A Reticent Motherhood

by Barbarity

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Twilight Velvet, Princess Celestia, Sunset Shimmer, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Sad
Length: 7240

Celestia, in trying to comfort a dying newborn, gets thrust into motherhood.

Celestia has ruled over Equestria for centuries since Luna's banishment. Solitary rule has compelled her to place the country's needs above her own. With no end to the monotony that is her life, she gets stuck in a bout of apathy.

One evening, she finds herself looking after a newborn on the verge of death. In saving the filly, Celestia is thrust into a role she never expected to fill in her entire life: motherhood. Will this foal be able to move Celestia's tired, cold heart?

Special thanks to B_25 for encouraging me to write.

Warnings: death of a redmane, implied infanticide.

Published 2021-08-15 04:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-24 05:22:39 UTC

Chapter 1: The Morning After

Celestia woke up for the second time in that morning and somehow felt both slightly energetic and emotionally spent. The soft snoring from the foal next to her warded off the ringing that often hounded her ears.

As she meditated in relative silence, she recognized that the reason for her prior outburst was obvious. The last fourteen hours had been an emotional roller coaster that came to a head when she woke up in a confused haze. At that time, the finality of her actions dawned on her when she saw the filly next to her and remembered the five stone orbs.

I'll never be able to wield them myself again.

She'd held onto the hope of using the Elements of Harmony to rescue her sister from her imprisonment, but a part of her always knew she couldn't wield them to that end. Now that the option was taken from her, Celestia felt like she'd lost Luna all over again. Moreover, the safety of Equestria was now uncertain. She would need to figure out a way to go forward without the Elements.

No small amount of her earlier distress came from the infant herself. She hadn't expected the filly to somehow leave the incubator and make her way to the bed. In addition, seeing the filly... drink straight from the tap, as it were, was genuinely shocking to her. Celestia couldn't fault the newborn for acting on instinct. Still, she felt like her own body betrayed her by deciding to grant the foal's request.

She didn't even know such a thing could happen!

She kept recalling the events of the previous night as she studied the baby unicorn sleeping by her side. The umbilical stump on the filly's navel rose and fell in a steady rhythm while the infant occasionally kicked a rear hoof.

This filly caught her attention in a way she couldn't fully understand. Her eyes had held a fire behind them that her then-fading body couldn't suppress. Like how the last rays of daylight attest to the fact that the sun never stops shining—even when it sits fully below the horizon.

Sunset Shimmer.

Celestia felt that the name the hospital administrator was going to assign the filly was inadequate for her. So much so that she suggested that name on the spot. She was glad she did.

Looking closer at the baby filly, she now seemed a bit on the larger size for a newborn. She looked to be about as big as a month-old foal. Her mane and tail were no longer a single shade of red, but now had an equal amount of gold strands as a testament to the life force freely-given to her by the phoenix. Celestia thought that Sunset's new mane color suited her very well.

Soon enough, the welfare of the foal would be another mare's problem. Perhaps she would find a way to keep tabs on her as she grew up. Right now, she had matters to attend to.

Getting up out of bed slowly, so as not to rouse the sleeping newborn, Celestia walked over to her writing desk. Celestia looked over the topmost documents as she sat down. A calculating look with slightly pinched eyebrows gave way to a dumbfounded expression. A headache started to make its way to the region below her horn while she pored over the rest of the papers in front of her.

Of the lengthy list of mistakes she'd made in her long life this most recent one had to take the cake. Even Luna, for all her faults, knew better than to sign paperwork en masse.

In her haste to bring baby Sunset to the palace, she claimed permanent—not temporary—guardianship over the foal. As if that wasn't enough, the signing spell saw fit to place her royal signature on every field that was meant to be signed by a government official. For all intents and purposes, she was staring at royal edicts.

A bit of trepidation came over Celestia as she contemplated the ramifications of the magically binding documents. She could not annul these without bringing undue attention to the situation and could set in motion a series of legal and political battles she had no appetite to fight. More importantly, the infant would need to be cared after by somepony.

Celestia froze in fear for the first time in a long while as understanding dawned on her.

She was now responsible for the life of a foal.

In truth, she was familiar with making decisions that affected the lives of many, but this felt different. Perhaps trading the safety and security given by the Elements of Harmony placed a greater weight in her mind for the life of the unicorn filly. Or maybe the personal nature of the matter was what made it feel more important.

Regardless of the cause, Celestia couldn't help but worry for the baby. She'd never been a mother and didn't know anything about foal care. The little knowledge she had came from the post-discharge instructions provided by the hospital.

What if, in her ignorance, she hurt the little filly? She knew that a foal should never be shaken and vaguely remembered that they shouldn't be handled with telekinesis at all unless it was absolutely necessary, but that was the extent of her knowledge.

Adding to that, Celestia would not be able to watch over the filly all the time. She couldn't double down on her hooves-off approach to ruling the kingdom to get more time to herself. While this worked for her before, there was a limit to the amount of work she could defer before she caused real harm to Equestria. She'd been skirting that limit as of late. She would have to hire professional help.

I'll need to start hiring hoofmaids again. Celestia thought as a shudder made its way from her spine to the tips of her wings.

Hoofmaids were invaluable allies to Celestia, but they were a double-edged sword. While the ladies-in-waiting catered to her every whim and were a boon in her court, they had a penchant for causing drama in all parts of the palace. Their mere presence would cause the palace's gossip mill to go into overdrive.

Worst of all, they could be quite overeager when tending to their mistress. They would brush her mane and tail like excited schoolfillies with a prized toy. No part of her body was safe from them, be it hooves, horn, wings, or coat.

Celestia couldn't help but remember the voices that haunted her darkest memories.

"Oh your hair looks beautiful."

"Spectacular!"

"Your wings are sooo pretty!"

"Let's fly to the c—"

Celestia was brought back to the present when she heard unfamiliar noises behind her. Startled, she quickly turned back to look at the baby lying on her bed and melted in relief at the sight.

Sunset was awake and giggling as Philomena used her primary feathers to tickle her, cooing at the newborn. The bird hopped to and fro, getting within reach of the filly for only the briefest of moments between skirmishes. Celestia watched enthralled as the tips of red feathers stroked the amber belly until—

"Hic... hic... burp... bleeeaaaauurghhh."

Philomena gave Celestia a sheepish look before shamefully flying out of the bedchamber. The alicorn, for her part, was too flabbergasted to notice her old friend's escape.

She couldn't help but wonder how such a small thing could expel so much... yoghurt.

The princess absolutely did not entertain the stray thought that most of the aforementioned dairy product somehow originated from her regal body. She definitely wasn't feeling a hint of disappointment at having her hard work spilt so suddenly. She most certainly didn't give in to the urge to paint her rug to match her bedsheets either.

Nope.

Strangest of all, the amber filly seemed unfazed from losing her breakfast. She cocked her head at the window that the phoenix used to exit the room before meeting her caretaker's gaze. Sunset's teal eyes made Celestia's heart skip a beat; images of a young Luna leapt to the front of her mind.

The tenuous peace that permeated the bedchamber was shattered by crying from the infant.

Sigh. "Wonderful." Celestia said to herself.

Celestia walked into her bathroom cradling a wiped-down, refed, and slightly placated Sunset. One look at the unkempt alicorn in the mirror made her realize that they both desperately needed a bath. It was surprising how exhausting taking care of a little pony could be.

For once, Celestia was glad to have an inordinately large selection of bath products. She had no trouble finding a shampoo suitable for a foal. Next, she filled up her large tub with warm water. Realizing her mistake, she drained it down to fetlock level before stepping inside.

Celestia could feel the foal in her forehoof getting antsy. She remembered how much Luna hated baths when they were foals and sent a silent prayer to Harmony for Sunset not to be the same.

Frankly, she had no energy left from trying to get Sunset to drink the baby formula earlier. She somehow knew the foal would only deign to drink the genuine product. In the end, Celestia relented and nursed the foal again.

Celestia still wondered how her body could do that, having never been pregnant.

Pushing the disgusting thoughts aside, she sat down on the tub, locked eyes with the fussy newborn, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay. Trying out new things can be a scary thing, but bathing is quite fun. Here."

Celestia scooped up a bit of water with her magic and let it drop down her own mane, careful not to startle the timid foal. This seemed to have the intended effect on Sunset.

Oh thank Harmony. She thought as she breathed a sigh of relief. Satisfied, she sat the unicorn down gently in front of her.

Celestia could swear she saw the foal's pupils dilate and shimmer with delight the moment she made contact with the water.

She had no words to describe the magic taking place in front of her. Here, in this bathtub, no worries for the future proded her mind. The ringing that tormented her ears seemed to be a distant memory of a previous life. The weariness in her bones melted at the sight of those teal eyes.

In an instant, Celestia was taken over by instinct and lowered the rest of her body to be at eye level with Sunset.

"I'm glad you like it, my little sunbeam." She said as she nuzzled the infant.

Celestia would never forget the sight in front of her as long as she lived.

She spent the next few minutes lathering up and rinsing Sunset and herself. The foal seemed to take joy in every aspect of the activity. In turn, Celestia took delight in watching the filly flap her hooves about the water.

Eventually bath time came to an end. Celestia didn't want to stop, but yielded when she saw the infant give a wide yawn that exposed her itty-bitty tongue. By the time Celestia dried both of them and walked off the bathroom, the foal was fast asleep in her forehoof.

Elated and satisfied with her work, Celestia laid Sunset down on the newly-cleaned bed. She walked over to the incubator and opened the cabinet attached to it. As she went through its contents, she realized she was out of diapers.

Oh no.

Author's Note

Here's some art of my own:

Thoughts, comments, and criticisms are appreciated.

I'll be updating every other week on Thursday nights.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 2: A Chance Encounter

The bedchambers were filled with a precarious atmosphere as Celestia stood in front of the foal lying on the bed.

Philomena shot intermittent glances at Celestia from her perch before hiding her face back under her wing. Her talons were gouging into the wood from her stiff grip.

One more.

Celestia's eyes were set intently on the task in front of her as her tongue threatened to poke out the side of her mouth. A drop of sweat slid dangerously close to her eye before making its way to the floor.

Getting there.

Baby Sunset looked curiously at the funny faces her guardian was making above her.

This went on for several minutes as Celestia made use of her magic, hooves, and, occasionally, teeth to manipulate the work-in-progress.

"The rabbit goes under the tree and comes up the hole..."

She felt her heartbeat pounding on her hooves.

Click.

"There!" Celestia announced.

She beheld the mass of linen scraps and safety pins attached to the newborn and felt equal amounts of shame and pride. It definitely wasn't pretty, but it would do the job just fine.

The homemade diaper continued to do its job just fine for all of ten seconds before sliding off Sunset when she rolled onto her belly.

Celestia held her expression calm until she planted her forehead on the edge of the bed and gave an exasperated sigh. She hadn't eaten breakfast yet and she wasted the remainder of her morning trying to make cloth diapers for the baby filly.

The first attempt was too small and the second was too large. The third was missing a hole for the pony's tail. When she corrected that mistake she rendered it useless after she cut the hole too low on the diaper. After she got a feel for their proper shape and they stopped disintegrating after light use, she learned the hard way that they weren't sufficiently absorbent.

She'd lately been wanting to replace her rug anyway.

Her inability to craft makeshift diapers wasn't the only aggravating issue in this situation. She'd been told by one of her maids that the palace didn't stock diapers because there was no nursery for foals of staff members. Apparently, the palace nursery that used to exist was closed sometime since the turn of the century.

A golden aura enveloped the "diaper" before it was ejected toward an embarrassingly tall pile of linen scraps.

Celestia was particularly troubled by the conduct of her staff. She had runners sent to fetch diapers at three separate times and none of them came back. They all seemingly decided to play hooky.

How long has the palace been such a mess?

Celestia contemplated starting another attempt when she suddenly let out a wail and was nearly knocked out by massive wave of electricity that emanated from her head toward the rest of her body. Her body jerked back two hoofsteps before she could register what was happening.

After blinking away the smell of ozone in her vision and spitting out the stars swimming in her tongue, Celestia heard the cries of the baby foal and rushed to her aid. Powering through the pain in her horn, she cast a diagnostic spell that relayed that the filly was only startled.

Relieved that Sunset was okay, Celestia took stock of herself. She used her hoof to delicately touch her tender horn and noted that it was partially soaked in a slimy, mostly-clear, whitish fluid. After a moment of confusion, she realized what had happened.

Saliva.

Twilight Velvet was browsing the baby clothes at the supermarket for the fourth time this week. She'd only been pregnant for less than a month but she couldn't help herself in her excitement. She was going to have a little pony of her own.

She was going to be a mother.

The good news couldn't have been more welcome. Twilight and Night had been trying for years to get pregnant. Twilight was starting to worry that there was something wrong with her body, despite assurances to the contrary from her physicians.

Eventually, any small remark about foaling, nursing, or pregnancy reminded Twilight of her failure as a mare. Friends and relatives her age were having their own foals while she waited in silence. Her parents and in-laws would "suggest" that they start having foals. The mere memory of the interactions sent a spike of pain to her heart and tears to her eyes.

"When are we going to have grandfoals?"

"You should get on with it and make us grandparents."

The worst offender was her mother-in-law, who asked her the most painful question.

"Why aren't you trying to get pregnant?"

They stopped visiting her in-laws for Hearth's Warming after that year.

Twilight reminded herself that all of that was behind them now. She didn't have to avoid her married friends anymore. She didn't have to look away from the baby section of the store. The aisles she used to steer away from now gave her a sense of elation for the future to come. She would have a foal soon; she might even bear a second one later on, perhaps even a third.

Warmth filled her body as she imagined her bundle of joy wearing the little red onesie in front of her. In her excitement, she started hopping about the aisle.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Y—oof."

Twilight Velvet was brought back to Equestria from cloud nine when she tripped a unicorn mare she had unwittingly cornered with her prancing. The mare examined her hooves and her pinkish-white coat in a short bout of panic before sighing in relief.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" Twilight asked as she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"I'm really sorry about that. I've been a bit distracted lately. My name's Twilight Velvet." She reached out with a hoof to help her up.

"Sunny Disposition." She replied as she got back up.

Twilight noticed that this mare had a variety of foal-care items in her cart.

"Nice to meet you Sunny. Soooo. Colt or filly?" She asked Sunny.

"Pardon?"

"Your baby. I don't suppose those diapers are for you." Twilight responded and pointed a hoof to Sunny's cart.

"She's a filly." Sunny replied with a modest smile.

"Oooh. Do you have a picture of her?" Twilight asked excitedly.

"Um, no. I haven't taken any of her."

Twilight was about to respond before she realized what Sunny said. She didn't say that she didn't have pictures on her. She said she'd never taken pictures of her filly.

What kind of mother doesn't take pictures of her baby?

"Is something wrong?" Sunny asked with nervousness creeping into her eyes.

"You... haven't taken pictures of your own foal?" Twilight asked, unable to hide the shock in her voice.

"I... haven't had the time?" Sunny replied to Twilight. Realizing that her answer was inadequate, she tried to elaborate. "She... I... I wasn't supposed to... It all happened so—oof" Sunny had the air forced out of her lungs by a hug from Twilight.

"Shhh. It's okay, I understand. It's gonna be alright." Twilight said in a soothing tone.

Twilight felt Sunny stiffen from the contact but didn't let go of her. She felt a potent warmth as Sunny's coat was enveloped by a full-body flush. Twilight could feel Sunny soften under her embrace and, soon enough, she could hear her fighting a sniffle.

This poor mare. She thought, before mentally chastising herself for upsetting Sunny.

After breaking the adequately long hug, Twilight looked up toward Sunny's eyes and froze in shock at the mare in front of her.

"Oh my Celestia!" She said before fainting.

Author's Note

Got a short (but hopefully sweet) chapter this time around.

Comments, suggestions, and constructive criticism are welcome.

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: Revelation

Twilight Velvet woke up surrounded by several concerned faces. The closest one of them belonged to an earth pony wearing a supermarket worker vest.

"Are you okay ma'am?" The store employee asked Twilight as she looked around in a daze.

"What's going on?" She asked as she was slowly helped up to a sitting position.

"You screamed and fainted. I thought for a second you caught sight of a really good deal." He told her with a sly grin. Seeing that the joke didn't take, he coughed quietly before he cleared his throat.

"Ahem. Are you going to be alright, or do you want me to call for help?" Behind the stallion, 'Sunny' was looking at her with pleading eyes and clenched jaw, shaking her head nearly imperceptibly to signal 'no'.

"I'm fine, thank you. I just had a short dizzy spell and tripped." Twilight replied.

"Are you sure? You look a little pale." The stallion eyed her with with skepticism.

"Yes. I'm sure." She responded just as she stood up little too quickly. "It runs in the family. Completely normal. Happens every day. Even twice somedays. Yup. Normal. Yes." She told the store clerk, a bead of sweat had formed on the side of her face.

"Well, okay... If you need anything just holler." The stallion said before corralling the spectators away.

Once the crowd had dispersed the two mares were left in an extended silence while each one gathered the courage to speak to the other. That silence was broken by Celestia.

"I'm sorry for making you faint." The princess said, while pawing halfheartedly at the ground with her left hoof.

She is sorry? Twilight had been the one who assaulted her, interrogated her, then assaulted her again! She wanted to faint again just from thinking about it.

"Your High—Sunny" She corrected herself after seeing her wince. "There's no need to apologize. I'm sorry for tripping you, then upsetting you, then—"

"It's fine." She quickly interrupted.

Another awkward silence settled between the two of them as they avoided eye contact with each other.

"Well, if that is all..." Twilight said softly before she turned to leave. She was stopped by the touch of a hoof to her withers. The look in her eyes betrayed her desperation.

"Please, I... I need help. She's only a day old and I don't know what I'm doing." Celestia confessed.

"I don't understand. Aren't there servants who could help you more than I could?" Twilight asked.

"They... they're afraid of me." Celestia responded, eyes looking at the floor.

Twilight took a long look at the disguised princess. Before she fainted, she had thought the mare in front of her was a single mother, the victim of an unplanned pregnancy or—heaven forbid—something worse. Equestria, especially Canterlot, wasn't kind to mares in any of those life situations. Apparently, the Princess of the realm wasn't exempt.

"Okay."

The two mares were talking while they walked down the streets of Canterlot in the direction of the palace. Their saddlebags were filled to the brim with diapers, clothes, toys, and other essential foal care items.

"You're saying that foals can be held with telekinesis without harming them?"

"Goodness Sunny! That's just an old mares' tale. The only problems that arise from telekinesis is when it's constant use prevents coat-to-coat contact. Foals need to feel their parents' warmth to develop a healthy emotional connection with them."

"Oh. I think I understand." Celestia replied sheepishly.

Twilight was about to ask Celestia a question when she noticed that she had stopped a few paces behind her. She followed her gaze across the street and noticed an ordinary sight, a middle-aged mare in a sun dress shoving flyers on the faces of passersby. Sensing an opportunity, the proselytizer made her way across the street to the two of them.

"What a fine day our Princess has gifted us, wouldn't you say?" The mare said as she levitated a flyer in front of each of them.

"I guess it is." Celestia replied while looking at the mare warily. "What is all this?" She asked while taking hold of the flyer.

"We are the Children of the Eternal Dawn. Why don't you visit us tomorrow at—"

"This seems like alicorn worship." 'Sunny' said in a stern tone, before slipping the flyer into her saddlebag.

"Oh, no no no no no. We are simply a group of like-minded individuals who support one another and relish the gifts that the daylight brings. It's just a coincidence that our Princess is the one who brings out the sun..."

As the mare continued to make her case, Twilight noticed that Celestia's mien turned stoic. In her limited interactions with her, Celestia seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve, despite putting up a strong front. At the moment, the mare's eyes were listless. The look in those eyes combined with the knowledge of the pony behind them gave her a strong sense of unease. The other mare seemed oblivious to the tension in the air while she continued to babble on.

"We're not interested, thank you." Twilight choked quickly as she grabbed Sunny's forehoof and pulled her away from the other mare as quickly as she could manage.

Twilight now understood why the palace servants could be afraid of their princess. Celestia might consider herself a mere royal, but she had the bearing of a goddess. Anypony would flee at the sight of those lifeless eyes.

Despite the rest of her time with the princess being peaceful, Twilight would repress the memories of that day for years to come.

Celestia stood in the entrance to her balcony ready to bring the day to a close. Sunset was fed, clothed, cleaned, and asleep. She felt as if the last twenty four hours had actually been a month. She was thoroughly exhausted.

I'm not the only one. She thought while looking back into the bedchamber. Philomena had started a new cycle five years ago and now looked to be less than a year away from the next one. Her lustrous feathers lost their sheen that should've lasted two more decades. Granted, she almost never lived through a complete cycle because she always gave part of herself to help those in need.

She came very close to giving up her existence for the filly. She thought as she watched the phoenix sleep peacefully on her perch.

She set her thoughts aside and crossed the threshold into her balcony. Her horn lit up as the sun was steadily guided below the horizon.

As soon as the sun was set and the spell started bringing out the night, Celestia froze still from strong sense of aberration. The feeling of wrongness only increased as the twilight turned into proper night.

It felt as if the whole of the sky had lost its tangibility.

Fearing the worst, she started to hyperventilate while panic started to set in. The elements were gone. She could not activate them. Equestria wasn't safe. The baby—

Focus! She thought while taking deep breaths.

Once her heartbeat slowed to an appropriate tempo, she brought her magical senses into sharp relief and cast her gaze toward the heavens. The sky looked no different from any other night. She couldn't identify the source of the divergence.

Celestia next concentrated on the moon, the source of terrible pain and exhibit of her greatest shame. It looked and felt the same as it had for nearly a millennium. She centered her attention to its sole occupant.

In the past, Celestia used her connection to the heavens to establish emotional links with the moon, all for the purpose of purging the Nightmare and redeeming her sister. Unfortunately, her efforts did not bear fruit. What used to be daily attempts became weekly, then monthly, then annual before she stopped trying altogether. She would have to face her tonight.

She was still there, same as all other times, drowning in an ocean of self-pity, hatred, and a myriad other negative emotions.

Doesn't seem like she is the cause of this. Celestia thought bitterly. Her eyes watered as she tried to distance herself from the torture her sister had been enduring.

By process of elimination, the stars had to be the source of the divergence. She focused on the distant pinpricks of light and felt their collective mass in her magical grasp as if it was sand, where before it had been a monolith. She focused on an individual star and applied light pressure on it.

The star moved. Terrified, Celestia quickly put it back as close to its original position as she could manage.

She had brought out the night sky every night for almost a thousand years. In all of that time she had never had the ability to move stars in the sky. Celestia thought only Luna could do that, being the rightful guardian of the night. But then, if Celestia could now move the stars, when she couldn't before, what changed?

The ele—

Celestia was overwhelmed by a seismic shift in the emotions that radiated from the moon. What moments ago was a veritable soup of negative emotions instantly turned into a colossus of pure, indignant rage.

Rage directed at her.

The last twenty four hours had brought Celestia a lot of emotions she hadn't experienced in a long time, but none of them cut into her soul like this. The air around her felt like it turned into a viscous mass that pressed against every cell in her body. She felt a tightness in her barrel that straddled the line between uncomfortable and painful. She couldn't move.

She couldn't breathe.

The panic attack she had earlier came back in full force. In struggling, Celestia inadvertently hastened her fast-approaching demise. The edges of her vision darkened as she lost her footing and dropped to the ground. The foreign rage wearing her down was the only thing she could feel as she was about to lose consciousness.

Then Sunset started crying.

The oppressive atmosphere left as quickly as it had come. Within seconds, Celestia was upright and heading toward the newborn filly. She cradled the foal into her chest while swaying lightly and humming a soft melody.

Celestia spent the following day wondering why the demon released her.

Author's Note

Updates every other Thursday night.

Thank you for reading!

Prologue: A Sunlit Vigil

Celestia dropped to her haunches beside the incubator, its occupant having finally gone quiet. She lowered her head, feeling the added weight of the crown resting on it. Tears flowed freely from her eyes and mixed with the sweat on her face. She suppressed a whine as she spoke in a soft whisper.

"Forgive me, Luna..."

Twenty-Two hours until sunrise…

The morning sun glistened on Sultry Breeze's back as she rode the thermals that hugged the Canterhorn. Cool mist sprayed on her face as she soared past the waterfall that fed into the city below. She continued dancing with the mountain as she rose, fell, coasted, and twirled merrily under Celestia's cerulean sky.

Sultry's frolicking was cut short when a falling rock clipped her wing.

Sultry Breeze woke up to a cornucopia of pain as she lay on a hidden alcove in the Canterhorn. The nearby waterfall emitted a gentle whooshing sound and bathed the area in a petrichor aroma. The beauty of the surroundings belied the direness of her situation. She'd swerved onto the rock wall when the rock clipped her wing and tumbled onto her current location. Worse still, the fact that she was on vacation meant that nopony expected her to be home for another four days. Steeling herself, she started pushing.

Fourteen hours until sunrise…

The monotonic sounds of verbal discourse echoed in the walls of the palace's conference room as pony and griffon leaders discussed the trivialities of a proposed new trade agreement. As the ruler of the country hosting the forum—and to her chagrin—Celestia was front and center during the negotiations. She didn't bother putting up her façade of wisdom and serenity as she pretended to listen to the debate.

She had literally directed hundreds of meetings like this one over the centuries. The roles and motives of every leader, diplomat, and business executive in the room were as familiar to her as the spell she used to raise the sun every morning. Even the faces of the pony and griffon delegates seemed to be only slight variations of those she'd seen through the generations. Her eyes drifted toward a nearby window as the griffon ambassador droned on about the "paramount" importance of species-agnostic signage on transnational roads crossing pasture lands.

She used to put more effort into her responsibilities only for a couple of centuries of her lone reign. In order to maintain pony social stability, she had to project a perfectly-manicured image of herself as a motherly goddess toward her subjects. Any deviations from it caused panic and dissent among her ponies.

Celestia eventually found a different way of maintaining the status quo. On one particularly difficult day, after hearing from two neighbors about a dispute regarding a pile of debris in one of their yards, she walked out of her court without saying a word. The expected fallout from that one egotistic act never materialized. In fact, the two neighbors ended up settling their disagreement and her court docket was free from inane issues for the following month.

Having failed to notice an extended moment of silence, she was prodded by one of her aides.

"Your thoughts, Princess?" her aide said as all eyes looked expectantly at the alicorn in the room.

"…let's adjourn for today." Responded the Princess, to the surprise of all present.

"But Your Highne—"

"We'll pick this up on Monday." Celestia interrupted in a firm tone before standing up. Her right ear flicked in two quick bursts. The other ponies in the room looked at each other in slight concern and confusion. The griffon ambassador seemed affronted but did not speak up as the princess left the conference room.

Celestia sighed as she reached the balcony outside her bedchamber. She might've brought a hard-fought peace to Equestria and beyond, but she had trouble bringing herself to care for the needs of ponies lately. Days like this one served to accentuate the monotony that had become her life during these last few centuries. Looking at the city below and the scenery beyond, she took off into the evening sky.

Eleven hours until sunrise…

The mountain bluffs overlooking the Everfree Forest were cast in the golden light of the late evening. Celestia felt a cool mist as she landed near the edge of a hidden alcove in the Canterhorn, facing the horizon. The endless humdrum of palace life ceased to exist in this cozy haven. She found it nearly a century ago, on a long day not unlike today. Since then, this place served as a private retreat.

As Celestia closed her eyes to take in the sound of running water, a ragged breathing brought her out of her reverie. Behind her, she found a bruised and disheveled pegasus mare struggling on the ground. This mare had an ochre coat and a golden mane. Her cutie mark displayed a pair of clouds pushed by a breeze with a sun behind them. One of her wings was splayed at an odd angle. When the mare met the eyes of the princess, exhausted relief showed on her face.

"Please..." the mare said to Celestia before her eyes lost focus and her breathing came to a stop. The shadow of relief lingered her face. Celestia continued to gaze impassively at the pony for a several seconds before replying to the now-dead mare.

"The sun, moon, and stars will not delay their passage—regardless of circumstance—my little pony."

At that, she turned around and reached for the sun with her magic. She nearly lost her focus as she set the sun below the horizon when she heard a cry behind her. She looked back to find a unicorn foal hidden under her mother's good wing and cradled in her forehooves.

The foal was in bad shape. Her size was the smallest of any newborn foal Celestia had seen in her life. She could tell that the foal was struggling to breathe from the erratic jerking of her tiny body. After readying an emergency flare with her horn, Celestia looked over to Canterlot below and back to the foal with a scrutinizing look across her face. She changed her mind and gently lifted the foal by the scruff with her mouth. In the blink of an eye, she teleported herself and her newest subject to a hospital.

Eight and a half hours until sunrise...

Celestia's wings readjusted their position awkwardly while she waited outside Canterlot General's neonatal ICU. Her facial expression was fixed with slightly pinched eyebrows and her lips forming a small frown. The faint buzz emanating from the fluorescent lights in the ceiling and the sterile atmosphere permeating the waiting area did little to ease her sour mood as she sat waiting for news on the baby unicorn's condition. Eventually, she was led inside by a slovenly nurse.

An assortment of equipment and monitors attached to an incubator kept the newborn in what Celestia thought must be an uncomfortable position. She noticed that despite having an oxygen tube fastened to her muzzle, the foal drew short, wheezy breaths. Beside the incubator, a unicorn doctor was writing some notes on a document while taking occasional glances at the monitors.

"Doctor, how is she doing?"

"We managed to remove the remaining amniotic fluid from her lungs. She is stable now and her breathing is no longer labored but her heart is too underdeveloped. I'm afraid she won't survive the night."

Celestia mulled on the doctor's words before replying. "Would an aging spell help her?"

"I'm afraid not." The doctor replied. "She has an unusually high resistance to magic for a newborn unicorn. Casting an aging spell on her is almost certain to fail catastrophically."

Celestia took a moment to process the news. The foal's mother was a single parent with no next of kin. While unfortunate, the newborn was in good hooves. Her role as a good Samaritan was at an end. "Thank you doctor."

"My pleasure, Your Highness." With her job finished, the doctor took the chart she was filling out and affixed it to the front of the incubator before leaving to tend to other matters. The letters DNAR were featured prominently at the top of the document.

About to take her own leave, Celestia paused when she heard the foal stir. With a rising feeling of apprehension, she darted her eyes around the room. None of the staff showed any awareness of their increasingly perturbed patient. When a nurse did walk by, she only took a look at the chart and walked away.

Sigh.

Seven hours until sunrise…

Philomena cocked her head as she saw Celestia wheel in the incubator to her bedchamber. She flew over to get a closer look and gave a questioning look at Celestia when she noticed the foal sleeping within.

"I'm just looking after her for tonight."

"…" Philomena continued her glance at Celestia.

"I'm only making sure she's comfortable. She'll soon be rejoined with her mother in the Empyrean Steppes."

Philomena eyed the foal in question before glancing back at Celestia. She spread her wings and wiggled her feathers in suggestion. Celestia shook her head in response.

"I'm afraid that won't work. It would only delay the inevitable."

"..." Celestia's pet did not seem satisfied with that response. She continued to scrutinize her master's eyes, her tail feathers fanning out.

"Don't look at me like that. You know I can't." Celestia said as she averted her eyes away from her old friend.

"…"

Their one-sided conversation came to an end when the foal woke up and began crying. Philomena flew back to her perch, facing away from Celestia, and huffed.

Sigh.

Three hours until sunrise...

Celestia tossed away the feeding syringe. The formula that had spilled on the floor and the stains of it on her coat were evidence of the pointless battle against her charge an hour ago. Despite Celestia's effort to keep the foal comfortable, her wheezing had become erratic. All Celestia could do was sit and wait for the newborn to release her grip on life. As they looked each other in the eyes, a tacit meaning passed between the foal and the princess in a fleeting moment.

"You need to move on. It only gets more painful from here."

"..."

With the moment lost, Celestia's ear twitched and she moved her eyes away from the foal's defiant gaze. The ringing that plagued her ears turned deafening in the relative quiet of her chambers. Looking for any distraction from the growing headache, she turned her head up and froze at the sight that had caught her peripheral vision.

It was herself.

She was splayed on the ceiling looking down at herself with an emotionless expression. Her mane, tail, and wings stuck to the surface as if held by a static charge. Upon blinking she found herself now looking down at her other self from above. Her body was numb and unresponsive as she watched her doppelganger approach the foal with a pillow held in her golden magic.

Her face showed no emotion as she smothered the infant.

"NO!"

The ringing in her ears came to a sudden halt as Celestia found herself again looking at the filly's teal eyes. Beeping from the monitor caught her attention before she could process the dissociative episode. The foal's blood pressure was dropping quickly. With her mind made up, she turned to her friend, who was hovering next to the incubator.

"Philomena, I need to get the elements. Please don't let her go." She pleaded. The moment she received a nod in reply, she threw herself off her balcony and sped toward the heart of the Everfree forest.

Landing right next to the newborn, Philomena plucked a downy feather from the base of her tail and placed it gingerly on its snout. The beeping from the monitor ceased as the feather melted into the foal's nose and a small strand of the foal's crimson mane turned golden.

One hour until sunrise...

Celestia stood by as she watched the Elements of Harmony finish their work in aging the foal up to a size appropriate for a newborn. The amber filly was gently lowered back in the incubator as she slept peacefully. Around Celestia, five gems slowly turned into stone balls while a sixth sublimated into the aether. She lowered her head as she sat down in exhaustion.

"Forgive me Luna." She cried. "Our subjects aren't safe anymore because of my selfishness."

Celestia was laying on her side when a ray of sunlight fell upon her eyelids. She spat out a stray tuft of her mane as she slowly stirred awake. She was mildly surprised that she didn't consciously bring out the dawn. She was yawning when she noticed an unusually strong warmth emanating from her core. Oddly, this feeling was coupled with a faint tingling in her belly.

As her mind slowly cleared the grogginess of sleep, the events of the previous night flashed into her thoughts. She snapped her eyes open and looked around her chambers in a brief bout of panic until a tugging drew her eyes down her barrel to a sight she had never witnessed.

She was nursing the foal.

Celestia gave into the whirlwind of emotions raging inside her and bawled. Soon enough, two sets of cries resonated around her bedchamber.

Author's Note

This is my first foray into writing any sort of fiction. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome.