Chapters Pony POV Spin-Off: Neo Stream BD (Before Death)
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Day XX/XX/XXXX
... ... ...
I slowly opened my eyes. I was staring at the ceiling of my own bedroom.
I gently rubbed my eyes with my hooves as I slowly sat up on my bed.
I didn't have any dreams last night, but I was more than thankful to have slept peacefully for once. After my gruesome nightmare, I thought I'd never sleep again.
I then turned to my bedroom window to look through. It was a dull, cloudy morning. Dark clouds full of rain hung over all of Ponyville. The streets were almost completely empty. I wasn't surprised. Not many ponies like standing around in the rain for several minutes. Neither did I when I was a foal.
But as I grew up in this town, I started to like the rain. I don't know how to explain this, but I almost feel emotionally attached to the rain. It fills me with tranquility and helps me put my mind at ease. Sometimes, on a rainy day, I would go for a walk through the streets of Ponyville while listening to calm tunes on my WalkPony like Moon Stardust's "Hermit in Canterlot." It helps me take my mind off a lot of things.
That reminded me. I still have a lot of things I need to take off my mind right now. And this time, I won't be able to do it alone.
After getting myself washed, I slowly made my way downstairs into the living room. I could hear my mother in the kitchen. She just finished cooking scrambled eggs for our breakfast.
"Um," I said. "Morning, Mom."
"Good morning, dear," my mother replied with a smile as she set both plates down on the dining table. "Your plate is on the left."
"Thanks, Mom. Um, do we still have a phonebook in the house?"
"Yes," she confirmed. "It's right next to the phone in the living room. Why?"
"I want to make an appointment," I replied. "And sort myself out once and for all."
Thus, I approached the table and opened up the phonebook. It only took me a few minutes to find the phone number for Ponyville Hospital. Upon finding it, I picked up the phone and dialed the hospital's main hotline. I then held it to my ear waiting for somepony to answer.
"Don't you want to have your breakfast first?" my mother asked.
"I'll have it after arranging my appointment," I responded.
And so, I continued to wait patiently for somepony at the hospital to answer as the traditional dialing tone echoed in my ear. After a few seconds, the tone finally stopped.
"Hello?" greeted a friendly male voice on the phone. "Ponyville Hospital."
"Hi," I softly replied. "My name is Neo Stream, and...I..."
I hesitated to speak once again.
No, I have to do this. I'd rather do this myself than have somepony else do it for me.
"I need help," I finally continued. "I think I'm mentally unwell...and I need to go to the mental ward."
"OK," the receptionist replied calmly. "How so, sir?"
"Well," I explained. "Ever since...the Princess Gaia incident, I've been getting more easily upset than usual. And a few days ago, I've been having...homicidal dreams...I don't feel comfortable talking about my problems with anypony; not even my mother. But, I think that, maybe, if I go to the mental ward, I might find somepony to talk to."
"I understand," the receptionist replied maintaining his tone of voice. "Unfortunately, we can't register ponies for rehabilitation straight away unless it was an emergency. So, would you mind if we send a psychiatrist over to your house to assess the situation?"
"OK," I sighed reluctantly. "If you have to."
I was hoping not to talk about my problems at home. But, unless I go through with this, they might think that I don't need to be rehabilitated.
"OK, can you please give me the address of your house?"
"It's 40 Sunny Street, Ponyville."
"Alright, thank you. The psychiatrist should arrive in about half an hour."
"OK. Bye."
"Have a nice day."
Thus, I put the phone back down with a reassured smile.
This is it. I'm finally going to get my life back on track.
"Are you done?" my mother called. "Your scrambled eggs are getting cold."
"Oh, right!" I chuckled turning back to her. "Sorry."
And so, I sat down at the kitchen table to have my scrambled eggs which had already gone cold a few minutes ago. I don't mind eating eggs cold though. They taste great all the same.
I then remembered that I needed to pick up those pills Coffee Swirl said he'd have for me today. So I went back down to the Beautiful Day Café with my favorite black jumper and umbrella to keep me out of the rain. I didn't feel like taking my WalkPony with me as I wanted to go without it for a change. Besides, I've already listened to most of the songs on my WalkPony so many times that I know them off by heart.
I eventually made it to the Beautiful Day Café. As I came in out of the rain and wiped my hooves on the doormat, I noticed that the café was almost as empty as the streets of Ponyville. At least I didn't have to wait in line this time around.
"Um...hey," I greeted as I approached the counter. "Have you got the pills for me?"
Coffee Swirl sighed as he reached under the counter to retrieve a bottle of pills that was almost full. "Like I said yesterday," he deadpanned. "It can be taken once a day; but, if you feel like you need a boost sometime in the afternoon, don't be afraid to pop in another."
"No," I replied. "I don't think exceeding the dosage would help one bit."
"Uh, speaking of bits," I continued slapping two bits on the counter. "May I please have a coffee to swallow it?"
"That was what the doctor told me when I was prescribed these things." He casually reached around to the machine and produced a café latte. He then replaced the bits on the counter with my new coffee. "Either way, here's your coffee."
"Thank you," I smiled placing one pill on my tongue before swishing it down with a sip of my fresh café latte. This time around, I felt more awake than ever after a few sips.
"This is great," I beamed as I drank the rest of my coffee. "I really can't thank you enough. Ever since we first met, I've been having less trouble sleeping at night."
"That's usually how it works," Coffee replied. "You should still make some sort of appointment with the shrinks though. I'm not exactly qualified for this sort of thing; I just have perspective."
"I already have this morning," I confirmed. "They'll be coming to my house in about twenty minutes. Well, in case I don't come back for a long time, thanks for everything you've done for me."
Thus, I took my leave once again; this time, with more confidence. I felt that my conservation with him went better than before. Although I made a terrible first impression of myself to him, he wasn't afraid to point me back in the right direction.
More importantly, after that horrible Princess Gaia incident, he once felt the same way about Fluttershy as I did. He hated her for what she put us all through. But, in the end, he forgave her and moved on with his life. I don't know if I could ever forgive her, but I do know that I want to move on too. Otherwise, everything that Coffee said would happen to me if I don't will come true.
When I got back home, I patiently waited for the psychiatrist downstairs in the living room for the next ten minutes. I didn't feel like playing my games or listening to music right now. All I wanted to do was focus on my important meeting with the psychiatrist. I was probably gonna be answering a lot of questions and I didn't want to be unprepared.
While I was waiting for the psychiatrist, I noticed Coffee Swirl walking past my house in the pouring rain. He didn't even have an umbrella with him. What was here doing out there in the cold anyway? Didn't he care that he was getting soaked out there? Was he checking up on me?
Eventually, there was a gentle knock at our front door.
"Could that be the psychiatrist?" my mother asked.
"Maybe," I replied as I dashed to the front door to open it and find out. Standing outside in the pouring rain was a sunshine-yellow pony with a short, tidy white mane as well as matching spectacles, raincoat and backpack.
"Mr. Napoleon Eurabatres Stream?" she asked with a greeting smile.
"Yeah, that's me," I confirmed with a nod. "Everypony calls me Neo. You must be the psychiatrist seeing me today."
"That's right," she replied. "May I please come in?"
"Oh, sure!" I greeted standing back to let her in. I didn't want her to leave her outside in the cold for another minute.
"My name's Bright Light," she said as she came in and hung up her raincoat on our coat hanger. "I'm a special needs assessor from the Ponyville Hospital Mental Health Department. Now I understand that you contacted the hospital earlier claiming to be mentally unwell and in need for rehabilitation. Am I correct?"
"Yeah, that's right," I responded as we proceeded into the living room.
"Can I get you two anything?" my mother kindly offered. "Food? Drink?"
"No thanks," Bright Light politely declined as we all sat down on the settee. "I'm OK."
"I'm alright too, Mom," I answered.
"By the way, Neo," Bright Light continued turning back to me with a slightly more serious face. "Are you alright with your mother being here while we discuss your problems?"
"Yeah," I replied with a gentle nod.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "We can talk somewhere else if you want to."
"No. I think it's important that my mother listens to what I have to tell you."
"Alright then. Now I would like you to tell me as much as you can about your mental illness just so that I can assess the current situation and see what kind of help and support you'll need. Is that OK?"
As much as I can...
"OK," I finally sighed.
And so, I told her everything. I told her about my traumatic encounter with Princess Gaia, my violent outburst at the Gala and my homicidal dreams. I even told her about meeting Coffee Swirl yesterday who used to have similar problems to the ones I have right now.
I found it extremely hard talking about it all in front of my mother, because I really didn't want to share any of this with anypony. However, I didn't go into too much detail about my nightmare. Nor did I mention killing my own mother in that nightmare. I was far too afraid of what my mother would think of me if I did.
I was expecting Bright Light to be asking a lot of questions. But instead, she listened quietly throughout writing down everything I had to say in her clipboard. She only asked one question at the very end.
"So how did you sleep last night?"
"Well," I answered. "After that horrible dream, I thought that I'd never be able to sleep again. But, strangely enough, I did. I didn't have any dreams, but I slept peacefully. Maybe it was discussing my problems with Coffee Swirl that helped me sleep."
"I see. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"No," I replied. "At least, not now. Maybe later when I'm at the hospital."
"I understand."
Thus, she stopped writing and put her pen and clipboard to one side.
"Now, Neo, are you sure you want to go through with this?" she then asked. "It may take several weeks for you to be fully rehabilitated; maybe even months."
"I don't care how long it takes," I firmly replied as I turned to my mother. "I've spent my entire life running away from my problems and myself. But now, I've got nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. The time has come for me to face my problems."
My mother was clearly surprised by my sudden determination.
"And, so far," I continued. "I haven't been dealing with them the way I should be. Instead, I've only been creating more problems."
I then wrapped my arms around her knowing that I may not see her again for a while.
"That's why I have to be rehabilitated," I finished. "To finally learn how to properly face my problems and solve them."
Thus, the entire house fell silent safe for the sound of the rain outside. It was enough to put my mind and soul at ease.
"I see," said Bright Light finally breaking the silence. But I didn't mind. I then felt tears rolling down my right shoulder. They weren't my tears this time; they were my mother's.
"Take care of yourself, OK, Neo?" she sobbed quietly as she patted me on the back. "And remember that I love you and I always have."
"I know," I replied still holding her. "And I love you too."
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Pony POV Spin-Off: Neo Stream BD (Before Death)
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Day XX/XX/XXXX
It's been a whole week since I administrated myself to the hospital for mental rehabilitation. That's pretty hard for me to believe. Time just doesn't seem to be flying like it used to. That's probably because I left all of my belongings apart from my books at home.
Nevertheless, the past few days have been pretty hard for me. Upon arriving at the hospital, I told Bright Light everything about my homicidal dreams like I promised at home. This time, I told her everything I could remember even the most disturbing parts; killing Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy and, worst of all, my own mother. And, I can guarantee you, it was not easy. In fact, it didn't take long for me to burst into tears upon confessing to killing my mother in my sleep. But, that's in the past now. All that matters to me is that I managed to keep the promise I made to Bright Light earlier.
After telling her and the other doctors everything I needed to, they prescribed me with citalopram for my anxiety and depression. They then considered letting me go home with the medication. But I insisted that I stay telling them that I need anger management as well, so that I don't lash out for no good reason anymore. I'll never be able to face anypony let alone Fluttershy if I don't learn to control my anger.
I just finished my fifth session discussing coping strategies with anger management specialist Speckalot again. And I'm pleased to say that things are getting better and better as I am learning to keep a cool head during these sessions.
And now, here I am, back in my tidy private hospital room quietly reading a book called "Them and Yourself." It's a book about learning how to efficiently live with others and yourself. That's something that I've been struggling to do for almost my entire life. It covers all kinds of social topics including relationships, communication, cooperation, emotions as well as many common issues such as anti-socialism, apathy and depression. I wonder if Twilight Sparkle has a copy of this book back at her library, because I believe it would help her studies.
I've only read through the first chapter so far, and I'm already identifying with some of the real scenarios of other ponies included in this book. For instance, there's one tragic scenario in which a kind and outgoing colt was educated at a school where other students argue and fight with each other almost every day. He rarely got involved in the fights himself. All he could do was run out of class away from the commotion. By the end of his final exams, he became a very quiet and seclusive colt unwilling to talk to anypony. And I easily understood why. Because he was afraid of arguing with others; afraid of getting into fights. I should know, because I've always been afraid to arguing with others too.
The more I read about other ponies' past problems, the more I start to realize that I really am not alone. I just found it easy to believe that I was alone from the very beginning. Most of my life, I've been ignoring other ponies' problems, because I was too scared to think about them. I was afraid that they would remind me of my own problems which I didn't want to think about either. But now, I think I realize that if you ignore others' problems, you'll never understand anything about them. Nor will they understand you, because they'll ignore your problems as well. It's only fair after all.
I then heard a gentle knock at the door. That must be the food trolley mare. She usually comes round to deliver my lunch at about half past 12 in the afternoon. I honestly feel sorry for her. If the hospital allowed us patients to go to the cafeteria and our food from there, she wouldn't have to go through the trouble of delivering our food door to door every single day. I know it's her job, but still.
"Mr. Stream?" asked a gentle motherly voice. Yup, it's her alright.
"Please," I humbly chuckled as I briefly put my book down. "I told you, you can just call me Neo."
Thus, in she came with her huge but almost empty food trolley. I'm usually the last patient on this floor to get his food delivered, but I don't mind the slightest.
"Here's your cheese and ham sandwich," she said as he carefully handed me the last plate on the tray. "With an apple and your favorite coffee with it."
"Thanks a lot, miss," I beamed as I took the plate.
"Hope you enjoy," she replied as she carefully pushed her trolley out of the room and left.
And indeed I did. The taste of warm melted cheese on crisp toasted bread always brings a smile to my face even on the dullest days. After finishing my delicious sandwich, I carefully put my plate on the counter next to me and picked up the TV remote laying there.
If I remember correctly, there was going to be a re-run of the royal wedding in Canterlot in a few minutes. I missed the original broadcast which was cancelled mid-broadcast due to Canterlot being overrun by a swarm of shape-shifting creatures known as Changelings. All I got to see was the warning to everypony from a rogue Changeling who calls himself "Icarus" just before the broadcast was cut off.
Icarus, huh? That's the same name as the pony who died trying to escape from prison using artificial wings. And a rogue Changeling? Does that mean he's fighting his own kind? I wonder if there are other Changelings like him out there. If there are, I wouldn't mind meeting one. But, it may take some time for me to get used to being around them.
Ah! The royal wedding broadcast is about to begin. I hope nothing bad happens this time...
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Pony POV Spin-Off: Neo Stream BD (Before Death)
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Written By Jordan Dean "Mystery" Ezekude
Day XX/XX/XXXX
Many ponies tell me that I have a very good memory. Sometimes, I wish that I didn't have it, because there are many things that I remember. And there are some things that I wish to forget; things that I wish I never knew.
I still remember the day I met him; the day I came face to face with the Spirit of Chaos himself.
The day I met Discord.
It all began the morning after the last Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot, which I left early as soon as the parade was over. Mom stayed behind to meet some of her old work colleagues. When she finally got back home, she told me that I missed Rainbow Dash and her friends trashing the Gala. I guess it was a good thing that I decided to go home early. I would've panicked or stressed myself out if I stayed.
Anyway, the next morning, I was on my way to the Beautiful Day Café for a café latte. I stayed up later than usual on the night of the Gala, so I felt pretty tired in the morning as a result. As soon as I got there, it started to rain. But after buying my café latte, I suddenly realised that it wasn't just raining. It was raining chocolate milk.
Yeah. It was definitely raining chocolate milk. I even briefly stuck my tongue out to confirm it. But that was just the beginning. I looked up and noticed that the clouds in the sky turned pink. They almost looked like puffs of cotton candy.
Chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds...
"What the hell is going on here?" I thought out loud. "Is this another one of my weird dreams?" I hoped it was. But, as I sadly found out later on, it wasn't.
By the time I got back home, I was completely drenched from running through the sudden downpour of chocolate milk; so drenched that I almost completely soaked the doormat without even wiping my hooves as I stepped inside.
"Welcome home, dear!" my mother called out from inside the kitchen.
"Mom?" I called back. "Would you mind getting me a towel? I don't wanna make a mess."
"Alright, sweetie!" she replied. "I won't be long!" And thankfully, she wasn't. In a matter of seconds, she brought a long, thick towel with her to the front hallway.
"Goodness!" Mom exclaimed as she began rubbing it all around my face and body to dry. "You're completely soaked!"
"Yeah," I explained nervously. "On my way home, it suddenly started raining chocolate milk."
"Chocolate milk!?" she gasped.
"Yeah," I replied. "I couldn't believe it either, but that's what it tasted like."
"On top of that," I continued. "The clouds in the sky now look like pink puffs of cotton candy. I have no idea what's going on here."
"Neither do I," Mom replied reassuringly. "Anyway, I'm certain this will be taken care of, so you don't have to worry about it. Why don't you have a nice shower to clean yourself off?"
"Alright," I sighed.
And so I did. I stood under the warm shower washing the chocolate milk off my body along with the stress and tension from witnessing today's surreal weather. By the time I was finished, my mind and body felt completely refreshed despite today's chaos. Thus, I decided to sleep in early tonight to put my mind at ease. I slept peacefully with my curtains closed hoping that the crazy weather outside would subside tomorrow.
Sadly, it didn't.
The next day, I was woken up pretty early in the morning by a roaring stampede outside. I tried to ignore the commotion and get back to sleep, but to no avail. Inevitably, I decided to open my curtains and see what was going on outside though I hesitated at first fearing that the bizarre weather from yesterday hadn't subsided like my mother said it would.
As soon as I drew open my curtains, everything outside suddenly went dark. I could barely see anything and I was too confused to care. Did the sun just whizz down in a split second a moment ago?
Then, the sun whizzed back up again, and, within a split second, my face contorted in fright and disbelief upon seeing Ponyville suddenly transformed into a nightmarish land of pink, checker-patterned hills and floating, upside-down houses, inhabited by a stampede of long-legged critters and ballet dancing buffaloes in pink tutus.
"This can't be happening," I uttered in pure shock.
"Like what you see outside?" a familiar female voice scoffed behind me. "Well then, why don't you go outside and have fun!" The next thing I knew, I was suddenly kicked out of my bedroom window by my own mother. Strangely enough, I was barely injured as soon as I hit the checker-patterned grass floor, but that didn't the shock from being kicked out.
"Mom?" I cried in shock as I slowly picked myself up. "What are you doing!?"
"What I should've done the day you were born," she responded in an unbelievably cold manner. "Maybe your father was right about you all along." And with that, she immediately slammed the window shut and locked it. She then briefly glared at me just before closing the curtains.
Thus, I was left locked outside shocked and confused. I refused to believe what I just heard from my mother's mouth. Maybe my father was right? Right about what? Being a burden to him??
According to my mother, my father broke up with her a few days before I was born. Thus, she raised me as a single parent for the rest of my life. She told me that he abandoned both of us for two reasons; one, that he wasn't ready to be a father, and two, that he believed that his child would be a burden to him and her. Is that what she meant about my father being right about me?
But my mother has looked after me all my life and she always told me that having me as her son was the best thing that ever happened to her! Why the hell would she suddenly kick me out of her house and say otherwise!?
Was she...just hiding her true feelings for me? Does she really feel the same way about me as my father?
Would the two of them have been happier together...if I was never born at all?
The longer I dwelled upon these thoughts, the more tears I shed. Never before in my life have I been overwhelmed with this much heartache, loneliness and worthlessness. There have been many times in my life in which I hated myself for the mistakes I made in the past. But, this is the very first time I ever truly hated myself simply for who I am.
Maybe my parents were right. Maybe I am a burden; not only to my family, but to my friends as well.
Maybe it would've been better for everypony if I never existed.
"How despicable of her," scorned an elderly male voice from behind me. "Kicking out her one and only son in the world?"
I immediately spun around and was startled to see a creature I never would've imagined meeting in my life; a bizarre-looking, chimera-like creature with the head of an old goat, the antler of a deer, the horn of a demented unicorn, the body of a chicken, the paw of a lion, the talon of an eagle, the hoof of a deer, the leg of a dragon and the tail of a sea serpent. What the hell was he!?
"My apologies, son," the weird yet humble creature spoke. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I just came to see how you were doing. I mean, after seeing your own mother kick you out of the house and all."
"Y-You saw her!?" I asked in a shaky tone of voice hoping not to upset him.
"Saw and heard the whole thing as I was just passing by," he confirmed with a sigh. This is where I got the first impression that he was just a bystander. "I even heard the horrible things she said about you. Saying that she should've abandoned you when you were born? You truly can't get any lower than that."
"But she raised me as a single parent ever since my father left her before I was born," I replied. "She always looked after me and told me many times that she loved me up until now...But..."
I was beginning to tear up once again.
"Maybe," I continued. "She was just hiding her true feelings from me. Maybe she always hated me for who I am...Just like how I've hated myself for being overly-emotional at times; how I wished that I was completely emotionless so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain."
"Why would you say that?" he asked in concern. "It's no crime to feel overly-emotional at times! Everypony does! It's part of pony nature! Besides, if you were emotionless, you might as well just be a robot."
"I don't care!" I finally bawled as I hung my head down in despair. "Anything's better than staying how I am now!!"
Thus, my cry echoed throughout almost the entire street until it was drowned out by the sound of chocolate rain. After a few seconds, that was the only sound I could hear apart from my own sobbing. I truly couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to be myself anymore.
"Well," he sighed finally breaking the silence. "I don't normally fulfil others' requests as it is not part of my job. But since you're one of the first ponies I've ever felt sorry for in a long time, then I shall grant you your wish; I'll free you from the pain of emotion."
"You will...!?" I gasped immediately looking back up to him. I was certain that I wasn't hearing things. He was willing to actually make me emotionless? "How!?"
"With magic, of course," he quickly added. "Under one condition, however."
"Y-Yes?" I asked. "Wh-What is it? I'll do anything!"
"It's nothing much," he confirmed as he knelt down towards me and gently placed his hands on both sides of my head as if he was going to massage them. "No big errand or anything. I won't even charge you a single bit. I just want you to listen carefully to what I'm about to tell you and remember it. Can you do that for me?"
"I will," I nodded desperately. "I'll listen to every word!"
"Very well then."
Thus, he looked deeply into my eyes as he spoke; the colour of his eyes changing to a swirling pattern of blue, green and yellow circles whilst doing so.
"It's impossible for creatures to become completely emotionless. For without emotion, Equestria would be lifeless. Emotion is what motivates us; drives us to take action and do things. For without emotion, we would feel like doing absolutely nothing."
Thus, upon parting his words of wisdom, not only did I feel like my tears were drying on their own, but I felt like all of the ache and pain in my heart was slowly fading away along with all the emotional energy inside me. It all slowly faded away into nothingness like water going down the drain of a sink until eventually every last drop is gone.
After a few seconds, he then gently removed his hands from my head. With that, all of the muscles in my face and body completely relaxed.
And, for the first time in my life, I felt...entirely...empty.
...Emotionless.
...Numb.
"Well?" he beamed as he quickly stood up. "How do you feel now?"
"I...don't know," I spoke; my words simple and my tone of voice monochrome. "I...barely feel...anything."
"Do you feel sad?" he asked.
"A little bit, yes," I replied; my tone of voice not changing. "Sad that my mother no longer accepts me. But that doesn't bother me anymore. I'm old enough to take care of myself now."
"Do you feel angry?"
"Just a bit, yes; angry towards my parents for rejecting me like trash. But what's done is done now. I don't need them in my life anymore."
"Do you feel...happy?"
"Yes. Quite happy; happy that I no longer feel the pain of emotion in my heart; happy that I can finally live without sorrow, fear and anger. I've prayed for so many years for this day to come. And now that is has come, I ask for nothing else."
"I'm so glad to hear that I've made you happy," he beamed clapping his hands. " Now that I've granted your one and only wish, I hope you live the rest of your life happily ever after!"
"I will," I replied with a slight smile. "Thank you, Mr..." It was at this very moment that I remembered that I never asked him his name.
"Discord," he replied as he briefly glanced at an old pocket watch he apparently got out of nowhere. "Just Discord; that's what everypony calls. And, there's no need for thank me, son. It's all in a day's work." Thus, Discord began to flap his unmatching wings and lifted his feet off the ground.
"Well then, I must be off!" he continued waving goodbye with an earnest smile. "Twilight Sparkle will be here with her friends any minute now, and I wouldn't want to keep them waiting. Take care of yourself, son! Do svidaniya!"
Thus, with a snap of his fingers and a flash of light, he was gone.
"Do svidaniya, Discord," I whispered.
That was the last I ever saw of Discord.
What happened next? Well, let's just say that I was left to aimlessly wander through the warped Ponyville alone. On the way, I passed several dancing buffaloes, small long-legged animals, floating buildings, even a few ponies acting strangely in public. But none of that phased me. I was, of course, at the time, too emotionless to care about anything; least of all my mother.
I even forgot that she ever existed. That is, until Twilight Sparkle and her friends ultimately defeated Discord and set everything back to normal. At that moment, everything came rushing back; my happiness, my excitement, my melancholy, my fear, my frustration and, most importantly, my memories.
My memories of my experiences, my childhood, my education, my friends, and, finally, my mother; the mare who looked after me and raised me all on her own.
Upon remembering who I am and who she is, I instantly became anxious to know if she was back to normal too. Thus, having walked pretty far, I rushed back home constantly worrying that about how she would react to seeing me again after inadvertently kicking me out of the house.
Eventually, there I saw her waiting for me outside the house. She must have been worrying about me too. As soon as our eyes finally met, neither of us could say how overjoyed we were to see each other again back to how we were. At the time, neither of us even knew that Discord was pulling our strings the whole time even if he was genuinely trying to help me, which I doubt. All that mattered was that everything was back to normal once again.
Day XX/XX/XXXX24 Hours Before Death
Like I said, there are many things I remember that I wish I could forget. But, the more I think back to the day I met Discord face-to-face, the more sense I start to make out of my homicidal dreams.
On the day I met him, I honestly thought that he was trying to help me. And the fact that he took my emotions away just to grant my "wish" only strengthened my first impression on him.
Maybe that's why, after my traumatic Princess Gaia dilemma, I believed that Discord would've been the only one who would understand my feelings at the time. Maybe that's why I was so desperate to release him believing that he would "help" me again.
Regardless, and I can never say this enough times, I'm thankful that it was all just a dream; a sick and psychotic dream, but a dream nonetheless.
But, if it wasn't a dream, would Discord still try to help me?
...Probably not.
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Pony POV Spin-Off: Neo Stream BD (Before Death)
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Day XX/XX/XXXX
Six weeks have passed since I admitted myself to the hospital for mental rehabilitation. Strangely enough, it almost feels like it's been three whole months.
I can't help but wonder what's been going on in Ponyville during my absence. I doubt that anypony besides my mother will recognize me after all this time. And, considering my outbursts at the Grand Galloping Gala and the Beautiful Day Café, I think that would be for the best.
Regardless, today is my last day here. After six long weeks of therapy, counselling and intensive book reading, I'm finally ready to go home. This morning, I was officially discharged from the ward and declared fully rehabilitated.
By the time I set hoof outside the main entrance with Bright Light, I honestly felt like most of my past troubles were gone for good; not a single trace of resentment nor malice in my mind. I finally have enough confidence to face society again.
"Well, I guess this is it," sighed Bright Light. "I bet the ward staff will miss you in a couple of weeks. We don't often get patients as polite and charming as you."
"Is that so?" I chuckled, blushing a little. "Well, I'll remember to call you if I need any help in the future."
"Please do," she smiled. "I'll look forward to seeing you again."
"Me too," I smiled back. "Well, I better get going. I don't want to keep my mother waiting! Thank you for everything!" Thus, with little hesitation, I took off and started heading for home.
"You're very welcome, Neo!" she called, waving me goodbye. "Take care of yourself! And please give my regards to your mother!"
Those words of encouragement were enough to fill me with anticipation. Never before have I felt this excited about coming home and reuniting with my mother!
I mean, there was the aftermath of Discord's awakening and, on top of that, my nightmarish run-in with She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named. But, on those two incidents, I was only separated from my mother for a couple of hours.
The last time I saw her face-to-face was during her visit at the ward last fortnight. Every week or two, she would come over to ask me how I'm doing and tell me about stuff that's been happening in Ponyville while I was away. I've heard that Vexel and Beta have had very little to do since my absence. They must miss me as much as my mother does. And, on days she couldn't visit, we would exchange letters with one another.
Well, those days are finally coming to an end! Just another mile or two and I'll be home again! Then, once I reunite with my dear, sweet mother, I can finally start my life anew!
"Hold on, Mom," I said to myself as I was trotting towards Ponyville. "I'm coming ho--"
"Huh!?!?"
Just when I least expected it, I felt the ground beneath me shake for a split-second. The force was enough to send me tumbling down a small hill. Thankfully, it wasn't so much that I ended up hitting bottom. Still, that short but violent quake could've easily paralyzed me; that's how startled I was.
As soon as I stopped tumbling, I slowly started to pick myself up again. My eyes were darting everywhere anxious to know what caused the ground to shake. But I was greeted with nothing but silence; long, smoothing silence. Sadly, that silence didn't last long.
Before I knew it, the ground below me completely disappeared and I found myself plummeting down a seemingly bottomless pit, screaming all the way down. Thus, before I could cry out for help, everything went black.
Day XX/XX/XXXX
I couldn't imagine how far I fell from the surface. I couldn't even guess how long I was unconscious for. My sense of time was almost entirely lost. My body felt so heavy that I could barely move, let alone think straight. All I could do was listen to the sound of waves growing louder and louder with each crash upon the sand.
When I finally opened my eyes, I found myself in the middle of a cold, deserted beach at midnight. The sky and the ocean were black, the stars and the moon were shining dimly above and a tremendous cliff made up of thousands of black and blue rocks surrounded me.
"Is this a dream?" I somehow managed to mutter.
"YOU ARE NOT DREAMING," a formidable feminine voice suddenly hissed from nowhere. "THIS IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH; ABSOLUTE REALITY ."
That cold and emotionless yet booming whisper was enough to force me back on my feet. I anxiously spun around in search of the voice's owner, feeling more on edge than ever. I was desperate to find whoever was calling me, but there was nopony there...
...Nopony but...
"Mom!?"
I saw her lying on the sand not too far away from me. I instantly recognized her from her cutie mark; a pair of crimson roses connected by one vine. Her body was almost completely covered in bruises. She looked as if she somehow survived a fall from a great height...like how I did.
"Mom!!" I immediately cried as I staggered towards her. "Mom, are you alright!?"
"Oh, Neo...!" she sighed with great relief. "Oh, I'm so glad to see you again...!!"
"What happened to you, Mom!?"
"I-I don't know," she replied. "The last th-thing I remember was preparing pasta with g-grated cheese to celebrate your...discharge. Then, all of a sudden, the house started shaking and I found m-myself falling down an endless hole."
"Good heavens," I uttered with widened eyes. There was absolutely zero chance of this being a coincidence. Either there's been a terrible earthquake in Ponyville or...we're both in deep shit...
"Neo...? What is it?"
"THIS IS NO EARTHQUAKE," the mysterious voice boomed once more. "THIS IS NOTHINGNESS ."
Upon hearing that disturbing voice once again, we immediately turned in its direction. It was then that we spotted a middle-aged unicorn hovering above the black ocean. She wore a steel-blue cloak with a torn hood hiding her eyes from us. The voice seemed to be coming from her...or so we thought.
Next thing we knew, we both stared in true horror as an unspeakably terrifying dragon-like head gradually emerged from the depths of the ocean just behind the hovering unicorn. Her serpentine face bore a somewhat passing resemblance to...
"D-D-D-Discord!?!?" I stammered hysterically.
"DISCORD IS MY SON," the fearsome dragon-like creature hissed. "I AM ENTROPY, THE END-OF-ALL-THINGS; THE FINAL MATHEMATICAL TRUTH THAT LIES AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE."
Those words hit me harder than anything I've ever heard in my life, even more so than Fluttershy confessing her crimes as "Princess Gaia" at the Grand Galloping Gala. First of all, Discord had a family!? And this is his mother!? Secondly, she's "the truth that lies at the end of the universe"!? Does that mean that...we're...we're dead!?!?
"Wh-What do you want from us!?" I nervously questioned. "Why a-are we here!?"
"I HAVE SUMMONED YOU HERE, YOUNG NAPOLEON EURABATRES STREAM," she bellowed in response. "FOR I INTEND TO BRING YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES TO FRUITION."
"M-my deepest...desires...?" I whispered in utter confusion.
"DOES YOUR HEART HUNGER FOR DESTRUCTION, BOY?" she continued. "DOES YOUR HEART SCREAM OUT IN RAGE? DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM?"
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I shakily replied.
"DO NOT EVEN DARE TO THINK YOU CAN LIE TO ME ," Entropy snarled with no change in facial expression. "TWO MONTHS AGO, YOU WERE BETRAYED BY A DEAR FRIEND OF YOURS. SHE TURNED EVERYPONY YOU KNEW AND LOVED AGAINST YOU AND USED THEM TO MAKE YOU SUFFER."
It didn't take long for me to figure out that she was talking about Fluttershy and her actions as Princess Gaia.
"SHE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MANY SEVERE CRIMES ; ABDUCTION, TRESPASSING, THEFT, BLACKMAIL, TORTURE AND, ABOVE ALL, MANIPULATION. YET DESPITE THE SEVERITY OF HER CRIMES, SHE WAS EASILY FORGIVEN BY THE GULLIBLE EQUESTRIAN MASSES. FOR THOSE FEW WHO WERE NOT SO GULLIBLE INCLUDING YOURSELF, THEY WERE UNJUSTLY PERSECUTED TO THE VERY ENDS OF THE PLANET."
Those...few? Was she talking about Coffee Swirl besides me?
"RIGHTFULLY FEELING BETRAYED AND REJECTED BY EQUESTRIA ITSELF, YOU FELT PREPARED TO SEVER ALL TIES TO THE WORLD YOU ONCE LOVED. RIGHTFULLY HEARTBROKEN AND ENRAGED BY SUCH CRUELTY, YOU PRAYED FOR JUSTICE AND RETRIBUTION UPON THEM ALL. AND YOU SAW YOURSELF DELIVERING THAT VERY RETRIBUTION TO ALL THOSE WHO BETRAYED YOU."
It was then that I fully understood what she was talking about. She was retelling my traumatic experiences during and after the Princess Gaia incident...including my omnicidal nightmare in which I destroyed Equestria myself. These must be the "desires" that she wishes to fulfill.
"That...w-was just a dream," I uncomfortably spoke, unable to deny anything. "It was a dream that didn't come true; a dream that should never come true!"
"DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF," Entropy hissed. "YOU CANNOT LIE TO ME. NOR CAN YOU LIE TO YOURSELF . DEEP IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT EQUESTRIA IS ROTTEN . EQUESTRIA IS NOTHING MORE THAN A DYING WASTELAND. ITS INHABITANTS ARE DROWNING IN A CESSPOOL OF CHAOS, SELFISHNESS, HYPOCRISY, ILLOGIC AND, WORST OF ALL, SELF-DESTRUCTION. IF LEFT ALONE, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO GRADUALLY DESTROY EACH OTHER AND THEMSELVES TO THE END OF TIME. YOU KNOW THAT ALL TOO WELL. YOU HAVE KNOWN SINCE THE DAY EQUESTRIA BETRAYED YOU. "
I didn't know how to respond to her statement. There may have been times in the past when I felt like Equestria was no place worth living in, but...
"IT IS NOT TOO LATE," she continued. "THERE IS STILL TIME. EQUESTRIA MAY BE INCAPABLE OF SAVING ITSELF, BUT IT CAN STILL BE PUT OUT OF ITS MISERY. NAPOLEON EURABATRES STREAM, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF; YOUR LAST CHANCE TO MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL . ABANDON ALL HOPE YOU HAVE FOR EQUESTRIA AND END ITS SUFFERING ONCE AND FOR ALL...OR CEASE TO EXIST ALONG WITH EVERY LAST MISERABLE INHABITANT. IT IS YOUR CHOICE. "
Then, just like that, silence; absolute silence. No words spoken, no drastic movements, nothing. This moment was far too familiar to me. After a few seconds, the words of the Discord in my nightmare started to faintly echo in my head.
"Silly, silly colt! You don't need me to become a Nightmare! You've had the power to become a Nightmare ever since you were born. In fact, everypony's had that power. Even earth ponies could become Nightmares if they wanted to! You just never realized this power. And because of that, you never chose whether or not to harness it."
"You can be whatever you want to be. You can be yourself, you can be a pegasus, a unicorn, a Nightmare. Heck, you can even be me for a day!"
"All you need is the will to make it happen."
Then, my words started to echo along with his.
"I can become anything."
"All I need is the will to make it happen."
"The will to make it happen."
"Make it happen."
"Make it happen."
"No," I whispered. My voice was no longer shaking, at least not noticeably.
"I BEG YOUR PARDON," Entropy hissed. "SPEAK UP."
"I said no!" I firmly repeated. "I can't do it...No, I won't do it! I have no reason to do such a horrible thing!!"
"Seven weeks ago, everything you just said about me might've been true...and perhaps I would've accepted your offer. I admit that I have considered murdering Fluttershy for what she did as Princess Gaia...hence me dreaming about destroying Equestria with my bare hooves...But, I'm not the same pony I was back then! Now I know for sure that total destruction creates nothing! It may end all sorrow and suffering in the world, but it would also end all joy and happiness with it! So...I don't care what you do to me. I'm going to speak the truth..."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before releasing my last words addressed to her.
"I'd rather die than end all of Equestria!!!"
Thus, another period of silence. Entropy didn't say a word. She just continued to stare down into my very soul, not blinking once, not even moving a muscle. Perhaps she knew all along that I would never join her, but she still wanted to see if I would.
"YOU TRULY DISAPPOINT ME, NAPOLEON EURABATRES STREAM ," Entropy finally bellowed, breaking the silence. "I HAD HOPED THAT YOU WOULD BECOME ONE OF US. YOU COULD HAVE REPLACED DESTRUCTION AND BECOME MY NEW SON. YOU COULD HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF A MORE WORTHY CHILD THAN DISCORD AND END HIS TOMFOOLERY. I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED YOU AS ONE OF MY FAMILY. THE POWER OF THE DRACONEQUI WOULD HAVE BEEN YOURS. YET YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON IT ALL OUT OF FEAR OF DIRTYING YOUR SOUL."
At that moment, her facial expression finally changed; she frowned down upon me...with absolute contempt. On top of it all, her fangs were more exposed than ever. That could only mean one thing...
...She was going to devour us.
"SO BE IT. FROM THIS MOMENT ON, YOU HAVE NO FUTURE. NOR DO YOU HAVE A PAST. YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS MOTHER ARE NO USE TO ME NOW. YOU ARE NO USE TO ANYONE. NOTHING AWAITS YOU NOW; NOTHING BUT NOTHINGNESS ITSELF ."
Well, I guess this is it. This is the end for me...
I had absolutely no idea of what would become of me and my mother. In fact, I didn't even want to think about it. All I knew for sure was that I was going to spend the last moments of my life with my mother.
I had no time to look back on my short life; no time for reminiscence nor regret. But I didn't mind. Being with my mother was all that mattered to me.
Thus, all I could do was tearfully hold her in my arms one last time as a pair of fangs as big as Equestria itself slowly but surely descended upon us.
"I love you, Neo," she sobbed.
"I love you too, Mom," I softly replied with a faint smile.
And so, after one final exchange of love between mother and son, Napoleon Eurabatres Stream, and his beloved mother, Florence Elizabeth, were erased from this plane of existence without a single trace.
Thus ends the tragic tale of the Stream family; a tale which nopony can recall or retell due to their removal from time and space. And so, I write to you in hopes of letting their existences be known once again.
I wish to save their existences from obscurity so that their mistakes are not repeated by others; so that future generations do not suffer what they suffered.
Thank you for your time, Your Highness.
Your faithful Time Lord,
Author's Note
At long last, it's finally here! The final chapter of Neo Stream's long and dramatic tale of anxiety, depression, anger and atonement; his true ending!
I honestly can't believe it's been one year and a half since the last chapter was uploaded. I mean, I already had an ending for his tale but I had no idea what to write before it. I should've known that :devalexwarlorn:, the mastermind behind the original Pony POV series, had provided the solution to my problem long ago.
Regardless, I don't think I can ever express how happy I am to finish this once and for all. So, without further ado, here it is; the finale of Neo Stream B.D. (Before Death)!
I would like to thank everyone who has been reading this through to the end. I also give my thanks to everyone who has supported the making of this tale especially you, Alex! I couldn't have done this without you, and I wish you the best of luck with your life!
Fan-Fic Soundtrack:
Neo Stream's Dischargehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VRupPENjnw
The Sea Of Nothingnesshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fE7ggOLdfI
Entropy's Appearancehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXF5zHQBy3Y
Neo Stream's Dying Words/Ending Themehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CQhucPlTFI
My Little Pony © Hasbro
Pony POV Spin-Off: Neo Stream BD (Before Death)
Chapter 1: Coffee Swirl Joined Your Party
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Dear Princess Celestia,
The following is a record of events taking place before the untimely deaths of Napoleon Eurabatres Stream, and his beloved mother, Florence Elizabeth, marking the end of the Stream family.
These reports were written with the sole intention of uncovering the last moments of their lives as well as the truth behind their tragic deaths.
It is all the more tragic that they were young. But, had they lived long, happy lives, they couldn't have expected nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that week.
Day XX/XX/XXXX
I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't even want to think about it.
But still, how many other ponies have homicidal dreams about becoming a Nightmare and brutally murdering everypony including their own loved ones?
I was more than thankful that it was all just a dream. But I was still feeling uneasy and apprehensive; not only about my dream, but about myself too.
Maybe it's time I...start seeking help...Real help.
But first, I need to clear my head and take my mind off so many things.
So, here I am, standing in the main queue of the Beautiful Day Café and shamefully staring at the floor. This is where I bought and drank my first ever coffee. It was a caffè latte. Ever since then, that's the only type of coffee I've been drinking.
With a sigh, the coffee shop owner adjusted his glasses and passed off another order.
"Next," the stripy-red pegasus called.
"Hmm...Huh?" I uttered lifting my head.
"Oh...Um..."
I frowned to myself shamefully as I slid two bits onto the counter.
"Caffè latte please..."
Thus, the shop owner moved about the other side of the counter to fill my order. While he was making my caffè latte, he kept his eyes on me. He must've already noticed that I was unsettled.
"Sit there," he indicated pointing at the closest table to the counter with a nod. "Then you can tell me what's up after the rush clears up."
"Huh? Uh...Right..."
I slowly sat down at the table instructed by the shop owner. I then gloomfully stared at his caffè latte letting it cool.
Why does he want to know what's wrong with me? He doesn't know me. I'm just a stranger to him. Besides, everypony already knows what's wrong with me...
...I'm just insane...
Thus, I took the first sip of my coffee, but this time, I didn't feel the slightest surge of energy.
Several minutes passed as I slowly drank my coffee sip by sip. When the queue was gone, and things had calmed down, the shop owner turned to me.
"So, what's your problem then?" he asked.
"...What problem...?" I sighed.
He rolled his eyes. "You're moping about, you haven't looked at anything other than the floor since you came in and you're sucking on the coffee like you don't even care what it is. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."
"And why the hell would you care?" I sulked finally looking at him in the face before turning back to my empty cup. "Nopony else does..."
"Yeah," he replied. "You really do need help." He paused to fill another order from a customer and glanced at the clock.
"I'm guessing you've told a few ponies and they haven't really been all that sympathetic."
I scoffed at his comment. Haven't been that sympathetic? That's an understatement.
"Told them what?" I grimaced refusing to look at him.
"Well, I don't know," he shrugged with his wings as he leaned against the counter. "You're pretty annoyed about something; and the 'Nopony cares' line pretty much tells me about what. So seriously, what's the problem?"
I hesitated to speak. Not only was I reluctant to talk about it, but I was also worried that other ponies might be listening to our conversation. And I sure as hell didn't want to repeat what happened in Canterlot.
"...I...can't tell you," I whispered. "Not here..."
"Uh...yeah, you can," he deadpanned. "Nopony's listening. They've all got their own problems and conversations going on. That's why I told you to sit there. The only time ponies do care about what you're saying is when you're shouting it in their faces."
"Hey!" I snapped defensively trying to keep my voice down. "You think I like shouting in their faces? You think I like it one damn bit?"
I then rested my head on my right hoof as I stopped to keep myself under control.
"...OK, look, I'm sorry," I apologized. "It's just I...I've had...been...having...the worst time of my life..."
The shop owner barely flinched at my outburst. "Which is why I'm trying to get you to talk about it," he continued. "Despite how many colts love the whole 'I'm a stallion and I don't need anypony to solve my problems', the reality is that it doesn't work that way."
"I know that," I sighed in irritation. "Anyway, it's not like that. I know that I need help...But the problem is...nopony cares about me anymore...They only care about Fluttershy now, not me...That's why..."
I hesitated once again. Why am I telling him all of this?
"...I'm considering moving out," I finally finished frowning with hopelessness and uncertainty.
"Ah, Fluttershy," he sighed as well, then glancing toward the crowd around the shop. Like he said, everypony was minding their own business and not caring for the two of them. "Nice to meet another pony who isn't some nut-job conspiracy lover who doesn't think she's the greatest thing ever."
"Wait, what?" I asked finally looking up to him in true surprise. Am I hearing things? This guy hates Fluttershy too!? I'm not the only one!?
"Yeah," he confirmed almost as if he read my mind. "You're not hearing things...Not yet anyway." He then paused to make himself a cup of his own brew. "I still get sick of how much they praise their precious 'Princess Gaia'. When are they ever going to shut up about her?"
"Don't ...ever mention that name." I demanded. I never wanted to hear that name again. "...She tortured me...She tried to take my friends and family away from me, and I hated her for it...And now..."
I was starting to tear up. I wanted to forget everything that Fluttershy put me through. I never wanted to talk about it ever again.
"...Now," I sobbed. "I think she's succeeded...Everypony hates me now...Just because I was the only one who resisted her trance...Just because I had standards...I was being honest."
"Honesty's a double-edged sword, kid," he deadpanned as he took a sip of his drink. "You can't just say 'This is who I am' and not expect ponies to get annoyed or angry."
I began to frown with dismay at his insensitive comments. I already had a vague idea of where he was going with this.
"More to the point, all that hate you've got in you, and I can tell that it's hate too, isn't going to get you anything in the end. Holding a grudge against Fluttershy isn't going to solve anything. Any thoughts you might be entertaining of getting back at her, even if you could lay so much as a hoof on her with all those ponies who love her, they won't give you any of the things you want. You need to stop with it."
"All them?" he nodded at his costumers as they talked about several things among themselves. "Yeah, they're a bunch of idiots who want to go back to being stupid, little foals and don't understand why ponies like you and me find that idea horrifying. But that just makes them not worth the effort to hate. And Fluttershy? She wants ponies to hate her, so they'll punish her and torture her. Yeah, she's getting a lot better, but you can tell it's still there. My point is that you need to drop something as worthless as hate. It's not going to get you anything."
"That's easy for you to say!" I ranted bitterly. "Because you're not me! You don't have the slightest idea of how I feel or what I've been through! You don't understand!"
The shop owner rolled his eyes again as he took another drink from his beverage. "Time for a bit more honesty, kid. You ain't special. I know your parents have probably been going on about how great you are, but that's just the stuff they tell you so you feel better about yourself. I know you'd love to be some special snowflake that's only you and nopony else, but that's not how life works. The simple fact is that yes, I do know what you're going through because I've gone through a version of it. I know what it's like to be despised for not worshiping the ground Fluttershy walks on; what it's like to be viewed as less than mentally sound for doing anything other than loving her. I even know what it's like to hate her, because I did for a long time to the point that I actually was starting to go crazy because I was just letting it build up. But, hey, if you want to end up in the nuthouse, I'm sure you'll be well taken care of."
"Oh yeah?" I snapped. "Well then, why aren't you in the nuthouse...!?"
"I talked to somepony who helped my come to terms with the issues I have with the world and the things in it," the shop owner calmly responded. He didn't even raise his voice. His unbelievable composure was making me angrier. I was getting the impression that he doesn't care about me either.
"It helped me let go of a lot of that hate so it wasn't driving me crazy. It's not nearly as hard as you're making it out to be. I'm not even asking you to forgive her, because I still haven't. I'm just asking you nicely to stop hating her and all the other ponies."
"Why should I?" I continued ranting. "Even if I do, everypony will still hate me...And I'll continue to hate myself more than anything else in the world...Especially after my last dream."
"Oh, for the love of Celestia," he sighed with clear annoyance. "Kid, here's the bitter truth. They hate you because you're being an arrogant self-centered ass about the whole thing."
I started grinding my teeth listening to his insults. At this point, I didn't care how stressed he was talking to me and dealing with his customers at the same time. I was this close to lunging myself at him and beating him senseless.
"This entire conversation has been you talking about yourself and how your problems are somehow more important than everypony else's . I've been trying to be a good pony and help you out, but with the way you've been carrying on, you sound as if you don't want any help; as if you want to be a lonely, miserable old horse disillusioned with the world and everypony in it. You are not the only pony in the world, nor are you the only one with problems. So stop acting like you're some outcast for having them. And don't say 'But I am!', because I can see that answer coming a mile away."
"Don't you dare say that!" I warned leaning slightly closer to him. "I swear, if you say that again--"
I quickly stopped before I went completely out of control.
"Just what the hell makes you think you're so much better than me!?" I almost cried. "Go on! Tell me!!"
"For one, I don't get overly emotional when people call me out on being a selfish jerk." He clearly had no sympathy for me. Thus, I slapped my left hoof on my head. I was truly agitated at this point. I couldn't take much more of this.
"Seriously," he continued. "Do you want to borrow some of my anti-psychosis meds? You sound like you're a day away from a breakdown with the way your mood's been all over the place since we started talking."
"And now, right after insulting me, you start offering me help?" I grimaced with my tone of voice lowered but still shaking. This wasn't the only pony I lashed out upon for confronting me.
I was then left breathing heavily struggling to calm myself down.
"...Fine," he sighed hopelessly. "Whatever you think works for me...I just hope I don't have another nightmare after my last one..."
"I'm insulting you because you're being a jerk," he deadpanned again. "And, since you're going to keep bringing it up until I ask about it, what nightmare?"
I tensed my hooves upon hearing him finally ask about it. I really didn't want to share it with anypony because I feared that they would think even less of me than they already do.
"You sure you want to know?" I whispered with unease. "It's really disturbing..."
"So is being turned into a pony-shaped pool of coffee that has to run away from everything trying to drink you up and being dragged off in the middle of the night by a bunch of foals to be turned back into one," he replied.
I scoffed at his description. After a whole week of experiencing the unthinkable myself, nothing surprises me anymore.
"Alright," I whispered almost submissively. "But only if you promise two things."
"And what would that be?" he asked.
I leaned slightly closer to him making sure that nopony was eavesdropping.
"One," I whispered. "Obviously, you don't tell anypony else without my permission. And two, you don't belittle me after what I'm about to tell you right now. If you break either of these promises, I'll be packing my bags, leaving Ponyville forever and never coming back."
"Fine, whatever." he replied as he took another sip. "But, if you're going to run away at the slightest comment I make, I'm not chasing after you. I'm not dealing with one stuck-up colt who thinks that running away will solve anything." He sounded like he wasn't afraid to break his promises, but I felt like I could trust him as long as he doesn't say anything too insensitive.
"Alright," I whispered. "But remember, you promised."
Thus, I leaned even closer and lifted my right hoof to whisper in his ear. I told him everything I remember doing in my dream; breaking into Princess Celestia's castle, releasing Discord, becoming a Nightmare and killing everypony including Fluttershy and my own mother.
"I spent a whole hour trying to remember every detail," I whispered. "And then another two trying to forget that I ever dreamt it, because it made me realize how bucked up I really am..."
Thus, I sat back finishing my long description of the most horrifying dream anypony could ever have.
"Well," the shop owner replied. "You're right about one thing; you are bucked up." He finished off his drink with one final gulp. I was expecting him to freak out after sharing my disturbing dream with him. But he still remained calm throughout. "You really need to suck it up and go visit the shrinks that have been visiting ponies around town. And that doesn't count as belittling! It's a simple fact; you need professional help before you finally snap and do go crazy. That's what they're here for and why I still have the drugs they prescribed to me. I may have had some outside help, but they helped me get over a lot of my issues before that."
"Yeah," I sighed with so much guilt and remorse. "And no, I wasn't offended by that one bit...I was just thinking about going this morning, but I wanted to clear my mind first..."
"...I'm sorry...I'm sorry for treating you like this...This is exactly the reason why I hate myself so much. I can't do anything right...let alone talk to others. And I think that because I'm so hard on myself, I'm hard on others too..."
"Doesn't help that you fish for sympathy." he interrupted with another glance at the clock.
I ignored his comment. I didn't want to make things worse for myself. "So what have you got?" I asked.
He shrugged with his wings again. "I've got about four different types of medication that I can't pronounce the names of, if that's what you mean."
"Do they come with instructions?"
"Well," he continued taking a moment to think. "One has to be taken three times a day, two are twice a day, I think one can be taken once a day if you get too tired of the side-effects." He shrugged again. "I wouldn't recommend using all those at once. That's an overdose, and was my plan to get away from it all."
"I'll take the once-a-day prescription, please."
"I don't have it with me," he told me. "I only carry the three-a-day one so I can take it about mid-day. Doctor said it was safe to start giving me smaller doses spread out through the day instead of one big one at the start. I'll have to bring it tomorrow or something." He glanced up at the clock again. Was he expecting somepony or something?
"Alright," I sighed. "But...thank you...And...I'm sorry, sir..."
"I thought that I was the only one who could never forgive Fluttershy for making everypony live an illusion. But that doesn't mean I don't trust her."
"And thanks to you, I think I finally know what's important to me now; my friends...and my mother..."
"I may never forgive Fluttershy for what she did to us, and others may never forgive me for what I did to Twilight, but as long as I still have friends and my mother, then I'm more than willing to forget about it. That's why I came here in the first place; to forget about it all."
I finally got up and was willing to shake and make up. "Well, nice meeting you...My name's Neo Stream, by the way."
"And mine's Coffee Swirl," the pegasus said simply. "I'll bring the stuff tomorrow; see you then."
I was slightly disappointed that I couldn't shake his hoof, but then again, I guess it's the least I deserve.
"Thank you!" I smiled as I turned around ready to leave. "I'll be there in the morning!"
Little did I know that Fluttershy was standing right behind me in the queue. I accidentally gently bumped into her muzzle first.
"Watch where you're going, punk," Fluttershy said in a surprisingly intimidating tone of voice. I was truly shocked. I rarely see Fluttershy acting like this.
Before I could apologize to her, Coffee suddenly shoved a pill into my mouth and I almost choked on it. "Your coffee is on the counter," he said to Fluttershy. "Just leave your bits on the table and I'll get them." He then turned to me as Fluttershy walked up to the counter. "And you need to swallow, now; before you prove everypony who ever called you crazy or worse right."
Without hesitation, I swallowed as instructed. "Uh, s-sure," I stammered in surprise and embarrassment. "U-um...sorry...bye..." Thus, I quietly left the Beautiful Day Café.
Upon finally stepping outside the coffee shop, I felt a lot more relaxed than I was earlier. I didn't know why. Was it because I finally found somepony who almost felt the same way I did about Fluttershy? Or was it because I was relieved to finally stop talking to him? I wasn't sure.
But I did know one thing; everything I said to Coffee about realizing what's important to me now, I meant every single word.
And I was more than willing to move on.
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