Expansion Erotics and Magical Maladies

It was a pleasant evening in the small resort town of Saddleborough, located in the Grittish Isles. A light sea breeze blew in from the harbour, where a few pleasure vessels and fishing boats docked side by side, lightly rolling on the waves that lapped against the piers. The cawing of seagulls whooped and cheered, the volume of them rising and falling akin to the waves lapping in and out on the sandy shore. Celestia’s sun hung low in the sky, casting a wonderful orange light across the town, reflecting off the water as locals and tourists pottered around, enjoying themselves in the last moments before sundown.

Fillies and colts giggled as they splashed in the sand and water, their sticks of rock candy laying on beach towels or held by their parents, covered in various pieces of holiday paraphernalia. Restaurants had influxes of hungry ponies, looking to get a pleasant evening meal at the many assorted places. Many of them sat outside to enjoy their drinks and food, sitting on balconies or gardens, enjoying the variety of dishes available.

However, one group was currently not tucking into any sort of meal, waiting patiently at an eatery adorned with a large wooden sign, proudly proclaiming ‘Ancient Mariner Fish Bar’. The group consisted of a number of mares, and one young dragon, currently sat around a circular table. Sipping at various drinks, occasionally glancing at their laminated menu’s, they were killing time, waiting for the arrival of one of their group.

“Oh, come on, how the hay is she late! I don’t think it’s possible for her to be off schedule!” A huffing blue Pegasus sat in her chair, forelegs crossed in a huff, her rear legs tapping at the wooden decking beneath her.

“Ah, don’t ya worry sugarcube, I’m sure she’ll be here any minute now… though ah do admit it is odd for her to be this late.” An orange Earth Pony, gradually making her way through a large pint glass, filled with bubbling cider. “’sides, we haven’t talked about what everypony else did today… well, except you Rainbow.”

“Of course, I’d tell everypony about how I thrashed you at volleyball, swimming races and surfing!” Rainbow gloated, a smirk forming on Applejack’s mouth.

“Yeah... but did you also tell them how ah whooped ya at the strongmare contest, wrestling and ma team beat ya in water polo.” Rainbow’s smile shrank a little at her friends’ words.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I just loved checking out all the darling little shops across the promenade. I admit, some of them were a little tacky, but some of those shops had such unique ideas! Enough I dare say to start an entire new line of dresses at the boutique!” An alabaster coloured unicorn piped up, managing to prevent Rainbow and Applejack from bickering about athletics. “I must say, but those swimsuits they have here are simply delightful, I’ll have to make my own… say Fluttershy, you wouldn’t mind trying on some later on?” The unicorn glanced across at a butter coloured Pegasus, currently half obscured by her menu.

“If you want, I’d be happy to help.”

“I’d love that dear. Say… what did you do Fluttershy, I haven’t seen hide, nor hair of you since the morning?” Fluttershy blushed in return awkwardly flicking the pages idly with her hooves.

“They have such a nice Aquarium here. They had so many types of fish and other sea life I couldn’t help but watch them all day… sorry, if you were worried or anything…” She hastily added at the end, Rarity giving her a warm smile at the end.

“Oh, that’s quite alright. As long as you had something you enjoyed doing, I’m quite alright with it.”

“Oooooh… oooooh, can you guess what I did today?” The last pony, a pink earth pony with a cotton candy like mane piped up, a wide grin plastered across her muzzle.

“Nope. Haven’t got a clue Pinkie.” Rainbow deadpanned, waiting for the mass of random activities she went and got up to.

“Hehe, well for starters I went and had a look at all the different party supply shops, to see if they had any special, amazing stuff I didn’t know about.”

“And?” Applejack questioned.

“Nothing new. So then after that, I went around and had a look at all the sweet shops they had. I swear they have some of the weirdest candy I’ve ever seen. Then I had a boat ride to the carnival on the pier, spent about three hours, twenty seven minutes riding all the rides, plus a few repeat rides, plus getting snacks, then I had a nice walk all the way here!”

“Huh… that’s pretty good Pinkie!” A more male sounding voice piped up, coming from the drake, who was busy working his way through a glass of cola.

“And what did my little Spikey Wikey get up to today?”

Spike shrugged, placing a small stuffed toy on the table from a tiny bag he carried. “I kinda blew loads of money on the arcades. I tell you; those claw machines are a scam, they eat bits like noponies business! I spent 30 bits on play tokens, and all I got was this crummy knockoff Power ponies plush.” He grumbled, tapping a claw against the wood of the table.

“Aww… I’m sorry to hear that Spikey…” Rarity gave him a sympathetic look, placing a hoof on his hand, causing the dragon to perk up slightly.

“Yeah, I should have stayed with Twilight, at least I wouldn’t have wasted all my bits. Speaking of Twilight, where in Celestia’s name is she? I’m pretty hungry for some fish and chips right about now.” As if by (figurative) magic, a sudden staccato of hooves pounding on cobbles drew their attention towards the noise. Darting between tables and patrons alike, a purple alicorn suddenly appeared, her head whipping left and right, until she caught sight of her friends.

Skidding to a halt by the table, the six were left looking at the mare, sweat rolling down her face, body and legs, her wing unfurled slightly and hanging limply by her side. Slung across her was a pair of saddlebags, large rectangular bulges betraying their hidden cargo. Panting, she wrapped the bags in her magical aura, before lifting them off, dumping them on the table, before plopping herself on her rump on the free seat.

“So, Twilight, we were just talking about you. Do you mind telling us where you’ve been all time, we were getting a bit worried?” Rarity finally broke the white noise of the alicorn's heavy breathing. Nodding slowly, Twilight cleared her throat, flipping open the saddlebags.

“I… phew… was just looking around some of the shops after checking out the local museum… and there was this little antique bookstore, and you know what I’m like with books?” Several murmurs of confirmation, some more sarcastic than others. “Well, this had some of the most amazing finds I’ve ever seen… Everything from rare spell books, to very niche historical topics, to some really interesting psychology books.”

“So, lemme get this straight. You’re late because ya found some real good books?” Applejack piped up, her expression halfway between amused and annoyed.

“Hehe… yeah. Sorry everypony, I just let time slip by me. But I guarantee you it was worth it; I mean just look at this one!” From the bags, she pulled up a leather-bound tome, the edges partially dog-eared and the paper having turned a rather interesting shade of yellow-brown. In bold black lettering, was the title ‘Experimentals, a collection of miscellaneous spells for indeterminate purposes.’

“Yes, Twilight, it looks very fascinating, but what exactly is worth it about that smelly old book?” Rarity questioned, giving the ancient, neglected piece a similar look to the one reserved for detritus on the bottom of her hoof.

“You see, it has some amazing spells in here. You know that one time that we got sucked into Spikes comic, right? Well, there is one listed that has very similar properties.” Quickly she flipped to the page, holding the spell book aloft in her magic as she re-read the text. At the same time, a few brave individuals at the table decided to have a look at the alicorns' other purchases. Most were, what Rainbow Dash would call, a ‘Snorefest’. Very specialised books about very specialised topics that went into mind numbing detail about things like ‘Early industrial mechanical development’ and ‘Piddocks, boring or hiding something more?’.

“Hey Twilight, what’s this one?” Pinkie grabbed a book that was in slightly better condition, though better was something of a stretch. It was relatively better looking, even with the ragged spine and washed out cover, entitled ‘Expansion, everything you wanted to know about fetishising large equines.’ . Twilight looked up at the book, half acknowledging it, before her eyes shot open. A sudden wave of panic shot through her, as she attempted to hide it.

Instead, with her horn already lit and the fact she mind had been committed to learning the spell. Her reaction was one of pure instinct, as she let off a sudden burst of magic, slamming into the book Pinkie has been innocently holding up. The party mare recoiled back from the shot, dropping the tome into the centre of the table.

“Twilight! What the hay was that!” Rainbow shouted out. “Pinkie only asked a question!”

“I… I’m sorry. I’m exhausted from having to book it over here, and… what is it Fluttershy?” Twilight watched as the buttery mare pointed at the book, which had flipped over onto its back. It opened, emitting a bright white light that near blinded the group as they shielded their eyes the best they could. Other patrons were looking around, if they hadn’t already been disturbed by the shouting, watching as the intensity of the streams of light grew. Suddenly, the six ponies and one drake found a socket wrenchingly strong pull exacted upon them.

Like a black hole, except it wasn’t black and light was indeed escaping from it, it began to drag them into the leather and paper confines of the hardback, each letting out a mix of cries of distress and surprise as against their will, one by one they vanished. Spike first, followed by Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack. Rarity screamed bloody murder as she was enveloped, a more muted response coming from Fluttershy. Pumping her wings, Twilight was the last one to leave the Ancient Mariner Fish Bar, tumbling head over fetlock as her body was sucked into the white void. With a sound that like a bubble popping, the glow stopped, now replaced by text and illustrations, illustrations that looked very familiar.

As patrons and staff gathered around in a panic, they were blissfully unaware of what was occurring within the pages of that softly glowing book.