Protecting all hair in the universe, even if it's the hair of ponies!

by deadmanx513

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 3450

This Fic counts as a G-Rated Drug.

another Fic about the Canterlot Wedding getting crashed. but this time it's saved by the most unlikely hero yet!

this story is dedicated to my pal ShinigamiSparda!

Published 2020-09-07 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-07 20:50:01 UTC

Wedding crashing and nose heir flying!

The grand wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor of the royal guard was supposed to be a day of greatness. A day were the kingdom of Equestria would come together to celebrate to the wondrous occasion.

But that was not to be. For on this special day it was revealed that the bride Cadance was in fact the queen of the changelings known as Chrysalis, who had kidnapped the princess and taken her place so she could feed off the love of Shining Armor and weaken the shield protecting the city of Canterlot from the rest of her changeling army!

Worst yet, even when exposed at the alter by Twilight Sparkle (Shining’s little sister) and the real Princess Cadance, Chrysalis was still able to defeat Princess Celestia and capture everyone. Even the other members of Twilight’s group.

Now we find ourselves at the cusp of defeat as the queen of the changeling does the worst thing a villain can do.

Gloat.

“I can’t believe how easy it was to defeat you all!” laughed the insect-like pony as she covered her mouth with her hoof while letting out a triumphant laugh.

“You won’t get away with this,” Twilight said with a deadly glare while trying to tend to her fallen teacher, said mare was groaning out in pain as pain from her blackened horn. The proof of her being overpowered during her beam war with the evil queen.

“And the best part, no Luna to back you up!” the evil queen in question said with a laugh, her minions laughing with her. All the while the ponies in the main hall were wondering were Luna was and why hasn’t she come to help!

“Well I guess all we need to do now is lock you up and find those elements of harmony, just to make sure no one can use them on use,” Chrysalis said with an evil smirk.

“But just to make sure they can never be used,” the mother of the changelings trailed off as her evil gaze landed on the mane six. “Might as well take care of one of you so you can never bring out the element’s power.”

The mane six took a step back as they saw the toothy grin of Chrysalis as her eyes landed on Twilight.

“It might as well be the leader and the biggest thorn in my side,” she said with a twisted smile as she pointed towards the purple unicorn. Some of her children getting ready to attack. “Twilight!”

With that shout, five of her changelings flew towards the scared unicorn at breakneck speed. Preparing to tear her apart in front of everyone.

“Twilight!” her friends shouted as some of them tried to run to their friend’s defense, only to be held down by some more changeling.

“Goodbye Twilight Sparkle!” Chrysalis laughed while Twilight could only look on in fear of her approaching death.

A death that never came! As whip-like object shot out from somewhere and swatted away the 5 changelings out of the air like flies! They hit that ground with a loud thud, letting out weak hisses of pain and anger.

“WHAT!” Chrysalis shouted in anger. “Who would dare!”

“That would be me,” said a deep manly voice. Filled with hope Twilight turn towards the voice with a smile and eyes sparkling in admiration and hope.

Only for her eyes to bug out and her jaw to drop at what she was seeing.

Standing in front of her was a tall bipedal creature (a human… I think.) wearing a blue button-up shirt that barely contained his muscular chest which bulged out of his shirt, showing his slightly hairy chest. Around his neck was a thin neckless with a gold H hanging on it. He was also wearing a black leather jacket with white fur lining and red flames at the bottom, and kanji on the arms, and black pants with brown boots. He was also wearing a pair of white-framed sunglasses. But the most stand out thing about his physical appearance was is a large golden afro, it was so large and perfectly round it almost looked like it was made of pure solid gold!

But the thing that shocked Twilight the most was the fact the whip-like objects that saved her from the changelings were not whips at all, but actually his NOSE HAIR! They moved in the air like snakes ready to attack at a moment’s notice as the strange man stood their completely straight face as if this was completely normal!

“Wha-wha-wha…!” Twilight said wide-eyed and slack-jawed as she stared at the tall creature who walked towards the evil queen with no fear.

The evil queen in mention took a step back. Not out of fear at this new foe, but more out of straight confusion at what she was seeing. What WAS this thing, and why was it here?

Well, might as well ask.

“Who are you!” Chrysalis hissed out. “What gives you the right to interfere in MY victory!”

“I thought it was our victory?” muttered one changeling, only to get punched by one of his brothers who shushed him before their queen heard him.

“Now tell me!” Chrysalis shouted out, not hearing what her henchmen said. “Who ARE you.”

The man stood in front of her, his full height easily dwarfing the changeling queen, something that made her sweat a little. He stood there as his nose hairs went back his nose.

“I am the defender of all things hair and fair, and beater of badies who think they can do what they want,” he stated proudly. “My name is Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo! But you can call me Bo-bobo for short.”

“What about just Bo?” asked a random pony with a pickle cutie mark, only to get smacked by one of Bo-bobo’s nose hairs.

“Why did you do that!?” Twilight shouted in shock.

“I don’t like to be called Bo,” Bo-bobo simply answered.

“Don’t you think that was a bit harsh!?” the purple unicorn screamed in shock and anger.

“Enough!” Chrysalis shouted. “I can’t stand this nonsense!”

“Well too bad, because that what this story is all about,” Bo-bobo said.

“I just want to know what your doing here!” the queen shouted.

“Well it’s quite simple you see,” Bo-bobo said as he pointed at Chrysalis. “You’re running my vacation!”

Silence filled the hall as everyone looked at him like he was an idiot.

“.... what?” Chrysalis said with a narrowed look.

“You see! I was back home watching my little pony after my show had ended on that cliffhanger,” Bo-bobo answered. Confusing everyone in the grand hall. “And when I got to this episode I didn’t like how everyone was so mean to best pony! And how you were ruining a good wedding!”

“I’m best pony?” Twilight asked with a slight blush of embarrassment.

“NO!” Bo-bobo shouted in anger. “What makes you say that!?”

“But didn’t you say you were upset with how everyone was mean to me!?” Twilight asked with wide eyes and a slack jaw.

“What are you? Dumb?” Bo-bobo asked. “I never said anything like that.”

“But that what you said?” Twilight cried out in confusion.

“No, what I said was I’m here to stop Chrysalis from ruining the wedding and to show her the full might of the Super Fist of The Nose Hair,” Bo-bobo said as he turned back to the confused queen of the changelings.

Shaking off her confusion the evil queen gave the afro man an evil smirk. “Oh~? Do you think you can beat me? You might have knocked out 5 of my children but there are plenty more of them, not just in this hall, but also outside!”

“You sure about that?” Bo-bobo said with a raised brow. “You might have to look outside and see how possibly not right you are.”

“Wha?” Chrysalis muttered before flying to one of the windows to look outside.

“WHAT!?” screamed as she saw her changeling army being attacked by… giant teddy bears!?

That’s right ladies and gentlemen! While the important characters were talking Chrysalis’s army was being taken care of by Bo-bobo’s secret army of teddy bears! They haven’t been seen since the early parts of season one of the anime, si give them a round of applause.

“Take that! And some of that!” shouted one teddy bear as he was beating the crap out of a changeling with a giant paper fan. “This is what happens when you buy blue-capped milk!”

“But the red cap milk is full of cholesterol!” the changeling screamed as he tried to endure the many blows of the enemy. “It’s so bad for you!”

“Oh why can’t we be friends?” cried out one teddy bear as it blasted away a few changelings with a laser gun, it was supposed to be a machine gun, but this story is not rated mature enough for that kind of violence.

“Don’t worry man I got you!” shouted one Teddy bear as he helped a changeling out of a burning building.

“Thanks, partner,” wheezed out the changeling as he used his horn to shoot out some magic to stop the ninjas that started the fire. “We have to get to the president before it’s too late!”

In another part of town, a changeling was pushing a female teddy bear on a swing.

“Haha~! Higher Morty! Higher~!” giggled out the teddy bear as her boyfriend laughed at her joy.

“Sure thing honey~,” the changeling said with a laugh.

Chrysalis watched all this going down in mute horror in confusion.

“W-what is going on?” she said with a meek voice. “And why was I able to hear all those conversations all the way up here?”

“NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT THAT, THE STORY IS ALMOST OVER!” Bo-bobo shouted as he threw a cooked fish at the changeling queen. “Now eat up before you lunch ya mamma cooked ya gets cold!”

“But I don’t have a mamma!” cried Chrysalis cried out as she was blasted back by the power of the cooked fish’s nutritional value! “Also you want me to eat this fish with no tartar sauce!?”

“SKIP THE SAUCE!!!!!!” Bo-bobo shouted as he ran towards the down queen. But her henchmen/children/meatshield got in the way. “Oh no, you don’t!”

He started to glow gold and his nose heirs shot out of his nose as he jumped towards the changelings.

“SUPER FIST OF THE NOSE HEIR!” he shouted as he suddenly was wearing a ballerina outfit. He started spinning on one foot. Kicking with his other foot and whipping them with his nose heir. “Spinning at the store to get good deals!!!!”

“THAT NAME HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU’RE DOING!” Twilight screamed out with wide eyes.

“My children!” cried Chrysalis while sitting at a dinner table eating the cooked fish.

“YOU WERE EATING IT AFTER ALL!?” Twilight screamed even more. Feeling like her head was going to explode if she had to deal with this anymore.

Suddenly the scene changes to a movie theater.

“WE OF THE BO-BOBO THEATER ARE MORALLY OBLIGATED TO INTERRUPT THIS FIGHT SCENE WITH ANOTHER EPISODE OF BO-BOBO theater.!” shouted the narrator as the theater doors opened up showing that the theater was packed!... with animals. But anyways the screen turned on as it counted down.

3

2

1

The show started as we see the inside of a house as a thunderstorm was heard and a flash of lightning illuminated to the dark interior of the house. The scene then changes to the kitchen were Bo-bobo was slowly reaching his hands towards the handle of the refrigerator. He slowly reached out with shaky hands before grasping the handle, taking a sec to calm himself, the afro man swung the fridge open. What he saw made the strong worrier scream in fear and despair.

For the fridge was filled to the brim with nothing but green peppers! Not a single slice of bread or meat in sight!

The scene cuts back to the battle at the grand hall as we see Bo-bobo kneeling on the ground, back in his normal attire.

“NOOO! I HATE GREEN PEPPERS!” he cried as covered his face to hide the tears.

“THAT’S WHAT GETS YOU!” Twilight screamed.

“Quick my remaining children!” Chrysalis said after whipping her face with a napkin, to clean off any crumbs from her meal. “We must hit this buffoon fast and hard before he recovers! NOW! SECRET MOVE, FUSION TRANSFORMATION!”

Quickly every changeling in the hall that wasn’t beaten swarmed towards their queen. Swerling like a black tornado around her as she laughed in evil glee. Her emerald eyes glowing through the dark tempest that was her children.

Suddenly they all burst into green flames as a the sound of laughter could be heard.

Then suddenly a giant hoof stepped out of the green flames, then another, then a crooked horn. Then finally a pair of tattered butterfly wings spread out and snuffed out the rest of the fire, reviling a giant version of Chrysalis. But with the added features like giant fangs and demonic-looking butterfly wings and even a scorpion tail!

“HAHAHAHA!” the super form of the changeling queen laughed with a booming voice. “Now let’s see what you can do against the strongest form of my power!”

“Oh no!” cried the ponies. Any hope they had was squashed from seeing this unholy form the evil queen has taken. There was no way this Bo-bobo person could beat this!

“I see,” Bo-bobo said with a frown. “It seems like I have no choice, I’ll have to use my own fusion!”

“He can fuse as well!” Twilight screamed in surprise.

“NOWWWWWWWWWWWW!” Bo-bobo cried out. “It’s time to fuse!”

“But who is he going to fuse with?” Spike muttered, finally getting some screen time before getting grabbed by Bo-bobo.

“SPIKE!” cried out the mane six. Then Shining Armor was also grabbed.

“Shiny!” Cadance screamed as she saw her husband and the little purple dragon being tossed in the air. Bo-bobo’s afro then popped open at the top and the two he threw in the air fell in.

“HOW DID THEY FIT!?” cried every pony.

“It’s time!” Bo-bobo cried out as he glowed with a golden aura. “Fusion!”

Soon the light around him burst out blocking his form from everyone’s view.

“What kind of form will this fusion take?” Twilight wondered. Bo-bobo, Shining Armor, and Spike. All three of those would make a mighty warrior or even a savage beast!

Soon the light died down and the new warrior was revealed.

“H-hello,” whimpered out a little girl. Standing in Bo-bobo’s place was a small child. She was wearing a purple dress with a tiny pure white breastplate on her chest. She had dark brown eyes, Blue hair with green streaks. She has brown shoes and golden orbs on her shoulder. She also had a shield twice her side, with Bo-bobo’s face one it. “My name is BoboShiningSpike. Sorry but do I need to fight, this seems way too scary for me.”

“WHAT!?” screamed everyone as they looked at the meek girl who was hiding behind her shield in embarrassment.

“SORRY!” cried out the child. “But I hate scary stuff… also I can only be in this form for 30 seconds.”

“Then why did you transform into this form!?” screamed Twilight.

“Sorry!” BoboShiningSpike cried out.

“MWAHAHAHA!” laughed mega Chrysalis. “THIS!? THIS WAS YOUR TRUMP CARD! YOU MAKE THIS TOO EASY. NOW DIE!”

As the mega form of the queen charged towards the tiny child, all the ponies looked away, not wanting to see a child being killed.

“I said,” BoboShiningSpike muttered. Her eyes were hidden behind her heir. “I DON’T LIKE SCARY THINGS!”

With that, the child swung her shield and used it as a giant metal glove. Striking the giant changeling in the face, knocking a few teeth out as it was sent flying until it slammed into the wall across the hall, and leaving cracks in it from the impact.

“WHAT THE HECK!” screamed Twilight. “I thought you said you were scared!”

“I am!” the child said as she gave Twilight a thumbs up. “But mamma always said, if you fear something, then beat it with unrelenting violence~!”

“That’s terrible advice!” the purple unicorn screamed.

While that was going on, Mega Chrysalis got up and rubbed her sore jaw, and even spit out some more teeth before using her powers to regrow the missing ones.

“Ok, that was a thing,” muttered the queen as she got up, catching everyone's attention. Glaring down at the enemy that sent her flying, Chrysalis growled. “You think that was enough to take me out!? Well think again!”

With that, the changeling queen transformed her mane into giant snakes, and stretched them out towards the small child.

Looking scared the child reached out behind her. “Oh no! I need to use the snake repellent that mommy gave me!”

“EAT THIS!” the shield using fusion said with a scary face as she tossed an overside bomb at the snakes making them explode. “Mommy’s secret bomb surprise!”

“WHAT KIND OF MOTHER GIVE THEIR KID A BOMB!?” Twilight screamed out bugged eyed.

“AHHHHHHH!” cried Chrysalis as she and her children defused from that attack. “This can’t be happening! I was supposed to win!”

“Sadly for you, you’re scary!” BoboShiningSpike cried out. “And if cheap cable cartoons have taught us anything, scary things always lose, that and how to order overpriced gift during the middle of the night!”

Jumping into the air, BoboShiningSpike started glowing with a golden aura as her nose hairs not only shot out of her nose but her shield’s nose as well!

“Super fist of the nose hair!” she cried as the nose hair attacked the changelings relentlessly. “Snot-for-you: bellowing of Saturday tv cartoons!”

“THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!” Chrysalis cried out as she and her children were sent flying out the stainless windows and out into the horizon, never to be seen again, or at least for this one-shot fanfic.

BoboShiningSpike looked on towards were her enemy was sent flying. A somber look on her face.

“And with that, I’m done,” she said as she glowed for a quick second. Before splitting back to Bo-bobo, Spike, and Shining armor.

“Spike! Shining!” Twilight cried out as she rushed towards the two and wrapping them up in a hug. “I’m so glad your ok!”

“Me too!” cried out Cadanse as she hugged her soon to be husband. “I’m so sorry I got kidnapped and let this happen!”

“Uge, what happened?” Shining muttered. First, he was brainwashed by the evil queen, then he gets sucked up by an afro along with Spike.

“I don’t want to know…,” Spike muttered as he rubbed his head. “I think I’m going to avoid weddings for a while.”

“Whatever it was I’m just glad you two came out of it no worst for wear,” Twilight said as she hugged them soon she was joined by everyone else in the mane 6 and even Celestia who had enough strength to move now.

“So are we sugar cube,” Applejack said with a smile.

“You did great out their Spike,” Rarity said with a Smile. “And that for you had was SO CUTE~!”

“And we’re sorry for not listening to you about the fake princess Twi,” Rainbow Dash said. Getting her one line for this story.

“As friends, we should have trusted you more,” Fluttershy whispered out.

“It’s ok guys,” Twilight said as she hugged them back. Though she did notice something was off.

“Weres Pinkie Pie?”

(otside the castle.)

“Thanks for coming Bo-bobo,” Pinkie said as she gave the afro human a hug.

“No Problem Pinkie, I’m always glad to help,” Bo-bobo said with a smile. Breaking up the hug, the human soon walked towards a space ship, parked next to the castle. “But I need to go back home, or DonvPatch will start turning every light on and raise the electric bill. I don’t have enough of Jelly Jiggler’s money to pay that.”

With that, Bobobo-bo bo-bobo got onto the ship and closed the airlock door. The ship rumbled for a few seconds before raising up… a few inches. Then it started moving towards the main gate. revealing that was being carried by the teddy bears from before. While Pinkie Pie watched on with a smile.

And with that, the day was saved by the great hero…

“Oh crap there’s no steps off this mountain!” cried one of the teddy bears as they and the rocket Bo-bobo was riding in fell of the side of the mountain.

Bobobo-bo bo-bobo!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER END!

Sorry, not sorry.