Of Promises and Loss - Part 2

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Prog,
Please find attached a copy of my adapted personal records from the past few weeks, for your perusal and archival. I know I don’t need to say this, but please be careful with them. There’s a lot of personal information in here - and a lot of things we’d all rather forget.

In any case, there’s only one thing that happened before the first log here that you (or any reader) should know about: that I moved from Fillydelphia to Ponyville - just a week before the first entry in fact - to get away from everything and to start a new, peaceful life. The first of many things that didn’t quite go to plan.

Regards,
Cobalt

Thursday 5th of April 1001

Today was a good day. The weather team had done a good job making the sky spotless, so the sun shone down on Ponyville, and on the scores of ponies happily enjoying their day. I believe I was reading a book in my front garden when I noticed a teal earth pony mare regarding me rather intently from a distance. Naturally, being somewhat new to Ponyville, I walked up to her to introduce myself. Her look turned somewhat hostile as I approached.
“Yeah? What do you want, wavemane?” I believe she said, however it was at this point that an unfortunate aspect of my physiology, combined with the sun’s scorching heat, took effect. I passed out.

Fortunately I was only unconscious momentarily. The mare was still there when I awoke.
“Uhh...sorry about that...low blood pressure you see...” I apologised, before getting up and dusting myself off.
Her tone was sardonic, “Yeah. Wouldn't want to be the one to clean up the mess if you kicked the bucket on my street.” I wasn’t really sure how to respond to that.
“Uh...yeah, I suppose...well, hi, I guess!” I held out my hoof to her, “Cobalt Spark!”
Rather than the expected enthusiastic shake, she looked down at my hoof, nodded curtly and took a small step back. “What do you do here?” She asked in a neutral tone.
“Ah, I work in Fillydelphia. I'm an arcane engineer at MagiTek - I just saved up enough to afford to commute...what about you then?”
I retracted my hoof reluctantly. I was really trying my best to adhere to social protocol, which seemed to go appreciated by the other ponies in town, but she didn’t want to give me the time of day. A sharp contrast to the usual overt cheeriness of the inhabitants of Ponyville.
“I’m Ink. I’m a...I do work. Came here yesterday.” Her eyes darted around beneath her black mane. Before I could respond, she started walking slowly backwards. It was at that point that I noticed something odd - she had no cutie mark. She was at least 20, and still blank.
“I...I need to go...” she said, before disappearing behind the door of a nearby house.

For me, the whole encounter was jarring to say the least - but I tried not to let it affect me. I trotted down to the town centre to find some mid-morning refreshment. Eventually I found a café with an empty table, bought a slice of cake, and sat down there to eat it. With today’s weather, there were a number of other ponies sitting at a table behind me. Having nothing else to do, I listened in on their conversation.

Two ponies sat on the table: a tall grey unicorn stallion, and a smaller dark blue earth pony mare. They sat drinking wordlessly, until another mare’s voice broke the silence.
“There they are!” Two pegasi trotted towards the group: a grey mare with a striking blue and yellow mane, with a sort of cloud mark, and behind her a much taller stallion, with a dark brown coat and a wave of black hair atop his head, a blue trumpet adorning his flank.
“Yo!” The stallion called as he sat down. The earth pony flinched a little at the sound - fortunately the pegasus mare was there to comfort her.
“Hey, Nightshadow. Everything okay?” She said in a reassuring tone, but Nightshadow still seemed on edge.
“Oh...um...yes...” was all she could say as she sipped her drink.
“The letter sure didn’t make it seem that way...” the pegasus said, smiling.
The stallion chuckled in response, “Nightshadow - why y’always so jumpy?” He had a strong Manehattan accent.
Nightshadow looked nervously around, “Oh...um...force of habit I guess...”
“Y’shake worse then a drummer’s ride cymbal durin’ a swing,” he chuckled again. Of course, I had no clue what his analogy meant.
The scene was interrupted by the arrival of another pegasus - a blue mare, around my height, with a dark blonde mane loosely tied back. She was marked with a strange crooked line.
“Hello everypony!” She said as she approached the group.
Nightshadow almost jumped out of her skin, but the newcomer continued regardless, “Sure is nice seeing some familiar faces.”
“Yo, ‘ave we met?” The Manehattan pony said to her.
“I don’t think we have. Name’s Shatter.”
He and the other pegasus moved to sit either side of Nightshadow.
“Aight, good t’ meet cha’.” The stallion offered his hoof to Shatter, who bumped it with her own in greeting. “Name’s Brass Ballad - BB for short” Shatter then introduced herself to the mare, who identified herself as Prog.

Nightshadow looked nervously at the mare next to her, “So, um...how are you...?”
“What’s the matter, Night?” Prog replied, ignoring her question. Evidently the she saw through Nightshadow’s transparent façade.
“Um...nothing...I met somepony...” she said, smiling softly while staring into her drink.
Prog raised an eyebrow, “Oh? And who is this pony?”
“She is um...new...in Ponyville... Her name is Ink...she is, um....nice...”
Now that certainly got me interested. Both me and Nightshadow had only recently met Ink, but she had behaved very strangely towards me, while being ‘nice’ to her.
This is all very strange.
Prog smiled reassuringly, “Oh? Tell me about her.”
“I don’t, um...know much...just, um...we had tea...and she is kind of loud...”
Or maybe Ink behaved the same way to everypony after all.
“And does she like you? Tell me about her, Nightshadow!” Prog laughed, smiling broadly.
“Oh...um...” Nightshadow moved away a little, “I don’t know...”
The unicorn, who had previously remained silent, addressed the group, “I can leave you two alone, if you want.”
Prog looked up to him, “Oh no. You stay and hang a bit, Wolf. Besides - looks like we have a listener,” she said, looking in my direction. I just managed to resist the urge to bolt then and there, instead going back to my cake and pretending that I hadn’t heard anything.
“Hehe, alright then,” the unicorn replied.
Prog turned back to Nightshadow, “It’s fine, filly. I’m here for ya,” she smiled again.
Nightshadow continued to recount the events of the afternoon to Prog, while Shatter continued to talk with BB about his music.
There was a moment’s pause.

“This pony looks nervous,” Shatter intoned, “far more than most are. More than he should be.” She glanced in my direction, and I couldn’t help flinching.
Prog turned to Wolf, “So, has the listener said anything yet?” I stared down at the table, my ears burning up, knowing the inevitable conclusion to this encounter. “Nope,” I could hear Wolf’s reply.
I briefly looked up, to find Prog looking straight at me. “Do you mind? I can say something if you like.” Her eyes felt like they were boring into my skull, despite her smile.
Well, now there’s no excuse not to speak. “Oh...er...hello...Were you talking to me?”
Maybe some other pony will appear beside me and take up the gauntlet?
“Of course darling. You seemed quite intrigued by the conversation. Why don't you come sit with us?”
No such luck.

Prog smiled softly as I slowly got out of my seat. My limbs felt like lead jelly. I nervously tried to defend my actions; “Oh, well, this is a public place...I'm sure everypony could hear you...If you insist, I guess...” I said, managing to muster a weak smile towards the group.
Prog regarded me as I sat down, “So what’s your name, little colt?” Her use of that particular form of address did nothing to ease my tension.
“It’s Cobalt Spark,” I hesitantly replied, tensing a little as I followed up; “And...who might you all be?” Of course, by now I knew all their names, but I still didn’t want to admit I had been eavesdropping. Plus, it would be terribly impolite not to ask.
Prog smiled softly again, “Name’s Prog. Nice to meet you.” She was really trying hard, but I was still terrified of the lot of them.
Then Shatter spoke up. “Name’s Shatter,” she said, “I hardly know any of these ponies.” For some reason, her demeanour seemed to relax me somewhat. Maybe it was because she was new in town as well.
“Oh...well...nice to meet you too!” I replied, much more enthusiastically than before.
Prog nudged BB out of his daydream, “Yo, name’s Brass Ballad,” he said with a confident smile.
Social protocol took over. “Ah, hello there!” I said, thrusting my hoof out towards him.
He shook it firmly, “Y’don’t recognise me, do ya?”
Oh shit - am I supposed to recognise him? Is he the mayor or something - or even some national celebrity? Please don’t tell me I mortally offended somepony within seconds of meeting them...
“Oh...no, I'm sorry, I only moved in last week...”
Shatter spoke up again, “I'd say you've been here fully longer than me, to be honest.” This time however, her words only caused me to tense up again. She seemed to know everypony and had been here for less time than me.
“What is with these ponies...” he mumbled under his breath, before switching back to a confident smile. “A' play in the jazz combo, Lonely Midnight, y'know, best jazz combo this side of Equestria?”
Nope. Not a clue.
“Yeah...I...don't go out much...work, you see...” I tried to smile. It didn’t work.
“I heard that,” Prog laughed.
“Well y'still got a radio right?”
Shit, he’s right! I am officially screwed.
“Ah...well, I never really know what artist I'm listening to...” At least that wasn’t a lie. It will do.
BB shrugged, “Makes sense a’ guess.”
I was somewhat relieved that he chose not to enquire further.

Shatter turned to me once more, “So what sort of work do you do, Cobalt?”
Is she actually...?
“I work at MagiTek, arcane engineer. I have lots of...projects I like to work on at home.”
“Projects.” Even I got the implied question.
“Well, it's all very involved. I wouldn't want to bore you with the details...” I think I had a slightly sly expression.
“You're looking slightly hopeful that I'll contradict you. I think you would like to bore me with the details.” She read me like a book, which was a little embarrassing, but still, I’m sure my eyes lit up at that moment.
“Well...if you really want...” I replied, being careful not to sound too eager.
“I'm currently working on the P-cubed project, that's 'Passive Pony Power' - we're trying to drive small devices using only ponies’ natural magical aura rather than having to be charged by unicorn magic. It's really the arcane scientists who do the actual research, but they need engineers to actually make it useful in the real world, and to support them in general.”
Is she still interested? Most ponies drifted off by this point...
“Curious.” She replied simply. Was that interest or boredom?
“You said ‘projects’. Is there another one?”
I began to launch into another tirade. “Well...”
Oh...shit! Much as I hated it, I had to change the subject immediately.
“There's...other things....but they're really not interesting at all. Quite boring actually. Paperwork. Lots of that, as we all know...” I did feel slightly sad that I couldn’t tell her anything.
“I know all about paperwork, believe me,” Shatter laughed. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that.
“Oh...I see....then you'll know that it's very boring and certainly not worth discussion here...” I prayed (metaphorically) that she wouldn’t inquire further.

“Say, where did everypony go?” I looked quickly around. I hadn’t noticed that two ponies had already left.
Maybe I’ve bored them too much already.
“Prog an’ Nightshadow went t’the spa,” BB answered.
“Hm. The spa. I've never had good experiences with spas.” Shatter had a plain-spoken, but inquisitive manner. I rather liked it.
“Me neither,” BB chuckled, “Place is full ‘a stiffs.” He said as he took a sip from some alcoholic drink in his hoof.
“Well, of course they are!” Shatter replied jovially.
Wait...am I a stiff? Of course not. I don’t go to spas.
“Heh...I never feel comfortable having other ponies around me like that...” I said softly.
Shatter smiled, “Why would you pay for a massage unless you were quite, quite stiff?”
I had no idea what she meant.
“Yeah, you get it,” BB chuckled. Unfortunately, I did not.
Suddenly, I had a moment of clarity. (1)
“Oh! Haha! I see!” Around ten seconds too late. I felt rather sheepish.
“Place is full 'a people who'r too caught up doin' what they hate fr' stuff they don' need. It’s stupid.”
Well then, I’m certainly not a stiff! I love my job!
Shatter looked thoughtful, “Last time I tried going to the spa...Well, let’s just say that it ended really poorly.” She leaned back, “they had to close for at least a few days to clean up and get their PR back on track.”
BB interrupted my intense curiosity. “Aight, it was good meetin' y'all, but a' gotta go.” He stood up to leave.
“Okay, see you!” Shatter called out as BB flew away.
“Oh! Goodbye!” I meekly attempted to copy Shatter, then sank back into my seat.

Now it was just me and Shatter sitting at the table.
“So, Cobalt.” I looked up to face her. “Are you okay?”
“Okay? Oh, I'm fine! Brilliant! Couldn't be better!” I smiled broadly, but I don’t think she believed me. She looked at me curiously.
“Come on! I’m hungry!” Shatter leapt out of her seat and into the restaurant proper.
“Oh, okay!” Not knowing what else to do, I followed her like a lost dog.
She walked up to the counter. “Hello. I would like some food. Surprise me.”
Surprise me?! Who in their right mind doesn’t want to know what food they’ll be eating and paying for?(2)
“Oh, don't surprise me, please,” I affirmed, “I'll have grass and bread...not on the bread, by the side. And no sauce. Thank you.”
Nothing wrong with that. A nice, simple meal.
For some reason, Shatter decided to pay for both our meals. I guess I felt a little guilty, knowing that I have more money than I know what to do with, but the gesture still meant a lot to me.
“Oh, thank you!” I said as we both walked back to our table with the food.
“No problem.”

Shatter had been given a curry sandwich. She took a large bite of it, before panting a little while she ate.
“You know, this is really spicy,” she said with a full mouth.
This is why I never say ‘surprise me’. “It looks it...”
I levitated a pinch of grass and a chunk of bread, eating them together.
She suddenly got up, mid mouthful.
“Where are you going?” She ignored my question, moving quickly to the counter, but retaining a calm manner.
“Could I have some water please?” Even I could tell she was in pain.
I called out to her, “Milk will soothe your mouth more than water,”
“Milk then,” she said. I smiled, knowing that I’d helped her, even in this small capacity.
I could hear the cashier talking loudly, “Milk? Those poor, poor cows. How barbaric!”

Shatter returned shortly with a glass of milk balanced on her head.
“These vegans...” She took a sip from the glass.
“So, they think it’s barbaric, yet they stock it anyway...?” Yet another aspect of society to confuse and frighten me.
Shatter seemed to be happy enough though. “I haven't had this stuff in years!” She said, smiling. “I can't really drink too much though...Anyway, how is your bread?”
“Oh, it's excellent, thank you! Most of the cafes here put a load of...other things in it...I really just like the bread and grass,” I replied. Never were truer words spoken.
To my (pleasant) surprise, she nodded. “A stallion of simplicity, eh?” She said as she took the last bite of her sandwich.
Wait...no sidelong glances? No incessant questioning?
“Well...you could say that...” I smiled nervously, “Most people just think I’m strange.” Never were truer words spoken...

I had finished my meal by this point, and much as I hated to, I needed to get back home.
“Well, thank you very much...I...enjoyed spending time with you,” I said, standing up.
“I hope to see you around,” Shatter replied. She remained seated, looking contemplative.
I guess it was then that the full reality of the situation hit me. A mare has just bought me lunch. A mare who seemed to enjoy my conversation, and didn’t appear to mind my...quirks.
She...isn’t unattractive either.
But what if...no. I think I’ll see how this pans out.
I couldn’t help looking back over my shoulder as I walked slowly home.

(1) It’s a pun. Two meanings of the word ‘stiff’; the way BB uses it (which I still don’t fully understand) and...something else.
(2) In case anypony was curious, I later learned that this was due to an obscure delight in taking unnecessary risks.