could see the well from here.

She just had to-

SPLASH

She squealed as she narrowly avoided getting hit by the same toxic mucus.. the same toxic mucus that damaged that pegasus. She turned to the direction it came from and saw one of those.. stupid, bull.. squid, things.

She turned to run away, but saw another one blocking her path.

Seeing no options left, she did the only thing she could do.

Raise up her rolling pin, and do.. damage. Painful, agonizing damage.

She saw one of them raising its head to shoot, and she yelled. She ran at it top speed, and smashed the pin as hard as she could into its head. A few more smashes did the job, as it fell over; dead.

She turned to the other one, and noticed it slowly backing away. She growled, and charged.

..

She wiped the sweat from her brow, and nodded. A job well done. Those things wouldn’t bother anypony anymore.

She continued walking to the well, completely un-interrupted. She reached the well, tossed the rope down, and pulled Rainbow Dash out.

...

“That’s it.” Moonlight said, eating a sandwich she had packed.

I put a hoof to my chin. “How much of that was actually true?” I asked, smirking.

She blushed. “W-What? All of it!” Moonlight whined.

“Show me the rolling pin.” I said.

She looked away. “It broke on the way here. I threw it away.”

I chuckled.

“Sure.”

“Man, what a stupid puzzle!” I said as I smashed my hand into the control center, pressing the final button. “Am I glad I’ll never have to write a report on it or something. That’d take forever! Describing the ins-and-outs and shit like that. I’d much rather do an essay on theoretical physics. I majored in that, you know!”

Spike chuckled with me. “Yeah, definitely. I’d hate to do a friendship lesson on this. And yes, Gordon. I know you studied theoretical physics.” His smile slowly faded. “Say, what do we do-“

A giant crystal came forth from the right side of the contraption, and fully extended. After that, each individual laser turned off, and a giant laser shot from the crystal; powering up the teleporter completely.

I turned to my left, and noticed the open door. “I think we have to jump into that ball thing.” I theorized, putting a hand to my chin.

“Really?” Spike asked, just as skeptical as I was.

I nodded.

“Okay..” He muttered, pulling out his glock. We had found another one on the way over here, and believe it or not, he’s actually a pretty good shot!

I know! Someone who’s held a gun once in his life! Crazy.

But whatever. Not important. There’s a world to save.

I walked over to the opening, and walked out into the crystalline-scape. I walked along the path of yellow crystals, until I came across the metal sheet that allowed me to jump into the floating ball.

This little interior room wasn’t much to write home about. Just a bunch of crystals and a giant floating death ball; the usual.

I turned to Spike, and motioned for him to go. His eyes widened and he frowned.

“No, not again man! You do it! I went first last time!” He yelled, crossing his arms.

I groaned. “Ugh, fine. If you wanna be a piss-baby about it.” I muttered that last part.

“Nope, not gonna work.” He said, turning away from me.

I exaggerated a frown, but turned to the teleporter.

I stepped back, got a running start, took a giant leap..

And clenched my toes.

PSSHHHEEWWWWW

BRRRZZZAAAPPP

ZAP-ZIPPP

PHWOOM

“AND.. YOU.. CANNOT.. WIN..”

And landed face first into the floor.

Damn it.

But, haha! Spike did too.

“Damn it!” He yelled.

“Same.” I muttered, holding back a snort.

Wait, what the hell did that guy say? You cannot win? What does that mean?

Who even was that?

“Woah, new area.” Spike said, pushing himself off the floor and standing up. He gave me a claw and I stood up myself.

Eh, whatever. It’s probably one of those cocky ‘I’m gonna kick your ass’ type of aliens. They’re usually the ones that I can beat easily.

The area we found ourselves in wasn’t too exciting, either. The cave structure was interesting though. Instead of a rocky surface, it was a bunch of square shaped rock formations. There was a tiny window on the right side of the cave I could look out of, but I couldn’t fit through it.

Bummer.

The path on the left was open though, and that lead to more cave. Inside that part was a sick-ass waterfall and a river, which we totally followed.

Did NOT drink the water. Even if I wanted to.

Spike made sure I didn’t.

I made a flying leap to another raised platform, but just jumped off afterwards because the river lead to a bigger area. We followed this one for a while, and I moved away some cobwebs from a pod.

Nothing inside. Great.

We continued our trek through this area, and came upon a large expanse. There were some crystals sitting around, a floating island with a healing pool, and what looks like a death-claw coming from the ground. Awesome.

“You need any health?” I asked, pointing to the aforementioned floating island.

Spike looked towards me, and nodded. “Yeah, I’m kinda low.” He said.

I nodded my head towards it and he boost-jumped to it. I followed afterwards. Couldn’t hurt to get a little more life juice.

I landed in the blue liquid and sighed in relief, closing my eyes. Man, that feels good.

“Hey, what’s this do?” Spike asked.

I cracked open an eyelid and saw him pointing at an orange crystal on a pedestal. The hell?

I raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know. Touch it, see if it does anything.” I said, standing and walking up to him.

He tapped it lightly, and it began moving downwards.

“Oh shit! What did I just do!?” He yelled, starting to panic.

I put up my arms. “Hey, hey! Calm down. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” I muttered, seemingly chilled out.

Truth be told, I was as worried as he was.

After nothing happened for 30 seconds, we both let out a breath. That’s a relief.

I walked around the small island, and over to another one of those pods. I punched it and the top flew off, spreading out five lit flares.

A bunch of.. rockets?

Gee, thanks. I don’t have a rocket launcher. These help!

I jumped back to the mainland, and began walking around, looking for any useful supplies. Something tells me.. that something is going to occur. And it ain’t gonna be good.

It’s just one of those feelings, you know?

Behind a cave wall, I found another one of those pedestals. I tapped it, and it went down again. I feel like I should keep doing that.

This feels.. puzzle-y.

I found the next one, over by the waterfall. I tapped that too.

“He-“

I turned to talk to Spike, only to notice that he wasn’t with me. Odd. Where did he run off to?

“Spike?” I called out.

“Over here!” He yelled back. Oh, he’s over by that death-claw thing.

Suddenly, right next to me, a green flash appeared and an item fell to the floor. A bunch of lit flares popped out.

I walked over to it, getting a closer look. A simple cardboard box.

I opened it up, and smiled at what was inside. Two crossbows and a shit ton of ammunition.

A little note was with it.

“Good luck, Freeman and Spike!

-Celestia.”

Oh, sweet!

I grabbed the crossbow and put it on my hook. I picked up the box and ran to Spike.

“Hey, Spike!” I yelled.

He looked over to me, “Hey, I found another one of those pedestal things.” He mentioned.

“Okay cool. Anyway, look at what Celestia gave us!” I said excitedly, setting down the box. He looked inside and grinned.

He grabbed 10 magazines, and I grabbed 10 too. There were 20 in all. A perfect split.

After putting the magazines in my pouch, I turned to Spike. “So where was that pedestal?” I asked.

“Oh, right! It’s right here.” He pointed to a single crystal, illuminated by a green light.

I touched it, and it sunk down.

Suddenly.. everything began shaking.

And..

Gonarch.. crawled out from the floor.

No.. she’s.. she’s here too?

I was unable to move.

I was paralyzed in fear.

And suddenly, the worst possible thing happened.

An identical one crawled out with it.

Two of them..

They squealed, and began to charge.

But it was for naught.

The ground began to shake, and a giant red tentacle burst forth from the floor. It enraptured Gonarch 1 in its grasp.. and threw it off the island.

It did the same with the other one, and the mysterious tentacle came out from the ground.

It revealed itself to be..

A fifty-foot tall Bullsquid.

It roared, and I could swear that.. at that moment..

My life flashed before my eyes.

Author's Note

woulda finished and uploaded yesterday but I had a killer headache. Sorry.

Love you, and..

Thanks for reading!

The Battle of the Centur-! Week.

“Hey, Gordon?” Spike squeaked out.

“Yeah?” I replied.

“What do we do?” He asked, gulping.

I pulled out my Glock, and raised it up with shaking hands.

BANG!

The bullet struck one of its face tentacles, and..

“skKRRRRAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

It squealed, and began charging at a million miles per hour.

“FUCK!” I yelled, quickly jump-boosting away from the charging bullsquid. Spike followed suit, going in the opposite direction. It ran to where we were and flipped up its head like it was trying to pierce us with horns or something, or maybe use its head as a blunt weapon.

Like a.. bull.

Ohhhhh....

I landed roughly on my back, rolling backwards a couple feet. I tilted to roll over onto my legs and stood straight when they landed. I put out my arms to balance myself and waited for all movement to cease. When it did, I looked over at the giant beast.

I pulled out the Glock and shot it’s body.

It stayed where it was, but began turning around.

So.. shooting it’s tentacles made it yell and charge. But maybe that was because it saw us.

And.. a body shot did nothing. Except maybe make it a little annoyed.

Hold on..

I pulled out my crossbow and looked into the scope. I calculate the distance with the scope lines, and fired at one of its more ‘stationary’ tentacles.

“SKREAAHHH!!”

There’s our answer.

It turned towards me and charged, which I quickly jumped out of the way of. Once I landed on my damn feet, I began running in the opposite direction. It instantly turned though, and began chasing me. Fuck.

I only have limited boosts before this thing has to charge up again, and the boosts are the only way to stay out of the path of this bastard for long enough to even have a CHANCE!

These two things combined make for a combination that most likely leaves me dead in a ditch somewhere. Or maybe bleeding out on top of a crystal.

“Hey, ugly!” Spike yelled. Spike?

Spike shot his crossbow at the beast, and barely scraped one of its swinging tentacles. But it was enough to get it to notice him.

“Yeah! Over here!” He yelled, waving his arms.

It squealed, and charged again.

I kneeled down to allow myself to both catch my breath, and wait for the boosts to recharge.

Okay... so what’s the best plan of action here? We can’t just play a game of cat and mouse the whole time.

Spike dodged and shot it again, causing it to get even more angered. But.. it was getting hurt. Those tentacles must be an incredibly sensitive spot.

Okay.. maybe a game of cat and mouse WOULD work.

My suit pinged, signifying fully charged boosters. I stood back up, took a deep breath, and ran to where they were. No time to lose.

“Spike!” I yelled, watching him boost out of the way again.

“Yeah??” He yelled back, dodging a- holy shit! That’s a lot of mucus!

I shook off my surprise and raised my voice again. “Shoot it’s tentacles! The body doesn’t do anything!”

“O-okay! Thanks but I kinda figured that out already!” He yelled, barely rolling out of the way of a tail swipe.

Damn, guess he’s right. He DID figure that out already.

Oh well.

I took aim with the crossbow, and shot another tentacle. The beast squealed again and focused its attention back on me, giving Spike time to rest.

Quickly, I pulled back the string and fired again. And again.

I dodged out of the way and fired while flying through the air. As expected, I completely missed. Damn.

I rolled a little bit, but gained traction faster than the previous time. I pressed the button to drop the magazine out of the chamber and pulled out a new one. I shoved it in and pulled back the string, loading the weapon.

I took aim, and fired again.

It stomped its feet twice and charged way faster than it did before. I didn’t have time to move before it crashed it’s head into me.. and threw me hundreds of feet into the air.

Major fracture detected.

Seek medical attention.

HEALTH: 12

...

...I froze, as my ascent began to slow, and I reached my peak.

My body weight shifted, and everything fell into my stomach. I began falling, feeling the wind whip past my ears and deafening me from the pressure.

Well.. I think this is it.

How can I survive this?

There’s N. O. feasible way. I’m boned.

The ground was rapidly approaching, and I could see Spike still fighting the thing. He didn’t have any more boosts, though. He was resorting to just rolling out of the way.

Ope, no. He just boosted.

..These things do charge rather fast.

And there’s the ground.

PSSSSSSHHHHHHH...

Landing Jets Engaged

Huh?

...Landing jets?

..

I’m not dead?

The suit has landing gears?

Since fucking when? I never had these in Black Mesa!

I took way too many falls over there. I sure could’ve used these back then!

Oh, wait. The bullsquid is charging again. Shit!

I immediately boosted out of the way, and landed hard on my back. I rolled a little bit and smashed my head into a protruding crystal.

OW! ALL of that hurt WAY more than it should have!

..wait. I have 12 health.

My eyes widened, and I turned to that healing island.

The bullsquid is blocking my access to it.

He’s teasing me.

I snapped my fingers, and boosted right under it and through it’s legs. It tried to fall to the floor and crush me, but Freeman was faster.

I took one more jump and boosted all the way over to the island. I slammed right into one of the crystals and fell face first into the glorified puddle.

But I could see my counter going up, and I slowly felt my vitality returning. A lot of numbed injuries were less noticeable, and my wrist didn’t feel loose and gross anymore. I had dislocated it, I think.

BSHWHEEEEWMMMM..

PING!

PSHEEWWWW...

That’s the sound of something teleporting, something pinging, and air-pressure being released.

The top to one of those pods smacked me directly on the cranium, causing me to clench my teeth in slight pain. I lifted my head out of the water and stared at the pod.

I got up on my knees and crawled over to it, looking inside.

...Cupcakes?

Really?

I raised an eyebrow, grabbed one out, and began to examine it. Chocolate with.. mint frosting. Didn’t seem poisonous. Smelled fine.

Didn’t seem TOO radiated..

I pulled back the paper and took a bite.

Mmm! That’s really good.

I picked up the note that came with it and read over it.

“Dear Gordon..

Hey! It’s Pinkie Pie! Sorry I couldn’t come on your adventure :( but I had a lot of work I needed to do! I had been putting it off so I could bake cupcakes, but the job I had been putting off was baking cupcakes so in the end it didn’t really matter but then Mrs. Cake got mad at me for making the wrong cupcakes and-

Skipping that..

Anyway, enjoy the cupcakes!

Love,

Pinkie Pie”

Oh, how nice of her.

“AGHHH!!” Spike yelled, catching my attention.

I looked over to where he was and saw him flying through the air, presumably having been headbutt by the squid. As I was.

And there he goes..

All the way up.

I swallowed my cupcake, and took in a deep breath. “SPIKE! LAND ON YOUR FEET!”

“What?!”

“JUST DO IT!”

I sat back down in the water and noticed that my health was at 100. Alright!

I ran and jumped off the island, clenching my toes to boost me. I landed back on the main island and pulled out my crossbow.

“Hey, ugly!” I yelled, and fired at one of it’s exposed tentacles.

It squealed and turned to me. It began running very fast, and I dodged.

“aaaaahhhhHHHHHH!!!” Someone yelled, and then I heard the signature noise of air being forced out of a tight space.

A little ‘Pshew’ you know?

“W-wha-?” Spike asked. “‘Landing Gears’?” He muttered, seemingly not believing that he was still alive. By all means, he should be a pancake on the floor.

He snapped his claws, “That’s how you survived your first faAalll!!” His voice changed octaves in surprise and fear at that last part as he had to jump over a giant swinging tail.

He seemed to remember that I was currently being chased, though, and had an idea.

“Gordon! Keep it still!” He yelled out, beginning to concentrate.

I groaned. How am I gonna do that?

I ceased my own movement, and in surprise, the bullsquid stopped too. It moved forward a step, and all I did was force my feet further into the ground; strengthening my power stance.

It then tilted it’s head like a lost puppy.

I heard a loud ‘Click!’ As the bullsquid was suddenly set ablaze in a burst of green flames.

It stood for a few seconds in shock, but then squealed in agony and began to ran away.

It slammed into a nearby cave wall, destroying part of it. The hole revealed itself to be a deeper cave. The bullsquid shook its head and ran deep inside the opening path.

I turned to look at Spike, knowing he had been the one to set it on fire.

He wasn’t even standing. He didn’t even look ALIVE!

I instantly dropped my train of thought and ran over to him, worried that the latter option might’ve been true. Could that much magic use kill him? That probably could happen. But why would he go that far? Surely he would know the risk.

But Spike is an idiot. Right.

I stopped next to him, and knelt down. I then put my ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat.

Oh, wait. The suit.

I put a finger on his neck and worked to locate the pulse. At first I was worried his pulse had stopped, but then I realized I was just in the wrong spot.

bmp...

..

bmp....

Oh thank god. The man lives!

Dragon?

The dragon lives!

“Hey, Spike?” I asked, smacking his face lightly. “You awake there buddy?” I asked. Yeah, that was kinda an almost tragedy and stuff, but we gotta keep going.

Nothing.

“Come on, man. The bullsquid ran away. We gotta follow it! I had to follow Gonarch to get out of that Xen, I think we have to do the same thing with this guy.”

Nada. No response.

“You’re a real winner, you know that?” I asked, and groaned.

I stood up, bent down, and picked him up. Ignoring the fact that he was incredibly heavy, I was able to somewhat put him on my shoulder.

This.. sucks.

“You know what? Nobody is around.” I realized, snapping the fingers on my free hand. “That dickhead Smith can’t call me ‘Gay-don Freeman’ anymore.” I muttered, and shifted Spike’s weight. I moved his body around and into a bette holding position.

I was now holding him bridal style, which is much easier on my limbs.

Onward!

“Okay, Kid. We gotta get back to the safe-house, so I can get medical attention, and YOU can be.. well, safe.” I explained, walking down the street with Moonlight.

“What?? But, but I wanna stay out here! With you!” Moonlight begged, surprised that I didn’t want her out here for some reason. What did you expect?

“What? Why? It’s horrible out here.” I said, dodging a headcrab as I said that. After ducking under it, I thwacked it out of the air with a tree branch. Why did I use a branch for that?

Well, I lost my baton.

...Rest In Peace, Tonfa.

“Well,” Oh wait she’s speaking again, “I just.. wanna stay out here and fight bad stallions with you. I wanna protect the town! This is my home!” She explained, extending her hooves for emphasis. “Please, just let-“

I sighed, “Look, Moonlight. I know this is your home. I know you want to protect everypony. But you can’t. If you really do want to protect people and help out, they need some more nurses down at the safe-house. And from what I’ve seen.. you’re a pretty accomplished nurse.” I finished, and looked back to my flank. The bandages were well done, the wound was cleaned.. A good nurse, indeed.

She sighed in disappointment. “Okay.. but let me know if you change your mind.”

I chuckled, “Sure, dude.”

“Okay, what else?” Celestia asked, standing outside of the spire door.

“Uh.. maybe they could use some of these!” Luna said, and pulled out a bunch of little gemstones. Some red, some blue, basically just the whole rainbow.

“What are those?” Celestia asked, raising an.. eyebrow.

Luna instantly lost her excited smile. “Really, Tia?” Luna sighed in exasperation.

“What??” Celestia asked, kinda offended.

“You ordered the production of these!” Luna said, not believing that her sister could be this much of a buffoon. How could you forget something like that? “You invented these!”

Celestia’s cheeks turned slightly red and she looked away. “Oh.. uh, did I? Well.. do YOU know what they are?” Celestia asked, turning it around on her.

“Yes, Tia, I do. I was the one who brought them out.” Luna facehoofed.

“Well, tell me. What do they mean?” Celestia asked, putting on a mask of understanding.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

Celestia deflated, causing Luna to once again facehoof.

“These are crystals charged with individual spells. You throw one at a wall, and..”

Luna chucked a red crystal at a nearby wall, and upon impact, it shattered. A tiny explosion then went off. Like someone had thrown a small bomb. No real damage was done to the wall, but it was scorched.

“Woah!” Celestia yelped, surprise at the loud explosion. An artificial explosion, seemingly meant to do harm.. but not to inanimate objects?

Luna nodded, and smiled. “Yep! So, should we give them some of these?” Luna asked, looking over the small pile.

“Uh, yes, we should. Definitely!”

Luna brought over one of the recently created ‘pods’. They worried that the boxes they were using could be destroyed by the radiation; so they quickly crafted these things. They could withstand a ton of radiation, which made them perfect for transport.

She popped off the top, put the crystals inside, wrote a note, and sealed the top. She set the tripwire of flares, and stepped back as she flung the door to the spire open with her magic.

She tossed the pod inside, and the ever-growing teleporter sucked it inside. She quickly closed the door, lest they all get sucked inside.

That thing was like a black hole. And it was.. well, growing! Sooner or later, all of Equestria would be sucked inside!

Well, maybe not. That’s kind of an exaggeration.

Celestia looked over at her sister.

“Aren’t you a little worried about that?” She asked.

“Very.”

Author's Note

adam sandler

Thanks for reading!

Worm.

“COPYRIGHTED LYRICS! CEASE AND DESIST ALREADY IN ACTION!” I sung to myself as I walked through the damp caves. Without Spike to talk to (As he’s still asleep in my arms) [Okay no that sounded weird] it’s really boring in here.

I’m just looking for...

What should I name that bullsquid? Greg.

No, not actually.

See, I named the headcrab ‘Gonarch’ because it went off of ‘Gonads’ and she looked like she had a giant testicle.

Funny, Gordon. Good one.

But I wanted it to sound cooler than just gonads, though, so I added the ‘Arch’.

But what should I refer to the bullsquid as?

Tentacles..

Big..

How about I just call it ‘Kraken’ and move on with my life?

Yeah. Good choice, me.

“Wait, whats this?” I asked out loud, looking at a floor made of.. something.

When I get bored enough, I kinda start talking to myself. It’s not weird!

It’s weird.

Anyway.. this looks kind of like.. spiderwebs. I can see through it, it doesn’t seem to be a very safe surface to stand on. But the path ends here. There’s no split.

It’s cross this and hope it works, or.. die of starvation alone. I choose option 1.

I took two steps onto the mysterious substance before it broke, causing me to begin a free-fall. I started to yell in a panic, but stopped when I remembered that I had landing gears.

PSHEEWWW..

Okay, so, new area. Stalactites hung from the ceiling, weird little magic bubbles floated about, gear from Black Mesa was strewn around the room, and a large river was the center of it all.

To be honest, the river was beautiful. For an alien planet, this place sure can do beauty well.

But what caught my eye was a green symbol that someone had spray-painted on a wall. I set Spike down and walked over to it, inspecting the mysterious symbol. It’s.. an X. Like, X marks the spot, I guess. Is this important somehow?

Beep

Oh, is that C4? Interesting.

I think I know what I’m supposed to do here.

I followed the wires connected to the bombs, all the way back to a push lever.

“Did somebody say Boom?” I quoted, and pushed the lever down. I covered my ears, and waited out the inevitable explosion.

Beep

Beep

Beep beep beep!

BOOOOOMMM

I took my hands off my ears and held them in front of my face to block the shrapnel from hitting me, and slowly put them down as the dust cleared. I had blown a hole in the wall. Good.

I retrieved Spike’s dead-to-the-world body and continued on my way, only stopping once to scratch my nose on a crystal. After being zapped by it, I realized that I probably shouldn’t touch those things.

...

...

Off-topic thought, but does anybody actually eat mayonnaise?

Like, really. Does anybody eat it? It certainly isn’t worth eating.

My whole life, I never ate mayonnaise. My father always made sandwiches without it because he hated it. I guess it never grew on me, though, because I hate it too.

But.. how could anybody like mayonnaise? Seriously.

“Hey, Spike? Do you like mayonnaise?” I asked, shaking him slightly.

I looked down at him and waited for a reply. Anything.

Just give me something, man.

“N-no..” he whispered, but didn’t open is eyes. Holy shit! He’s alive!

I smiled slightly. Good to know he’s okay.

But also, Haha! Spike may not be awake, but my theory is correct! Mayonnaise is bad.

He had told me that dragons can eat pretty much anything, even if it tasted like shit. This means that mayonnaise is worse than shit. Take that, people who enjoy mayonnaise. Nasty.

No offense to anybody that enjoys mayonnaise. That was just a joke. I swear.

God, I need to stop talking to myself. This is becoming concerning. At first it was a coping mechanism, but now I do it when I’m bored. That cannot be good character development. I should probably go-

Argh, I’m doing it again!

“You’re an idiot.” Luna deadpanned. “That will never work. Not in a million years. I will never even RISK doing that!” She yelled, becoming quite angry.

“But, Auntie-“ Blueblood started, but was cut off.

“But nothing! We are NOT sending survivors through that portal.” She stated with finality.

“But Freeman is taking too long! What if he died? If we just send the peasants-“

Luna slapped Blueblood across the face, drawing the attention of everypony in the vicinity. He held his head with a hoof as he looked incredulously at his Aunt.

“You will not EVER.. refer to the survivors of a traumatic experience as.. peasants.”

Blueblood shivered at the sheer malice in her tone.

“I oughta send you to the moon, Blueblood.” Luna whispered and quickly turned around, storming off. “Faust knows you could USE IT!”

Blueblood’s ears lowered to his head, and he turned towards the spire door.

He sat in silence for a little bit, but then sighed.

“Maybe.. maybe it’s time I do something worth-while.”

He opened up the door, but was immediately sucked inside the portal due to its massive size. Increased size meant an increased gravitational pull.

Upon reaching the other side, he was mauled by headcrabs and died a painful death.

“What the fuck do I do?!” I yelled out, completely trapped in this room.

It can’t be a dead end. All of this is designed a certain way, and for a certain reason. Each animal makes its way through this place; this is their home. Why would this room just be a dead-end? Everything has been rather linear so far. I know how these things work. I need to solve some sort of puzzle.

But what do I do? What puzzle is there to solve?

“Man, when I get out of here, I am writing a walkthrough brochure. ‘Hey, come see Xen! You might die, but whatever. Here’s how to solve cave puzzle #22. Insert 2 coins for solution. Insert one coin for hint.” I joked, all the while running a hand through my hair because of my complete and utter confusion. And anger. And contempt.

Man, I hate puzzles.

“Okay, plan Z.” I muttered.

I pulled out my MP5 and-

Damn.. it. I don’t HAVE an MP5.

See, Plan Z consists of randomly firing at places, hoping that some sort of switch activates or a wall breaks or something. It’s worked in the past, but it’s usually ineffective and just a waste of ammo. Which is why it’s Plan Z. It’s never the first option, but if everything else has been tried-

RUMBLE....

BRRRZZZAAAPPP

ZAP-ZIPPP

PHWOOM

Who’s teleporting? What’s teleporting?

..nothing is appearing.

As I was thinking on this, the rumbling from the teleportation (At least I think that’s where it came from. Why did that happen, anyway?) caused a few rocks to fall from the ceiling.

The rocks struck a nearby fungus-type thing, and it began shooting out flames.

“OH SHit what the fuck!” I yelled, jumping away from it. I quickly pat out the flames on my suit, and stood still in shock at what had just happened.

These things.. shoot fire?

There are more of them, aren’t there?

I think I just figured out the puzzle.

I ran out into the next connected room and shot the fungus that was next to the string wall. I hadn’t been able to get past it before, but maybe the flames can- Yep. The entire eastern starboard was caught up in flames.

I stepped away slowly as I began to sweat from the intense heat.

When it was over, I smiled, as I was no longer trapped in the same damn room. Freedom never felt this good!

Well, the American Revolution was pretty good. Ah, no. They didn’t fight aliens.

Freedom has never felt this good!

I ran back, picked up Spike, and began crawling through cave #2463. I shot another fungus, but froze when I heard creaking.

And a slight rumbling.

As soon as the rumbling started, it ended. And before I could think of getting the hell out of dodge, the roof caved in.

Well, that’s what I thought happened. What actually happened was Kraken breaking through the dirt and stone to try and kill my ass. I dodged one of its tentacles as it tried to eat me whole, but nearly tripped on my own feet. I righted myself and began thinking.

“What to do, Freeman. What to do..” I asked myself, starting to panic slightly.

I thought of tossing Spike out of my arms so I could have better movement, but I realized that he would be killed if I did that.

He’s defenseless right now, and I need to protect him with my life.

Kraken, realizing it wasn’t getting anywhere, moved away from my position. Where it went? I don’t know. I think it burrowed back into the walls.

Damn worm.

I looked out of a hole in the wall and saw what looked like a big arena with a split down the middle. Two sides separated by a huge abyss. That would have been a good place to fight, but I don’t bet on Kraken letting me take him on over there.

I shot another fungus, and took notice of the Black Mesa pod at the end of the tunnel.

And upon seeing what was inside, I grinned.

I set Spike down, and wiped my brow. Jeez. Heavy guy.

Anyway..

I pulled out the RPG with excitement, and rubbed my hand across the side of it. Clean.. pristine.. those mean the same thing.. green.. oh, how I missed you, missile launcher. I made a show of hugging it and giving it a small kiss.

Not weird.

I grabbed the extra ammunition it came with, and ran out of the nearby opening.

A big place, this was. Very open. Crystals dotted many of the surfaces, whether they be yellow or blue. These annoying-ass wires were everywhere though, but I could ignore them.

As stated previously, a huge abyss separated two sides.

I sat on one side, while another side in front of me would have housed.. probably Gonarch. But she died. So maybe Kraken will-

“SKREEEEE!!!!” Kraken squealed as it burst out of the wall on the other side, and shot a giant glob of radiative mucus at me. I dodged quickly, and aimed my rocket launcher.

I shot it, and piloted the missile to be a direct hit at its tentacles. Upon contact, the missile exploded. She squealed, and burrowed back into the wall.

I reloaded the weapon, and waited.

“SKREEE!!!!” She squealed, and burst forth from another part of the wall.

CLUNK

PSHEWWWW

BOOOMM

“SKREEE!!”

She burrowed back into the wall, and I reloaded.

This process repeated two more times, until I noticed I was out of ammunition. I ran back to that pod, but it didn’t have any extra. Fuck!

I ran back to the fight, pulling out my glock. But as I attempted to do so, I tripped on one of those fucking wires.

I turned around angrily, but then realized that it went on for a while. What are these for?

I stood up slowly, and began to follow them. I turned into a cubby-like cave, and noticed that the wire led to an explosive push-lever.

Oh.

I pushed down on it, and some C4 beeped in the distance. They flashed green, and exploded a nearby wall.

So.. all that ammo was probably wasted, wasn’t it? Did I do any damage? Was it even necessary?

I shook my head. Whatever.

I wiped my eyes from dust and slowly walked out of the cubby. Bad move, as I was instantly splashed with a shit ton of radioactive mucus.

“Warning, hazardous chemical detected.”

Gee, thanks, suit!

Thankfully though, none hit my face. It did hit my suit however, which did both damage to me and took down some of the battery. Wonderful.

I groaned, and walked back to the pod where Spike sat.

Is he really still asleep?

“Spike.”

He is.

I sighed, and picked him up. I walked out of the cave and over to the new cave. AKA, the same damn cave. Just in a different spot.

I ended up on the other side, and shot two barnacles with my crossbow. Honestly, at this point, I’m apathetic towards the old aliens. Kraken is really only the one that could be a threat to me, and I have him under control pretty good.

SPLAT

More mucus, oh, AND the surface I was standing on broke. Cool. More string.

The landing gears engaged as I slammed into the floor. I turned towards the other wall, and noticed Kraken burrowing out from it again.

I pulled out my pistol and shot two bullets at its tentacles. It squealed and burrowed back in. Okay, not my problem for about.. 10 seconds.

Oh fuck. 10 seconds.

I ran as fast as I could towards the other end of this pathway, lucky that said pathway even existed. I totally could’ve died there.

I barely had time to admire the blue mushrooms though, because I was running for my life.

“Woah!”

I skidded to a halt as I almost ran off the edge of a cliff.

I took deep breaths, trying not to panic. Why am I panicking now? I was so calm and collected before.

Oh, it was probably because I scared myself with the 10 seconds thing. That’s cool. Real manly, Freeman.

I wiped my brow, and took notice of the platform on the other side of the pitfall. It was illuminated by a blue crystal.

I took a step back, ran, leaped, clenched my toes, and then tried in vain to land straight. Didn’t work out.

“Ouch!” I yelled out as I came into contact with the rough crystal. These things don’t make good landing pads.

“You okay?” I asked Spike. Still asleep. Cool.

I sighed, and began running up a steep hill. As I did, the cave slowly got smaller and smaller. I ran by a giant blue crystal, but slowly walked back when I felt that it was one of those ‘Energy for your armor’ crystals.

I waited until my armor was full, and went back on my way towards victory.

...

I stepped onto a bush as I looked around the arena-esque area. This one was actually pretty similar to the other one, but it was a lot less spacious.

I did spot those fungi, though, and that means some sort of puzzle is involved.

Don’t wanna do that. Again. I hate puzzles. Did I mention that I hate puzzles?

You know, I probably didn’t need to shoot ALL of them and cause a maze of fire, but what’s life without some adventure?

I stepped past the remnants of what used to be a wall of string, and admired the new area. There were these cool little purple butterflies that flew around, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t want one as a pet.

I ignored the urge, though, and walked around a rather big spire. I spotted some Black Mesa gear, but I also spotted the holy grail.

The love of my life.

A healing box.

I ran up to it excitedly and put Spike down next to it. I opened up his compartment and pulled out the input tube. I fiddled with it (accidentally dropping it. Smooth) and shoved it inside the hole, which opened up the keypad. I typed my ID in, and it recognized it. Soon, morphine.. or, healing juice began pumping into his bloodstream.

I stood up, and looked around. “Hopefully this work-“ I started, but was interrupted by something tackling me to the floor.

I’m getting rather tired of that.

I pushed back the zombie, and punched it in its stupid head. It squealed and clutched it, which gave me the chance to pull out the pistol and blast its head off. It fell off of my body with a quiet ‘whump’ and I stood back up.

“I’m the king of the world, man.” I whispered.

The healing was finished, so I unplugged the cord and shut the flap. I put the cord back in the suit pocket and slapped Spike’s head lightly.

No brain. Head empty.

...Until he woke up with a loud gasp.

Author's Note

Blueblood’s death was purely to fuel the plot and help Gordon. He had no real purpose here.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I love y’all, and...

Thanks for reading!

Chase You

“Spike? Spike!” I yelled as I leaned down next to him. He began to cough violently, and I pat his back. “You alright? Come on, buddy. You’re okay.”

He coughed one last time, and rubbed his throat. “Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just felt like there was some dirt in my lungs.”

SKRREEE!

A bunch of dirt breaks off from the walls and lands on Spike.

“Oops!” I say as I wipe it off.

“That’s probably because there was dirt in your lungs.” I muttered.

He looked to the floor, “...Oh.”

I nodded, “Yeah. Anyway, you ready to get going, or do you want to rest some more? I don’t blame you if you do, but we’re on a timer here. Rest is optional, but not recommended.” I said, kinda hoping he’d say no to resting.

Trust me, I want to lie down and go to sleep forever, but that’s not a good move.

“I’m ready to get going. You got any water, though?” He asked, using a hand I put out to stand up.

I shook my head. “Nope, sorry. We might get some eventually, though. We’ve been getting care packages from the other side.” I explained, beginning to walk with him into another cave.

“Well, lets just hope they can infer that, yeah?” He chuckled slightly, but it turned into nervousness quickly.

We are not confident that they will remember people need water to survive.

“Do you think they need water or anything, Tia?” Luna asked, tearing off some duct tape and patching up a broken pod.

Celestia put a hoof to her chin in thought. “...Maybe, Luna. Gordon’s suit looks impressively designed, and looks like it would have everything a pony could ever need.. but I doubt he has a water pocket on it, or anything of that sort. I suggest we send them a few bottles of water.”

Luna nodded, and put the last piece of duct tape on the pod. “Good idea. They’re probably dying of thirst.” Luna muttered, levitating over 3 bottles of water. She put it in the pod, and turned on the airlock.

She flung open the door, tossed it in, and quickly slammed it shut.

Afterwards, she groaned as she readjusted her ruffled mane.

“You know, they’re smarter than I thought.” I muttered as I opened bottle of water with a crack. I tilted my head back as I downed the whole thing in one go, smacking my chest with a closed fist afterwards.

I looked over at Spike as he did the exact same thing.

“What do you mean?” He said, and wiped his mouth. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are the brightest ponies in the land. They know all.”

“That seems like a hunk of baloney,” I muttered as I shot a bullsquid with a crossbow. “But what do I know? I don’t live in pony world.”

Spike’s eyes widened and he grinned, “Hey, you didn’t call it horse world!”

Shit.

I clicked my tongue. “Did I call it pony world? I meant horse world.”

Spike shook his head. “Asshole..” He muttered, and chuckled lightly.

“Yeah but you love me for it.” I said, and shot another bullsquid. I kicked its corpse over as I stepped into the pool of blue, electric liquid, feeling the chills over and across my body as I began to heal.

Spike stepped in as well, and let out a sigh. “Man, these things are better than drugs.” My eyes widened at that and I stared at him.

“You got drugs in horse world?” I asked.

He raised an eyebrow, despite not having eyebrows, “...yeah? Why, did we seem that ‘Family-friendly’ to you?” He asked, no malice present in his tone, just curiosity.

I looked away, and coughed. “Very much so.”

He rolled his eyes, and looked at an imaginary camera. Did he just do the sitcom thing?

How the fuck..?

I shook my head. Stop thinking about things, Gordon. Focus on what’s in front of you. Don’t focus on what’s behind you, or what’s next to you. Stay in the present.. and your life will be a whole lot easier.

Okay, now that I’m in the present..

“So where is this guy, anyway?” Spike asked. Huh? “And what are we calling him?”

Oh. “His name is Kraken, and he’s..” I stopped, and began to look around. “Somewhere. He pops out of the walls.” I explained.

Spike stared at me incredulously. “Really? This guy just.. comes out of the walls?”

I nodded.

He put a claw to his head, and had a momentary existential crisis. While he did that, I pat his back twice and continued walking. Spike caught up soon after.

“This is great. Wonderful. A giant monster that we can’t even SEE is coming to kill us and we’re just.. what..”

He shook his head and growled. “What are we doing?!” He yelled, and punched a wall.

“Hey, hey!” I raised my voice a bit, putting out my arms. “Calm down a little. We’re just continuing on the journey. If he pops up, we’ll deal with him. For now? Just focus on what’s in front of you.” I said, repeating the mantra I used on myself to comfort him a little.

He hit a fist to his head repeatedly. “Ugh!! Buck, man! This is stressful.”

“Cheers to that.”

I ducked my head low as the path began to get more narrow. The crystals jut out from the walls, and I had to avoid cutting myself on them. Well, cutting the suit. Whatever.

I hopped out on the other side, and into a weird.. circular room. There are a bunch of crystals congregated into the center, but there’s also a dirt formation that keeps them there. The ceiling is made of that gross spiderweb stuff, and the floor is super uneven. I keep tripping over my own feet.

Upon exploring this room, I came across one of those dead HEV guys. All he had on him was a battery for the suit, which I gave to Spike.

But.. I also noticed the C4 on the wall, which lead me to this... familiar object. Another lever.

“Cover your ears.” I said, and pushed it down.

The wall exploded, clearing us a path out of here. Thank the lord.

I ducked down and crawled into the tiny space, which opened up afterwards.

As I walked by a tiny spiderweb opening, a giant tentacle shot out from it. I jumped backwards in alarm, but it didn’t do much except sit there. It didn’t try to attack, it didn’t spit acid, and it didn’t pull out a revolver and shoot me.

“What the Tartarus?” Spike asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is this that giant bullsquid?” He muttered, and reached out a hand.

“I... think so.” I muttered.

“Should I touch it..?” He asked.

“...sure.”

As soon as he touched it, it went back inside the hole.

I shook myself off. That was weird.

“That was weird.” Spike whispered.

“My thoughts exactly.” I replied.

We continued on our path, occasionally looking at the neat crystals lining the walls. We came across another one of those fungus things, and I turned to Spike.

“Hey, check it out.” I said, and pointed to the fungus.

He looked over at me, and I pulled out my crowbar. I walked up to it, pulled my arm back, and smacked the plant. It let out a long stream of fire, melting the spiderweb material.

The path opened into a very large area, but we didn’t get to admire it long.

“SKREEEAAAA!!!”

There he is.

I turned to my right, and saw his giant form coming out of the wall. I assumed he was stuck, so I didn’t really do anything at first.

But when I saw him break free and begin chasing us, THAT’S when I began to run away. Spike didn’t have the same plan, though. Or maybe he did. He was frozen. Gotta move though, buddy!

“Spike, come on!” I yelled, grabbing his arm. He snapped out of it and began running with me, shaking my hand off. We dashed into a cave, but our escape plan was cut short by about 5 houndeyes.

I pulled out my Glock and was able to do two shots before the magazine emptied. I pressed the release, threw it away, pulled out a new one, put it in, and pulled back the slider. It snapped into place and I began firing again.

But despite my best efforts, there were simply too many, and too little bullets.

When it ran out of ammo, I put my empty glock away and pulled out the crossbow.

Much easier to kill with, but harder to reload. Pros and cons.

The last one began charging up its attack, but Spike was able to get the last shot in. It whimpered as it went straight to hell.

As every houndeye lay dead, I momentarily forgot why we were in the cave in the first place. Until I heard another squeal and saw the bullsquid coming closer.

“Oh yeah.” I quickly muttered, and began running away once more. I wish I could fight this thing instead of running away, but running just seems to be the best option. It may be the pussy way out, but I’d rather be a pussy than dead.

I shot a fungus and ran through the flaming webs. I didn’t have time to wait. I quickly pat out the fire and continued on, where I immediately fell off a ledge and into a watery surface.

I slowly pulled my ass out of the water, and admired the scenery. This room was very.. purple. Rock pillars came up from the ground, with purple crystals protruding from them. The roof was high, and this place looked kinda.. maze-y. I hope that isn’t the case, though.

I walked up to some more Black Mesa gear, and instinctively pushed down the explosive lever. A nearby wall of crystal shattered, allowing us entry to the next part of the cave.

“SKREEA!!!” There it is.

It shattered another wall of crystal behind us, and I had to start running once again. I’m getting kind of tired, not going to lie. My stamina isn’t the best.

I boost-jumped across a pit, and rolled when I landed. I let out a breath as the momentary pain took over, but the adrenaline soon made me feel nothing. I boosted a couple more times trying to get away, but eventually we came to a dead end.

“Where do we- this way!” Spike yelled, pointing at a wall of crystal. What the fuck do you-

Wait! There’s an opening!

I ran, but Kraken thankfully got too close and gave me a head-start by headbutting me straight into the crystal wall. How nice of him.

You know, major fracture detected. No big deal.

I boosted away quickly, and ran into the new room. Same old same old, but this time I noticed a lot more wires and C4 explosives.

Not wasting any time, I ran around the island and up the hill. I boosted across the gap, and then took it slow going up the skinny pathway. Spike had the same idea.

The path opened up more, and I began running again. I dashed across a path of what looked like fallen pillars, but don’t quote me on that. They could’ve been anything.

I stood tall at the top, but didn’t care about the scenery up here either. I just needed to find the lever.

I followed the linear path and found it. I smashed it down, and a nearby structure exploded. A crystal from the ceiling came down on top of Kraken (hell yeah) which caused him to run away in pain.

I stood at the top of the mountain and was about to jump off, but realized how utterly stupid that is. That’s a guaranteed death.

I can’t go back the other way, though. That would take too long!

...

I took notice of the wire, and a plan formed in my head.

I moved the explosive lever off of the Black Mesa gear, and opened up the tote. I pulled out a tent bag and unzipped it, taking out the tarp. I took the tarp and made it much skinnier and smaller. About the size of a sock, roughly.

“Do what I just did, and follow my lead.” I said to Spike, motioning towards the bag.

I ran, and I jumped off the mountain. I put my tarp-sock on top of the wire, and I zip-lined down to the floor. I let go at the last second, and did a roll to use my momentum to stand back up.

I stood still, letting the realization of what I just did soak in.

That was fucking sick..!

I looked up at Spike, and he just stood there.

“Come on!” I yelled.

He closed his eyes, seemed to breathe in, and put the tarp-sock-thing on the wire.

He ran, and jumped off the mountain. Halfway through his descent, he smiled and began to laugh.

He fell off, and rolled the same as I did. But he kinda messed it up.

He stood up quickly, dusted himself off, and grabbed my shoulders.

“That was amazing!” He said excitedly. “Where did you learn that?” He asked, still smiling.

“...Video games I played as a teenager.” I responded, coughing into my hand.

“What’s a video game?”

“Applejack, everything okay in here?” I asked, opening the main door to the safehouse.

Applejack looked over to me, and smiled. “Rainbow! Just the mare Ah wanted ta see.” She said, putting down a clipboard. She walked over to me and put a hoof on my shoulder. “Rainbow, that Moonlight filly you brought in is a natural. She’s been able to know exactly what any pony with ANY injury needs, and what they could want. She says it’s because she read a lot of books, but personally Ah think that’s just a bunch of hogwash. Ah think she’s really just talented.

“Oh, really? She’s that good?” I asked. Didn’t expect that. I knew she would be an okay nurse, but I didn’t know she would be a goddess at it.

Applejack nodded. “Yep! She’s better at nursing than Big Mac is at skipping rope!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Big Mac knows how to-“

“It’s just an expression.” She interrupted.

I put a hoof to my chin. “Huh. Well, that’s interesting.” Suddenly I remembered, “Hey, you’re not showing her anything too bad, are you?”

Please don’t tell me she’s seen death and shit. She’s too young.

Applejack shook her head. “No. She hasn’t seen a single death, if that’s what you’re worried about.” She said, making me let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Thank Celestia...” I muttered. She was just a filly, after all.

“Thank me for what?” A familiar voice said from behind. I turned in surprise and saw the mare herself; Celestia. Surprising.

“Oh, uh, Hey Princess...”

“Hello, Rainbow Dash.”

“Why are you here?” I asked out of habit.

She raised an eyebrow, and I realized my mistake. “Oh, sorry! No offense intended! I was just curious-“

She chuckled, “It’s fine, Rainbow Dash. I just wanted to come see how everypony was doing. Luna is handling the care packages at the moment, so I had some free time.”

“Celestia you bastard!! Come back here and help me!”

“I can still hear her voice, though, so maybe I’ve been spending a little too much time with her.” Celestia smiled knowingly.

I chuckled nervously, worried about what the Moon Princess would do to all of us if she were to come into the safe-house.

“So anyway, how is everypony doing? That’s the main reason I came here, after all.” Celestia asked, getting back on track.

Applejack snapped out of whatever surprised stupor she was in. “Oh, uh, yes! Gimme a second.”

She picked up that same clipboard from earlier, and I saw that it was a status report. Hm.

“Uhm... only one pony has died from his injuries so far. Everypony else is doin’ okay. Some are injured, but they are all recovering quickly.” She read, flipping a few pages.

Celestia frowned, and looked down. “Who.. who passed?” She asked quietly.

“It was a stallion named Hydrochloride.” Applejack said in the same quiet voice.

Celestia put a hoof to her mouth. “I..”

She shook lightly, and a lone tear fell down her muzzle. “No.. this.. nopony was supposed to die. Why have so many of my little ponies been dying?”

I didn’t know what to do. Celestia had never cried in front of me; or anypony else for that matter. And she was just so happy, too! What the Tartarus??

Do I comfort her? Or do I leave her alone? Will she banish me to the moon for leaving her alone?? Will she do it to me for comforting her????

As I’m having an existential crisis, Applejack puts a hoof on her withers to comfort her.

Oh.

Celestia sniffled, realizing that she was around others. “Right. Thank you, Applejack.” She said, and cleared her throat.

“Anytime.” AJ responded.

Celestia stood, and brushed herself off. “Alright, well, that’s all I wanted to know. Thank you, and keep up the good work.” She said, and smiled.

She walked off, leaving me standing there like a goon.

What the buck was that?

Author's Note

“I live.. again!”

Look, imma be real with y’all. I got a huge amount of de-motivation with this chapter. I just could not bring myself to sit down and work on it.

But I did it. I’m alive. The chapters out. Took a year and a half, though.

Tell me of any mistakes, love y’all, and..

Thanks for reading!

Freeman and Spike - Kraken’s Inside Story

“Careful.. he could be anywhere.” I muttered.

I stepped on a branch, and my eyes widened.

Oh, a cliché. Lovely.

“Look out!”

“Shit!” I yelled as I dove out of the way. Quickly righting myself, I pulled out the sword and sliced two of its tentacles off, closing my eyes as the blood splattered all over me. Blech.

The sword clashed hard into the stone floor, and shattered instantly.

At the same time, Kraken squealed and burrowed back into the dirt.

I looked at the handle without a blade, and tossed it to the ground. “So much for ‘reinforced steel’.” I sighed.

Oh, you probably want to know where the sword came from, right?

Well..

“Fuck this guy’s persistent!” I yelled as I turned a corner, and instantly tripped over a pod. “Bitch!”

The airlock shut off, and flares popped out. I didn’t have time to check what was inside of the damn thing, so I just grabbed the pod, stood up, and continued running.

As I ran, I looked down and inside the carrier.

Is.. is that a sword? What the hell?

I pulled out the message attached as I jumped over a headcrab.

“Dear Freeman..

I hope you put this sword to good use. This is the sword I used during the war, over 1000 years ago. Please, please try not to cause any damage to it!

~Princess Luna”

That was really hard to read.

Oh, fuck.

I broke her sword! Shit! She’ll probably kill me or something!

No, no.. you’re being irrational.

Yeah.. irrational.

Let’s just hope she doesn’t get too angry with me and send me to the moon or something, yeah?

Th-That would be ridiculous! No way she would be that angry with little ol’ me-

“Spike look out!” I yelled, cutting off my own train of thought.

“Huh?” He asked, and turned around. Upon hearing me warn of the impending doom, he boosted backwards right as the wall broke open and the tentacles came out.

I grabbed the broken hilt and boosted across the weird spider-web/stone material. When I got near, I popped off the plastic covering on the bottom and slammed the broken sword onto Kraken’s head.

But you see.. I had planned ahead.

I had whittled down the end of the hilt into a makeshift pike while we were waiting for his ass to show up. It was as sharp as a knife.

It stabbed right through the side of his stupid head and stuck in place. I held on for dear life as it squealed, turned around, and burrowed into the dirt.

...and dragged me with it.

“Gordon! What the buck are you doing??” I heard Spike yell, his voice quickly being muffled by the dirt around me. Don’t worry, Spike. I’ve got it all under control.

I spit out a mouthful of dirt as I tried to respond with that. Okay, not doing that again.

Wait, where is he taking-

Pain rippled throughout my back as the kraken slammed its head into the dirt, beginning another tunnel. With me as the leading man. Great.

I never let go of that damn hilt, though. This is an advantage to have.

..is it actually?

Why did I even do this?

What can I gain from this?

As I began pondering my life choices, I felt my brain go into scientist mode. Brain blast.

I have an idea.

I just need to wait for-

I felt light shine on me as the air got colder. He had burrowed back into the room.

“There you are!” Spike yelled.

This is it.

Taking a great chance, I let go of the hilt and stood in front of his face. I took a few steps back, and ran directly at him.

He opened his mouth wide to squeal, and I jumped right in.

...

It was rather dark and moist in here. About what I expected.

And dodging the sharp teeth is not- an easy task! Fuck.

Okay, anyway, I’m inside his mouth. Like you see in all those movies.

Now, all I have to do is cut him open from the inside! I pull out the chainsaw, and I cut him up!

..I do not have a chainsaw. Nor do I have a blade.

I put my face in my hand.

Really, Gordon?

You thought that jumping inside the beast’s mouth to cut it from the inside was a good idea, but you didn’t bring a knife?!

“Real genius plan there, buddy. How long did it take you to come up with that one?” I asked myself out loud, groaning.

“About 30 seconds, sir.” I responded to myself in a mocking voice.

“That explains it.” I replied in my normal voice.

I’ve gone bat-shit insane, and it hasn’t even been a minute yet.

I lied down in this moist prison, but sat back up immediately when I saw that I had laid my head in between his teeth. Okay, Gordon. You’re an idiot and most likely suicidal, but let’s not make any rash decisions here. You don’t want to die. Especially by a monster’s molars.

But how do I get out of here? By shooting at-

My eyes widened, and I pulled open my ammo pouch. I grasped a magazine and pulled it out, ripping an arrow from within the plastic confines.

Sharp, but weak. Flimsy.

It’ll have to do.

I flicked on the suit’s flashlight, and jumped down the esophagus. I rolled and stood back up when I realized that it was more of a pathway, though.

I actually have a plan now.. but it’s gonna be a little hard.

By the way -I can hardly breathe in here. That’s something I should mention. The suit has an oxygen tank it can pump out of the neck holes to give me air, (for situations like this, believe it or not) but it is limited. Right now, it’s at 75 percent. I don’t know how long that lasts, but I have a feeling that it won’t feel that long/BE that long before I fucking croak. I’ve gotta move quick in here.

This bastard tentacle guy is just big enough as to where I can squeeze through his organs, but not big enough for it to not feel claustrophobic. I don’t want to be in here for longer than I have to be. This whole thing makes me nervous..

As I was attempting to distract myself from the current reality, my eyes widened as I took notice of the things around me. Exactly what I didn’t want to do.

..what the fuck was that?

What the fuck is THAT?

What the fuck is any of it?!

Alien organs. Damn. I didn’t take that into account. This isn’t like the human body. Does it even have a heart?

God damn, I hope it’s noticeable if it does. If not, I’m MEGA screwed. It might have one, though. It’s got a rib cage; that of which I can easily break.

As soon as I did, the thing squealed and I fell on my ass. My flashlight shut off quickly after.

I flicked it back on. Nothing.

The battery had died.

This is just great. Everything is always coming up Freeman, you know. I have the greatest luck of our generation.

That’s fucking SARCASM if you couldn’t TELL!

I growled, and felt around. This is stupid as fuck. Why am I in here? Why am I always second-guessing myself? Why can I never come up with a good plan? Why am I covered in blood, why is Eddy Murphy so hilarious, and GOD, FUCK THESE RIBS!

I ripped off another rib in anger.

I seethed for a few seconds, but stopped, and did a deep inhale. The therapist told you that helped. Use what little he told you. Let’s calm down here, Freeman. It’s not the end of the world.

You don’t need to get so angry all the time.

Actually... it is the end of the world. Forget that other thing. But it doesn’t have to be!

You gave yourself an opening. Use it.

I tossed away the rib and jumped onto the next one in line. I put my leg above my head and onto it, and used that as leverage to push myself up. I ducked down to avoid the lungs, and crawled along the ribs as if they were monkey bars.

I’m honestly surprised I can even crawl here. You’d think that it would be a tight fit, but no. It works.

But as soon as I heard a “BMP-BMP”..

I knew I was there.

I looked upwards, and gagged at what I saw. Jesus, this thing is disgusting.

Just kidding. I can’t see anything!

I flicked on my recharged flashlight for a second to get an actual look at it, and I really did gag this time. It was NASTY!

It was purple, and vein-y. It beat in an irregular way, with it looking like a pouch that something was trying to escape from. Like a cat in a bag, if that makes sense. Probably doesn’t.

And geez, let me tell you about the SMELL! Fuck, I’ve been trying to ignore it this whole time but it’s really pushing my limits here. It smells like a mix between copper, ass, and week-old bread.

I want out of here.

But I’m a man on a mission.

I flipped around the arrow in my hand, and gripped it tight. It’s now or never. Do or die, Freeman.

...Why do I call myself that? Is it because everyone else does?

Why do THEY call me Freeman? Is it more effective than just Gordon? Is it because of Morgan Freeman being a household name? That shouldn’t matter. Is it because there are multiple Gordons at Black Mesa? Couldn’t be that. Last I checked, nobody else named Gordon worked at Black Mesa. And hell, I’m pretty sure I’m the only Gordon in pony land!

So why..

Wait, I’m getting off track. Kill the beast, think about your name later!

I took a deep breath, and stabbed upwards. The arrow lodged itself in its heart, and the monster squealed.

Before I could fall down from the turbulence, I tore it back out and stabbed it again. And again.

I pulled it across the surface, tearing the damn thing. A green ooze came from the holes, and I actually fucking puked at the smell. No hesitation on that. There was puke in this thing’s body.

That... was the worst thing I’ve ever smelt in my life.

I wiped my mouth, and removed the arrow.

AGGREEEEEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I gotta move!

I smashed the rib I laid on with my elbow and fell to the floor. I stood up, shook my head, and flicked my flashlight back on.

I began to run across what seemed to be a layer of fat, and went back the way I came. Upon coming across a wall, I took no time to grab another arrow from my pouch and begin scaling the wall.

Stabbing two sharp objects into a surface doesn’t make it very easy to climb, lemme tell you. It’s all in the upper-body, and I am thankful to have been blessed with good upper-body strength. Thanks for that one, Dad. Love ya.

SHRK

CHK

SHRK

CHK

SHRK

CHK

SHRK

CHK

...aaand we’re up!

I breathed heavily as I stood. I need to catch my breath after that. It was all in the upper-body- but that doesn’t mean it was a cakewalk or anything. That was hard as hell.

But no time to stop now. This is no place to die.

I ran with up-most speed and agility, and began to crawl when the ceiling lowered.

dmp

I grunted as I encountered a wall.

T-this wasn’t here before.

No- wait. I’m stupid. These are just teeth.

I turned around awkwardly, and raised my feet. With an exertion of breath, I slammed them forward and into the wall of bone.

A tooth cracked, and I grinned.

Oh yeah. It’s all coming together.

.....

“Gordon, you are actually bucking stupid. What made you think that was a good idea?!” Spike yelled, waving his hands around.

I put up my hands, “Spike, relax! It’s fin-“

DNMP

I laid down in shock as I brought a hand to my cheek.

Did he just.. did he just punch me? What the hell..?

“Shut up! It’s not fine!” He yelled, stomping his foot and huffing, “I thought you were- buck, I thought you were dead! I thought you had enough and just decided to end it! Celestia, Gordon! Do you know how terrifying that is to see?! Your friend just jumping into the enemy’s mouth! Nonchalantly, as well! Like it’s no big deal!”

He stepped over to me. “Well, it IS a big deal, Gordon. You can say it’s fine, but you have NO idea how I felt in that moment. I felt so..” he rubbed his head. “I felt so defeated. I didn’t do anything, while you were gone. I just stood there.”

He groaned. “Gordon, I thought you had killed yourself. I thought you had given up. So.. I did too. I waited for it to..” he sighed. “I waited for it to take me. But it never did.”

“And when it finally burst out of that wall, imagine my surprise when it’s teeth bust open and you pop out. It was dead. You had killed it from the inside.” He chuckled. “I feel silly. Buck, I should’ve known. Your scientific brain had a plan. You would never just kill yourself like that. Nopony would.”

He fell to a seated position on the floor, and raised up a leg, putting his arm on it.

“Sorry for punching you.” He muttered.

I rubbed my cheek, but quickly took my hand off of the sore area. Not important.

I sighed, stood up, and walked over to him.

“Spike.. I get how you feel. You don’t have to feel silly. You don’t have to feel bad. I should’ve told you the plan. I should’ve warned you. That was my bad. I deserve to be punched, maybe more than once. Don’t apologize for wanting to hit me.”

I let out my hand, and he grabbed it limply. I pulled him up and he looked at me. His eyes were slightly glossy.

I put my hand on his shoulder, and he looked down and into my eyes.

“Punch me again.” I said, fully serious. “As hard as you can.”

Upon hearing me say that, he burst out laughing.

...but slowly stopped, as he realized I wasn’t kidding.

“Seriously?” He asked. “I didn’t really hit you that hard the first time.. I’m stronger than you think-“

“Just do it.” I cut him off.

“Gordon, no.”

“Spike..”

“Gordon, I-“

“Spike, do it!”

“N-“

“Spike!”

BWMP!!

Black.

I was knocked out instantly.

From one punch.

“Uh, you gonna wake up?” Spike asked, smacking my face lightly.

...

“Guess not.” Spike muttered. A lightbulb went off, and he grinned.

“Well..” he looked away slyly. “Drastic times call for drastic measures!”

Spike grabbed my legs and dragged me over to the corpse of Kraken. He made sure my head was under the body, and nodded his own head in affirmation. He ran back to a different part of the arena and grabbed a shard of that old sword.

He walked right up Kraken, and..

Swik!

Ksshh..

SPLOOSH!

“AUGH!!” I yelled, waking up immediately. What the hell?! Water?!

I’m under a waterfall!

I moved away from said waterfall, and froze.

It took a minute for me to process it all.

That wasn’t water.

That.. was blood. From Kraken.

Spike is holding a piece of that sword. Did he..

I tasted iron in my mouth, and gagged. “Spike, oh my- oolp what the fuck, man!” I yelled, standing up.

Spike, oh, Spike was enjoying this. He was laughing his ass off at my pain.

Now, it wasn’t bad because it was blood, no, I was fucking coated in it already. You know, from JUMPING INSIDE HIS BODY- but that’s besides the point. I’m in discomfort because of the shock of it all; and the fact that it GOT IN MY MOUTH! Oh my GOD, MAN! That’s fucking SICK!

Spike wiped an imaginary tear away and chuckled. “You should’ve seen the look on your face! Man, that was good.”

“I should have, huh?” I asked sarcastically.

“Yep.. ah. We’re even now, heh.” He muttered, waving a hand.

“You already punched me!” I yelled in reply.

“You asked for that. Doesn’t count.” He said, crossing his arms. My eye twitched.

He was right.

“Well, whatever.” I said, and took a deep breath to quell my anger. “How long was I asleep?”

Spike shrugged. “2 minutes?”

I flinched. That’s it?

“Okay. Well, let’s get going. We can’t stay here forever.” I choked out.

Spike nodded. “Okay, that seems like a good plan. Where do we go, though? There doesn’t seem to be an opening anywhere.” He said, turning his head to look around the room.

This room was small. It was above a different arena we used, but it broke through when Spike jump-boosted really high and fell really hard. That was a little surprising. Who knew that he weighed that much?

I did. He’s heavy. I know from experience with carrying him multiple times throughout this damn journey.

“Wait, I see a branch up there! Maybe I can climb back up! I’m gonna jump up and see if I can grab it-“

FWOOOSH...

“Damn it! Missed.” Spike said, and fell back to the floor.

snap!

My eyes widened, and I put my head in my hands.

He can not be that stupid..

...

“Bitch!” I yelled out as I smacked face-first into the floor.

“Sorry! I didn’t know it would be that fragile! I thought it could handle my weight this time!” Spike yelled, sliding down the side of the wall. “Also, I wasn’t really thinking.” He rubbed his arm, looking at me.

“It looked like it was made of spider-webs; what do you mean you didn’t know? And why would you think that? The bigger floor didn’t support your shit..” I muttered, inspecting my glasses for any damage. Nope. “And the second answer was more what I was looking for.”

I put them back on, and rubbed the frames. Still dirty. Ha, ha.

“Okay you’re right! I should’ve-“

I put a hand up, stopping him from continuing. “It’s fine. No harm, no foul. You probably got us out of eternal hell, anyway. I didn’t see another exit.” I said, pointing above me.

He nodded sheepishly.

I stood up, and retrieved my fallen crossbow. Damn thing slipped off the hook. Looking around this new room, I noticed the pathway that opened over yonder, inside the wall. Like someone took a shovel to it or something.

A natural cave system.

Oh boy. Looks like we’re exploring some more caves. Great.

Although, past the stalactites and the crystals, past the weird architecture and dangerous floor construction.. was another opening. A light at the end of the tunnel, so-to-speak.

The path opened up..

And into a damn paradise.

What looked like a mountain, coated with crystal, sat across a large gap. Floating islands dotted the landscape, and it all looked beautiful with the glow of an orange sunset in the distance.

The words came to me as I muttered them.

“Interloper..” I whispered, taking it all in. Basking in the warmth of this pseudo-heaven.

“Wazzat?” Spike asked, looking over at me.

I snapped out of my momentary trance and quickly responded,

“Nothin’.”

Truly, I had no idea where that word came from.

But it felt right.

Author's Note

Okay look, if you ignore the upload date, technically I was on time.

I’m sorry that this chapter was so late. I’m gonna try to get back into the groove of writing more, but I got hella bad stomach flu for a few days. I was totally bedridden and just wanted to sleep. Life’s been tough recently. Hope you understand.

Also, special news! We’re getting a puppy soon!

I tried to get my family to name her Luna very inconspicuously, but it turns out that’s the most common pet name of 2020 so her name is probably gonna be Rosie or some shit. Anyway, it’s whatever. Just wanted to let you guys know about something I was excited for.

Anyway, I love y’all, make sure to tell me of any mistakes, and...

Thanks for reading!

Friendly Conversation

“Well, I definitely prefer the second film over the first, because at that point-“ I froze.

What the.. hell?

“What the? Why did-“ Spike started, but I instantly slapped a hand over his mouth. He raised his eyebrows in alarm and I shook my head.

I put a finger over my lips to signify that he should not be talking!

He nodded, and I took my hands off of his mouth. “Look.” I whispered, pointing to just what all the hubbub was about.

Spike saw what I did, and he gasped quietly.

“What the buck..?”

He turned towards me, and I shrugged lightly.

It looked like.. a slave camp. Kind of? The vortigaunts were just.. working.

Like, well, slaves!

Wait, what’s happening now?

“Gar jung!” One of them said, throwing away whatever it was holding.

Upon doing so, one of those big guys with the hivehand pressed a button on his wrist.

The vortiguant screamed as what looked like.. electricity, ran through its veins. It grasped at the green jewelry on its neck in a futile attempt to stop its pain. Is that where it’s coming from? Is that stuff an anchor of some sort?

Upon passing out on the floor, the big guy touched the same button and the vortigaunt’s body stopped vibrating.

“Those.. those green things aren’t jewelry, are they?” Spike whispered.

“I.. I don’t know anymore.” I replied.

This.. this isn’t okay.

I’ve been killing these things the whole time.

These.. slaves.

I’ve been killing them.

Shooting them, blowing them up, beating them to death with a crowbar..

“Okay, where on earth do-“ I asked out loud, until..

“Gar jung!”

BZZZZTT!!

“AGHHH!!” I yelled, feeling the excruciating shock of lightning course through my veins. When it ended, I turned to face the source and growled.

Another one of those brown bastards.

I pulled out my Glock, and aimed at the head.

..no.

I aimed at the knees.

I shot twice, blasting both of its kneecaps out. It squealed and fell to the floor, grasping at its broken appendages. I pulled out my crowbar, walked over..

And slammed it right into that bastard’s big red eye.

It’s yells turned into gurgles as it died slowly, and I wiped the green blood from my glasses.

Another day, another dollar.

...

I.. feel.. sick.

I feel.. sick.

I feel sick.

These were just.. just innocent creatures!

Slaves.

Beings that were.. forced into harming others.

They didn’t deserve to die.

They were probably intelligent enough to have a conversation, if the “Gar jung”’s were anything to go by. They have a language. I could’ve listened to it, I could’ve helped remove the braces. I just had to stop and PAY ATTENTION!

Freeman, you fucking, brain dead idiot!

Your first instinct was violence! Why!?

Sure, you were on edge. Your friends have been brutally killed by all of these weird crab guys, and those hound dogs won’t stop making sonic booms, but you could’ve just given them a CHANCE!

They probably didn’t want to fight-!

...

..wait a minute.

oh.. oh my god..

The bastard fired its lightning and I easily dodged. Upon opening my eyes back up, I opened fire with my MP5.

Two shots hit, and it began to run away.

“Gar jung!” It yelled, seemingly in fear. It’s trying to get away! Coward!

“You’re not getting away from me you bastard!” I yelled, and charged after it.

I pulled out my revolver and did one shot to the head.

It instantly fell down, dead. I walked up, and spit on the body. “Cunt.”

..they always ran away from combat.

when they knew they were overpowered.

They were innocent from the start.

..

My nose flinched, and I dry-heaved.

Uh oh.

I.. I can’t, not here-

“Cough..

UEEEGHHHAHH!!!”

As soon as the vomit splashed onto the floor, I knew I had fucked up. Hard.

“Gar jung?” I heard from down below.

I’m boned.

I looked over the ledge, and one of the big guys spotted me.

“Rraaahhh!!!” The big guy yelled, and I soon heard the telltale sign of a hivehand firing.

“Cheese it!” I yelled, wiping my mouth after. We gotta go!

I grabbed Spike’s arm and practically dragged him along with me. We ran behind a big rock, and waited for the hornets that were shot out to lose track of our position.

When they did, I slowly peeked my head out.

..everything seems to have calmed down,

“Coast is clear.” I whispered, and stepped out.

I pulled out my crossbow and walked back to the cliff’s edge. “No more Mr. Guilty Scientist.” I muttered, and popped out the magazine. I shoved some spare arrows inside and popped it back in, pulling back the slider afterwards, loading an arrow into the open barrel.

I looked down the scope, took aim at the big guy’s head, and pulled the trigger.

A direct hit.

The big guy collapsed to the floor, arrow sticking from his face. Dead. The other big guy looked around for the aggressor, and I took that opportunity to get him as well.

Since both bad guys were dead on the floor, those vortiguants were now, technically, free people. Wonderful.

I jumped off the cliff and grinned slightly when I heard the familiar sound of the landing gears as I came into contact with the rocky surface. Oh, how I love these. They truly are the perfect invention.

I stretched my arms and let out a deep exhale. Feels good to fuck some big guys up again.

And this time, I know I’m not killing any innocent aliens.

I winced at that thought.

Nice job. Ruining a good moment. Thanks, Freeman’s Mind.

...

...I really need to stop talking in third person. They’re gonna shove me in a mental ward sometime soon.

But I’m getting WAY off-topic.

I shook my head, and took a deep breath. Let’s do this. They won’t hurt me. Not anymore.

If anything, they’re more afraid of you.

I slowly approached a cowering vortiguant, and raised my hand.

Yep.

It shivered in fear at my raised hand, causing me to wince once more. This hand wasn’t innocent.

But it’s time to put that stuff past you.

“Hey.” I said in a quiet, calm voice. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

I doubt it could understand my voice, but it certainly understood the tone. It slowly stopped shivering, and turned to look at me.

“Those big guys are dead. I got them for you. You don’t have to be afraid anymore.” I whispered, putting my hand out further.

It was almost like watching a hermit come out of its shell. It’s shoulders relaxed, and its head raised up.

It slowly walked over to me, and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Gar..” it said, and touched its green neck shackle.

“You want me to get that off?” I asked.

No reaction.

Right. They don’t speak English. Dumbass.

“Okay. Gimme a second here..” I muttered, and pulled out my crowbar.

I did the motion for ‘turn around’ and it actually turned around, so maybe charades will work better than English.

Of course they will.. Gee, I sure am the king of smart assessments today.

I drove the crowbar into the space between the skin and emerald-like material, and pushed down on the crowbar.

“This might hurt a bit. I apologize.” I said, tapping the vortiguant’s head.

I pushed more forcefully, and I could feel the jewelry denting.

“Garrr..” It whimpered.

“It’s okay, bud.” I said, doing some forceful pushes. All of your strength, Freeman! Give it your all!

STRONGER!

“AGHH!!!” I yelled, doing one last push.

The neck shackle came off with a loud ‘Snap!’, and the vortiguant was free.

I breathed heavily after, and wiped my forehead. Jesus Christ. That took a lot out of me.

The vortigaunt felt its neck, and turned to me. Upon it doing that, I straightened up more.

It motioned for me to come closer.

I brought my head down, and it touched a hand to my forehead.

Instantly, I felt an immense pain. This fucking backstabber-!

The pain went away as soon as it arrived.

..what the hell?

The vortiguant cleared its throat, and spoke. “I’m sorry about that, comrade.”

A Russian accent? What the hell? English, even?

Did he learn English just by touching my forehead?

Incredible..

“I greatly appreciate your charitable act. You have taken out my masters, and removed the shackles that ceased my telepathic abilities.”

So that’s what they did..

“-That is what I did to you just now, for context on that. It may have hurt a bit, and for that, I apologize, as stated before. I did it to learn your language.. so I could communicate with you. Surely, you don’t understand vortiguese?” He chuckled.

I shook my head, chuckling as well. “Nope. Don’t know a thing.”

He shook his head. “No worries about that. But, anyway, I thank you once again. Please, allow me to tell my comrades of your deed. Wait here. I shall return.

I nodded.

...

...what the fuck just happened?

I just spoke with an extra-terrestrial life. On a.. Sunday.

You see, the HEV suit has more than just health monitoring numbers. It’s actually got the date and time, too-

Wait, Sunday?! What the actual fuck?!

How long have we been here?

We started the journey on a Thursday, didn’t we?

Jesus. It’s been 3 fucking days.

Fuck, man. How am I not super dehydrated? I’ve had one bottle of water. I have no reason to be alive. Unless, actually.. Does the HEV suit have an IV drip? That would make some sense, but where would it go? How does one fit a whole-ass bag of water in a compact suit?

I’m confusing myself here. Distractions?

That’s a good one.

What’s the date today.

I’m curious. Sunday. November 19th-

November 19th?

It’s.. my birthday today.

Fun thing to celebrate with. Fighting to survive from hell aliens. Awesome.

I’ve already almost died today alone..

I counted on my fingers,

19 times now?

Wild.

“Comrade, I come baring good news!” I heard my vortiguant friend say. I instantly snapped back into reality and turned to him,

“What’s up?” I asked. What’s the good news?

“My friends, as they are very thankful for your good actions, come to deliver gifts. We have found not.. manythings during our short lives.. but they are the things we cherish most. We wish for you to have them.”

“Seriously?” I asked. “You don’t have to give me-“

“Nonsense! We insist!” He replied, waving a hand.

“O..Kay.” I said.

Man, I don’t wanna take these people’s stuff. But it’s not like I have a choice, so I?

I turned to Spike as vortiguant buddy walked off.

“How do you feel?”

“I kinda feel like a background character sometimes.” He said, scratching his head.

“That’s because the story is being told from my perspective.” I off-handedly commented.

“What?” He asked.

“What?” I asked.

“But anyway.” I said. “I meant.. about this.”

“Oh. Well.. I don’t like to really take gifts. It kind of turns me into a greedy monster. But over here? In Xen? I don’t think that turning into a big monster is a concern. There are many other bad things to worry about.” He replied.

“Amen.” I muttered.

“Okay, friend. Here is gift for you.” I heard a different vortiguant say. I turned to face them, and my eyes widened when I saw what they were holding.

A mothafuckin.. Colt. Python.

“Gina found this on dead body of person that look like you. Orange skin. Maybe friend? Were you friend with person?” The vortiguant asked, and I noticed it had a distinctly female-sounding voice. Hm. Interesting tidbit.

But she asked me a question, “No, probably not. I wasn’t friends with many scientists at Black Mesa. Just Kleiner and Eli, really. But I doubt they risked their skin to come here.” I mock-rolled my eyes.

The vortiguant nodded. “Make sense. And Gina apologize for poor earthling language. Telepathy had to be done quick, so not much of language was picked up.” She explained.

Oh. That’s why she sounded like someone with half of their brain missing..

I sure feel like a dickhead now.

“It’s alright. I can understand what you’re saying. But I hope you can understand what I’m about to say.” I said, and put both hands on her shoulders. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this helps me.”

She nodded. “Nice earthling is welcome.” She turned to Spike. “Giant lizard also welcome! Here, is gift for you!”

She handed him another Colt Python, this one being a dark shade of gray.

“Thank you so much!” Spike said, admiring it in his claws.

Aww.. he got the cool one.. damn.

“Appreciate help.” The vortiguant said, and walked off. Another one took her place.

“Here is gift for you.” This one said, and shoved a grenade into my hands. “And for you.” He shoved one into Spike’s hands.

He nodded, and walked off.

“Thank you!” I shouted after him. Spike did the same.

He just nodded again.

He seemed rather unhappy. I wonder why.

Probably because he had to give away two of his prized possessions.

But anyway,

The original Vortiguant, the OG, the homie, the Russian, came up to talk to us. “I hope you enjoy your gifts, comrades. They seem useful for you.”

I nodded, “Of course. You just gave us two new guns that are arguably the most effective against the other aliens.” I said, running a hand along the barrel of the colt.

He nodded. “Good to know. But anyway, I believe you have a journey to continue, no?”

BZZZTTT

I turned my attention towards that noise, and saw that a contraption was turning on, based on the green light and the whirring of machinery.

“What’s that?” I asked, turning my attention back to the vortigaunt.

“That is an elevator. Unfortunately, it is rather high up, so you will have to do some form of climbing to get to it.”

To avoid climbing at all costs, my brain instantly went into overdrive mode.

I can stand on that moving pillar and wait for it to go up, where I can then jump onto the protruding side of the mountain. I can boost across to that broken building, and I can walk through it and go off that broken path with a boost jump. This would allow me to land directly inside the ele-

“Hey, Gordon! I found a pseudo-ladder over here.” Spike said, halfway up the contraption already.

Overdrive off.

Monkey brain back on.

“I hate you.” I muttered, rubbing my eyes. This guy..

“Yeah, you love me.” Spike chuckled.

I groaned. I need a good comeback. “Spike, you’re..”

Uh..

“Yeah?” He asked, looking at me. He was holding back a smirk.

“You’re.. a wiener!” I finally said.

Seriously?

Spike put a claw to his chest in mock hurt. “Really, Gordon? How harsh.” He shook his head and chuckled. “You’re a clown.”

Hey!

I resemble that remark!

“Celestia, do you think they even want our packages?” I asked my sister.

I don’t feel like we’re actually helping. We’re probably just nuisances. We haven’t gotten a single response back, even though Spike knows he can use dragonfire. Is he angry with us?

..maybe they’re dead?

Pffft!! As if. I have complete faith in Freeman.

...but maybe I should check on him. Somehow.

Maybe Celestia will know-

“I believe they want our packages, Luna. Surely they do. We have been helping them, right?”

I nodded, getting sidetracked by my own original question. “Yeah.. Hey, Celestia.. is there any way to even check if they’re still.. you know, alive?”

Celestia looked taken-aback at my bluntness. Didn’t blame her.

“Uhm.. yes. I put a spell on Spike many years ago that tells me his vitals at any given moment. Give me a second to check..”

Celestia went stone-cold for a couple seconds, but she quickly came back. “He’s fine. His vitals are actually quite level at the moment, so it seems he’s gotten a moment to relax.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. That’s great!

“Thank the stars..” I muttered.

“Thank the stars, indeed.” Celestia muttered, tearing off a piece of duct tape.

“How many times do you think they’ve almost died?” I asked.

“Hundreds.”

“Definitely.”

Author's Note

This was sort of a filler chapter. Imma be honest.

I wanted to explore the vortigaunts being slaves thing. How, if Gordon had just tried TALKING FOR ONCE, they could’ve helped him out a bit. But whatever. Just something I wanted to look into a bit more than necessary.

And, HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY, HALF-LIFE!

I’m 2 hours late. I’m sorry. But thank you so much for all the fun over these past few months. Cry of Fear, Afraid of Monsters, Left 4 Dead, Portal, TF2, and etc. All of those games wouldn’t exist without you.

I’ll still wait for HL3. Always :^)

And Gordon’s birthday is totally on the original half-life release date. That’s just how it is.

But anyway, love y’all, tell me of any mistakes, and..

Thanks for reading!

I Was Born With My Feet in Motion

? days earlier..

“Oh I don’t like this.” I said as I hammered a nail into one of the wooden planks, blocking it from moving too much and allowing.. something to get inside. I held my hoof on the other side of the plank and hammered another nail into the wood. When I finished, I dropped my hoof to the floor and admired my handy work.

Looks good, but I’m not done. There’s more where that came from.

New plank. I hammered two more nails.

Another plank. Two more nails.

One more plank. Two more nails.

I moved to the next window. Plank, nail nail. Plank, nail nail. Plank, nail nail.

Next window. Same process.

Next window.

Door. 6 planks, 8 nails.

This is going to take a while.

Plank nail. Plank nail. Plank nail.

Next window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dropped the hammer on the floor and fell to my haunches. Finally. I’m done.

I flipped the hair out of my eyes with a swing of my head and stood back up. No time to rest. Not now. Not until it’s all over.

I walked into the back room, swinging open the doors. “Are you two okay?” I called out into the darkness. Turning on the lights revealed two foals rubbing their eyes from the sudden brightness.

When nopony said anything, I reiterated. “Are you guys okay?”

They both nodded. Sighing in relief, I went to the next bullet on the mental list.

“Have mommy and daddy gotten any better?” I asked, clinging to some form of hope. Any good news.

They both shook their heads, and I turned to the metal cage. Two ponies stood inside, the mysterious crab creatures resting on their heads. They scraped and clawed at the bars, desperately hoping to escape; but they couldn’t. I made sure of it. Those bars are reinforced steel.

It’s quite easy to disassemble an oven and rebuild it into something different, you know.

Sighing again, this time in sadness, I turned around and made sure the door was shut. I locked the aforementioned doors, turned the lights back off, and sat down. As I did so, I let out a grunt.

“This sucks.” The colt said, putting his head in his hooves.

His twin sister nodded, doing the same motion.

“I know.” I muttered. “It really, really does. I’d love to be able to laugh and smile but.. now’s not the time.” I chuckled slightly.

It was.. almost poetic.

I’m usually in a very good mood. I’m usually the one that can cheer others up. I consider myself good at it, but I like to stay humble sometimes.

-I’m pretty good, not to toot my own horn. Humbleness out the window, I’m pretty great at cheering others up.

But anyway.. poeticism. It’s ironic. Poetic. Whatever I said previously.

I’m usually the one that can make others happy. But now I’m the one in dire need of some cheering up.

It’s just all.. messed up. It really is.

Why didn’t I listen to.. what was his name. Freeman? Yeah.

Why didn’t I listen? He.. he knew. He always knew. Nopony listened. Why? Why didn’t we listen? Sure could’ve saved us all a lot of trouble.

He was already an alien. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to know something we didn’t.

But no. Forget him, he’s crazy. None of them even bothered to sit down and listen to what he had to say. They threw tomatoes, they called him crazy. They ran him out of town.

Now, I know. He didn’t even leave. Not until a few days ago, at least, to go on his quest. But..

He could have.

By all means, he SHOULD have. We treated him like dirt. We don’t deserve his help at all, no matter the case.

He’s.. he’s so selfless.

He’s willing to save a world that doesn’t want him to come back alive.

While thinking all of this, a tear fell down my face.

We could’ve been good friends. I could’ve helped save the world with him. Why didn’t I go? Why didn’t I? Did I not believe him? That couldn’t have been it, but.. I just.. I didn’t believe it. I even made up some excuse when I was asked if I wanted to tag along.

I didn’t believe in the invasion, AND I lied to my friends. I sure am a good pony, huh?

As I was about to continue wallowing in my own misery, I snapped my head up upon realizing something.

Maybe it’s not too late to tag along. I can.. I can ask for forgiveness. Maybe I can get to wherever he’s going in time. Hopefully?

Wouldn’t hurt to try..

Steeling my resolve, I stood up on wobbly legs.

I was still tired, but I didn’t care.

I had to move. Really move.

But okay. It shouldn’t be too hard. Think of a joke. Come on. Come on.. the group should be in Canterlot by now. Rainbow Dash had told me the plan just in case I needed to find them.. and I sure am glad she told me. I wasn’t at the time, but hoo boy, it paid off.

Think of a joke. Come on.

Oh, wait. How am I going to bring the foals with me?

This is an issue that needs addressing.

“Are you hungry?” Luna asked her sister, her own stomach growling slightly.

“Eh.” Celestia replied. “I could go for some cupcakes-“ She began, but was cut off.

“Well you’re in luck!” I said as I hopped out of a nearby vase, holding a tray of cupcakes and balancing two foals on my back.

Silence.

Upon not hearing any reaction, I opened up my closed eyes and looked around. Princess Celestia and Luna looked at me as if I had 7 heads.

It.. it worked. It really worked. I’m here.

“Where’s Freeman?” I asked, setting down the kids. “I changed-“

“He’s on the alien planet.” Princess Luna said. “With Spike.”

..My eye twitched.

I missed it. I missed my chance. I screwed up.

He.. he’s gone. And I can’t apologize for what I did.

“Sure you can!” Celestia said, handing me a paper and quill. “We can send him stuff. Have anything in mind?”

Wait, did I say that out loud?

“Yes.” Luna said, going back to whatever she was doing.

“Oh. I feel like we’ve done that joke too much, though.” I replied, putting a hoof to my chin.

“Indeed we have.” She replied, ripping duct tape.

I shook my head, grabbing the quill and paper. I sat down, adjusted my spot upon being uncomfortable, and wrote out a message.

“Dear Gordon...

Hey! It’s Pinkie Pie! Sorry I couldn’t come on your adventure :( but I had a lot of work I needed to do! I had been putting it off so I could bake cupcakes, but the job I had been putting off was baking cupcakes so in the end it didn’t really matter but then Mrs. Cake got mad at me for making the wrong cupcakes and I had to do it all over again! Crazy, right?

But you probably don’t want to hear me ramble on. So- no, I’m getting sidetracked.

Anyway, enjoy the cupcakes!

Love,

Pinkie Pie”

I shook my head.

No. No, Pinkie. You’re gonna apologize.

I moved the piece of paper away and grabbed a new one. Let’s not mess it up this time.

“Oh, you’re done?” Celestia asked. I wasn’t really paying attention, so I just nodded. Autopilot, eh?

“Were you gonna send the cupcakes with you?” She asked as well.

“That was the plan,” I said, actually paying attention this time. Too bad I didn’t pay attention to that first thing. Hope it wasn’t important..

I’m not myself today.

Against my knowledge, Princess Celestia put the cupcakes and discarded note in a pod and sealed it, quickly tossing it through the portal.

When I finished my revision letter, I folded it up. Clearing my throat, I turned to the cupcakes, only to notice that.. they were gone.

“..where are the cupcakes?” I asked, turning to Celestia.

“Oh, I sent them with that note you put to the side. I figured I would help you out a bit.” Celestia said, her relaxing voice making it impossible to even be angry at her.

Didn’t mean I couldn’t be surprised though.

“You WHAT?!” I yelled, jumping 5 feet into the air. “Why would you-!”

“Was I not supposed to do that..?” Celestia said, sounding genuinely hurt. Come on!

I sighed, landed, and closed my eyes. “It’s no big deal. Send this letter and.. let’s just hope he gets both.” I muttered, holding out a piece of paper.

Celestia nodded, opening another pod. She shoved a water bottle inside, along with my note, sealed it up and tossed it into the portal room.

I hope Freeman got it. I’m really betting on that here.

“Uh, fuck, gotta move!” Gordon yelled and began running, not noticing the pod appear next to him.

He ran right past it, and had been none the wiser as to its important contents.

That’s.. that’s a huge weight off my chest. I hardly lie to ponies, and this is why.

But now that I apologized, I’m happier!

..

My hair stayed flat.

Phooey.

I frowned, but sighed. “Anyway, Princess.” I started, drawing the attention of both the celestial beings. “Do you know where Applejack and Rainbow Dash are?” I asked.

Princess Luna nodded. “They’re down in the secondary ballroom. The map on the wall can tell you where it is; they’ve made it into a safe-house for refugees. You should take Young Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake to it. Maybe they can play with some foals their age.” She said, and smiled.

I nodded, and put them on my back. Once I did that, I turned to the princesses and bowed. “Thank you. You don’t know how much better I feel.” I muttered.

One message failed, one didn’t. 50/50 chance of success isn’t so bad.

Who am I kidding. That’s terrible.

Let’s just hope it’s my lucky day.

“Pish-posh. It’s nothing.” Princess Luna said. “But I do have a question.”

My ears perked up. “Hm?”

“How did you appear in that vase?” She asked, nodding her head towards the object in question.

“Trade secret.” I said, and giggled.

I skipped off down the hall, leaving a confused set of sisters in my wake.

Now.. to that safe-room. Pound and Pumpkin can stay in a safe environment, and I can hang out with my friends! Yay!

Oh, I’m gonna be so happy to see Dashie and AJ. I feel like I haven’t talked to them in forever! It’s only been a few days, but gosh, those days were miserable! I spent one of them crying and the rest of them panicking. I only got around to boarding up the entrances recently for some reason; I don’t know why that wasn’t the first thing I did. But who really cares. Sementics. Semtics? Semantics? Semantics!

Semantics.

I didn’t use that correctly, did I?

Twilight would know. Oh, yeah! Where’s Twilight? She sure has been absent from the whole ‘aliens invade and everypony is dea-‘

..everypony is.. sleeping. Sleeping for a while.

They won’t wake up soon. But that’s okay. They will eventually.

After all. Nopony can.. d-die in equestria.

Oh, shoot. I made myself sad. Again.

Come on, Pinkie. They’re just taking a nap! And the infected ones.. the cure will be found soon! Everything will be okay!

It always is in the end, after all.

Oh, wait. I’m here. Stop being sad, Pinkie! It’s time to put on a presentation! Make everypony happy!

I kick open the double-doors and jumped into the air, “HELLO, EVERYPO-ny..”

My voice goes silent as I realize what kind of party I had just crashed. Slowly setting Pumpkin and Pound Cake on the ground, I giggled nervously.

A lot of ponies woke up. A lot of ponies that were in clear agony. A lot of ponies that had been sedated for their own safety; whose lives I just put in jeopardy.

Uh oh.

You screwed up, Pinkie. What did you just do?

I don’t know what I just did. I just wanted to make a big splash and cheer some poor ponies up. Like anypony would-

Well you bucked it up, Pinks! Do you know how many lives you just put in danger!? How many lives you probably just ended, because they clearly don’t have enough nurses to help everypony?! Do you even REALIZE?!?

I-I know! But I didn’t mean to-

That doesn’t matter! You. Bucked. It. Up. Like always! You always mess things up, Pinkie.

No I d-

Yes, you do! Admit it. You’re useless, Pink. A liability. You’re good for the occasional party, but nothing else. Haven’t you ever noticed that the only people that laugh at your jokes are foals? Little kids? You’re not an entertainer. You’re a clown at a foal’s birthday party!

Shut up! There’s nothing wrong with-

What? Nothing wrong with being a clown? Good defense. Clown.

That’s not what I-

What then, Pinkie? What?

Just.. stop.

No. I won’t.

I don’t want to hear it anymore.

Clown.

Shush.

Clown.

Shut it.

Clown. Pinkamena Diane Pie is a clown.

Shut up.

Pinkie is a clown. Pinkie is a big ol’ clown.

Shut up!

Clown!

“Shut up!”

You’ll always be a clown, you know. A useless entertainer. You’ll never be anything more-

“Shut up!!” I yelled, and ran out of the room. I need to get away from here. It’s not doing me any good to stick around.

I don’t want to abandon those poor ponies; but I feel I would do more harm than good.

It’s for the best that I just.. leave it all alone. That’s what anypony would do.

“The buck was that?” I asked myself out-loud. I flipped the rainbow mane from my eyes as I turned back towards the door.

Pinkie came in with her hair straight, shouted, started crying, yelled ‘shut up’ and then ran away. That was.. very confusing.

“Is.. is Pinkie okay?” Applejack asked, coming up next to me.

I turned to her and shrugged. “I don’t.. think so? Her hair was straight. And.. we all know what happened last time that was the case.” I muttered.

“Why? Why? Why?! Because you've been lying to me and avoiding me all day, that's why!”

I shuddered at the memory. Pinkie can be rather scary when she’s bat-shit insane.

..like just recently.

“I’m gonna have to go see what’s wrong with her, aren’t I?” I asked.

Applejack shook her head, “Of course not. Ah don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but ya’ve kinda got a huge injury on your backside, Sugar. Ah don’t think you should be walk- wait, what ARE ya walkin around fer?” She realized mid-sentence. “Go sit down! That looks like it really hurts!” She demanded, pointing towards an open chair. Looked rather comfy.

“You know.” I said, turning to her as I felt my injury flare up. “I had forgotten about the injury. But you made me remember it.. and now it burns. Do you have painkillers?”

Applejack sighed, but tossed me a bottle of pills. “Rainbow, you are one odd individual.”

I grinned, but winced as the burning got stronger.

This actually really hurts.

Author's Note

You probably noticed that I uploaded 3 chapters at once instead of the normal 1.

Uh.. Merry Christmas?

Hehe..

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for being so late. I’m sorry for not updating. I just.. I got some writers block, the holiday season stressed me out.. it’s all just a mess. I’m sorry you all had to wait. I’m sorry I’ve been so absent.

I hope you enjoy these chapters.

Ily all, and..

Thanks for reading!

I’m Running, Wide Open.

I sighed as I stared into the water, my reflection staring back at me.

You really messed up back there, Pinks. What was that all about?

I probably freaked everypony out. No, I DID freak everypony out. Just imagine being a patient in there. Some ditz waltzes in, disrupts things, yells shut up, and runs away.

I would be terrified if I was them!

..Of course, I’ve calmed down since then. No more shut up, no more yelling in my head, no more eye twitching.

But this needs to change. You can NEVER do this again. One time is enough.

But what’s the issue with me. Why did I do that?

I sighed.

Sometimes I guess I just.. need to learn not to listen to my subconscious. Your worst enemy is yourself, after all. Your head has got nothing good to say.

Though, doesn’t really matter much. Wallowing in self-pity won’t heal those injured ponies. Nothing will, except rest. And you bucked it-

No, no. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.

I didn’t know.

I clicked my tongue, bit the inside of my cheek, did all of the other idle movements, and looked back at the water.

Grabbing a nearby stone, I adjusted myself, calculated the trajectory.. and threw the stone.

It skipped six times before it sunk.

That’s a new record for me! Woo!

I grinned at that. Grinned for what felt like the first time in a while.

I grabbed another one, skipping it across the lake as well.

It failed to skip, but that’s not so bad. The Canterlot gardens have plenty of skipping stones.

It’s a beautiful place, really. Flower beds on all sides, with lilac, daisy, and periwinkles; hedge mazes that look complex yet easy.. it was serene. The lake looked straight out of legends, and the stones were completely smooth. Perfect for skipping.

It’s nice, if you can ignore the constant banging from the zombies and sonic booms of the tiny monsters on the other side of that gate. If you can do that, you can enjoy yourself a lot!

That being said, it was highly distracting. Some radioactive stuff nearly hit me, too, but I just moved away from its line of sight. I want to be depressed, not be in danger!

...that’s quite sad.

This apocalypse is doing some things to me. Things I don’t like. I want to be cheerful Pinkie, party Pinkie. But it’s hard. It’s hard to stay the same when everything around you is changing.

I don’t know how many friends of mine have kicked the bucket by now.

Did Fluttershy even last a day?

See, that’s.. that’s what I mean. Had this been an average day, that kind of thought would’ve never even dared to pass through my mind. Now, though?

I’m casual about the possible death of one of my closest friends. Casual about it!

This is all just.. sick. Disgusting.

I hope everypony is okay. Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight.

“Ah sh-“ I froze, and turned to my sister.

Sweetie Belle looked up at me, fear in her eyes, yet also curiosity.

“-shnikey.” I corrected myself. Swearing is both unladylike, and not good for kids.

I nodded to myself before I grabbed a pan in my magical grip.. and bashed the skull of the zombie pony at my door. It’s head split open and it’s brains splattered on my wall.

That makes me feel so.. unclean. And it ruined my nice walls!

These.. zombies and their “pony-like body yet monster-like actions”. Ridiculous.

I’m covered head-to-toe in zombie blood, but I had been able to avoid getting it on the walls. Until now, at least. I had gotten careless. I had let it get close, and I had paid the price.

Celestia, if we were going to have an apocalypse, could it have been with something I didn’t have to kill? Killing is gross. Both visually and mentally; I feel like a horrible pony for the crimes I have committed on this day.

But, as they say, “You gotta do what you gotta do”.

This is not ideal for doing what I gotta do, though.

“Mr. Bear!” I yelled out, pointing a hoof to a nearby window. Mr. Bear turned to it and roared.

The zombie pony at the window promptly ran away terrified.

I nodded to Mr. Bear, and he nodded back.

My eye twitches as I sit upon a throne I don’t feel I deserve.

I miss Spike.

“I’m sure they’re doing okay..” I muttered out-loud, imagining the worst ways they could all be killed.

Yikes.

I really need to get it together.

I fell into the gross water roughly, water splashing all around me as I yelped in pain. That hurt. I shut my eyes tightly as I rubbed my body, trying to quell the pain, despite the fact that the suit blocked all contact. Damn it.

I eventually gave up when the pain got less intense, and slowly stood. I didn’t fall that far, so why was I in such pain-

Health: 40

Suit: 0

..that explains it.

Shaking my head, I wiggled my hands to dry them off. Damn water soaked into the gloves. That blows.

Spike landed rather roughly next to me, but he actually landed on his feet. Lucky him.

Turning my attention back to the new area, I looked around to find out where we were. As was usual for the past little stretch, it was very red. Two weird spires were off in the corner, and some of those branches were covering up what looked like a giant archway. The river was shit brown- definitely didn’t help my disgust with it already.

But.. it’s nice. A thought I voiced almost immediately.

“It’s rather-“

Only to be cut off at the sounds (and scent) of burning wood.

Those branches that blocked off the archway were burning. Something was-

BWOOOM

The branches were blown away, and out walked one of those giant blue bastards with the flamethrowers.

I took two shots at it, and turned to Spike. As I did so, he turned to me.

“Run.” I said, and he nodded.

I dashed off into a random direction, which just so happened to be the best thing I could’ve done. I climbed up the rather steep side of a mountain, following the river. I ducked under a glowing branch and continued running, but turned back to look at the thing. It bashed through the branch easily, which further reinforced the want to get the hell away.

I ducked under another one and boosted away, towards one of those giant branch walls. This one was red, but because of that, I could easily notice the opening on the side. I squeezed in and continued running, making sure Spike was following. He was.

I ducked under a piece of debris that was smashed away and nearly took my head off. After that truly awesome experience of near-death, I ran through the next hole in the wall. Upon seeing that the next surface I had to run up had the texture and look of something slippery, I silently prayed that I could make it up easily.

Luck proved to be on my side for the first time in history, as I was able to flawlessly climb up. Spike almost slipped, but he was able to correct himself.

I jumped off the ledge and into the water right as the blue thing destroyed the wall again. I couldn’t avoid the huge debris this time around, so I tanked the hit. I lost 10 health, but it thankfully didn’t slow me down much. I was able to catch myself and continue running.

I heard a roar, and a different branch wall lit up. Oh my god. Two of them?

I turned in the only available direction, and took a long fall off the cliff. I began to panic but remembered that I would be okay. Why?

The landing jets kicked in, and I continued running.

I ran straight for a wall of branches as I saw an opening, but I quickly turned right and onto a different path when another one of those things burst through the wall. I ran through the cave system and boosted across, hoping to get SOME distance on these guys. It would not last long, but it worked for a second, and that’s all I ask.

I boosted across a lumpy path and straight into houndeye territory. Shit!

I pulled out my magnum and took 4 shots, killing 4 of them easily. Had to get moving though, as ANOTHER ONE SHOWED UP.

I jumped over one of the exploding ones and pulled out my Glock to shoot the next explosive ones. They blew up easily and I continued on. Spike still followed, which I was eternally grateful for. Homies gotta look out for homies, after all.

I ran past a pillar and up the side of the wall along a path. When I reached the end of it, I took a big risk and jumped to the second platform in the line. I landed directly on one of the Black Mesa pods, but I had no time to grab anything.

I have to keep moving.

...

Or do I?

I looked around. Those blue guys weren’t following us anymore.

Upon it all being over, I fell to the ground with a wheeze. “Jesus, man!” I called out.

“Oh my Celestia..” Spike said as he fell onto his back. “That was stressful.” He muttered as he took in deep breaths.

I nodded. “Hell yeah it was.”

I sat up and grabbed the two suit batteries from the pod. Tossed one to Spike and kept the other for myself. I plugged in the cord, charged up the suit, and tossed the now empty container away.

I grabbed two health packs and did the same process. This doesn’t give me infinite life or anything, but it sure does help.

Upon lying back down to truly appreciate the resting time, I looked around this new area.

We were on an island. Giant pointed edges came off the sides, and some weird red branch material formed what looked like a fence. There was a cubby on another island we can easily get to, but it looks like a dead end.

Then again, this one does too, so it’s either that or stay here and rot.

I sighed. The world needs saving. No time to be lazy.

On that note, I stood up and stretched, walking over to Spike. “Time to get going buddy.” I said, letting down my hand.

He grabbed it and pulled himself up, also groaning. “But I’m so tired!” He whined.

“Me too.” I muttered, and ran to the edge of the island. I jumped, clenched toes, and boosted to the other side. I landed in the cubby, and listened in as Spike landed near where I did.

FWOOM

BOOOOMMM

Fuck.

I turned around to run away, but saw nothing and remembered.

We had jumped down to get here.

I ran to the edge of the cliff to find anything to work with. Anything at all.

But by the time I noticed the brain-like booster, it was already too late.

I felt my back erupt into agonizing pain as fire scalded everything. Feeling the retribution of 1000 sun gods, I let out a yell as I ran away from the pain and quickly jumped to the boost pad.

“Gordon!” Spike yelled, not even noticing the fire hitting his back. Damn dragons..

I landed right on the boost pad and flew upwards, right, and straight towards the top of the island we were just on.

FWOOM

The flames from this one barely missed my flailing body.

After what felt like an eternity, I landed incredibly hard on my back. Pain shot up my spine as I began coughing. I had the wind knocked out of me.

Spike landed on the island and pulled me up harshly. “Come on, no time! We gotta go!” He said, and pulled me to my feet. There was another blue thing going after us.

I felt so weak. Everything hurt.

But I had to keep going.

For Equestria.

For Cheerilee.

They need me.

Forcing myself to go on, I slowly worked my legs. I slowly took in shallow breaths. I slowly began running again.

Come on, Freeman.

Let’s not die that easily, eh?

I turned around a large pillar and continued on.

This was a weird-ass place, I don’t know if I mentioned that. Branches sprouted from weird places, the general caving architecture was so backwards I couldn’t even begin to describe it, there were glowing mushrooms, barnacles, spires.. it was all just a mess.

I narrowly avoided a huge chunk of debris from another wall smash and continued my jogging session. I ran up another hill, this time narrowly tripping on a few rocks. Not good. Get your head in the game, Freeman.

Avoiding a fall to my death, I boosted across to the other side of a pit. I recalled the texture this wood wall shared with each other one, so I immediately ran away from it.

Oh, fuck. It’s one of those huge houndeyes-

BANG BANG

“Oh, thanks Spike.” I wheezed out. Shit, I’m tired.

“No problem..” he wheezed back.

I ran up the last stretch of hill and did a big jump into the brain booster. It boosted me in the direction of the next area and I continued on. I avoided the blue guy and ducked under an overpass, going back to following the river. The classic tactic.

I jumped over a branch, ran a bit, and climbed up the narrow path of what looked like a meat branch. Ew.

I boosted across the next drop, though, because the only way out was through that ring of wood.

Had I failed, I would’ve been stuck.

I didn’t want to mess that up. Thankfully, I didn’t. Woo. Go me!

I turned around to check if it stopped the running man, but nope. He just kept trucking on.

I continued, squeezing through a skinny branch hole. Came across another wall, went in a different direction.

Turned left, and crouched into a tight fitting hole. Hehe.

Avoided the debris and continued moving. The water was splashing all around us as we crawled.

BWOOM

BWOOM

Two more popped from out of the walls as we ran and ran. It was getting to the point where I could hardly breathe, but I had to keep going.

If I stopped, I would actually fucking die. I definitely didn’t want that, believe it or no.

Oh, how I wished for some water.

Wait, there it is!

The end is in sight!

The bastards can’t make this jump!

In one last boost of adrenaline, I began running.

But my world slowed down..

As I slipped in the water.

Spike boosted across the way and landed easily. He turned back to me, only for his eyes to widen.

“Free-“

I quickly jumped up. These guys were right on my tail, but I had to bust a fucking move if I wanted to escape. I don’t want a premature death. I don’t. I don’t I don’t.

Terrified for my life, I began running again. I ignored the fire on my back, the fire in my lungs, the fire in my legs.

But, unfortunately, my worst fear was realized.

BWMP

BZEEEEEERRR..

The red dot attack. Fuck!

I ran as fast as I could and boosted across early. The attack stopped as it didn’t feel the ground anymore, but that was the least of my worries.

I’m not gonna make it.

I’m gonna miss, and I’m gonna fall to my death.

..

This is where it ends, huh?

Slipping in water. Genius stuff, Gordon. What’s your next plan- oh yeah. You’re dying!

I sighed, and closed my eyes.

You tried, Freeman.

It’s time for Spike to take up the mantle, though. Your days are done.

Now all you have to do is-

“Urgh!” I let out as I felt my arm being yanked hard.

“I’m not letting you go.” Spike said, and I cracked open my eyes at that.

Spike was hanging onto my hand for dear life, hanging off the edge of the platform by his sharp talons.

He grinned. “‘Morning, sunshine.”

He swung back, and then forward.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and.. SWING!

He flung me upwards and I landed roughly onto the island.

..

I lived.

I’m alive!

I’m not dead! I’m not dead yet, you fucks!

Freeman keeps-

“Uh, little help?” Spike asked, still hanging,

I quickly kicked myself out of my stupor and got to my feet. I ignored the pain in favor of helping my buddy out.

When I got him situated up top, he almost immediately passed out onto the ground.

I checked his pulse, and he was fine.

I sat down on my own ass and laid back. Guess he was just-

snore..

Author's Note

Yeah, we went back to the homies, Spike and Freeman. Filler? Pshh.. these side stories totally aren’t filler because I don’t want to write about Xen. Not at all.

They are kinda, but they are also important to the story. Well, the next one will be. Just trust me on this!

Merry Christmas, and..

Thanks for reading!

Ties That Bind.

I sighed as I entered the safe-house room once again.

Everypony turned to stare, but I ignored them. I need to do something here. Something important, and something specific.

“Excuse me, Miss?” I asked one of the nurses walking by.

“Yes?” The nurse asked, clearly impatient with me.

“Who runs this whole thing?” I asked, waving my hoof around slightly.

The mare put a hoof to her chin in thought, “Uhm.. Applejack?” She said, not so sure of her answer. Though it seems she changed her mind, as she nodded. “Yeah. Applejack.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

I walked away quickly, avoiding any more contact with her. Didn’t want to make her any more busy, after all. She’s got an important job. She doesn’t need my sorry butt annoying her.

I walked over to the standing form of Applejack and tapped her withers.

“Yeah, Ah belie- huh?” She stopped the conversation with herself and turned to me. “Oh. Howdy, Pinkie!” She said cheerfully.

“Hello, Applejack.” I said calmly.

Applejack sweatdropped at that.

Tugging on a nonexistent collar, she coughed. “Uh, everything okay, Pinkie? What do you need?”

Applejack was playing dumb. She knew what I had done, and she most likely knew why I was there, too.

“I’m..” I started.

Applejack blinked, and waved a hoof in the motion of ‘continue..’

“I’m sorry!” I said, and fell to the floor. I wrapped my forelegs around Applejack’s barrel and began crying. “Please forgive me!”

Applejack looked around at the disapproving states of the nurses, and looked back at Pinkie.

“Uh, Pink?” Applejack said, tapping my ear.

“Yes?” I asked, my tears immediately stopping.

“Think ya can calm down a bit?” She asked. “We kinda got sleeping ponies in here.”

I nodded. “Yes, I know. I’m sorry.” I muttered, embarrassed.

You did it again!

“S’okay, Pinkie.” She replied,

You idiot! You-

“Wait, it’s okay?” I asked, not believing my own ears.

“Well, yeah. Yer previous disruption didn’t do much either, actually. Some ponies even laughed, so Ah guess you accomplished yer goal.” Applejack explained, patting me on the head with a smile.

I smiled back.

rumble..

The building began to shake. What the..?

Ponies around us began to either panic or remain incredibly calm, no in-between.

ssskkkRRRRR..

That sounded like.. metal on stone?

“Sir, I have to ask that you please calm down-“ A nurse said to a shaking stallion, when all of a sudden the shaking stopped.

...

“Everypony okay?” Applejack asked, setting down her clipboard.

A resounding ‘yes.’

Until, well.. it.

“Okay, so.. does everything feel-“ A nurse started, before being cut off.

SHRK

...

“Gurgle..” The nurse let out, a giant blade protruding from the top of her head.

The blade slowly got pulled out, and went back into the vent that was suspended above her person. The vent had clearly been broken through, most likely by whoever had the blade.

Everypony began to scream, and soon after, the lights went out.

It was dead silent.

When the lights turned back on.. the room was a mess.

Blood was all over the walls, there were bodies strewn about, and there were some poor ponies still clinging to what very little life they had left.

And right in the middle of it.. was a pile of foals.

Applejack, who seemed just as terrified as I was, walked over to the aforementioned pile of kids.

“Are.. are y’all okay?” She asked them, gulping.

They all nodded.

“Any injuries?”

They all shook their head.

Applejack walked back over to where I was, grabbed her clipboard, and flipped through a few pages. Upon finding what she was looking for she turned to me, shakily showing me a page of names. I grabbed it and flipped through just as she did.

“Every foal we had in the room is in this pile.” She stated, turning back to them. “Whatever just happened, whatever jus’ attacked.. it didn’t want ta harm the kids.”

My eyes widened. What the..?

Shaking my head, I set the clipboard down on the ground and turned to her. “So.. what does this mean?” I asked. “Who’s attacking?”

“I dunno.” Applejack said, “But you have ta get moving. Go get help. Go get.. anythin’. Ah’ll stay here with the kids.” She finished, and turned back to them.

Wait, that’s not fair-

“What the Tartarus just happened?” A drowsy-sounding Rainbow Dash said.

“-and Rainbow Dash.” Applejack added. “So, please-

“Wait a minute.” I said. “How come I have to do it?” I asked.

“These foals don’t know you. These are Canterlot foals, not Ponyville foals.” Applejack explained.

“And how come Rainbow Dash can’t do it?” I asked. I’m not against the idea.. I just want to know why I was chosen to go.

“She’s gravely injured.”

My pupils dilated. “Oh. Dashie, are you okay?” I asked, genuinely worried for her safety.

“I should be okay.” She shrugged.

I sighed in relief. Thank Celestia.

“Alright, then. I guess I’ll go get help.” I muttered

I nodded, turned to the exit door, and began walking to it.

When I reached my destination, I put a hoof up to the door and kicked it inwards.

A double-swinging door. Neat. But back on track. No time to be opening doors. There are ponies in danger, and attackers that need to be dealt with. Don’t worry. Auntie Pinkie Pie has got it all under control.

Just you wait and see.

Speaking of seeing, I cannot see. The nearby light switches don’t work, so I’m testing my luck with the windows. Clearly, that won’t last long. Day does not last forever. I need a lantern.

“Hey, we can exit this way!” A stallion said, pointing down a hallway. I turned towards him and he pointed to me. “Look, see? Come on! Let’s go!” He waved.

When I stayed still for too long, he groaned and ran to whatever destination he seemed set on getting to. This is when the building shook again and debris fell from the ceiling.

I gagged at the sight of the innards showing through the stone and shingles.

After that.. experience, I turned and kept walking. I kicked open another door and moved on.

Yet, as soon as I turned a corner, I saw a mare crawling on the ground. She was bleeding out, and I rushed over.

But just as quickly as I began to gallop, something.. fell from the sky and landed on her, stabbing a blade into her head.

I winced at the sight, and turned a little green. That was.. that was so gross.

And that poor pony..

The blade.. turned out to be an appendage. The appendage of which belonging to what looked to be a pony with.. beige skin and.. no eyes. They had bandages all over their body, and their limbs were replaced with the aforementioned blades. Their head didn’t rest on a neck, as it instead rested on what looked like a metal pike. That’s brutal.

But also terrifying. This is not a beast that I can just laugh away.

It brought the blade up to its face and licked the blood off of it, going into a martial arts stance afterwards. It wanted to fight.

Narrowing my eyebrows, I turned my head to a nearby pipe on the wall. If it wants a fight, I’ll give it a fight.

I bucked it in two different spots and grabbed the remnant. A semi-long pipe. Perfect for smashing.

I now had a weapon.

And when the beast charged, I did what felt right.

WHAM

splurch

It’s head burst open from the power of my swing, spraying blood over the nearby wall and, subsequently, all over me. It was gross, but I didn’t have time to stop and be disgusted. Taking out its head didn’t make it stop moving.

I thwacked it three more times, each time listening to it make a horrifying squeal that sounded straight from Tartarus itself. One more swing and it fell to the floor, where I then thwacked it’s body two more times.

It finally ceased its movement, and I dropped the pipe.

..when it all caught up to me, I violently puked all over its corpse.

What the heck was that. Why did it k-kill that poor pony, why did it lick the blood from the blade, why did it HAVE blades (for legs!), why did it attack me, why did I attack back so easily, and WHY ARE THEY HERE!?

...

...Slowly calming down, I went back to my original objective. Find a light source.

I shook my head, wiped the blood from my pipe, and continued walking.

I schmooved down the hall, and kicked open the first door I came across. Some barracks for the guards. This is a good place to look.

And, as it turns out; I was right! Two oil lanterns sat on a bench, and I grabbed one. I refilled the oil and turned the dial, lighting up the area around me. Perfect.

Now.. where will I put it? I can’t hold onto it, that removes my ability to both move easily and fight.

Oh!

I smashed my hoof into a locker and it popped open, allowing me to grab a guard uniform.

No, not armor. A uniform! The armor wasn’t nearby.

You see, what I was wearing was.. sort of like a suit. They all had separate uniforms that they would wear for ceremonies and things of the sort. Parties, even..? Hehe.

So, after equipping myself in a fitting uniform, I bent and hooked the lantern handle onto the shirt pocket. It hung from my breast, illuminating a small area in front of me.

Nice.

Moving on to another locker, I hit it and opened it up.

My world slowed as I stared at the body that fell out.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I shook my head. Ignore it or get used to it, Pinks. I doubt that’s the last dead body you’ll see.

..jeez. What has my life become? To the point where I have to think about stuff like that?

I shook my head. Clear it all away, Pinkie. Toss the bad feelings in the trash.

Going back to the real world, I opened up the next locker. A bottle of what looked like painkillers and a small carton of oil for the lantern. I pocketed both.

Next locker. Nothing.

Next locker. A cloth strap.

Looking at my pipe, I got an idea.

After I fastened the strap to my barrel, I slid the pipe in. Doing this allowed it to sit comfortably and in-reach, yet also kept it out of the way.

Smart thinking, Pinkie.

I exited the barracks and continued on. Shortly after my departure, though, my life was once again threatened.

“Reargh...”

It’s behind me.

Quickly rolling left, I watched as it flew by and missed its target completely. I stood up and ran towards it, jumping up into the air and pulling out my pipe as I did so. I slammed the metal into the back of its weird head and watched as the body hit the floor, where it then began to crawl around like a spider. Ech!

I swung down hard on its head once, and then twice on its body. It ceased all movement almost immediately.

I put my pipe back in its resting place and continued walking.

It’s a gift, really. These things are incredibly dangerous and deadly.. yet they are very easy to deal with. I thank you, whoever.. whatever.. that created these things.. for making them easy to deal with. You have my respect and my hate.

I still despise you for creating them in the first place, though. Your creations have done nothing but cause harm-

“Road Trip to Delta.. I repeat, Road Trip to Delta. Do you come in, Delta?”

Wait, is that another pony?

It might be!

Getting excited at the thought of not being alone anymore, I quickly ran towards the voice.

When I heard it getting louder, I kicked open a nearby door and saw what looked like a pony dressed in all camouflage.

“Hello??” I asked, which caused it to flinch.

It slowly turned around, and I quickly realized the mistake I made in getting his- its attention.

Almost instantly, it turned from what looked like a normal pony into a.. beast. A beast that reeked of pure malice and hate.

Its hooves grew to the size of a Minotaur’s muscles. The gas mask it wore quickly turned into what looked like a fleshy mess. Its chest opened up to reveal a rib cage and a black heart, that of which was beating very slowly. Six appendages sprung from its back; each holding what looked to be a black.. metal.. thing. Red text could be seen on the sides, and it was rather skinny.

Instantly sensing that the metal thingies were going to do immense harm, I rolled to the right. Good choice, too. They immediately shot out projectiles at what looked like light speed, damaging the wall behind me.

I quickly shook off any sense of shock or fear and pulled my pipe back out. I took a swing at its turning head and it backed up slightly. It’s appendages turned towards me, but I quickly swung and it got knocked back again; the appendages failing to locate a target. I swung again. And again. And again.

Finally, and with a groan of pain, it fell to the floor; dead.

I dropped my pipe and walked over to its body. Bastard.

Grunting, I ripped off one of the appendages and pulled out the metal thing, taking a gander at the red writing.

It actually wasn’t text at all. It was drawings of.. something, and a dial. The dial was currently on the drawing of 7 circles, and could be moved to either a drawing of only one circle, or one that had a white circle.

And on a different part of the weird object, it read..

Cal .177 (6.5mm)

HK

MP5

What does that mean?

Studying the object a bit more, I began to get more and more confused. How does this thing work? If I can get it to shoot those projectiles, I would be practically unstoppable against those blade things. But can I?

I looked back to the dead body. The appendages seemed to be holding it so that this weird plastic part could be.. pulled.

Getting a sudden idea, I stood up and pulled open a nearby file cabinet. I grabbed a quill and sat back down, pointing the weird object away from me and sticking the quill into the tiny area. Once I did, I pressed down the plastic piece.

CRACKCRACKCRACK

I dropped the weapon in fright at the loud noises and projectiles being fired. It clattered to the floor, and I held my hooves to my ears. I watched as these weird metal pieces also clattered to the floor. Gold shells, it seemed. Huh.

So.. guess I figured it out.

But how am I going to use it? I can’t only use that thing with a quill pen, that would be such a handicap. If only this weird plastic ring wasn’t here..

Now, maybe if I could..

Wait..

I just got another idea.

Quickly picking up the metal object again, I dashed out towards the dead body of one of the bladed guys.

I sat down next to its appendage, but stopped.

..this will inevitably fire on accident.

How do I stop it from doing so?

I began hitting it anywhere, to see if maybe I could trigger some safety system or something.

Instead, what I did do was press a button and have a different metal piece pop out.

Looking inside the discarded thing, I saw these little metal shells. They looked like the ones that came from the weapon when I fired it.

Is this.. some form of ammunition?

That’s neat. So it should be perfectly safe-

CRACK

..guess not.

But now it won’t fire anymore. So I guess it just had one left in there for some reason.

..anyway, back to the reason I came out here.

I put the weapon up to the giant blade and began to saw. I began to cut. Please work.

Thankfully, though, and slowly but surely, the plastic ring around it was cut off and the plastic piece was free to use.

I put that ammunition-filled metal piece back in and held down the plastic, aiming it at a wall.

CRACKCRACKCRACK

I let go of the plastic piece and smirked.

This is perfect.

Author's Note

Sequel foreshadowing blah blah don’t worry about it :yow:

Anyway, hope you enjoyed these 3. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

I love you all, and..

Thanks for reading!

Strapped for Cash

“You know what I really enjoy about Xen? My favorite part?” I asked Spike, sarcasm practically dripping from my tone. This place truly is the epitome of sunshine and rainbows.

“What?” Spike asked in genuine curiosity.

“The factory.” I said, and jumped down a hole.

I landed softly and watched as a giant cube made of what looked to be.. electricity, rose from the ground in front of me and began to move along. Most likely a conveyor belt or motor system.

Spike landed behind me, and I motioned to the next cube that was rising up. “We gotta ride these things again.” I said, and stepped on.

He followed, and soon, we were both sitting silently on a moving cube. Rivetin-

Clunk

..Wait, it stopped.

Why did it stop?

A loud alarm went off, and a door next to us opened up. That doesn’t look good. Is it supposed to be doing that?

Did it detect us and is now trying to exterminate the anomalous life form?

Oh lord. We gotta get outta here.

I moved my hand slightly and shocked myself against a blue barrier.

Alright so moving is not an option.

Noticing I began to breathe heavily, I tried in vain to calm myself down. It’s gonna be fine, Freeman.

While I was doing that, the conveyor took us inside, where we sat still for a second. I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

...

..nothing.

I cracked open my eyes. Where’s the death ray?

“This is new.” I said, and flinched slightly when the next door opened up rather violently.

The room we were taken into next was rather large. What looked to be lasers decorated the floors, and a giant red circle contraption above us didn’t give off a very good vibe. This is it. This is the murder room.

The cube, after jolting forward, continued moving until it reached the center and stopped.

It rose up, and stopped once more with a loud clang.

Suddenly, on all sides, doors opened up to reveal what seemed to be a red electro-magnetic wave. It would be fascinating, had I not been both completely confused and completely panicked at the same time.

This is when multiple pieces of what looked to be a larger cube began moving towards us at a speed I wasn’t ready for.

“These things are gonna crush us-“ I said, and quickly jumped on top of one to avoid that fate. Spike did the same, but barely got up in time. Had he stayed still for a second longer he most likely wouldn’t have made it.

With another loud clang, the pieces stuck together cleanly. Blue arrows decorated the top of the cube, giving it a rather futuristic look. It would look cool, had it not tried to kill us a moment earlier.

The big cube began to separate, and I hopped back onto the original one. Spike jumped on too and nearly knocked me off, but he grabbed me before I actually fell.

“Thanks,” I muttered. Spike nodded, but closed his eyes quickly at the sudden bright light above us.

Looking up, I felt my heart drop.

Lasers. Red death lasers.

Four extended bridges came out from the walls, and, taking a chance, I immediately began moving onto one. It was the correct choice, as when I looked above, I noticed that the lasers were going to go right around me. Sweet.

Spike, thankfully, had the same idea as I did.

After going all the way down, the lasers rose back up and disappeared as they clicked back into their mechanism. The bridge pieces slowly began moving back into the wall, so we both jumped back onto the cube.

Next, four individual laser machines in the shapes of vertical lines descended from the ceiling mechanism, right as that ceiling mechanism began to lower as well. My heart lurched, before I noticed a small platform ring around the cube had formed. I hopped onto it to avoid being crushed by the lowering ceiling, and, fortunately, I was right in my judgement once more.

When the vertical lasers turned on, I walked slowly and in tandem with them so as to avoid getting my entire ass sliced in half. Not something I wanna have happen, thanks.

The lasers disappeared, and the circular platform and vertical mechanisms rose back up. Me and Spike got back on the cube.

The cube lowered itself down, and began to move into another door on the other side of the room.

Me and Spike both hopped off when it reached what looked like a vent, and we bent down to fit inside. We both crawled along, (not thinking about anything claustrophobia related,) and climbed out when it went upwards at the end.

I climbed up and out, where I then turned to Spike as he hopped out of the tiny space.

“I’m surprised how well we kept calm during that whole thing.” He said.

I was panicking the entire time, but because I didn’t want to seem like a loser, I replied, “Yeah, right? We were totally chill, even on the verge of death.”

He chuckled. “Yep.”

...

Silence reigned over the conversation, and we both chose that as a good time to move on.

Instead of walking normally, I decided to begin walking backwards to face him and speak at the same time. “So, that was an experience, huh? That wasn’t in the Xen I went to the first time.” I said, waving my hands back to the area we came from.

“Really?” Spike asked. “What was, then?”

“..what does that even mean?” I asked, genuinely confused about that. Did he want me to describe an entire galaxy?

He groaned, “Geez, dude, you get what I mean! You’ve mentioned a lot of stuff wasn’t in the other Xen, but I’ve never even seen it. What was it like?” He asked.

Upon figuring it out, I nodded. “Alright then, sorry for the misunderstanding.” I apologized.

He nodded. “Apology accepted.”

“But anyway,” I started. “Xen was boring. It was bland, and it was all colored the same. This shade of puke green that really just made you not want to look at anything. Factory wasn’t as complicated, either, and I definitely didn’t get chased by 15 of those blue aliens-“

I was cut off as I began to free fall. Uh oh.

“Ough!” I yelped out as my back hit the ground hard.

“Sigh You alright?” Spike asked, hopping down next to me and putting out his claw. Did he just sigh?

“Yeah, but this is getting ridiculous.” I started, electing to ignore the sigh. “How many times have I fallen like that?” I asked, using Spike’s claw to pull myself up. I dusted myself off as he answered.

“I lost track at around the 6th time.” Spike said, shrugging.

I clicked my tongue. “Don’t blame you.” I muttered.

I shook my head, and turned to a conveyor belt with some weird green things on it. “Well, let’s get moving.” I said, and nodded my head towards the aforementioned conveyor belt. I walked over and put my foot on it, nodding once more.

Spike also nodded, and jumped on with me.

After riding the conveyors for a bit, some of those weird flying cunts appeared in the sky. The ones that control the vortiguants. “You know the drill,” I said, and pulled out my magnum. I took two shots, and killed one. Spike did the same.

One shot. One more shot, click.

Oops. I’m empty.

I swung out the cylinder, pushed the backside of it to make the spent ammo fall out, put in a new set using a speed-loader, and shoved the cylinder back in. After that, I spun it for coolness points.

One more shot, and the one I had fired at went down. Two more, and another was dead on the ground.

Spike reloaded his gun, and killed the last one.

“Your aim is really good.” I complimented, turning towards him. “And you’re pretty good at a quick reload, too.”

Spike grinned. “Oh, thanks.” He said.

I nodded, and turned back around to face forward.

But upon realizing something kinda huge, I turned back to him. “I never taught you how to reload the magnum. How the fuck did you figure that out?” I asked.

I wasn’t angry or anything, if that’s what you’re thinking. No, I was just.. genuinely surprised.

“Hm?” He asked, before understanding what I was asking. “Oh. Just inference, I guess. Saw the thingy, saw what it did, saw the ammunition, figured it out. Wasn’t hard. Way easier to infer about than reloading the Glock.” He explained, shrugging his shoulders. This guy..

“Well look at this smart cookie,” I said. “Just learned what a gun was a few days ago and he can already infer on how to reload a different one.” I finished, smacking his shoulder lightly to really drive the point home.

I’m proud of this guy.

“I’m not proud of you anymore.” I said, and walked into one of those weird healing chambers.

“What?! But I said I was sorry!” Spike exclaimed, and ran to catch up with me. “Hey, guy! Tell him he’s being unreasonable!” Spike asked, and turned to the vortiguant manning some weird piece of technology.

“Gar jung.” He said, and went back to what he was doing.

“Oh.. you’re no help!” Spike yelled. “Gordon, come on!” He begged.

“Spike, you shot me.” I said.

“I know, but I didn’t mean to!” He tried to explain.

“Well, maybe you should learn the rules of gun safety.” I said, and stepped out of the chamber, now fully healed and revitalized.

“What are they, even??” He asked, flinging his arms out.

I stopped.

I put a hand to my chin.

“I’m not sure.” I said, and shrugged.

“What do you mean you’re not sure!?” He yelled.

“They didn’t tell us at Black Mesa.” I began to explain, moving my hands around try and find the right words. “They just kinda.. expected us to know them. I had planned on researching them, but I only really learned how to shoot a gun in the first place, like, a day prior to the incident. If I recall, it was because of some mandatory training thing.” I explained.

...

“Wait, what the buck?” Spike asked. “They taught you how to shoot a gun.. a day prior to you actually needing it? What else did they teach you?” He asked, seeming to come to a revelation.

Not quite catching on yet, I continued. “Well, they taught me how to run, how to crawl, how to land, and- wait.” I said. It finally dawned on me.

All of the things I was taught.. it was all stuff I needed to use to survive in Black Mesa.

...who knew? Who knew about it?

Who knew it was going to happen?

Who told the company?

Were they just.. taking chances? Just in case?

Or does it go deeper than that. Did everyone know? Everyone except me?

Why wouldn’t they tell me?

Also, wait. Another thing: Why did the military show up so quickly? Were they all just.. on-hand? Why were they all able to survive for so long against the aliens? Did THEY train for it too?

..they all knew, didn’t they?

But who could’ve-

Wait a minute.

I bet it.. I bet it was that briefcase fucker!

Did he know the whole time? I bet he did.

..

I waited for a response.

You there, briefcase fucker?

...

Guess not. God damn-

“Gordon, you alright there?” Spike asked, tapping my shoulder. Huh?

“What?” I asked, snapping back to reality. Ope, there goes gravity.

“You kinda froze there for a bit. I’ve been trying to get your attention for a little while there, but you wouldn’t snap out of it. What was all that about?” Spike asked, concern clearly present in his tone.

“Oh.. uh.” I started. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” I settled on, which definitely didn’t raise suspicion.

“You sure?” He asked again.

“Yes.” I finished.

Spike thought about it, and then shrugged. “Okay. I can’t force you to talk,” He sighed. “but know that I’m always willing to listen.”

“Thanks.” I said. “Oh, and, about the whole you shooting me thing?” I went back to our previous topic. Nice segue.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“I don’t really care. The suit protected me, I was messing with you.” I revealed, and grinned at his surprised face.

“You-!” He began, but couldn’t think of anything. “You!” He settled on, before facepalming.

I began to laugh. Ah! He should’ve seen the look on his face. The ol’ “you shot me and I got pissed but not really”trick. A classic!

Surely everyone knows that one.

Spike groaned. “Ugh, whatever. Let’s just go.” He muttered, pointing towards the path onwards.

“Alright.” I agreed, and walked towards the weird green things that flew up into the air after touching a bounce pad.

Shiiet.. this looks fun.

“Hm. These ones seem to be super powerf-“ Spike began, but I pushed him off the ledge and into a boost pad. He shouted as he flew up. “YOU DIIIiickk!!”

I giggled like a little kid and hopped onto the jump pad, shouting in joy as I began to fly up at an intense speed. This is great.

The adrenaline, the speed, the wind blowing past my ears. It’s all great.

This must be what it’s like to fly.

But, sadly, it didn’t last long. The end of the ride was rapidly approaching.

I changed my trajectory in the air to begin flying forward, and flipped to land my feet on top of the next conveyor.

And he sticks the landing. +10 ‘absolutely fucking sick’ points. That was awesome.

I hopped off halfway through the conveyor ride to jump onto another booster. I flew up to the next conveyor, and saw that I would get to go on another one of the giant boost pads. Hell yeah.

Wait, where’s Spike?

“Freeman, you dick!” He said, and hopped up from where I just was. Oh. Seems he took longer than I did. “Why did you do that?” He asked, pointing a finger at me.

“You shot me.” I said, and jumped onto the next big pad.

“Woo!!” I yelled out as I went flying.

“But, I thought you- ugh, whatever!” Spike said, and jumped onto the boost. “Woo, I guess.” He said as he crossed his arms in the air.

What a Negative Nancy.

At the end of it all, I got sucked into what seemed to be a pod. Spike smacked into it and fell back down, which I felt more bad about than anything. Didn’t feel like laughing at his pain this time around.

The pod began to move, and I was soon dumped onto what looked like a pile of dead bodies. Ew.

I hopped off and waited for Spike, settling down in a mostly-clean corner. He’ll swing by eventually.

And I was right. After only about a minute, he showed up. The man of the hour.

“Ew, what is this?” He asked, flinging some weird goop from his foot.

“A pile of bodies, or something.” I said, not exactly knowing what it was myself.

“AUGH!” He yelled, and jumped off quickly, flying rather far. He rolled to stand back up when he landed, and backed away from the pile. “That’s nasty.” He said, and gagged.

“Tell me about it.” I said, and shot the weird branch stuff behind us.

Zip zoom, we were flying again.

Forward, right, up, left, right, down.

Landing jets.

..rather disoriented, I fell against the nearby wall and began leaning on it for support. I didn’t expect that. At all.

I just wanted to get out of there. Maybe climb up there or something, like I would with a vent. How was I supposed to know it was a super vacuum suck machine?

I heard a grunt, a slam, and Spike groaning in pain.

I turned to look at him, and he stood up slowly. He then vomited everywhere.

Wincing, I turned away so as to avoid making myself sick. “You alright there, bud?” I asked.

“F-fine.” He said, and sniffled.

You know what, I don’t even blame him for barfing his guts out.

When the world finally stopped spinning, I got a good look at where we stood. The room was bare except for a window. Tinted red, it allowed us to see a giant contraption.

“Oh, what the fuck is that?” I asked upon first glance.

The original Xen was so much better than this shitshow.

Author's Note

Title reference: Manhunt. Title recommended by my hombre that prefers to go by “Xx_M1LFHUNT3R_xX” as he most likely doesn’t want his real username on the horse website.

Yo waddup. Sorry for this taking a while, I really put it off for no reason. The rough draft was complete for like 2 weeks, I really just didn’t want to edit it.

Also, what’s up with the big time skip? Well, two reasons that happened. One. Xen is getting very, very boring to write. It’s not even writing at this point it’s just copying down from a YouTube video. Two. My game updated while I was playing interloper, so I never even got to finish that part. I had to skip straight to the nihilanth. I’m trying to leave that part of Xen still as blind as possible (so I can see it on my next playthrough) so I skipped some of it.

But anyway, have a good day, love y’all, and..

Thanks for reading!

Expurgation

I rolled to my right, conserving my momentum and using it to stand back up quickly. I pulled a string with my teeth and a chorus of bangs sounded out, quickly killing the bloody-four-blade-legged beast.

I let the string fall from my mouth, where it then sat rather uncomfortably on my cheek, being held on only by a flimsy piece of duct tape.

It sucked, but it worked.

I pressed the magazine release and grabbed hold of the falling object, where I then checked the metal pieces in the plastic case. I popped it back into the weapon when I saw I had a couple left.

After all of that, I continued on. I need to find Princess Celestia and Luna. They can help me. They can get another message out. A warning. Something to warn the citizens of Equestria about these.. things. Creatures. Creatures far worse than what we’re already seeing.

Forget small crabs and electric brown stallions, these things have blade hooves!

But back on track. Celestia and Luna.

I just have to find a way to where they are, and hopefully not run out of ammunition doing it. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Oh.. look at me. I feel like one of those action heroes from Spike’s comic books.

“Yippee-Kai-Hay, motherbucker.” I said in a deep voice, giggling to myself afterwards.

The giggling stopped when I had to roll backwards to avoid being shot and killed by one of those camouflage monsters. I pulled the string, let loose a few shots to the head, and took all of its spare ammunition.

I closed my eyes upon hearing a click, and opened them when the bang went off. My ears rang but I was able to pull the string and fire at the monster I had named (cleverly, might I add) ‘Flashbang’.

The bastards were fast, quick, and the only way you could avoid them was by listening for a click.

But that’s not important.

Gotta keep moving.

“Rainbow, get yer flank back in that bed.” Applejack said, her voice slightly muffled by the pan handle in her mouth.

“No! I can fight!” I said, holding my baton in my own mouth, my voice also rather muffled.

All the while trying desperately to ignore the searing pain in my side. As one does.

“No, ya can’t. You’re inj-“

Clank

Clankclankclank

Applejack immediately went into a more defensive position upon hearing the noise. We both recognized that sound. It was the sound of one of those.. things, walking down the hall. Usually it would walk right past the room.

But this time the sound was close.

Too close.

...

Suddenly, a loud screech rang out as a pair of blades went right through the doors we had closed and locked. The door was ripped off its hinges and thrown to the floor as a bladed monster crawled into the room, with all the grace of a dying monkey.

The foals behind us screamed in fright, and I could tell that Applejack was terrified too. This isn’t your average evil monster. This thing has one goal, and one goal only. A goal that it seems to be great at.

Kill.

Kill everything that moves.

It began to walk closer, and Applejack backed up a step. “Stay back.” She muttered, seemingly talking to it.

It moved closer once more. This thing didn’t understand speech.

“Stay back!” Applejack yelled, charging it and attempting to hit it with her pan.

It jumped out of the way, and landed behind her. I already knew what was going to happen.

But.. Rainbow Dash.. isn’t fast enough. Nopony is.

I shut my eyes, preparing for the sound of a slice and a dead friend. You may think I’m a coward..

but what can I do in this situation?

..

The sound never came.

Two more clangs, and I opened my eyes.

The thing was leaving through a vent on the ceiling.

“What the..?” I muttered.

“What on Equus was that?” I asked out loud, dropping my baton on the floor and rapidly looking around. Where did it go, exactly? Will more come? Will spiders bleed from the walls?!

“Uhh..” Applejack muttered, and then passed out on the floor.

Oh.

I continued to look around aimlessly, for any form of an answer. Did it not see us? No, that’s not possible. It dodged Applejack. Was it intimidated? Also not possible. These things have probably killed an entire castle full of ponies by now.

Jeez. Look at me. I just said a bunch of monsters killed hundreds like it was nothing.

These past few days have messed me up. No joke.

But getting back on track..

“Maybe it.. maybe it didn’t want to hurt us? At all? Maybe it knew that these kids were.. well, kids?” I theorized out loud.

I scratched my muzzle. “It’s a possibility, but it doesn’t make much sense. Why spare US? Why not everypony else?”

I shook my head. Applejack is passed out on the floor. I should probably pay attention to that instead of.. whatever the tartarus just happened. Hindsight can wait, foresight is what’s important.

As I was picking up Applejack and setting her on a bed, I began to think once more. But not about the monster.

‘I wonder what Gordon and Spike are up to.’

The smell of sulfur and cat piss molested our nostrils as we sat on the giant rising elevator. We were out of ammunition, Spike’s bat broke in half, my crowbar had a tiny crack, and neither of us had any armor or were above 10 percent health.

This, I can say, is one of the worst, if not THE worst thing I’ve ever gone through.

And I went through high-school chemistry! Yeah, I know!

Why do you think I went with theoretical physics?

Shaking my head, I cringed at the amount of dried blood that flaked off. That’s so gross. I need around.. 8 showers. 9 tops. Just to clean off my torso.

Motherfuckin-

“Hey, Freeman?” Spike grumbled, interrupting my thoughts. His voice was hoarse from the amount of yelling and screaming done in the past few days.

“Yeah?” I responded, voice equally as tired and gravelly.

“Do you think there’s an afterlife?”

Well, that came out of left-field.

But do I? Do I believe in an afterlife?

“..yeah. I do.” I started, “I’m not Christian, or, religious or anything.. but I believe cough I believe something is there.” I replied, wiping some blood from my lips. Eugh.

I’m dying, aren’t I?

“Good.”

Well, of course. We’re always dying, every day of our lives. The subtle march of time forward. Death is inevitable.

But early death? It’s.. it’s possible.

Do I WANT it to be possible, though? That’s really the question here.

At this point? I’m.. I’m not even sure. I want to save Equestria, that’s probably the only reason I’m still here; pure anger, hatred, contempt and determination.. but it’s tiring. It’s all tiring. My mood and opinions on the topic of saving the world have changed so many times I’m just.. I’m just over it. Honestly. Being the hero has done nothing except fuck up my mental state and make me question ending it all. Never in my life have I been at this point. Even when I was a teenager, the time where hormones are raging and depression is common.. I was still a rather optimistic guy.

But my normal life just seems like a thing of the past, doesn’t it? I’m in way too deep here. Man.. What was I thinking?

I didn’t even have a choice, did I? No, but technically I did, yes.

Damn it.. Why did I push that sample into the machine? I knew it was unstable. The machine itself was unstable, but the unknown material was making it even more so. We were putting everyone in Black Mesa in danger. Women, ch-

Children..

Did Eli and his family make it out okay?

Kleiner. Barney. Did they all make it out okay?

I.. I hope so.

But I need to stop this. Stop this right now. I do this way too often. Reminiscing. I need to man the fuck up, grow a pair, and continue on. I.. am a man. A man. With a dick. A man with a dick. Not a bitch with a tiny dick.

Do I have a masculinity complex? MAYBE! Do I care? NO! Let’s move!

I began to move my arms to stand, only to realize that one of them was completely paralyzed.

Uh oh.

Awkwardly shuffling around, I used my other arm to push myself into a standing position. I had been laying down on the ground for.. who knows how long.

The elevator stopped moving with a clunk as it reached the top.

That was odd.. had it taken a while to move up, or had we gone through multiple cycles?

I hoped, practically prayed that it was the former. We would have been in so much danger if it was the latter.

But ignoring that for now, I looked over to Spike, and noticed he had his eyes closed. His chest moved up and down, so he wasn’t dead. Just exhausted.

I feel ya, buddy.

“But we gotta keep moving.” I muttered and shuffled over to him, tapping him on the snout when I got close enough. His face scrunched up and his eyes slowly opened.

Light sleeper, it seems.

“Hm..?” He asked, before widening his eyes in what seemed to be a panic. “Shit! Did we fall asleep??” He yelled, standing up quickly and drawing his pistol.

I shook my head. “No, just you. We’re fine.”

At least, I think it was just him. Can’t really have cognitive thought in a dream, though, so I doubt I actually fell under.

“Oh thank Celestia.” He whispered, putting a claw to his heart. After a deep breath to gain his bearings, he turned to look at me fully. “So, where to now?” He asked, looking around the environment.

“We might wanna get off this elevator, first things first.” I said, and jogged to remove myself from the contraption- arm flailing weightlessly at my side.

The area we were in now was very red. It was seemingly a bridge between two rooms, the first room being, well, the elevator, and the second room being this new one coming up. It looked like some kind of cave opening, but more.. professional? Like someone tried to make it look nice.

As soon as we walked into the cave-like structure, I took notice of the technology sprouting from the walls. More Xen technology that shouldn’t be physically possible.. standard affair.

When we reached a window, though, was when things got.. weird. Good? Happy? Weird.

We were able to see inside of another room, one that contained strange tubes with things inside of them. Some were things from my world (I’m eyeing that SPAS-12, fuck yes) and some objects were things from Spike’s world. Like a quill and parchment, or a rainbow apple.

Both of us wanting to get the stuff inside, we quickly turned and rushed to the opening in the wall that lead to it.

...But not before crying tears of joy at the holy grail.

A healing pod.

Spike allowed me to go first, and when I stepped inside.. fuck.

It’s better than a hot shower after a cold day. It’s better than peeling the plastic off a new piece of technology. It’s..

It’s better than discovering a formula that works for the elements and energies used in a theory!

My arm regained motion, my bruises and cuts healed, my gunshot wound from accidental friendly fire healed, the burns disappeared. My psyche already felt better, my mood brighter.

I don’t know what I would do without this thing.

Health and Armor now at 100 and 100 respectively, I stepped out and let Spike hop in.

While waiting, I attempted to rub my goosebump-riddled arms only to remember that I was wearing the suit. Damn. This thing that has saved my life on many occasions gets in the way of something I want to do once?! Bullshit! I hate this thing!

I shook my head, chuckling at my own joke. It wasn’t funny.. but sometimes you just need to let out a giggle or two. It’s good for the soul, as they say.

As I finished my thought, Spike stepped out of the chamber.

“Buck..” he muttered. “Augh, man! That feels so good!” He said, showing a rather chipper attitude. “I’m at 110% right now. You have no idea.”

“I think I have an idea.” I said, shaking my head and grinning.

“Anyhow, you want to go kick more flank?” Spike said, pulling out his Glock.

“That gun is empty.” I pointed out. “Ass-kicking might not be too easy.”

“Why you always gotta be such a pessimist Gordon?” Spike said, ‘tsk’ing. “I’m sure it’ll be okay. I saw a new gun in that blue tube room, anyway! Looked like a big black rectangle.” He mentioned, seeming to be thinking back on it. The SPAS..

“Oh, shit! The SPAS! I forgot!” I said, and quickly ran towards the weird technological opening in the wall. I ducked under the passage as I entered the room of tubes.

Searching for a specific object, I damn-near squealed when I saw it.

I reached my hand into the field to grab it, but instantly pulled back upon contact with the field.

That..

Was weird.

The sensation of reaching my hand into the suspension of gravity tube. It didn’t hurt or anything, it just felt so.. different. Like weightlessness and heaviness combined.

Shaking my hand off, I reached back in and grabbed the gun, pulling it out.

I inspected it throughly. A Franchi SPAS-12, pump action. Semi-auto function seems to have been removed, having been replaced by a two-barrel system. Standard Black Mesa security guard weaponry. Folding stocks seemingly missing.. or were never there in the first place. Seeing as how it’s a pump action, though, the stock isn’t really needed anyway. 8 round magazine.

ChkCHK

6 rounds left in magazine, two rounds in the chambers.

I put my finger over the trigger, rubbing it softly. I then put my finger over the other trigger. The one for two rounds.

“Hey!” Spike yelled, scaring the absolute shit out of me.

So much so that I pulled the trigger out of impulse.

...

The safety was on. No rounds wasted.

“You kind of left me back there,” Spike continued.

Realizing I couldn’t be mad at him because what he said was completely true, I instead removed my finger from the trigger of the gun. Trigger discipline. Always treat a gun as if it is loaded. Never point the gun at someone else. Remember the rules, Freeman.

I turned to Spike, and held out the gun.

“Hey- oh, wait, is this the new gun?” He asked, cutting his own thought off. “What is it?”

“This is a shotgun.” I said, beginning to enter nerd mode. “It’s capable of firing one or two rounds at a time, powered by a pump. Instead of using magazines, it uses individual shells. Like the revolver, but without a speed-loader. Allow me to demonstrate,” I said, and grabbed a box of shells from a nearby tube.

I aimed down the shitty iron-sights, and pulled the single-fire trigger.

Nothing happened.

-oh, wait.

I flicked off the safety.

I re-aimed down the sights, and pulled the trigger once more. A loud BOOM resonated throughout the small room as a scatter of buckshot went straight into a cracked rock, cracking it more in the process.

“It fires a spread of shots instead of just one bullet. Now, look.” I said, and pulled the trigger again.

I showed him that I was pulling it, and he gained a look of intrigue. “Why isn’t it firing?”

“This is why, my boy.” I said, and pulled the pump. I then pulled the trigger.. and it went off. As expected.

“Wait, so, you have to pull that thing after every shot?” He asked, seeming to easily catch on.

I pulled the pump, and nodded. “Yep. This gun is usually used either semi-automatic or pump, but Black Mesa seems to have a custom version of it to make it only work as pump action. The reason? Well; I’m not entirely sure. But it works.” I said, shrugging.

“I see. You mind if I give it a try?”

I nodded, handing it off to him and walking behind his back.

He fired, pulled the pump, and fired again.

“What’s this other trigger do?” He asked, putting a claw over it.

“Fires two rounds at once.” I replied.

He pulled it, and could barely hold on when it went off. “Woah!” He yelled, and laughed. “That was awesome!” He pulled the pump, using more strength than the normal pump to do so. Two rounds, two chambers, more effort. Makes sense, right?

He fired it one more time, and chuckled again. He pulled the pump.

He attempted to fire the single shot, but was confused when it didn’t go off.

“Did it jam?” He asked, beginning to inspect the gun. “Or does it just not work like that..”

He continued to inspect, and I let him do so. He wound eventually figure it out.

Though, when he began to look down the barrel, I moved it away from his face and back into my hands. “It’s magazine is empty, guy.” I explained, grabbing the box of shells.

“Oh.” He muttered.

“Now, look, I’ll show you how to reload it.” I said, and pulled out a shell. I popped it in, and continued to do so until the magazine was full.

Going for badass points, I put it vertically off to the side and pulled the gun downwards to pull the pump and chamber the shell.

“Why did you pull the pump after reloading?” He asked.

“That’s how the gun works.” I began to explain. “The pump both ejects spent shells, and chambers a round. It’s like pulling the slider on the Glock.”

He nodded. “I see.”

“Yep.”

...

“So.. who gets the gun?”

We were both waiting for the other to say that. I’m glad he said it.

“There’s only one of them and two of us.” He continued.

I put a hand to my chin.

“You.” I said, and handed it to him.

“What? Why??” He asked, barely holding onto the gun. He didn’t expect me to do that, I would have to guess.

“Because.” I said, and pulled out my crowbar. “Your bat broke.”

..

“Right. It did, didn’t it?” He said, scratching his neck.

“How does that even happen, by the way?” I asked.

Spike was too embarrassed to admit that he had dropped it, and it had fallen hundreds of feet down the elevator shaft.

Freeman would have laughed.

Author's Note

Uh.. I’m back?

Reasons this mf was delayed for about 8 billion years: video game fun, writing not so much, music playlist got boring

But I bought some new songs, got bored of my stupid games, and wanna be back on the grind. We don’t have much left to go guys. We’re in the end game now.

I love y’all, and..

Thanks for reading!

The World Ain’t Slowin’ Down

Once the small rising platform had stopped ascending, I hopped over to the larger platform.

I began to look around as I slowly shuffled towards the glowing ball of orange and green. A teleporter. Alien technology protruded from the walls surrounding us, all in their own separate branches. Like one big diamond. They were clearly what was powering said teleporter.

Looking towards Spike, I nodded at the orb.

“You want me to go first?” He asked.

“Would you kindly?” I replied.

He nodded, and hopped in.

I quickly dove in afterwards.

...But I hadn’t learned. Of course I hadn’t learned. You can go to college for years to be book smart, but you can’t do anything to increase common sense. You can be Einstein in the sheets but Forrest Gump in the streets.

Dammit!

As I lay on the hard ground, nose chocked full of mud, I contemplated if I should even get up again. This has happened so many times at this point. Too many times. I only do it to look cool. Diving into the portal has NO advantage, it’s NOT faster, and it ONLY CAUSES ME PAIN.

Why, Freeman. Why must you keep doing stupid things in the pursuit of looking cool? It didn’t work for Caroline in high school, what makes you think it’ll work when you’re twenty-fucking-seven and in the company of the only other male in this whole dimension?

“Freeman, you alright? Or did you get knocked out?” Spike asked, but I could hear the grin in his voice. “Because that would be REAL STUPID OF YOU, GANGSTA!”

“I’m fine.” I grumbled, pushing myself up and standing. “And what the hell was up with that?” I asked.

Since when does he say “gangsta”?

He shrugged, “I dunno. Felt like trying something new.” He said, and did finger guns.

“Never say that ever again.” I said, taking off my glasses and starting to clean them.

“Fair enough.” He said

Smiling to myself for saving a man from a life of disappointment and zero chicks, I put my glasses back on my face. They were smudged to hell, the crack in the lens was only getting bigger, and the tape holding the two frame pieces together was wearing down more and more.

But I could still see. I could still shoot. I could still fight.. and that’s all that mattered. No time to complain when there’s time to be an alien-ass kicking cool dude.

“Gordon..”

Snapping to attention, I looked around for the source of the noise. What the hell was that?

It wasn’t Spike.

In the process of looking at my surroundings, I took notice of where we actually were.

It was so.. different. So much so that I didn’t notice at first. We were in the last area. The literal home stretch. There’s a giant hell machine in the center island, that of which houses a giant red orb.

A red orb, that when touched, will lead you to the Nihilanth.

The last time I was here, it was dark. Black. I could hardly see. Voices shouted in my ears, and I felt like my head was going to explode. Platforms were tiny, and I almost died multiple times because I felt like death. I had been running purely off morphine.

Now?

It’s bright. Stingrays flew through the air, giving another layer of detail to the already oceanic environment. Larger, more open rocks lead up to the giant hand-shaped center island. The center island itself was pretty, too. No longer is the feeling of it dark and foreboding, instead being replaced by one of.. ominousness. I don’t get scared looking at it, I just get curious.

The blue environment probably helps. Either that, or I’m just used to it, having already seen it.

“Holy shit, that thing is terrifying.” Spike blurted out.

Oh yeah. It’s most definitely the second thing.

“It’s not that scary..” I jokingly replied.

In all seriousness, this is much better than last time.

Still doped-up on morphine though. That’ll never change.

Spike slowly turned his head toward me, seeming to have taken what I said seriously. “Gordon, how bucked is your head?”

“A-augh! I am offended, young man!” I said, raising my voice in mock surprise. “I am only a little bit mentally damaged!”

...

Snorting, Spike began to chuckle lightly. “Y-yeah, heh, alright. Whatever you say, man.”

Shaking his head, he pulled out his revolver. He reached into his ammunition pocket and pulled out a speed-loader, which he popped evenly into the slots and peeled away the plastic. He popped the cylinder back into place and gave it a spin for good measure.

After watching him reload all his weapons like a dope, (we found some ammunition in that tube room. It wasn’t much, but it could get us somewhere) I realized that I should probably be reloading too.

I pulled out an empty Glock magazine and a box of 9mm ammunition. Popping each individual bullet into the fifteen round mag, I finished and put the elongated piece into the bottom of the pistol. I pulled back the slide to chamber a round, and I moved onto my revolver. A speed-loader, push the cylinder back, spin for good luck.

And that’s it. That’s all I have. I really wish I had an MP5..

but I don’t think I’m gonna get one.

Fuck.

Life would be much easier with one. Oh, full auto, not much recoil.. how I miss you.

Spike snapped his finger in front of my face, “Gordon, you there?” He asked.

Jump-starting my brain, I quickly replied, “Huh? What?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for like 15 seconds, dude.” He raised an eyebrow. “You alright?”

“Uh, sorry. I’m fine. Thanks for worrying though.” I responded.

“Yeah no problem. Anyway, I was gonna ask. Are you ready to go? We have a.. well, we have a world to save.” He finished, turning his head to look at the red orb so as to complete his speech with a dramatic flair.

I took a deep breath.

I ran a hand through my hair.

I checked the chamber on my Glock.

I spit on my crowbar and rubbed it in.

I adjusted my glasses.

I pat down my suit.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“That’s what I like to HEAR!” Spike said as he ran, jumped, and boosted to the next platform.

I quickly joined him, and we began to race across the platforms.

Dumb, stupid idea, but we really felt like we were on the top of the world. We were invincible. We had made it this far, why would we die now?

We could feel the plot armor flowing through our bones as we landed on the last platform. The one housing the teleporter.

Spike sighed, and turned to me. “No more hesitating! Freeman, why don’t you go first?” He said, nervously grinning.

I smirked. Guess it’s my time to shine.

I took a step back, and began running.

I jumped into the portal, but I didn’t dive.

I had learned.

A few flashes, a couple loud noises, and there I was.

A dry plot of land.

A glowing forcefield.

And a giant baby cunt.

“Free..man..” It growled.

“Bring it on, you little bitch!” I yelled, pulling out my revolver.

I turned to Spike, expecting him to be there.

But he wasn’t.

Upon seeing Freeman jump into the portal, I closed my eyes as a bright light flashed. Damn-near blinded me completely.

When I was able to open my eyes again, I noticed a severe lack of a portal.

...

Where.

The Buck.

Did it go?

Slowly beginning to panic, I looked around for it. Maybe it changed positions? Maybe it’s going to come back soon?

Anything?! Please tell me I’m not stuck here!

Just as I felt I was going to have a legitimate panic attack, I heard a loud “CHK” noise.

Another portal had opened.

This one was more red than the previous, and while it greatly upset me and instilled a form of primal fear into my cold blood..

I ran straight into it anyway.

I didn’t want this one to disappear, too.

A couple loud noises, a few flashes,

And I landed in a pool of water.

“Gross..” I muttered, feeling how murky and thick it was.

“Spike..” I heard, and looked up.

A few crystals lined the walls of this thin arena, along with a giant.. baby.. thing? That had some weird metal piece instead of legs.

I think this is it.

Turning towards Freema-

“Freeman? W-Where did you go?”

Bdump

Bdump

Bdump

Bdump

BDUMP

BDUMP

BDUMP

My head felt like it was going to split in two as I walked down the hall. My hooves were tired, my throat was dry, and I was positively going to overdose on painkillers if I were to take even just one more.

But I’m not far. I can sense it. I’m almost there.

Almost to the room I had so desperately been hoping to reach. The room I had been wanting to get to this time. The room that can help me.

I’m almost safe. Equestria is almost safe.

I just have to keep moving, and hope I don’t encounter any more of those monsters. Pray I don’t encounter any more. I’m out of ammunition, and I don’t see anything that could feasibly work as a weapon in my general vicinity.

If I encounter another one, it might be over.

Knock on w-

Clank

The color drained from my face upon hearing that sound. Speak of the bucking devil.

No.

I can’t- no, I can’t let it end like this. Not like this!

Pushing aside any pain, I let the adrenaline take over as I began running. No!

I knew where I was. I had followed the map. I knew where I needed to go.

Up this set of stairs and a left, then a right. I do that and I’m there. I do that and I’m bucking THERE!

I’m not far. The clanking is getting faster. More rapid.

I’m up the stairs. Everything hurts, but I don’t think about it. My eyesight is cloudy from the headache, and I can’t see anything except what’s directly in front of me. Like a sick version of tunnel vision.

I take the left turn. Just the upcoming right and I’m free.

I hear a loud clang and a whoosh behind me, and I take that as my cue to jump. The bladed creature passes harmlessly under me, flying through the air. It stops itself and turns towards me.

Don’t stop.

Can’t stop.

Won’t stop.

It sharpens one blade with the other, and I charge it. Using all of the force available to me, I head-butt it before it can try anything.

Disoriented and clearly shocked, it spends a few moments getting its bearings straight. I use this as an opportunity to run past.

My head is now in agonizing pain. I didn’t do the head-butt right. It hurts. It bucking hurts.

I turn right.

But I’m almost there. I can see the door.

Just a couple more-

SWISH

...

Instantly, I began to feel the burn of immense pain on my face and held my eye. It got my eye! It got my bucking eye!

I let my guard down to feel around the eye, which was a bad move.

Immediately, I felt something slice cleanly through my foreleg.

I lost my balance and fell, where I then began to scream, feeling all of the pain hit me at once.

It was over.

My eye was cut and most likely damaged forever, one of my legs was just- gone, my head hurt, I’m high on drugs, I’m bleeding from almost every orifice.

I’m going to die.

I had tried, but it was meaningless. I had failed.

And I was so close to victory, too!

But I couldn’t do it.

I heard a loud screech and some clanging. Something grabbed me and began to drag me, but I didn’t care.

What could I have changed? I probably should’ve kept around a melee weapon. That would’ve made fighting just the slightest bit easier. Maybe I could’ve conserved my ammunition? I was kind of reckless with it, as I thought those gun monsters would’ve been more common. Those blade ones sure were.

They were nowhere near as common as I thought, which was lovely.

Maybe I shouldn’t have gone out in the first place. If it wasn’t for Applejack, maybe-

No. No.

It’s not Applejack’s fault.

Sure, she knew it was dangerous.. But there’s no reason it should’ve taken as long as it did.

“Go get help” is a very easy task. The only reason it was so hard was because it felt like the castle was activelyworking against me. Rubble would crush entrances, doors would be locked, helpful ponies would be killed. I had to go the most roundabout way possible.

I just.. I don’t blame you, Applejack. I hope you know that.

I don’t blame anypony. This is not anypony’s fault.

It was one big shit sandwich, and we all had to take a bite.

Heh..

I felt my vision get brighter. Is this what they mean when they say “Don’t go into the light”?

I can definitely see what they mean, but-

“Pinkie, wake up!”

Huh?

I’m.. not dead?

“Pinkie, wake up. It’s the Princess.”

The Princess? What does she need?

Usually she just wants Twilight.

“Pinkie!”

I should probably see what she wants.

Slowly opening my left eye, I looked around. Princess Celestia looked down at me, her horn glowing.

I didn’t feel any pain. That must be what spell she’s casting. A painkilling one?

Has to be. I feel no pain. I know my injuries aren’t healed, though. Healing spells don’t exist. Matter cannot be created nor destroyed, so magically creating skin cells and blood cells and white blood cells and fur to heal wounds wouldn’t make sense.

But I do appreciate the painkiller spell.

“Pinkie, thank Faust you’re awake!” Celestia said, her horn losing its glow.

“Y-yeah.”

Truth be told, I had kind of.. accepted my death. This was a bit of a shocking outcome.

“What on Equus happened to you?” She asked, concern present in her tone. Princess Luna looked rather concerned too.

Coughing to clear my throat, I tasted copper. Hm.

“I- uh, it was those, uh, blade monsters.” I stuttered out, not really feeling too well. “They got me, heh.” I said, trying to lighten the mood slightly.

“What? Blade monsters? You mean the ones with claws? The zombies?” She asked.

Raising an imaginary eyebrow, I clarified. “No? Those blade monsters that look sort of like mannequins? You know the ones. The ones that have only been invading your castle for the past few hours..” I muttered that last part sarcastically.

“Pinkie..” She started.

“Yeah?” I asked, kinda worried that now I would be banished for insolence. Maybe making a sarcastic remark to the Princess wasn’t a good-

“I haven’t seen any monsters like that.”

...

Huh?

Author's Note

Alright.

I think I know where I want to go with this.

I’m going to write it down in a plot outline. I’m not gonna let writer’s block hit me again. Fuck that.

I love you guys. I’m finishing this. I’m gonna end this chapter in my life.

Thanks for reading.

GFM

“Wh-what do you mean, you haven’t seen anything like that? “ I asked, becoming very, VERY scared.

Are they really the Princesses? Are they.. another type of monster? Something that can shape-shift, like a changeling? Are they changelings??

“We mean just that,” Luna spoke up, interrupting my thoughts. “We’ve been in this room for hours. If nothing came in, then nothing was seen by us. I don’t doubt that these monsters exist, because I don’t see any reason for you to lie, but I certainly haven’t seen any of them wandering about.”

Damn it.

Buck.

Buck! They haven’t seen them!

This makes, ugh, what does this mean? For me. For Equestria. I’m..

Having a hard time formulating thoughts.

It’s cold, yet my head feels hot. Everything is hot.

W-wait a minute..

My leg..

Is it ? still bleeding?

“Oh my Faust, Pinkie! We forgot to-!”

I was out before I hit the floor.

Oh, shoot! Shoot! Shoot!

Immediately after seeing Pinkie fall, I picked her up in my magic. Shoot! How could we let this happen!? What do we do?!

We have to go! We have to get her to the medical wing. I don’t- if Pinkie was right, and there really are those other monsters out there, then we have to move fast.

I don’t know if my doctors are alright, but I pray they are.

I really, really do.

I push through the exit door and into the hallway, where I begin galloping as fast as I can. Luna rushes out after me, following close behind. I get to the stairs, and I run down, and in the process, nearly trip over my own hooves. I quickly right myself.

I just have to take a right here and it takes me straight to the medical wing. Just one-

It’s blocked.

The path is blocked by debris.

The only way is to take a left. But that takes nearly 4 times longer. Damn it-!

Getting quickly fed up, I hoof Pinkie off to Luna. She’s surprised but she does grab her in her magic.

I charge up a destruction spell, and I fire. The debris is almost instantly destroyed and the path is open.

But it made a very, very loud noise.

And I realize my mistake upon hearing a cacophony of screams, growls, and roars.

“We gotta go,” I said, turning to Luna.

“Wh-“ she starts, but I cut her off,

“Now!”

She shakes her head and nods, and I take off. A vent cover behind us is quickly destroyed, but I don’t stay long enough to see why. I continue running and destroying more and more debris. The medical wing. We’re almost there.

“Hold on, Pinkie.” I said, looking behind me to look at Luna, who still held her.

My pupils turned to pinpricks.

A horde of them.

Monsters of all sizes, shapes. Chasing us. Luna had tears in her eyes. She was terrified, and I was too.

There were some of the zombies, some of those crabs and even a few of those gators; but there were also.. others. Tan beasts with blades for limbs that were coated in blood. A tiny, hump-backed creature that continuously screeched whenever I stared directly at it. It seemed to be trying desperately to latch onto something, given the fact that it was hopping quickly instead of running. I wanted to stay away from it.

Are.. are those the beasts Pinkie was talking about? Oh my..

One of those creatures jumped high and almost latched onto Pinkie, but I shot it with a knock-back spell.

..it froze in the air and fell back down.

That’s not.. why didn’t it?

It jumped again, and I blasted it with a flame spell.

Again, it just froze and fell to the floor.

Wait. No..

No, no, no no no!

No! Oh no! Does magic not WORK on these things?!?

We’ve gotta keep running. Luna takes this initiative and runs ahead of me.

The medical wing is right there.

Something latches onto my head, and I hear a loud bang, along with my face feeling like it got hit by a ton of bricks. Everything was hot.

The last thing I heard was Luna screaming my name, and the last thing I saw was a lot of blood.

I dodged a flying piece of rock with a boost jump to the left. I landed hard on my feet as I continued to shoot at the barriers protecting the healing crystals.

One shot. Wait.

One shot. Wait.

Two shots? Nope. I missed the crystal and hit the barrier.

One shot. Wait.

One shot-

CRSHSHSHSHHSKKKK

The crystal is destroyed.

RREEEAAAHHHHH

FUCK YEAH!

I dodge a giant laser and fire at the next crystal. No ammo. Shit!

I pressed the mag release and watched the metal piece fall out of the handgun. Once that happened, I grabbed another magazine from my suit, this one only containing 4 bullets. I need a refill.

I put the magazine into the gun,

Wait, shit. That’s backwards.

I turned it around and put the magazine into the gun, and shortly thereafter I pulled the slider to chamber a round. Good to go.

I aimed at the barriers protecting the crystal, and pulled the trigger-

KRSHSH

A giant rock formation burst from the ground, directly in front of me. I quickly lose my balance and fall on my ass.

“Fuck!” I yelled. That was really, really close. Damn.

I stood back up and looked over at the crystal. I aimed down the iron-sights, and moved the gun a little to the left, due to the inaccuracy of the damn thing. The sight was off! Can you believe that?

Anyway, I fired and the small piece of barrier was destroyed. I fired 2 more shots and the mag was empty.

I put the Glock back onto its hook and pulled off my revolver. .357 ammunition, don’t fail me now!

Two shots, two hits; the crystal is destroyed.

The nihilanth screeches in anger, and I have to dodge another air strike.

As soon as I do, I run into one of those pods. I kick the top off and have to ignore nearly everything, save for a box of .357 and a Glock mag. Damn it all. I need more weapons!

I look up from my moment of resupply, only to nearly have my head taken off by a flying red piece of debris.

Uhhh..

Okay.

That was a close call.. again.

But I’m almost done with the crystal portion. I’m almost finished.

I rush as fast as I can to put two new bullets in the revolver. I need to make all of it count. I can’t run out of ammo in the middle of the fight.

I pull the Glock off the hook, drop the magazine, put the new one in and press the slide release. It’s the first time I’ve ever done that, but it’s the fastest way to do it. I can’t dick around and try to be cool by pulling the slider.

I need to focus.

3 shots of 9mm, I destroy one of the barrier pieces. Two shots and I destroy the one next to it, just to give myself a bigger opening.

I put the Glock on its hook and pull off the revolver. I look down the sights and pull the trigger twice. Done, done.

The final crystal is destroyed. Nihilanth screeches, and hell breaks loose.

3 green.. things, show up in the sky.

Giant rock formations shoot up next to me.

Purple orbs appear in the sky, and an entire fucking piece of a building flies out and lands next to me. There’s a box of shotgun shells visible on the desk.

If only I had a shotgun.

I look back up at the nihilanth, and notice that it’s got a force field. Hexagonal panels. I’m guessing I can destroy them.. but how much ammo does it take?

I do a test fire of one .357 bullet. The panel doesn’t change.

One more shot, and the same panel is destroyed.

Okay. It doesn’t take much. I just have to not fuck it up, and..

What the hell?

Two yellow crystals just came up from the ground.

Taking out a grenade, I pulled the pin and chucked it over. After a few seconds, it blew up and destroyed the crystal. Did the next one and focused my attention back on the giant baby thing.

That was odd. Don’t really understand the purpose of those things.. but okay.

I fired through the hole in the barrier and took two shots.

Out of ammo.

I flicked out the barrel and pushed the back. All the empty ammunition fell out, and I put a speed loader in. I pulled off the paper and flicked the barrel back in.

...

Can’t that damage the gun?

Whatever.

Three shots at the nihilanth, and a piece of Black Mesa falls next to me. There’s a box of revolver ammo on the desk.

I run up to it, but I am quickly thrown back by a piece of the Earth spiking up right under my feet.

I feel weightless as I fly through the air and land on my back roughly, almost missing the voice that says “Major fracture detected.”

I have 40 health left, and no suit power.

I stand up quickly and jump back from an orange laser. Damn it, it’s getting too tight. I don’t have much room to move around anymore.

As I’m waiting for the opening in the force field, I dodge yet another piece of Black Mesa, and turn to look at the desk for any supplies.

There’s no desk,

But there it is.

Oh.. it’s beautiful.

The.. the holy grail.

The weapon to help me in my time of need.

It’s a laboratory piece of Black Mesa.

The specific laboratory piece..

That houses the gluon gun.

Another air strike starts and I feel a pang of dread. Fuck, I can’t let it destroy that thing!

I run up to the piece of scientific machinery and pull it away right as the building is destroyed by a laser.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I quickly throw the battery pack on and aim the gluon beam at the forcefield. Ammo be damned, this thing is done.

I pulled the lever and listened to the familiar sound of scientific evolution.

Two more crystals pop out of the ground and I quickly destroy them. I aim back at the hell baby and continue to fire.

...

Out of ammo.

“Ammo be damned, this thing is done.”

That wasn’t very smart.

I roll away from an orange laser as I run up to one of those pods. I take out an electromagnetic battery and replace the one in the gun.

Fully reloaded, I continue to fire.

This is when hell broke loose once again.

The nihilanth uses a large fucking attack that destroys damn near everything around me, yet it spares me. The reason, well, fuck if I know, but I can’t think about that right now. I have to keep firing.

A bunch of dust is kicked up as the fight continues to rage on. One large attack, and these odd.. walls.. whips? Of orange shoot out. I have to focus on dodging them as I continue to fire.

This is way harder than my previous fight with the nihilanth, even considering the teleportation. That was just annoying. This is deadly.

The thing puts up a small forcefield in front of itself and I just run to the side to continue firing.

Out of ammo.

Grab another pack from another pod.

Reload.

Fire.

I jump out of the way as another air strike begins to fall down, and more of those whips shoot out. My back is against the wall as I close my eyes tightly to avoid the dust getting into my eyes, relying on luck to dodge those whips. They go in a pattern, and I pray I knew it already.

Fuck. This is bad. This is really bad.

I cover my ears as everything becomes too loud. The hot waves go by me in large amounts, and I open my eyes back up because I realize how stupid I am.

I dodge more of those whips, and they stop coming. The air strike ceases.

When it does finally all clear up, I take a moment to catch my breath.

I have 14 health.

...

Where did the rest of it go?!

Damn it. I need a medical kit, but that air strike destroyed everything.

Taking my chances, I continue to fire. If I die, I die. It was a good run- oh fuck who am I kidding. I don’t want to die. Please don’t die!

A giant fireball descends from the sky, and lands right in front of me. The pure force of it sends me flying back about ten feet.

I do a backflip in the air as I land on my feet and slide back.

I balance myself, my knees weak. My glasses are gone, there’s a loud ringing in my ears, and my nose is bleeding profusely. My vision is blurry, and my depth perception is fucked.

After not grabbing it twice over, I grip the handle of the gun tightly. I pull it and continue to fire.

The nihilanth turns towards me, it’s head crystal exposed. I aim directly at it and fire relentlessly, gripping the lever with my life.

Another air-strike starts, and I have to dance around more flame whips.

But right as the first wave passes..

KRSCH

SCCCRREEEEAAHHHHHHHH

The nihilanth begins to move erratically as I continue dodging flame whips. I get hit right in the chest by one, and right as I do, my vision goes white.

I’m outside the arena.

I watch as the island I teleported in on is blown to bits.

I’m about to celebrate, until I stop.

Wait.

Did.. did Spike ever get off that island?

He didn’t fight with me in the arena, did he..

Upon realizing the implications, I fell to my knees.

No..

45 minutes earlier.

“F-Freeman, this isn’t funny. Come out! Please!!!” I yelled, feeling an intense sense of dread and worry.

I can’t- I can’t fight this thing alone. Freeman is always there to help me. I’m nothing without him. He taught me how to reload my gun, he taught me that I just need to kick the absolute shit out of things to deal with them, he taught me how to be angry at the world and use it to my advantage, he..

He’s my lifeline.

kkkkRRRSSSHHH

A row of purple balls shoot out of the damn thing and I boost away, only to instantly hit the wall of the tiny arena. They passed in front of me and crashed into the water but that wasn’t very important.

Damn it. This arena area is tall, not wide. Using my boost won’t work very well here.

Can I use my boost to gain just normal height?

I tried using it midair, but it just pushed me forward.

Guess not.

Yelping, I ran away at his next attack. A green ball.

Alright. What do I do? This thing doesn’t look.. too harmful. But that’s not a chance I want to take.

What would Freeman do?

“Run away from that shit, dude!”

Oh yeah. Freeman has.. pretty much the same mindset as I do.

Isn’t he like, 45? That’s odd. Why does he-

The ball hit me.

I expected a great deal of pain, but I actually felt nothing, save for a familiar yet weird feeling of weightlessness. The same kind I would feel when.. teleporting?

Sure enough, I had been teleported.

This room was also tall, though I took notice of those weird things that controlled the vortiguants. They were just.. flying about.

I pulled out my revolver and took them all out individually. That wasn’t too bad. I expected way worse, really.

I reloaded my gun, and climbed up onto the nearest platform, hopping onto the next one. I continued to climb, and climb, until I reached the top.

That was really.. underwhelming.

I jumped into the purple ball at the top and found myself back in the original room.

I turned to my left, and noticed a pad on the ground. A boost pad!

I ran and jumped onto it, feeling myself go way up into the air. I landed on a platform protruding from the side of the arena, and looked around.

A crystal, a healing pool, and.. a green tube.

I grabbed the tube and popped the top off. A magazine and some shotgun shells fell out. Sweet!

I put them into my suit pouch and pulled my shotgun off the hook.

I aimed it at the crystal on the wall, and fired.

A loud BOOM resonated throughout the walls of the arena as the crystal took the force of two shotgun blasts. My ears rung and my claws ached, but I aimed and fired again.

The crystal was destroyed, and the baby monster roared.

I’m yet to fire a bullet at it. I know that it won’t do much. I need to take out those crystals first. Something about them told me they were important.

Another wave of purple. I dodged it, and jumped off the platform.

The landing gears activated and I kept moving.

On my way over to the next pad, I noticed the thing firing another green ball. These balls homed in on you. No point in trying to avoid it.

It caught me, and I was teleported again.

...

“Well this is rather HIIIGHHH!!” I yelled, falling directly into some more murky water.

Gross! It got in my mouth!

Spitting it out and trying not to lose my lunch, I looked around. This room was wide, but the only tall part seems to be where I came from. Pillars sprouted up from the floors, and more of those controllers were flying about. I took them out with my revolver. I’m glad I have plenty of ammo for this thing.

I ran over to some weird blue light and hopped up the platform. I grabbed two of those green tube things and dumped ‘em out.

Shotgun shells, some Glock ammo, some revolver ammo, a weird battery thing, and one crossbow bolt.

I grabbed the medkit, punched in the number Freeman gave me, and hooked my suit up to it. It gave me 15 percent health, and I continued on.

...so how do I get out of here?

I probably have to get up to where I came from, but- oh.

I jumped up on one of those floating balls and hung on. I’m not standing up while flying on this thing. No way. That’s a death sentence.

It took me all the way back up, and I jumped into the purple orb.

Back to the main room.

Jump on pad, shoot crystal.

Baby thing fires purple, and then green.

Take green. Large room, two pools. Ignore pools. Jump on pad that takes me all the way up to the purple orb.

Original room.

Jump on pad, destroy final crystal.

Baby thing screams. I think I’m good to fire at it now.

I take a few shots at it from my revolver, but run out of ammunition quickly.

I attempt to reload, but only find two bullets left. I.. guess I didn’t have as much ammo as I thought.

I reload the two bullets and fire at the baby thing. I put the revolver away shortly after.

I pull out my shotgun, and I fire a double-shot. Pump. And then another. Pump. One last double-shot (pump) and I’m out of ammo.

I put 8 more shells in, and pull the pump to chamber a round.

I turn my head to face it again and get a face full of green.

Oh. Here again. Same room as last time.

Ugh.

I jump on the pad quickly, avoiding a fire attack from one of those giant fucking blue things we ran away from earlier.

“I don’t want to deal with you!” I yelled as I flew through the air and right into the purple orb.

I land back in the original room.

...

All of my shotgun shells, 10 crossbow bolts, all of my Glock ammo, getting sent back to that room 8 times, and a punch from that blue thing later and it’s weird buckin’ head opens.

I think I know what I have to do.

I run up to a pad, boost, and land on the highest platform.

As I thought: a weak point. It’s a crystal.

I take out a grenade and pull the pin, tossing it into the head. It gets lodged in there and explodes.

Nothing. I do it again.

Nothing.

It fires a green ball. Buck!

I toss one last grenade, right as the green ball hits me.

As I’m falling to the floor in that same damn room, I hear a loud screech.

Did I..?

Did I do it?

I land on the ground, and my landing gears engage.

I stand around for a little bit, riding out the high.

Avoiding that blue guy, I jump on a different pad and up to a new platform.

Did I.. did I do it?

Man, buck, no, wait, I think- Hah! HAH!!!! I DID IT!!

I BUCKING DID IT!!!!

AND IT WAS SO SMOOTH! SO CLEAN! SO..

Easy.

why was killing that thing so easy?

Did I raise a reverse flag?

Usually someone says “This is gonna be easy” and it’s super hard. I went into it thinking it would be difficult..

And it was easy.

I don’t think that’s how flags work.

It didn’t put up any kind of fight. What the Tartarus..

My vision goes green, and I feel weightless. I’m teleporting.

When my vision returns, a human in a suit is standing before me.

“No..” I said, falling to my knees. It can’t be.

Spike can’t be.. he can’t be gone. There’s no WAY he’s gone. He’s survived this long, why would he die now?! Damn it!

I punch the ground in anger. Fuck!

“Don’t.. worry. He’s fine. Spike the Dragon, is.. doing fine. Heh.”

My eyes open upon hearing that bastard’s voice. What the FUCK does he want??

He said Spike was with me. Bullshit.

“Spike is dead, now, isn’t he? And you’re mocking me.” I accused, standing up slowly and pointing a finger. I’m not in the mood for his fucking games.

“..I’m hurt, Mr. Freeman. Spike.. is fine. I have told you this, I” he sharply inhales, “hope that you can learn to.. trust me, in the future.”

“Prove it.” I muttered. “Prove it to me. Prove to me that Spike is okay, or you’re fucking DEAD!” I yelled, pulling out my revolver and pointing it at his head.

Or at least, I tried to. My weapons were gone.

“I don’t need to do that. Any-way, I have a proposal for you.”

“Fuck your proposal!” I yelled. I’m not going through this shit again. Fuck him! Fuck hiring me! I would rather die!

Hell, I might!

I might die! I will die if I take this proposal. I took it last time, and look at me now. I’m practically knocking on death’s door, my glasses are broken, a lot of innocent ponies have died due to my negligence, and hell, my experiment killed all those scientists!

Fuck, man, speaking of scientists, we’ve got MY problems.. god, I probably traumatized Cheerilee..

“Are you.. sure? Because I don’t believe you have a choice, Freeman, heh.” He muttered, knocking me out of my own head.

“What?” I asked.

“I already.. took the liberty of, say, signing you up for the job. I hope you,” he sharply inhaled, “Trust my judgement.”

No, no he can’t do that. The bastard can’t do that!

“Yes.. I can.”

Did he just read my fucking thoughts?

“And don’t worry.” He started again. “You’ll find that.. Spike, is in the same position.”

“Th-that just makes me worry more! Damn it! Spike! Are you okay?!” I yelled, desperate. Please. If you can hear me just tell me you’re okay!

“Anyway. Our time is up, Freeman. It was.. good to go on this short adventure with you. But, you, have more work to do. You can see Spike when it’s.. done..”

“Damn it, you son of a bitch-!”

My vision went white.

Subject: Freeman

Status: Employee

Awaiting Next Assignment

...

Subject: Spike

Status: Hired

Awaiting Assignment

Author's Note

And that’s it.

We’re done with this story.

It’s over.

Will there be a sequel? Most likely. I kind of set up for one.

When will it come out?

Well, I don’t know. I’m finishing it before it comes out. Never again am I releasing something unfinished... because writers block seems to be an issue I greatly struggle with. I don’t want to go on month hiatuses from things ever again. That makes me feel like a dick.

Anyway, if you really got to the end, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading.

And those of you that stuck with me, that still read the new chapters even when I was going through month periods of not uploading? Fuckin,. Thank you. Seriously.

People who supported me on this, people who talked to me, people who were my friends. People who didn’t make fun of me for writing this. Thank you guys. I love you all.

Now, for I think the last time in a while, thanks for coming, thanks for being here, and...

Thanks for reading!

Goodbye for a while, guys. It was fun.