“I'm sorry, you're WHAT?!” Flash yelped.

“I'm chaperoning at the Sadie Hawkins Dance tomorrow!” Azure replied with a grin. “Isn't that great? You won't have to go alone now.”

Flash bit back the unkind thought that manifested in his head and tried to plaster a smile on his face. He failed.

“Oh, yeah, great,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Oh stop it,” Azure replied. “You know I won't do anything to embarrass you.”

Not on purpose, anyway. Flash thought, noting the purple halter top and skin tight jeans she was wearing today. Out loud, he said: “I wasn't even really planning to go to the dance. Nobody asked me.”

“Well, I'm asking you. I can't show up there without an escort! What would people say?” Azure asked in a mock-scandalized tone.

Probably something like “I wonder if I could convince her to step into that broom closet for ten minutes?” continued Flash's inner monologue.

He sighed and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets. “Well, I guess if you put it that way,” he said.

“Yay!” Azure swept her son up into a hug which, after a moment, Flash returned. “Now, let's go!” she said.

“Go? Go where?” Flash asked.

“Well, if I'm going to be at a school dance, I need a new dress, don't I?”

“I guess?”

“Exactly,” said Azure, grabbing her car keys from the rack that hung on the wall next to the door leading to the garage. “And I need a second opinion, and you're nominated, kiddo. So we're going to the mall.”

“The mall?” Flash gulped. Maybe I'll get lucky and no one I know will be there.

So much for that. Flash thought as Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy waved to him and Azure from across the women's department at Cashman's department store.

“Hi Flashie! Flashie's mom!” Pinkie chirped as she bounded over.

“Hello, girls!” Azure replied with equal cheer. “Are you dress shopping too?”

“Accessories, mostly,” said Fluttershy.

“Rarity has our outfits for the dance all set up!” Pinkie confirmed. She suddenly let out a gasp. “Are you shopping for a dress for the dance, Mrs. Flame?”

“Guilty!” Azure grinned. “But it's been kind of difficult. I'm not finding anything I like and for some reason I haven't been able to get a clerk to help me. Oh! There's one! Excuse me!”

Azure spun in place, her hair flowing out in a metallic blue wave. Her lithe form turned effortlessly and her prodigious chest bounced in an enticing manner. The girl at the counter took one look at her and decided she needed to go use the ladies room. Immediately. For about ten minutes or so, and shot off at high speed.

Azure frowned in confusion. “That always happens for some reason. Weird.”

Fluttershy, her face now a bright red, let out a squeak. Pinkie, however, held up a finger and grinned even wider.

“I know! Let's go to Rarity's boutique. I know there's not enough time for her to make something for you, but there's gotta be something she can help you find.”

“Isn't that actually Prim Hemline's boutique? I've heard things are kind of pricey there,” said Azure.

"I'm sure Rarity has something in your bust--" Fluttershy squeaked as Flash noticed her eyes darting up to meet Azure's at the last second. "Budget! In your budget..."

Flash managed to stifle the groan that welled up in the back of his throat. And so it begins...

–

“Of course I have something to fit your budget!” Rarity trilled after Azure explained her situation. She took the older woman by the arm and practically dragged her across the store to a rack of dresses. “Now, these aren't exactly the up-to-the-minute latest, but they're also certainly not out of season either.”

As the group crossed the store, the other store clerk called out. “Um... Rarity? I need to... use the powder room. Are you going to be okay?”

“Absolutely, Coco, darling!” Rarity called back. Coco flushed and dashed into the back of the shop at high speed.

“Ooooh!” Azure cooed, pulling an emerald green gown off the rack. She held it up in front of her. “What do you think, Flash? Is it me?”

Flash eyed the dangerously high slit that ran up the side of the skirt, as well as the dangerously low bustline. “Ummm... I don't think it's quite your... color, Mom.”

“Are you sure?” Azure held the gown up in front of her. “Your father always said I looked good in green.”

Rarity glanced from Flash to Azure and stepped in. “To be quite honest with you, darling, I don't think that's quite the right gown for a high school dance.”

Azure looked at the dress and put it back on the rack with a sigh. “I suppose you're right.”

“Um, if you don't mind me saying so,” said Fluttershy, hiding behind her hair and touching her index fingers together. “I don't think there'd be any harm in Mrs. Flame trying on anything she likes. Even if it isn't quite right for the dance.”

Azure crossed over to the girl and hugged her, causing Fluttershy to let out an “eep!” and turn bright red.

“Thanks for the support,” Azure said. She looked back at Rarity. “Tell you what, why don't you pick some things out for me? You seem to have an eye for that sort of thing.”

Rarity began going through the rack, pulling out various dresses as she muttered to herself. “No… no… yes...no… definitely not… ohhhh, yes! No… Yes… yes…no...”

“Hey, Mom,” Flash called. “You might want to let Fluttershy go now.”

Azure blinked and looked down where Fluttershy was still in her arms, her face pressed up against the older woman's chest. “Oops! Sorry.”

“I don't think she mi-iiiiiinds!” Pinkie whispered to Flash, elbowing him in the ribs.

Flash rolled his eyes and glanced out the large picture window at the front of the store. He frowned as he saw the top of a familiar purple ponytail bob below the bottom edge of the window.

“Excuse me for a second, Pinkie,”he said, heading for the door.

He stepped out and sighed again at the sight of Twilight crouched below the store window, some kind of weird gizmo in her hands. The nerdy girl looked up as his shadow passed over her.

“Twilight,” he said, irritation clear in his voice.

“Flash!” Twilight grinned like a lunatic. “Hi! What are you doing here?”

“Shopping with my mom,” he said flatly. “What about you?”

“Oh, just taking a walk.”

“A walk.”

“Yes!”

Flash folded his arms. “A walk with what looks suspiciously like one of your magic monitoring thingamajigs.”

“Um... well...” Twilight put her hands behind her back, hiding the gizmo from sight.

“You're trying to get readings on my mom again.”

Twilight stood up. “Whaaaaaat? Noooooo! I was just some readings on the... um... mini black hole!”

Flash quirked an eyebrow. “Mini black hole. In this part of the country, at this time of day, located just outside the store where my mother happens to be shopping at this very moment?”

“Ummm,” Twilight's grin got wider. “Yes!”

Flash pulled out his phone. “I'm calling Sunset.”

“Why? I'm right here.”

The two of them yelped in surprise as Sunset Shimmer appeared around the corner. She looked at the two of them, perplexed.

“What's going on?”

“Nothing!” Twilight said too fast. “Flash and I were just discussing mini black holes!”

Now it was Sunset's turn to quirk an eyebrow and fold her arms. “Mini black holes.”

“Yes!”

“Really.”

“Absolutely!” Twilight looked at Flash, bouncing her eyebrows in desperation.

“She's been trying to take readings on my mom,” he said flatly.

Sunset blinked. “Azure's here?”

Flash jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “She's buying a dress for the dance tomorrow.”

Sunset looked longingly through the window for a moment, then shook herself out of it and turned her gaze on Twilight. “What the hell, Twilight?”

Twilight blushed and looked down at her feet blushing. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

Sunset sighed and turned to Flash. “Sorry about that.”

“It's cool.”

Sunset shook her head. “No, it isn't, but I'll take care of it.”

The redheaded girl grabbed Twilight by the ear and began dragging her down the street.

“Oww! Ow! Ow ow ow!” Twilight protested.

“I swear, I can't take you anywhere,” Sunset said as she dragged Twilight away.

Flash let out another sigh and went back into the boutique. He looked around and found Pinkie standing outside the fitting room.

“Hey, where is everybody?” he asked.

“Oh, Rarity and your mom are in there trying some stuff on.”

“Is everything okay?”

Pinkie got a mischievous look on her face. “Well, I haven't seen Rarity flinging herself at your mom yet, so that's a good thing, riiiiight?”

“Oh for God's sake,” Flash mutter rubbing his eyes. Pinkie put an arm around his shoulders.

“Cheer up, Flashie. There's worse things in life than having a stupidly hot mom.”

Before Flash could respond, a squeal of delight came from the fitting room.

“Oh, my god, Rarity, it's PERFECT!” Azure squealed.

“Are you sure, darling?” Rarity replied. “It seems a bit... tight.”

“I love it! And I'm sure it'll stretch as I wear it.”

“Well, that's...er... not quite what I meant, Mrs. Flame.”

Flash listened to the conversation and held up three fingers.

“What do you mean?” Azure asked.

Flash dropped one finger.

“Well... how can I put this... um... there seems to be a bit of a...” Rarity's voice dropped to a stage whisper. “...panty line.”

Flash dropped another finger.

“Is there?” Azure said. “Let me just... oh. I see.”

“I thought you might,” said Rarity. “So let's try on one of these others...”

“No, that's okay,” said Azure. “It's easily fixed.”

“Beg pardon?”

Flash pointed at the curtain shielding the fitting room from the rest of the store.

“MRS. FLAME!” came Rarity's scandalized voice. “Your... unmentionables!”

“It's fine. We're all girls here, right, Fluttershy?”

“Yes, Mama,” came Fluttershy's voice.

“What?”

“What?”

“Um... yes.” Rarity's voice seemed oddly strained. “Could you just, excuse me for a moment?”

Rarity came out of the fitting room at high speed, nearly colliding with Flash and Pinkie. Her face was bright red and she fanned herself with her hand

“Oh, I'm so sorry, darlings!” she apologized. “Excuse me, won't you? I just... need to use the powder room!”

Rarity zipped to the back of the store without waiting for a response. After a moment, Flash and Pinkie heard the sound of frantic banging on the door, follow by Rarity shrieking: “Coco! Come out of there! I have urgent business to do!”

Flash put his face in his hands and groaned. Pinkie gave him a sympathetic look and patted him on the back.

“Look at it this way, Flashie, things can't get any worse.”

Of course, in accordance with several cosmic laws, she was very, very wrong.

Author's Note

Special thanks to Shortskirtsandexplosions for his help in hammering this thing out.