Cozy Glow was going crazy. She kept trying to get demerits from not eating properly to insulting children in front of their parents. But Twilight wouldn't turn her to stone. She wouldn't let her be "rewarded" for her actions.
She was in hell. Utter hell. She even tried to end her life on multiple occasions. 52. But the technology, Omniscient, seemed to be everywhere. Huge height? Spells of feather decent and padded ground. Knife? Magic whisked it out of her hooves. The young lady let out a sigh.
"Heh." Cozy Glow let out a single laugh as she laid on her stomach in the darkness of her room. Years ago she chose her house. She lived alone, and received no demerits. She went to that stupid School of Friendship so many times, she knew every square inch of every surface by heart. "Here's to thirteen years of hell."
"One demerit received."
Cozy Glow ignored Omni. She didn't mean to get a demerit so it gave her one.
"One year for me." Blueblood said, entering the room and laying on his back beside Cozy Glow. When he was released, he was angry. He soon became afraid when he saw ALL the statues. It cause him some trauma, and allowed him to keep his temper. "Got you a cupcake. Made it myself. Here's a box too." Blueblood set down a pink and blue box on Cozy's back.
"Thanks." Cozy Glow and Blueblood made most of their foods from scratch. It was the most freedom they could have with the food. "Is that a candle?"
"Happy Anniversary." Blueblood said.
"Thanks. Check the closet. Got a gift for you too."
Blueblood got up and trotted over to the closet. He pulled out a blue and white box. "Bet I can open this before you can."
"You're on!"
"One demerit received."
Cozy Glow flipped over, tossing her gift into the air. She quickly tore though it. She pulled out a dress out with a smug look. "Ha! Beat you!" she said, pulling the dress on over her head.
Blueblood frowned. "Da- Darn it." Blueblood swore, only halfway though his. He pulled out a black hoodie with a Trotters baseball cap. "Neat!" He quickly pulled on the hoodie and set the cap on his head.
"The hat has a hole for your horn." Cozy Glow quickly explained.
"One de-"
"I was helping him put on a hat by explaining it was crafted differently. It wasn't being racist." Cozy Glow said. This seemed to suffice Omni. "Now give me that cupcake."
"Hang on a second." Blueblood lit his horn and made a spark, lighting the candle.
Cozy Glow and Blueblood watched the candle slowly melt. A few minutes passed before Cozy Glow spoke. "Here goes." She took a deep breath. And blew out the candle.
"So, what you wish for?" Blueblood asked.
"That someone would come who could mess up Twilight." Cozy Glow answered.
"Good wish." Blueblood responded, nodding.
"One demerit received." Omni said. An explosion was suddenly felt throughout the land. Not an Earthquake. But an Explosion.
"What was that!?" the two asked in shock. "WHAT IS THAT!?" the two screamed, pointing to each other as a black cloud covered them.
*
MEANWHILE
*
A warship of absolutely massive size popped into existence, with a large amount of the latest tech. An American vessle, though not all the technology was American. One man steered the whole thing. Well, he was actually on deck. A bald, tall thin man in a suit and red tie.
"Where the f*ck am I?" Anonymous asked, scratching his head with a pistol. "I got a mobile Titan Class America War Cruiser, but I didn't think that Project-" A black cloud formed, dropping two weird things in front of Anon. He fired his gun, emitting a loud BLAM. "WHO ARE AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON AMERICAN SOIL!?"
Cozy Glow and Blueblood immediately raised their arms in surrender. "CELESTIA BLESS AMERICA!" Cozy shouted in panic.
"Sweet!" Anonymous shoved his pistol into it's holster. "I'm guessing Celestia's your god. Are you here to become an American citizen?"
Blueblood and Cozy Glow looked at each other in confusion, before turning to Anonymous. "What's Amareica?" Blueblood asked.
"Last I checked it was a country with it's Second Civil War. Which probably means... Eh, I'll explain later." Anonymous answered with a shrug.
"Another country!?" the two ponies asked in disbelief.
"Yeah?" Anonymous asked. "This here is mobile American territory for up to a hundred miles out in each direction. Dunno how that works though. I'm just a Private."
The two lowered their arms. "Do you have any laws against pizza toppings?" Cozy Glow asked.
"Hell naw! What crazy sort of law is that!?" Anonymous asked in shock.
"How do we become Amarerican citizens!?" the two asked eagerly, leaping to their hooves.
"I... don't actually know. I think it requires studying it's history and it's laws, then being given a quiz. I'm not gonna do that." Anonymous looked up at the sky. "A storm will be coming soon. We should get inside and find the kitchens. And maybe make a map because this thing is massive. I got a jar of dirt, so I could do something with that." Anonymous shrugged and removed his coat, putting it over Cozy Glow. He took off his dress shirt and draped it on Blueblood. This showed off two things. One, his skin tight t-shirt that read "Democracy and Jesus. They real good." Two, his fit, thin yet muscular, form of military training. "There. Makeshift blankets until we find the beds. I literally just got on the boat when it got here, so I have no idea where anything is."
"What exactly is this place?" Cozy Glow asked.
"One really big warship." Anonymous answered.
"Warship?" Cozy Glow asked. Slowly, thoughts of taking over the ship and using it to return the idea of war came to her head. It was an old feeling she missed. One that seemed to restore energy she didn't realize she was missing, seeping down to her bones.
"Guess I should explain." Anonymous said. "Okay. This is a mobile Titan Class America War Cruiser. Basically, well... America had some Territory they could set up in another country. To attack would be to claim war on America. This sort of thing was apparently not good enough for my current president, so he collected all the tax dollars and made this. He then drafted thousands, despite the fact there was no war. I think he wanted war, and was sending out folks like me as a flesh wave. Because I was sent to a training camp, lifted weights and learned how to obey orders and shoot a gun, then was sent to this top of the line ship to attack some highly dangerous place."
"That's awful!" Blueblood exclaimed.
"Yeah... Jokes on them, I got a ship now." Anon said with a laugh. "Now where's a map?"
*
*
*
Twilight saw something that didn't belong on her planet. A warship of absolutely massive size, like a island of death. She would not have it. Such broke the laws. Twilight let out a sad sigh. It looked like someone would be in stone for at least a year.
"I think we're lost."
"Yeah probably."
Anonymous, Cozy Glow, and Blueblood wondered the halls of the massive vessel. There were no maps of any sort. "Mister?" Cozy Glow asked softly.
"It's Anonymous." Anonymous answered.
"Anonymous?" Cozy Glow asked, scrunching her nose cutely in fake confusion.
"Anonymous." Anonymous answered with a nod.
Blueblood let out an annoyed grunt. "Look, Anonymous. There is no one else here. You don't need a classified name."
"It's not classified. It's Anonymous. I got in so much trouble with my teachers for a month in high school, because they thought I wasn't putting down my real name." Anonymous reached for his holster, changing the setting. He whipped out a short range blaster and shot at the hinges of a nearby vaulted door.
"HOLY CRAP!" The two equines jumped at the sudden movement and loud noises. They jolted as the door fell with a loud BANG.
Anonymous gave a nod and entered the room. "Dang. It's an armory."
"What the Tartarus is that!?" Cozy Glow questioned, pointing at Anonymous'es weapon.
"Captain's pistol. He told me to shine it for him. Looks like it's actually a Dio Gun K-12 edition. Kinda illegal." Anonymous looked around the armory. "Score! Blunderbuss galore!" Anonymous ran over to the guns. "Year 2400 and we still got these. The first design was perfect, I guess."
"What on Equus is a Blunderbuss?" Blueblood asked.
"Well-" Anonymous began, only to be cut off as the alarm lights turned on. "Enemy approaching! Get to the deck! Or whatever part it's called!"
The three quickly ran out of the halls, into the open. Anonymous pulled out a pair of binoculars. "Bogie inbound!"
"What's a bogie?" Cozy Glow asked.
"I have no idea. I was meant to be killed on the front lines so I was literally taught jacksquat about anything to save time. I just know how to shoot a gun." Anonymous answered. He ran up to a plane, opening it's hatching and turning it on. "According to the sonar or whatever this is, we got a bunch of drones incoming." Anonymous looked through the binoculars. "The f*ck?"
"One Demerit received. It is illeg-"
Anonymous shot his pistol up at the control deck. A grapple shot out of it and broke through the 3 foot thick bullet proof window. It caught on a chair and pulled Anonymous up. He rolled into the room, slamming his fist onto a series of random buttons. He looked at a screen and seemed satisfied. He took the chair and used it to slide down the grapple rope back down to the jet. "F*CK!"
Silence. Anonymous gave a fist pump. "What did you even just do!?" Cozy Glow questioned.
"I have no idea!" Anonymous answered. "Now then, you guys told me how terrible your Omni was, and I shut it up. At least here. I may have just blocked communication. Or activated shields."
Blueblood paled. "Twilight's peeved!" he shouted, turning around and diving beneath a jet. Anonymous grabbed Cozy Glow and threw her beneath the same jet.
A platoon of robot guards landed with a thud on the cement deck. Twilight landed with far more grace. She seemed to look angry. Her horn glowed, casting a spell at Anonymous.
"There goes freedom." Blueblood groaned as the spell made contact.
Anonymous stood as still as a statue, before inspecting himself. "What happened?" he asked, confused as to what the spell did.
Cozy Glow's and Blueblood's jaws dropped as Twilight stared in confusion. Her horn glowed again as she cast the stone spell. It did nothing. "I- How!? How are you not turning to stone!?"
"I'm sorry what did just say you were trying to do?" Anonymous asked.
Sorrow replaced the expression on Twilight's face. Before her was a human, a being whose world didn't accept peace at all, who summoned a whole island of war and destruction, who wasn't even effected by the stone spell used by an alicorn. Her horn glowed once more, now covered in shadows of smoke. "I'm sorry." she whispered. A black beam of destruction shot out of her horn, hitting the human full on.
"Now that was supposed to hurt." Anonymous said.
"Omni, teleport Blueblood and Cozy Glow back home." Twilight said. Nothing happened. "Omni?" No response. Twilight gave a nod to her robots. They began marching towards the jet the two were hiding under.
"No! I just got freedom! I'm not losing it!" Cozy Glow leaped to her hooves and began running towards the hatch, followed by Blueblood and the now running Robo Guards.
Anonymous glared. He ran at the robots, only to be physically held by Twilight. "I'm sorry." she said, holding a knife in her magic.
"Hell naw! Not tahday, tyrant!" Anonymous punch Twilight in the face, before shoving her back. The robots now all ran at him. He dodged one, grabbed another and swung it over his head, using it as a club. He kicked another guard in the face before slamming the one in his hands down on it. He grabbed Twilight's knife and threw it at a robot. It flew strait through the head. Anonymous wiggled out of the group and pulled out his pistol. He shot several guards to pieces, only for his gun to click with no ammo. "Surrender now!" Anonymous shouted. They refused. He grabbed the scrap pieces and threw them at speeds of 100 miles an hour, breaking all the robots. He was now 300 feet away from Twilight. He stood tall, bloody, and proud, with a shard in his left hand. "Get off my lawn!"
Twilight growled, now wielding a spear. "You and I both know you can't hit me from here." she shouted back. A shard of metal gave her a clean buzzcut.
"Baseball player, Beyatch! Minors!" Anonymous shouted.
Twilight looked at her remaining robots. "Retreat!" she shouted, trying to teleport. Her magic failed to do such a spell. She quickly took flight, her robots leaving with her. Anonymous continued to throw scrap metal at high speeds after her, until she was out of range.
Cozy Glow and Blueblood watched in amazement from the hatch. Anonymous faced them and gave them a thumbs up and a lopsided smile. "Who the crap did I just fight?"
"Uhh... The Empress of the World." Cozy Glow answered. "How did you do... any of that?"
Anonymous shrugged. "Back to exploring!"
*
LATER
*
Anonymous entered the captain's quarters, watching the two ponies play a CloneWars game in front of a flat screen. "So, how you guys enjo-"
"EAT LASER!" Cozy Glow screamed, making her Superdroid shoot at a clone trooper. "BUCK!" she shouted as Blueblood threw a grenade at her.
Anonymous chuckled. "Is the couple happy?"
Both players paused the game to glare at Anonymous. "Shut up!" Blueblood shouted.
"We're competing!" Cozy Glow growled. The two then turned back to continue playing, completely oblivious to what Anonymous just said.
Anonymous stared at the two. Despite fighting and arguing, they had on smiles of joy. He shrugged, finishing up with his bandages. He walked out of the room only to realize- "A fancy suit ain't a war uniform! What the heck!?"