Ponies of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Pink Pastry

by To Be Somebody

Rating: teen
Tags: Big Macintosh, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Adventure
Length: 6507

MlP: FiM meets Pirates in this fun cross-over tale of sailing, cider, and swash-buckling pirates!

What would happen if Will, Jack and Elizabeth were replaced by Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy? This is a re-enactment of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl with every role being substituted with one of our favorite ponies. A pony's-eye view of what the life of a pirate would be like. Enjoy!

I should put a note here that there are hints of many shippings throughout the story, most of which involve Fluttershy. Stay tuned to find out which one prevails!

Rated T for possible potty-mouthed sailors, cider-drinking good times, and some good old (new) fashioned pirate (pony) violence!

(Note: This is the first of three stories I plan to create. I don't plan on doing any of the sequels at this point, just other variations of ponies and their pirate counterparts.

I do not own any rights to My Little Pony or Pirates of the Caribbean. Cover art is for show only, doesn't give anything away =D)

Published 2012-08-27 22:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-03 09:10:03 UTC

A Fateful Meeting

Chapter One
A Fateful Meeting

“Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.” A cream-yellow pegasus filly stood at the bow of a ship as it sailed through the ocean, lightly singing a joyful tune. “We party, we skip rope, we don’t brush our teeth, drink up me hearties—O-oh my!” The filly cried out as a hoof pulled her back from the edge of the ship. “You startled me!”

“Best be careful up there, now, missy,” the light-orange mare said to her, “ it’s dangerous ta stand so close t’the edge. Also best not to be singin’ ‘bout pahrits, that’s bad luck on a long voyage like this one.”

“Miss Applejack, please,” a beautiful white unicorn interjected, “don’t frighten the young filly.” She walked over and put a soft hoof on the filly’s shoulder. She wore a dazzling purple and white dress with a sun hat to match. She even somehow managed to keep it spotless despite the damp and dirty conditions of the ship.

“Mah apologies, loo-tennit. Ah just reckoned I oughta keep her safe away from the edge, in case of pahrits and all.”

The young filly gasped and backed further from the edge and into the lieutenant, kneeling down and covering her eyes with her forelegs. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put us in danger, I-I didn’t know…”

“Now, Fluttershy dear, it’s quite alright,” the lieutenant replied. Fluttershy looked up, her cheeks rosy red. “It is one of my many duties to track down any pirates and bring them in for justice. You’re safe aboard this ship, I promise.” She put her hoof under Fluttershy’s chin and planted a kiss on her forehead. Fluttershy smiled and looked away, thankful for the reassuring words. “Back to your duties now, Miss Applejack.”

“Yes ma’am.” Applejack walked a ways before turning back to Fluttershy and the lieutenant. She stood on her hind legs and pretended to bark orders as other sailors walked by, coaxing a giggle from the young filly.

“Hm? What is it?” The lieutenant asked.

“Oh, i-it’s nothing,” Fluttershy responded, quickly looking away as not to get Applejack in any trouble. “Um, Lieutenant Rarity?”

“Please, dear, just call me Rarity.”

“Oh…okay. Um, Rarity? I was wondering, what did you mean, you know, when you said you were going to bring the pirates to justice?”

“Well you see, pirates are the worst kind of criminals, and I am a soldier in duty to the king. I will work to see to it that they are all taught a lesson for their crimes.”

Fluttershy’s ears perked up slightly. “You mean they commit crimes like disrupting the peace and stealing and things like that, so you want to bring them in to teach them the errors of their ways so that they can become functioning members of society again?” Fluttershy asked in a single breath, remembering the exciting bedtime stories she had been told.

“Oh, heavens no, Fluttershy…it’s so much worse than that…” Rarity looked down to her, her face devoid of any joy.

Fluttershy gulped and shied away, spooked by Rarity’s grave response. "Y-you mean...they..."

“Those horrible ruffians commit the most terrible crimes against fashion! Those filthy shirts, ugh,” Rarity stuck her tongue out with a sour look on her face, “and don’t even get me started on those hats! And can you believe they have only one set of shoes?! One! And sometimes they don’t even match!” Fluttershy took more careful steps backwards, more frightened now than ever. “If I ever get my hands on a pirate I swear to Celestia that I will…”

Rarity’s words grew quieter and quieter as Fluttershy managed to slip away. She felt sorry for whoever had to stand and listen to her rant now, but she certainly wasn’t ready to do so. She made her way over to the starboard edge (much more carefully than before) and watched as the peaceful waves drifted past the ship. It was a dangerous thing to do, according to Applejack, but nothing compared to the gentle rock of the ship and the soft sound as the water was sliced away.

A small glint in the distance caught her eye and she looked up. There in the water only a few yards away was a young unicorn, no older than herself, floating on some flotsam. She rubbed her eyes once and looked back again to be sure. The violet unicorn continued to float toward the side of the ship, seemingly motionless.

“Oh my goodness,” she yelled quietly, “there’s somepony in the water!” A passing sailor took notice and glanced down as the ship approached the unconscious filly.

“Pony overboard!” He yelled to the crew, bringing them all to attention. A couple of pegasi sailors jumped from the ship and flew down to the floating debris, lifting the unicorn up and onto the ship. Lieutenant Rarity removed her hat and handed it to Applejack before laying an ear to the unicorn’s chest.

She let out a smooth sigh, “She’s still breathing.” Before anything could be done with the unicorn another sailor called out from the bow of the ship, turning everypony’s attention to the waters ahead. As they all gathered around the nose of the ship they gasped in horror at what they saw: A merchant vessel of sometime that had fallen victim to a horrible pirate attack.

The vessel continued to float through the seas, though its sails had become completely useless, covered in layer upon layer of icing. Streamers and confetti covered nearly the entire deck of the ship, rendering every tool and device unusable. Ponies lay scattered across the party decorations, unable to move as they groaned in pain from their stomach and toothaches.

“Alright everypony,” Rarity said as she turned and began readying the lifeboats, “I want two search and rescue crews formed immediately. Get to the boats and hurry over to that ship, those ponies are in need of our assistance.”

“Consarnit all,” Applejack cried as she threw her hat to the ground, “those dern pirates ain’t got no sorta respect! Merchant vessels ain’t got the kinda defense to hold up against an attack, why I tell you what—”

“Applejack, please, control yourself,” Rarity pleaded, “I need you on the other life boat leading those ponies.”

“Ah-ah, loo-tennit.” Applejack jumped aboard the boat and yanked on one of the ropes, sending it plummeting to the water below.

Rarity turned to Fluttershy, who had retreated underneath a nearby railing, covering her eyes once again. “Fluttershy, dearest, look here. I need you to take care of this filly while I’m gone, alright? She’ll be in your care, so do your very best for me.” Fluttershy looked up from her not-so-hidden hiding place, nodding lightly at Rarity. “Thank you, Fluttershy.”

Rarity turned and pointed to two nearby pegasi sailors. They quickly dropped their current tasks and assited her in entering the lifeboat. “Now listen, we’re going to need every bit of Clopto Bismol and toothpaste we have in the cargo bay ready and waiting for our return.” The two pegasi nodded and grabbed the rope attached to the lifeboat. “Oh, oh! Please, be careful, I couldn’t stand to get saltwater on these shoes.” The pegasi swallowed hard, but nodded once in response.

Fluttershy turned back to the unicorn, who still lay motionless on the deck. She looked down to the other filly's hoof and saw a colorful band wrapped around it. She traced it back as it disappeared underneath the unicorn’s foreleg. With gentle hooves she lifted the leg up and pulled a short, sparkly object out. It was tube-shaped and had another paper tube coiled up on one end with flashy streamers attached.

“This…this is a party horn!” She looked back down to the unconscious unicorn. She looked so peaceful and innocent. “But you seem so nice…how could you be a pirate?”

The unicorn suddenly sat upright from the deck, looking to her left before quickly laying back down and grabbing her belly tight. “Oh, my tummy!” She cried. She looked up to Fluttershy, who had once again covered her eyes at the unicorn’s sudden awakening. “Wh..oooo,” the unicorn squeezed her belly tighter, “who are are you?” She moaned.

“M-me? My name’s…Fluttershy…”

“Fluttershy?” The unicorn asked, unsure she had heard it correctly the first time. Fluttershy nodded, uncovering her eyes.

“Um..what’s your name?” Fluttershy asked.

“Twilight…Sparkle…” The unicorn managed to finish her name before drifting back into unconsciousness.

“Oh, oh my goodness,” Fluttershy panicked and searched for help, “We need some Clopto Bismol over here right away!” A few sailors turned to her with puzzled looks. She flinched backward when she realized she was trying to order them around. “O-oh, I mean, um, that is, if you want to, anyway.”

As the sailors rushed over with the medicine, Fluttershy hid the party horn from them. She turned away and held it in her hooves, feeling a sense of joy from the fun colors. From the corner of her eye she saw something pink out over the ocean. As she glanced up she caught a quick glimpse of a ship surrounded in fog. It had bright pink sails and streamers flying from the masts. The wind began to blow as the ship sailed off into the fog, but not before Fluttershy got a good look at the flag, an image she would never forget: Party balloons.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Can you guess who's going to fill the place of Governor Swan? Leave your answer in the comments below! Everypony who guesses correctly gets a gold star <3 Also, my proofreader skipped out and went to bed on me, so feel free to point out the numerous mistakes!

Of Dreams and Desires

Chapter Two
Of Dreams and Desires

Fluttershy awoke with a start, yanked back into reality by her own subconscious’ startling images. She glanced at her surroundings, happy to find she was safe in the comfort of her home once more. She sat in silence for a moment as her dream still lingered in her thoughts. Though she had already forgotten the finer details, she could still see the bright sails and balloon flag of that mysterious ship.

With the scenes still fresh in her mind she began rummaging through her dresser. It had been years since she had even looked at the party horn. She had kept it hidden away from the world, afraid of the consequences that might befall herself and Twilight Sparkle. With the toss of a few bodices she revealed a small lockbox tucked away from the eyes of the world. She took a moment to inspect it, noticing how much smaller it seemed after so many years.

As she was about to activate the release, she hesitated. After so long of keeping this secret sealed away, what had possessed her to rekindle these old flames? Still, the ominous allure of the box and the forbidden contents inside was too much to ignore. With a firm pressure from both hooves the release clicked loudly and the lid sprung open, spewing a cloud of dust into the air.

Fluttershy kept her eyes fixated on the space within the box, her anticipation and anxiety growing every second as the dust settled. Her eyes opened wide at the first shiny glint of the streamers. She could feel her heart begin to race as she stared at the taboo object in her hooves. With gentle motions she rested the lockbox on the top of the dresser and dipped a hoof into the opening, grasping the party horn lightly. Waves of excitement and fear crashed over her as she gazed at it once again. It was exactly as she had remembered it, a near-perfect replica of the one she had dreamed of.

She pulled the string tight, judging its size as she looked into her mirror. More mixed sensations coursed through her as she pulled it over her head and down to the neckline of her pajamas. She brushed her mane away and examined herself. It fit perfectly around her neck with the party horn dangling lightly, glimmering brightly in her dim room. She continued to stare at it through the mirror, mesmerized by its bright and playful colors.

Driven by impulse she raised the horn to eye level. What could possibly be so bad about it? Something that could bring such joy with nothing but a glance couldn’t really be as bad as she had been told, could it?

She needed to find out for herself. With slow and cautious movements she raised the tube to her muzzle, suspending it in front of her open jaw. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach as she slowly wrapped her lips around the tasteless plastic, inhaling deeply through her nostrils and holding perfectly still. Just one more moment, and—

“Fluttershy, sweetie, are you awake?”

Fluttershy dropped the party horn from her mouth, wheezing the air out of her lungs as she did so. She hadn’t even thought to check the time; of course someone would come looking for her if she had slept in too late.

“No!” She yelped, “I-I mean, yes, but don’t come in yet, please.”

“What?” The voice called from the other side of her door, “What do you mean, dear? Are you okay in there?” The handle on the door began to twist and jiggle. Fluttershy thanked her lucky stars that no one had fixed her rusty old door yet. She frantically tugged to get the string through her mane and back over her head. She tucked the party horn away in the front pocket of her pajamas and rushed to her window, pulling the curtains back and pushing the panes open. It was a gorgeous day outside, likely the reason her mother was coming to check on her.

With a few more twists and a firm push the door popped open. An older mare with long, elegant gray hair composed herself after exerting such force. She looked to the window where Fluttershy sat, admiring the view of her beloved town.

“Oh, hello there mother,” she called from across the room, “sorry to worry you, I just simply couldn’t pull myself away from this beautiful scene.” Fluttershy lamented the idea of secrecy and lying to her own mother, but she feared the alternative much more.

“Ah, well, it’s good to see you’re enjoying yourself at least,” her mother replied, “I was afraid you were still asleep and wasting the day away.” As she spoke two slightly smaller mare twins entered the room. One was a pale rose color with a cerulean mane, the other an exact opposite with a rose mane and a cerulean coat. Each held a bag in her mouth with small ribbons tying them shut. The mother took the bags and held them gleefully. “I’ve brought you a gift,” she said with a giggle.

“Oh goodness, for me?” Fluttershy asked as she turned from her window. “Why thank you!” She accepted the bags and placed them on the floor, yanking the ribbons open with her mouth. Inside the first was a small golden-yellow hat with a pink lace tracing the rim. The second bag had a luxurious sky-blue dress of an odd design Fluttershy hadn’t seen before. “They’re beautiful, thank you so much! But, um, why am I getting gifts?”

“Why, to celebrate the promotion of your favorite captain, of course!”

Fluttershy let out a quiet squeal of excitement. “Rarity’s getting a promotion?! That’s just wonderful!”

“Go on, try them on!” Her mother urged, “Aloe, Lotus, give her a hoof, please?”

The twin mares walked Fluttershy to her mirror and sat her down. Fluttershy tensed as they began to remove her pajamas, remembering the party horn stashed only a few inches from where they had placed their hooves. Luckily neither pony noticed as they carefully pulled the pajamas over Fluttershy’s head and laid them on the dresser. The hat went on first, and Fluttershy loved it instantly. It wasn’t too large and didn’t stand out at all; it only accentuated the colors of her coat and her mane in a subtle way that Fluttershy appreciated.

“Oh, honey, it looks absolutely perfect on you,” her mother commented. “You simply must try the dress now!”

Fluttershy nodded, leaving the odd-looking dress to Aloe and Lotus. They tiptoed around her in a sort of dance as they tied laces, pulled strings and straightened wrinkles. It all went well until she felt pressure bearing down on her wings. Her reflexes took hold and she tried to flare them out, only to find the restraints held them tight.

“Um, excuse me, but I can’t move my wings,” she said in a hushed voice to the twins, “could you loosen those knots, please? I mean, if you want to, that is.”

“Nonsense!” Lotus replied.

“That’s no way for a lady to compose herself, is it?” Aloe added.

“I-I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said, her ears lowered in shame, “I guess I just don’t understand.”

“It’s the latest fashion statement in Manechester, sweetie,” her mother reassured her, “It’s very unladylike to flaunt one’s horn or wings.”

“I…I guess that makes sense…” It felt very unnatural for her to not have control over her wings, but she rarely used them anyway.

A young mare entered and cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Governor Mayor Mare, but you have a visitor.”

“Splendid,” she replied, “Aloe, Lotus, do take care of her, won’t you?”

“But of course.”

“Don’t worry yourself, Governor Mare, she will look positively stunning.”

“Thank you girls.” The governor turned and followed the young mare down the stairs.

Waiting in the foyer of the large mansion stood Twilight Sparkle. Now a grown mare and the local blacksmith, she delighted in nothing more than spending all of her spare time reading, though she was still very accomplished in her workings of metal. She had come to deliver a special order placed by none other than the governor herself, and it was a piece she was sure would be more than satisfactory.

Just as she was about to let curiosity get the better of her, her wait was ended as the mare from before descended the stairs with Governor Mare following close behind. “Ah, Twilight, how lovely it is to see you.”

“Governor Mare, the pleasure is all mine.” Twilight levitated a long, rectangular case onto a nearby table. “I have your order, ma’am.”

“Wonderful, let’s see it.”

Twilight’s horn glowed as she removed the cover and lifted the sword from its cradle within the box. “It’s a masterpiece of precision and beauty,” she explained, “The blade is diamond-encrusted for both a brilliant glow and unmatched sharpness. The handle houses only the most beautiful amethysts and emeralds, laid in place with pure gold, of course.”

“Very, very impressive, Twilight,” Governor Mare praised, “Commodore Rarity will be absolutely ecstatic. You have my compliments.”

Twilight simply nodded in response, silently jumping for joy at her success. As she lifted her head she turned to see Fluttershy making her way down the stairs and into the foyer. She was now fully clothed in her new dress and hat, although she was still slightly uncomfortable having her wings tied down. Twilight wouldn’t have noticed, though; she simply stared as the beautiful mare descended into the same room she was in. She found it hard to believe that this was the same pony that had helped rescue her from a terrible fate oh-so-many years ago.

“Twilight!” Fluttershy called quietly, “It’s so wonderful to see you!” She wrapped her forelegs around Twilight’s neck and pulled her in for a hug. Twilight felt her cheeks grow warmer, surprised by the straightforward attention she was receiving from the governor’s daughter. She lightly reciprocated the hug with a gentle pat on Fluttershy’s back, not wanting to seem too forward herself. “Would you believe that I had a dream about you just last night?” If Twilight’s cheeks weren’t glowing red before, they certainly were now. A dream about her? A pony as amazing as Fluttershy was dreaming about her? “It was waaayyy back when we first met, how we pulled you out of the water and everything else. Do you remember?”

“Of course I do,” Twilight answered. I would never forget meeting somepony like you, she thought to herself. “Seems like so long ago now, doesn’t it?”

“I really hate to interrupt you two,” Governor Mare interjected, “but we must be going now. Don’t want to be late for the ceremony!”

“Oh, right, of course, sorry,” Fluttershy said as she nodded her head, “I’ll see you later, Twilight!”

Twilight nodded her head and watched as they left the mansion. The two of them were escorted to a carriage and began riding to the far end of town. “Bye, Fluttershy…”

Sorry for the later-than-expected update, I got called in to work today (my day off). I didn't really want to post this yet since there isn't much happening, but I figured I'd put a little something up here to show I haven't forgotten about it. I'm already a good portion through the next chapter, which will be filled with fun and antics galore.

Gold stars go to Rozen-Knight and Fictional Critic for correctly guessing the governor's pony-double, and an honorable mention to The Belgian Brony for making me seriously consider using Angel as the governor. Can you guess who will take the place of Murtogg and Mullroy? 10 gamerscore to everypony who guesses correctly!

Desperate

Chapter 3
Desperate

As noon approached and the sun loomed high overhead, a rainbow-maned mare rode favorable winds inward toward the docks of Port Cheval. She held her head high as she stood atop the mast, peering toward her destination. The damp sea air washed over her, momentarily stripping her of her sense of reality as she basked in its cool embrace. Sure, sailing didn't beat flying, but it was a very close second.

Her fleeting seconds of ecstasy were ended as she felt her elevation slowly lowering. It took a moment for her to recall that her small boat was, in fact, sinking. With a flap of her wings she lowered herself to the already-flooded deck. To her dismay the small hole that had formed only an hour ago had now grown to uncontrollable proportions. Worse yet was that she had tossed the bucket overboard with nearly everything else in a desperate attempt to postpone her boat's inevitable journey to the depths.

"Come on, Rainbow Dash, think next time," she chided herself, "It's okay, you can do this." With no tools at her disposal and the docks another fifty yards away, she resorted to her own physical prowess. She tossed her saddlebag over her back and took off into the air, positioning herself behind the mast. With a deep breath she braced herself against the wet wood and began flapping her wings with all of her might, putting all of her momentum into the boat. A groan escaped her mouth as she shifted her weight, bearing down with every bit of force she could muster. It was hard to judge how much it was helping, but she was sure she had already made a huge difference. In fact, she was sure that she would arrive at the docks in a matter of seconds.

A quick look beyond the sail revealed that she had slowed to a near stop. The docks were a mere twenty yards away but the deck of her boat was now fully submerged underwater.

"No! No, no, no! Come on, baby, just a little further!" With nothing else to resort to, she grabbed some of the many ropes attached to the sails and made a desperate attempt to pull the boat to shore herself. She managed to drag it another yard before the weight of the water yanked the ropes from her hooves and doomed the vessel to a watery grave. Tears formed in her eyes as she watched the last trace of her favorite boat disappear beneath the waves.

Exhausted and defeated Rainbow Dash wearily flew the final few yards to the end of the docks. She collapsed the instant her hooves touched dry land, panting heavily and cursing her luck.

"It was right there!" She shouted to nobody in particular, "Right there!" She slammed her left forehoof into the dock. In her angered rant she hadn't noticed the young colt dangling his legs over the water with a fishing pole in his hooves. He had remained silent though it was clear he had witnessed the whole thing. "Of all the rotten luck, why in Celestia's name would it have to sink right, stinking—" Her sentence was cut short when she stood and the colt came into view. The two of them stared at one another for an uncomfortably long few seconds, neither one saying a word.

"Hi." Rainbow Dash finally broke the silence. "So um…" She fished around in her saddlebag and emerged with a single bit in her teeth. With a flick of her neck she tossed it beside the colt. "You didn't see anything."

The colt looked down at the bit and then back up to Rainbow Dash. He made a "zip-the-lip" motion with his hoof and turned back to the ocean. Satisfied with his response, Rainbow Dash stormed down the dock and into Port Cheval, uttering curses under her breath.

The town was larger than it had seemed when she sailed in, which was good news for her. While she hadn't planned on losing her beloved boat there were still plenty of other sea-worthy vessels making port at the time. Better yet was the fact that the town seemed to be somewhat deserted, with only a few ponies actually out and about. Maybe her boat sinking wasn't such a bad thing after all, not when they were practically begging to have one of theirs stolen.

She trotted along the coastline, perusing the selection in front of her. She couldn't steal just any ship, after all. It would be hard to find something as cool as her boat, but a few personal touches could turn one of these larger ships into a sailing hunk of awesome.

"Too old…too brown…not enough cannons…" She muttered to herself as she checked each ship off of her mental list. Her eyes continued to scan the waters until they landed on a sleek, newly completed ship anchored just off the shore-line. It was larger than her boat but not by much, and she could see it had been crafted with state-of-the-art aerodynamics for maximum speed potential.

"Now that's a ship. Let's take her for a spin." Avoiding any possible onlookers she slipped into the darkness underneath the pier, already plotting her daring escape on her very fancy new ship.

Meanwhile, high above the docks, Fluttershy sat amongst the higher-end citizens of Port Cheval in anticipation of Rarity's promotion ceremony. Though she was very excited for this momentous occasion, she still felt rather uncomfortable in the foreign dress her mother had gifted her. She had been told by many ponies how beautiful she looked, and she was very flattered, but the idea of having her wings tied down was definitely going to take some getting used to. She lifted a hoof and traced the string around her neck, daydreaming about the party horn that lay hidden underneath her dress. What would it sound like? What would—

"Fluttershy, please," her mother whispered to her as the musicians began playing, "Stop fidgeting. The ceremony is about to begin."

"O-oh, I'm so sorry." Fluttershy retreated beneath her mane, unaware that she had been making such a commotion. "It's…it's just that, I really don't—"

"Look, there she is!" A nearby pony called out, drowning out Fluttershy's words.

"She looks amazing!" Another onlooker commented. More and more of the audience chimed in and began to produce a dull roar of compliments and flattery as Rarity made her way through the row of soldiers.

Fluttershy conceded against the deafening sounds of the crowd, accepting her uncomfortable fate for the time being. How long could one ceremony be, anyway?

Rainbow Dash slowed when she noticed two guards posted by the pier. They were tall, thin stallions with long and pointy horns. Though they looked nearly identical the moustache on the left pony made it easy to discern them.

"Shoot…well, I guess two guards isn't too much trouble for a gorgeous ship like that," Rainbow commented to herself. "Just gotta think of a way…hmm…" She scratched her chin, deep in thought. She looked to the ship and then back to the guards. "Well, it's worth a shot, anyway."

She began to trot nonchalantly down the pier. As she approached the guards they simply stared at her, seemingly confused by her bold decision.

"Afternoon, men. Good to see you hard at work. As you were." She mustered the most official voice she could and avoided eye contact. Impersonating a soldier was nothing new to her, she only hoped that it actually worked this time.

"And just where do you think you're going?" One of the guards asked.

Rainbow Dash froze in place, ready to run. "To…inspect the ships, of course." She turned around slowly to gauge their reactions. The two of them looked at her, seemingly puzzled. The clean-shaven one leaned over to whisper something to his mustached partner. Rainbow was nearly ready to take off into the air and make her escape until they both stood and nodded toward her.

"So, miss, I take it this means you're in the market for a new ship?"

Rainbow swallowed hard. Had she really been that easy to figure out? Maybe these two were a lot smarter than they looked. "You could say that…"

"I see," the other guard replied, "and so that means one of these ships has caught your eye."

Rainbow paused before answering. Why hadn't they tried to arrest her yet? Were they waiting for reinforcements? Was it some kind of setup? "Maybe. Maybe not."

"Oh-ho, playing hard to get? Well, don't worry, I'm sure we can come to an agreement, can't we?" The guard asked sweetly.

Hard to get? An agreement? This was too good to be true: Rainbow had stumbled upon a nearly-empty town with one of the coolest ships she'd ever seen, and now she finds corrupt guards willing to make a deal to look the other way. Rainbow Dash, luck's back on your side, she thought to herself.

"Sure thing, pals," she answered with a grin, "what did you guys have in mind?"

The two guards beamed at her response. "Wonderful!" They said in unison. They jumped to Rainbow Dash's side and rushed her to the end of the pier against her will. They stopped in front of a fairly large, rusted ship.

"This one here we call the 'Breath-Taking Brigantine!' An unparalleled—"

"—And utterly unique vessel fit for a stunning pegasus such as yourself!"

"Um…" Was all Rainbow Dash could utter before being whisked away to the next ship. It was much larger than the last but in even worse disrepair.

"Obviously a twin-mast ship is nowhere near your standards, we just wanted to get you warmed up for—"

"—'The Get-Up-And-Galleon! A true gem of the sea, worthy of only the best and boldest captains!"

"This thing? It's a piece of – wait a minute," Rainbow Dash shook her head, clearing her thoughts, "you mean you're not guards?"

"Well of course we are. He's Flim!" The mustached pony answered.

"He's Flam!" The clean-shaven pony chimed in. "Port Cheval salesponies!"

"'Salesponies?'" Rainbow asked.

"Nonpareil!" They answered in unison.

"Oh man, I hate the French," Rainbow Dash buried her face in her hooves. This was worse than ten guards. At this point she didn't care which ship she took as long as it took her very far away from these two.

"Don't look so down, friend! There are plenty of other ships ripe and ready for the picking!"

Rainbow glanced back at the ship that had caught her eye. "What about that one?" She gestured.

"Oh, you mean the Aero Nautical?" Rainbow Dash stifled a squee. Even the name was super cool. "Sorry, property of the new commodore. But don't worry, if you'll just follow us…"

Rainbow watched in anguish as her prized ship grew smaller and smaller as the brothers dragged her away. Guards and salesponies. It was going to be hard to work her way out of this one.

Fluttershy found herself eating her earlier words. The ceremony drug on for what seemed like an unnecessary amount of time, though it didn't help that she never did get used to the straps on her wings.

Worse yet was the fact that she wasn't yet allowed to leave. As the governor's only daughter she had to keep a good face with the town, and leaving an event like this one early could only say negative things about her mother. At least she would get to see Rarity again; that always put a smile on her face.

She did her best to hide her discomfort as she mingled with the townsfolk, shaking hooves and exchanging shy smiles with complete strangers. Normally she would have been bothered by the attention and sudden immersion into large crowds, but she couldn't get her mind off of the odd restraints holding her back. Even though she never did like flying, it felt as though she had lost a limb whenever she tried to flap her wings.

Don't panic, Fluttershy, she thought. Easier thought than done. Too much longer and she would certainly—

"Fluttershy, dear, over here!" Fluttershy turned toward the familiar voice to see Rarity calling to her from atop the tower. "Come, let's have a chat!"

Fluttershy nodded vigorously, glad at not only having found a friendly face but at having found a distraction to keep her mind off of her wings, even if only for a few moments.

"That dress is absolutely stunning," Rarity commented as Fluttershy approached, "wherever did you get it?"

"O-oh, this?" Fluttershy grimaced. Her blissful ignorance was short-lived. "My mother gave it to me, it's from—"

"Manechester, yes. You look truly beautiful and most lady-like."

Fluttershy blushed at the compliment. It was one thing to hear it from nameless ponies, but a compliment from Rarity was a true testament to beauty. "Thank you, Commodore, but I do have to say—"

"Oh, please, darling," Rarity interrupted once again, "we are far beyond formalities. In fact, I find it hard to believe my eyes when I see you standing here after so many years."

As Rarity spoke Fluttershy's mind wandered back to her wings. There was an insatiable itch growing as she continued to fuss and fidget, attempting to find any form of comfort in her torturous outfit. "Uh-huh," she replied absent-mindedly.

"You truly have grown into quite the beautiful mare," Rarity continued, "not that I had any doubts, of course. And, being the governor's daughter, you're becoming the talk of the town." Rarity looked away toward the town behind them, her words growing heavier as she considered each one of them before speaking. "I find myself lucky to be able to call myself one of your close friends."

Fluttershy was now nearly ignoring her. Whether or not she liked to fly, she had quickly realized how utterly useless she felt without the ability at her command. She twisted and turned, now completely indifferent about what happened to her dress, as long as she freed her wings.

"Rarity," she sighed softly, "I think I—"

"I-I know," Rarity replied hastily, "I apologize if I seem to be a bit frank, but it's the truth."

Fluttershy could feel herself regaining control as she continued to twist and turn, though she failed to see the edge of the tower as she grew closer and closer. She gathered all her strength for one final kick, sending herself reeling backwards and over the edge of the tower. Unable to fly, Fluttershy could only scream as she felt gravity pull her to the sea below.

"Fluttershy?!" Rarity rushed to the edge and watched as Fluttershy collided with the water. Without hesitation she magically lifted her many accessories and dropped them to the ground, preparing to jump in after her.

A pegasus sailor grabbed her tail and yanked her back from the edge. "My apologies ma'am, but it's far too dangerous!"

"Well then you go down there," Rarity demanded, "We must save her!"

"Nopony can navigate those cliffs, the drafts are simply too strong where the warm land air meets the sea!"

"Then all of you, with me! To the docks!" The soldiers quickly formed ranks and followed as Rarity raced out of the fort.

Do these two ever shut up?! Rainbow Dash could feel her willpower draining with every passing second. These two were definitely good at what they did: If they didn't sell through showmanship, they battered their customers into desperation. Heck, she had actually considered purchasing the "Daring Dinghy" when they said it was a replica of Daring Do's own boat.

"Ah yes, you'll love this one—"

"—We guarantee it!" If only Rainbow had a bit for every time they said that.

A loud splash caught everypony's attention. The three of them rushed to the end of the dock as ripples spread across the waters beneath the fort. Up above they could see ponies standing near the edge, crying out after whoever had fallen.

"We've got to save her!" Flim cried.

"Agreed! Ready br—"

"No!" Rainbow commanded. "You two, stay here!" She wasn't going to let this chance slip away. "I'll go in after her, just hold this." She slipped her saddlebags off and dropped them at the brothers' feet. "And don't even think about taking anything."

"Please," Flam replied with a scoff, "we're salesponies, not swindlers!"

I'm not sure which one I'd prefer, Rainbow thought. Her wings flared out and she leapt into the air, soaring high before plunging straight into the water.

Beneath the waves Fluttershy floated slowly to the bottom of the bay, knocked out cold by the impact of the water. As she fell the string around her neck loosened slightly, allowing the party horn to slip out of her dress. It floated upwards against the water's weight, unwilling to accept a watery grave just yet.

With no witnesses present, the paper coil unfurled, letting loose a horrendous screech and sealing the fate of the entire town.

Howdy everypony! So no gamerscore rewards this time, although everybody had some very good guesses! I won't give too big a spoiler, but one of you actually guessed the roles correctly for the other pirates fic I have planned! Also, to anybody worried about Pinkie being Barbossa, never fear! Don't forget that I'm only interchanging important roles, not copying character styles! Pinkie will be the terror of the seas in ways only Pinkie could manage! So, can you guess who Mr. Brown's stand-in will be? A shiny shilling to all who guess correctly!