The Inner Thoughts of Silverwings

by Silverwings Productions

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Profanity, Violence
Length: 1599

Silver has doubts on going forwards with her career as one of the Royal Investigative Forces' top members.

After a night experiencing what her fellow R.I.F. agents see during a strange and terrifying time in Canterlot, Silverwings, the 'Piano Mare,' has serious doubts about herself and her royal position.

Contains one instance of profanity. This may also be a bit of a sensitive topic for some, so I’m warning you in advance.

Published 2020-09-11 05:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-11 05:50:00 UTC

When All Seems Lost, Look To Your Friends

I stumbled into my room in Canterlot Castle a changed mare. My head still ached from where that cinder block impacted my skull some distance behind my horn, the protective helmet not helping to soften the blow. Once the door had shut I began to discard my armour, not caring where it would fall on the floor. The visored helmet came off first; I took it in my aura and turned it so that I could see the scuff marks inflicted by the angry stallion. The black paint and cutie mark crest were chipped, revealing the dented silver metal underneath. The visor was cracked a little as well. I discarded the helmet onto the floor, collapsing next to it from my head-splitting migraine.

Perhaps I had received a small concussion.

My breastplate came off as soon as the pain subsided; it was a custom-made piece of armour constructed from a mix of Kevlar and magic-proof steel emblazoned with my cutie mark, designed perfectly to fit my narrow chest measurements. It hadn't taken quite as hard a hit as the helmet, but it was still slightly scuffed. This I discarded next to the helmet on my wooden floor.

Then came the body covering and duty belt, my baton, radio, and first aid supplies fastened to it. I unceremoniously dumped this next to the breastplate.

Finally, I removed my boots. All four were black, scuffed and scratched from a night of protection and service. These I left by the growing pile of armour on the floor.

Now that I was alone, I slowly stood up, heading for my private bath. Shakily I turned on the water, waiting for it to warm up before stepping in. I drew the curtains back and let the water pour over my coat, relaxing me slightly. My mind began to wonder, eventually happening to stop on mulling over how Detective Nightingale was doing. She is a fellow agent, also out on the frontlines tonight with me. She warned me of the coming attack, but by that time it was too late. The cinder block wielding stallion's weapon hit me directly behind the horn, causing me to momentarily black out before coming to in Nightingale's hooves. She provided a little medical attention in the form of a concussion check, the result of which she never specified, for she had to once more rush into that chaotic Canterlot city block, riot shield in aura.

I love that mare. Though she's a detective and I am royalty, we have an undercover connection to each other, a bond that began in foalhood. She's been by my side all the way until royalty; even now she remains my closest friend. It was heartbreaking watching her get that call on the radio, seeing her face fall behind the helmet.

"I love ya, Princess," she had said before rushing off into the flaming fray with several other Royal Investigative Forces officers.

All of a sudden, my mind switches gears. What if I never see her again?! What if she died? What if she's been attacked?

Overcome with emotions, I collapsed to the floor of the shower and sobbed into my hooves. I remained that way until I figured it was time to turn off the water. Once I had dried off, I realised one thing.

Everything I stand for was being dismantled before my eyes.

I was vaguely aware of voices outside my room. It was a mumble of various voices, a few of which I could not distinctly attach to certain ponies. Then I heard it.

"I can't let her suffer, mayor!" Marnie Nightingale. Her voice, though muffled, made my ears swivel towards the door. I continued to listen to the interactions outside, my sobs only ceasing for gasps of breath.

"She's in there sobbing her eyes out due to this chaos you let our city fall into! Now, if you would please leave me be, I need to go and comfort my marefriend!"

At this, the door opened, a shaft of light entering the room. I looked up from my pillow on my side of the bed to meet the eyes of Nightingale, her anger now replaced with sympathy. Even in this darkness, I could see as well as if it were daylight; sometimes my curse was a blessing. "Silver," she began softly, approaching the bed. "Will you... talk to me for a minute?"

I nodded as she climbed into the bed beside me, reaching out with her hooves and pulling me in close. Suddenly I burst into tears, my muffled sobs becoming frantic bouts of outright crying, driven by fear, relief, anxiety, pain, and a maddening thought that my world was falling apart.

Marnie rubbed her hooves up and down my back in a soothing manner. "Shhhhhh," she whispered into my ears, pressed flat against my skull. "Shhhhhh, Silver, it's alright."

"I-I thought I'd never s-see you a-again, Gale," I whispered into her chest fluff.

"I felt the same way," she admitted quietly. "I didn't want to leave you. You had received a bad concussion. I-" She began to get choked up. "I really thought that would've ended you. You're such a fragile-built mare, I feared that he had delivered the fatal blow. I've never been happier to see you wake. I gave you a quick healing spell and forced you to pop a painkiller before that bitch of a dispatcher called everypony to the block."

"How many, Gale?" I asked, rising slightly and looking into her eyes. "How many dead?"

"None."

I heaved a small sigh of relief before sobbing once more into her chest. If any agent was lost, it would have fallen on me. I would have gotten blamed, for I was the highest ranking on scene. I wasn't the leader of the battalion, but as royalty and R.I.F.'s royal oversight, I would have felt responsible.

"It's okay, Silver," Gale whispered as I entered an uncontrollable shaking which prompted her to pull me in tighter. "Cry it out. Your secret is safe with me."

"My world... my dream..." I muttered in surreal moments of clarity. "I can't take it. I can't take it, Gale."

"Darling, what are you talking about?"

"Haven't you noticed, Gale? How our world is crashing down on us?"

She was silent for a moment before continuing, a grim expression on her lips. "Yeah."

"J-Just because of the actions of a few, they turned their backs on us. Suddenly we're all the bad guys, just because t-they used an u-unacceptable amount of force. A-and suddenly we're all under fire. I hate this! I wish I could resign a-and go live a normal life."

"Baby, I know you're concerned, but let me put it this way. If you resign, you give them what they want. They want you to resign, to step down, to abdicate your throne. But, if you ask me, you're a great leader. A great princess. You'll come back from this stronger than ever. Don't give up now, just because it's stressful. Believe me, I've had the thought of resigning, too. But that would be letting down the ponies you and I are sworn to lead, sworn to protect. And we can't let them down now, can we? Regardless of how they treat us, we must always serve to the best of our abilities. Especially you, Silverwings. You're royalty." Here she stopped and heaved a heavy sigh. "It was very noble of you to sign on with the R.I.F. It's something I'm indebted to you for; stepping up to serve alongside me even though you are a princess. You volunteered to be on the front lines, and it isn't glitz and glam like the cop shows portray. I've been called every slur you can think of while on the beat. And it's gotten me down quite a bit."

"I-I know," I replied shakily. "I remember our talks."

"And you were there to comfort me. Just like that, I'll be here to comfort you."

"Thank you, Marnie." I yawned, my mind slightly put at ease. I was still trembling, but Marnie's cuddling helped sooth me. Gently she pulled the duvet over us, using her magic to tuck it tightly. After a while, her warmth flowed through me, reducing my uncontrollable shaking to small bursts. Her hooves rubbed my back, and it wasn't long before my eyelids began to grow heavy.

"Goodnight, my perfect princess," Marnie spoke upon realising my drowsy state.

"Goodnight, Gale," I replied, half-asleep. "I love you."

She smiled down at me. "I love you too, Silver. And I'll always be here for you. Don't ever doubt that."

The End

Author's Note

Sometimes we all need somepony to lean on.

Sometimes we worry for personal reasons, like if you're like me and have anxiety.

Sometimes our worries can be caused by external factors such as the ones portrayed in this story. But when in worry, look to your friends. Your friends will be there for you, they will listen.

Now before you start, I know it's a bit of a controversy right now, but I felt that it would make a good example. They put their lives on the line for us, and more often than not, they can reach extreme low points due to the violence and constant stress of the job, much like Princess Silverwings in this story. That is why I decided to choose law enforcement for this example. In the words of Marnie Nightingale: “It isn’t all glitz and glamour like the cop shows portray.”