Oiii Josuke!

by Penguifyer

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Human, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 2274

“OIII Josuke! I used Za Hando to erase the barriers between dimensions and now I’m a pony! Isn’t that wacky, Josuke?”

“OIII Josuke! I used Za Hando to erase the barriers between dimensions and now I’m a pony! Isn’t that wacky, Josuke?”

Yes, it is. Too bad Okuyasu pulled something else through too.

HapHazred made a joke of this a few weeks ago in the Writers Group forums. I turned it into a story.

Takes place sometime before the ending sequence of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable.

Expect about 2-3 chapters.

Published 2020-08-26 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-26 14:00:01 UTC

Part 1

Oiii Josuke!

By Penguifyer

“OIII Josuke! I used Za Hando to erase the barriers between dimensions and now I’m a pony! Isn’t that wacky, Josuke?”

“Okuyasu!?” Josuke shouted. In front of him stood a meter high pony with light purple fur and black hair. It looked adorable with its large head and wide eyes, unlike anything Josuke had seen before. Yet, it wore Okuyasu’s uniform, which fit its body for some reason. “Wha-what happened?”

“I told you. Just bring out your Crazy Diamond and fix me already,” the pony sassed.

“U-uh, fine.” Josuke extended his arm and snapped. “Crazy Diamond!” Behind him, Crazy Diamond appeared with arms spread and flexed. With a sweep, the Stand thrust its arm at the pony, striking its muzzle.

Instead of hurting the pony, a golden aura enveloped the pony. However, circles and lines formed across the pony’s body, glowing in their own turquoise aura.

“Nani!?” Josuke screamed. The aura blasted out and knocked Josuke back.

“Josuke!” the pony screamed back as Josuke stumbled back to his feet.

Josuke brushed off his hair and stared at the ground. “They say Stand Users to attract other Stand Users. You wouldn’t happen to be an evil one, would you?”

“No, Josuke! It’s me, I swear!” the pony pleaded.

Josuke raised his head and laughed. “Crazy Diamond can strike at three hundred kilometers per hour. Would you like me to show you?”

“Josuke, look!” A Stand appeared behind the pony with a blue body and grey limbs like The Hand. However, it was also a pony. “See? It’s Za Hando!”

Josuke walked within range of Crazy Diamond. “I don’t know what kind of Stand you have. But impersonating a friend…” Crazy Diamond appeared in front of Josuke, charging up a punch. “…really pisses me off!”

“JOSUKE, NO!!!” the pony screamed as Crazy Diamond socked it in the face, sending it flying back and through a wooden fence.

“Okuyasu!” Josuke shouted, realizing that only Okuyosu would trust him enough to not throw a punch. He ran through the fence and found Okuyosu laying on the ground, bleeding from his muzzle. “Give me a sec, I’ll fix you up.”

Josuke grabbed Okuyosu’s hoof and enveloped his foreleg in a golden aura. More circles and lines appeared on Okuyosu’s leg, causing another smaller wave to blast out and shove Josuke back.

“Dammit, is that a Stand power?” Josuke asked, relaxing his arms.

“What’s wrong?”

Josuke knelt down and helped Okuyasu to his hooves. “I don’t know, but someone knows I can fix things with my Stand. Something is attached to you to stop me from using it.”

“So, you can’t fix me?”

“Not without killing myself,” Josuke noted, standing back up and fixing his hair.

“Then what am I gonna do?” Okuyasu sat down and stared at his hooves.

“I call Jotaro. He’ll know what to do.”

Before either of them could move, the voice of Koichi yelled behind the wall. “Josuke! Okuyasu! I heard something break.”

“Koichi! Don’t look!” Josuke shouted as Koichi peeked through the gap in the fence.

“Josuke, what’s that animal behind you?”

Okuyasu raised a hoof to Josuke’s demise. “Oi Koichi! Nothing to see here…”

Josuke blocked Okuyasu’s mouth. “What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Okuyasu!?” Koichi screamed. “What happened to you?”

“Uh, I can explain!” Okuyasu called, sitting down and raising his hooves

Josuke facepalmed. Morioh never ceased to surprise him.

— — —

Jotaro stood up after examining Okuyasu. “Yup, that’s from a Stand User.”

Josuke and Okuyasu glared at Jotaro. Okuyasu sat on the ground with a tissue in one of his nostrils with Josuke beside him, pressing an ice pack against his muzzle.

Koichi, standing next to Jotaro, turned toward him. “Uh, Jotaro, couldn’t we all see that?”

“Okuyasu,” Jotaro called, catching everyone’s attention. “When did this happen? What else happened?”

Okuyasu put a hoof to his chin. “Well, last night, I was taking the trash out when I noticed some strange light in the street. I walked up to it and made it out to be some kind of tear floating in the air. Thinking I should get rid of it, I pulled out Za Hando and scraped at it. As it disappeared, a weird animal popped and fell out of the ground. Then Kira’s father shot the Stand Arrow at it. Before I could go after him, the animal opened its eyes, struck me with a crystal-like Stand, and turned me into this. When I got back, it was gone.”

“You understand that you both erased the tear and pulled something through it, which is now a Stand User?”

“Well, um, I…” Okuyasu averted his eyes from Jotaro.

“Yare yare daze,” Jotaro cut him off, adjusting his hat. “Josuke—” Jotaro turned toward Josuke, causing him and Koichi to flinch “—don’t do anything stupid. I don’t know what kind of Stand power this is, but if we can defeat the user, the effects might be undone. Even if they aren’t, you can use Crazy Diamond to fix him once this barrier is removed. However—” he pointed at Josuke “—if you change, you won’t be able to turn yourself back.”

Josuke glanced at Okuyasu, sweating from the realization. Crazy Diamond could fix and revert anything but Josuke himself.

Jotaro turned and walked toward the door. “Kira’s still out there. Best not to cripple ourselves before facing him.”

The three of them stood silently as Jotaro left the room.

“Oi Josuke, does this mean I can skip class?” Okuyasu noted.

“Okuyasu!?” Koichi shouted. “What are you thinking?”

Josuke sighed. “I hate to admit it but he’s right.”

“What?” Koichi froze.

“With a Stand User this powerful on the loose, we shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves. Okuyasu is a walki… trotting target.”

“What are we gonna do then?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Josuke pointed at Koichi. “Find Rohan and bring him here.”

— — —

Rohan Kishibe stood under a tree on the outskirts of Morioh, photographing the landscape. If anyone asked him what he was doing, he would say he is gathering references for his manga Pink Dark Boy. In reality, he was searching for Kira's father at the request of Jotaro. If he could identify where Kira’s father’s location, he could narrow down possible Stand Users or even Kira himself.

“Rohan! Rohaaaan!” the voice of Koichi shouted from a distance.

Rohan lowered his camera and glanced to the side, seeing Koichi run up and stop beside him.

“R-rohan—” he paused and panted “—can you come with me and help us out?”

“By ‘us’ do you mean Josuke and Okuyasu?” Rohan raised his camera back up to his eye.

“Well, uh, more like… just…”

“Okuyasu?”

Koichi paused. “How’d you know?”

“Jotaro told me this morning.” He snapped a photo. “Too bad it wasn’t Josuke.”

“What… are you gonna help us or not?”

Rohan ignored Koichi, noticing a small but clean-cut patch of grass a few meters in front of him. Lowering his camera, he walked over to the patch and examined it. A circle of grass about 20 cm stood shorter than the rest, its flat tops indicating it was cut.

Koichi followed him, confused. “Rohan?”

“This grass looks recently cut, but everything around it is long and untrimmed.”

“Could it just be an animal?”

“Perhaps,” Rohan responded, pressing on and searching the surrounding area.

Just beyond the patch, a trail of circular foot/hoofprints sat in a pit of dried mud.

“Koichi, do deer have circular hoofprints?”

“Uh, not that I know of.”

Rohan snapped a photo of the prints and followed the trail, finding a small stream at its end. Beside the stream sat the remains of a still-smoking campfire and an iron pot. After examining the pot, Rohan found no branding and identification on it.

“Is it handmade?” Koichi asked.

“There’s no hammer marks or imperfections associated with home casting. I doubt it.”

A bush in front of them shifted, catching both of them off guard. Rohan stepped forward and peered into the bush.

Rohan whispered, “Koichi, is Okuyasu now about a meter high, covered in fur, and with a large adorable head?”

Koichi tipped next to Rohan. “Um, I think. How would you…”

Rohan put a finger to his mouth and shushed, lowering a branch with his other arm and pointing underneath a tree.

Koichi gasped. Ten meters in front of them sat a pony with pink-lavender fur and a curly purple mane. Its rounder head contrasted Okuyasu’s and was topped with a horn that glowed with a turquoise aura. A cup of tea and a sandwich full of grass levitated in front of it covered in the turquoise aura. “Is that… a Stand Us…”

Rohan covered Koichi’s mouth just as the pony glared at them. Turquoise auras covered them both and flung them against two separate trees.

The impact crushed Rohan’s back, causing him to cough up blood. Every bone in his body pressed into the bark and bruised his skin.

“Ro-ro… Rohan…” Koichi wheezed from five meters away as he reached toward Rohan.

“More test subjects, I see,” taunted a female voice as the pony stepped through the bushes. “I’ve been dying to try out this new ability of mine.”

She approached Koichi who trembled in fear. Rohan gasped for air as his chest pressed in. He whimpered “Koichi… Echoes…”.

The pony laughed and approached Koichi.

Echoes Act 3 manifested in front of Koichi, clapping its hands together and shouting “three freeze!” Then it pummeled the pony in a barrage of fists before backing up into a stance.

The pony smirked. “So your ability is to make things heavier, right?” The turquoise aura covered her body too without releasing its grip on Koichi and Rohan. “I’m surprised you thought making somepony with telekinesis heavier was a good idea.” She stepped toward Koichi, her legs shivering. “I can do this all day.”

Koichi froze in terror as a Stand appeared above the pony. Its colors and shape with the pony but with gems for eyes and joints. The pony stopped. “You can see it too?”

Koichi used the moment to launch Echoes at the figure, but the Stand dodged the attack and nailed Echoes in the side. Lines glowed all over Echoes and Koichi and turned to gashes, causing him to scream in pain.

“Koichi!” Rohan shouted as blood squirted out of the lines on Koichi.

“Silence!” the pony yelled at Rohan. She dashed over to Koichi and put a hoof to his mouth. “Shhh, it’ll only last for a second.” The Stand floated beside Koichi. “I don’t exactly know what it is. After a bit of thinking and experimentation, I’ve decided to call it Changes.”

The Stand struck Koichi, enveloping him in a turquoise aura. His flesh and bones shifted around as his body morphed into a pony much like the pink pony, his injuries disappearing too. Once the transformation finished, he fell to the ground and passed out from shock.

“Koichi!” Rohan shouted, squirming against the tree.

“Yes! I did it again!” the pony exclaimed, lifting her forehooves. “Last night wasn’t just a fluke! I can change the alchemical structure of anything I touch.”

Rohan took a mental note of her ability as the pony laughed.

“I can finally surpass Twilight and every unicorn before me!” She fell back to the ground and pointed her horn at Koichi. “Just let me seal you up real quick—”

“Oi!” Rohan shouted.

“Who said you could speak!” the pony turned and yelled back. “Maybe I can turn you into something else.”

Rohan smirked. A deer slammed into the pony’s side, sending her flying towards Rohan.

“Heaven’s Door!” Rohan shouted as she entered his range. She fell apart into a coil of pages and paper. Falling back to the ground as her aura dissipated, he lunged forward and wrote ‘cannot attack Rohan or Koichi’ onto her forehead. Standing back up, he took a deep breath. “It took a bit for the deer to get close enough behind me so I could use my Stand on it. Honestly, I’m lucky it came to me at all.”

“What’s happening to me?” the pony cried, unraveling into a spiral of paper.

He sighed and sifted through the pages peeling off of her skin. “Let’s see… your name is Starlight Glimmer… magic-wielding unicorn… student of ‘Twilight Sparkle’…”

Starlight squirmed in place. “How do you know that?”

He chuckled and skimmed the pages, looking for any references to Kira or his father. Unraveling her leg, he read on. “You were pierced by the Stand Arrow last night and—” he paused in shock “—were possessed by it to kill Josuke and Jotaro.”

A turquoise aura covered Heaven’s Door’s pen and swiped from its hand. The pen floated up to Starlight’s forehead and crossed out ‘cannot attack Rohan or Koichi.’ “You forgot to unravel my horn.”

“Shit,” Rohan muttered as he recalled Heaven’s Door and lunged toward Koichi.

Starlight stumbled to her hooves and activated her horn. Just as Rohan landed on the ponified Koichi, the turquoise aura covered his feet.

“Heaven’s Door!” Rohan shouted as Koichi’s side peeled off and he wrote ‘will fly forward at 100 km/hr.’

Grabbing on to Koichi, the two of them broke free of the aura and flew off into the distance. Rohan wrote ‘will land softly’ onto Koichi as they fell and rolled on the ground. Scurrying to his feet, he picked up the ponified Koichi and ran off into Morioh.

Koichi squirmed in Rohan’s arms as he woke. Rohan covered his eyes with a hand. “I hate to admit it—” he panted “—but I need Josuke to fix you.”