Chapter 6: Arcane Awakening

My breath caught in my throat as I saw her, my mind stopping but for my observation of the emotions playing on her face.

Arcania Lulamoon, my very mother, standing before me, utterly terrified for what she knows is to come, and what I will not allow to happen. Not this time.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate having to terrify any pony so they can be corrupted, my damnest attempts to stop them proving fruitless. But this time, this one pony, is what threw me over the edge. It made my rage boil into my subconscious, rendering me uncaring to the pain and torment I brought upon myself while I practically melted my soul in the most desperate tries for freedom.

My efforts began to manifest as a headache in my body and mind, the former putting a hand to its head while clenching its eyes shut in pain. My magic began to spark, erratic bolts of orchid electricity arcing from my horn and covering my skin with a hot, stinging ache. My body fell to its knees while grasping at its head in agony, writhing and shaking as I felt lightning arc from my skin in searing bolts.

“Stop it!” My body shouted with immense strain, hardly noticeable through the agonizing haze on my senses.

‘No,’ I replied steadfastly, despite the blazing force wishing me to scream out. ‘No, no, no,’ I repeated, my mouth starting to twitch with each word on top of the electrical writhing. “No, no, no,” I began to speak, my words now merely louder in my mind as took back control of myself. “No! No! No!” I felt the arcs growing more powerful as my agony grew stronger, my magic building up within my body with the corruption strained incredibly in an attempt to hold me, though it started to weaken and crack until...

“NO!!” I shouted as I thrust my arms from my head, the last vestiges of corruption blasted from my body, a blast wave leading massive arcs of thunderous magic that shot out with incredible force. I shot my eyes open with my newly returned control, seeing the orchid electricity erupting from my body, striking everywhere across the room. My focus was returned to the two guards that travelled with me, one thrown into the bookshelf on the left and the other leaning back through a window on the right, magic pooling in my hands before thrusting them forward, another pair of writhing arcs jumping into them, adding their screams of agony onto the tumultuous cracks of thunder.

Their screams soon silenced however, my eyes perceiving no major damage to their bodies in the moment before I glanced back to my mother, seeing the happiness and relief at my freedom through the terror that still consumed her. I then looked to my left while standing up, seeing Sortilege Sloe with her back partway into a wall, my orchid lightning illuminating the normally light green face that was now as pale as the moon in horror. My steps were slow and steady as I begun to walk towards her, my thunderous tempest blew off the hood of the mage’s cloak, exposing the dull red mane and short horn that soon started to build up a bright green magic as her eyes clenched shut.

When I arrived before the unicorn, I quickly reached a hand to her horn, gripping it and using the magic overflowing from my body to easily snap it off, a shriek of pain sounding through the room with another soon following as I stabbed the horn into her hip. I then took both of my hands and grabbed the mage’s cloak, lifting her somewhat and pushing her further into the wall, a blazing glare meeting a terrified gape as I stared into her crimson eyes.

“Know this Sortilege Sloe,” I began, my voice echoing with power, “What I am about to do to you is a mercy compared to what you have wrought upon others.” I then blasted more magic through my hands, its immense current surging through the other unicorn, beginning to burn her clothing and sear her flesh.

My thunderous magic was pulled from my blazing rage, fueled by the pain I felt within my corruption. I recalled the utter constriction of the darkness while being unable to see or hear anything around myself, unable to even feel my own body while it was unconscious, and being forced around something that controlled my every move while awake. My corruption may have been created by Celestia, but the very pony before me had done so to a multitude of others, inflicting such torture onto those whom are unable to hold themselves together under that.

Those tortured ponies’ faces flashed through my mind, the honest terror I saw in them that was quickly transformed into a lustful façade which merely hid the suffering they’re going through, they instilled in me a rage that I blasted into the mare before me, making her scream at the top of her lungs. Her voice was broken from the agony of her flesh and organs beginning to melt, crimson vapour starting to pour out as if to show my vindication for those who were trapped in utter pain...

…just like the pain she was now in at my hands.

That revelation made me instantly cut off my magic, the blinding arcs that filled the room quickly evanescing as I pulled away from the wall, my mind only peripherally noticing Sloe flopping onto the floor as it was overrun with guilt. ‘What have I done?’ I asked in my mind, the knowledge of me doing to ponies what I despise them for doing to others weighing heavily in my soul.

A tortured gurgle pulled my attention back to reality, and made me look down and see the writhing mess of flesh and cloth that was Sortilege Sloe. I quickly blasted a bolt into her head, frying her brain and killing her instantly; a merciful death that should be the absolute worst of what I now saw that I should wreak upon others.

“T-Trixie?” A voice asked from behind me, making me turn around to see my mother sitting between the halves of a snapped table, a concerned and slightly fearful look on her face as she looked back at me.

I felt tears begin to roll down my face as I walked over to her, her expression becoming worried and comforting. I knelt down in front of her and hooked my arms around her, pressing my muzzle into her neck and crying into it, the crushing pain of my past fueling my grief.

The truth is, while I know and love my mother, my father is lost to us. Based on what my mother told me, she was a magician like myself. The Mystic Arcania, they called her, and she was brilliant! She was the best magician of her time, which even when the pure made up about two percent of the population back then, was still amazing. She managed to impress Celestia herself, making the princess visit her shows whenever she could.

However, that all came to a head in a particularly corrupt town, where she was performing like normal, wonder on many of the viewers’ faces, disdain on others. Those spiteful ponies eventually spoke up, interrupting her show and challenged her to incredibly lewd acts, and she quickly declined. However, the corrupt insisted and, while my mother did her best to hold them back, they managed to force themselves upon her with their power of ‘friendship’, taking her onstage while the cheering of the audience became louder with the change of pace.

The next thing my mother remembers was waking up with genital fluids covering her entire body and Celestia standing before her, looking at her with concern. The princess made sure she was alright before cleaning her up and bringing her back into her trailer, which had been mostly ransacked. The usually calm mare nearly burst into flames at that, resolving to work far more actively on cleansing Equestria and expressed her disappointment at herself for letting it get so bad. She also assure that she would send replacements for everything my mother had lost that she could replace, try to get back anything that couldn’t be replaced, and protect her against any further transgressions as best as she was able.

Those commitments only became bolstered weeks later, when my mother was found to be pregnant. That revelation was a bit a surprise, as both parties involved have to want it to happen (my mother only agreed in the utter heat of the moment, what with her mind being fucked into nonexistence), and even then, the probability is still very low.

My mother was helped back into performing a while later, the first few stints having Celestia physically there to protect her so that her reputation may be rebuilt safely, and the ones that came after having only a lingering threat that still kept the lewd hecklers at bay.

Those went on for months until her pregnancy developed to a stage where she couldn’t perform, and the princess paid for everything she could not until my birth, where she managed to find a pure nurse to deliver me. She was even more protective of us in the years of my youth, basically acting like a father to me and was extremely happy when I started my own performances, even if they were just between us.

However, all of that ended with the Luna-damned Sonic Rainboom. All the care and love, the peace and purity; it all vanished from her that day, turning her cold and corrupt. When she refused her personal studenthood to me, it was more that just a matter of giving the position to somepony who didn’t deserve it; it was a matter of betrayal. She betrayed me, my family... her family, and all for what? Some random pony who couldn’t control themselves?

While I can’t argue for turning her away, giving her to a doctor, or creating an entirely new position so she could keep track of that pony, she could have easily made both of us her students, with managing us not being much more difficult that with just one, and would give us the opportunity to be actual friends. But, no, I was deemed an accessory and me and my mother were pretty much enemies of the state with how much despised ‘being tricked into purity,’ as she said.

We had to lay low wherever we went for years while the rage built in me, making me desperate to do something to purify this world, and eventually I relented. I left my mother to become a magician of my own, to reestablish the Lulamoon legacy and fully spark the flames of revolution. And while my first performances were rough, harsh hacklers forcing me to be more violent than I liked, but eventually I became more stable, starting to light fires of purity wherever I went, all the way until the catalyst that was Ponyville...

Where Equestria froze back over, falling back into the old ways of corruption. Whereas my mother fell from the pushing of the state, I was felled by the pushing of mere townsfolk, making me feel disappointed, guilty... enraged. That is what pushed me to using the ‘accursed’ Alicorn Amulet in a desperate attempt to regain some ground, yet that attempt also failed.

It is only this third time that I am finally getting somewhere, having to have the princesses directly stand in my way in order to stop me, and while they may have for a while, they won’t any longer.

“There, there,” I heard my mother coo soothingly while my eyes were pouring into her shoulder, hardly ceasing as I pulled myself from my thoughts. I eventually pulled away while keeping my arms around my mother’s back to look into her somewhat damp face that still held a caring expression as she asked, “Are you alright?”

I paused, guilt taking over my mind as I turned back to look at the destruction I had just caused. “N-no,” I stuttered, turning back to my mother, “I-I mean, look at what I’ve done!” I closed my eyes and turned my head down as tears continued to stream down my face, staying there for several moments as I reminisced on my recent past. “All this violence and suffering...” I started, looking back at my mother, “How can I really be good when I cause all of that?” I asked, the determined demeanor I held to stave off the pain of my guilt finally unravelling.

“You don’t usually do... that, do you?” My mother asked softly, glancing to the mutilated mage for emphasis.

“No, but... I’m still killing them,” I replied, glancing away from my mother’s sad, though still concerned eyes. “I’m... taking away their life, a-and any potential for them to change or escape from their c-corruption, a-and...” I gasped as one particular mare came to mind; somepony I overlooked in my generalized observations, yet what I realized I did to them brought me far more grief than anything else. “Violet...”

I buried my face back into my mother’s shoulder and hugged her tighter, sobbing loudly with rivers pouring out of my eyes, the knowledge of me killing one of the three ponies I held affection for racked through me, shattering my confidence and making me give in to the pain.

I continued doing that for... a while, just letting my grief flow openly as I only now realized the full ramifications of my previous actions; disregarding love and not even trying to help others out of their corruption. I eliminated others without remorse, and now feeling what I had wrought upon myself, I truly knew how everypony else felt about what I’ve done.

My tears did eventually ebb however, though I remained clinging onto the once source of love I had left in this desolate, depraved world. I did soon realize that that source needed to know the reason for my anguish to help me, and so I begun, “Violet Gauze was... s-somepony I ran into in Manehattan, a-after I first got struck by l-lightning...” I felt my mother turn her head slightly to better focus on my words, so I continued, “She helped me after... t-that, and I could e-easily tell she was a fan of mine, a-and was so nice!”

I inhaled heavily through my nose and kept explaining, “She was a-a light, a beacon, in this darkness... but I wasn’t able to spend much time w-with her, b-because the royal guard came within minutes of me waking up.” Another deep breath and a gulp as I prepared for the worst of it; “W-when I was going through those towns... s-she was always on my mind, a-always something I thought of. I was captivated by her... a-and I quickly realized why... I loved her.” I took another pause before finishing, “But I soon r-realized what that meant, what I h-had to do... because I saw her get corrupted back in Manehattan.”

I heard a small gasp from my mother, and her grip on me tightened, staying that way for some time as she comforted me in silence. “W-well,” She eventually began, sorrow clearly audible in her voice, “Wherever she is now, it’s probably a better place than this.”

“I-it’s even worse,” I started before pausing with a deep breath. “B-because I now know t-that she could’ve gotten free... e-especially after I confessed to her...” I sniffed and continued before my mother could respond, “A-and it’s not just her I failed, it’s everypony... I-I didn’t even give them a chance...” My crying kept going as I pressed my face further into my mother’s shoulder.

Another silence descended upon the room, only my light sobs and sniffs breaking the air for several minutes before my mother finally spoke up. “Everypony makes mistakes, Trixie,” She said, her voice comforting despite the lament it was replete with. “Others may not have made at the same scale you have, but you’ve done much more than them as well,” She continued, my sadness beginning wane as I paid more attention to her.

“A lot of ponies are content living in this horrible world, or at least they don’t try to do anything about it.” I felt her loosen her grip and pull back, prompting me to let her lean back far enough to look into my eyes. “But you have. You have thrown your own life to the wind in order the make the world a better place, and you’re succeeding with it,” She said in a proud tone, and while the words seemed to contradict my own, she seemed to be going somewhere with it. “You’ve managed to defeat the Elements themselves, forcing the diarchs to take direct action against you. The only being that’s ever done that before was Eris.”

I gasped as the realization struck me: I was a force to be reckoned with, and was on the cusp of revolution for the second time in my life, only this time, I had far less to lose. “You are so close to changing everything, Trixie, to freeing everypony. I know you can do it,” My mother said encouragingly as she smiled at me. “You may have made mistakes in the past, but the only way to do right by them is to learn from them and change your actions for the future.”

That made sense; I can’t keep wallowing in my past, I won’t be able to move on like that. There’s too much at stake, and too little time to get dragged down. I smiled back at my mother and pulled an arm away from her to wipe my eyes before slowly replying, “T-thank you... for everything.”

My mother merely smiled brighter at me for a few moments until my emotions became grim. “Unfortunately,” I started, then pulled away from my mother and grunted as I stood up. “I don’t think we have much more time here. The princesses probably already know what’s happened, and are coming to get us,” I said while taking my mother’s hand and pulling her up.

“Yes, probably...” My mother responded with a solemn tone as she looked downwards. “I don’t really have much of value here, but there is one thing,” She soon continued as she walked over to the wardrobe. She looked around in it for a moment before pulling out something very familiar: a vivid purple cape and hat with shimmering golden and silver stars strewn about them.

I gasped as I saw them, confusion and surprise immediately eclipsed by elation as nostalgia filled me, memories of the
performing that I loved so much flipping trough my mind; the wonder and awe on the fillies’ faces as well as the surprise and disbelief on the mares’ that filled me with so much joy, all rushing back into me. “I assumed you lost your originals, so I made a copy,” My mother said, temporarily pulling my attention to her.

I was entranced by the outfit as I slowly walked over to them and plucked them out of my mother’s violet magic, turning them over in my hands and feeling their enchanted silky touch. Tears began to flow form eyes once more, though now from joy as I hugged the outfit tight to my chest, vowing to never again forget them or the memories they gave me.

I soon took the hat and placed it on my head, then wrapped my cape around my neck, clasping it together with the bright sapphire brooch. I looked myself over, the old ensemble lightly billowing in the wind from the broken window, helping to compliment the open black clothing I still wore, making me feel empowered with the confidence I held in my past.

“And now,” I begun quietly, “It is time,” I felt for the illusionary magic I was once known for, “For the return,” I continued with my ardency returning, “Of the Great and Powerful TRRRRRIXIE!!” I shouted to the heavens as I did a quick spin, then thrust my arm up and froze with a wink, my fervor having finally returned in full force.

I saw and heard my mother applauding happily, her face reflecting and amplifying my elation as she slowly approached me, then wrapped her arms around me, myself doing the same. “T-thank you so much,” I stuttered out with tears once more flowing down my cheeks. “There’s no way that I can ever repay what you’ve done for me.”

“Really?” My mother asked with slight incredulity as she pulled back, making me slightly confused as I looked back at her. “I don’t think the entire world can repay you for what you’re trying to do, Trixie,” She said while pulling an arm to my face and wiping away my tears with her thumb, filling me with a sense of love and purpose I’ve been lacking for a decade.

“Well,” I started with my smile becoming slightly sheepish as I pulled away from my mother, though keeping an arm on her shoulder. “I still thank you for everything.”

My mother let out a small giggle, but I quickly interrupted it by pulling my arm further around her as I crouched down to wrap my other around her legs. “Whoa!” She yelped as I lifted her up, a rosy blush lighting up her dark blue cheeks as she looked back at me.

“We should probably get out of here. Are you ready?” I asked, oddly feeling hardly strained with the weight of another pony in my arms.

“Give me a moment,” My mother said, lighting up her horn as she looked over to the wardrobe. A dark red purse carried by a violet aura soon flew out of it, landing on my mother’s chest, where she gripped it tightly to herself. “Alright, let’s go.”

I gave her a nod and opened the door with my magic, then got into a slight crouching position and felt the electrical magic within my body begin to charge up, crackling through my nerves with an incredible power that reminded me of the power I held in the world. An ardent grin crept onto my face as the orchid thunder began to arc around my body, sparking and sizzling through the air with a power that continued to build until I finally launched.

I was out the door in an instant, a quick turn redirected me through an empty street, which I tore through until I hit the shore, where I went blazing across the tainted waters into the cool sunset, winds whipping by me in a way that finally made me at peace.

Author's Note

Eris is female Discord, if you didn’t know.