Shining Armor's Cock gets Stuck in Cadance's Ass

by AtomicClop

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Velvet, Shining Armor, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Night Light, Nurse Redheart, Porn
Length: 13099

After a spell goes awry, Shining Armor gets more than he bargained for.

After a spell goes awry, Shining Armor's cock gets stuck in Cadance's ass. Mom, Dad, dad jokes, Twilight, Spike, the fire department's rescue squad, and even Nurse Redheart are all unable to separate them.

Disclaimers: contains accidentally-in-public buttsex. Does not contain foalcon or incest.

(Feature boxed in 52 minutes! Four hours to #1!)

I came for the sexy shenanigans. I stayed for the comedy. If anyone in 2020 needs a soul-fulfilling laugh, read this story.
—Steel Quill

mein gott
—Sledge115

You will never see such hilarity in terms of stuckage clop in your life.
— Vis-a-Viscera

Preread by Steel Quill, Raleigh, Sledge115, Vis-a-Viscera, and Samey90

Art is cropped Derpibooru 1667723 (which was also the inspiration).

Published 2020-08-29 14:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-29 14:40:00 UTC

Gorilla Glue's got nothing on alicorn anal adhesion

The sun went down as Shining Armor walked home from school, the evening air chilling his sweaty flanks. He entered his house—his parents' house, as he was starting to think of it, since he would be graduating and moving out next month—and stepped into the living room, where he saw the most beautiful sight he ever saw in his life.

On the couch was a long, long pink form. As his brain caught up with his eyes, he slowly realized he was seeing a tall and slim mare, stretched out to her full length on the couch. A book was balanced on her forehooves. She looked up at him.

Shining's brain choked for a moment. Her pastel mane spilled down her back, across the tops of her wings, and her horn—

Wings.

Horn.

Pink.

"P-P-P-Princess Cadance," he spluttered. "Why are you in my house?"

She closed the book and sat up, wrapping her tail around her hooves. "Call me Cady. Shining, right?"

"Yeah. We were in history class together last semester."

She grinned. "Right! Are you getting ready for graduation? I can't wait!"

He nodded, his tongue tied. When she had sat up, before she wrapped her tail around her legs, he'd seen a hint, just a tiny glance, beneath her belly... "I, uh, I, well, you, um?"

Cadance grinned and sniffed. "Track practice?"

Fire burned in his cheeks and his belly churned with lava as he smelled himself, horribly rank from practicing his event, the mile, over and over again. "Just finished the last practice of the year."

She frowned. "I was planning to attend the meet this weekend, cheer on the school one last time before graduation, but my Auntie needs me to do a thing..."

"Your Aunt?"

She looked away, then down at her hooves. "Celestia."

"...oh."

"Your parents had to take Spike to the vet," Cadance said. "He was getting a little... flamey. So I'm keeping an ear on your sister."

"Spike?" Shining grimaced and his heart pounded. "Is Spikie all right?"

Cadance nodded. "He's fine, just really burping a lot of fire. They think he might have eaten a lizard or owl in the garden. Twilight cried when your dad said it could have been an owl."

Shining tilted his head and cocked his ears.

"Twilight's asleep," Cadance said.

With a flick of his tail, Shining said, "Well, I need a shower. When will my parents be home?"

"They expected really late," Cadance said with a smile. "Or maybe tomorrow. I brought my negli—ahem, my nightie to sleep in and my school bag, just in case I have to get your sister off to school in the morning."

Shining fought to prevent his eyeballs from bugging out.

As he showered, soaping off the sweat and stink of his exercise, he found himself with a massive hardon. He lit his horn and his magic moved down to jerk himself off... and then he stopped. What if, it was a crazy thought, but what if that flash of pussy she'd shown him as she sat up hadn't been an accident? What if using the word negligee hadn't been an accident?

He soaped and rinsed his balls and cock a second time, ensuring no sweat remained. After exiting the shower, he brushed his teeth and combed his mane.

Looking under his own barrel, he saw he was still at about half-staff, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. Besides, they were high school seniors. She'd certainly seen thousands of hardons over her years of middle- and high school, and if Shining were to risk immodesty, he knew his hardon was something to be very proud of, from a purely comparative perspective. He would let it do whatever it wanted. This was his house, and if she didn't like him popping out of his sheath, well, too bad.

And maybe, just maybe, she would like it...?

He walked back to the living room and she was gone. Her book was missing, too. He sniffed, and her scent—her wonderful, alluring scent—was still thick on the couch. There was, in fact, a strong-smelling damp spot where she had been sitting.

She hadn't been gone long.

It didn't sound like Mom and Dad were home, and he really doubted that the foalsitter... Cadance... Cady... would have left the house with Twilight asleep without at least telling Shining that he was on duty. So where was she?

He walked upstairs and paused outside Twilight's room. The door was closed, but he heard the filly's snoring.

Walking down the hallway, he passed his own bedroom, then Spike's nursery and the racked fire extinguishers outside it, and finally his parents' bedroom, all empty and quiet. At the end of the hallway, he knocked on the guest bedroom's door. "Cadance? Uh, Cady?"

"Come in!" A flash of her magic opened the door. His breath caught again.

She was stretched out once more, but this time away from him. She lounged across the light tan comforter that covered the guest bed, the length and slimness of her body emphasized by her posture, the book once again on her forehooves.

She looked over her withers at him and flicked her wings. She wore a filmy pink negligee around her barrel and tight pink panties covered her rump and half her cutie mark, her tail poking through a hole, swishing at him.

He felt the blush wash across his face again and looked at his hooves. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't know you were ready for bed."

The book snapped shut, then levitated over to the bedside stand. She smiled at him. "We've been in the same high school for four years, but never actually got to know each other. I didn't even know until recently that you were Twilight's brother. She showed me a drawing labelled 'Big Brother Best Friend Forever' and I recognized your cutie mark."

"My cutie mark?"

"It's on your... flank. Which is memorable."

He nodded, feeling dizzy. All the blood was rushing out of his head, and he felt his hardon burgeoning ever-larger underneath his barrel.

"A question, if I may...?" Cadance said, a very slight blush forming on her cheeks.

"Mmmrph?" Shining worked his mouth, his tongue thick and useless.

"Do you have two horns, or are you just happy to see me?"

Shining's eyes widened and Cadance's eyes shifted down, beneath him, to his poner.

"Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry I'll leave you alone have a good night sorry—" he stammered as he started shuffling backwards, towards the door.

Her horn flashed. The door slammed. His butt—and rather larger-than-usual-feeling balls—thumped into it.

Cadance flowed off the bed, her slim legs sliding down one-by-one to touch the floor. Then she slunk across the room towards him, her eyes half-closed and grin widening as her wings slowly perked up.

Shining stood still, frozen in place, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his cock throbbing against his belly with every pulse. His balls hung low, pendulous and painful as blood engorged them. His vision dimmed at each heartbeat, his blood pressure so high he feared a heart attack.

Feather-light at first, then more firmly, she nuzzled him, her soft pink cheek against his cheek. She moved, nibbling his ear, then his neck, shoulder, flank. Her wings stood straight up now and he looked down her flank, her muscles taught and lean, the smell of her soap and a hint of her body, even sweeter and so alluring. He knew what unicorns and pegasi and earth ponies smelled like and this wasn't any of those, and the filmy negligee was transparent, accentuating her body without hiding it, the panties tight around her firm bottom, her tail swishing...

Her nibbling moved down his ribs, around his body, underneath him, and her breath warmed the tip of of cock.

"Oh...." he said, shaking his head, suddenly dizzy.

"Wow!" she said. "Wow."

"What?"

"Your size. I'm quite an expert on penises, and that thing is enormous. It's a lance worthy of a brave knight, isn't it?" She sniffed. "Oh, you showered, too. I love a clean colt, thank you."

Shining's jaw dropped open as his brain went entirely to mush. He fought against the swirling confusion. Think, think, think of something to say! There, yes, okay, some words, words were forming, he prepared to speak...

Her soft lips clamped around the tip of his cock, the warmth and wetness like a lightning strike against the engorged sensitivity. She breathed through her nose, her hot breath rustling the coat on his underside. The tip of her tongue played with the ridge around his tip and his erection grew at least another inch, poking almost down her throat, as he hardened more. His forelegs collapsed and his upper body flopped to the floor, his jaw clacking shut as it hit the carpet.

Cadance made a slurping sound as his cock popped out of her mouth, then giggled. "Never had a blowjob before?"

Shining muttered something.

She walked around behind him and nosed under his tail, then licked slooooowly from his left ball to his right, her warm tongue pressing up between his balls as it slid across his ballsack. This time, her hot breath tickled his dock, and his entire body jumped as she used her teeth to ever-so-gently nibble on his right ball. Her saliva wet the fuzzy coat, leaving his balls warm. "I'm sorry," she asked, her breath warm across his ass, "what did you say?"

"No," he replied.

Silence. Then: "Really?"

He covered his eyes with his hooves, and pulled his tail down, concealing his nethers from her. "Really."

She pranced around in a circle, up on her tippy-hooves. "Oh! Oh hooray!"

He pulled one hoof down and glared at her with his right eye. "What're you happy about?"

She lowered her own forequarters to the ground, until her nose brushed against his. "You're a virgin."

He covered his eyes again.

"I love breaking in a new colt," Cadance said.

"I'm eighteen, I'm a stallion."

"Details, details, I just turned eighteen, too, on Monday."

"Happy birthday?"

"Thank you! Onto the bed, my knight, your lance must drive home into its target!"

"How—how—how many times have you broken in...?"

Cadance frowned and flicked her tail. "Honestly, I don't have an adding machine or a mathematician handy. Let's just say I know what I'm doing, and that you're in for a treat. Onto the bed!"

Shining pushed himself back up to all fours and looked at her. Her magic flashed and she tossed the negligee and panties aside, onto the dresser next to her light-blue duffle bag. She gestured after you with her wing.

"I, I, I, I, what, why? Why me? We've just met!"

Cadance giggled into a wingtip.

"But we shouldn't. You're a princess and I'm just me."

"The Princess of Love. And, by extension, Lovemaking."

"You're my sister's sitter."

"She's asleep."

"She'll hear."

Cadance zapped the door with a spell. "Locked."

"My parents could come home soon with Spike."

"I doubt it, the emergency vet tends to be busy."

"You... with everypony you meet?"

"No," Cadance said. "Just the cute colts. Or stallions. Or fillies. Or mares. I have standards."

"I'm cute?"

She gave a lopsided grin, biting the inside of her left cheek, and nodded.

He stood and stretched his head forward. She leaned in and kissed him and they both closed their eyes. He nibbled lightly on her lower lip. Her body shivered. Her tongue played across his upper lip in response. His hardon throbbed desperately beneath him, a thin line of sweat breaking out down his back.

He released his bite, his tongue brushing against hers as he took a half-step back. Her mouth tasted so unlike any other filly he'd kissed before: citrus, rosemary, flowers, how to describe?

She turned around, flowing back onto the bed. Her tail pointed straight up, exposing her treasures to him. His cock throbbed even harder—which he hadn't believed possible—as he saw the wonderful wet pinkness of her vulva, and the pink tightness of her asshole. Her pussy was already sopping wet, a string of her excited juices connecting her tail's dock to the top of her slit, the stickiness crossing over her ass and wetting the puckered depths of her forbidden entrance.

He licked his lips, staring at the wonders beneath her tail as they pulsed at him in time with her rapid heartbeat. "I... I think I might cum just looking at you."

She looked over her shoulder and flared her wings. "Would you believe me if I said you wouldn't be the first, or even the hundredth?"

He nodded slowly.

"I have a spell for that," she said. "If you're interested? It's called Princess Platinum's Pussy of Power. It'll rock my world, making me cum at the slightest touch, but even more important, it'll give you... endurance."

"'Princess Platinum's Pussy of Power?' That sounds like something from Ogres and Oubliettes."

Her ears perked up. "You... you like that game, too?"

He nodded again.

"Now I have an excuse to see you when your sister doesn't need foalsitting."

"You play?"

"Most of my guards play. I learned from them."

Shining raised an eyebrow. "Do they cum just looking at you?"

"My security detail are all mares. But yes, they tend to cum if I'm not careful with my tail."

She stretched out on the bed, flat on her belly, forelegs extended and rear legs spread. She flared her wings and shifted her tail as far right as it could go.

Looking over her withers again, she said, "Climb aboard."

Shining placed his forehooves on the bed, levering himself up, his rear hooves still on the carpet. His cock hung slightly down, throbbing in the cool air, her saliva drying and making a tingling sensation on his tip and ballsack.

He fought with himself. Don't do this, don't do this! Stupid. Celestia's niece, what would Celestia do to him? "I start the Academy next month," he said. "Isn't there a rule about military personnel not sleeping with princesses?"

"It only applies to Celestia, and believe me, it's not enforced."

A trickle of juices slid down her left pussy lip, rolled off her clit, and dripped onto the bedspread, leaving a wet spot.

Her clit! It was huge, the size of a tenth-bit coin, bright red amidst all the pink, and throbbing with her pulse.

Shining whined low in his throat, his resistance crumbling, his balls pulling up tight against his underside as his tail thrashed. An excuse, an excuse, think of an excuse, any excuse, and get out of there! "Will you get pregnant?"

"Nope! I've got all my spells."

Well, okay, that was good, at least. He glanced sideways at her book on the bedside stand: Canterlot Fashion Scene, Summer 989. Huh. A fashion book? Princess or not, that seemed kinda shallow and vain. Surely that was a reason not to fuck—

Cadance flexed her wings, and the lean muscles stood out under her coat, defined and sharp, and the motion rippled down her hips, to her buttocks, and her asshole pulsed at him, opening and closing with the motion of her body.

He gave up, and climbed fully up on the bed. There was no way he was denying her.

"Lay down on my back and watch the wings," she said, "then put yourself all the way in and try not to cum."

"I thought you had a spell?"

"I do," she said with a butt wiggle, "but it casts from my cervix. You need to be touching it."

"Your—your—your—"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Look, I wasn't born with this crazy alicorn body, all right? I was a pegasus until a few years ago. Every week I learn some new weird magical... thing... that other ponies don't have to cope with. Do you want the amazing sex spell or not?"

"'Princess Platinum's Pussy of Power,' you called it. She wasn't an alicorn."

"It's a unicorn spell. Ponies use it all the time here in Canterlot, my aunt says."

Shining blinked. "Please don't mention aunts or parents right now, please."

She giggled again. Shining closed his eyes and took a deep breath—her smell filled his nose, feminine and wonderful. The scent of her wet love juices was new to him, but his instincts, his body, knew what they were and what he needed to do.

Placing his hooves carefully, he straddled her, and she pulled her wings in tight to her body.

Fire seemed to boil off her, the heat of her body radiating through the inch or two of space between them, warming his belly like standing over a stove.

"I'm, I'm, I'm, I've never done this. And you're experienced. I'm going to be... disappointing."

Cadance turned her head and kissed his lips. "It's fine," she said. "You'll do great, I have confidence. Besides... I'm already so turned on you could drown a breezy in my snatch. I've always thought you were good looking, even since our freshmare year."

"Really?"

She nodded and flicked her ears. "Even back then, your cock was bigger than the seniors'. I arranged to have my locker across the hallway from yours every year so I could check on it as you grew."

"You're just saying that."

"Nope!"

"Then how come you never... never... came onto me before?"

"The opportunity never presented itself." She raised her rump an inch off the bed. "Speaking of presenting...?"

He lowered his body, his chest and belly settling onto her back. Cadance huffed softly as his weight settled onto her, but he felt her well-muscled body pushing back beneath him.

She lowered her head, her chin resting on crossed forelegs. "Okay. Put it in. Mind which hole."

Shining's eyes widened. Mind which hole? Buttfuck a princess? Sweet sun and moon, not even by accident!

Arching his back and clamping his forelegs around her shoulders, he scooted his rear legs forward and he felt soft wetness press against his tip. It was different from her saliva, somehow. Slicker. Much better. He paused for a moment, just... enjoying it.

"Hmmmmm," Cadance breathed. "Nice." A shudder started at her wetness, trembling against his tip, and then shot up her spine and ended with her ears quivering. He nibbled her left ear and she made a little yelp.

"You're so wet," he said, then realized how obvious a statement that was. He bit back down on her ear to prevent himself from saying anything else stupid.

"You feel good!" Cadance said. "Now get inside me."

Shining pushed his hips forward a little, and the head of his cock pressed against the opening of her pussy, stretching it and sliding in, her warmth surrounding him, and it was so slick, she soaked his cock instantly. Shining closed his eyes and bit down a little harder on her ear, just reveling in the sensation. Nothing, nothing in his life had prepared him for this! The sensation in the head of his cock filled his entire body, his nerves ringing like tuning forks, in perfect harmony, as the sensations flooded him.

Her wonderful body just pumped hot wetness. Scooting in a little more, her fires boiled his cock, and her fluids rolled down his shaft. Large drops of pussy juice dripped off his cock, hitting the bed with audible splats.

And he wasn't even a quarter in yet!

"This, Cadance, this is amazing! I've never felt anything—"

Her horn lit and her magic smacked him across the ass, shoving his lower body forward. He slammed in, hilting into her, his balls smacking her huge clit and his tip crashing into the end of her channel.

He shouted, half in surprise and half in pain. Her magic had smacked his ballsack, too, and his cock was just a little longer than her channel. He had crashed hard into the bottom of her womb.

Then he held still, reveling in the wonders that were this young alicorn's body. Maybe she'd had many lovers before, but her pussy was still as tight as he could imagine, and her wetness soaked his ballsack as she pumped around him, massaging him, her muscles squeezing her juices out of herself, around his shaft to drip off his balls. The coat on his ballsack was wonderfully wet, sopping and hot with her emissions.

"Yes!" Cadance said. "Sorry about that smack, but I wanted you in so I could do my spell before you shot your load."

"I wasn't going to—"

She laughed. "I've taken hundreds of virginities, Shining. I average one a week. You were going to cum before you were three-quarters in."

"I, well... maybe. You feel really good."

"By the stars! You too. You're absolutely huge. That kinda hurt, to be honest, slamming you in that way. You bonked my mare-bits hard."

"Sorry."

"I don't stretch out." He looked at her, and her face flushed, reddening. "It's an alicorn thing. I popped my cherry before I got all... alicorned... so my hymen stays broken, thank goodness, but I could cram a watermelon up there and it'll be back to shape in ten minutes."

"I didn't ask. I, um, smashed into your...?"

"Cervix. It's okay. I'm glad you're that big!"

"Spell?"

Her horn glowed again, and a ball of her light-blue magic formed around her horn, and then the magic pulled down into her body.

"Is that safe? Unicorns shouldn't self-cast medical spells."

"Shh!" Cadance said. "Either I self-cast, or it goes up your butt. Which do you want?"

"Nothing goes in my butt!"

"Okay, then. Keep it planted and don't move."

Nothing happened for a minute. Shining closed his eyes and just enjoyed feeling her clamped around his shaft. Their heartbeats had gone into synch. His cock throbbed in time with her pussy's clenching, her warmth suffusing him, her wetness soaking his cock and balls, even working its way up to leave his ass wet, and forward, soaking his belly where it pressed against the base of her tail.

He wondered if she was getting dehydrated. Certainly the bedsheets were going to need to be washed!

A sharp pain like the snap of a mousetrap clamped down on his tip and then was instantly gone. "Ow! Cady, what the heck was that?"

She turned her head and kissed him. "Princess Platinum's Pussy of Power, lover. You'll be able to pound for ten, twenty, thirty minutes, and I'm going to be so hypersensitive that your slightest motion—"

He pulled out about halfway, then rammed back in.

Cadance screamed, her pussy clenching down on him even harder than before, squeezing desperately. Her body spasmed again, her wings pushing against his chest, and she stretched her neck forward, forehooves pounding on the bed.

She squirted, spraying hot juices across his balls, the smell of her cum thick in the air.

"Did you just pee on me?"

"Sweet Tartarus," she said, "you are huge! Do that again, pull out, almost all the way, slowly."

"I asked if—"

"No, the spell just makes me very gushy."

"It's not pee?"

"No, it's marejaculate, Auntie ‘Tia assures me."

"You marejaculated on the wall and the carpet."

"Don't worry, I also know 'Princess Platinum's Parents-are-home Paroxysm of Panic' to clean up after. Although it doesn't clear the air, so we'll need to light a candle."

"Won't my parents figure out what the candle is for?"

“They’ll think we were smoking Griffonstone Green.”

“What if they figure out we were fucking?”

“We're eighteen, and they like me, anyway. Why are you talking instead of fucking?"

Shifting his weight, he pulled back. She panted, her ears pointing to funny angles as his massive length retreated, her pussy clenching at his girth, trying to hold him in, massaging hard, her insides slick and smooth.

He hovered, balanced on his four hooves, his throbbing tip just barely kissing her labia.

"Pleeeeeease...." she whispered.

He shot his hips forward, ramming his balls into her clit and the head of his cock into the base of her womb. She squirted again and moaned happily.

The sensations! Shining had jerked off who-knew-how-many times over the years, but this was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. Jerking off was just about squeezing a load out, but this? This was about getting to the finish, not just the finish itself.

Out and in, out and in, he stroked at a moderate pace with his huge length, the sensation of her pussy so wonderful on his tip as Cadance's body spasmed, squirted, and shook with his every little motion.

"You're so... oh, this is great," Cadance breathed. "I've never been so full! Keep going. I honestly think you've got the biggest cock I've ever had."

Shining bit her ear again, tugging slightly and speeding up his pounding. He didn't know how long he kept pounding, all he knew is he never wanted it to stop!

He kept pumping.

Every second or third stroke, Cadance gasped, shuddered, and squirted underneath him. His own balls and underside were soaking, now, and the bed made squishing noises with his every thrust. Hopefully her cleanup spell really would work!

He kept pounding.

He didn't seem to be getting any closer. It felt great, her warm wet twat splitting open for his every thrust, and he'd never been in a filly (a mare, she was eighteen, just like him) before, so maybe this was normal, but it wasn't like jerking off. He was just, well, pumping. He didn't feel himself getting any closer.

He kept pumping.

He pulled mostly out, hesitated, throbbing against her slit, and then slowly sank himself into his full depth.

"Yes!" she shouted, and her horn sparked, knocking an empty plate off the bedside stand. It clattered against the floor, a few crumbs scattering.

He kept pounding.

As he pounded, he asked, "Hey, uh, Cadance?"

"Hrnk?" she gasped as another squirt sprayed hot juices across his balls.

"Is it—am I supposed to take this long?"

"...no. I think I over—aaaaahhh!—I overdid the spell."

He kept pumping. "Oh."

"I... have an idea."

He paused. She levitated the book up on the bed, from where it sat on the bedside stand. "I'm feeling... I'm feeling funny, to tell you the truth. I think all the squirting... I wish I had a water bottle..."

He kept pounding, but with a slight frown, now.

She used a forehoof to flip the Canterlot Fashion Scene, Summer 989 book open.

He stopped pounding and his ears perked straight up. She flipped more pages.

"That book is porn," Shining said.

"Yes."

"Why is that book porn?"

"I love porn," she said. "I've tried almost every position in the book over the last six years."

"You said that this week was your eighteenth birthd—"

"Ah!" she said. "This one. This is one of the last ones to try before I can retire this book and get a book of ultraporn."

Shining looked away from the picture. "Why is the book titled Canterlot Fashion Scene, Summer 989?"

"It's a book."

"Yeah?"

"Your sister."

"Ohhhhhhh... the only way to make her not steal the book and read it is if its title is fashion?"

"Yep! Okay, look at the picture."

Shining hilted himself once again, cock bonking her cervix, and she gave another squirt, although it seemed somewhat lackluster compared to the earlier ones. He focused on the book.

The page showed a photograph, not a drawing, of a pegasus mare lying belly-down on a bed, her wings tucked tight and legs stretched out, spread-eagle. An earth stallion laid on top of her, his cock...

...ramming almost straight down, into her asshole.

"They're buttfucking," Shining said flatly.

"Yes..." Cadance said. "I think I gave you a little too much endurance. My butt stays really, really tight, so it should help you cum sooner. Are you game?"

"Earlier you said, 'mind which hole.'"

She twisted her head, making eye contact. She smiled, and blinked several times. Her eyes seemed just slightly red and puffy. "I changed my mind. Also, my pussy is getting a little sore, to tell you the truth."

He smiled back, shifted his rear legs, and pulled out. His cock made a slurp as it broke contact.

Looking under his barrel, he saw he was glazed with her juices, slicked and dripping. His cock throbbed and his balls clung tight to his underside, the coat from his sternum to his tail soaking wet with her fluids.

"I like sex," he said.

"Me too! Something else we have in common." She settled herself onto the bed, wings tucked and legs spread wide like the mare in the photograph, and shifted her tail farther to the side.

He looked at her. Her asshole was much, much smaller than her pussy, and his huge cock had split her tight pussy wide. The puckered pink hole winked and throbbed at him in time with her rapid heartbeat, inviting him in, but it was going to be tight.

Shifting his hips, his tip touched the forbidden entrance. It pulsed with her heartbeat, pushing against him, and his eyes crossed. She was strong! That butthole muscle wasn't very big, but its every throb rammed up his cock and into his body.

"A little more pressure," she said.

He pushed down, still watching his tip. The pucker expanded, making room for him, and she grunted in the back of her throat as it stretched ever so slightly and grabbed his cock, pulling it in a fraction of an inch. With her next heartbeat, it pulled him in a little more, then a little more.

Every little tug of her asshole sent electric shocks up his cock, the sensation even hotter and tighter than her pussy had been. His tip was entirely in now, the ridge slipping in and disappearing, her ass slowly pulling in his shaft, and her muscles—wow! They massaged his tip, rubbing this way and that, the slick wetness of her pussy juices keeping him lubed up. He had feared dryness and chafing, but apparently, alicorn buttholes were immune to that.

She arched her head back and screamed, and her biggest marejaculation yet soaking his inner thighs and splattering the wall. Her ass yanked him in, the sharpest pull yet, consuming a full three inches of him. Her forelegs splayed on the bed, knocking the book onto the floor with a smack.

"You're pulling me in," he said. "It's like a.. a cock-chupacabra. In a good way."

"Chupacockbra?" Cadance gasped. "Oh! Assgasm. That's the best assgasm I ever had..."

Shining grinned and leaned down, biting her ear again, biting hard, and rammed his last several inches in, hilting. She arched her back and her asshole clenched on him, tight, pinching on the base of his shaft while her pussylips throbbed against his balls and her deep insides massaged his tip ever harder.

Yes, he decided, yes, this was going to make him cum before very long at all. He pulled back, almost out. Her asshole squeezed hard on his ridge.

"Hard," Cadance said. "Slam it in."

Tensing his butt muscles for the thrust—

"I heard a book fall!" Twilight's tiny voice shouted, as she pounded a hoof on the bedroom door. "Cady, let me in and see if the book is all right!"

Shining gasped and pulled out, his legs thrusting up. His cock popped out of Cadance's ass with a schlick-pop! Cadance shouted. Shining whimpered.

A flash of purple spell-light slagged the lock, blasting glowing bits of metal across the room as the door slammed open, the hole where the knob and latch had been smoking. A filly was standing in the doorway, rubbing sleepy eyes as steam rose from her horn.

A flash of blue spell light blasted, not from Cadance's horn, but from her asshole—the smell of ozone momentarily overwhelming the smell of pussy juice and pounded bum—as Cadance's magic grabbed his cock and yanked him back in, instantly balls-deep, the rest of his body following suit, and his well-muscled weight slammed down onto Cadance's back and they both lost all their air with oofs.

Cadance's asshole clamped painfully around Shining's cock, refusing to let him withdraw. His struggling set her off into another spasm of pleasure, her wings flexing against his chest and a fresh trickle of hot pussyjuice against his ballsack.

Twilight trotted across the room, levitated the book up from the floor to the bedside stand, and looked at them. "You should treat books with more respect." She paused. "Big brother, why is your peepee up Cady's pooper?"

"My peepee isn't in her pooper," Shining said.

Twilight walked around behind them and levitated his tail up. "Yes. Yes it is. And what's that stinky smell?"

"Get out get out get out," Cadance gasped.

"Me, or her?" Shining asked.

"Yes!" Cadance shouted.

"The carpet is wet," Twilight said, lifting up one hoof to look at its underside. "Did one of you pee on the floor and the wall?"

"Not exactly," Cadance said. "Shining, I said out."

He pushed against the bed with all four hooves, and lifted the weight of her hindquarters up with his cock. He cursed in pain and dropped down to the bed. "Let go and I'll pull out."

Cadance's ears drooped. "Uh-oh."

"No. No. No 'uh-oh,' Cadance. What's 'uh-oh?'"

"You said 'cock-chupacabra'..." Cadance whispered.

"I wanna glass of water, please," Twilight said. "I can't go back to sleep without a glass of water."

"You can't pull out?" Cadance gasped. Her body went stiff.

"Ow! Relax. You're holding onto me."

"Uh-oh," Cadance repeated.

"I said I need water, please." Twilight tapped a hoof impatiently. It squished on the wet carpet.

"Twily," Shining said, looking over his shoulder, "you know how to get yourself water."

"But my horn's all sleepy."

"You just slagged a metal doorlock!" Shining objected. "You blew an alicorn spell open."

"That's why my horn is all sleepy. I needa grownup t’get me the glass of water."

Cadance flicked her ears. "I've never had somepony get stuck in my asshole before."

"Pooper," Twilight corrected.

"How many...?" Shining asked, then realized, too late, that he really didn't want to know.

"Like... five..." Cadance said, cocking her head in thought.

"That's not so bad—"

"...hundred and twenty?"

"...oh."

"Five hundred thirty-five, tops."

"That's a wide range of estimates," Twilight said.

"There was this time, at a party, and there was a case of Ponyville hard cider, a tub of lube, and the complete works of A.K. Yearling... are you sure you can't get your own drink?"

Shining struggled and pushed again, but he couldn't extract himself: as soon as his flared glans reached her exit, she clamped tight, trapping him. He could thrust freely in and out, but not escape. "Why are you holding onto my cock?"

"Your peepee."

"Look, I'm—I didn't ask for this crazy alicorn body, okay? Not a week goes by that it doesn't do some weird or embarrassing thing that normal fillies don't have to worry about. I had a stomach bug three months ago and Auntie Tia had to call in a hazardous materials team to clean my bedroom! And don't even ask what they did to my bathroom!"

Twilight asked, "What did they do to your bathroom?"

Cadance went pale. "They filled it with concrete, and told me to use the one down the hallway from then on."

"I need a drink," Twilight repeated. "Pretty-please."

"I'm feeling a bit ill, too," Cadance said. "Let's go to the kitchen."

"I'm stuck in your asshole!"

"Pooper."

Cadance stood, shakily, balancing on the bed, under Shining's weight. He squeezed his forelegs around her chest, in front of her wings, for balance.

"That's the weirdest piggyback ride I've ever seen," Twilight said, and trotted down the hallway. Her hoofbeats sounded on the stairs, going down.

"If you drop me, it'll rip my cock off."

Cadance's horn lit, the aura weak and spluttering, and grabbed his upper body, keeping him balanced. "I feel actively sick," she said, then slid carefully off the bed and followed Twilight to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Shining poured glasses of water for Cadance and Twilight. Twilight drained hers, but just before Cadance drank, Twilight asked, "Why is your peepee up her pooper?"

Cadance sank to the kitchen's tile floor, and as soon as Shining's legs could take his own weight, Cadance's aura spluttered out, and she rubbed her forehead with her hooves.

"It's fun," Cadance said.

"Fun?" Twilight began, "Next, can you—"

"No!" Shining and Cadance shouted.

"You don't look like you're having fun," Twilight said. "You look sick."

"I feel sick," Cadance said.

Twilight placed her glass in the sink. "When will Mommy and Daddy and Spike be home from the vet?"

Shining's head went light as dizzyness swirled. "Oh, hey, Twilight, can you do me a favor?"

"Don't don't don't don't don't—" Cadance said.

"Can you not tell Mom and Dad about..." Shining gestured to his and Cadance's bodies.

Twilight frowned. "Mommy and Daddy would be mad at you?"

Cadance rubbed her aching head even harder. "Now you've done it."

"I don't lie to Mom and Dad," Twilight said. "I have to tell them, now."

"Don't be a tattle-tale," Shining said.

"It's not tattling, it's being good."

Cadance lowered her hooves and looked at Twilight. "Shining will give you his dessert from dinner for the next week if you don't tell."

"Hey, now."

Twilight frowned and her little tail twitched in consternation. "I dunno..."

"Six weeks," Cadance offered.

"Hey, now!" Shining shouted.

"Deal," Twilight said. "I'm going back to bed—"

The front door slammed open. "We're home!" Mom shouted.

Cadance gasped, her whole body spasming, and Shining shouted in pain as her asshole nearly guillotined off his cock.

"I didn't tell," Twilight said. "You still owe."

"Twilight," Cadance said, "please go back to bed."

"I want to check on Spike." She raised her nose and pranced into the living room.

"Pull out pull out pull out," Shining chanted, pressing upward desperately with his rear legs, but her anus clenched down on his tip, and all he accomplished was to lift her bottom six inches off the floor, her hindquarters hanging from his throbbing, rock-hard shaft. "Pull out pull out pull out—"

"So," Mom said as she entered the kitchen. "I see you two have met."

Shining sighed and his legs went limp. His hips collapsed downward, squashing Cadance's belly back to the tile floor and ramming his cock—still more erect than ever before in his life—fully into her ass again. She screamed, spasmed, flapped her wings, and squirted a massive puddle of marecum across the tile.

Looking over his shoulder, Shining saw Mom, Dad, Spike, and Twilight standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

"I told you those two kids would hit it off famously, Velvet," Dad said.

Mom nodded. "In the butt no less. It's just like our first date."

"They call me 'Night Light' for a reason."

Shining fought the urge to puke, clamping his jaw tight.

"Oh!" Dad said. "I'll get my camera, this can go on the Hearth's Warming card."

"No!" Shining and Cadance shouted.

Dad shrugged. "Funtime is over, though. I don't know what possessed you two to use the kitchen, but go upstairs and finish in private. Then take a shower."

Cadance looked over her shoulder at them. Her face was even more pale, and her ears drooped listlessly. "He's stuck."

"I'm stuck," Shining agreed.

"She had to give him a piggyback ride downstairs from Cady's bedroom when I asked for a glass of water," Twilight confirmed, then raised her nose proudly: "Their door was locked and I used the opening spell Miss Celestia taught me in school, and now the lock is all melty."

Cadance lowered her chin to the tile floor and her body sagged. "I feel really sick. My head is light and my heart—my heart is racing."

Mom trotted to her and Dad's bedroom and returned carrying a glass jar. "Here, son, pull out as far as you can."

"Mom, what the hay?"

She kneeled down in Cadance's puddle and sniffed. "Coconut butter," she said, unscrewing the jar's lid. "I'll smear it on your shaft, and then maybe after two or three thrusts to get it spread around the inside of her... sphincter... you'll pop out."

"No! No, no, no!" Shining shouted. "Mom, you aren't smearing anything under my tail."

"Then smear it yourself, please, Shiny? I'm feeling really... really..." Cadance trailed off.

"I love coconut," Twilight said.

"Twilight?" Dad said, now cradling Spike in his foreleg, "Bed."

"But I wanna see how you get his peep—"

"Bed, now."

Twilight harrumphed, spun, and left the room.

Shining watched her go, then lifted his hips again. His cock slid smoothly out, still well-lubricated by Cadance's pussy juices, until the tip reached her hole, then her body clamped down on him. He looked carefully, pulled out another inch, watching her tight pink hole flexing outward as it clamped tighter.

Mom scooped a gob of the thick white paste from the jar and held it on a hoof. Shining levitated it up and smeared it all around his shaft, from flare to base, and spread it evenly.

"You've got some left," Dad said. "Smear it around the ring of her hole."

Shining felt his face turning red and the urge to puke came back. He glanced over and saw that Dad had a massive hardon, too. Then, he smeared the coconut butter around the ring of Cadance's asshole.

"Feels... good..." Cadance mumbled, her eyes closed.

Mom stood and leaned against Dad, shoulder to shoulder. "We'll have to break out some coconut butter ourselves, once all the kids are in bed."

"Mmmmp," Dad said with a smile.

"Ready?" Shining said.

Limp, eyes shut, Cadance just grunted.

Shining thrusted in and out, slowly, five times. The slickness of the coconut butter felt actually really good, and she seemed even tighter than before, the friction of her insides maddening on the sensitive ridge around his glans. His balls, still dripping with her juices, tightened up against his belly again. She gave a small spasm and squeak, and a lackluster dribble of juices squirted from her pussy with her weakest orgasm yet.

After the fifth stroke, with the thick greasy lube now smeared deep up her butthole and slicking his tip, he tried to pull out.

Her ass clamped hard on his tip and sucked him back in. Cadance sighed.

"I—I don't know what to do!" Shining said.

"Maybe if you drank some avocado oil," Mom said. "When my Mom gave me the birds-and-the-bees talk, she said, 'If a stallion gets stuck amidst his deed, avocado oil is what you need.'"

"Mom," Shining said, "no, I'm not drinking avocado oil."

Twilight pranced back into the room, walked around the puddle of Cadance's various squirty orgasms, and laid down in front of Cadance, nose to nose.

"Twilight," Mom said, "I thought we asked you to go back to bed."

Twilight levitated one of Cadance's eyelids open. Cadance didn't move. "Call an ambulance," Twilight said. "Cady is dehydrated. She needs IV fluids."

"How in Equestria—" Dad started, then stopped himself. "Books?"

"Books," Twilight said with a nod. She placed her hoof against Cadance's neck. "Her pulse is thready. I'm not joking. Ambulance."

Mom touched the side of Cadance's throat, then nodded to Dad. Dad put Spike on the floor and sprinted into the living room, where the family's emergency spells were stored. The sound of a piece of glass breaking, followed by the snap-whoosh of a scroll departing, filled the house.

Spike toddled over, falling twice, then crawling. Mom took a step toward him to scoop him up, but she slipped in the puddle of Cadance's marecum and went down. The sound of Mom splashing into the shallow puddle startled Spike, who belched fire...

...across Shining's exposed ballsack.

Shining screamed and jerked forward, burying himself even deeper into Cadance's ass to at least shelter his cock from the flames. The coconut oil smeared on his balls caught on fragrant fire, the smell of toasted coconut warring with the smell of burning fur, buttsex, and marejaculate, like some sort of tropical-island whorehouse luau. Mom scooped up Spike, skittered on the slick tile, her steel shoes scrabbling for traction, and then ran out of the room with him as he burped a second burst of flame, harmlessly toward the fireproof paint that now covered all of the house's walls.

"Fire fire fire Night Light fire!" Mom shouted.

Shining, his balls cooking, began, "Son of a fucking cunt bastard mother—"

Twilight's horn glowed, and a snap of magic hit him in the face, then wormed down his throat.

"—trucking golly-gee cotton-candied son of a female canine unmarried offspring!"

"I don't like naughty words," Twilight declared.

Dad stormed into the kitchen, levitating one of the many fire extinguishers that had become fixtures in the house after Spike's adoption. "Where? Where? Where? Where?"

Twilight danced from hoof to hoof, pointing with her horn. "Big brother's peepee parts!"

Dad skidded to a stop, aimed the extinguisher's projector, and doused the panicking Shining's and unconscious Cadance's backsides with a long blast of white dry-powder extinguisher charge. Twilight covered her ears and clenched her eyes shut. Shining just stared in horror and wished for death as the cloud of white fog filled the room and then settled to the floor.

Dad squeezed the extinguisher twice more, but it was spent.

"So! A head start on the white spew, eh, son?"

"Ow!" Shining said, flopping down onto Cadance and sobbing. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow..."

Dad tossed the extinguisher aside. "Twilight, wet some towels under the faucet and bring them to me."

After Twilight brought Dad towels, he wiped dry powder from the teenagers' backsides. He wiped clumsily, because Dad's eyes were clenched shut, one foreleg covering them.

"I can't flipping gosh-darn believe this," Shining said. "This is beyond humiliating."

"Eh, when I was your age, two of my friends, twins named Flim and Flam, sold Celestia blow-up dolls. I got stuck..." Dad glanced at Twilight, whose ears were perked forward in interest. "Never mind. Anyway, turns out selling unlicensed likenesses of Celestia is a thousand-bit fine per item so those two got their comeuppance."

Mom rushed back in. "I put Spike to bed, with his asbestos blankets. Night Light, dear, you'll give the poor filly an infection. You wipe front to back. Move and let me clean her."

Shining covered his eyes with his hooves and fought not to sob as Mom worked underneath his tail. After a minute, Mom said to Dad, "Take a close look at Cadance's labia."

Dad was silent for a moment. He backed up several steps. Then: "No."

"Night Light, this is important."

"We've known her since she was little. I don't want a close look at her labia."

"This is medical, Night Light."

"You realize what you're asking, Velvet?"

"I'll make it worth your while," Mom purred. "I'll wear the wings."

"Stop," Shining muttered. "Please stop talking."

"In your butt?" Dad asked.

"Fine, in my butt. There's plenty of coconut butter. Look."

"Stop," Shining said.

"Will you wear the pink wings?" Dad asked.

"Yes," Mom said, voice exasperated. "Look."

"Can I call you Cadance?" Dad continued.

"Please stop talking," Shining repeated.

"...yes," Mom said after a few seconds, "only if you wear the blue wings, and I can call you 'Wind Rider.'"

"Deal. What am I looking at?" Dad asked, kneeling close to Cadance's backside.

Mom: "We're looking for burns or injuries. I don't see any burns or injuries. Do you see any burns or injuries? She doesn't seem burned. Either Spike missed her, or she healed that fast. Her labia are smooth and unharmed."

"She's very pink down there," Dad said. "Apparently uninjured. And pink. And smooth. And pink. Yes. I'm sorry, what were we looking for? I've lost my train of thought. Pink."

"Okay, Night Light, you can stop looking at Cady now," Mom said with a chuckle. Then she started wiping off Shining.

"Ow! Mom, that's really tender."

"Pink," Dad said.

"Okay, Twilight?" Mom asked.

Twilight pranced around behind Shining. "Oh, blisters. Does that hurt, Big Brother?"

"My fudging scrotum caught on flipping fire you little gosh-darn—"

"Bring me the burn cream from the bathroom medicine cabinet, Twilight," Mom said. "Then go wait at the front door for the ambulance."

"Have Twilight bring cyanide, instead," Shining said. "Mom, that really hurts. Ice?"

"I'm not icing your testicles, Honey."

"Well, you're going to burn-cream them, Mom!"

"And you thought you were doing the creaming tonight, amirite?" Dad said.

"Dad, stop."

"Not because they're yours," Mom continued, "but because icing after the first five seconds is counter-productive."

"Water..." Cadance mumbled. Her tail thrashed and brushed Shining's blisters. He jerked and shouted, his cock giving her a deep stroke, and Cadance gasped and splashed mom in the face with another squirt of marecum.

Mom wiped her eyes and looked at Dad. "We need to see if we can get that spell from her, after she's feeling better."

Dad nodded enthusiastically, his cock bobbing in time with his head. Cadance passed out again.

Twilight galloped back in, giving a large tube of medicine to Mom, and then sprinted off toward the front of the house to await the ambulance.

"Shining?" Mom said.

He sighed loudly.

"I'm going to smear burn cream on your butternut basket."

"This is humiliating."

"I changed your diapers."

"But I don't remember that!"

"You had really ammoniacal pee. It burned your testicle trailer back then, too."

"So," Dad asked, "Shining is getting back to basic?"

"Okay," Mom warned. "On three. One—" and her magic squashed a huge gob of the thick burn salve onto his blistered ballsack.

"Gaaaahhhh!!!!!" He thrashed and flailed, his cock throbbing as Cadance's ass rubbed tightly around his tip. His balls clenched in sympathy to the stimulation and the blisters' pain redoubled, but then the numbing coolness of the magic spread through his underside, across his ballsack, into his tail and the base of his cock. "Darn it son of a buttered biscuit, mom, you said on 'three!'"

"I lied."

"Hey," Dad said. "Can I take a picture now?"

"What, why?" Mom asked.

"Chestnuts roasting over an open dragonfire. This has to be our Hearth's Warming card—"

A hoof pounded on the front door. Shining took his hooves off his eyes and looked over his shoulder as Twilight led in two pegasus stallions in Canterlot Fire Department uniforms and a white earth mare in a CFD paramedic's uniform.

"Okay, whatta we got here?" the mare said, then looked at the situation. "Oh."

Shining's head went light again as he recognized the paramedic. "R-R-R-Redheart?"

She blinked. "Shining! Good to see you. And you've met Cady, I see. I'd ask how you've been, but..." she waved encompassingly at the kitchen.

"Oh!" Mom said and clapped her hooves. "You two know each other?"

"Yeah," Paramedic Redheart said. "I was a captain of the track team senior year, when Shining was a first-year. It would help if you extracted your phallus from her rectum."

"I can't," Shining said.

"He can't," Mom, Twilight, and Dad said simultaneously.

"Eh? Show me."

Shining lifted himself up. His enormous cock slid out of Cadance's ass, then right before his tip could pop out, her anus clamped down tightly on it with a glow of light-blue magical aura. He lifted up another inch, hoisting Cadance's hindquarters off the tile floor.

Redheart hmmmed. "Heck, Shining, you've grown up since you were a little first-year."

"I'm sorry?" Mom said.

"The track team only had one locker room, so we all showered coed. Shining always... responded?... to my genitals in the showers. His response has gotten noticeably more emphatic in the last three years."

"Oh!" Twilight said. "Did he put his peepee up your pooper, too?"

"Twilight, bed!" Mom and Dad shouted.

Twilight humphed and walked out of the room, nose held high.

"For the record, no. I was captain of the team, so it wasn't allowed. Besides, I was practically the only earth pony in Canterlot High. All those unicorn colts like a properly-muscled filly. I got more dates than I could handle in my own grade, I didn't need to fish for first-years."

"Well, Band-aid Butt," Shining said, "now that we've discussed my peepee, can we please discuss Cadance's medical emergency?"

"Princesses, humph." Redheart facehoofed. "I'm starting nursing school in the autumn. I'm looking forward to getting out of Canterlot. My cousin Davenport lives in this little hick town called Ponyville—no princesses, no insanity. I'm going to move there after I graduate. He said I can sleep in his sofa store while I get settled."

Redheart leaned down and went nose to nose with Cadance, then cocked her head, listening to Cadance's breathing. She lifted Cadance's left eyelid, then right, then her ears. "She's in bad shape. What happened to her? And what's that smell? And why do I think the answers to those two questions are related?"

"Spell gone wrong," Shining said. "Cady... uh..."

"Orgasm enhancement spell?" Redheart said.

Shining nodded, his face burning hot again.

"Happens all the time, I mean, this is Canterlot, unicorn capital of the world. Although this is the first time I've encountered it cast with alicorn power." She looked at the two firefighter pegasi. "Buffer Zone? Fire Line? Bring me the IV pole and all six bags of saline from the chariot."

"Yes, ma'am." They hustled out.

Redheart dug into her pack, used her teeth to tie a rubber hose around Cadance's left foreleg, and fiddled with Cadance's vein. The fireponies returned with the gear and Redheart put a bag of saline on Cadance's IV.

"That should get her conscious again soon," Redheart said, and walked behind Shining. She nosed under his tail and booped his ballsack with her snout, moving his testicles left and right inside the bag of skin. She touched her tongue to one of the blisters, making Shining jump.

"Redheart! For the love of Celestia, you can't just lick my bits!"

"Yeah, at least buy him a drink first," Dad said.

"I'm a professional, and you're acting like a baby."

"Babies don't get up alicorn's chimneys," Dad observed.

Redheart wiped burn cream and blood off her snout. "What happened to your scrotum?"

"Dragon belch," Mom said while levitating up a clean towel and wiped some more unspeakable material off Redheart's face.

"...oooooookay. Well, it's already salved so there's nothing else for me to do. How are we going to get your phallus out of her rectum?" Redheart tapped a hoof, thinking. "Fire Line, send a spell to the station, call in the whole squad. We need Jaws of Life."

"Jaws quit and moved to Manehattan, remember?"

"Oh, damn. Well, what about the new guy?"

"I forgot his name," Buffer Zone said.

"Well, get the whole squad here. This is a nasty spell and I need backup."

Shining covered his face again.

Cadance stirred underneath him, her ass clenching on his shaft and rubbing his tip wonderfully. How did he still have an erection? There were five ponies watching him, and he'd just had his balls burned! He should have been as limp as overcooked spaghetti but he seemed to be getting harder inside Cadance's ass.

Cady cracked an eye open and bleared around the kitchen. Redheart squeezed the bag, forcing the saline in, then switched to a new bag.

Redheart looked at Mom and Dad. "I'm hoping we can avoid amputation, mainly because going into an alicorn's alimentary canal to remove the foreign object never ends well for the surgeon. The alicorn's immune system generally teleports the surgeon before he can finish."

Shining jerked to his hooves, yanking Cadance's backside up. She shouted in surprise and flapped her wings once.

"Amputation!" Shining said. "No oh sweet Celestia no no no!"

Redheart shrugged. "They have really good potions nowadays, it wouldn't take more than six months to regrow good-as-new. I mean, they regrow smaller, but you're off the top of the chart, anyway, so you'll still be plenty... hey, Shining, if this" —she gestured at Cadance— "doesn't work out, you call me."

Dad grinned. "The ol' Sparkle Wand strikes again."

"I dunno, presumably he has a personality or something, too," Redheart said. She leaned over and looked under Dad's barrel. "Yeah, it is genetic, huh? Shining, you got any cousins?"

"Redheart," Mom said, "you have no idea. It's a medical miracle we only had two foals. The other thing that seems to run in the family is the size of their loads."

"Mom, I can't know this!" Shining whined.

"Honey," Mom said. "I've paid the plumber to unclog your shower. Your loads are even bigger."

"Reeeaaalllly?" Redheart said, her tail thrashing. "Well, relax, the rescue squad is on the way. We'll see what solution they come up with. Cady, good to see you."

Cadance looked up at Redheart, and her eyes crossed. "Oh! Yes, long time no see. I'm glad you were the paramedic, since you've already..."

"Already?" Mom asked.

"Redheart's already seen my fillybits," Cadance said. "In great detail."

"We might have, um, had a date back in school. She wasn't on the track team so it was allowed."

"You said you didn't fish for first-years," Shining objected. "And that you liked stallions."

"Well, c'mon. This is Cady. Who in the school didn't..." Redheart shrugged.

The two fireponies looked at each other, eyes wide.

"Hey, pull out of her as far as you can and lift your tail, Shield Butt, I wanna do a quick exam on her, now."

Shining covered his eyes again and did as Redheart commanded.

Cadance said, "The IV fluids are really making me feel—Ahhhh!" Cadance spasmed and squirted across Redheat's face. "Shining, try not to squirm. Every time you move, I cum. The fluids are helping, I think I was quite dehydrated. Thank you, Redheart."

Redheart licked Cadance's vulva. "Yeah, your hydration is coming back. Watch the intensity of the spell next time, Cady, you were in pretty dire straits. You might have died."

"But he's so cute," Cadance said. "I only turned the spell up a little extra."

"Cadance. Cady, please be careful. I hate writing death certificates."

"I understand. I just, I just wanted to really give him a memorable treat for his first time with a mare."

"First t—" Redheart said, looking at Shining. "Heck, I should have jumped you in the locker room back then!"

Mom snorted. "Well, I doubt Shining will be forgetting tonight."

"You all, I'm right flipping here. I can fiddly-ding-dang hear you."

"Just think, Shining," Dad said. "I can tell this story at you two's wedding reception."

"Oh! And at your foals' wedding receptions!" Mom gushed. "Assuming Shiny's pommel pouch isn't, uh, permanently..."

"It looks fine," Redheart said. "The skin is charred but the muscle underlayer is intact. I expect the thermo-magical shock has rendered him sterile for six months, though."

"I'm on The Spell," Cadance said primly.

"I can't imagine an alicorn foal," Redheart mused. "If you do get pregnant, warn me, and I'm moving to Griffonstone."

Shining buried his face into the back of Cadance's neck. That caused his hips to shift, driving him an inch deeper into her butt, and she came again.

"I really don't get paid enough for this," Redheart said, wiping her face.

A racket from the front room indicated the rescue squad had arrived.

Ten more fireponies poured into the kitchen. It was getting crowded, and they surrounded Cadance and Shining, lining the edge of the room. About half of them were stallions, and they quickly joined Dad and the first two fireponies in popping massive hardons.

Cadance looked at them, then looked away with a smirk.

One of the firemares made a little squeak in the back of her throat and tucked her tail, just as a dribble of liquid escaped her. She glanced at the firestallion next to her. "We should check the bedroom where this uh yeah," and she and the stallion disappeared up the stairs, his cock flapping loudly against his firefighter's suit.

"See?" Cadance said. "That's why I put the spell on you, Shiny. Some ponies cum just looking at me."

Shining covered his balls and Cadance's pussy with his own tail. It rubbed painfully against his blisters, but the numbing burn cream had at least taken the edge off the agony.

A minoutaur in a Canterlot Fire Department uniform ducked and twisted to get his horns through the narrow doorway. Ponies made room, squeezing even closer together.

"Iron Will has arrived, and it looks like the pink pony is revived. If a pony needs help, all they have to do is yelp!"

Redheart stared at him, one eyebrow raised.

"So, uh... what's the situation?" Iron Will asked.

"One male subject's phallus," Redheart said in a very official-sounding voice, "magically involved with the female subject's rectal cavity."

"This is Iron Will's first day on the job. He doesn't speak paramedic yet. Can you translate?"

"I really can't," Redheart said. "That was as clear as it gets."

"His cock is stuck in her ass," supplied a firestallion.

"Oh!" Iron Will said. "Why didn’t the pony just say that?"

Redheart asked Iron Will, "You okay with this?"

"Minotaurs don't get blushy about pony pussy. But seriously, your species does nothing for us, no offense. Pull out as far as you can, little pony."

Shining lifted himself up until her asshole clenched on his tip. Iron Will grabbed around Shining's shaft with his right hand and placed the palm of his left hand on Cadance's vulva. He spread his fingers so that Shining's cock and Cady's butthole rested between the middle and ring fingers of his left hand.

Iron Will sniffed deeply and wrinkled his nose. "Iron Will is going to desire soap and warm water momentarily."

He grabbed tight around Shining's cock and lifted up, slowly and firmly, and Cadance shouted and blushed as the minotaur pushed firmly down and forward on her vulva.

Her ass clamped tighter on Shining's cock, and he felt pressure stretching his shaft as the minotaur's muscles fought against the alicorn's sphincter. Cadance sobbed as the pressure increased and Shining's ears clamped tight to his head.

With a crackle of magic, Shining's tip popped out of Cadance. The firefighters, Redheart, Mom, and Dad all cheered, stomping their applause.

Holding Shining upside down by his cock, Iron Will stood to his full height. "When ponies need to be fully separated and they don't want to be accidentally castrated, call Iron Will!"

He set Shining Armor down on his back, next to Cadance.

"Poor thing," Cadance said, staring at Shining's cock and stroking his belly with a wing. "You never did get off."

The smell of ozone suddenly filled the kitchen, overwhelming the smell of sweating minotaur, pounded ass, roasted coconut, and marejaculate. A crackling of electrical sparks sounded, Cadance shouted in surprise, and a rainbow laser of power blasted out from between her labia, striking Iron Will and blasting him though the kitchen wall, across the living room, through the front wall, and out into the dark street. The thunder of the spell rattled the windows and left everypony blinking dazzled eyes.

A second magical blast, this time Cadance's usual light-blue instead of rainbow, then lanced out of her asshole, grabbed Shining's still-throbbing-erect penis, and yanked it back balls-deep into her ass.

"Not again!" Cadance shouted. Shining struggled to stand and extract himself, and his motion inside her caused her to spew another massive gusher of pussy juice.

Two firefighters looked at each other and shrugged. "Eh, these suits are waterproof," one said.

Redheart looked at the supervisory firemare. "Ma'am? What now?"

"I guess we haul them to the hospital and let it be their problem."

"Belay that!" came a commanding voice from the living room. A tall unicorn mare in a Guard general's uniform stormed into the kitchen and saluted with a swagger stick. "I have arrived, and there is no longer any cause for concern. Now! What's all this, then?"

Shining's eyes widened and had he not been buried in Cadance with a massive erection, he very well might have peed in fear. "General Discharge!"

"At attention, cadet!"

"Don't you dare—" Cadance said.

Shining shot up to attention, standing tall, and yanked Cadance's hindquarters up again, the weight of her torso again hanging from his cock.

"Oh, you two know each other?" Mom asked.

"Mother, Father, this is Major General Honorable Discharge, Commandant of the Academy."

"Major Discharge?" Dad said. "Lots of that tonight."

"I was walking down the street when a minotaur blasted through the wall and nearly landed on me. I thought assistance might be needed so I came in through the hole in the front wall. The minotaurs says he resigns, by the way." The general pointed the swagger stick at the chief firemare, then at Shining. "At ease, Cadet."

Shining collapsed back down. Once again, as his cock slid into Cadance, she came.

Redheart nosed under Shining's front leg and put an ear to Cadance's flank. "Her pulse is getting thready again. I'll put a second line in and get the princess her fluids more quickly."

"Princess, you say now?" The general looked underneath Shining. "When I said being a Guard officer was a chance to serve the princesses, this isn't what I meant, lad."

Shining covered his eyes with his forehooves again as Redheart put another IV into Cadance's other foreleg.

"I also don't approve of buggery," the general said, levitating her swagger stick and poking Shining's blistered balls.

He yelped and thrashed, setting off another orgasm from Cadance.

"Buggery is a changeling thing, not something ponies should do. And Princess! I would have expected better, Highness."

Cadance turned and glared at the general. "It's what my cutie mark is telling me."

"Your cutie mark is a heart."

"It's open to interpretation."

The general flicked her ears and thrashed her tail. "Fun's over, lad. Out of the princess, Cadet."

"I can't, ma'am."

"That's quitter, civilian talk. The Royal Guard doesn't say 'can't'."

Redheart raised a hoof. "He can't, speaking as a medical professional. It's a spell gone awry."

The general narrowed her eyes and levitated up her swagger stick. "This was passed down, commandant to commandant, from Commander Hurricane herself. We always knew it would save a princess someday."

The general pointed the swagger stick at a firestallion. "Be a good chap and bring me a sledgehammer from the firewagon."

"What?" Shining shouted.

The general brandished the swagger stick, then dipped its end in the still-open jar of coconut butter. "A decisive strike to the prostate will suppress the erectile response for twelve..."

"Twelve hours?" Dad asked.

"...months, minimum" muttered the general. "That should get him through his first year without any further episodes."

Dad's and the firestallions' erections all drooped visibly.

The firestallion trotted in and levitated the sledgehammer to the general.

"Jolly good, be a sport and don't move."

"No no no nonononono-" Shining gasped, pressing forward and slapping his tail low over himself. His squirming set Cadance off again, and this time her waterfall-like marejaculation soaked his tail.

The general poked the swagger stick down, lifting Shining's tail up.

"What?" Cadance said. "You enjoy poking my ass, can't put the horseshoe on the other hoof?"

"Cadance? You've gotten crabby," Mom said.

"I slipped some muscle relaxants into Cady's IV," Redheart said. "That's on me."

Shining whimpered and covered his eyes again as General Discharge levitated up the sledgehammer.

The sound of two fireponies hitting the floor in dead faints filled the room.

"This reminds me of the Battle of Alfafa Pass. The wily Desert Fox had positioned his forces in a tight pass between two mountains, so I had to land a single, decisive strike right in his center, punching straight through..."

"Ah, General, I don't think that will be necessary."

Everypony turned and looked toward the door to the living room. Except for Shining, Cadance, and the fainters, everypony genuflected to Princess Celestia as she ducked her tall horn under the lintel and entered the kitchen.

The general levitated her swagger stick away from Shining's bum, her face disappointed.

"Arise, arise, no need to kneel." Celestia chuckled. "Cadance, do I even need to take a guess?"

"Princess Platinum's Pussy of Power," she said, blushing red and clamping hard on Shining again.

"Ummm-hmmm," Celestia said, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I was sitting with the Griffonstone ambassador, having tea and discussing the new trade deal, when a spell arrived, carrying the smell of roasted coconut and... other olfactory indicators. It hit the ambassador in the face, and I spent the last thirty minutes apologizing and helping him clean up. He's married to a pony, so the scents were not unfamiliar to him."

"Ohhhhhh...." Cadance said. "Oh, that's... I'm sorry, Auntie 'Tia."

Celestia looked at Mom and Dad. "Your son is most impressive."

Dad nodded at Shining. "That's a hell of an erection, an hour and counting."

Celestia giggled. "Yes, but I meant Spike. I'll tutor him, and work on refining his messaging spell, as he gets older."

"Your Majesty," General Discharge said, "We were in the process of separating—"

"May I ask, Cadance," Celestia said, interrupting the general, "has this happened to you before?"

"No, Auntie."

Celestia gave a tiny smile. "There's a side effect of Princess Platinum's spell that never quite made it into the magic books."

"S-side effect?" Shining gasped.

"Indeed. It won't release a stallion while two particular conditions are both met."

"What conditions, ma'am?" Redheart said. "This isn't the first time I've treated dehydration caused by that spell, but I've never before seen the... uhhh..."

"Cock-chupacabra?" Dad supplied.

"The spell," Celestia declared, "won't release the stallion if, first, he hasn't reached his own satisfaction..."

"Uh-oh," Shining said.

"And second," Celestia continued, "if he's the caster's soulmate."

The kitchen was very silent for about ten seconds. Then, Dad hopped up and down and scooped Mom into a hug, both of them shouting.

"ooooooOOOOOOooooooo..." Cadance and Shining both said.

"So, just to be clear, ma'am," Redheart said to Celestia, "if he and Cadance are soulmates, he can't pull out until he ejaculates?"

"Precisely."

"Huh," Redheart said. "I guess I shoulda just told you to finish, earlier. My bad. Sorry."

"Well," Mom said. "Go ahead."

"I, I can't cum in front of all of you!"

"Shining," Cadance said, "I've cum in front of them about thirty—uh... thirty... thirty... GAAAH!... now thirty-one times. You can once to get us out of this."

"Can you all at least go into the other room?" Shining pleaded.

"There's a hole in the wall," Dad said. "Wouldn't help."

"I'm legally obligated to keep Cadance in my sight until she's medically released," Redheart said. "I could lose my paramedic's license, and that would wreck my nursing college application. And I don't deserve to suffer through this alone."

"I want to see what kind of cadet will be enrolling in my Academy," General Discharge said. "In adversity comes the true measure of a stallion." She saluted with her swagger stick.

"We need to stay here in case another spell lights off," the head firemare said.

"It's our house," Mom said. Dad nodded.

"It's my country," Celestia said. "And my niece."

"Hey," said Buffer Zone. "Maybe you could cum faster if Cadance kissed Redh—"

Fire Line bucked him in the ribs.

Cadance lifted her head and twisted her neck, so that she could nuzzle Shining. "Shiny," she said. "Ignore them. Close your eyes. Listen to my voice. Bite my ear—Ow! Yes, that. Feels good. Here... feel me... feel me squeezing on you? Feel how warm I am? Ignore everything, ignore the room, it's just you and me. Alone. Bite harder on my ear, squeeze my hips with your thighs, squeeze my wings. Make me yours, hold me down and don't let me move, I'm a pegasus at heart, you know, I was born a pegasus, I'm letting you squeeze my wings which is the most trusting thing I can do, I've had so many lovers and you're the first I've let do that..."

Shining listened to her voice, his eyes squinched and his ears scrunched tight to his head. Her breathing turned rapid and he tasted her skin and the silky coat of her ear as he bit. Her channel was still lubritated with her juices and the coconut butter, her body warming by the moment as she squeezed rhythmically on him, his massive hardon—and it was a good spell, let there be no doubt, he had never been so erect or so big in his life—and he pulled back, until his flaring tip caught at the tightness of her entrance, and then he stroked in slowly, concentrating on her voice and her ear and her warmth under him and around him and he hilted, his balls slapping into her pussy.

Then he stroked out again, the sensations building as the muscles of her ass expertly massaged his tip. He paused, fully withdrawn, and she gasped, cuming again, her asshole clenching, throbbing, massaging, gripping his sensitive tip.

He stroked in again. He heard the fireponies breathing, he heard Mom and Dad whispering, he could smell the subtle pleasant rosemary bouquet that was Redheart's earth pony body, so different from the unicorn scents he'd spent most of his life around, Redheart touching Cadance and occasionally brushing Shining's forehoof as she protected Cadance's IV lines from Shining's rutting, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was Cadance's warm body beneath him, her tight channel clenched around his shaft and his tip, he lost Redheart's smell and the sounds of the others as Cadance filled his world. The squishiness of her juices trapped between their bodies seemed to be the only thing in the universe outside of the pleasure building in his tip.

Cadance gasped and clenched again, her body spasming below him, and the pleasure she took from him drove him closer to his own goal.

She grew warmer and warmer, some sort of spell, perhaps. Sweat broke out up and down her back, wetting his chest, a salty taste in his mouth, hopefully her ear was sweating, not bleeding, but don't look, don't open his eyes, keep pumping.

His rhythm built as the audience faded from his mind and Cadance seemed to surround him, surrounding not just his cock but his soul.

"Rut me," she crooned. "Fill up my ass. If the spell says we're soulmates, let's show it it's right, let's show it that it hasn't even seen soulmates like us... us... Ahhhh!" Her hot juices spurted across his balls again and he reveled in the sensation, in knowing that her marecum dripped off him, that he would need a thirty-minute shower to get her smell off him, which he didn't want to do, and he loved it, loved knowing that he would smell more like Cadance than himself when he was done—

He drove himself deep, his balls smashing against her as he fought ever deeper, driving his cock further in, trying for just that little bit more, the deepest depths of her ass even more tight, even more hot, even more inviting, and then, then, then he was cumming, he felt his balls clench up to his body as they spasmed, forcing their load out. His cock jumped, burgeoning even bigger. Cadance shouted, this time in pain as he rocked too deep, but then her shout turned into a scream of pleasure and her tail wrapped around his, pulling against his butt to keep him planted deep, deep, deep inside her as he came and came some more, spurt after spurt as he unloaded. He felt her magic sizzling in his balls and up his shaft and into her as her original spell left him and returned to her.

Spent, he released her ear, flopped bonelessly onto her back, and opened his eyes.

"Yes," Cadance said with a smile. "Just like that. That was good.”

"Now, try pulling out," Celestia said.

Legs shaking and ears trembling, Shining lifted himself up, and his softening cock, entirely spent, popped out of Cadance.

"I think we're going to have a very interesting relationship," Cadance said, her own eyes closed as Redheart switched out an empty IV bag.

A long stream of Shining's white seed flowed from Cadance's tight pink hole, trickling down her labia and leaving a puddle on the floor. More dripped from his own tip, joining the puddle.

Sitting on top of the refrigerator, Twilight cut her invisibility spell, dropped her notepad and quill, and clasped both forehooves over her nose. "What is that smell?"

The firecrews and the general left, Mom mopped the kitchen, Celestia cast the Paroxysm of Panic spell to clean up the guest bedroom, Twilight lit a candle to remove the smell, and Dad finished hammering the nails that held the kitchen table over the ragged hole Iron Will had left in the front wall.

Shining sat on the kitchen floor, on a wet towel smeared with burn salve. Cadance sat on an icepack, next to him, their cutie marks touching. Her left ear was thickly bandaged, bruised black-and-blue by his biting.

"We'll talk about the walls and the carpets to the insurance company in the morning," Mom said, stroking Cadance's mane. "Don't worry about it."

Celestia hid a smile behind a mug of tea. "I'm returning to the Palace. I suggest you bed down here, Cadance, since your bag is already unpacked, and it's closer to your school, anyway. The shorter walk will let you sleep in for a few extra minutes."

"Yes, Auntie."

Celestia winked at her, then teleported out.

Mom and Dad looked at the two eighteen-year-olds.

Cadance fidgeted with the bandaids that covered the IV needle marks on her forelegs.

"Have you two learned your lesson?" Mom asked.

They both nodded.

"Go take a shower," Dad said, "and get some sleep. School is in less than five hours."

"I'll take the second shower, Cadance," Shining said, "you can go first."

"You two are adults..." Dad said with a shrug. "Good night."

Mom and Dad walked off towards their own bedroom, tails intertwined, Dad's massive hardon swaying with his step, Mom levitating the jar of coconut butter.

They slammed and locked their bedroom door.

Cadance and Shining looked at each other, then shared a quick kiss. After a hot and soapy shower together, they crawled into the guest room bed, which really was too narrow for two, hugged tight into each other's embrace, and fell asleep.