Games Villains Play

by BronyWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Tirek, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow
Length: 5064

Cozy Glow, Tirek and Chrysalis are bored, so they find ways to entertain themselves.

Ever since Grogar brought Tirek, Cozy Glow, and Queen Chrysalis together, they haven't spent a lot of time doing evil like they wanted. In fact, Grogar mostly has them hanging out in a cave underground. With the boredom that comes with it, the three of them have to find ways to pass the time.

Written for the Cozy Glow contest.

Published 2020-09-03 01:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-03 01:10:05 UTC

Too Much Free Time

"Uuugh, I'm so booorreed!"

Tirek looked up from where he'd been tossing small rocks at the wall and glared at the filly flittering around the cave. "We're all bored, Cozy, and you don't need to say it for the hundredth time this minute!" He looked back down at his small pile and picked up another rock to toss at a dented spot in the wall. "It's not safe to go out and get things too often.

"But Tiirreeekkkk, I can't just throw rocks at the wall all day like you do!" Cozy whined. "I gotta do something! I've never been so bored in my life! When's Grogar gonna come back and tell us when we can go beat up Twilight and her friends?"

"The child is both right and annoying," Chrysalis said from the flat rock she had been lounging on. "I am a changeling! Surely I can go out and at least kidnap a pony for us to drain."

"But I can't drain ponies like you guys can," Cozy said, landing next to Chrysalis and frowning at her. "Not yet, anyways. Once I'm the empress of Equestria, I can do whatever I want!"

Chrysalis frowned and sat up. "Who said that you're the one who is going to be in charge of everything once we destroy Celestia and her puny subjects?"

"I thought we were going to split Equestria," Tirek said, walking over to the pile of stones he'd thrown and scooping them back up. "Unless, of course, you want to battle for supremacy once we've taken over." He gave the other two a nasty grin. "I am more than happy to take that course of action."

Cozy rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Tirek. "Whatever. When I'm powerful, I can do whatever I want!"

"Sure, sure," Tirek grunted as he began throwing the stones at the wall again. "You'll be powerful and everypony will love you and you'll rule for the rest of time blah, blah, blah."

Chrysalis grunted and laid back down. "Whatever. Either way, no more complaining about how bored you are, or I'll blast you myself and rid us of your incessant whining."

"Well we gotta do something," Cozy said.

"I am doing something," Tirek said.

"You've been throwing the stones for the past two hours," Cozy grumbled. "I meant something fun!"

"We could play hoofball with the annoying filly," Chrysalis said, giving Cozy Glow a nasty grin. We can even make up rules as we go along."

"Say, that's an idea," Tirek said, copying Chrysalis's grin. "We can throw her back and forth, or maybe see who can throw her the farthest."

"You guys are the worst," Cozy snapped. "I should just take over Equestria by myself!"

"Oh, I'm sure that would work just fine," Chrysalis said with a light laugh. "I seem to recall that you tried once and didn't actually manage to succeed."

Cozy Glow narrowed her eyes and flew over to Chrysalis, going nose-to-nose with her. "Neither. Did. You."

Chrysalis bared her teeth and ignited her horn as she shot to her hooves. "You insolent child!" she roared. "If it weren't for that pretty pink princess and her silly husband, I would have taken over all of Equestria, which would mean that you would also be in a cocoon right now!"

"I'd say that this is the first interesting thing to happen in a while if you hadn't had this argument a dozen times already," Tirek grumbled.

"Whatever," Cozy said crossing her forelegs and flittering away from Chrysalis. "I still want to think of something to do." She looked down at the rocks Tirek had been gathering and studied them for a moment. Her eyes widened and a smile crossed her face. "We could play a game! We can use these rocks as to play checkers or chess, or something like that."

"Hm. It's not the worst idea," Chrysalis said, lighting her horn and levitating a few of the rocks over to her. "I have always had an affinity for chess. I enjoy manipulation and mind games you play with your opponent as you attempt to dominate them." She chuckled to herself and rotated one of the stones in her magic. "And doing it on the chessboard is also quite enjoyable."

"Why would you manipulate when you can just crush?!" Tirek said. "There is no need for manipulation when your opponent is lying on the ground, drained of all magic and hope."

"You're an idiot," Cozy said as she took a stick and began drawing a chess board on the floor. Chrysalis levitated the rest of the rocks over to her and began carving symbols into them to represent each of the chess pieces. "Not everything can be solved with fists and magic draining."

"We shall agree to disagree," Tirek said.

Chrysalis gave Tirek a smirk as she began setting up the makeshift chess board. "Do you even know how to play?"

"Of course I do!" Tirek roared, slamming his hoof on the ground. "Like you said, it's... you know... manipulate and... move your pieces..." He growled and stomped another hoof. "You destroy your opponent!"

"I guess so," Cozy said with a shrug. She picked up a rock that said "WHT RK" on it. "What does this piece do?"

"That's simple, child," Tirek said, snatching the piece out of Cozy's hooves. "You use it to... to... move it and destroy your opponent's pieces."

Cozy and Chrysalis exchanged an amused glance. "And how exactly do you do that?" Chrysalis asked.

"You..." Tirek threw the piece down on the ground. "Okay, fine! It may have been a few decades or centuries or whatever since I've played!"

"That's okay, Mister Tirek," Cozy said, sitting behind the white pieces. "You can watch us and learn all about it!"

Tired scowled, but sat down next to the board as Chrysalis and Cozy began playing. The cave was silent for several minutes as the two players moved their pieces around. Tirek looked down at the board, then at Cozy, then at Chrysalis, then back to the board.

"So Chrissy, is it bad if the filly moves that piece there and takes that other piece there?"

"Hey!" Cozy shouted as Chrysalis examined the board.

"Hmm..." Chrysalis rubbed her jaw. "Yes, I do think that would be a bad thing, yes. I hadn't noticed. Thank you."

Cozy glared daggers at Tirek and ground her teeth together. "I was gonna take that piece and really put her in a bad position!"

Tirek smirked at Cozy and shrugged. "Well, I can't help it if I'm asking questions. I need to remember how to play this game, remember?"

Chrysalis chuckled and nudged her piece out of the way. "The centaur is right, child. You learn best by asking questions."

"Most certainly," Tirek replied. "Questions like is it bad if Cozy moves her piece there to block you there?"

"I... you..." Chrysalis's eye twitched as Cozy gave her a smug smile and moved her piece accordingly.

"Well golly, Chrysalis, I think you're right. Tirek can learn best by asking all kinds of questions."

"No more questions, then!" Chrysalis snapped. "Learn by observation only! Chess is a silent game unless you have to say something related!"

"Like checkmate?" Cozy asked.

Chrysalis nodded. "Yes, exactly. Like checkma--" Chrysalis looked down at the board where Cozy's rook and queen had checkmated Chrysalis. Energy began sparking out of Chrysalis's horn as she ground her hoof into the floor. "I will end the both of you."

"Maybe chess isn't your game then, dear ol' Chrissy," Tirek said, nudging Chrysalis's side. "Perhaps Go Fish would be better. Or maybe Hangmare? Candyland, perhaps?"

"Or checkers," Cozy said. "You wanna play checkers, Mister Tirek?" She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow. "Unless you don't know how to play checkers either."

"Of course I know how to play checkers, child!" Tirek cried, pushing Chrysalis aside. "You move diagonally and jump over your opponent's pieces and crush them!"

"Always about crushing with you, isn't it?" Chrysalis said, idly examining a hoof. "When you were born, did you have most of your brains scooped out to replace with brawn?"

"Careful, cockroach, you're trying my patience." Tirek began putting the pieces back on the chessboard, flipping them over to the blank side. Once it was set up, he pushed a piece forward. "This game is simple enough that even you could not mess it up. Why, I recall the days long ago when my brother and I used to play this game."

"Did you even win?" Cozy asked as she pushed of her checkers over to one of Tirek's.

"Of course I did!" Tirek snapped, moving one of his pieces. "I had a five hundred and ninety-five win and twelve loss record. He couldn't play checkers if his life depended on it, and given how we grew up, I tried to make sure that it did."

"Liar."

Tirek turned his head and glared at Chrysalis while pushing another piece forward. "What did you say, cockroach?"

"I called you a liar."

"Jump... jump... jump..."

"How dare you," Tirek spat. "Who are you to accuse me of lying?"

"I am a shapeshifter skilled in infiltration," Chrysalis replied, buffing a hoof on her chest. "I can lie better than anybody in all of Equestria, which means that I can spot one when I see one. You're not very good."

"Jump... jump... king me... jump..."

"I am a fantastic liar!" Tirek insisted. His face fell for a moment as he realized what he had just said, doing his best to ignore Chrysalis's triumphant look. "I... er... I was very good against my brother."

"I'd be surprised if you even won one game."

"Uh, Mister Tirek, sir?"

"Quiet, child, the cockroach and I are having words," Tirek growled before turning his attention back to Chrysalis.

"But--"

"I'm wonderful at checkers," Tirek said through gritted teeth, which only elicited an amused snort from Chrysalis. "I could beat you, the child, and even Celestia at checkers! With one hand behind my back! And no magic! And blindfolded! My brother only won those twelve games because I felt sorry for him and let him win!"

"Mister Tirek--"

"Celestia is famously horrible at checkers, so I doubt that beating her in that way would be anything to write home about."

"Luna, then!"

"She's worse."

"Enough!" He whirled back around to face the board. "When I destroy the child, we'll play next! Then I'll show you just... how..." Tirek blinked in confusion and scanned the board. "Where are my pieces?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Cozy said as she pointed to a stack of makeshift checkers next to her. "I took all of your pieces."

"I... you..." With a mighty roar, Tirek swept all of the rocks off of the board as Chrysalis burst out laughing. "That doesn't mean anything! I wasn't paying attention!"

"Well, if you're as good as you say, that shouldn't have mattered," Chrysalis said between laughs. "What was it you were saying about one hand behind you back, blindfolded with no magic?" She chuckled and patted Tirek's head. "Maybe checkers is a little advanced for you. Perhaps you'd be better suited to a challenging game of Go Fish? A riveting game of Hangmare that's already half filled in for you? Perhaps a game of Candyland for the ages!"

"ENOUGH!" Tirek swiped his hand at her, but she effortlessly hopped back. "I grow bored of these silly pony games!"

"Well okay, then," Cozy said as she gathered up all of the rocks she could around her for possible later use. "I don't know a lot of other games to play, unless one of you has a deck of cards I don't know about."

"No, no, the one I have in mind isn't as complicated as that," Tirek said with a wave of his hand.

"Shocker," Chrysalis muttered.

Cozy frowned at Chrysalis. "Well, if it's real easy, then it'll be real fast for all of us to learn, and then we might have a lot of fun!"

"Quite right, quite right," Tirek replied with a nod. "It's a game that I played often with my brother growing up."

"You already said that you didn't want to play checkers anymore," Chrysalis pointed out.

Tirek's eye twitched, but his confident smile returned. "No, no, this one is simple. It's called... chicken."

Cozy raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Chicken? I don't think I've ever played that before."

"You should. It's quite fun. First, you go on opposite sides of the room." Tirek picked Cozy up by the scruff of her neck and deposited her at the far end of the cave before taking a place opposite her. "Then, you run at each other full speed, and the first person to jump out of the way loses! Readysetgo!"

Cozy's eyes widened, and she flared her wings out. "Wait! Hold on a--"

Tirek slammed into her, sending her flying back into the cave wall. She hit it with such force that she went right through, leaving a Cozy Glow-shaped hole in the wall. Tirek burst out into laughter and thumped his chest. "The other way to win is if you knock your victi-- er... opponent over!"

A groan came from the Cozy-shaped hole in the wall, and after a moment, Cozy crawled out of it, covered in dirt with a few bruises dotting her coat. She flopped on the ground and rolled onto her back. "Fun game. So fun that I don't know if I ever want to play it again because it'll ruin the memory of how fun that was."

"Well if you're going to be a spoilsport about it..." Tirek turned to Chrysalis. "Readysetgo!"

Tirek charged at Chrysalis at full speed, but didn't make it more than a few feet before a blast of green magic knocked him off of his hooves, sending him flying into the opposite wall. Chrysalis gave him a bored grunt and tapped her jaw.

"I didn't charge at you myself, so I sent a beam of magic to replace me. Is that cheating, or did I do it right?"

"That is cheating," Tirek growled, slowly getting back to his hooves.

"Well to be fair, you didn't really specify if you had to charge with yourself, or if you could use magic," Cozy Glow pointed out. "I mean, it's not like she used a real complex spell or anything like that." She tilted her head in thought. "I guess if you think about it in a physics sense, you running at her created a kind of energy too, so she just used a different kind to--"

"Your silly physics have no use in this cave!" Tirek snarled. "She cheated!"

Cozy gave Tirek a confused look. "I"m pretty sure that physics is everywhere. Every action ha--"

"No physics!" Tirek stomped up to Chrysalis and glared down at her. "We're going to play again, and this time, you're not going to cheat using your magic."

"I think not," Chrysalis said airily as she glided back to her rock and flopped back down on it. "You two can have your stupid chickens and checkers. I for one have grown bored of this silly affair."

"Maybe chicken is a bad idea..." Cozy glanced over at Tirek who was giving Chrysalis a most impressive scowl. "But there have to be other games. Do you know of any others, Mister Tirek?"

"Most certainly. There's Smash the Coconuts as well." Tirek grabbed Cozy again and brought her to eye level. "We headbutt each other until one person gives up and the other wins. I was quite good at that one with my brother as well."

Cozy squeaked in fear as he leaned his head back and managed to wiggle out of Tirek's grasp before he headbutted her, causing his attack to hit nothing but air. "That doesn't sound like a fun game to me, Mister Tirek," Cozy said with a glare as she landed next to him. "There have got to be better ones than that. Aren't there games that changelings play?"

"Of course, child, of course," Chrysalis said with a wave of her hoof. "There's Bandersnatch, Kick the Head, Punch 'Till Green, Smear the Weakling, Punch the Puppy Picture, or a real puppy when we can get one, which was only once if I remember right, and it turned out not to be a puppy..." She straightened out and rested her head on her hoof in thought. "Stalliongrad Roulette was a common one for a while there. Risk was popular until I banished it because there was one upstart little grub who kept beating me at it." Her eyes lit up. "Oh, and Thimblethwacker! Yes, that one was always my favorite."

"Thimblethwacker?" Tirek frowned and tilted his head. "What in the world is that?"

"Oh, it was the most delightful game," Chrysalis purred. "Everyling grabbed a few big rocks and began throwing them around at other lings. The first one to be knocked unconscious was tied to the spinning Thimblethwack Stone while everyling pelted him with the rocks we had lying around from the first round. If he wasn't dead by the time the song ended, we untied him and crushed him with a gigantic stone!" Chrysalis giggled and clapped her hooves together. "I have such fond memories of that game."

"W-wow," Cozy whispered. "Golly, that sounds real violent!"

"Then you see the appeal," Chrysalis said. "It was a wonderful way to weed out the weak." She shrugged. "Or, you know, the unlucky."

"I didn't even know that changelings knew how to write songs," Cozy said.

Chrysalis glared at Cozy and sat up. "Of course we do, child! The Thimblethwacker song has been passed down for countless generations! Let's see..." Chrysalis stood up and cleared her throat.

"Tell me she isn't," Tirek groaned.

"Round and round the Thimblethwack Stone goes!"

"She is," Cozy replied.

"When it will stop, noling knows! You've failed to dodge the Thimblethwack rocks! Perhaps you should have stayed in a box! Your dodging and throwing skills were subpar! You moved and dodged like you were trapped in tar! Now you find yourself in a bind. Being pelted by rocks by your own kind!"

"Make it stop," Tirek grumbled as he facepalmed.

"Is she even on key?" Cozy whispered to herself.

Chrysalis began bouncing in place and fluttering her wings. "Our glorious hive will be better without you! If you were awake, you'd know it was true!"

"Rhyming 'you' and 'true' is kind of a stretch, isn't it?" Cozy said. Tirek only grunted in disgust in return.

"Now you're tied to the Thimblethwack Stone don't you see? Being pelted by rocks by those numbering more than three. Now the stone is almost done, and when it stops, our hive will be miiiiiiinuuuusssss..." Chrysalis took in a deep breath and struck an epic pose. "OOOONNNNEEEEEEE!!!"

The cave was completely silent once Chrysalis finished her song. She stared down smugly at the other two, who just gave her blank looks. After a few moment's Chrysalis's smile faded into a look of annoyance.

"Well? What did you think?"

"Uh..." Cozy exchanged a look with Tirek. "It sounds... interesting. You're saying this was fun for you?"

"Oh yes." Chrysalis gave them a light laugh. "It was an absolute blast."

"I see." Tirek gave a quiet scoff and shook his head. "Thimblethwacker. Is that even a real word?"

"It's a sort of loose translation of Old Changeling," Chrysalis admitted. "In our old tongue it's pronounced..." Chrysalis bared her teeth, flared out her wings and snarled and hissed at the other two for several seconds.

"Uh... how exactly do you get 'Thimblethwacker' from that?" Cozy asked.

"It's quite simple once you know all of the vowels, child," Chrysalis replied. "I will grant that Old Changeling isn't a very... subtle language."

"Riiigghhht." Cozy opened her mouth to say something else, but her eyes widened when another thought crossed her mind. "Wait, that hissing reminded me: back in Twilight's friendship academy, there's a changeling named Ocellus, and she talked about a game her hive played that was just like Thimblethwacker!"

"Indeed?" Chrysalis said, raising her eyebrow. "My currently-former-soon-to-be-regained subjects still play Thimblethwacker?" She smirked and made a thoughtful noise. "Perhaps they are not as far gone as I had originally feared."

"I dunno. She called it Thimblefluffer," Cozy said. "She told me that they played it by having a big pillow fight, and the first changeling that got knocked down was 'it.'"

Chrysalis's eye twitched.

"Everyling else got in a big circle and sang the Thimblefluffer song, and while they were singing, the changeling who was 'it' had to do a silly dance in the middle until the song stopped, then everybody all fell down and laughed and usually had cookies and tea and hot chocolate." Cozy tapped her jaw in thought. "How did she say that song went? Oh, yeah." Cozy cleared her throat and hopped onto the rock. "Round and round we dance and we sing! To show that we're all loved by every ling! Thimblefluffer is so happy and fun! With fluffy pillows we--"

"Enough! Enough!" Chrysalis roared, shoving Cozy off of the rock. "That is enough of that! There will be no Thimblefluffer in this cave!"

"Or physics," Tirek chimed in.

"When I get my hive back from that usurper, anyling that even thinks about Thimblefluffer will be subjected to the Thimblethwack Stone! We'll sing the song and spin the stone for hours until the traitor is both dizzy and nearly dead, then we'll spin it some more!" Chrysalis harrumphed and sat down, crossing her forelegs and sticking her lip out in a pout. "To violate the sanctity of Thimblethwacker in such a way... It's heresy of the highest order."

"Aww, cheer up, Chrissy, it's not so bad," Tirek said. "It sounds like quite the game, aside from the song. Whoever thought up the song should be crushed into a pulp."

"Considering the fact that we've been playing it for countless generations, I'd imagine that the ling who wrote it has been dead for millennia," Chrysalis pointed out.

"Yes, yes, whatever," Tirek replied with a wave of his hand. "But think about the current applications. When we take over all of Equestria, don't you think that Twilight and her precious little friends could, shall we say, benefit from a nice rousing game of Thimblethwacker?"

A nasty smile crossed Chrysalis's face. "Ooh, I like where you're going with this. We could round up everypony close to Twilight Sparkle and the traitors and play a massive game of Thimblethwacker in the throne room of Celestia's silly castle! None of this 'Thimblefluffer' business." Chrysalis scoffed. "Playing a game of Thimblethwacker without crushing someling to death is like playing a game of Bandersnatch without tying someling to a pole for several days to wither and die!"

"You know, now that you mention it, Ocellus did mention another game that her family played called Banderhug where you--"

"I'll show my traitorous brood who their real ruler is!" Chrysalis said, shoving her hoof into Cozy's mouth. "All mentions of hugs and happiness and other weakling things like that will be banned forever!"

"Well it still sounds kind of violent..." An evil grin crossed Cozy's face. "But I do like the idea of making Twilight and her friends play it. Maybe we could even use a chunk of her stupid school as the Thimblethwack Stone you keep talking about!"

"And other rubble as the rocks they have to throw at each other," Chrysalis said. "Yes... yessss. I like the sound of all of that."

"Of course, I'll have drained them of all of their magic, so they can't even use it to get out of their predicament!" Tirek chimed in. "Once they're taken care of, we can have a national Thimblethwacker day, where ever year we play a big game of it from sunup to sundown!"

"Why stop at one?" Chrysalis cackled. "If they start to revolt, we could have more."

"This all sounds awesome, but aren't you guys forgetting something?" Cozy asked as she poked Chrysalis's side. "I don't know if Grogar will let us do all of that. I know we're gonna divide Equestria and all that, but what if he doesn't want us doing that? He wants to be the one in charge of us, after all."

"Oh, as if we're actually going to allow ourselves to be under his hoof," Chrysalis said with a wave and an eye roll. "Everybody has a weakness, and Grogar is no different. If he didn't have any, he wouldn't have asked us to help him take over. We just have to find out what his is."

"Yeah, who would want to serve under somebody who needs to delegate important tasks to others because they're too lazy or weak or incompetent to do it themselves?" Tirek agreed. "We'll just bide our time and wait for the opportune moment to strike, and then..." Tirek chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "Equestria will be ours!"

"And then the world!" Cozy cried.

"And then the world," Chrysalis agreed. "In the meantime, how about I demonstrate a game of Thimblethwacker for the two of you? Maybe I can manage to sneak out sometime to get some materials to make effigies of our most hated enemies so we can play for almost real but not quite!"

"Yay!" Cozy and Tirek shouted at the same time.

"And then maybe we can play chess or checkers again!" Cozy added.

"NO!" the other two said instantly.

* * * *

Discord landed outside of the cave where he'd left the three villains, and with a snap of his finger, he transformed into Grogar. He looked into a nearby pool of water to make sure his scowl was perfect. Seeing no flaw in his disguise, he trotted into the cave and deposited his usual bag of supplies for them at the entrance. It wouldn't do for them to see him carrying bags like some common pack mule. Even if he was trying to keep them alive for the time being, he had an image to uphold.

As he went deeper into the cave, he frowned when he heard a strange noise. It sounded almost like... singing. It was subpar, to the point where he briefly considered getting them a pitch pipe with their latest bundles of supplies if they were going to make a habit out of singing, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

With grace and subtlety not usually associated with a being of pure chaos, he snuck to the entrance of the main room and hid behind a stalagmite to observe the group. They were arm-in-arm standing in front of a large rock that they'd managed to rig so that it spun around. Tied to the rock was an effigy of Twilight Sparkle, which one of the three occasionally threw a rock at.

"Round and round the Thimblethwack Stone goes! When it will stop, nopony knows! You've failed to dodge the Thimblethwack rocks! Perhaps you should have stayed in a box! Your dodging and throwing skills were subpar! You moved and dodged like you were trapped in tar! Now you find yourself in a bind. Being pelted by rocks by your own kind!

Discord blinked in confusion. Thimblethwack? He had heard of that once or twice during his life. Given how long he had been in stone, it wasn't unusual for him to find some aspect of a society that he didn't know about. Still, given that Tirek had just thrown a rock the size of his fist at the Twilight dummy that almost obliterated her head, he had a good idea of what it was like.

"Equestria will be better without you! If you were awake, you'd know it was true! Now you're tied to the Thimblethwack Stone don't you see? Being pelted by rocks by those numbering more than three. Now the stone is almost done, and when it stops, Equestria will be miiiiiiinuuuusssss..." The three of them took deep breaths and struck an epic pose. "OOOONNNNEEEEEEE!!!"

The three villains burst out laughing as the spinning stone came to a stop. Cozy untied the Twilight doll and tossed it onto a pile of other destroyed effigies that looked suspiciously like Rainbow Dash and Celestia. Cozy grabbed another from a pile that he couldn't see from where he was, and his stomach dropped.

"Now it's your turn, Discord!" Tirek giggled, rubbing his hands together. "I don't know if this will even work, but I'm more than happy to give it a try."

"We're ready to go!" Cozy said. "Although..." She looked over at Chrysalis with a frown. "Are there any more verses or versions? I'm getting kinda tired of singing the same stupid, poorly written song over and over again."

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Tell you what: we've got a little while. Let's think of some additions to the song. That way we won't be bored." She grimaced and looked down. "Although I've been playing this game for a hundred years and I've never grown tired of it, so I think you can deal."

"Whatever," Tirek said. "Let's get to the fun part! I have a bit of a bone to pick with Discord!"

"You know that's not the real Discord, right?" Cozy said.

"Whatever. It's good enough. Let's go!"

With that, Chrysalis used her magic to start spinning the stone again, and the three of them picked up their own stones.

"Round and round the Thimblethwack Stone goes! When it will stop, nopony knows! You've fail--

As Discord watched the three villains he had brought together pelt him with stones while singing a terrible song, a tiny, nearly imperceptible voice in the back of his mind told him that maybe, just maybe, he had made a terrible mistake. He backed away from the group as their song reverberated through the cave. He considered that it might be a good idea to tell Twilight or Celestia about this. Some backup just in case would be nice. Tirek had defeated him once already, after all.

"Now the stone is almost done, and when it stops, Equestria will be miiiiiiinuuuusssss... OOOONNNNEEEEEEE!!!"

Author's Note

I thought up the name "Thimblethwacker" while I was half asleep and trying to brainstorm ideas for this story.