AJ Drinks OJ

by Fluttrick

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2492

Read the title, and lock your doors, hide your OJ and sit back and enjoy!

"Applejack dear! You look utterly parched. Would you like a refreshment?"

"Ah suppose so Rarity. So, what do ya'll have in mind?"

"Well, I'm afraid the only thing occupying my fridge is a gallon of orange juice."

"Orange juice?"

"Yes. Now, would you like a glass Applejack?"

"Ah guess it couldn't hurt to try, could it?"

Note: This was my big brother's idea that he wanted me to write. Now go to your fridge, grab a gallon of orange juice to your computer desk and sit back, and enjoy.

Published 2012-08-28 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-16 01:45:36 UTC

Maybe One More Glass

Rarity opened her refrigerator then levitated the gallon of orange juice out, then popped off the cap and poured it into a small glass cup.

Orange. Applejack noted as she watched the liquid pour into the cup. Just like me.

"Here you go ,dear." Rarity passed the glass to her friend. "Drink up, now." Carefully holding the cup in her hooves, Applejack gave the drink a long stare as if it would grow eyes and stare back at her, then placed it to her mouth on the tip and gave it a quick sip.

If there was anyway to describe how the orange mare looked at that moment, it would be the two words bliss and heaven. Tangy and tart. She also noted, a sly grin spread across her face. Just how ah like it. Her grin turning into a wide smile and she chugged the rest of the glass down, taking a few seconds longer just to get every drop of it.

Lost in the world of tangy and tart, Applejack had forgotten completely of the unicorn who'd bestowed the all mighty gift from the gods unto her. "So..." Rarity began, waiting awkwardly for her friend to notice that she still existed and was standing right in front of her, which took about two minutes. "Are you satisfied?"

"Maybe one more glass." Applejack said, her voice calm, but her eyes wide, and her mouth almost drooling.

"Okay then. But this time, take your time with it, please! Sometimes you can be such a ruffian." Rarity snorted as she refilled the glass, which Applejack looked at as a mother looks at her newborn foal.

Struggling with all her might not to chug the whole thing down again, Applejack brought the tip of the glass to her mouth once more then, took a quiet controlled sip. The entire cup was shaking due to herself fighting back the urge to do just the opposite of what Rarity said.

Ah can't do this anymore! Applejack screamed in her mind. And that's exactly when she snapped.

"Dag nabbit!" Applejack cussed aloud. "Ah can't do this!" She then grabbed the entire gallon of orange juice from Rarity's counter, then dashed out the door.

She wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

(Later That Night...)

Knock Knock Knock

"Uh," Rarity moaned as she slid out from bed and stepped into her flip flops. "Now who could that be? This early in the morning. I swear if I find myself with baggy red eyes in the morning, whoever's at the door with be doing my laundry for the next two weeks. As if this day couldn't get any worse." Walking down the stairs and to the front door Rarity muttered angrily to herself. Opening the door, she came face to face with Applejack, who's eyes were wide awake and her features ever so alert.

"Rarity!" Applejack exclaimed, lunging at the unicorn with a hug. "Rarity, oh golly! I'm so so sorry for what ah did today. It's just that ah got so obsessed with that orange juice of yours that ah couldn't stop mah self. "

Rarity replied. "It's okay, Applejack. I forgive you, dear." She replied with a warm smile, which caused Applejack to smile as well.

"Thank ye kindly ,Rarity."

"Don't mention it ,Applejack. Now, would you like to come in for a glass of orange juice?" There was a long period of silence that followed afterwards. Then a burst of laughter among the two.

"Oh Rarity! Ye got me good there!" The orange mare winked.

Rarity's expression then turned flat. "No, I'm serious. I bought two gallons just in case you learned your lesson."

"Well, ah guess that's why they call ye the element of generosity, huh?" Applejack replied, her voice giving off a nervous ring which Rarity ceased to notice.

There were no further remarks as Applejack entered the boutique with her friend as they enjoyed the two gallons of orange juice together without any out of control disasters.

If only.

Here's what really happened.

The two mares entered the kitchen. One feeling complete and happy with her friend's descision. The other plotting her friend's betrayal and utter defeat, along with gaining two gallons of bliss and heaven.

"So Applejack, how was it?" Rarity asked as she retrieved the two gallons of orange juice.

"How was what?" Applejack replied.

"The gallon you stole from me?"

Blushing a tiny bit, the cowpony stated. "It was good."

"Good? How good?" Rarity asked curiously as she poured the juice into the glasses.

"TOO GOOD!" Applejack shouted as she lunged for the gallons, but was quickly denied as they were levitated away from her.

"I thought as much," Rarity smirked as she circled the crazed cowpony. "so you're gonna have to try harder to get these from me- AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" She was cut off as Applejack body slammed her against the boutique's carpeted floor, then caught the two gallons in a mid-air leap. Finally, she dashed out the door. One gallon in her mouth, the other wrapped in her tail.

Fatigued and out of breath from the unexpected body slam, Rarity dizzily. "Well, that was unexpected." Then she fainted, falling against the floor. Betrayed and utterly defeated, all according to plan, Applejack thought as she raced back to the farm, more specifically the apple cellar where she enjoyed her orange juice.

Arriving at the cellar, Applejack muttered with a sly grin on her face. "Hehe Rarity. Nice try but ye can't outsmart me-" Just then, the light bulb flashed on, revealing Twilight, Pinkie, and Rainbow standing in front of her. She then heard footsteps from behind and turned back to see Big Macintosh blocking the exit.

"Ah take it ya'll planned this didn't ye?" Applejack asked, her eyes scanning the room for an answer. Everypony nodded silently.

Stepping forward, Twilight began to do what she did best - lecture! "When I heard from Rarity about the mishap that had occurred today, I had a certain suspicion that there was more to it than just a simple misbehavior." Grinning Twilight continued. "From what Rarity told me, about how you reacted, I knew all the symptoms immediately."

"What symptoms? Ah'm not sick! Ah just want to enjoy mah orange juice in privacy!"

"No, you aren't sick ,Applejack. You just had a reaction of some sort. Since the apple has run in your family for generations, your body isn't used to eating or drinking other fruits other than the one it is used to. Leading to the conclusion that-"

"Look ,Twilight," Applejack interrupted. "ah don't care about your sciencey doo dah! Ah just want to drink my orange juice!!!"

With a sigh, Twilight closed her eyes and said. "I didn't want to do this the hard way, but you leave us no choice but to bring you to rehabilitation." Turning to everypony else, Twilight gave the signal for them to close in and neutralize the target.

"No, you won't take me! Not without one last drink!" Applejack screamed as she began chugging down the first gallon.

She never finished it as she was dog piled by her friends and family, long enough to knock her out.

When everypony got off her, all they could do was stare in pity. There she lay AJ, in a puddle of her own OJ.

The next morning, she was taken to Canterlot to begin her first day of rehabilitation. At home in her library, Twilight and Spike sat down to write their weekly letter to the Princess.

"Dear Princess Celestia," Twilight began.

"Yesterday I learned that too much of one thing can never lead to anything good. It can make you obsessive and possibly even make you to betray your own friends. Today, Applejack was sent off to Canterlot for her long period of healing. We should have been more careful, but what's done is done, and all I can say is that when AJ drinks OJ, lock your doors and hide your orange juice."

Note: Hey guys! In case you haven't noticed, I marked the fiction as incomplete so that readers would track it, 'cause I'm making an alternate ending and possibly an epilogue soon. Other than that, I have nothing much to say.

-Fluttrick

Alternate Ending

Note:I would like to give a big thanks to mageli7 for giving me the idea and inspiration to make this alternate ending. Enjoy!

With a sigh, Twilight closed her eyes and said. "I didn't want to do this the hard way but you leave us no choice but to bring you to rehabilitation." Turning to everypony else, Twilight gave the signal for them to close in and neutralize the target.

"No, ya'll won't take me and my OJ!" Applejack shouted, then leaped over to the nearest cider barrel and bucked it at her older brother with all her might. Big Mac, with his large bulky body, wasn't fast enough to move out of the way. And so the barrel sent him reeling backwards and out of commission.

With the opportunity at hoof, the cowpony leaped over her brother's unconscious body and began sprinting up the stairs.

"Don't let her get away!" Twilight shouted to her friends. "After her!" And with that, they all chased after Applejack into the night. Obviously they were outrun by her, everypony but Rainbow Dash, who flew after the silhouette of the OJ crazy maniac.

"You ain't getting away from me Applejack!" Rainbow shouted at Applejack.

"Don't get too cocky Rainbow! I still got one more trick up my sleeve." She then ran to the Apple Family Barn and shut the doors behind her as she went.

"Hey! Get back here!" The Pegasus shouted as she barged through the barn doors, only to find one gallon of orange juice in the middle of the room. "What the-" Just then the doors behind her slammed shut. "Applejack! Let me out of here! I swear, when I get out I'll kick your flank all the way to Canterlot!"

"You do that Rainbow!" Applejack replied. "In your dreams." She then disappeared into the night and wasn't seen until the very next day. But by then she was already in Manehattan.

(At Aunt And Uncle Orange's Apartment)

Knock Knock Knock

"Who is it?" Called Aunt Orange as she headed for the door.

"It's me, Auntie." Applejack replied from the other side of the door.

"Applejack? Is it really you?" Opening the door, Aunt Orange stared at her niece, studying how much she'd changed over the past few years. "Oh my, you've really grown up, haven't you deary?"

"Hehe, ah sure have, Auntie. Now, if you don't mind me asking, but do you have any beverages, such as, ah dunno, orange juice." This was followed by a period of silence, then a quick response from her aunt.

"Oh, of course, deary! You must be tired from your journey here. Your Uncle Orange has an entire company devoted to the making of orange juice. As a matter of fact, we have an entire fridge full of them right here in our apartment."

But by this time, Applejack had already gotten lost in the world of tangy and tart. After a moment or two, Applejack snapped back into reality.

"Well then, Auntie. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be headed to the kitchen."

"Well then, I'll accompany you. To, you know, show you around."

Applejack nodded nervously in response. If she was gonna pull off this heist, she needed to be secret about it this time. Or at least not get caught so quickly that she'll get tricked again. On her way to the kitchen, Applejack noticed a large door leading to the balcony outside, where she could make her escape.

Finally arriving at the kitchen, Applejack opened the door of the refrigerator. There, standing on each shelf, was a fully stocked supply of orange juice by the gallon.

"With that much orange juice, ah would be set for at least a month." The cowpony muttered under her breath.

"What was that, deary?" Aunt Orange asked.

With a sigh, Applejack decided to forget about secrecy.

(If you want a good laugh, then listen to this.

"Hey Auntie, look over there!" What? It was the only thing she could think of at the moment. And surprisingly it worked, as right after she'd said it her aunt looked in the direction she pointed at. Aunt Orange stared at nothing for an entire ten seconds, exactly enough time for Applejack to fill up her saddlebags with nearly half of the entire load, which weighed her down considerably. But luckily at the moment, a mad energy was surging through her body, urging her to move automatically.

By the time Aunt Orange realize what had happened, Applejack had already made her great escape, and made off with her booty.

With this much orange juice, this time she would be gone for at least a week or two.

(Stop music here.)

(A Week Or Two Later)

Back at Ponyville, the doors of the Apple Cider Cellar opened, allowing sunlight to course through it. Not only did it reveal a dazed and half-drunk Applejack, but it also revealed the fifteen gallons of OJ she'd brought with her. Sadly, it only lasted her four nights, the rest of the week was spent cradling her head between her hooves and muttering gibberish to herself as she drooled for more orange juice.

Twilight shook her head in pity at the poor, poor soul. Who'd have thought you used to be the town hero, Twilight thought to herself as she walked to Applejack's side. The orange mare didn't even bother to resist as the unicorn wrapped a thin blanket over her.

"Come on AJ, let's get you out of here already. Maybe a visit to the spa could fix you right up." Twilight suggested as they took the exit of the cider cellar one by one. "And maybe we could get you a cup of OJ, how does that sound?"

Finally regaining her sanity, Applejack droned. "No thanks, but ah could do for a mug of strong cider."

"That sounds like a great idea. Let's go let everyone else know you're back."

"Thanks Twi, and no hard feelings, right?" Applejack asked embarrassingly as they seated themselves onto a bale of hay and gazed into the cyan blue sky.

"Nope, no hard feelings here. As for the rest of them..." Silence followed, yet she never finished the sentence.

"Well, ah guess I could deal with that mah self. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be getting mah cider now. See ya'll later Twi." Applejack said as she departed for the Apple Family Barn.

"Bye AJ. And remember, no more OJ."

"Okay, ah'll try to remember that." The cowpony muttered as she entered the red barn doors, where the rest of her family awaited with warm smiles and long hugs.

And nothing terrible happened...the end.