"Do I, Rainbow Daring Dash, need help?!" Rainbow was in the air, flinging her arms around, which wasn't the smartest thing when holding a hot pan.
The earth pony in front of her blinked slowly, and replied, "Yes, Dash. Cuz it seems like ya'll don't know how to cook."
The pegasus responded by flinging more food and hot oil out of her pan and onto the floor. "Of course I know how to cook. I mean, what does it look like I'm doing?" She glanced around her, and saw that all of the vegetables she had been trying to prepare for her marefriend were now making an abstract art piece of the floor below her. "Don't answer that."
The cowpony shook her head and got out a broom, planning on cleaning up at least some of the mess that had been made. "Ya know, there ain't no shame in not knowin' how to cook, Dash. It takes a whole heap o' practice, and even more patience, neither o' which you have when it comes to cooking. Especially not patience."
Rainbow hung her head sheepishly, lowering herself back onto the ground. She knew that Applejack didn't like it when she flew inside the house, and though she wasn't flying particularly fast, she still thought it best for everypony if she returned to the now-messy floor. "Yeah, practice makes perfect, I get it, but I'm a grown mare. I'm a Wonderbolt, for crying out loud! I should be able to feed myself better than going out to eat everyday for every meal. And I should definitely be able to treat my marefriend to a nice homemade dinner when she comes home from bucking apples all day..." Rainbow would not have used the word "pout", but that was definitely what she was doing.
Applejack, seeing Dash in distress and figuring that asparagus strewn about was the least of anypony's worries, went to comfort her. And by comfort her, she of course meant a soft pat on the back. Dash didn't particularly like all the mushy stuff that came with relationships, and so they had both come to the agreement that kisses and hugs and crying and everything else in those cheesy romance novels that Rarity reads were not for them, or at the very least had very few places where they would be okay. In the middle of the kitchen was definitely not the place for getting super mushy.
"Y'know Dash, Ya can't be the best at everythin'." Applejack reassured her.
Rainbow sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know. And I'm fine with not being the best at a lot of stuff. Like teaching stuff, or learning stuff, or apple-bucking. But I'd like to be good at this! I mean, I got a book from Twilight and everything. It had a million notes on what exactly to do and what not to do, like all her books seem to have, but I still found a way to mess it up."
Applejack laughed a bit. "You were always the best at messin' stuff up, RD," Understandably, this did not make Rainbow feel better, "but Ah love ya for it."
Rainbow glowered slightly at the mare who was supposedly comforting her. "First of all, ow. Second, we talked about the "L" word. You know I... love you too, AJ, but-"
"Ya kinda needed it. Ah mean lookit you, cryin' over spilled milk. Or, uh, spilled... Are those peaches?"
"Well duh. You've gotta have peaches. They're awesome!" She corrected herself quickly, "I mean... not as awesome as apples, obviously, but have you had a peach recently? They're in season, and I swear I've never had something so juicy."
Applejack shook her head and sighed. "Dash, you're not s'posed to... nevermind. Just know that Ah do love ya, and that ya don't have to learn to cook to impress me. We're past that part in the "dating process"." Applejack remembered the guide that Twilight gave them to follow when she learned they were going out together. Apparently, they were on Step 28. Neither of them knew what that meant, as the only pony who kept track anymore was Twilight, but they knew that they were past needing to impress one-another.
"Yeah, I know, Step Whatever or whatever. But I don't need to do this for you, I want to!"
AJ sighed, knowing that this probably wasn't going to end well. "If Ah teach ya how ta cook, will that make ya happy?"
Rainbow thought about it for a second. "I kinda wanted to do this on my own," she smiled devilishly at her marefriend, "but I guess getting taught by the best cook for miles wouldn't be the worst thing ever."
"Atta girl. Now, ya kinda just used the last of-" Applejack surveyed the items on the floor once again, "-just about everythin' tryin' ta make... whatever that was. So how about we go out for dinner tonight and we get started tomorrow, huh?"
Once again, the pegasus was in the air. "Ooh, where are we going?! How about The Lobster Claw? I've heard it's good, and it's got such a cool name. Come on, AJ, we've got to go there!"
Applejack scrunched up her face. She knew about that place, and their rather excessive seafood menu. "An' who exactly did ya hear those reviews from?"
"I dunno. I think I heard Gallus talking about it with Gabby after his classes a few days ago. Why?" A lightbulb lit inside her head, and she gasped loudly. "You don't think they're dating, do you? We could do a little double-date! Now that he's all grown-up, it won't be that weird for us to hang out outside of school, and-"
"Rainbow," Applejack interrupted. "What do Griffons eat?"
Rainbow lowered herself to the ground once again, confused as to why this particular question had come up, and what it had to do with the best idea she'd had all week. "I don't know, exactly. I know they eat regular pony food most of the time. Though Gilda was known for her Steak Saturdays. You shoulda seen it, it was disgusting." Another lightbulb went off in her head, but this one didn't make her feel any smarter. "Oh! Meat! Right... Cuz ponies don't eat meat. And The Lobster Claw probably sells a lot of meat."
Applejack smiled and brushed Rainbow's mane gently with one hoof. "Ya got there. Eventually."
It was Rainbow's turn to smile, as yet another lightbulb lit up. Three in one afternoon. She was crushing it. Eat dirt, Princess Twilight, Ruler of Equestria. "And you'll eventually make it to The Bouquet. Race ya!"
And like that, the rainbow blitz was out the door, a multi-colored trail leading out the front door.
Applejack took a deep breath and sighed. "Ah swear, that mare is gonna be the death of me someday."
A giant monster with 5 eyes and 7 limbs had crashed through one of the walls of the Apple Family house, and was making its way towards the apple orchards. Two ponies sat just inside the house, staring at it as it lumbered its way over to its next meal.
"Why? Why does this always seem to happen?" Rainbow Dash was muttering to herself, and was wrapped in a one-armed hug from her special-somepony. They had never talked about including hugs into fights with monsters, or after creating one, but neither mare was complaining.
"Should we get the girls for this?" Applejack asked as the creature seemed to almost absorb some of the trees. They'd need to be replaced. Maybe she could get away with just moving some of the trees in the further orchards closer instead of getting completely new ones.
"Twilight's in Canterlot, as always, and Rarity is out of town as well. I think we should just call Starlight."
Applejack groaned. "We can't keep gettin' Starlight to fix our problems. She said she'd have to start gettin' paid for it, and Ah don't think she was jokin'."
"Starlight? Having us, her friends, pay her for helping us solve a problem? I don't think she'd do that." The monster had consumed enough apples, apparently, and was now making its way to Ponyville. Thankfully, it was moving slowly, and Ponyville proper was still a ways away.
"Ah think she's bein' more honest than ya give her credit fer."
"Sure, Miss Honesty, but she's always loyal to her friends, especially when they're friends in need."
Applejack sighed and trotted over to her hat, which was on the opposite side of the house. "Either way, we're gonna have ta call her. She'll end up solvin' this sooner or later, so we might as well make it sooner," and so she started trotting down the road to the Castle of Friendship.
The Wonderbolt caught up with her in no time at all. "So the usual then? Run into Ponyville screaming about a monster while you get help?"
AJ caught Rainbow by surprise with a quick peck on the lips, making the pegasus blush and falter slightly while flying, though she was quick to correct herself. "Ya read my mind, Dash."
"Hey! No fair! I'm so getting you back after this."
"Ah'd like ta see ya try, slowpoke!" And with that, she ran off to the path to the Castle.
Rainbow almost gave chase, but turned around as a deep rumble that could generously be described as a scream came from the monster. Rainbow sighed and headed towards town. "That crazy cowpony will get me killed someday, just watch."
