Switch

by Professor_Blue

Rating: everyone
Tags: Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance, Trixie
Length: 28985

Big Macintosh & Rarity freaky friday by Trixie's doing. Rarity is not impressed.

In a poorly informed bout of revenge, Trixie has returned to Ponyville to make Big Macintosh and Rarity fall in love, because she's convinced this will prove she is the Best Showpony in all Equestria.
But Rarity's going to the spa with Fluttershy, Big Mac has chores to do, and Twilight hasn't the faintest as to why her best friend and best friend's brother are having an episode of freaky Friday...

This story will not be completed by its original author, though if one is interested, they can adopt the story and finish it as they see fit. Unpublicized story resources exist.

Published 2012-08-28 06:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-22 09:16:58 UTC

Chapter 1

Switch

by Professor Blue

pre-read and edited by Chigens, Applejinx

with thankful gratitude to
Shankveld, BraveTriforcer, Kaweebo, Chigens,
Andrew & Andrew,
and the supportive community of MLPforums.com

dedicated to
redacted

1
~

Trixie didn’t feel so Great and Powerful without the proper motivation. Ever since the fiasco with the Ursa Minor in Ponyville, her shows felt a little lacklustre, and she knew it. She kept feeling a little off, calling herself the Greatest Equine in all of Equestria while missing… something. Perhaps it was the fact that she never really did any complex or intricate spells. Perhaps it was the way she presented herself on stage. Perhaps it was her intentional avoidance of internalized problems which she ignored by the efforts of her magic show. Perhaps it was her appetite.

There were a few things she remembered about Ponyville since she last was there; two dimwit colts that ruined her show, one very specific purple unicorn that really ruined her show, and that some place in town made the best soft-grain smoothie with extra hay that she had ever tasted. Trixie had returned to Ponyville despite the risks of those former meetings, in the hopes that if she might find whoever it was that sold those delicious smoothies, assuming that maybe their flavor might restore motivation for her talents. She finally found the café that sold it, and spent most of the late morning savoring her smoothie, hiding under the disguise of a tall grayish hat and a boring, undecorated gray cape.

“Daily news! Hot off the presses, local and national news right here! Get the Canterlot Chronicle, Trottingham Tribune, Baydock Bugle! Two bits’ a broadsheet! Extra editions!”

A colt with a flat cap and saddle bag filled with papers walked past the eatery where Trixie sat. As he walked by and exclaiming his wares, she gently leaned away. She rolled her eyes dismissively, taking another sip from the smoothie.

“Ponyville Express headlined ‘Hectic Hearts & Hooves Day: Love Potion Vindicates Vandals’ Read it all, right here!” the vendor read aloud. Trixie’s eyebrow piqued at the description. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Express please.” Trixie held out an expectant hoof towards the paper held by the vendor, levitating a couple of coins towards him. She didn’t hear his thank-you as she focused on the main article, holding the paper aloft before her eyes with magic. “‘Hectic Hearts & Hooves Day… A stallion and mare were found responsible for property damage in… that town… on Hearts & Hooves Day, but charges were not pressed. It was discovered that three fillies had given the two ponies a magic blah blah blah… investigation led to the directions given by local magicia- Twilight Sparkle.’” Trixie’s eyes narrowed as the paper crumpled in annoyance.

‘The pony that humiliated me!’ Trixie fumed, slapping the paper on the table. ‘Twilight Sparkle doing love magic? Everypony knows that stuff is just smoke and snake oil- or extremely dangerous. She must be doing it for show. But having it reported in the paper?’ Her cloud of magic picked up the smoothie again, but dropped it when her train of thought crashed into a realization. ‘She’s trying to be a showpony!’
“So she thinks she can out-perform the Great and Powerful Trixie with a magic love spell and flaunt it in a newspaper? Nopony can top my show-stopping abilities. I’ll show her!” she said to herself, slightly louder than she intended. She looked around to see if anypony had caught her little outburst, but it seemed no one had.

“…for Hearts and Hooves Day…”

Her ear twitched at the mention from a group of three mares finishing lunch a few tables over. ‘Gossiping? Excellent…’ she rubbed her forehooves together, and nonchalantly approached a nearer table.

“…Lucky is out of town a lot, so I’m really happy he made a point of staying for Hearts and Hooves Day. The picnic we had in park right by the lily pond was really nice.” said the pink earth pony.

“I bet he had it there just so he could pull some pun about your name, Lily.” said the magenta pony.

“He did.” replied Lily with a smirk, rolling her eyes fondly. “He’s so cute even though he’s so silly.” She took a spoonful from her sundae. “So I talked about my Hearts and Hooves Day, Daisy talked about hers-”

“Yeah,” added the magenta pony. “What did you do, Rarity?”

There was no doubt that Rarity was a unicorn that liked to talk and loved attention, but only when it was on her terms- or at least ones she found agreeable. To her, special someponies were a matter of certain delicacy which she expressed only at specific times to her closest friends, let alone casually-met fellow shopkeepers. But of course, appearances and politeness took priority over her personal reservations. She feigned a smile, trying not to seem pressured by the question.

“Me? Well, I don’t have a special somepony.” she admitted. Lily’s jaw dropped in surprise.

“You don’t?”

“Why not?” added Daisy.

“You’re most fashionable pony in all of Equestria! How could you not have a special somepony?”

“I’m not exactly looking for one. And most don’t really seem to fit for me anyways.” said Rarity, looking at her mane resting on her shoulder. “Anypony can want a fabulous mare... But far fewer ever want to talk about things any deeper than skin-deep. If only there was-”
‘DAWNNNN’ A loud bell rang from the town hall clock, and Rarity immediately looked up at it.

“Oh my goodness, is that the time? Sorry girls, my lunch break is over, I still have lots of work to do.”

“Oh, but Rarity!” protested Daisy.

“Talk with you later~!” Rarity said sweetly, and trotted off. Daisy slunk back in her seat with disappointment. Lily watched suspiciously at the leaving white unicorn.

“Rarity without a special somepony? That’s not something you hear every day.” she quipped.

“Yeah.” replied Daisy. “In my book she’d be the last mare I’d have thought was single.” She fiddled with her empty milkshake glass while they sat in a ponderous moment.

“Do you think she’s afraid?” said Lily, taking another spoonful of her sundae.

“Rarity? Afraid of stallions? Ha!” said Daisy sarcastically. “That’s like the opposite of Rarity!”

Across the courtyard of town square, a lightish almost white pony with a reddish mane walked out of the post office, looking back to the fellow she was addressing.

“…Perfect, see you tomorrow!” she finished. She turned to face forwards as she walked, eyes closed with a pleased smile. She stopped and gasped with surprised as she heard an odd grunt and a lurch from one side. Directly beside her was an enormous red stallion, who had forced himself to stop suddenly. He was pulling a large cart and carrying bulging panniers filled with pulled flowers. The smaller mare recognized the stallion and her smile returned. “Oh- Big Macintosh, I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry, I’ll get out of your way.”

Big Macintosh gave a warm grin as if he didn’t mind. The other pony began walking again, slowly and looking with a timid sort of fondness back at the stallion.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Eeyup.” replied Big Macintosh.

The mare continued across the square until she reached the café where Lily and Daisy sat.

“There you are, Rose! You missed lunch!” said Lily.

“You missed Rarity.” added Daisy.

“Have you girls ever noticed Big Macintosh?” said Rose. Daisy turned around to see where Rose had come from and Lily looked over her shoulder, and the three watched Big Macintosh stand there, taking a brief breather.

“Who hasn’t?” said Lily, entertaining the change in topic. “He’s tall and muscular…”

“Not even the Royal Guards are built like that.” said Daisy. The red stallion leaned gently into his yoke and the cart began slowly shifting forwards until he took a step and started pulling it away, a small smile on his large face. He turned his head back and nipped a buttercup out of one of the panniers and returned forward as he walked, suckling on the flower as the stem hung out his lips like a lollipop.

“Not to mention cute.” said Rose.

“I bet he has a great singing voice.” said Lily. The other two looked at her oddly. “…What?”

“What’d I miss with Rarity?” asked Rose.

“Rarity said she doesn’t have a special somepony.” Lily summarized, giving a very curt look.

“Did she do anything for Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“You know, I bet she didn’t do anything all day.” said Daisy.

“That’s terrible!” said Rose.

Lily suddenly tapped the tabletop hard, her face wide with excitement. “I just had an awesome idea!” she exclaimed. Daisy and Rose gave each other expectantly unimpressed looks before looking back at Lily.

“Is this anything like your ‘super-mega’ ideas?” said Daisy flatly.

“No way. This is like my super-mega-awesome foxy hot ideas!” said Lily jubilantly. Rose simply looked on with a raised eyebrow as Lily continued. “What if… we got…” She turned with a mischievous smile on her face and pointed towards Big Macintosh as he walked around the corner. “Rarity, and Big Macintosh… together.”

“You mean like… try and get them to spend time with one another?” said Daisy, thinking about the possibility.

“And make them fall in love!” finished Lily happily. Her voice changed to a sinister tone. “It’s the perfect crime…”

“I don’t know.” replied Daisy. “Don’t you think that’s kind of… not right, for us to do that to them?”

“Not fall in love, just- put them together in the same place and see what happens.” said Rose, picking up interest as she spoke.

“But they’re so unlike each other.” said Daisy.

“ExcUUuuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear that there are two special someponies out there who are made for each other but haven’t the daring to realize it?” interrupted a blue unicorn with a tall grayish hat and boring, undecorated gray cape.

“Well,” started Rose. “I don’t know about ‘made for each other’ but-”

“Who are you?” interrupted Daisy.

“Why, only the Great and Pow-er..r-Remarkable Ricksy!”

“Pleased to meet you, Ricksy. I’m Lily.” She offered her a hoofshake, and Ricksy accepted it.

“The Great and Remarkable Ricksy happens to be a magician who specializes in smoke and mirrors, powers of trickery and practical jokes; perfect for the things of your conspiring.” said Ricksy. Some magical source behind her shot sparkling confetti, framing the unicorn with a dazzling display.

“Sweeeet...” said Lily, distractedly following some of the trails of confetti.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Daisy,” said Rose. “It’s all in good fun.”

“Of course it is.” said Ricksy admirably. “Just tell me where I might find these two… lovers to-be.”

~Ω~

Trixie strolled away casually but as soon as she was out of sight of the café, she leapt into a dark alleyway. Her hat and cape morphed with a spell, both to their proper star-spangled appearance and the hat back into a long pointy form.

“Hee hee hee… Now,” she procured a large black book from her cape. “Love spells… Love, L L L… linens, liqueur… lotion- aha!… Love… illusions, let’s see- Ooh, this looks promising.” Trixie conjured a mirror and it levitated before her as she placed the book on the ground and read the spell. ‘I’ll enchant this, and the first thing they say as they look into it will seal them at the “last verge of sundown”, then their minds will “intertwine”. If I read this right, they’ll fall in love immediately! ...Wait- “Enchanter’s Note”?... Hmm.. that’s a long list of details. Well, even if they don’t, it should be enough of a push to have them really like each other anyways. Ha!’

The mirror glowed with an intense pink sheen as Trixie’s horn fed a beam of energy into it, and with a bright flash the mirror’s metal edges faded, and small bits of tarnish seeped at the corners of the glass. Trixie smiled with her clever plan, and carefully placed the mirror into a paper bag. With a puff of magic, she conjured a saddle-pack filled with some vases, a pitcher and some other shiny-looking glassware, and re-morphed her hat and cape. She walked briskly but confidently out of the alleyway and after a large hay-filled cart down the street. As she caught up, she saw the first pony of her plan, who matched the description of the three at the café perfectly. His huge figure stood out like a statue from the street.

‘Hm hm hm!’ she laughed to herself through a closed smile, walking past Macintosh’s large flank. ‘Trixie can see why they gossiped about him so...’ She took a few longer steps and began walking ahead of him with a broad championing smile.

“Excuse me, fine sir! My name is Tr-Ricksy Reflector!” she said confidently. “I’m a salespony, might sell you a fine mirror?”

“Nope.” said Big Macintosh politely.

“Aha, but sir this is not just any mirror, no!” said Trixie, pulling the mirror out of the bag in the pack, thrusting it unavoidably in front of his face. “It is a magic mirror that- er… shows you the most spectacular things you could ever imagine! See?”

Big Macintosh stopped, as he looked at the reflection of himself. The green eyes gave no spectacular show and his red coat bore nothing fancy, which really begged a question about Ricksy’s claim.

“Ah don’t see anythin’ special.” he said, before leaning out of the mirror’s reflection and starting up again with the cart.

“Hmm!” said Trixie, pulling the mirror away. She heard a sharp ‘tink’ from the glass, but dared not look at the mirror’s face herself. She quickly gave a cursory glance at the back of the mirror before putting it in the paper bag. “Well, sorry for interrupting, sir! Perhaps the Remarkable Ricksy can interest you in another ware?”

“Nope.” replied the stallion.

“Oh. Well. Have a nice day sir!” said Trixie as she stopped, with a false tone of disappointment.

“Eeyup.” said Big Macintosh as he continued on his way.

Trixie curled away from his view with a wide, delighted grin. “Ehe he he he! One down, one to go.”

~♦~

Trixie rang the doorbell of a grand, elaborately decorated cylindrical building, which was labeled “Carousel Boutique” on both a sign above the front door and doormat below it.

“Coming!” said a polite but rather exasperated voice from inside, followed by a loud crash and possibly the thump of a pony tripping. Trixie raised an eyebrow at the odd noise, until it settled into a simple trotting, and the door opened by a force of magic. Before her stood a white unicorn that looked like one she might have met before- but why, she couldn’t put her hoof on it. “Ah, there. Hello-” said Rarity.

“Good morning, ma’am!” interrupted Trixie.

Rarity looked suspiciously at the unicorn before her. She looked… familiar. And her attire did not match at all- most unfashionable.
“..Welcome to Carousel Boutique. How may I help you, miss…?”

“Ricksy! Ricksy Reflector! May I interest you in some fine glassware?”

“Er-…”

“Such as this mirror!” The mirror was stuffed into Rarity’s face and she leaned far back to avoid poking her nose on it. “Never have you seen a finer mirror, I’m sure?”

Rarity took a step back and relaxed from leaning to avoid the mirror, looking at the edges and the handle of the mirror suspended by magic in front of her. Its braided bronze form did have a sort of fanciful charm to it, but it did look very old and in need of polish. And there was a tiny crack in the middle of the glass over the reflection of her right eye. There was another ‘tink’! sound and a chip appeared in the middle of her other eye. She blinked in surprise. The two chips began to form a small crack between them, growing across the width of the glass.

“Uh- I’ve seen finer.” commented Rarity. The mirror was suddenly yanked away and placed back in the bag. “Miss Reflector, I’m-” she stopped as Trixie wordlessly smiled and ran away, turning around a corner and disappearing behind a nearby building. Rarity simply watched until the pony had disappeared, bewildered. She grinned, about to laugh the interaction off, until something occurred to her, and she slammed the door shut so hard the window pane shuddered.

“…The nerve! Selling a mirror to a fashion designer?” she snorted. “What cruel irony of a joke. Hmph!” Rarity turned to continue back towards her inspiration room. It was filled with various foresty and spiky items, and her cat in one corner. Opalesence meowed as she batted a small tassel designed to resemble a tamarack branch.
“Pinecones.. pine trees… The Evergreens! Right. Back to work.” she said as her orangish-red glasses floated onto their proper place on her nose. Fabric and tools moved this way and that, pushed along by Rarity’s magic as she constructed new visual beauties, although her mind was still mixed with her imagination and the taken insult.
‘That Ricksy was such a ruffian. Oh, all this stress is starting to get to me...’ thought Rarity, setting down a needle stuffy and several yards of wool, looking at herself in a mirror mounted to the desk. She sighed and took a deep breath before returning to her various tasks. ‘But, no matter! I’ve certainly earned my day off tomorrow.’ Her eyes lazily drifted upwards at the notion. ‘All afternoon at the spa with Fluttershy will be exactly the relaxation that I need...’

~Ω~

By late afternoon, Big Macintosh had returned the cart to Sweet Apple Acres, checked most of the blossoms of the trees on the south field for pests, weeded the flower garden near the front porch and eaten dinner with his family. As he walked into the dining room after cleaning up the meal, he saw his sister Applejack looking somewhat tired and with a few drops of tree sap in her hair. She was focused on a funnel which she was sticking into the flappy end of an un-inflated party balloon. On the table in front of her were several other colourful balloons, a box of clothespins, a jar of confectioners’ sugar, a bowl filled with flour and a tall glass filled with what smelled like pickling water. Not the strangest thing he had seen his sister handling, but among the stranger.

“AJ, did you paint the acreage fence today?” said Macintosh.

“Nope.” said Applejack, finally sticking the funnel into the end. She took a tablespoonful of the sugar and poured it into the balloon.

“Ah thought you said you were gonna paint it today.”

“Nope. I said I’d convince Rainbow Dash to help me tomorrow.”

“Weren’t it gonna rain tomorrow?” asked Macintosh.

“Not if Rainbow helps me paint the fence.” replied Applejack. Macintosh wasn’t exactly impressed by that sort of answer. But he knew better than to pressure his sister against the sorts of things that involved her friends. Not that Applejack spending time with her friends was harmful to productivity, it just sort of took away from the time he could spend with his sister. He kept the thought to himself.

“What’s all this?” he said, looking at the implements on the table.

“Prank.” said Applejack tersely.

“For who?”

“For Rainbow.” She spooned some of the flour into the funnel.

‘That ‘splains a few things.’ he thought. He watched her fill the balloon with some of the pickling water with a separate funnel, then put a small kink in the balloon’s opening and put a pin on it. She started on another balloon.

“Did you take out the compost?” asked Macintosh.

“Nope.”

“Ah thought Ah said you were ‘sposed to take it out this mornin’.”

“You said take it out by tomorrow mornin’.” said Applejack with a little smile.

“‘Cause Ah need the bucket tomorrow mornin’.”

“Don’t worry big brother, I’ll take it out before you need it.” said Applejack. Macintosh rolled his eyes as he continued out of the dining room.

“Ah get up earlier than you do, AJ.”

“Eeyup.” said Applejack, her smile growing. Big Macintosh sighed, with half a mind to chuckle. Applejack knew how much it bothered him to mimic his speech, but he let it slide because it was the kind of thing that he knew both of them laughed about. He slowly strolled to the front porch where his littlest sister Apple Bloom sat, looking out at the sunset sky and drawing a picture with some crayons. Big Macintosh admired the view. He slowly looked down at Apple Bloom and her drawing, before looking out at the scenery before him again. ‘Apple Bloom could use more orange on her landscape if she wanted to, judgin’ from the sky.’ he thought.

“Apple Bloom,” started Macintosh, resigned at his other sister. The filly looked up. “Promise me you won’t be as difficult as your sister when you’re a teenager.”

Apple Bloom’s eyes flitting back and forth with thought, trying to avoid looking at her brother until she could come up with answer that she thought both of them would like. Macintosh looked down at his sister again, curious at her pause. “Apple Bloom?”

She returned his look, having apparently figured out an answer to his request.

“…Ah mustn’t tell lies.” said Apple Bloom cheerfully. Big Macintosh looked straight forwards blankly.

“That’s it, Ah’m goin’ to bed.” he said, turning and heading back inside the house. Apple Bloom laughed from outside as the red stallion plod up the stairs to his bedroom. He removed his trusty pulling yoke and sat down on the edge of the mattress, shutting one curtain to his room before settling himself under the sheets. ‘Might as well call it Fillyville…’ he thought to himself, undecided if he should’ve laughed or sighed.

~(!)~

Rarity slept that night with that perfect mix of deep relaxation and lucid thought that allowed her to imagine fashion ideas that she could never explore when she was awake. Since her day was already spoken for, perhaps she would write down some of the ideas she was having the day after, to explore them further. Wondrous odds and ends did their dance before her creativity, before she was suddenly slammed into consciousness by a loud ringing. She pressed her eyes shut as she reached towards the source of the sound, and felt a small domed bell like an alarm clock. She relaxed her forehoof as the bell stopped, and her hoof hung down.
‘Since when do I move around on my bed? Why am I so close to the edge of my mattress?’ she thought, before a bigger thought occurred. ‘Why is there an alarm clock in my bedroom?’ Her eyes crept open to see the dark room she was in, filled with the very faint bluish tinge of the night sky. Her sheets felt rough and patchy. With a small movement of her hoof she felt it more carefully. ‘A denim quilt?’ It was thin but warm, and a far cry from her downy duvet. She sat upright, which felt far easier than she expected for this late at night- and the motion pushed aside an unfamiliar stuffed doll. All over she felt rested, but not really relaxed. Any sort of soothing sensation that would have come from sleep felt like it had been replaced by a coarse vigor. She wiped her face to see if she had any makeup left over from last night, but felt nothing.

“Ugh-” she yawned groggily. “What a tragedy to be awoken from my slumber.” ‘And my goodness do I need a drink of water.´ she thought, hearing her voice crack deeply. She looked around and saw the room with a gasp. The room itself was wood paneled with some modest-looking older furniture, a stool with a large yoke on it and a pinkish apple-shaped night-light in one corner near the door. She could smell a crisp cool sort of air that one could smell when out-and-away from Ponyville.

She looked out the window and saw the thinnest edge of light on the horizon. ‘Goodness me, it must be over an hour before sunrise!’ There were trees everywhere, and she realized that she must be on Sweet Apple Acres, but viewing from some place she had never been before. ‘Why in Equestria am I here? Is this Applejack’s idea of a joke?’ Irritated by the scratchiness of the sheets, she imagined them moving away but nothing happened. Suddenly it occurred to her that her forehead felt very numb. She threw the sheets off at the disconcerting lack of sensation from her horn. Rarity crossed the room pressed her hoof against the light switch on the wall, and she froze. Frozen, staring at her hoof.
Her thick, burly, bare-haired-pastern, crimson hoof.

“Ah! How horrid!” Immediately Rarity stamped down as if to hide it from herself, and she was shocked at the sound of her voice. It was deep and thick and entirely unlike her normal voice. ‘What is going on? Do I have a disease?’ She pushed through the door and recognized- she was indeed in the Apple family house, but coming out of a room she hadn’t been in before. She walked down the hall to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Flicking on another light, she turned around and the first thing she saw was the reflection of her eyes in the mirror. They were large and gorgeous, still reflecting her generous spirit, but with something else strange. She then realized that they had changed colour- instead of an enamouring sapphire, they were a noble and probing sea-green. The change immediately made her take better stock of the reflection and she realized that she must not have been looking at a mirror; she was looking at a window in which there was staring Applejack’s brother Big Macintosh. He was oddly returning the exact expression of surprise that she felt. She turned her head to the side, and the stallion replicated the movement. It occurred to her: ‘Am I seeing through his eyes? Am I controlling his body?’
Just short of screaming in shock, Rarity forced her composure and stayed calm.

"Alright Rarity this is not the time to over-react. Something has seriously gone wrong. You are a lady. It is time to act like one." said the stallion in the mirror. Somehow the verbal command didn’t inspire confidence, and the masculine voice only confirmed her thought further.

“Is this some kind of sick, twisted joke?” he said aloud angrily. “Is this a dream?” He ran his hoof through his mane and looked back into the mirror. ‘Thick, unkempt. Blech, all these split ends. Wrinkles under the eyes,’ Then he looked at his own hoof. ‘Edge chipped, dirt ingrained everywhere. Ugh. Regardless of what this is, joke, dream or whatever, I am thoroughly disgusted.’ He went back to the bedroom and lay down, hoping that if he returned to sleep, maybe he would wake up normally.

The more he lay, the more he felt about himself. It was apparent the musculature had never been exposed to a masseuse before, and if Rarity had ever felt a kink of tension being a knot in a rope, then this stallion was just a heap of chain links. The absence of magic was also extremely unusual. He tossed and turned, but every movement felt alien or improper. Not that usage of the body didn’t feel tingly or interesting (if those were the right words) but rather like it didn’t belong to Rarity, as if she was wearing somepony else’s gown or taking a sip from another’s drink. It felt a little criminal. It also felt a little fun.

“Grrrr!” After laying there with his eyes screwed shut for several minutes, he leapt up in frustration and stomped on the floor. Although Rarity was used to being small and spritely when she had a tantrum, the huge stallion’s bulk made up for that in droves, and the floor groaned under his stamping. There was suddenly a small couple of knocks on the door, a pause and the door cracked open, showing a drowsy looking Applejack peeking in.

“Big Mac, is somethin’ wrong?” she drawled groggily. “Shouldn’ you be out workin’ by now?”

“Of course something’s wrong, can’t you see what’s happened?” said Macintosh angrily, gesturing to himself dramatically.

“…You forgot yer yoke?” said Applejack, raising an eyebrow. That was the final straw for the stallion as he looked to the corner of the room where the yoke sat.

“My…” he didn’t even want to begin thinking about what it would feel like to wear. He looked down and noticed the stark farmer’s tan on his chest, as stark as if he were painted pink across the front. “Hmph!” he snorted, and walked straight out. Applejack looked on as she saw her brother walk down the stairs, still confused by his exclamation.

“…Stallions.” she muttered, and went back to her own room.

Chapter 2

2
~♦~

‘Must be ‘bout time to get up by now. Did Ah remember to set the alarm?’ thought Macintosh. He opened his eyes but could see nothing, his world being completely pitch black. He smelled what seemed to be a variety of perfumes and oils, which made his mind scramble as to why it seemed he was in a make-up shop at midnight. His hoof felt the back of his head and pulled at a small frilly band, which released a pair of sleeping blinders to drop off his face. Amazed, he saw the heavily decorated room he was in, with carved walls and a fluffy looking carpet on the floor. He raised his hoof to his chin to think as to what was happening but it suddenly shocked him as he felt. The skin was so soft and so smooth he almost didn’t want to stop feeling it, and more surprising to him:

‘Where’s my jaw?’ his face seemed much smaller. Macintosh rolled over on the bed, but again with surprise, the bed was larger than he was used to, and only tussled himself in the sheet, which was thicker and silkier than any property he owned. He threw off the sheet and tried to leap out of the bed, striking his flank against a bedside table. The pain seared far more than he imagined possible, and he looked back at himself.

‘How could a lil’ bump hurt this dang much?’ and then he saw his flank. It wasn’t broad nor red or anything else he might use to describe himself. It was small and round and white and had three lightish blue gemstones for a cutie mark.

‘Ah don’t like this dream.’ he thought. He pinched himself in the neck but the only thing that happened was an addition of a sting. As he placed his hoof back down, it pushed through smooth, thick purple locks of hair that hung down quite far. Macintosh thought he’d understood enough, and looked around frantically. On one side of the room was a large mirror mounted to a work desk.

‘…Do Ah dare?’

Cautiously he approached it from the side, delaying the reflection for as long as possible until he raised his head and saw one of Applejack’s friends looking back at him. He gasped. She was elegant and a bunch of other words that he couldn’t think of, that all meant “beautiful”. What struck him the most were the two gorgeous blue eyes that stared back. For a moment he glanced away to breathe again, and noticed in the bottom corner of the mirror was a signature in lipstick that read “Rarity”. He looked back at the reflection, hesitating only a moment before he spoke.

“Hello Miss Rarity.” said Rarity. The unicorn squeaked and froze solid as she heard her voice speak with a most unavoidably undeniably sophisticated feminine sound. She leapt away from the mirror, afraid of whatever was happening. ‘My mind’s inside a mare?’

She thought about screaming or running or jumping back into the bed. All not very good options, she concluded. She thought about just walking back to Sweet Apple Acres and getting to work, or maybe walking to Canterlot to see if one of those fancy magic ponies would have a solution. Both were more useful options, but still not exactly optimal. A white cat yawned, lying quietly on a small fur-lined basket near the dresser. Rarity quietly walked closer and lay down beside the basket and began slowly and carefully petting the cat.

‘Well, this is jus’ peachy. Must be Thursday. ‘Could never get the hang of Thursdays.’ The cat smiled and began to purr, as Rarity pondered. ‘Goin’ to th’farm ain’t gonna help. This pony body’s too small for mah yoke, an’ AJ would probably think Ah’d gone nuts if Ah tried to borrow hers. An’ Canterlot’s a pretty long way… Ah don’t know if this pony could even walk that far. Or if anypony would miss her. What do Ah do?’ She tried not to panic. She tried imaginging with all her might that it was just a dream and she could wake up, but it made something in her forehead tickle.

There was a quiet shudder outside, and then the creak of the back door.

‘What do Ah do?!’ thought Macintosh’s mind, suddenly rushed. Rarity jumped up, looking around the room. Hoofsteps were coming from the stairs just outside the only visible door. Jumping out the window as a probably unworkable solution, she reasoned. The sounds from the stairs continued to grow louder. Rarity ran behind the bed, hiding from view. Through the doorway walked the tall red stallion of Big Macintosh, looking rather annoyed and somewhat tired. He looked around the room, and spotted Rarity’s spying eyes from the edge of the bed.

“What in the name of… Rarity?” he asked. He had never seen such a third-pony perspective before.

“…Eeyup?” said Rarity, questioning herself as she walked out from behind the bed. The stallion immediately recognized the verbal tic.

“Oh thank goodness! Big Macintosh, what’s going on? I’m stuck in your body! And you are stuck in mine!” he pointed to her, then himself. “What are we going to do?”

Rarity thought about what might be the sort of thing that real Rarity might do.

“…Panic?” she said, with an unsure raised eyebrow.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Big Mac.” said Macintosh, starting to pace in a longish circle. Rarity sat down, watching the stallion. “Ooh, I know! Twilight Sparkle will be able to solve this!” he said, looking up excitedly. He looked back down and returned to pacing. “But she won’t wake up for hours!...” Rarity watched him pace several more laps. “…But this is more important than sleep! Look at me!” said Macintosh, exasperated.

“Rest now’ll help her think when she’s awake.” said Rarity.

“That’s all very well and good but what are we going to do until then? We cannot just wait here, can we?” Macintosh suddenly realized the impropriety of a stallion and mare standing there alone in Rarity’s bedroom, expertly hiding his reaction to the thought. “All things considered, I suppose not.”

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, inclined to agree with whatever meant they would leave the perfume-scented room.

“Right.. Then where should we wait?”

“Well normally Ah’d be workin’ the plow right now, but figger’d you wouldn’t want to.” said Rarity. In her mind, she sounded a lot like Applejack.

“You guess correctly.” said Macintosh, highly concerned with how Applejack’s brother might treat her very immaculate condition of body. Rarity seemed to be avoiding his eyes, lips tightened partially. “Something the matter?”

Rarity’s look returned to Macintosh like she’d been caught, but spoke simply enough, although carefully.

“…W-would you like to go for a walk?”

“Is that your plan for waiting for Twilight?” replied Macintosh. Rarity nodded.

“Uhm… Ah was… afraid, if you didn’t want me to,” she stopped somewhat awkwardly, her eyes dodged a little to one side before looking back. “‘Cause you’re so fine and clean.”

“Oh.” said Macintosh. “Well, thank you for being so self-conscious on my behalf Big Ma-” Macintosh stopped himself at the strangeness of the address, but continued. “Er.. Macintosh.”

“‘Bumped mah leg on th’table when Ah got up an’ it hurt more than it should’ve.” said Rarity, pointing to the bedside table. “So Ah got worried ‘bout hurtin’ yer body again or messin’ up your mane or somethin’, ‘cause you’re so high-maintenance. -!” Macintosh jerked slightly with the perceived insult as Rarity winced with the realized connotation. “Sorry, Ah didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright, Big Mac.” interrupted the stallion, shrugging off the mistake. “Your concern is appreciated.”

~♦~

Big Macintosh and Rarity walked alongside a grove of trees on a road near town, slowly brightening from the approaching sunrise as bright yellow and faint purple wove its way through the thin clouds above.
There was no doubt that the stallion’s mind was one that liked to talk, but such a change made him far less chatty.

‘Since we’re stuck like this, we might as well talk. Big Macintosh does appear to be a good listener.’ thought Macintosh.

‘Isn’t that one of the things you’d want in a stallion? Somepony who’ll listen to your gabbing?’ replied another thought.

‘No, no, no- this is not the time nor the place. I cannot think about that right now.’

Macintosh's mind suddenly wanted very much to be distracted from thinking. Anything that might make the mind inside the stallion think about something other than... whatever might be lead on by what Rarity liked in a pony. Highly improper. ‘Talk about something!’

“Uh... so what do you think this is?” asked Macintosh. “Some kind of bizarre dream? A spell?”

Rarity didn’t have the foggiest, her mind originating as an earth pony and therefore all the terms about that sort of thing might as well have been in Fancy or Latin or something.
“A curse?” she suggested.

“Don’t be silly, there are no such things as curses.” replied Macintosh. “Still, who would want to do something like this?”

Rarity squinted, trying to remember.
“Maybe that curly pony that pulls pranks and hangs out with you and AJ’s other friends. What’s her name… ‘Plinky’?”

“Pinkie Pie? I don’t know… Something like this for her would be a bit brash. Perhaps Rainbow Dash if anypony, but something like this doesn’t quite seem to be her caliber (or scale) of a prank either.”

Rarity said nothing, not knowing enough about Applejack’s friends to make any further speculation. Macintosh tried not to think about the things that came with being a stallion. ‘Talking seems to distract me enough.’ he thought. He looked at Rarity, and noted she was a little behind.
“Perhaps I should slow down.”

“Mmaybe.” said Rarity, catching up as Macintosh slowed his broad steps.

“I’m used to this pace, but not legs this long.” said Macintosh, looking down at his thick forelegs.

“It’s alright.” said Rarity, with a humored smile.

“Although, I could get used to this height. You can see farther like this,” said Macintosh happily, straightening his neck and looking ahead proudly. “Hmm.. but fitting a suit would take more material… and you have to duck for doorways…”

Rarity turned off the road and onto a narrow path between two close-together trees.
“This way.” she directed quietly.

“What’s up this way?” asked Macintosh, stopping.

“You’ll see.” said Rarity.

The space between the trees seemed small but it was perfectly wide enough for Rarity to pass through with more than enough space for her hair. Macintosh followed, and the space was easily large enough for him as well. Rarity lead up a path that twisted back and forth up the steep side of a hill, lined with small bushes that mostly had thistles in them, until the path lead to the rounded top of a hill, and only as Macintosh crossed onto it did he see what they came for. It was like the view from the tall hill on Sweet Apple Acres, but with fewer trees in the way, and the sun was just beginning to peep over the verge of the mountains. It cast a spectacular glory on every glancing edge of everything in sight and painting the sky in whispy broad strokes of pink and gold. Macintosh gasped.

“How… marvelous…!”

“Eeyup.”

“However did you find this place?”

“When you grow up on a farm, you tend to explore when you’re little.” said Rarity.

Macintosh chuckled at her irony.
“I’m not the little one here, am I?”

“Nope.” said Rarity calmly, still looking at the sunrise. They both sat there for several minutes, watching in awe as the sun climbed out of the horizon and found its place in the early morning sky.

“…Beautiful.” said Macintosh.

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, sounding a tiny bit distracted. Macintosh turned and saw Rarity as she sat, looking at her front hoof. Macintosh did likewise and exhaled gruffly.

“I must say it was an unwelcome awakening. You’re not one who has the keenest eye for cleanliness.” said Macintosh, slowly accelerating his rate of speech. Rarity frowned, not sure is what she was hearing was an insult or a critique. “Look at this hoof, the edge uneven, and the hair on your pasterns looks like you’ve hardly touched them ever. Have you even heard of a hooficure? And this smell, a hint of dirt and sweat and apple tree bark is your entire world. It’s like you don’t even bathe.” finished the stallion, pinching his nose.

“That there body bathes each and every day.” said Rarity, stomping her hoof.

“Where?” said Macintosh. “I saw your bathroom, you only have one tub and it’s only big enough for your sisters of grandmother.”

“The river west of the Farm.”

“The West River?” said Macintosh, eyes wide. “Isn’t that the one that comes from a glacier?”

“Cold spring on the mountainside, but it warms a bit by the time it reaches town.”

“That water would still be freezing cold!”

“Yup.” said Rarity, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well no wonder you’re so thick…skinned.” said Macintosh, looking at his hide again. “And don’t get me started on this mane. It will take me all day at the spa and salon to fix this up. That is, if Twilight can’t change us back immediately.”

“Hol’ on, who said you could ‘fix me up’?” Rarity stood, for the first time seeming bothered by Macintosh’s suggestion. “Ah’m at least giv’n you the courtesy of not goin’ back to the house, puttin’ on the ol’ pullin’ yoke and-”

“You will do no such thing!” exclaimed Macintosh.

“Why shouldn’t Ah? ‘Splain why Ah should let you take my body t’the spa?” said Rarity quickly.

“‘Why should you go to the spa.’” repeated Macintosh sarcastically. “Do you even look at yourself in the mirror?” he ended honestly.

“From what you already said Ah think it’s clear that Ah don’t,” Rarity said flatly. “At least not to the satisfaction of yer persnickidyness.”

“I didn’t mean it that way.” said Macintosh. He continued, pushing his hoof through his mane. “Of course there’s a lot of work that needs to be done to sharpen all this up…”

“Hmph.” sneered Rarity.

“But beneath all that, Big Macintosh is, well, he’s a pretty fine specimen.”

“Huh?”

“Long straight hair, a smooth jaw line, tall, rugged, chiseled muscles,” listed Macintosh with considerable self-pleasure. “Any half-sensible stallion should be envious to look at a form like this, if I do say so myself. Not to mention easy on the eye for any given mare...” He looked down from his own analysis and saw Rarity looking back with a rather simple look, much like any sort of regular expression Big Macintosh would wear, but was blushing all over her face, like her head had become a purple-maned ripe cherry. Macintosh wondered how often the actual stallion blushed under his red coat and nopony could visibly tell. “Oh pish-posh Macintosh, it’s just my fashion’s eye speaking.” said the stallion.

The mind inside the unicorn had never been flattered like that before. Rarity noticed how she was staring, feeling the warmth of her face. She looked away, avoiding his eyes.

“Don’t say you’ve never thought about yourself that way before?”

“Nope. Well… er..” She pressed her lips shut, not wanting to continue. Macintosh recognized the look.

“I see Applejack isn’t the only Apple who has a hard time lying.” he said with a little smirk. Rarity sighed.

“Ah never thought much of myself like that. Ah know if Ah did, most of it’d be true-”

“Oh, all of it’s true.” said Macintosh, looking at his flank as he gave it a little shake.

“Hey, stop that.” said Rarity. “Ah never think about it much ‘cause what’s under th’surface is more ‘mportant than jus’ the skin.”

“I suppose,” he replied. “But you can’t say yourself that you’ve never given at least a sideways glance at a nice-looking mare.” said Macintosh. Rarity blushed intensely again. She averted her gaze by looking downward, but suddenly caught herself looking at her own body, and looked out at the sky.

“Is this making you uncomfortable?”

Rarity cautiously looked back to Macintosh and gave a slow nod. Macintosh sighed quietly and looked to the sky. The both of them sat there poignantly, while the sun started to warm the air around them.

“Alright then, the sun’s risen now, we’ve waited.” said Macintosh. “We should go to Twilight’s, see what she can make of this.”

“Eeyup.” said Rarity, standing. She started down the path on the other side of the knoll.

“Lead on, Big Mac.” said the stallion. The unicorn stopped.

“Wait- Ain’t Ah in your body?”

“..Yes.” replied Macintosh.

“Then shouldn’t you call me Rarity?” said Rarity.

“Well, I suppose that depends on if I want to address you, or the mind inside.”

Rarity gave an unusual look upwards before turning back towards the path.

“This is gonna be confusin’.”

~☆~

By the time the two reached town, the sun had risen much farther and the earlier risers of Ponyville had begun setting up shops or opening sale-stands. Big Macintosh and Rarity were the only two passers-by as they walked. Around a corner, a third pony watched through a pair of silver-shaded binoculars, hiding by the edge of a short brick wall.

“Aha!” exclaimed Trixie, finally finding her subjects. “There they are… The Great and Powerful Trixie has-! Wait, where are they going?”

She shadowed the two at a distance, following them until they reached the great old tree of the Library. Macintosh knocked gently on the door, and from inside Twilight’s voice spoke.

“Spike, can you get the door?”

Soft footsteps approached, until the door swung partly open and Spike the dragon immediately saw Rarity standing on the doorstep, her form silhouetted by the morning’s brilliance.

“Morning Rarity!” he said with a wide smile. He let the door swing farther, and it revealed Big Macintosh standing beside the petite white unicorn, casting a shadow over Spike. “..Oh, hey Big Mac.” he said, with his excitement somewhat dampened.

“Spike, we have a little problem.” said Macintosh, with a hitherto unexpected clarity in his accent. Spike raised an eyebrow, as Twilight joined behind him.

“Good morning Rarity,” greeted the lavender unicorn. “Hello Big Macintosh.”

“Mornin’.” drawled Rarity. Macintosh looked down and frowned sharply at the unicorn.

“Spit that out right now!” he demanded. Rarity quickly spat out a small stalk of barley that was clutched between her teeth. Twilight raised her eyebrow.

“Uh… is there something going on between you two?” she asked.

“Well…” started Rarity.

“Yeah?” encouraged Twilight.

“That is to say…” began Macintosh.

“What?”

“…It’s a little weird.” they said simultaneously.

Trixie watched as the two entered the Library, watching through her binoculars over a hedge.

“Curses!” she spat. “The love spell failed.” She sank down, taking shelter from sight in somepony’s garden. Her narrowed expression faded as she thought. ‘However…their minds have been switched. That should at least make them spend time with one another; that unicorn was a fashion type. She won’t want any cart-pulling stallion’s mind to mess up her mane. And if they spend time together… anypony knows it will make them fall for each other anyways! Ehe he he he!’

~★~

“…So we agreed to come here, and that brings us up to the present.” finished Macintosh.

“D’you have any idea what this is?” asked Rarity.

Twilight stood, thinking hard on the discourse Macintosh had given. Her horn glowed and books began flying off shelves in all different directions, trailing sparkles and sorting by category, every so often parading in front of her to flip through a few pages as she searched. “Hmm.. It’s obvious that it’s some…” Her voice began to carry a peculiar enchanting rhythm as she began to sing.

“Some kind of mind replacement, brain transplacement,

Mayhaps a transfusion,
This cranial confusion,
A cerebral contusion,
Some mental intrusion,
No shape ‘an illusion
By rival collusion?
Some sharéd delusion,
A villain’s inclusion?
What possible would be the starting prolusion
To cause such a state of dramatic obtrusion?”

“Ah don’t know.” added Rarity.

“Hmm~
“Looking so far to see
Neurobiology,
Astro-mentology,
Magic ontology,
Spirit’s herbology,
Phantasmology-”

“Such is her knowledge she
Can’t say a tautology.” said Spike.

“As long as her magical what-ever-lolligees’
Won’t need to be causing to making apologies.” said Macintosh.

“Ohh~” refrained Twilight.

“You found something?” the other three said in unison.

“…No.” said Twilight as she coursed through the pages of an ornate purple book, her ears sinking down. She perked up again, stopping on one page. “But I think I may have a lead. Spike, I need everything on all those things I just said.”

Spike stood, slightly intimidated by her instruction and the complex of books hovering just above his head.

“…Right.” he said dutifully. He began flipping through a few books within arm's reach. Parchments and books swam around Twilight as she looked back at Rarity and Macintosh.

“This might take a while. Have you had breakfast? I have some fruit salad in the kitchen.” she offered with a smile.

“That sounds wonderful, thank you so much Twilight, I hate to be a bother.” said Macintosh.

“It’s no trouble,” said Twilight, parsing through a thick scroll. “Considering the things Rarity has done for me, I probably owe her.”

“Much ‘obliged.” said Rarity.

The two stepped down the stairs out of Twilight’s flurry of documents in her study, and went to the kitchen. A large bowl of fruits had been prepared and sat on the island counter. Rarity served two bowls and eased herself onto one of the stools.

“Come to think of it, I’m starved.” said Macintosh, looking eagerly at the salad as he sat. “And the more I think about it, the hungrier I am.” He took a bite out of the fruit salad, chewing somewhat daintily but quickly. “I feel like I could eat a whole Royal Buffet, this is outrageous. How can you stand it?”

“Ah eat when AJ, Apple Bloom an’ Granny get up an’ make breakfast. We all eat together.” said Rarity. They both paused, looking at their bowls of food.

“Is there a specific way I should eat this?” asked Macintosh.

“Not really,” said Rarity. She eyed a nearby spoon. “..Should Ah eat fancy-like?”

“You mean with proper table-manners? Yes.” said Macintosh. Rarity took the spoon, carefully starting into her salad. Macintosh looked at his food again. “You’re certain you don’t have a specific manner of eating? No special diet?”

“Jus’ dig in.” said Rarity as she ate. Macintosh looked curiously at the unicorn across from him. Rarity returned his look. “There ain’t nothin’ special to it.”

“Well I’m a bit… hesitant… to-”

“Ah may not eat as mussed-up as AJ, but you gotta be at least a lil’ bit curious what’s like.” said Rarity, eying Macintosh. “Think practical-like: when’s the next time yer gonna get the opportunity t’pig out?”

“‘Pig out’?” said Macintosh, short of disgusted. Rarity had summarized exactly what the mind inside the stallion was thinking. Rarity looked at Macintosh as she set her spoon down and threatened to demonstrate, lowering her face nearer to her bowl with a smile.

“Don’t you dare.” said Macintosh adamantly.

Rarity stopped and set the bowl down, still watching Macintosh overcome his mental battle as he stared at his food. ‘Well Rarity, when’s the next time you’ll have licence to be so uncouth?’ he thought. ‘Might as well give it a try.’ He bent down and took a bite of the salad. It was far sweeter than he expected, and satisfying to the taste. With another few bites, Macintosh was gobbling the contents of the bowl and before Rarity could have a fourth spoonful of her portion, the stallion had finished and served himself some more.

“Hgh, I can see why Applejack loves eating like this,” said Macintosh with a partly full mouth and droplets of fruit juice trickling down his cheeks. “This is fun!”

“Usually is, first thing in th’mornin. Though Ah ain’t usually a mess-maker like that.” chuckled Rarity. She pointed with the spoon to some melon and slices of strawberry that had ended up on the table beside the bowl. Macintosh gave a nervous laugh as Rarity passed him a small cloth to wipe his face.

“I’m not used to fruit being this sweet- why does it taste so good?” he said.

“Ah don’t eat much fruit- eatin’ apples is eatin’ profits, the way Ah see it. Eatin’ from the garden is what it’s there for, though AJ don’t hold herself t’that as much.” said Rarity.

“What do you normally eat for breakfast?”

“Whatever’s there. Oatmeal, crisp, hearty trail mix, carrots,”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Beets, potaters-”

“You mean you-” Macintosh pointed, then stopped and pointed at himself. “This pony actually eats those dreadful bitter things?”

“Plenty ah’ starch an’ minerals,” said Rarity amiably. “Plus they’re nice mashed, like savory puddin’.”

“Well you will eat no such things while you are in my body.” said Macintosh resolutely. “I demand that you continue to eat my normal diet, if at the very least to avoid indigestion.”

“Well then you gotta eat my normal diet.” said Rarity, reflecting his tone haughtily.

“Fine.”

An awkward moment passed as they stared at each other. Rarity looked down, pondering at their exchange.

“Miss Rar-err,” she started, before stopping abruptly. Spike walked through the doorway, pulled a bottle of ink out of a drawer by the sink and left again, eying Rarity with a peculiar expression that her mind had no idea how to interpret. Macintosh saw right through Spike’s confusion of her former crush.

“Rarity, we’re gonna hav’ta get along if we’re not intendin’ to drive each other ‘round the bend by days’ end.” she continued.

“Very well, but what do you propose we do until Twilight can come up with a solution to…” Macintosh gestured to all of himself. “…This…”

“Well you could do th’work Ah was gonna do today.”

“I’d rather not.” said Macintosh immediately. “Which reminds me, I was going to the spa with- Aha, I do have plans today. Or rather, you do. I go to the spa every week with Fluttershy,” Rarity suddenly had a very shocked look on her face and gulped loudly. “And you wouldn’t want to be held responsible for holding that up now, would you?”

Rarity’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
“W-w-with F-Fluttershy? J-just the tw-”

“Of course not, Big Mac.” replied the stallion, putting his hoof through his mane. “I don’t think I could stand another moment in this body without the foreknowledge that it’s going to get at least a proper bath and hair trimmed.”

“B-b-but!-”

“No buts’. We are going to the spa and that’s final.” said Macintosh matter-of-factly.

“Well- Then-! Then yer’ gonna till the corn field today.” said Rarity solidly.

“Till?”

“Yoke you up an’ drag the ol’ scrapin’ harrow up an’ down the field, churnin’ the soil.”

“‘Churning the soil’? How revolting, I refuse.” said Macintosh, looking to the side.

“If you won’t, Ah will.”

Macintosh glared at Rarity.

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.” said Macintosh as strongly as he could. Rarity stared back with mischievous eyes that looked uncannily similar to an expression Applejack might have. He wasn’t sure if he was more afraid of that than the risk of Rarity’s mane being ruined.

“Try me.” said Rarity with a smile. She chewed and spat to the side all-too expertly, hitting the interior of a trashcan like a spittoon. Macintosh bit his lip as he looked at the imperilled fabulosity of the unicorn. Their staring contest lasted only a moment.

“Alright, you win!” he yelled. “I’ll try my hoof at…*gulp* farming…” said Macintosh, defeated. He put his face in hooves, leaning over the counter.

“Sheesh, it ain’t so bad.” said Rarity, standing and walking to the other end of the counter. “Besides, you’ll probl’y find it easy as pie usin’ my body.”

“I won’t enjoy it.” said Macintosh. Rarity shrugged with a friendly expression as if she didn’t care. “We’ll do all that…” he shuddered from tail to tip. “Ugh… dirty farm-work first, and then go to the spa afterward. Agreed?”

“Eyup.” said Rarity. She extended her hoof, and they shook.

Spike re-entered, a quill perched between the spines in his head, and carrying another book.
“You two finished eating?”

“Eeyup, Ah’m stuffed.” said Rarity. The two followed Spike as he led them back to the main room of the library.

“Come to think of it, that didn’t fill me at all.” said Macintosh.

“You can eat more in a little bit.” said Twilight, suddenly standing directly in front of Macintosh, pulling his head down with a cloud of magic and staring him between the eyes.

“Uh-” Rarity managed to utter, a measuring tape flying near and around her neck, legs and horn.

“Twilight, what are you-Ooh!” exclaimed Macintosh as another tape held by magic, flew and took measurements of the tall stallion and his various proportions.

“Sorry Big Ma… Rari… uh…”

“Big Marity?” suggested Spike, looking on from the stairwell. Twilight gave him a smirk, before returning to the book she had hovering nearby.

“I looked through all I could find on ‘personality’ and ‘replacement’ but there wasn’t much overlap between them.” She snapped the book shut. “‘Big Marity’, do you like farming?”

“I can’t say that I do.” said the stallion. Twilight’s quill scribbled something onto a notepad hovering beside her head.

“…‘Rarintosh’, can you use magic?”

“Huh?” The unicorn was taken aback at the question and tried to look up at her horn, almost cross-eyed. “Ah didn’t even notice any of it.”

“But can you use it?” asked Twilight. Rarity strained even harder trying to look at her horn.

“…How?” she said, giving up.

“Okay, Rarintosh isn’t getting any magical connection response, so that means Big Macintosh’s whole earth-pony spirit is still there. It hasn’t been morphed into a unicorn’s.”

“What about me?” said Macintosh worriedly. He started frantically pacing around the room, looking at different objects on the walls and shelves. “Do I still have my magic? I can’t sense it!”

“It’s probably still there, just innate.” said Twilight. “You’re still imagining how to manipulate things, right?”

“Yes but nothing’s happening!” he exclaimed, picking up Twilight, holding her high and tightly.

“Calm down, Marity!” Twilight gasped, through his fearful hug. He put her back down. “It’s still there, you just can’t use it for now.”

“So do you know what happened to them, Twilight?” asked Spike. Twilight pulled a long parchment closer and read it alongside her notebook.

“I initially suspected poison joke. But from what I can tell, that would’ve only changed them in a funny way, not actually switching their minds.”

“What’s th’ difference?” said Rarity. Twilight looked at her, and looked up with thought.

“..If Rarity was still Rarity except because of a spell she was acting like- er,”

“Applejack. Or her brother.” said Macintosh, looking rather dissatisfied at Rarity. Twilight continued.

“Then why would she care about the pony she was resembling? I’ve noticed how you’ve been moving around, Rarintosh. You’re moving more carefully than Rarity does because you’re worried about bumping into anything with a body that you don’t think is yours.”

“Talk about an ‘out-of-body experience’.” said Spike. Twilight eyed him for his quip, then returned to her notes.

“Do you remember anything from yesterday that might have caused this?”

“That’s strange…” began Macintosh. “I feel as though I do recall, but I can’t remember exactly what happened. What about you.. er… Rarintosh?”

The little white unicorn put her hoof up to her chin and thought, before she set it back down, shaking her head.
“Nope.”

Twilight began another flurry of scribbling.
“This will probably take me a little longer. If I can’t find anything, I’ll go see Zecora and see what she thinks.”

“I’d rather not have this all that publicized, Twilight.” said the stallion.

“I know, but Zecora has lots more knowledge about different kinds of magical or near-magical powers. If I can’t find a solution from her, I’ll send a letter to the Princess about it. She should be able to find something in the Royal Library.”

“How long’d that take?” asked the unicorn.

“Probably all day, more or less.” said Twilight, glancing at a day-planner. “I’ll work as fast as I can.” she said, looking back at them confidently.

“Besides!” said Spike, hopping down in front of Big Macintosh. “If you don’t want anypony to know about it, you’d have to pretend to actually be Big Macintosh.” he pointed.

Macintosh looked forwards with a raised eyebrow.
“…An’ speak laik this?” he drawled.

“I guess. Rarintosh, try to speak like Rarity would.” suggested Spike.

“…Ah guess- er.. I can try, dar-ling.” said Rarity awkwardly. Her eyes flitted, estranged with the attempt, and she walked back into the kitchen. Twilight’s mouth was pressed shut trying not to laugh.

“Regardless of if I can keep this a secret or not, I want to be out of this body as fast as possible.” said Macintosh. He held his forehoof as far away from his head as he could. “You have absolutely no idea what it’s like.”

“Haha, I’m sure I don’t!” laughed Twilight. “I’m sure I’ll never know what it’s like to be a stallion! Ha ha ha!”

Rarity returned, carrying a small brown thing, which she took and showed to Spike.

“Spike, would it be okay if Ah- er, ‘Marity’ had this?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Here.” Rarity gave it to Big Macintosh and he held it up.

“An entire loaf of bread?”

“Ev’ry calorie you eat you burn the same day. You’ll need it, unless you wanna feel groggy all mornin’.” said Rarity.

“If I get tired, can’t I just have a nap like Applejack?” said Macintosh.

“In th’ middle of a field?” replied Rarity with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh.. er-”

“Be my guest. A’course if you fall asleep with gear on, you’ll sink in the mud a lil’.”

“That’s the last thing I would want.”

“You wouldn’t get stuck.” shrugged Rarity. She bumped the stallion in the leg. “Jus’ a mite bothersome ‘cause by the time you finish the field all the mud dries on yer hooves an’ feels all funny.”

The stallion stared a very grim look at Rarity.

“...Give me that.” he said quickly, snatching the loaf.

Chapter 4

4
~★~

“Counter-Actuality, often mistaken as a substrate power for romantic interpolation within the original “purist” view of Anti-Satiation Actuality, only functions as a rudimentary construct for soul superposition within local magic or non-magic axioms. However this foundational principal is still experimental at best and its basis is still disputed among modern magicians and satialogians, as far as Pre-Discordian Harmonlialism is concerned. For further information on Abstract of Soul Superposition via Counter-Actuality see Spiegel Romantik cf. “Love Spell Illusory and The Commonpony’s Unnormalism” p. 512 para 2. Incredibly Imaginative, I.o.I.I.&c. by I. Incognito.”

“Sheesh, I can’t understand a word of this stuff.” said Twilight, looking up from a thick brown tome. “Spike, can you find me ‘Incredibly Imaginative.. something or other’ by ‘Incognito’?”

“Got it!” said Spike from downstairs. Twilight looked at a few other books she’d left stacked nearby. They provided somewhat helpful but imprecise information on things that were sort of similar to what Marity and Rarintosh had told her about. She sighed quietly and rubbed her hooves softly against her temples.

“Uh… Twilight? I can’t find it.” said Spike.

“Check the Borrowing List, has it been checked-out?” replied Twilight.

“Already did, it should be here.”

“…Did you sneeze on it like you did with my Astronomer’s Guide?”

“No.” said Spike, partly annoyed.

“Are you sure you weren’t looking at lowercase L again?”

“Yes.” Twilight looked away from the notes at her desk as she heard the little dragon coming up the steps to her room. Spike entered carrying two smaller books and a rather confused expression. “I found two others where it should’ve been. ‘Incredible Cross-Sections of Canterlot Castle’ and ‘Iocane Immunity: Do It Yourself’.”

“What about other books by ‘Incognito’?”

“There aren’t any others on the List. What genre is it?”

“It doesn’t say.” said Twilight, looking back at the large book. “But if what’s supposed to be in it is any indication, this is high Theoretical Magic. At least, I think so.” Twilight flipped through it, looking at the finely inscribed tiny words and complicated diagrams. “This stuff’s in an entirely different language.”

“You can read it, right?” asked Spike.

“You tell me.” replied Twilight sarcastically. “What’s an ‘Axiom of Anti-Satiation Actualism’?” she quoted. Spike stared at her, baffled.

“Exactly.” continued the unicorn. “The magic we’re dealing with is really advanced. If this is a prank, this could only be done by a pony way smarter than I am.” She slapped the book shut, stepping away from the desk.

“So what’s next?” said Spike, putting the other books down.

“We’ll see if we can get a diagnosis from Zecora. My eyes are tired from reading- the research can wait. C’mon Spike, let’s go get Big Macintosh and Rarity.”

“Who?” said Owloysius.

“Rarintosh and Big Marity.” said Spike.

“Right.” finished Twilight.

~Ω~

In the mill pond hollow, the green light filtering through the leaves of the willows overhead had faded somewhat by the gathering of clouds. Big Macintosh had decided not to talk for a time, taking notice at Rarity’s meekness and quiet. In that time, it seemed that the unicorn was more comfortable with the unsaid decision. Big Macintosh kicked another stone out of the pond, and shuffled it towards a pile he’d constructed on the shore of the pond. Rarity stood next to the rough stack of smooth brown rocks, and tried to compare its height by toeing higher on her hooves. The stallion waded back into the pond near to where he last was.

“I can’t find any more rocks.” said Macintosh, venturing back towards the buoy.

“You sure?” said Rarity. She took a curious step towards the pond.

Macintosh’s expression went wide with warning.
“Aaa yes! I’ll make sure, just don’t get that mane wet.”

Rarity stopped on the edge of the grassy pond shore, silently taking the humor of how such a minor action posed such a major threat to the other. The stallion slowly paced larger and larger circles in the pond around the orange buoy, looking down into the dark clear water. The unicorn watched him, and likewise looked down, gazing at her reflection. Her soft expression and blue eyes bore into her. ‘Rarity… I need t’think of a better word than pretty. It just don’t do.. justice.’ she thought. Her look snapped up as Macintosh budged the buoy, sounding a little splash.

“Yes, I’m sure there aren’t any more rocks.” said the stallion, looking back at the ripples he formed.

“That’s great. Apple Bloom’ll love it.” said Rarity, shrugging off the previous thought.

“And now,” said the sodden stallion, trodding out of the pond with a fine layer of silt half way up his legs. “We go to the spa.”

Rarity inhaled deeply.
“Eeyup.” she said to herself through an exhale. Rarity led the way away from the pond, taking care to step over a very large root she hadn’t noticed on the way there.

As he walked, Macintosh pressed his eyes shut and shook some of the water. He stumbled over the root for a couple of steps. In annoyance, he looked back and kicked the root, putting an enormous gash into the fibrous gray obstruction. As Rarity looked back at him, her purple mane caught the corner of her eye and she looked down at her hair again.

‘..Can you be frank to a lady about liking how they look? What if Rarity takes it like I fancy bein’ in her body? Or if I like her. Do I like her? Oh consarn it…’

“Have something to say, Rarintosh?” said Macintosh, recognizing the look of the unicorn’s consternation.

“Well… Ah was thinkin’..” said Rarity.

“Thinking what?”

She slowly turned to face Big Macintosh.

“..Ah sure look beautiful.” Rarity admitted. Macintosh thought about the compliment.

“…Thank you, Rarintosh.” he smiled. Rarity almost turned away with a little movement of her head, but stopped. She gave a timid smile.

“You’re welcome.” Rarity replied softly.

“And if I might add,” started Macintosh, straightening his height and stride. He held up his forehoof, still thinly coated with sand. “I look absolutely handsome. The mud just adds to the ruddiness, don’t you think so?”

Rarity opened her mouth to speak but a different voice spoke into the gap.

“Top of the mornin’ you two, heh.” chuckled Applejack, coming through a path that intersected the route beside the field. She was carrying a basket on her back filled with rosy pink apples, and an equally rosy smile on her face.

“Hello Applejack.” greeted Macintosh.

“Enjoyin’ a proper hard day’s work?” asked the orange pony.

“Relatively speaking.” he replied. “I’ve finished my chores and now we’re on our way to the spa.”

Applejack sniggered at his mention.
“Gk- And Ah bet you’ll chat up a storm there too.”

“What?” replied Macintosh.

“Big Mac,”

“Marity.”

“You’ve made mah brother talk more in one day than he usually does in a year.”

“I don’t see how that’s an unusual observance, Applejack.” said the stallion casually. “You know I can’t help being a socialite.”

“Not that, Ah was talkin’ about you!” she pointed at Rarity.

“Me?” said the unicorn, taken aback from the claim.

“Must be th’brain in Rarity’s head that makes her talk all the time.” continued Applejack cheerfully. “Even if you looked a different pony, Ah woulda thought Big Macintosh would only open his mouth to say ‘Eeyup’ from time t’time but you,” Applejack gestured to the both of them. “You two ‘been gabbin’ up a storm the whole time out on the field. Never though Ah’d see the day my brother would talk to anypony longer than three words.”

“I suppose that’s true.” said Macintosh ponderously.

“Betcha it can’t last forever.” said Applejack, nudging Rarity in the shoulder. Rarity frowned slightly.

“Maybe Ah’m just comin’ out of mah shell a little.” she replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack looked at her, turning her head with partial surprise. At no point had Macintosh ever come up with the idea that he even lived in a shell.

“..Nothin’.” said Rarity, shrinking a little. To Macintosh, Applejack eyed Rarity with that sibling-sort of look again, a curious probing sort of suspicion. Applejack looked up at him.

“..So what chores did you do? Saw you tilled the field, nice work by the way.”

“Cleared the drainage pond. Ain’t much else that couldn’t be done later.” said Rarity coolly. Applejack returned to her wide-mouthed grin as before at the mention of ‘drainage pond’, so thoroughly enjoying the viewed irony of her petite friend doing her big brother’s chores, and especially messy ones at that.

“You cleaned the runoff? Okay then.” She started along the path again. “You two have fun at the spa, but make sure you get back to normal, y’hear?”

“Eeyup.” They said simultaneously. Applejack continued away in a merry springing trot, and Rarity continued away from the forest near the edge of the field towards the gate of the farm, with Macintosh following. They didn’t walk far before Macintosh assumed they were out of the sister’s hearing.

“Drainage pond?” said Macintosh, starting to sneer at his forehoof. “You mean to say I was wading through your farm’s mucky runoff?”

“Ah cleared the drainage yesterday. Ah tell AJ that t’hide what Ah’m doin’ at the Mill Pond. It’s a surprise for her too.” said Rarity.

“Ahh…” he replied, rolling his head upward with relief. “You had me worried. Ground salts are much harder to clean than a tiny bit of sand. And they smell funny.”

“Ah could say the same thing about the perfumes Ah woke up to.”

Macintosh frowned at Rarity.
“You think my perfume smells bad?”

“Smells funny.” repeated the unicorn.

“My perfume does not smell funny.” defended the stallion.

“…If you say so.” Rarintosh knew better than to try and continue against that.

“What are they talking about? I sure hope it’s something important and romantic.” whispered a unicorn’s voice in the forest, eyeing her two subjects. Trixie quietly hobbled through the jumble of the glen beyond the road, remaining hidden. She looked back into her binoculars, focusing. A different pony came into view from the corner of her eye, and she panned her look. “Oh, here comes Twilight Sparkle. Silence, Trixie.” said Trixie to Trixie.

“Marity! Rarintosh!” called Twilight along the road.

“Twilight!” Macintosh approached. “Oh please say you have some good news. Do you have a counter-spell or something?”

“Sorry…” said Twilight, bending low. “I looked through everything I could find but nothing helped. Half of what I read was dead ends.”

“What about the other half?” said Rarity, attentive to the other unicorn.

“I found some stuff that looked sort of relevant, but it’s all Theoretical Magic. It would take a far-more researched pony than me to make sense of it. We’re going to Zecora’s. Hopefully she has some potion that can set this right.”

‘And deprive myself of going to the spa like this?’ thought Macintosh.

‘What in the name of Celestia is thought like that?! You are a mare, Rarity. You want to be back to normal.’

‘But- right. Of course. What was I thinking?’ The stallion shook his head abruptly.
“Let’s go.” he replied.

Trixie eyed them as they turned and walked faster down the dirt road away from the farm.

“‘A far-more researched pony’? Twilight flatters the Great and Powerful Trixie. Unless… no, of course this is the spell I meant to use. Everything cannot possibly go wrong.”

-Ҩ-

Beyond the edge of Ponyville, the Everfree Forest was a forbidding wall of dark vegetation and prickly things. The partially cloudy day faded into a menacing night only a few paces into the shroud cast by gaudy purplish trees overhead. Twilight, Rarity and Big Macintosh went on the pathway that ventured inside, snaking through craggy old trees and various haggard plants. Macintosh and Rarity followed Twilight, and the lavender unicorn entered the forest entirely undaunted.

“Zecora’s is just a little ways inside the forest.” said Twilight, looking through the wild space to spot the path leading on. She smiled to herself, remembering Pinkie Pie’s adage of courage against the forest, and hummed it in her mind.

“Ah haven’t been inside the Everfree Forest since Ah was just a colt.” said Rarity, marvelling at the state of the overgrown environ.

“You’re not afraid are you?” said Macintosh, following carefully behind.

“Nope.” said Rarity. She looked back. “Are you?”

“I’m not afraid because I’ve been here before with my friends. It keeps spirits up, even when this place is so garish and stark.”

“Nothin’ a little prunin’ couldn’t fix.” said Rarity, flicking a thin intruding branch away from her head with a bat of her hoof.

“But the Everfree Forest grows by itself, Rarintosh.” said Twilight, tucking part of a bush back with a wisp of magic.

“So do weeds.” replied Rarity. “The way Ah see it, this is all just a big bunch of green-space that gone an’ got itself in a tangle. A pony could do a lot, fixin’ up a forest if he really wanted to.”

“I can’t exactly imagine the Everfree Forest becoming a botanical garden.” Macintosh eyed a tree trunk with Venus-flytraps growing around it, a bug pinched between the teeth of one of the plants.

“Neither can Ah. Not yet at least. It ain’t a lost cause though.” Rarity stopped and pointed to a small patch of dark red flowers aside from the path. Macintosh raised his eyebrow at the tiny flowers, bunched together and pushed inwards by thorny vines. “Just needs a little bit of care and repair. Could pretty it up mightily.”

“Beautifying, in other words.” Macintosh said, considering the flowers.

“Not so different, if you put it that way.” said Rarity as she continued on.

The stallion stopped, a memory haunting.
‘Not so different.’

“I’m not so clear on the technical distinctions between repair and aesthetic, if that’s what you two are talking about.” Twilight said, still looking around the foliage that surrounded the path like a wide-berthed tunnel. “But I know there’s a few different spells that can modify tree shapes. That might brighten things up a little bit. Maybe we could do some magical experiments Rarity, when we have the opportunity some other… Uh… Marity?”

“Yes?” said the stallion, somewhat absent-mindedly. Twilight turned to look at her friends behind her.

“You two are staring at each other.”

Rarity and Macintosh continued walking after Twilight in unfamiliar silence. For the moment they avoided looking at each other before their views curled back and they looked at each other again, then both looked at Twilight.

“Um.. It’s.. still unusual to see myself like this.” said Macintosh.

“Eyup.” said Rarity.

“Whatever you say.” Twilight looked at them with a somewhat confused expression.

The three rounded a larger thick tree nearby a thinned out patch of stones, before the path became narrower and went over a small rise in the understudy of the forest. A vague hint of smoke came from beyond the trees, laced with some kind of herbal scent.

“Zecora’s hut is just beyond that rise over there.” said Twilight.

“Great, and then we’ll be back to normal.” said Macintosh.

“What are they doing?” hissed Trixie in a biting tone, gazing through her binoculars standing neck deep in the bushes a distance to the side of them. She twisted herself over an overgrown root that stood at neck-height, and tried to hide while sitting on top, brushing aside a few bluish flowers and a snail. “They can’t just have somepony else interfere with my plans like this. Trixie must stop them!” ‘CRACKABOOM!’ “Wait what?-”

There was a loud sound of thunder, and the trees above shuddered. Water plummeted down arriving in a wave like an intangible wet curtain, immediately making the four ponies almost invisible to each other within a volume of showering droplets.

“Oh my, what a downpour.” remarked Macintosh, looking up at the abrupt rain. Rarity looked outwards, straining to see through the occlusion of the weather.

“Twilight?” The other unicorn had seemingly vanished in the fog-like conditions. Macintosh took up at the friend’s disappearance.
“Twilight!” called the stallion.

A bright flash smartly illuminated the whole forest, and Rarity saw a unicorn’s silhouette just beyond the path. She jumped farther away, escaping into the distance.

“There, just through the mist.” pointed Rarity.

“How did she get there?” Macintosh galloped into the thicket after the other pony towards where she saw. “Twilight, slow down!”

“Marity, wait up!” Rarity called after.

The stallion stopped where he thought he saw the other unicorn amongst broad-leafed bushes, swivelling his head around in the obtrusive darkness. His was a face of growing fear.
“She’s disappeared!” he exclaimed. “Twilight! Twilight!”

“Where’s the path?” asked Rarity, catching up to the broad-standing stallion. She couldn’t see much above eye-height through the shrubbery but Macintosh could see no better. The forest with the rain hid where they came from very well, and the stallion bit his lip as his focus darted around, looking for a landmark or another pony.

“Oh dear.” he said, his voice with a tiny quiver. If his voice would accommodate, it tried to sound feminine. “Are we lost?”

“We’re only a little ways into the forest.” said Rarity calmly. “We’ll find ourselves when this rain clears; it can’t last. Not at this rate.”

The stallion calmed, looking down at his companion and their surroundings. He sighed a brief breath.
“What could’ve caused this?” he said, looking up at the canopy.

Rarintosh suddenly remembered how Applejack intended to prank Rainbow Dash. Likely the fence wouldn’t be painted that day.
“Ah think Ah might know.” said Rarity. She felt a sensation tugging and looked down, “Oh, my mane.”

“Oh horsefeathers my mane!” exclaimed Macintosh urgently, coming closer.

“Cover me.” replied Rarity, sitting down away from a tangling bush.

“Er... How?” said the stallion, trying not to worry as droplets began to render the unicorn’s hair a darker purple with moisture.

She looked up and around the space, and stopped at a thin tree overhead.
“Pull that down there. And tie it off with a root.” she pointed. Big Macintosh pulled the tree sideways into an arc, its branches forming an ad-hoc umbrella, and he tied a loose root on the forest floor to the tip of the tree, leaving it stuck arched over the white unicorn. “Spread those leaves.” said Rarity.

Macintosh pulled the branches out a little farther.
“It’s still not covering enough.” Macintosh worried as he looked.

Rarity looked around, then looked at him, and gestured beside her.

“Stand here.”

Macintosh took a stride closer, right beside and partly over Rarity, his body providing adequate cover to one side and the partial makeshift from the bent tree on the other. They sat there in the quiet white noise of the showering weather, quietly holding the moment. Macintosh adjusted himself, shuffling from the left to the right, and his foreleg nudged Rarity’s hoof. The mutual feeling of their skin against one another and the warmth contrasting the rapidly cooling air made Rarity immediately pull her hoof away in surprise. Macintosh hadn’t noticed.

“…Thank you.” said Macintosh, ending the pause. He looked down and she looked up, at each other. “It is, well, in a manner of speaking, chivalrous of you.” He gestured to the bent tree. “Vicarious, but chivalrous nonetheless, helping me keep Rarity’s mane dry.”

The quiet of the pattering rain reigned for a moment again, as the unicorn thought about a response.

“…Since Ah’m on the receivin’ end,” said Rarity, “Should Ah say thank you or yer welcome?”

They laughed as they considered the turning of the situation.

“You in your normal body would’ve done the same though, right?” asked Macintosh.

“Wouldn’t be in my right mind if Ah didn’t.”

As their glances met again, Macintosh smiled. Rarity bore a small grin with a tiny blush, and they both chuckled again. A distant thunderclap sounded, and they listened to it resonate.

“I’m glad, Rarintosh,” said the stallion. “You’re one of those ponies that genuinely cares for another’s behalf.” Macintosh raised a hoof and looked at his fetlock. “Then again, not everypony gets a chance at ‘walking in another’s shoes’ so viscerally.”

“Ah may not be a smart pony but Ah know Ah ain’t a dumb one. And anypony that don’t have half a mind to treat a lady with proper respect ain’t got a half worth havin’.”

Rarity’s comment suddenly bore a reminder to the stallion of a series of incidents at a very specific Gala with a very specific Prince who shall not be named. Macintosh winced with his stern consideration of the memory.

“Somethin’ wrong?” asked Rarity.

“Oh, it’s nothing…” said Macintosh resignedly. There was a pause, and Macintosh looked down. Rarity had a very savvy sort of disposition, if her face was anything to go by.
“What?” asked the stallion.

“Big Mac lives with three other mares. It’s never just ‘nothin’.” said Rarity, returning to look out towards the forest. She shrugged. “But Ah ain’t dumb enough to press you if you don’t want t’talk about it.”

Big Macintosh considered a response but couldn’t think of anything to say. As quickly as it started, the rain ended, drizzling back into a silence and the fog clearing away.

“Ah, the rain’s stopped.” He remarked.

“…arity! ….intosh…!” called a voice through the forest.

“Twilight?” said Macintosh, standing taller.

“Marity?” said the voice with slightly more clarity.

“Twilight over here! We’re Augh!”

Macintosh and Rarity suddenly slipped as a large bush the stallion was half-standing on gave way to an overhanging drop off, letting the two ponies slide down a small embankment onto a partial clearing in front of an ornately carved house in the base of a very swirly-looking tree. Twilight ran up and looked over the mudslid verge, at the bottom of which her two friends sat.

“There you are. Why’d you run away?” said Twilight, cautiously easing her way down the partial hill. She tried not to slip on the muddy slope, stepping on roots where she could.

“Ah followed this one.” said Rarity, poking Macintosh in the barrel. “You ran away.”

“I was following Twilight the entire time.” replied Macintosh. He turned to Twilight. “Why did you run into the bushes?”

“I stayed on the path.” said Twilight with a raised eyebrow as she walked past. The other two stood, following her.

“Then who was standing out and away from…” began the stallion.

“It doesn’t matter,” interrupted Twilight. “Come on, let’s get you two set straight.”

They rounded the tree, coming to the front of Zecora’s cottage. It was a twisted gnarly whorl-covered tree with bottles on strings that accompanied the vines hanging from every branch. Macintosh leant low to avoid bopping his head on some of the lower-hanging ones. A strange spicy something wafted through the air, completed the entire look and character of the lodgings. Rarity eyed the strange masks that led the way to the entrance, as Macintosh stared at the one mounted above the door. It perplexed him how it could ever mean ‘welcome’.
Twilight wiped her hooves on the mat and knocked twice gently, hoping patiently for Zecora’s knowledge to exceed her own, at least as far as her friends were concerned.

“On this day, who goes there?

Is it but a stallion or a mare?” a cordial accented voice came from inside.

“In short, yes.” said Macintosh through a smirk.

“Zecora, it’s Twilight. I’ve brought a couple friends, we could use your help.”

A zebra pushed the door open, greeting them with a soothing smile. She looked at Macintosh and Rarity, immediately sensing something not quite right with the two, that wasn’t readily apparent in their faces. She looked back at Twilight.

“Twilight, I’m so glad you’ve come.

What problem are you coming from?”

“Definitely not an ordinary one.” said the farm pony in a formal tone.

“Eeyup.” drawled the unicorn.

“Let me guess, before I’m sorry:

The explanation is a long story?”

Twilight perked up a little.
“Actually a similar sort of thing happened in a fiction novel by Marey Rodgers because of-”

“Twilight, can we get on with this?” interrupted Macintosh.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Twilight’s ears curled back a little as she sheepishly smiled.

Zecora showed Macintosh, Twilight and Rarity inside, towards a corner of her home with large puffy and ornately woven pillows. Rarity stared at the simplistic natural inside of the tree and its adornments. Zecora poured them each a cupful of tea as they explained the happenstance of their day. Her silent listening told volumes of her attentive kindness.

“…So ever since we talked with Twilight we’ve been waitin’ on her answer.” said Rarity.

“But I’m stumped.” added Twilight. “All my research led to confusing research or made-up fairy tales.”

“Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

But did theory lose you with diction?” said Zecora, taking a large jar of a shiny silky white substance and pouring it into the cauldron mounted in the center of the room.

“Very.” replied Twilight. “And the only book that might’ve helped is missing from my library.”

Zecora gave a small frown at Twilight before returning to gathering somethings from a shelf covered with various bottles arranged by color.

“I remember self-help once forsook,

Because you judged the cover of a book.”

“This isn’t like the poison joke, Zecora. I really don’t have it.” said Twilight, walking around to the other side of the cauldron.

“Your honest word I do trust,” replied the zebra. She looked at the stallion and other unicorn.

“But your friends’ say will be the thrust:

I may not have riddles to hide my power,

But I do have a brew that could help,”
She hoisted a seemingly impossible number of limes in one hoof and dumped them into the cauldron, giving it a stir. “But it’s sour.”

“Anything will help, Zecora.” said Macintosh, standing and looking into the pot. Rarity stood at a distance from the cauldron.

“Last time Macintosh drank a potion it didn’t end really well.” said Rarity. Macintosh gripped his chin and frowned, trying to remember.

“…Oh that’s right, you and Miss Cheerilee made a terrible mess of my shop and front lawn.”

“Good thing we got that sorted out.” said Rarity, commenting on what she thought was the far past.

“Wait!” interrupted Twilight sharply. “That was only the day before yesterday. How could you two forget already?”

The question struck both of the other ponies with surprise and Macintosh remarked with more amazement than he liked.
“..I don’t know.”

“Zecora, do you think forgetfulness is another symptom we should diagnose?” asked Twilight.

The zebra shook a fine red powder into the cauldron from a mortar and pestle.

“A blurry memory, I am not sure

If important to this problem it is, or cure.

A Back-to-Normal potion can help, or might

It’s all I believe can fix your plight.

If not, you should think of a better plan,

Perhaps a pony to solve this who can.”

“I’ve already planned for that,” said Twilight, eyeing Zecora as she individually cracked five small gray egg-like things into the colorful soup. “Hopefully we won’t have to bring it up to the Princess though.”

“But you will try, dear Zecora?” said Macintosh, putting his forehooves onto the brim of the cauldron and resting his jaw, trying to frame his face cutely against the edge. Zecora smiled with a wise sort of regard.

“Very well my good pony friends.

The Back-to-Normal potion beckons.” she said, pushing one of Macintosh’s hooves off the brim with a spoon. He stood up properly, as Rarity approached to see better and Zecora added more ingredients. She continued with a harmonious timbre.

“Fresh oak root and apple bud flower

To restore a sweet red stallion plower,

Lavender and a myrtle bunch leaf,

Unicorn and Earthen hidden beneath.”

The potion went to a deep red as the flecks of myrtle contacted the fluid, hinting towards purple.

“Oil of vanilla, saffron and wrin

To append the mare that’s held within.”

As Zecora poured the mixture of oils into the potion, it took on a reddish purple color with white sparkles in it that vaguely shone like dull sand. All in all it resembled some kind of pudding. Zecora took a ladle and poured into two finely detailed clay mugs. Macintosh and Rarity each took one, looked at it, looked at each other and looked at Zecora. Zecora and Twilight watched them expectantly.

“All is well if made correct,

It should cure what ails you yet.”

The two looked at each other again.

“Bottoms up.” said Rarity.

“Votre santé.” replied Macintosh.

Rarity took down the potion in one swig as best she could manage, and Macintosh drank his in a couple gulps. Rarity coughed once slightly, as she returned her mug to Zecora, while Macintosh held his. Their faces both puckered up, and a faint citrus aroma filled the air. There was a sudden flash of bright light all around the two ponies and a puff of smoke that disappeared in the shape of fluttering spirals in their respective colors. As the smoke cleared, the two ponies appeared clean. Big Macintosh’s legs had lost the dirt on them and hair had been dried slightly, and yoke straightened. Rarity stood there, looking partially bewildered with properly added eye shadow and a properly curled mane, as if she hadn’t been in a rainstorm in the minutes previous. The two blinked in surprise.

“They’re back to normal!” exclaimed Twilight, rushing over to the other side of the cauldron.

“So it would seem on the outside,

But did it change anything beyond their hide?” said Zecora, putting away the one mug and coming closer.

“Did it work?” said Twilight, standing near to Rarity. Rarity’s eyes opened wider, and she opened her mouth to speak, angling back slightly on her neck. “Well?”

“Ah…Atchu!” Rarity hopped with a petite sneeze.

“Twilight, I feel very masculine.” said Big Macintosh. She looked at him, not quite understanding. “This can’t be right.”

Twilight’s smile faded as Rarity spoke up.

“Aw, applebutter.” she said, looking back at her tail as she gave it a flip.

“Just as I suspected of my medication,

A soul is unaffected by the preparation.”

“Thanks anyways Zecora.” Twilight sighed resignedly. “I guess all I can do now is write to the Princess. No doubt she can solve it, but I just hope we don’t have to go all the way to Canterlot to-”

“Celestia forbid!” exclaimed the stallion. “There is no way in all of Equestria I- I mean, Rarity couldn’t possibly go to Canterlot looking like this.” He said, gesturing with his hoof widely at Rarity.

Rarity looked down at herself and back at the stallion. Then her face contorted in confusion.
“..Wait, what?”

~Ω~

Twilight led the way to the door and gestured her friends follow. The air beyond the hut was fresh and clean after the rain, and pleasing to sense after the peculiar smell within Zecora’s abode.

“Good luck my friends so mixed.

Whatever you need to have this nixed.”

“Goodbye, Zecora.” said Twilight in a tone that so-slightly hinted a defeat.

“Now what do we do?” said Rarity.

“I guess you two will just have to spend some more time until I can get Spike to send a letter for me and get a response.” said Twilight, starting towards the path.

“Then it’s off to the spa for you and I, Rarintosh.” said Macintosh eagerly, giving a not-so-tiny hop.

Twilight stopped and turned. The excitement in the stallion’s voice was very alien, considering. “…Marity,” She looked thoroughly puzzled, and spoke cautiously. “Do you like being a stallion?”

The three stood there for a moment at the realized obtuse possibility.

“…I..” started the stallion. “..Of course not.”

Twilight looked at him with a raised eyebrow, then back at Rarity, and turned to continue on the path.

“..I’ll get on with that letter. See you two later.” said Twilight, heading into the woods. The two stood there in their curious repose, before Rarity continued on again and Macintosh followed.
For a distance they walked without speaking, through the forest under the winding branches and vines that threatened Macintosh’s scruffy mane with the low-hangings over his tall head. Some leaves scraped past his head but he barely noticed, watching where he tread behind the unicorn, deep in thought. As they reached the verge of the forest that opened back into the countryside of green hills that surrounded Ponyville, Macintosh spoke up.

“Rarintosh…” he started, “Are we enjoying this?”

They walked for another oddly thoughtful moment before the unicorn responded.

“Eeyynnooii don’t know.” slurred Rarity. “Ah was worried you thought Ah thought Ah liked this.”

“There is a certain novelty to having all the strength and so on from being a stallion.” said Macintosh.

“An it’s nice bein’ pretty.” said Rarity in an imitating tone, tossing her mane. Macintosh smiled to himself, recognizing the unprofessional manner that she did it, so alike how Rarity would’ve done it at a younger age.

“It’s even more fun when ponies give you attention.” said Macintosh sweetly, then seriously. “But still, when you think about it, we can’t possible let this last. Rarity has a job and so does Big Macintosh. You can’t simply idle around the farm for who-knows-how-long teaching me how to do work, and I can’t teach you the necessary magic to perform my work tasks.”

“Speakin’ a’ which, is it the horn that’s makin’ my head tickle?” asked Rarintosh, softly touching her horn. “It’s gonna give me a mite headache.”

“Maybe you can learn magic, given time.” replied the stallion.

“It feels weird. Ah don’t like it.”

“I don’t expect you would. Even so, you’re a farm pony. I can’t imagine that you have the creative talent that would need to equal my own, were you to remain using my body.”

“Eeyup.” smiled Rarity. “Ah’d never be able to make somethin’ as magnificent as your dresses.”

“Oh you’ve seen my work?” said Macintosh picking up interest, walking in league with Rarity.

“A little, Ah guess. What Ah remember of AJ’s get-up- Ah mean dress. It was really nice.”

“Thank you Rarintosh.” said the stallion. He thought about the enthusiasm that drove the inspiration, and all the overstressed deliberations that went into Applejack’s dress oh-so long ago. And then a different thought occurred, and he wasn’t sure why it engaged him. “…‘Magnificent’,” he repeated. “Now there’s a word I haven’t heard from you before.”

Rarity avoided eye-contact.
‘Perhaps bein’ around Rarity is influencin’ me more than Ah thought…’ her mind alleged. ‘But was that bein’ creative? …Naw, ‘was just usin’ a fancy word rightly. It’s just practical.’

“..Just thought Ah’d try a fancier word.” said the unicorn. “Sayin’ everything’s ‘pretty’ just don’t cut it.”

Macintosh looked Rarity up and down as he walked.
“Oh, you’ll feel prettier still, after we’ve gone to the spa.”

Rarity’s mood suddenly vanished, and she looked forwards with an unresolved sort of estrangement. Macintosh became curious at her unexpected quiet and looked down at her. She was staring forwards.

“Rarintosh, you look nervous.”

“Ah’m fine.” said Rarity, in a very deliberate voice.

“Are you sure?” insisted Macintosh.

“Yes.”

Chapter 5

5
~≈~

Ponyville was abuzz with the common commerce of a perfectly ordinary day, unaware of the odd couple of ponies walking in their midst. Big Macintosh carried on detailing the finer points of how to ensure Rarity’s spa attendance wouldn’t go wrong, the positions to hold, the ways to get the most out of her beautification procedures, and he tried to limit the gestures of his descriptions after almost hitting his head on an awning earlier. Rarity was paying less attention to him than she was with where they were going with greater and greater worry as they walked, guided by the stallion’s keen awareness of the spa’s address.

“…And I usually keep my head at a slight angle, about two-thirds from straight up for when they file my horn. The massage should be straightforward, anything that makes you more comfortable should be fine, the ponies there know what to do. Do you remember what I told you about full body mud wraps?”

“‘The Usual’, got it.” said Rarity, still staring forwards. Macintosh stopped his train of thought and looked at Rarity.

“Rarintosh, are you absolutely certain nothing’s wrong? It’s just a spa.” said Macintosh, as they rounded the corner to the town square. The spa building sat on the other side, and Rarity looked at it with undivided concern, standing still.

“Where’s Fluttershy? she said, trying to avoid the subject. Only after she said it she realized she hadn’t avoided answering Macintosh’s question at all. The stallion began to think.

‘Why would Rarintosh ask about Fluttersh- Oh… I never thought Big Macintosh was that kind of pony…’

‘Are they smitten? If Fluttershy was, she probably would’ve told me by now. No. They can’t be. Fluttershy would definitely have given it away by now.’

‘It could be a crush…’

‘You’re speculating again, Rarity. Seeing things that might not be happening. All Rarintosh said was one word and you’re extrapolating to no end. Stay sensible.’

‘I’d better avoid Fluttershy as Big Macintosh.’ realized the stallion. ‘I don’t want to unnecessarily complicate things by interfering in somepony’s relationship. Or lack thereof. Fluttershy is Rarity’s friend and I’m sure Rarintosh can manage simply that.’

“She’s probably inside. She usually arrives early and waits for me- er- Rarity to arrive. You go on ahead and meet her.” said the stallion, taking a step back. “I’ll wait here for a little while, it would be strange for Fluttershy to see me like this.” he said, Macintosh tapping his yoke. “Or, er…. Whatever, you know what I mean.”

Rarity gulped quietly, and began walking slowly forwards.
‘Alright, Macintosh, you can do this.’ thought Rarity. ‘Rarity and Fluttershy are friends and it’s just like taking a fancy bath but with tweezers instead of a brush. Or somethin’ like that….
Stop being so nervous, body. You’re makin’ a scene.’

The unicorn picked up speed, and she walked so fast it was just short of a run until she came to the door of the spa-house. Macintosh sniggered at the unicorn’s uneasy dash, the sight of the little white unicorn anxiously crossing the square compared to the average unminding crossings of other ponies.

Rarity arrived in front of the spa building. Its pink draped roof and the peaceful yellow mare signboard above the door all the more strongly reinforced the unicorn’s presumptions of spa-going being a highly effeminate luxury. She wondered for a tiny moment if the flowers on the sign were scratch-and-sniff. Before her was the glass door to the spa’s office. Rarity took a long deep breath and held it, and pushed the door wide, ringing a blissful entrance bell.

The spa had a friendly and haute sort of décor with a green lounge chair sitting beside a table. Unlit candles rounded the counters and stylish plastic fixtures were on every wall and the ceiling. It was like a cross between an art gallery and a dentist’s waiting room, sporting a large stylized illustration of a full mare’s body on the wall. Rarity avoided looking at it and her eyes met with the attendant at the desk, a sweet-looking light blue earth pony that was reading from a small pamphlet that read ‘Rio De Janeighro’. She looked around the space some more, until it became obvious that her arrival had gained the attention of the attendant quite noticeably.

“…Where’s Fluttershy?” said Rarity, trying to hold her composure.

“She hasn’t shown up yet.” said the spa pony. Rarity walked around to the other side of the small table that held magazines, glancing at a few of their covers. All fashion, all flashy, all entirely flat, thought the unicorn.

“Would you like to wait?” asked the blue pony.

“Uh- no,” said Rarity, partially overwhelmed by the different things in the room that all apparently were relevant to beauty and relaxation. “Just.. ‘The Usual’.”

The attendant got off her chair and led Rarity down an opening beside the desk that led to a wider room with several stations with mirrors around the edge, and an enormous bathtub in the middle of the space. Rarity marveled at all the fixtures as behind her the attendant gathered a robe and a towel. She eyed Rarity as she walked past towards a cedar-paneled door, as if she expected Rarity to go there by herself in the first place, and led Rarity through the door into a ready-prepared sauna. It was intensely warm but definitely dry. She passed her the towel and robe, and shut the door as she exited. Rarity was left standing in the dim light of the wooden room, looking at the benches, holding the towel. Before she let herself become nervous again, she took the towel and placed it on a bench near the corner and put on the robe. Like the duvet blanket that morning, the soft plush inside was disturbingly comfortable. She slid it on carefully, as if treating it like a lesser piece of clothing would hurt the robe’s feelings. A different attendant, identical to the previous pony (but pink) entered with a wooden bucket, and poured a scoop of water onto the rocks, which flashed with a crisp sensuous hiss. The steam came up and swirled in Rarity’s face, and she blinked hard. The wave of warmth was the polar opposite of jumping in the river- equally stimulating and shocking, but instead of inspiring the desire to leap out of the sensation, she felt like she wanted to melt and engorge herself with it further, as long as her body would tolerate. She inhaled deeply but immediately stopped, a sharp piercing feeling coming from her nostrils. It seemed steam saunas were a mouth-breathing affair. Rarity sighed deeply, finally letting her shoulders sink.

“Feels like it has been a long time, Miss Rarity?” said the attendant, watching the unicorn relax onto her towel, her eyelids drooping.

Rarity only managed to sigh with a tiny nod. The attendant smiled and added another scoop onto the rocks.

~Ʊ~

Fluttershy, despite her best efforts, was not a pony that could be on time for everything every day. It was why she made a point of arriving early at the spa if possible. But alas, the day on which Big Macintosh and Rarity found themselves in such a mixed predicament was not such a day. She ran past hedge and home, politely asking to move past those who were in her way, and trying not to worry too much.

“That mailcolt was right…” she said aloud to herself. “Oh Fluttershy, when will you buy a watch?” She sped through the rows of shopping stalls in the marketplace, around the fountain behind the town square just behind the spa, turned on a corner and suddenly she ran smack into the chest of Big Macintosh. Her face hit just above his yoke in the ruff of his chest and she fell back on her rump, dazed and mind swirling from the collision. The stallion saw her with far less of an impression, feeling only a bump against the yoke. His mouth went agape, as Fluttershy shook her head and regained her countenance.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” said Fluttershy, backing away and barely even comprehending what it was she crashed into. Two chirping chickadees flew an unhelpful circle around her head before speeding away.

Macintosh looked at Fluttershy, carefully considering his next words.
‘Oh dear. Fluttershy’s late? This certainly makes things awkward..’

“Oh, um… H-hello, Big Macintosh.” said Fluttershy, as she gained clarity of what she saw, and stepped back a few uncertain steps. “I’m sorry for running into you.”

‘Stay sensible, Rarity. Short and to the point. You don’t want to interfere unnecessarily. Besides, that’s how he talks.’ thought the stallion.

“It’s alright.” said Macintosh, with an oddly emphatic stress on the vowels and slower than normal. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine…” replied Fluttershy timorously.

‘Rarintosh was incredibly nervous going into the spa. Stage fright like I’ve never seen my body before, something dreadful. There is no doubt that Big Macintosh has an opinion of Fluttershy. And look at her, she’s just as uneasy as he is.’

‘You’re right, Rarity. And it wouldn’t be entirely unnecessary interference were you to… I don’t know, help things along a little bit?’

‘That would be abuse of this stallion’s body! I can not do things like that.’

‘It’s not abuse per se… it’s just using the poise to do something that he would entirely do on his own, just after his own time. He may not be self-confident yet but I can substitute that for him.’

‘…Oh confound it. Fine, we’ll have it your way Rarity. But something subtle. In Big Mac’s nature, but not… big.’

“Sorry, I’m in thuh way.” said the stallion, sidestepping to let Fluttershy through to the spa’s entrance. Fluttershy looked up at him with a meek sort of stress, like she was trying not to redden. In her disquieted shyness she gave a weak smile, trying to remain true to her kindness in the face of a situation that she wasn’t sure if she liked.

“..Thank you, Big Mac.” said Fluttershy. Macintosh just grinned warmly. As she passed, he gave her a friendly wink. Fluttershy blushed in full, squeaked in surprise and leapt through doorway to get away from his gentle grin.

Macintosh chuckled a breath, until his thoughts caught up to him at his cleverness.

‘Well done, Rarity. That should be a point of conversation in the spa with— Me?’

‘...Uh oh.’

~◊~

Rarity lay on her towel on the verge of sleep, her eyes slowly dropping until they actually did close, which caused her to become aware and pull them open again, with a gradually decreasing interest in the physical exertion involved in keeping one’s eyes open. Fluttershy slowly opened and crept through the sauna door, and unhurriedly pushed it shut. She placed her towel as a very neat square beside Rarity, sat and took a deep breath.

“Ahhh…” she sighed peacefully.

Rarity jerked upright with a gasp and looked at Fluttershy with unease.

“Hello… Rarity...” Fluttershy respired, relaxing with her eyes shut.

“H-hi, Fluttershy.” said Rarity uneasily. Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes, and saw Rarity staring wide-eyed at her. Fluttershy amusedly blew gently at Rarity’s face. Rarity blinked hard at the hot air hitting her but she still looked back at Fluttershy fretfully again. The pegasus raised her eyebrow curiously.

“Is something wrong?”

‘Calm down Mac, calm down, you can do this. Just pretend to be the girliest little pony you’ll ever be and you’ll do just fine…’

“Nno-” The unicorn caught herself, and looked to the side. Seeing nothing but a wall, she looked back to the attendant with the sauna rocks, and back at Fluttershy. “Of course not.”

Fluttershy seemed so calmed that she didn’t really notice Rarity’s change of a typical response, and looked away with another long draw of breath.

“Sorry for being so late. Angel wanted an extra bath this morning but he wouldn’t tell me why.” Fluttershy shuddered, letting all her anxieties float away with the steam. For a moment the hot rocks made more sound than they did as they sat in silence.

“…….Really?” asked Rarity.

“If you ask me, I think he might be twitterpated. Hee hee!” Fluttershy giggled.

“Heh heh heh..” Rarity chuckled nervously.

~Ω~

Big Macintosh stood quietly and patiently in front of the spa, trying to be as innocuous as possible in front of an ostensibly unusual place for a stallion to be (let alone a large bright red one). He watched ponies go to and fro, waiting for a good time to enter into the spa so as not to intrude upon Fluttershy and Rarity. He thought he was managing well, until he felt a small tug at his front fetlock. Macintosh looked down and there stood Spike, his little claw feet pointed inwards sheepishly, and him with an uncertain look on his face. He had an adorable nervousness, if ever there was one.

“Uh… Marity?”

“Hello Spike.” said Macintosh as amiably as he could.

“I wanted to talk to you.. about..” started the little dragon, “Uh… How’s it going?”

Macintosh partially rolled his eyes.
“It certainly has been an unorthodox day. I’ll be glad when Twilight puts me back in my body proper.”

“Me too!” said Spike, picking up enthusiasm. “I- uh, well I, like… with you being a stallion…” he looked confused at himself, not sure whether to address the pony that he liked or the pony he saw.

“Yes?” encouraged Macintosh.

“It’s… uh… kinda…” began the dragon.

“Hard to put into words.” finished the stallion.

“Yeah!” said Spike happily.

Macintosh smiled and bent down to Spike’s eye-level, fluttering his eyelashes at him.
“Don’t worry, I still like you, my widdle Spikey-wikey.” said the stallion, affectionately nuzzling against Spike’s cheek.

The dragon had no idea what his emotions were doing, as if they’d been hit with a frying pan. He stared straight ahead away from Macintosh. And somehow he was certain that this was not an experience he wanted to have again.

“I…think… I should.. go.. and help Twilight set fire to her mail.” replied Spike, dazedly walking away.

“I’ll see you later, Spike!” said Macintosh, waving good-bye. Spike turned to wave back, but the stallion couldn’t read his expression. And then he ran away, hiding into an alleyway.

“The little darling…” said Macintosh, putting his hoof to his chin. The movement transitioned to him wiping his forehead. “Yeesh, I think I feel the onset of sweat.” He put his hoof in front of him and looked down at his forelegs, and his eyes drifted back to his muscular barrel. Macintosh watched as he flexed his rear leg.
‘Mac, Mac, Mac.. What am I going to do with you?...’ he thought self-enviously. Macintosh decided he had waited long enough, and walked straight into the spa, ignoring any thought of a schedule or arrangement. The attendant at the desk watched him enter.

“Hello sir.”

“Hello, yes, I’ll start with an applemint bath and I’ll need a mane brush and the largest hoof-rasp you have, and after that I’ll need one of everything.” said Macintosh, not slowing down as he went through the entrance room.

“…I- what?” said the attendant, getting up to follow.

“A total makeover, first time. Charge it to Miss Rarity’s account, she’ll stop by tomorrow about it.”

“Ah!” said the other pony, suddenly understanding. The attendant walked to the side and began getting several hygiene appliances and towels from a bank of shelves.

Macintosh continued straight into the main room of the spa, looking at himself and making a mental list of all the things to be done. He walked up the set of steps to the enormous bathtub in the middle of the room and observed its size. He leant down and let the yoke slide onto the floor.
‘You’re only going to get one chance at enjoying something like this, Rarity. Make the most of it.’

“Make the most of this, I shall.” said Macintosh aloud. And in a small jump he entered the tub with a grand splash, draining a decent portion of it. The attendant dodged to the side avoiding being caught in the wave. Macintosh could feel his muscles tingle at the first time being in a proper warm bath, and he gasped as every member of himself untensed and softened, like the flattening of gift-wrapping paper, easing out all the kinks and crinkles in his old joints. He felt like sighing with serenity, but chose not to even make a sound, letting the atmosphere soak him in all the more.

His afternoon would be one Rarity would remember for a very long time.

~♦~

Fluttershy and Rarity sat on pillowed beds, the pegasus modestly resting with the small bit of mud mask on each cheek and Rarity feeling slightly bewildered with mask all over her face. To her, the cooling feeling was respite from how drained she felt from the sauna, yet it was further relaxing to all her members. She was glad that the green cream and cucumbers on her face hid her expression, concerned still for if Fluttershy could tell how poorly she acted out Rarity’s gracefulness. One of the spa ponies came up as they lay there, and gently began filing Rarity’s horn. Her rear leg jiggled.

“Ngee hee~” she giggled.

Fluttershy looked her curiously.
“Are you alright?”

“It tickles!” said Rarity merrily.

“Tickles?” replied Fluttershy. “But you’ve had your horn buffed dozens of times.”

‘That’s right! Rarity’s elegant- relax, but remember, you’re sophisticated. Rarity’s Rarity, you’re not Big Mac.’

“Err.. It’s been a while since I last had it done.” said Rarity, slower than usual.

“It was only last week.” said Fluttershy. As the spa pony pulled the horn file away, Fluttershy watched Rarity smile and angle her horn towards the file, as if to follow it without getting up.

“…Rarity, are you sure that…? You don’t quite seem yourself somehow.”

The unicorn realized what she was doing, and sank back to her position.
“Er-Ah- Ah’ve just- I’ve been a bit more stressed-out in the last little while.” said Rarity.

“I guess you are.”

The two friends were silent in conducting themselves to the massage, although (much to Fluttershy’s surprise) Rarity had forgotten where the massage beds were. Fluttershy sprawled out onto her bed and let her wings relax lightly, and the attendant plied her hooves to Fluttershy’s sides just beside the shoulders. Rarity watched as she got on her bed, and the attendant touched the back of her neck to push her down.

“Oh, right.” said Rarity, before lying down herself. Immediately the masseuse began chopping at the unicorn’s back and she could feel tension being beaten away by the pounding sensation.

“This is such a great way to unwind.” murmured Fluttershy, as the masseuse stretched along her muscles.

“Yyyyoooouuuu ssaiiiddd iitt…” bleated Rarity through the repeated batting of her back. She smiled as a little kink disappeared, but something still didn’t feel quite right.

“Relax, Rarity.” said the masseuse. “I’ve never felt you so tensed up before.” Rarity looked back without moving, only managing to look to the side. She exhaled, trying not to feel assaulted by the pounding. As she did so, suddenly the massage felt like it went deeper and the odd feeling of the massage disappeared with comfort. A tingling wave of calm washed over her in spite of the vibration of her torso, and she could feel she was losing interest in the present because of the pleasing ablation.

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong, Rarity?” said Fluttershy, looking at her friend.

“Nope, I’m just peachy as is.” said Rarity, looking back. She suddenly dropped her head forward, fast asleep. Fluttershy’s eyes opened wider with Rarity’s unexpected reaction.
Something wasn’t quite right with Rarity, regardless of what the unicorn said, she reasoned.

A full body seaweed wrap for a mud bath was exactly twice as ridiculous as wearing a bunny costume for singing to pails of water. Or at least that’s what Rarintosh thought to herself about it. To Fluttershy, Rarity was more apprehensive than she’d ever been for a mudbath, but after she had gotten in, immediately her qualms disappeared as if she was trying it for the first time again. Fluttershy tried to ignore Rarity’s odd behavior, assuming that perhaps yesterday was particularly stressful, considering the client she was making clothing for. It also explained why she was being so quiet, compared to any other given spa day. Given that solace, it was sensible that maybe she was in the mood to do some listening instead of talking.

“…Rarity?” started Fluttershy, loosening herself in the mudbath.

“Mm?” Rarity was holding perfectly still, almost like she was trying to nap again like she did during the massage.

“There’s something personal I want to talk to you about.” Fluttershy continued, looking up and hoping she wouldn’t succumb to her own trepidation at even the mention. “It’s about a pony I.. bumped into.. before I got here.” Rarity turned towards her. “…Big Macintosh winked at me in front of the spa.”

“Who what!?!” barked Rarity, suddenly latching the edge of her bath and splashing some of the mud onto the tile floor.

“Well I was late so I ran, and I didn’t see him from around the corner and I ran into him and fell.” explained Fluttershy, trying to remain calm. Her nature carried to Rarity, and the unicorn calmed slightly as well.

“What’d he say?”

“He helped me up and I said I was sorry and went inside, but then he winked at me.” said Fluttershy, turning her head to hide in the locks of her mane.

Rarity held her quiet, trying to quickly think of what she should say.

‘I should’ve thought of that. But now.. oh, it’s too weird for me to get Fluttershy to like me as Rarity, or me to tell her to like me.’ thought Rarity. ‘I bet Rarity knows all kinds of things about ponies in relationships. She’d have something to say about this. But what would she say? Hmm… Think practical: when all else fails, keep listenin’.'

“..Did he say anything else?” said Rarity, shuffling in her bath.

“…No..” said Fluttershy, still meekly hidden in her hair.

“Did you say anything?”

“No…” She slowly turned to peek back out. “I’ve seen him around a few times before, but he always looked so… worried.”

“Oh, he’s always worried.” said Rarity a little too quickly. “I mean- He always looks like that.”

Fluttershy shrugged her shoulders as she sank a little lower into her mudbath and sighed. Slowly she turned to face Rarity, her voice the most timid yet.
“Do you think he likes me?” she asked delicately.

Rarity held still, frozen in the moment of how she might react. Her mind raced with what to say, and she turned to avoid looking directly at her friend.

“…Mmmmaybe.” said Rarity cautiously.

“What should I do?” replied Fluttershy, turning and putting her forehooves on the edge.

“Y-y-you should wait and see if he wants to say anything else.” Rarity stuttered before she perked up, turning to face Fluttershy again. “We’ll talk about it if he says something else by next week.”

“Okay, I guess that makes sense,” said Fluttershy, reflecting on the scene of Macinosh in her mind. The blue spa pony passed through the lounge with a bricklayer’s trowel and a mallet. “I just felt so rattled, it made me feel so nervous. When he spoke.. chills went down my back.”

“When he spoke?” replied the unicorn with an unusual slant in her voice.

“Yes.. hearing him was like how he looks…” Fluttershy’s voice teetered on being faint. “So solid and strong, I felt so…”

“Scared?” asked Rarity, too quiet to be heard.

“Safe.” said Fluttershy.

‘CRACK!’

“Oh my, what was that?” Fluttershy turned around and Rarity spun her look so fast the cucumber slices flew off her eyes, landing on Fluttershy’s face.

In another room, Big Macintosh lay with a towel over the back of his head, face down over two of the massage beds pushed together. His frame was draped over the makeshift configuration, still looking far more comfortable than one might think at a glance. A tan pony continued kneading his back as best he could manage, standing on a stool to reach far enough. The red stallion’s vertebrae popped again, as his brawny form bent to a better form under the skin.

“Ohhh, Macintossshh… what have you done to yourself?” he moaned contentedly.

“A deep tissue massage, sir?” said the spa pony, pushing farther to his neck.

“Oh my yes, please.” said Macintosh, closing his eyes again. “Something nasty in the neck there… Ahh… A-a-and the withers.”

‘Crickkrakk--’

“Ooh..”

Not hearing anything further, Fluttershy slowly dismissed the sound and returned to a normal position in the bath, and Rarity did as well.

“Thank you…” started Fluttershy, reaching up with her forehoof to remove the cucumber slices from her face. She stopped as she felt the mud still on her hooves, and shook her head to get them free. “Thank you for listening to me, Rarity. Usually you’re the one that’s so talkative, but I appreciate it that you’d want to listen to me.” she leaned away forlornly. “Especially when something like that comes up.”

“I’m always here for you, Fluttershy.” Rarity replied.

The pegasus looked up at the unicorn, with the peculiar affection in her response. Rarity was speechless at her own words, and stared at Fluttershy. After only a moment, another spa pony came in with a stack of towels on her head.

“We’re ready for your hoof-soaks now. Did you enjoy your bath?”

“I sure did.” said Rarity, slowly trodding out in a mellow stupor and watching the mud slide off her legs.

“It was lovely.” said Fluttershy, stepping out. She looked at Rarity as she stood motionless, with a tiny uncharacteristic smile.

“…Showers are this way Miss Rarity.” said the spa pony, pointing to a pink and white striped partition.

“Right. Of course.” replied the unicorn, following her gesture. Fluttershy slowly followed, becoming more and more puzzled at her friend’s nature.

~□~

In the beauty salon room, Fluttershy came out of the stalls of the showers wearing her simple white robe and walked towards the freshly scented hoof soak tubs on one side of the room. As she passed a set of hair stylist stools, she saw a giant red stallion covered in a blanket sitting on a chair on one side of the room, his head encased in a large gray cube-shaped brick of presumably industrial-strength facial clay. A dark gray spa attendant with a carpenter’s palette stood over the brick, monitoring two straws that protruded through the front side of the box.

“Oh my, who’s that?” asked Fluttershy, surprised by the condition.

“First time.” said the spa pony, tapping the brick with a trowel. “What a mess.” He took a thick metal chisel and the mallet, and began gently tapping a crack along the middle of the top of the brick, and then struck it hard through the widening gap, splitting the clay through and falling as two blocky chunks onto the floor. Big Macintosh’s revealed head shook some smaller flecks out of his mane as he took a reinvigorated deep breath through the nostrils.

“Ah! That’s so much better, thank you.” he said in a cordial voice. He breathed harshly before opening his eyes and looking around the room with a funny effort in blinking. He felt his chin. “Ahh, it feels like I can breathe again, in more ways than one. Oh, hello Fluttershy, I almost forgot about y- Uh…”

“…Big …Macintosh?” said Fluttershy, frozen a few paces away from her hoof bath. They looked at each other, held in amazement.

“…Ee-Yup?” replied Macintosh finally.

“…What are you doing here?” said Fluttershy, carefully backing towards her bath.

“I- er.. Ah thought Ah’d stop by and get mahself cleaned up a liddle.” said the stallion, in a most sincerely honestly southern accent.

“But why?”

“Ah wanted to try out bein’ fancy.”

Fluttershy stepped into her hoof bath and her curling her head into her long pink hair. From within her shy attempt at hiding in plain sight, she looked the stallion up and down, trying to think of a reply. Macintosh thought he heard her squeak, but it might have been just the splash of her hoofs in the water, or his imagination.

“Ah hope Ah ain’t much trouble.”

“Oh, no trouble. I just wanted to say.. well, when you winked at me, I…”

“H-hello, Big Macintosh.” interrupted a white unicorn from the side. Macintosh and Fluttershy gazed at the arrival of Rarity in her robe.

“Oh! Hello.. Miss Rarity.” replied Macintosh.

The three ponies stood there, looking at each other for an awkward moment.

“…What are you doing away from the farm?” said Rarity, breaking the moment.

“Ah wanted to see what it is like to get cleaned up fancy.” he bounced in the chair a little. “This is fun, y’all.”

Rarity stared at him, before blinking and realizing a response.
“It sure is.”

“What’s going on?” said Fluttershy, leaning away in her bath, looking estranged at them both. The whole effect of their pretending was totally ineffective on her.

“What do you mean, Fluttershy?” replied the stallion. “It’s Big Mac…intosh, at the spa.”

The pegasus gave another look up and down at Macintosh, before considering a possible test of her suspicions.
“..How’s Wynona doing? Has she recovered from that indigestion yet?”

Macintosh glanced around the room left and right, before looking back at Fluttershy.
“Uh.. she’s… fine.” he said hesitantly.

“Eeyup.” said Rarity.

“Rarity?” Fluttershy turned towards the unicorn. “How would you know anything about Applejack’s dog?”

“…An’ why’d you say what Ah say?” started Macintosh. “It’s mah job t’say eeyup!”

“Uh..” Rarity looked back and forth between Fluttershy and the stallion. “Well… I think dogs are fabulous.”

“They most certainly are not!” exclaimed Macintosh.

“Marity!” exclaimed Rarity in protest.

“‘Marity’?” said Fluttershy.

“Yes?” replied Macintosh.

“What?” said Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy-” started Rarity.

“Rarintosh!” exclaimed Macintosh.

“What’s happening?” said Fluttershy fearfully, curling up in the back edge of her bath.

“Fluttershy, I’m Rarity.” Macintosh sighed heavily, sitting up higher in his chair. He pointed to Rarity. “Big Macintosh is using my body and I am using his. We’ve been body-swapped because of some kind of spell or something, and Twilight’s working to reverse it. I’m sorry about the deception.”

“But you’re Rarity,” Fluttershy pointed to the unicorn. “And- And you’re Big Macintosh.” She continued, pointing to the stallion.

Rarity sighed and let her head hang lower, her mane almost touching the ground.
“…Wynona’s doin’fine but she ain’t runnin’ much. Think she needs a few more days bedrest.” she replied. Fluttershy stared at her.

“Is this some kind of joke?” she asked, looking back at Macintosh.

“That’s what I thought,” replied Macintosh. “Twilight will sort it out, don’t worry Fluttershy.”

“I don’t believe it,” continued Fluttershy, pointing at each of them. “But if you’re Rarity, and you’re Big Macintosh, then why would you two come here to the spa?”

“That one made me.” said Rarity in a tone similar to Applejack, poking the stallion in the rear hoof.

“You agreed to my suggestions, Rarintosh. In addition, being here is the only reason why I did your filthy farm work.”

“But why here?” said Fluttershy, standing closer, at the edge of her bath.

“Well, have you looked at this stallion?” He’s a mess.”

“So what?”

“I couldn’t possibly spend any more time than what’s absolutely necessary if I was going to be stuck using the body of a stallion, Fluttershy.” said Macintosh, in a fashionable manner. “And if that meant an uncertain amount of time, I might as well make myself comfortable while I can.”

Fluttershy turned her head towards Rarity, and then looked at her.
“And if you’re Big Macintosh.. then-”

“Marity didn’t want Rarity to skip-out on you.” said Rarity. Fluttershy looked down humbly.

“..Oh. You two didn’t have to go through all that trouble just for me.”

“But you’re my very dear friend, Fluttershy.”
“Ah didn’t want t’upset you, Fluttershy.” said the two others at the same time.

“Oh it’s fine. Thank you anyways.” said Fluttershy, smiling.

Rarity blushed a tiny bit.

“It was no trouble at all.” replied the stallion. “Even so, this stallion cleans up nicely, don’t you think?” he gestured his clean hooves and combed pasterns.

“Hee hee.. you’d look even better with one of Rarity’s suits.” Fluttershy smiled bashfully.

“Marity!” exclaimed Rarity, her face beet-red with diffidence at his boast.

“So modest, Rarintosh. I’m within my right to brag about Big Macintosh like this, wouldn’t you say?”

“Bu-but-!” stuttered the unicorn.

“But what?” asked Fluttershy.

Rarity’s expression suddenly became very flat with a flustered annoyance.
“…Ah don’t want to talk about it. Let’s go, Marity.”

“But I’m not finished my treatment.” said Macintosh, leaning up to see his friend.

“Ah’ll wait for you by the park.” said Rarity, turning to leave without an answer. She pulled off the robe and left it in a heap by the door.

“But… Alright.” said the stallion, doing nothing to stop her and watching her go.

There was a hard clack of a door beyond the edge of the salon room. Fluttershy and Macintosh waited, listening for any sort of reaction beyond what they just saw and heard, but none came. They looked back at each other.

“…What was that about?” said Fluttershy.

“I’m not sure.” said Macintosh, as the spa attendant began combing through his mane.

Fluttershy gently nudged one of the flowers floating in her hoof soak.

“…But when you think about it.. It is pretty funny though.” she replied, recalling the nature of the switch.

“Yes it is.” he replied, lying back into his chair. “It was Spike and Twilight’s idea to have us named ‘Rarintosh’ and ‘Marity’.”

“Hee hee, ‘Marity’…” repeated Fluttershy. “So does Twilight have any idea how to fix you?”

“Actually no,” replied Macintosh. “She couldn’t find any solution, so she was going to write to the Princess.”

“Could I help?” said Fluttershy.

“I’m sure you would if you could,” replied the stallion. “But Twilight said it’s because of highly advanced magic. Even she’s having a hard time solving it, and that’s saying something.”

“Oh. I hope you get better.. Marity.” said Fluttershy, stepping out of her bath and wiping her hooves on a yellow towel on the floor.

“Thank you, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy continued to leave for the salon door, but stopped short of it.
“…Marity?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you wink at me?”

“Oh, uh, that…” Macintosh looked down towards Fluttershy, his expression mixed with his thoughts.

‘I assumed that Macintosh liked Fluttershy. But dare I impose that?’

‘Of course I would say that it’s because Fluttershy and I are such good friends. She understands that, obviously.’

“...That was because we’re such good friends and because I like you, Fluttersh-” he stopped mid-sentence, hearing his stallion’s strong voice and seeing how Fluttershy was blushing again with the obdurate approach. “…Shy.” Fluttershy looked like she had something else to say, but couldn’t find the words. Staring at him with an expression that he had no idea how to interpret, she carefully walked through the door.

Macintosh sat there with an unusual series of thoughts in his head.

‘You will never think about this again, Rarity.’

Behind him, the spa attendant continued to comb the stallion’s mane, and mouthed to himself.
“Awk-ward~”

Chapter 3

3
~☆~

“Don’t worry, we’ll have this sorted out before you know it!” Twilight waved as the large red stallion and purple-maned unicorn walked away from the Library. The door slipped shut as Twilight returned to her research.

“Are you sure? We have even less to start from than the poison joke, and this is even weirder.” said Spike, pulling up another large text. “At least the poison joke was funny.”

“And this isn’t? Twilight giggled. “Rarity, switching bodies with a hunky stallion? Hee hee, Big Marity, that was a good one, Spike.”

Spike let the book flop on top of a stack of other thick books, giving a tiny frown back at Twilight.
“I don’t think it’s very funny.” he said. His mind drifted to whether or not any stallion really could (or should) be responsible for Rarity’s behalf.

Outside one of the windows of the Library, a Great and Powerfully blue unicorn climbed up the trunk of the tree.
“He he he- hergh!” Trixie slipped, interrupting her laugh. She hoisted herself up at the edge of one of the open windows, looking into Twilight’s complex mess of books. “Consulting their famous magic friend to reverse their inevitable romance? He he he, you won’t stop me so easily, Twilight Sparkle.” she said. Twilight looked up from a narrow blue text.

“Spike, can you get my big notebook? It should be on my bedroom desk.”

“Right away!” said Spike, and he skipped up the stairs.

“Just you and me, Twilight.” murmured Trixie. Amongst the still hovering books she spotted a specific text which she recognized. Her magic pulled the black, intricately engraved book to the window and she snuck it though the gap. “All too easy. ‘Incredibly Imaginative, Inconspicuous or Incongruous Incantations (and so on) by Ignatius Incognito’.” read the title. “Without this, my little magiciaAAGH!” her hoof slipped and Trixie plummeted from the window and landed into the flower box below.

“Huh?” Twilight looked up, questioning the odd sound. “Spike, was that you?”

“Who?” asked Owloysius the owl.

“Spike.” clarified Twilight.

“Who.”

“I was saying-”

“What? asked Spike.

“Who?” said the owl.

“I asked what made that noise.” said Twilight.

“…Owloysius is asking ‘who’.” said Spike impassively, descending the stairs with the notebook.

“Not ‘who’, what.”

“What?”

“Who?”

“Gah! Nevermind!” exclaimed Twilight. She returned herself to the blue book, concentrating and annoyed. Spike and Owloysius looked at each other in bemusement.

“Heh heh, good one Owloysius.”

“Hoo hoo hoo hoo…”

“He he he he,” laughed Trixie as she snuck away from the Library, clutching the book in her hooves. “Your research won’t be so easy without this, my little friend. Ehe he he he…!”

~♦~

By the time Big Macintosh and Rarity passed the edge of town towards Sweet Apple Acres, the stallion had eaten the loaf of bread, and much to his embarrassment and the unicorn’s hilarity, burped loudly twice. They walked quietly, the stallion trying to forget the moment and walking slightly slower, while a thought began to pester him.

“..Does Big Macintosh eat a lot? I mean, is it normal for you to have this kind of appetite?”

“Eyup.” replied Rarity.

“But it feels so strange…” said Macintosh.

“You’re not used t’havin a belly that big.” said Rarity, looking up at him.

“I’m not used to everything looking smaller either,” Macintosh said, looking down. He turned his head to look at the unicorn’s mane, noticing a small tangle. “Is that what my hair really looks like from the back?”

“Ah guess so?” said Rarity neutrally.

“Hmm… I’m going to have to fix that when I get back in my body.” he said.

For a while longer, they walked in silence. Their shadows continued to shorten as the sun rose, foreboding another simply sunny day in Ponyville’s valley. Macintosh looked back at Rarity and saw her shut mouth and distracted expression. He smiled.

“I know Big Macintosh may not be a talkative pony, but if you’re going to try and pass-off as a decent Rarity, you’ll need to speak up.” said Macintosh.

“Huh?”

“You’re bad at making it look like you don’t have something to say when you’re using my face.” replied Macintosh, looking loftily at his companion. Rarity frowned at his induction.

“…Ah feel short.” she sighed. “And this tail keeps boinkin’ my back legs, it’s annoyin’.” she said, giving her tail a small kick. “Why’d you grow it out so long?”

Macintosh laughed softly.
“Try walking with your legs closer together.” he said. The unicorn narrowed her stance, looking back at her tail as she did so. Her tail began swishing in a much more lady-like pattern, and she smiled. Her head suddenly snapped forwards, as if she’d seen something she wasn’t allowed. Macintosh hadn’t noticed.

“I grow my tail out so it matches my mane, and I grow my mane that way because it is how I style it, fitting with the latest fashion trends and a form that matches my personality; it’s fabulous.” said Macintosh. “Whereas this garish thing,” He looked back as he flipped his own rough-snipped tail. “I can’t imagine why you would ever want it trimmed like this.”

“It’s cut short so it don’t get caught inna harness.”

“Do you ever do anything to style yourself?”

“Comb my mane every once an’ a while so it don’t get mussy.” said Rarity.

Macintosh looked forwards again, unimpressed.
‘Just like Applejack. Anything he doesn’t absolutely need he does without.’ thought Macintosh. ‘Whatever ruffian got us in this mess must have had a keen mind for picking opposites…’

“…Do you dislike fashion?” said Macintosh, assuming some further similarity to Applejack.

“Only when it gets in the way of workin’.” said Rarity.

For a short while he continued to think as they walked in the quiet. Rarity cleared her throat and Macintosh looked.

“Ah couldn’t rightly say Ah think about spiffyin’ somethin’ for its own sake any more than Ah do about bein’ mayor or flyin’ an airship.” said Rarity, considerately. “Ah may not be a smart pony but Ah know Ah ain’t a dumb one. And if Big Mac wanted to whine about somethin’ he knew nothin’ about, they aughta put a whiner like him on a platter an’ serve ‘im with cheese.”

Macintosh chuckled, putting his hoof to his mouth.

“That was a terrible pun.”

“Eeyup.” smiled Rarity.

They passed a corner post of a fence as they rounded the corner of the farm property. All along their right side were trees, speckled with small white flowers as far as the eye could see. A small gust of wind blew past, snowing the road with tiny flower petals.

“Look at all the blossoms...” said Macintosh, gazing at the rows of the orchard.

“Taste one, see if they’re sweet.” offered Rarity. Macintosh took a broad step over the small ditch before the fence. Balancing a hoof on its top edge, he reached up and snagged a twig with a small cluster of blossoms on it. He licked at the bloom, cleaning it off the twig completely.

“Mmm, it tastes like apple-flavored honey.” smiled Macintosh. He licked at another blossom and climbed back down, smacking his lips.

“That means the bees still haven’t seen to ‘em yet. The blossoms only last a couple of weeks, then they start growin’ apples.” said Rarity.

“I never knew apple flowers tasted like that- then again, I’ve never been able to reach them before.”

Rarity looked at her foreleg.
“You’d probl’y be able t’reach one with a bit of effort an’ some exercise.”

Macintosh shot her a look.

“Did you just say Rarity should exercise more?” he accused.

Rarity sort of froze as she looked at her hoof. Slowly she put it back down and faced Macintosh like she’d heard that a thousand times before. She continued forwards with a blank expression.
“You look lovely, Miss Rarity.”

Macintosh laughed, and rejoined her.

~Ω~

The two headed through the welcoming gate of Sweet Apple Acres and approached the barn. An orange mare wearing Big Macintosh’s collar and a very irritated expression on her face trotted briskly towards them, calling out.

“There you are! Big Mac, you’re ‘sposed to be at least a quarter done the corn field by now.” said Applejack.

“I’m sorry Applejack, but something rather unusual has occurred.” replied the red stallion. Applejack stopped, hearing more than a few things from her brother that were outside his normal sayings.

“…Did you jus’ call me ‘Applejack’? You always call me ‘AJ’.”

“Yup. AJ-” started the white unicorn. Applejack eyed her.

“Okay har har, great prank Big Macintosh,” smiled Applejack sarcastically, slipping off the yoke. “You gotta get to work.” she said, picking up the yoke in her mouth.

“AJ wait-” said the unicorn as Applejack threw the yoke. It spun through the air and struck Macintosh directly in the face.

“Ow!” Macintosh swung his head at the impact, and rubbed his snout with his hoof. “Applejack, what was that for?”

“Jacqueline Apple!” yelled Rarity in a very bold tone. Applejack stared at the unicorn as if she’d blasphemed.

“Rarity, what’s goin’ on?” she said coldly.

“I’m trying to explain, Applejack-”

“I didn’t ask you Big Mac, I asked Rarity!” exclaimed Applejack angrily.

“Listen to Rarit-Marit- herp- that one!” stuttered Rarity, pointing to Macintosh.

“Why’re you actin’ like Big Macintosh!?”

“Because she IS Big Macintosh,” said Macintosh loudly. “His mind is trapped in my body and I am in his.”

Applejack stopped, looking strangely at the red stallion. She walked close and stared right into his face, analyzing what she saw to be her brother. Her eyes went wide when the stallion’s eye betrayed some generous sheen to them, which looked all too different from the family’s honest twinkle in the color.
“…Rarity?” she said, stepping back in awe. “That ain’t possible.”

“If that were true, how would I know your first Gala dress ensemble had a seed satchel and galoshes?” said Macintosh. Rarity looked at Applejack.

“Yer what now had what?” she chuckled.

“This joke ain’t funny no more.” said Applejack, thoroughly creeped-out.

“This isn’t a joke, Applejack.” said Macintosh. “Twilight’s trying to find out what’s happened and how to reverse it but in the meantime, your brother ‘Rarintosh’,” he pointed to the unicorn. “Convinced me to do the work he was supposed to do-”

Applejack interrupted, stepping close again and pointing in-between Macintosh’s eyes.

“If Rarity’s up in this noggin’ then that’s rich.” she said with a sly smile. “Rarity wouldn’t touch a plow for all the tea in Canterlot.”

“On the contrary, I agreed to do the work because your brother agreed to let me take his body to the spa.”

Applejack seemed locked with a comic disbelief. She looked at Rarity, who had an all-too-familiar flat sort of expression. Applejack almost laughed to herself at the mention of the word ‘spa’, and Rarity’s cheeks gave the vaguest pink coloration. Applejack smiled a tiny bit more, and Rarity’s face went red enough to match Macintosh’s coat. Applejack burst out laughing.

“AHAHAHA!! Oh my sides! HA! Take his body to the spa! Ha ha! Big Mac, at a dainty lil’ spa, Ha ha ha! I’m gonna crack a rib if I don’t faint laughin’ first!”

The stallion watched the orange earth pony roll around, and took up at seeing Rarity’s blushing face.

“It’s not embarrassing for a stallion to go to a spa.” said Macintosh. “It does wonders for sore muscles and softening you up after lots of stressful work as I’ve no doubt this stallion has exposed himself to. Not to mention it’s a nice way to just spend time with friends.”

Applejack’s laughing faded, looked quite serious as she stared at Rarity, then her brother. ‘Spend time with friends’ had triggered some thought, as she looked at the form of her brother and her friend beside.

“Aha ha hah heh… heh-here, now, listen Big Ma-er..”

“Marity.”

“‘Marity’. It’s fine if you really wanna relax an’ all, but are you thinkin’ about what it means fer a big old stallion like Big Macintosh,” she waved her hoof at him. “Goin’ to a spa with the likes of lil’ Miss Rarity?” Applejack said, waving her hoof at the unicorn.

“We can be innocuous enough, Applejack. You needn’t worry. Rarintosh can trust me not to make any strange faux-pas on her behalf. You should be more worried about your brother doing something odd while he’s in my body.”

The two Apples looked at Rarity, who looked back surprised.

“What’s there t’worry about? Don’t you just sit there?”

“Generally yes, but more importantly you have to relax.” said Macintosh. Applejack looked from Rarity to the stallion.

“…And you agreed to what now?”

“Till the corn field.” added Rarity.

Applejack put her hoof to her chin, thinking about the suggestion, raising her eye towards her brother, then looking at her friend’s face again.

“..Y’know Rarity-”

“Marity.” he interrupted, starting to imagine how many times he would be correcting ponies before days’ end.

“Marity, you sure you can pull a harrow? It ain’t exactly, well, lady-like...”

“I’ll do anything necessary if it means I can go to the spa.” said Macintosh confidently. “Or at least stop feeling like I rolled in something.”

“Assumin’ you can get that one to go at all.” Applejack gestured to Rarity.

“Oh, I hardly think your brother won’t want to prevent Rarity’s weekly get-together with Fluttershy.”

Applejack eyed Rarity with a peculiar suspicious expression that Macintosh had never seen before.

“Would you?” Applejack questioned. By the way the two were looking at each other, Macintosh thought some kind of Apple sibling mind-game was going on.

“…Nope.” said Rarity finally, before glancing back at Macintosh.

Applejack gave a small aside nod to talk to Macintosh out of the unicorn’s earshot.

“Just what I thought.” said Applejack, stepping a distance away.

“What?” said Macintosh, following.

“…Nothin’,” she said, her focus darting to the side momentarily. “We’ll just make it a bit more interestin’.”

“Interesting?” said Macintosh, questioning her reply. Applejack turned away from their aside, looking back to Rarity.

“I bet, you’ll never go to a spa ‘cause ye never need t’relax.” bragged Applejack. Rarity simply looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “A’course if you don’t need to relax, it means you wanna work. How’s about I take a week off for me an’ my friends?”

“Heh, no way AJ.” said Rarity in a disbelieving tone.

“If you don’t go, I take the week.” said Applejack smugly.

“And if Ah do, you gotta do all the barn chores for a week.” said Rarity in a similar tone of voice.

“Isn’t it privilege enough to be going to my special spa treatment?” interjected Macintosh. The two gave a frank look at Macintosh, before focusing back on each other.

“Two days.” said Applejack.

“Three an’ a half.” said Rarity.

“You’re on.”

They each spat on their forehoof and slapped together, binding their bet.

“Gross gross gross!” exclaimed Macintosh, as Rarity stopped and looked up at him. She shyly wiped her hoof on the grass. “Rarintosh, you are never to do that again!”

“Sorry Marity, but a bet’s a bet.” said Rarity with a shrug.

“It sure is, sugarcube.” added Applejack. She turned towards the barn. “Try an’ keep my friend’s body clean, y’hear?”

“Rarintosh won’t forget.” replied Macintosh, starting down a bothered look at his companion.

“Okay then. I’m gonna take Apple Bloom to school,” said Applejack, trotting away. “Have fun at the spa!”

Rarity’s expression immediately changed to a deflated sort of dismay.
“Uh-” she uttered.

“A bet’s a bet!” said Applejack with a smile, as she went inside.

Macintosh looked at Rarity. She was blushing again.

“That was remarkably clever of her. Does she do that often?”

Rarity avoided looking up, standing with a rather mixed annoyance. Her mouth opened to speak but she said nothing. The instant growing just short of awkward, her head nodded towards the wooden harness still lying on the grass.

“You gonna put that on?” she said timidly.

“Oh.” said Macintosh, remembering. “Yes. Right..” he picked up the yoke, holding the grainy wooden form in front of him for a moment. It was worn smooth with a texture like drift wood, polished by an amalgam of sun exposure, sweat and sand over the course of years, washed every day by a dip in the river.
‘You’re committed now, Rarity. Time to get dirty..’ he thought, and slipped it over his head. It easily slid down past his head and onto the base of his neck. He stood there for a moment, staring at it. Rarity wordlessly began walking towards the far corner of the barn. Macintosh suddenly smiled.

“I can see why you grew so accustomed to it.” he said, starting after her. He looked down at what he could see of the edge of the yoke against his chest. “It’s a perfect accessory to compliment the rest of your appearance. The colour of the wood suits the skin, and these steel balls down at the bottom could-”

“You’re wearin’ it upside down.” said Rarity, trying not to smirk. Macintosh suddenly realized what it felt like to blush as a stallion.

The stallion straightened the yoke out as the unicorn led them both behind the barn to a tall and squarish shed with a sliding door. Rarity slid the door open, showing several pieces of farm equipment, the only one of which Macintosh recognized was a large bladed plow. Hanging beside was a large iron grid with numerous beveled wheels leaning against the wall. Rarity pulled a small rope and the wheeled device fell onto the grass with a loud metallic thud and clatter.

“Aah!” exclaimed Macintosh, stepping back from the strangely shaped device. “It looks like part of a fence with sawblades attached. How can this possibly help you farm.. What was it again?”

“Corn.” said Rarity, unhooking a chain attached to one end. “This here’s the harrow. Tie it on an’ follow me.”

Rarity led them both to a wide brown field, flat with nothing sprouting out of it and a hedge growing on the farthest edge. Macintosh stood at the edge looking out at the expanse, and looked back as Rarity unlatched part of the harrow. The whole of the device was supported on the rounded metal wheels that sank into the soft earth of the grass.
Rarity pointed with her hoof towards a thin tree that stuck straight up from behind the edge.

“Try to keep in a straight line. Give ‘er.”

Big Macintosh looked back at the harrow again, and the vast tract of dirt that lay before him. He grit his teeth.

‘You can do this, Rarity. This stallion’s done this dozens of times before. And anyways: the spa afterwards. All right, get on with it.’ Macintosh pushed hard into the yoke. As soon as the metal rollers of the harrow dug into the soil, he stopped solid. Macintosh frowned and shoved the yoke again, budging forward. He could easily feel how his strength affected the situation, with the groan of the wooden parts of the harrow and the tightening jangle of chains, but the harrow was almost as immobilizing as a giant rock. Macintosh grunted as he tugged at his harness.

The sun beat down on the stallion and the wooden yoke repeatedly buffeted his chest, but Macintosh continued, almost baffled at the sensation of what felt like literally pulling a ton or more, but the strength to jostle it easily. Slowly but surely he shoved and lurched across the first row of the field, losing breath. About half way down its length, he stopped.

“Huh!” panted Macintosh. “I thought you said this was easy!”

“You’ll learn how Ah learned.” said Rarity simply.

“But this great lummox has already been doing this for years!” complained Macintosh, pointing at himself. Rarity looked at him expectantly. He growled and continued with his aggressive shoving and shunting the harrow the entire length of the field once. The harrowed paths cut into the field were jagged and rough but relatively straight. Rarity walked along the length right beside him the whole time, staying on the grassy edge.
Macintosh felt a reverberating echo of the pounding from the yoke against his front. His exasperated heavy breathing and the sensation in his chest made a tiny trickle of sweat that crawled onto his nose catch him entirely off guard, and he snorted loudly, jerking his head.

“Huh, huh… I can’t stand this..” said Macintosh in a gasp. “I’m already sweating in this heat, and exhausted.. but… I’ve only done one pass! Don’t… don’t you have any advice, or, some way you can help?”

“Only if you ask for help.” said Rarity. Macintosh rolled his eyes.

“Could you please give me some advice, Rarintosh?”

“Pull it around and line it up for another pass.”

Macintosh pulled at the side of the harrow and it tilted, resting itself on wheels mounted to the side which pivoted the whole device easily.

“Now lean forward.”

“I can’t, it’s already taught.” said Macintosh, looking at the chains that bound the harrow to the harness.

“Then take two steps back, an’ lean forward.”

“I’ll fall flat on my face!” protested Macintosh. The unicorn gave her a very flat expression as if that wasn’t a very good excuse. Macintosh sighed, and took two strides backwards, letting the lines go slack. He shifted, leaned forwards and immediately his forehooves slipped and he fell, plopping face-first into the loam. A muffled scream came from the ground.

“Gah!” shouted Macintosh, frantically standing up again and wiping dirt off his face. “Disgusting! There, what did I tell you!”

“Ah told you two steps, not four. You took two full strides.” said Rarity, her expression unchanged. Macintosh snorted in frustration, staring at Rarity. A clump of soil mixed with perspiration rolled off his nose. In spite of himself, Macintosh followed as Rarity said, taking two steps forward. The yoke rested neither taught nor loose on his neck, and he suddenly didn’t quite feel like the harrow gave as much pressure anymore. He cautiously leaned forwards, and he immediately could feel almost all of his weight transferring into the yoke, like the pushing of a lever, tightening the harness with ease. Just before he felt like he would fall again, he took a step and the harrow glided after. Slowly Macintosh got into a regular pace that was a little slower than a normal walk and with his weight placed far more forwards that he was used to. Macintosh continued on the row in less than a quarter of the time of the first row, and Rarity walked alongside.

“Oh, this is so much better! Why didn’t you say earlier?” said the stallion. To the stallion, tilling didn’t seem so much like pulling something as he previously thought, as much as constantly walking to catch himself from falling forwards.

“You didn’t ask.” said Rarity.

Macintosh finished the second length and started on her third. Rarity continued to follow, walking along the edge of the field.

“If this is what you do with most of your time,” said Macintosh as he came to the end of the length, “You must get a lot of thinking done.”

“Eeyup.”

“Is that why you don’t talk much?” Macintosh waited for an answer as he pivoted round, but Rarity said nothing.

“Or is it because ponies usually figure out what you mean anyways?” he said, taking a step into the field. He stopped and looked back, and Rarity smiled at him. Macintosh paused, and then realized what he had just said. Macintosh smiled, and continued tilling.

‘If a pony must decide between talking and thinking, then that certainly explains why Big Macintosh is the way he is. His work may be dirty and boring, but at least it means he doesn’t waste his time with idle chatter.’ thought Macintosh. He looked at Rarity as she kept pace.

“Eyes forward! Keep straight.” said Rarity, over the distance of the already tilled rows.

‘You mean like how you waste your time with idle chatter?’

‘Oh quiet, Rarity. So what if Macintosh is a patient listener? That’s not even the most important thing for a- no, I’m not going to even think it. Besides, he doesn’t even like anything fashionable, so he’s not even worth considering in that regard.’

‘Get a hold of yourself, mare! You’re thinking that from the brain inside the beefcake that a tailor would kill somepony over just to put socks on his- my… these legs.’

‘He said himself that what a pony looks like isn’t as important as what a pony is like beneath their appearances.’

‘…True.’

‘Beauty isn’t skin deep, and to that end, mmmaybe we aren’t so different…’

‘Stuff and nonsense.’ thought Macintosh so strongly that he almost said it aloud. ‘If it weren’t for this ridiculous whatever, you’d be nowhere near this farm.’ The series of thoughts ebbed, but the notion began to haunt the stallion. ‘Maybe we aren’t so different.’

“Whew, You were right. This is pretty easy.” said Macintosh, finishing the row. Rarity complimented through a warm smile.

“Do you think Rarity could do this?” said Macintosh, lining up again.

“Nope.” said Rarity politely. “Unless she weighs a lot, or strong enough to make up for it.”

“Does Applejack?”

Rarity shook her head ‘no’.

“Really?” asked Macintosh, stopping. “Why not?”

“She never learned how.” Rarity pointed to the first tilled row, already a fair distance to the farthest boundary of the field. “A long time ago, she gave up on the first row. Ain’t possible t’pull off if you don’t know how. Let alone bein’ little like she used t’be.”

“But Applejack- Giving up?” Macintosh was surprised. “She’s more tenacious and stubborn than anypony I know. What would possess her to give up?”

“She never asked for help.”

The stallion stood, struck by the realization of Applejack. It made sense to for something to happen and for her brother to know about, but it still seemed so far gone how much Applejack had changed ever since she and Rarity had become friends. Macintosh opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of anything to say. He started on the row, and they met up again as he finished it, Macintosh again walking through the field and Rarity around it.

“Thank you for staying off the dirt.” said Macintosh. “It makes things simple when you don’t have it stuck under your hooves, it can be tricky to clean before a pony pedi.”

“Keepin’ clean ain’t got nothin’ t’do with it.” replied Rarity. Macintosh raised an eyebrow. “The soil’s too soft for a little pony like this t’walk in. For me it’d be like snow and Ah’d be knee deep in a single step.”

“Oh… Thank you anyways, Rarintosh.”

“D’you mind if Ah just sit under the tree, here?” said Rarity, walking closer to a smallish apple tree. “It’s a mite hot for me, an Ah don’t think Rarity gets out in the sun as much as Mac.”

“Oh goodness yes!” said Macintosh, suddenly realizing. “Stay in the shade, you might get sunburn.”

“Eeyup.”

Rarity sat down by the tree and began chewing some of the clover growing nearby, as Macintosh went down for nearing the last row.

‘Rarity may style her mane and design dresses, that’s a conscious art.’ thought Macintosh. More and more often as he walked, he looked down at his own legs, watching the muscles of his front legs flex and squeeze under the skin, coursing the surface of his crimson form. '…But how fair is it when a pony just being themselves grows up as well-built and good looking as this?’

‘Not so different..’ taunted the memory again.

He turned for the second-last row, and the vantage for walking straight was the tree on the other side where Rarity sat. As he approached, he noticed that she was examining her front hoof extended outwards, her look following up the contours of her elegant physique. Macintosh grinned with a knowing look.

“You know,” he started, loud enough to be heard across the still-to-be-covered distance. “I really don’t mind.”

Rarity’s gaze snapped back up to Macintosh, the hoof put back to an idle position.
“Huh?”

“You keep looking at Rarity’s body. I don’t mind.” Rarity looked bashful as Macintosh continued.
“I like attention. That is why I beautify myself.”

‘Well… It ain’t exactly like Miss Rarity’s gettin’ mean at me lookin’ reasoned Rarity. ‘…She’s kind… and pretty-’
“It’s rude to stare.” Rarity said aloud, too quiet for Macintosh to hear.

Soon enough Macintosh finished the last row and the two ponies looked over the achievement of the stallion’s mid-morning toil. The entire surface of the field which was once smooth a plain, had been interrupted into rough rolling troughs that ran from one end to the other. Macintosh smiled at her work.

“Splendid! One corn field tilled, and now-”

“We go to Willow Wood Hollow.”

“Yes, off to the spa-wha?”

“You got some rocks that need tendin’.” said Rarity, already leading away from the field.

“Oh no-no-no-no,” replied Macintosh, through a clever smile. “You said I only had to till this field. You didn’t say anything about doing any other chores before the spa.”

Rarity looked at him through an expression that looked like she’d heard that sort of excuse a million times before. She looked up at the sun, then back at Macintosh. If her face was any indication, it looked like the expression might be the sort that an older brother would use to convey a condescending sort of wisdom.

“…So d’you want me to do ‘em then?”

Macintosh wasn’t so quick to nod ‘yes’ before he again realized the threat it posed for Rarity’s hair and condition.
“..GRRR!” snarled Macintosh, stamping the ground. “How many chores are there still left to do?” Macintosh leaned as if to dramatically faint, and the yoke arms poked his flank. He stood upright and tried to swing his leg at the tiller’s fastener. “Am I to be shackled with this forever?!” he said, yanking on a chain.

Rarity thought for a moment.
“One more.” And she went on up the hill towards the barn.

Macintosh sighed, and followed after.

~♦~

After the harrow was put away, Rarity led Macintosh down a steep path through a thick part of the orchard where trees clustered closer together. The unkempt wood mixed together with other varieties of foliage and denser underbrush. Eventually the greenery pushed inwards as they walked, until they were on a narrow path in a dense forest, with a floor of decaying leaves and budding dandelions. The path turned and opened out revealing a large pond, entirely surrounded by willow trees. Wind filtered gently through the soft dangling extremities of the willows, coming to rest on the numerous water chestnuts and small pinkish flowers that floated on the surface of the pond. A craggily oak tree, and the occasional chandelier of cherry tree branches were among the only intrusions into the dome of the pond’s illustrious canopy. There was a small metal gate at the far end of the pond, black by metal and enveloped by ivy. Rarity stopped and let Macintosh wander past in wide-eyed wonder.

“Oh…my…” he sighed. “This is absolutely marvellous! What is this place?”

“Ponyville Mill Pond.” said Rarity. She pointed to the gate at the far end. “That sluice over there leads to the ol’ watermill in town.”

“Is this still on Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Nope. This fence is where our land ends and town property begins.” The unicorn indicated a worn wooden fence, rustically decaying rapidly by overgrowth. A sunflower made itself out to be a tree growing from one of the fence posts. “We maintain the pond anyways though.”

Macintosh continued to slowly pace around the open green space before the water’s edge.
“What sort of farm chore needs doing here?”

“AJ manages the farm jus’ fine, we’re here to work on a lil’ project of mine. C’mon.”

She walked closer to the shore of the pond. The water was clear but the basin was dark, and seemed to go deep quickly. Resting on the shore was a porcelain gnomy with a pointy red hat, resting sideways. Rarity gently pushed the garden figurine aside and pulled a string tied to a ring that was hidden underneath. The yank on the string led into the water, and few bubbles came from the pond. An orange ball popped up to the surface.

“Yer gonna kick all the rocks out of the water near there, ‘til it’s smooth.”

“What useful purpose would be served in doing that?” said Macintosh, looking at the out-of-place flotation device in the tranquil space. He watched Rarity walk to the oak tree, and the unicorn pulled out from under a root a coil of rope with a thick knot in one end.

“Ah’ve been makin’ a rope-swing for Apple Bloom an’ her friends for her birthday. Me an’ AJ swam here when we were jus’ little. Ah had t’convince her friends to keep her away from here until Ah could get it all set up. But Ah didn’t want her to find anything by accident, so Ah hid it all.”

Macintosh walked closer, looking at the rope, then up at the oak tree. Its winding stiff branches looked like the ideal thing for a rope-swing. Although, he thought, such a stallion as Big Macintosh would be a fascinating sight to see for climbing a tree.

“That sounds like a lovely gift.” he smiled, looking up at the grand old tree.

“Ah’ve seen how she loves to play with her friends. But getting’ them alone and convincin’ ‘em to tell a lie to Apple Bloom was…” Rarity looked in a different direction with a thoroughly perplexed expression. “..A mite more confusin’ than Ah thought it’d be.” She finished with an odd emphasis.

“What did you tell them?” asked Macintosh.

“That Ah was sowin’ the water with cayenne pepper t’get rid of bugs, so it wasn’t clean t’swim in.”

“Cayenne pepper?”

“Sucker flies hate hot peppers.” shrugged the unicorn. “You gonna get them rocks then?”

“This water looks cold.” said the stallion, approaching the shore. He dipped his hoof in, and immediately tore it back. “Eek! It is cold.”

“The sooner you get the rocks out, the sooner we go t’the spa.”

“I know, I know..” said the stallion. He inhaled sharply as he took a full step in. “I’m just acclimatizing myself.”

Slowly the stallion eased himself deeper into the water. By the point of the orange ball, he could feel the bottom was partly muddy but not without several head-sized stones partly sunk in. The depth was up to his chin. He pushed a rock with his forehoof and it rolled out of the way slowly, making a thin plume of gray rise to the surface. Macintosh ignored the silt that might contact his coat, and focused on the unconventional slow-motion game of hoofball he was playing underwater. Eventually he rolled two rocks to the shore, and trod back. As he fiddled with his hooves under the water again, he gazed up at the canopy over them. From the different angle than the shore he could see a small shack, large enough to maybe house a few tools or somesuch. It was covered with ivy and the crawling clutches of blackberry vines. He looked back at Rarity, patiently sitting on the shore in the shade, aside from the dotted lighting of the sun coming through the overhead tree branches.

“This really is quite beautiful.” said Macintosh, finally wresting a rock out of a particularly stubborn spot. “It’s a very nice thing you’re- or, I’m doing, for Apple Bloom. Although inevitably that means Sweetie Belle will want to join in, which will mean washing her hair more often. Oh well. Sisters.” He gave a kick, flinging the rock out of the water.

“Sisters.” agreed Rarity. Macintosh turned back into the pond as the unicorn thought with a hoof to her chin. “Don’t mares like cleanin’ their hair though?”

“Not exactly.” said Macintosh, looking down to the water. “Fashion is my greatest aspiration, and that includes proper care of one’s mane. I suppose in some way would could call it a hobby of sorts, if that’s what you mean.” He smiled, successfully prying another rock. “At least it’s not like their irritating ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders Make-A-Mess-Time Yaaay!’ Bleh.”

Rarity chuckled.

“Don’t they make messes with the things you do, or get in the way?”

The unicorn looked at the stallion indifferently, considering.
“Mah work is bit harder to mess-up than.. Rarity’s a tailor- er, seamstress, right?”

“Fashion designer.”

“Yeah, well, example: Makin’ a wrong cut on fabric versus makin’ a wrong cut on a slab of timber.” Rarity gestured one and the other with her hooves. “Little fillies might try to “help” with scissors, but not a table saw.”

“You work with a table saw?”

“Jus’ another tool. If anythin’ Ah’m more like a gardener than Ah am a carpenter. Anyways, Apple Bloom spends more time with AJ than she does me. Ah’m usually up here alone unless Granny’s up t’somethin’.”

“Don’t you have any hobbies?” asked Macintosh.

“Ah used to-” Rarity stopped, doing a tell-tale errant distracted look. “Ah… like t’read here an’ there.”

“Used to what?” said Macintosh, giving her a savvy look. “You’re doing that thing with your face again like you’re hiding something.” He gave a very handsome grin, one which Rarintosh didn’t even know Big Macintosh had.

“…You’re cruel. Yer charms still shine through that thick skin a’mine.” said the unicorn shyly.

“Well?”

“Ah…” her voice quickly faded in conviction, softening and becoming quiet, even against the gentle trickle of the sluice gate. “Ah…sorta ha- wanted, to keep bonsais a while back.” To Marity, Rarity sounded a lot like Fluttershy.

“Bonasis?” replied Big Macintosh, intrigued. “You mean those artsy miniature trees?”

“Yeah Ah kinda thought they were dumb too.” replied Rarity, resigning her focus.

“Bonsais are not dumb!” said Macintosh immediately. Rarity looked up at her. “I think they’re fabulous! Such a cute little version of gardening.”

“But Ah thought.. ye’know, ‘cause you said ‘artsy’.”

“Artsy is a description,” stated Macintosh , looking back into the water for his rocks. “It’s not a negative thing.”

Rarity scratched her head as she pondered, and then continued.
“Ah’ve been lookin’ into ‘em. Catalogues an’ books an’ stuff but Ah.. Uh… haven’t gone buyin’ one. Ah kinda worried Ah might… ruin it or somethin’.” said Rarity quietly again. “‘Cause ye’know, Big Mac is big an’ all.” she added.

Macintosh looked at Rarity with an expression that was part disbelieving and part underwhelmed.
“Big Mac’s apple trees are bigger than he is, and he’s head-and-shoulders taller than anypony else in Ponyville. Despite that, he keeps a whole orchard of them in better health than the doctor can keep the town. What could possibly make you think you couldn’t take care of a single tiny tree?” said Macintosh, matter-of-factly.

Rarity looked partly disheartened, as if she had half a mind to shrink away.

“…Nothing…” replied the unicorn. “Just haven’t gotten around to buyin’ one… Is all.” she finished.

Up and beyond them from the roof of the small tool shed beside the water overlooked a Great and Powerfully blue unicorn, spying on the red submerged stallion and the white unicorn.

“Heh heh heh…” she giggled to herself. “Alone in a beautiful spot away from everypony else… Just like some cliché romance novella. No doubt they’ll be fully in love soon enough.”