“Starlight Glimmer, will you marry me?” asked Sunburst. I gasped, tears coming to my eyes. I’d been imagining this moment time and time again for years, and it was exactly as I’d always imagined it would be. We stood in the middle of the street in Manehattan. All of the traffic had stopped, and everypony in the bustling city was watching as Sunburst knelt down and opened a small, ornate box. It was nighttime, so the lights from the nearby skyscrapers reflected off of the diamond ring within, making it appear as if the huge gem was glowing.
The onlookers all inhaled sharply, waiting with bated breath for my answer. I looked up into the night sky thoughtfully, pretending to think about it. After a moment, I looked back to Sunburst and smiled.
“I think that sounds alright,” I said teasingly. Everypony in the surrounding taxis and on the sidewalks whistled and applauded. Meanwhile, Sunburst lifted the ring and placed it on my horn. If I’d been a pegasus or an earth pony, it would have been a bracelet, but since I was a unicorn, it was tradition that I get a ring. After it was securely in place, he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.
“Aww,” the crowd said, practically in perfect unison with each other.
We kissed on and on, but just as it was starting to get steamy, he suddenly pulled away.
“Starlight,” he called, although it sounded strangely quiet. I didn’t mind. I leaned in so that our horns were touching.
“Yes?” I answered. He acted as if he didn’t hear me at all.
“Starlight!” he said again, sounding a bit louder, but still strange. I took a step back, confused. The noises of the crowd were starting to fade, and everything was beginning to look fuzzy.
“Starlight, wake up!” It was Sunburst’s voice, but his blurry figure wasn’t the one saying it.
My eyes snapped open. I was in the library inside of Twilight’s castle. I was currently sitting in an armchair in the corner of the vast space next to a table covered in books. My head rested on an open book that I’d been reading the night before, and I noticed that the page my head had been leaning on was covered in drool. Great.
A few feet away from me, near the door leading to the rest of the palace, Sunburst stood looking at me. He looked particularly happy, and I immediately wiped my mouth inconspicuously to get rid of any remaining drool. With my other hoof, I patted my hair, trying to make it look presentable. It was a lost cause. I could feel all of the stray hairs sticking out in strange directions. Oh well. At least Sunburst didn’t seem to have noticed. I tried to mirror his smile, but I knew it came out lopsided due to my groggy mind.
“Hey Starlight! Wow, it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you!” Really? I was just with you a few seconds ago. I laughed awkwardly.
“I know, right? When did you come into town?” I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“For the end of year dance last night. Rarity asked me to chaperone, remember?” I squeezed my eyes shut. I’d totally forgotten about the dance.
“Right!” I said, nodding my head. He looked at me expectantly.
“Where were you?” I thought fast, trying to come up with a better excuse than ‘I forgot’. I waved my hoof, wiping away his question.
“Oh, you know. I was just doing some super important friendship research stuff,” I lied. ‘Super important friendship research stuff?’ Really, Starlight? I mentally kicked myself. Sunburst nodded his head. He was staring off into space, and it seemed like he hardly cared about what I was saying. I cleared my throat in annoyance, standing up from my chair and walking towards him.
“So, why are you here exactly?”
“Like I said, I came for the d–”
“No,” I interrupted. “Not ‘why are you here’ as in Ponyville. Why are you here? In the library?” Normally he might’ve gotten a bit irritated with himself for missing out on such an obvious context clue, but today, he apparently couldn’t care less. He just laughed it off.
“I wanted to talk to you, and Twilight said that you’d be here.” Why in Equestria would Twilight do that? Couldn’t she have come and gotten me instead?
“Oh, okay. What did you want to talk about?” I asked. Sunburst looked at the floor, blushing. I was immediately surprised. I’d never seen Sunburst blush about anything besides his favorite books or magical theories. His next words were rushed, like he was nervous or embarrassed by them.
“I know we don’t talk as much anymore, but you’re the best friend I have here in Ponyville and I just have to talk about it with somepony,” he said, pushing up his glasses at the end. I widened my eyes and lowered my head a bit, waiting for him to get to the point.
“Yes?” I encouraged. He took a deep breath.
“I met somepony on the train to Ponyville.” A thousand alarms went off in my head. I bit my lip hard and tilted my head to the side a bit. What?!
“What kind of pony?” I asked, trying to keep my face neutral. He smiled, looking off into the distance again.
“Her name is Coco Pommel. She’s a seamstress and designer from Manehattan. Our train got delayed, and we ended up stuck in Canterlot for a while. While we were there, we ended up going to see a play in Old Ponish, and then we went to the Biltmare, and–” He cut himself off, staring into nowhere like he could barely believe it. “It was so amazing, Starlight. I’ve never felt this way before! She’s so beautiful and she does this thing with her hair when she’s feeling shy; it’s adorable.” My eyes practically popped out of my head, my smile manic.
“Oh, that’s so great! It must have been so terrible when you guys had to part ways and never see each other again,” I said, trying my best to make my face look sad for him. His smile only grew wider.
“Actually, she was coming to Ponyville to bring a bunch of clothes to the dance. We ended up going to it together, and we were dancing practically all through the night,” he said. I knew my left eye was twitching, but I couldn’t bring myself to make it stop.
“Wow! Good for you! Sounds like you had a really great night that I wasn’t present for! I bet in ten years or so, she’ll tell her kids in Manehattan about that one time that she danced with some stallion who’s name she doesn’t remember.” He kicked at the floor with his hoof for a minute before looking me in the eyes, a spark of hope in his.
“I was thinking about that last night. About how this is all great for now, but with she and I living so far apart, everything will just be a happy memory soon.” Yes! That’s right! It’s just a memory! “So, Coco and I talked about it last night, and… I’m moving to Manehattan!” he announced, throwing his front hooves up gleefully. My eyebrows rose up so high that they were practically touching the ceiling.
“Oh my gosh! What about everything you’ve dedicated years of your life to in the Crystal Empire? You know, all of the reasons why you never moved to Ponyville no matter how many times I asked you to?” He looked thoughtful.
“Well, I realized that some things in life are more important than my career. I’ve always wanted a wife and a family, and… I don’t know if I’m ever going to find somepony else like Coco,” he announced. I started laughing hysterically. My eyes were tearing up from so many horrified chuckles. When Sunburst started to look concerned, I scrunched up my face to prevent it from spasming for long enough to utter a coherent sentence.
“You know what? I just remembered that I have this thing that I need to go do right now, so I’m gonna leave. I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to you soon! This has been such a fantastic conversation, but um… Bye!”
I ran from the room before he had the chance to respond.
I stood outside Trixie’s caravan alone, pacing back and forth with a book in my hoof. I was barely able to read in my mess of a state, but I forced myself to do it anyway. It didn’t exactly help that I had to be very careful to avoid any dangerous creatures since, for some unfathomable reason, Trixie had decided to park her caravan in the middle of Ghastly Gorge. Still, even in its peculiar placement, Trixie’s caravan was easily the place I felt most comfortable, which helped me ever so slightly to focus on the important task at hand.
A while ago, Twilight and her friends had published their friendship journal, and I’d kept my copy in the back of a bookshelf in my room. I’d only read through it once, and I hadn’t expected I’d ever read through it again. Sure, it had some good friendship lessons, yata yata yata, but it was far too sappy for my tastes. No, I would never read this for entertainment, but you know what I would read it for? Information. Specifically, as many details as I could possibly get about this ‘Coco Foul-Smell’ pony, or whatever her name was. Rarity’s entry was so dramatic that it took many paragraphs of reading just to get a drop of quality information, but I managed to get through it.
Just as I finished reading through the entry for the third time, I heard hoofsteps coming towards me from the other side of the large ravine. I squinted my eyes to see that it was Trixie, walking lazily towards her caravan without a care in the world. Good. She was finally back. I needed her opinion on this.
It seemed to take her forever to cross the relatively short distance, but eventually she came close enough that I was fairly sure she’d seen me even though she hadn’t acknowledged me yet. Suddenly, I heard and felt something moving within the side of the ravine, and I immediately knew what it was. Oh no.
“Trixie! Run!” I yelled. She waved at me jovially, but made no effort to move faster. I could feel the creature moving faster, right toward her. I ran towards her as fast as I could, stopping at the hole in the wall nearest to her. Barely a half-second later, a huge quarray eel came slamming it’s head out, opening its mouth to reveal it’s frighteningly sharp teeth. I leaned my head back and then jolted it forward, using a powerful spell I’d learned from Twilight to send a beam of fire towards the terrifying creature. At first, it hardly seemed like the beast noticed at all, but a second later, it started to blacken the creature’s bright red coat, and it winced in pain, finally retreating back into the rocky wall.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins, making my breaths ragged. I turned towards Trixie, trying to get my breathing under control. She waved at me again casually.
“Hey Starlight!” she said, smiling at me. I gaped at her.
“Why didn’t you run?” I asked incredulously. She rolled her eyes as if it was a ridiculous notion.
“Why would I run when letting you save me is so much more efficient?” she asked. She stuck her hoof into a small bag she’d been carrying and scooped up a hoof full of small brown things, popping them into her mouth and crunching them loudly. I glared at her.
“Cinnamon nuts? You left your caravan in the middle of Ghastly Gorge so you could go get some cinnamon nuts?” She held up a hoof to indicate that it would be a moment before she could respond, and I took the opportunity to seal that particular hole in the wall to ensure that we wouldn’t have any more monsters butting into our conversation. Trixie swallowed.
“In my defense, they’re actually cardamom nuts. I told Bulk Biceps that he should find some way to spice up his stand, and he took my advice. I tried them yesterday, and I just had to get some more.” My eyes were so hard as I glared at her that she put a hoof up to her head in mock surrender. “Hey! The Great and Powerful Trixie needs her fuel before her performance,” she said as she popped some more cinnam… cardamom nuts into her mouth. I rolled my eyes.
“You know what? Whatever. I need your help,” I said. She raised an eyebrow.
“I know it’s hard to remember, seeing as I have basically an entire career dedicated to it, but I can’t do real magic, so I can’t help with your princess-assigned homework,” she said. I pursed my lips in annoyance.
“No, it’s not about that. It’s about Sunburst,” I confessed, my heart drooping. Trixie looked at the ground, a light blush going to her cheeks, though I wasn’t sure why.
“Oh,” was all she said. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she sighed irritatedly. “What happened?” she asked, sounding a bit defeated. I opened my mouth, and then suddenly felt the need to pace.
“Can we walk while we talk?” I suggested. She nodded, and we began walking towards her caravan. I let all of my worries flow out, knowing that even though Trixie might make fun of me, she wouldn’t really judge me for how I felt. She was better than that, whether she presented herself that way or not.
When I finally finished explaining my situation, I found that talking it out had only made me more panicked, the opposite effect of what I’d been going for.
“I just don’t know what I did wrong! You know what? I bet he just likes her because she’s more famous than me. She’s some big shot designer living in Manehattan, and I’m just a glorified librarian from Ponyville,” I said. Yes, that had to be it. Trixie seemed to grow more irritated.
“Starlight, you literally have a stained glass window in the Canterlot Castle,” Trixie said. I gasped, finally figuring it out.
“You’re right! He secretly wants to be with me, but he’s worried that my fame and success are going to my head, and it’s safer for him to end up with some nopony assistant from a big city,” I said. I felt like I was really starting to get to the core of the issue. Trixie sucked her teeth.
“Starlight, you’re constantly talking about how terrible you used to be, and how you’re striving to be better. My old box-of-death routine was more believable than you being arrogant,” she said, her face starting to heat up from frustration. It made me feel better that she sympathized with me, although I wasn’t exactly sure why she would be upset with Sunburst. Anyway, Trixie made a good point. Maybe it didn’t matter what I did. What if… I moaned, letting out a single sob and letting my head droop.
“What if she’s just way prettier than me?” I said, feeling utterly put out at the idea. I’d spent so many years honing my mind and magic, but maybe I should’ve spent some of that time trying to look more like other mares. Maybe if I’d– I was cut off by a smack across my face. I looked at Trixie, my eyes wide, far too stunned to speak. She looked beyond annoyed.
“Starlight, snap out of it! You are the most talented, humble, gorgeous pony I’ve ever met and ever will meet, so suck it up and get over it! You and Sunburst grew apart overtime! That’s all there is to it! How can you not see what’s right in front of your face?” she yelled. Suddenly, it all made sense. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I smiled ever so slightly, giving Trixie a hug. I felt the tension ease out of her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled reluctantly. I stepped back and shook my head, dismissing her apology.
“You don’t need to be sorry; you’re right. I’ve been looking at this all wrong. Sunburst and I not being together has nothing whatsoever to do with me.” Trixie nodded, looking relieved, but surprised. “It’s only because he left for magic school when we were kids! If he hadn’t, we would still be together now. In fact, we’d probably be married by now!” I exclaimed. Trixie cringed.
“That’s not what I was–”
“I don’t know why I never thought about it before!” I said, feeling as if a weight had been lifted. She looked at me wearily.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Remember when I altered Starswirl the Bearded’s time travel spell and used my alterations to go back to the past and change things?” I asked. Trixie stopped in her tracks.
“Oh no. Starlight, that is a terrible idea, even for you!” she said, her face shocked. I held up a hoof to shush her.
“Just hear me out! It wouldn’t be anything like the first time.” Trixie raised an eyebrow skeptically.
“Oh really? What would be so different?” I rolled my eyes, trying to hide the fact that I needed a moment to think of an answer.
“Well, the last time I did the spell, I used it to take revenge on somepony. It was to break apart a group of friends. This time, it would prevent me from ever becoming evil and enslaving that town of ponies, and it would be to keep two friends together. Really, I should’ve thought of it a long time ago,” I explained. Trixie groaned loudly. She seemed to be taking this very seriously, which surprised me. She very rarely took our conversations seriously, so what was different about this?
“Haven’t you learned anything? It wouldn’t just affect you! You–and Sunburst–have made impacts on other ponies’ lives! If you had never been evil, you never would’ve gotten to know–” she cut herself off, hesitating. “Twilight,” she finished quietly a moment later. I cringed. She was right. What if I’d never become Twilight’s pupil? I’d really enjoyed being her student and learning about friendship. But then again, if Sunburst had never left for magic school, maybe I wouldn’t have needed the training in the first place. The real question was, how would I adapt the spell? I began thinking through the technical details, like what year and moment I’d need to go back to, exactly what I would change, how I would deal with my memories...
Trixie could clearly see the cogs turning in my mind, and she grabbed me by the shoulder. I looked into her eyes, finding myself unable to look away from the genuine worry in them.
“Starlight, I know you’re upset about Sunburst, but please don’t do that. It’s hard–if not impossible–to come back from a decision like that.” I bit my lip, considering her words. No, I supposed that maybe altering reality wasn’t the smartest thing to do at the moment. Afterall, who knew if Sunburst and Coco would even stay together? For all I knew, they could’ve broken up already, and I was worrying for nothing. I considered the matter for a moment longer before Trixie’s worried expression made me brush it aside. I took a deep breath, giving Trixie a weary smile.
“Thanks Trixie. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I said honestly. She looked at the floor, a crease in her brow.
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I walked through the doors of Twilight’s beautiful crystal castle, feeling much more at peace than I had when I’d walked out of it. Soon after Trixie had convinced me not to alter the past, she’d confessed that she had to finish the trek through Ghastly Gorge. Apparently she was scheduled for a special performance for Maud, Mud Briar, and their vast collections of rocks and sticks.
I started walking towards my room, but stopped before I got there, noticing that I was quite hungry. No doubt it was due to the fact that between waking up to Sunburst’s painful admission and then heading to Trixie’s caravan, I hadn’t gotten the chance to eat all day. Turning around, I headed for the dining room. Spike always made far too many pancakes, and even this late in the morning, there were bound to be a few left.
I opened the door to the dining room in one large sweep. A strangled noise escaped my throat. Despite the stack of pancakes that was left on the table, the large room was mostly empty. Mostly empty, except for the two ponies in the shadowy corner kissing too deeply to even notice my entrance. No. It can’t be. I looked closer, and sure enough, it most certainly was.
Sunburst’s bright orange coat immediately gave him away. His partner was a mare that I’d never seen before. She was an earth pony with flawless cream-colored fur and perfect hair. She even had an insufferably cute little flower in her hair that stubbornly stayed in place despite the constant movement of her head. I took a step back. Then another. Then I turned and sprinted, not bothering to close the door behind me. I heard a surprised Sunburst call my name, but I didn’t bother stopping until I reached my room.
I flopped onto my bed, grabbing my pillow and slamming my head into it repeatedly, trying desperately not to cry. I groaned helplessly as tears started to form in my eyes anyway. I pressed my hooves into my eyes, trying to get them out before they could fall. There was a gentle knock at my door, but Sunburst didn’t wait for me to answer before he entered, taking in my horrible state. His eyes widened, and he came rushing over.
“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked. I gave a dry chuckle, rolling my eyes.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I just walked in on your makeout session,” I said, spatting the last two words like curses. Sunburst flushed, looking embarrassed.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that. I know the dining hall probably wasn’t the most appropriate place,” he said shyly. I pursed my lips, glaring at him as I did so.
“Oh, I don’t mind. Go at it in front of the whole town for all I care,” I said, the sarcasm stubbornly remaining even though I really wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “I just can’t believe you would do it in front of me,” I added quietly. He looked at me confusedly, which only irritated me more.
“Well, it’s not as if I could’ve known you’d come in,” he pointed out. I raised an eyebrow.
“You were in a public room, so you shouldn’t be surprised,” I said angrily. He looked taken aback and a little offended.
“Starlight, I already apologized for that. I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.” I stared at him incredulously.
“You don’t understand?” I repeated, a dangerous note in my voice. He raised his front legs and let them fall.
“No,” he answered. I could feel my face heating up through my anger.
“How do you not understand? Do I really mean nothing to you? Even if you honestly had never thought I might see, how could you kiss some other mare you just met three days ago in my home, when you knew I was in the same castle just a few halls away?” I yelled. My anger made my tears fall, and those tears only made me even more angry. Slowly, understanding started to dawn on Sunburst’s face.
“Wait. Are you… Jealous?” he asked.
“Oh, come on Sunburst! Don’t act so surprised! You knew I liked you. You’ve always known,” I accused. Now he started to reflect my anger, although in a much smaller quantity.
“How in Equestria could I have known that? It’s not like you ever told me!” he yelled in exasperation. Despite my anger, I felt a tiny bit of hope at his words.
“Well I’m telling you now! What are you going to do about it?” I asked, softening my tone just a bit. Sunburst touched his temple with his hoof, as if this was all just too much for him. Could he have been any more condescending?
“I’m with Coco! I like Coco! Even if I liked you, I could never do that to her!” I laughed humorlessly.
“Oh, so you can do that to me, but not to her?” Sunburst widened his eyes in annoyance.
“We were never together, Starlight!”
“And that’s my fault?” I asked, refusing to let it go even though part of me was telling me that I should.
“It’s nopony’s fault. That’s just the way it is. I went to the school of my dreams, and we didn’t see each other for a while. It just wasn’t meant to be!” His words reminded me of something Trixie had said no less than an hour ago. You and Sunburst grew apart overtime! That’s all there is to it! Trixie had said.
“Get out,” I said, my voice quiet but my anger still there.
“Starlight, I didn’t mean to–”
“Don’t even start. Ever since you got that stupid letter, you’ve thought you were better than me. That’s why we never worked out.” Sunburst was quiet for a moment.
“Is that really what you think?” I didn’t say anything, but my seething glare was enough of an answer.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t see how I can be friends with somepony who would think that of me,” he said, his voice cold and hard. I turned away so he wouldn’t see my tears.
“Get out,” I repeated. This time, he did.
What was I going to do? I couldn’t imagine my life without Sunburst in it. The last time he’d left, my life went totally downhill. I couldn’t go through that again! Once in a lifetime was more than enough for me.
What if it had never even happened the first time? I can change it. I know I can.
The thought startled me at first, but I quickly recovered. I went to the bookshelf next to my bed, taking a moment to find what I was looking for. Finally, I found an old journal in the very back of the shelf, not exactly hidden, but not in a position that ponies would easily see it if they walked in.
I looked around nervously, double-checking that nopony was watching even though I had no reason to believe that they would be. I opened up the book to the first page and flipped through it. I looked at the treacherous pages, wondering for the millionth time if I should’ve just gotten rid of it ages ago.
My peculiar journal wasn’t exactly a diary. At least, that wasn’t how I liked to think about it, though I supposed that it sort of was; it was certainly an outlet for venting. I’d started it a long time ago, when I had first dreamed up the concept of fully grown ponies without cutie marks. The first few pages were filled with equations, theories, and notes on how to strip somepony of their cutie mark. At several particularly dark moments, I’d considered using the spell on myself. I’d never done it though, telling myself that to enforce ‘equality’, I needed to have the power to make people equal. What a load of crap that had been.
Much further into the journal, there were also notes on the spell I’d created to put Twilight’s friends into a trance. I hadn’t planned on ever writing in the journal again, but my mind hadn’t been able to fathom the idea of just forgetting it. I didn’t plan on ever using that spell again, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to understand what I’d done. And how would I remember enough to understand without writing it down?
Finally, I found a spot near the middle of the journal where I’d taken my notes on how to expand the duration and stakes of the original time travel spell. And just as I remembered, one of Starswirl’s most famous scrolls sat comfortably in between two pages.
I still couldn’t believe that Twilight had never confronted me about it. I’d snuck into the Starswirl the Bearded wing in the Canterlot castle, and she never even found out. Or maybe she did, and she just hadn’t mentioned it to me for some reason. I wasn’t sure which made more sense. I wasn’t sure how anypony could believe that I’d made a revised version of Starswirl’s spell without actually having the original spell, but nopony had even mentioned it. Several times I’d considered giving back the scroll now, but I worried that my harboring it for so long would result in dire consequences. For all Twilight said about ‘forgiving’ me, I couldn’t help but think that something like this could send all of that down the drain.
I read through the notes on the time travel spells–both mine and Starswirl’s–thoroughly before grabbing a pen with my magic, and starting on a new entry.
I thought hard about exactly how I wanted to do this. I wanted it to be relatively similar to my previous attempt on a technical level, but there was still an important factor that I needed to change; memory. In my original alterations, the pony who cast the spell retained full memory of their prior life, and no memory of their new life.
I hadn’t been sure just a minute ago that I wanted to completely erase my recollection of this reality, but after looking at my journal again, I was positive. There was no reason to remember all of the horrible things I’d done if I was going to a reality where they hadn’t even happened in the first place. I was trying to create a place where I could be happy. A place where I could get everything I’d ever wanted without having to use other ponies to get it. No, I didn’t want to remember anything from this timeline.
I made a quick addition to my previous notes regarding memory, and then I read through it quickly. The first time I’d adjusted the spell, I’d spent several weeks double-checking every last detail, but I simply didn’t have the patience this time around. I was far too eager to put this mess of a situation behind me.
After a moment of thought, I decided on the exact moment that I wanted to go back to; the moment that Sunburst’s acceptance letter was delivered.
I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the finesse that such a complicated spell would take. However, just before I cast the spell, a blue face with soft purple eyes displayed itself in my mind’s eye. I felt a pang of doubt, before pushing it away. She might think that I was such a great part of her life, but I doubted that I’d truly made a positive impact on her. I pretty much just yelled at her and vented to her every other day. She would probably be happier without me as an added stressor in her life anyway. Still, I couldn’t shake the guilt lingering in my gut.
“I’m sorry Trixie,” I whispered. Then, I cast the spell, watching my magic flow out and form into a huge circular vortex. It looked a bit different the last time I’d cast the spell, but similar enough to clearly see the resemblance. I stepped through the vortex, and into the moment that ruined my life.
Author's Note
Thank you so much for reading Part 1 of Fated!
This story is inspired by Stuck in Canterlot by Silverstar7. I highly recommend that story, and at the time of publishing this, it's only sixty views short of one thousand views, so make sure to go check it out and get it to the thousand mark! Also make sure to check out the other entries to FanOfMostEverything's A Most Delightful Ponidox Contest. I haven't gotten the chance to read any of them myself yet, but some of them look very cool.
Thanks again, and if you enjoyed this chapter, be sure to stay tuned for future chapters, leave a like, and feel free to comment below with your thoughts!
