The Mare and The Psychiatrist
Let me review your case with an intro for my recording. Is that acceptable?
“Yes, but I said-”
Okay, I’ll begin. This is Honorary Psychiatrist Piston Rod speaking, and I am reviewing the case of Miss Berry Punch, or as she claimed to be, Jesse Rogers of the species human. Appearance wise, she is an Earth pony of mulberry coat with purple-pink mane and tail. From her claims as a human, she was a bipedal being with five fingers on each appendage, descendant species from apes, was 165 centimeters tall, and 24 years old.
This is the case of a mistaken identity, either lost, merged, or false. The case of Berry Punch, Jesse Rogers.
She claimed that she was human. For ease of access, there are notes and files I have separated for listeners to better understand the contents of this recording. For now, I will get right towards the point.
Here is the problem; you cannot verify that you are either one or the other, even when you were sure that you are one of them. May I claim that it is the truth?
“It might seem like that, doctor, but really, I am-“
Yes, yes. You were… a human before all of these. You woke up in the red house out over there in a body you don’t recognize, and others kept calling you Berry Punch or something like that, yes?
“Exactly, doctor. Still, you have to believe me that I am a human. Name anything and I’ll do it to prove myself, please!”
Ah, ah, ah, Miss Punch, or Miss Jesse, whichever you want to be called with, we have a procedure to do. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that later.
So, let’s stick with Jesse for now, is that acceptable?
“…it is.”
Good. Now, how about you first recount what happened so far until now?
“Here’s the thing, doctor. I don’t even get why I should be in therapy. I KNOW I’m a human! I should be finding my way b-“
Story, please. I know you want to vent, break down, or cry yourself to sleep, or anything you want to do as coping mechanism. But please, for now, just the story. Take a deep breath, relax your body, wiggle your hooves, and speak up as the tension fades.
“… … … okay. Okay, I will.”
“First of all, my name is Jesse Rogers, and I am a 24 years old human woman from Alabama.”
Ah, was that’s where… what was it that you say, Bali?
“No, that was another place of my vacation. May I finish?”
Certainly, sorry for my interruption.
“Okay, I can do this… As I’ve said, I’m from Alabama. It’s a place located in the nation of United States of America, or USA for short. I have a mother alive. I had a big brother I called Mox, but he died young in the age of 14 during a pandemic, while Father died serving as a soldier… Crap, sorry, this was hard to remember.”
I understand, continue at your own pace. Now, names of them, maybe? And then we can continue.
“Right. Father was… Tyler Rogers. Mom was birthed Veronica Dixie, but changed into Veronica Dixie Rogers upon marriage. My brother’s name is Moxie Rogers.”
Ah, so you’re implying that the society there was of patriarchy, or at least has remnants of it?
“Yes, well, sort off? Woman and Man were already equalled by the time I lived, but you can say it like that. Here, it’s matriarchy, correct?”
Not quite, but you can say that. The scale of mare versus stallions here are 4 to 1 in favour of mares. It’s no surprise that the society here tend to be a bit more… mare-ish. Still, we are treated as equals, like you had said. Now, care to continue?
“Okay. Where was I?”
You were introducing your family.
“Oh, yeah. So, I am a university student, just graduated from actuary, and I was instantly enrolled with a job upon graduation. Life was good, very good. As a celebration, me and some of my childhood friends took a trip to Bali to have fun and relax our hearts out. We swam on the beach, partied all night and day, saw the sights, fed the wild monkeys, and had an amazing all you can eat Korean beef strips.”
Beef… strips?
“Oh, sorry about that. I learned my lesson that you ponies don’t take too kindly of carnivorous habits.”
Oh, it’s fine, Jesse. I am not one to judge. Do continue.
“Thank you. As I was saying, we took a holiday trip to Bali. Well, we have to get back home. Oh, did I mention that we travelled using airplanes? Do you guys have airplanes here?”
No, but etymology-wise, I’ll assume it’s a form or air-based travel. Is that correct?
“Yeah, you’re right. So basically, we were in this airplane, waiting for it to take off into the air, when we were suddenly taken hostage by a suicide bomber. He was demanding money or he will blow the airplane up. The guy was frantic, pulled an airplane staff in as a close-quarter hostage. None of us were allowed out of the plane else he detonates.”
That’s harsh.
“That it is. Well, we survived. No, I survived. So our airplanes have bathrooms in it, and I was inside it at the time. I was about to get back to my seat when the man made his move, so I hid in there. The last thing I knew was an explosion and I got knocked out.”
And then you died and woke up here?
“Not quite just yet. I survived, but fatally injured. They took me into the hospital, but my brain was damaged, said I had hours to live. I wanted a nice send-off, so me and my friends watched a show we watched since we’re kids, mostly for nostalgia. To quote my friend Alice; “to send you off into a colourful afterlife if there is one.””
Kids being foals, in your… uhh… language?
“English, and…yeah. It was a cartoon show, like moving images fast enough that it looks like they move. Now the problem was this; it was a kids show, but it was about… well… how do I break this down.”
Sorry if I am being horribly intrusive in your story, but I’ll assume it’s a work of fiction that tells you of a story about Equestria.
“H- how… how did you know?”
Lucky guess, but it was obvious. Don’t worry about blowing up my perception of reality or anything like that, I’ve gotten used to it. Speak what you have to speak, I’ll listen.
“Gotten… used to it?”
Well, uhh… I mean, some patients have quite clever arguments that gave even me some really spicy food for thoughts. It’s been what, 14 years since my first mental breakdown myself. I was saved by a psychiatrist myself, and I strived to be one. If you saw my cutie mark, it’s not really related to my profession now, is it?
“Fitting mark for your name, Mr. Rod. I still can’t grasp the fact that you all have your special talents tattooed to your butts. Seems ridiculously convenient. Anyways, what actually comes first, your names or the cutie mark?”
Well, it’s something I haven’t been able to know myself, I’m asexual, you see. Don’t get me wrong, I have a marefriend, and I’m all for love and that, but I’m asexual. Now, care to continue?
“Oh, yes, sure. As I was saying, I watched the show, mostly centred around the Mane 6. Do you know who they are? Twilight Sparkle and co?”
Oh, who doesn’t? Everypony knows who they are, Elements of Harmony and all that. Twilight became a princess years ago, but they were still tight as ever. I had met them just last week, actually, during the uhh… Nightmare Night. She needed help with the self-moving carriage I had built for her.
“Nightmare Night was a week ago? And there are cars here now?”
Don’t get me wrong, they’re prototypes yet. Using magic to power a transmission was particularly complicated. It was different from internal combustion engines, which uses liquid combustible fuel, and oh Celestia, the pollution it generates! I was able to make a clean diesel engine, but the pollution was still enough for the princesses to not approve of my designs. It took me 10 years just to perfect a single magic-powered car. Let me tell you, they’re volatile as all tartarus, but the power is amazing. A single gram of magic crystal can output-
“Sir?”
…oh. Sorry, heheh. Force of habit. Seems like I’m rubbing off of Twilight. Alright, moving on. What about the show?
“The show was about Twilight Sparkle and friends, depicted their lives and stuff. Nightmare Moon purification, Canterlot wedding, Sombra, the works, you know? So we were watching the show, and I started feeling really dizzy in my hospital room, and I flopped into the pillow, unconscious for several minutes. The doctors were called, I was zapped awake, and it was fine. An hour later, it happened again, and a bleeding in my brain opened.”
Sorry for that.
“You don’t have to be, I guess. I was told that I had an hour left, so I just spend it talking with my friends, and watched the show some more. I wasn’t actually watching by that point, just focusing on my increasingly prominent headache and blurring vision, but I did enjoy being around my friends.”
Ahh yes, the magic of friendship and all that.
“Yeah… magic of friendship. Anyways, my vision eventually fell into nothingness, and I felt myself flying above into the skies. Next thing I knew, though, I was Berry Shine. Did you know of her before?”
You are the local punch supplier. Were, maybe in this case. Though, even if you’re not Berry Punch, as you claimed, you might want to keep the business running. That cutie mark of yours aren’t just for show. So, Jesse, what did you do when, erm… first time waking up here?
“I took the whole day learning to walk on four feet, that’s what. Descending down the stairs were freaky. I also don’t know how, but apparently ponies can grab things with their hooves. Also, I learned that there’s magic here, all around like a natural air composition. It was freaky at first, still is now.”
So, according to that, that other world of yours doesn’t have magic at all?
“No, we’re all clean. Everything we made is of electrical and mechanical.”
Huh. Let me write that down for a bit.
“Soo… you’re not going to scoff or anything? I thought ponies here don’t know how the world would function without magic?”
During my work as psychiatrist, I learned not to question too much of what I might not want to know, else I’ll have another mental breakdown on my hooves, either myself or my patients. It’s just something you pick up in the profession. What’s next?
“Uhh, I kinda searched around the house first, realizing that this Berry Punch girl… mare? lived alone, which is good. I went around the town, meeting some of her friends. I played it cool at first, claiming amnesia, and I got up to speed on Berry’s life. Next several days was spent crying my eyes out, having massive depression, and I drank nearly all of Berry Punch’s Alcohol Punch stash.”
Ahh, so that’s why you gained the reputation of being the local drunkard.
“It’s honestly embarrassing, but yeah.”
So, is that it, or are there anything else to add?
“I eventually calmed down, and I started learning to live like a pony, just enough to get by. I sold the punch orders out to ponies who ordered them, but I haven’t gotten around to make them myself just yet. The stock was nearly empty, and I’m afraid that they will know. No one seemed to believe me when I tell them I wasn’t actually Berry Punch, and it frustrates me.”
Well, it will be frustrating indeed if everypony you talk to claim yourself a liar or a joker. Your alcoholic tendencies did not help, by the way.
“I guess… Now that I think about it, why aren’t you disproving my story or something yet? Why did you listen until the end?”
My job is to give troubled ponies an ear to listen, a lap to cry on, a shoulder to rest on, and a diagnostic to help them. It won’t do at all if I started laughing at my patients now, wouldn’t it? Besides, sometimes some things are just too far fetched to be the truth, but it’s too unbelievable to be fiction. Yours are one such case, Jesse, and it is why I volunteered to take upon your case.
“Wait, you volunteered? I thought the princess just assigned me a session with a random psychiatrist to see if it will help with my breakdowns?”
Well, I just couldn’t stand seeing a pony like you getting all miserable all the time. And besides, let’s just say that my share of alcohol will be in short supply if you couldn’t be back as yourself soon… or in your case, maybe, you not continuing Berry Punch’s business. In any case, I’m here, and you’re here, so let’s talk it out slowly. Don’t worry, I have been scheduled for the entire day. So, anything else you want to add?
“I guess not… Ah, I learned about the world here mostly from the show, and I got a good memory of it. Some ponies I remember, like Bonbon, Lyra, Vinyl, and the likes. Some of them, like you, I don’t know. I’ll assume you’re a background character. Okay, that sounds offensive, sorry. The point is that I know a lot of your world, although I must say, it seemed like it’s been quite some time since the timeline ends in my world’s depiction of your world.”
None taken. If I’m not a main character, that only means that my privacy here is secure, wouldn’t you agree?
“Hahah, you’re quite positive doc. It’s calming.”
Well, we can’t have two ponies breaking down like madmares now, only one of us should do that. So, what year is it Equestria in your world ended?
“No no not Equestria ending, it’s just that the show stopped airing exactly 15 years ago in my world. I think, the last thing we had was the Tirek, Cozy Glow, Chrysalis combo.”
Oh, that, yes. I remembered that happened around 15 years ago. Cozy Glow went on a mission to erase all magic, Tirek wanted to gain power or something, and Chrysalis just wanted revenge, I guess? I haven’t exactly been there on the spot, just heard some naysays. And wasn’t Grogar turned out to be Discord?
“About right. Wait, 15 years ago? Doesn’t that mean our world is connected?”
If you say so, Jesse. I’m not exactly a theoretical interdimensional magi-scientist. Anything else to add?
“No, I guess.”
Good, so now, what makes you think that you are a human?
“Well, duh! I was a human, no doubt! My friends; Alice, Lawson, Jessica, Kate, and Judy. My family and my brothers. The countless technologies I had seen, and everything. You’re going to eventually not believe me too, right? Ugh! Everyone’s being such an ass!”
Now hold on just a second, I didn’t say I don’t believe you. Maybe I should reiterate my question then; what makes you believe you’re NOT Berry Punch?
“I don’t have any memory of being her at all. The only memory I have are of me being human. How about you tell me how this Berry Punch girl is in day to day life.”
As I’ve told you, I have little contact with you, or her. Rather than beat around the bush, what do you want to do now?
“I want to find a way back towards the human world. It’s real, I assure you, I just have to find a way back. My friends and family would miss me! I don’t want them to grief and cry knowing I’m alive myself! At least, I need to tell them I’m okay, that I’m still alive and kicking, and I will try my hardest to get back to them.”
Okay… now there are several problems with that, Jesse. Firstly, let’s say your scenario is all real, to ease up our session here. Are you sure this is not a dream?
“I’m telling you, it’s all real!”
Okay, okay. Now, from your own opinion, what do you think incited your displacement from there to here? Into Berry Punch’s body no less?
“Well, how the hell should I know? The only thing I know was that I died, it was black, and then I woke up with hooves instead of hands.”
So you don’t know?
“No.”
I’m very convinced, Jesse…
“I- what? I told you, we have no magic there at all! If any, with all the magic here, the answer must be from this place instead of there! Can’t magic do interdimensional travels? I thought Twilight and co had done so with that crystal mirror thing and such?”
Magic is not all-capable, Jesse. There are strict rules you need to follow in magic theories. I’ll tell you several that works to establish my explanation.
Firstly, magic is akin to particles you can move around. Simple levitation is an example. A more complex example is how the soul itself is comprised of magic particles, and those can be edited to create new memories within a soul, although it was thoroughly banned for millenias.
Secondly, magic particles can be switched around with each other. Simple example is teleportation. A more complicated one is how one can open interdimensional portals towards multiple different universes and travel through one another.
Thirdly, magic works with itself. That means, magical organs only works in area where there are magic particles. Our hooves grabbing items is one such example. Pegasi’s small wings is another. Unicorn horns are another. The point is, magic is like air. Imagine a thermos, but in the middle of it is not air vacuum, but magic vacuum. Whatever item inside the thermos cannot be manipulated by magic, because there’s a layer of vacuum where magic cannot exert its effect through.
Sorry if I’m being a bit of a Twilight, I’m kind of passionate about my studies too, you see. No matter, are you getting what I’m getting on?
“…wow. I thought you said you’re not a scientist? You’re not even a unicorn, how are you that well versed in magic? Not even some unicorns I asked about magic like that.”
Well, I did get interested, and building magic-based engines do require study. As sad as it was, I’ll admit it is indeed useful to learn. Now, do you get what I’m getting at?
“No?”
Firstly, dreams are caused when your soul rearranged itself to create pleasant little worlds you can live in, detached from reality. Soul-based amnesia is also not unheard of, although very rare. It might be that your soul was rearranging itself in such a way for you to dream of this humans world, but then a bad factor caused it to stuck and lost memories. As a failsafe, it pulled your dreams in to fill that gap, and that caused you to remember yourself as a human instead of Berry Punch. Will you accept this explanation?
“That makes no sense! What are the odds of that, slim to none? I call nonsense on that one! I am human! No, I was human, but I am still Jesse Rogers and NOT Berry Punch. If any, I’m just borrowing her body is all! And I still need to find a way back!”
Would you listen to what I still have to say? I’m not asking you to believe, but just to listen.
“…fine, but you won’t move my mind. I know what I am, who I am.”
Yes, we have established that you are Jesse Rogers. Now, I had said that multi-dimensional travels are possible, yes?
“Yeah, I remembered your explanation. Wasn’t easy to forget when you did the impossible and explained it far better than even the snobs in that Gifted Unicorns school or something.”
Well, I thank you for the praise. Now, it would be a bit more convenient to say that you two switched bodies, and Berry Punch died as the human Jesse Rogers. If that’s the case, would you accept it?
“What...? I- I guess? But wouldn’t that be so sad for Berry?”
Exactly. You are a good pony yet, Jesse. Now, if that was the case, would you accept the explanation that there might be a portal or a connection that opened from this dimension to your human dimension?
“Hmm… yes, I could accept that.”
Shame, because that would still not be a viable explanation.
“Wait, what? Doc, please, don’t lead me around. I’m long overdue for a mental breakdown already. I want to go back human, to my family, and all that! Doc-“
Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Truly, I’m sorry. But will you still listen?
“Since I don’t have anything better to do just yet, fine. By all means, continue.”
Now, remember my thermos analogy?
“Yes?”
And didn’t you say human world don’t have any magic?
“…yes?”
Are you getting where I’m getting?
“…no?”
Goodness, you’re oblivious. Okay, if the human world have no magic, how can there be a portal in the first place? Magic needs magic particles to interact with one another. You cannot open a magical portal into a dimension where there are no magic particles around. Even IF you can do so, you cannot extract, swap, and or merge souls from that dimension. Why? Because there is no magic there. That human world acts like the vacuum in a thermos, and the human souls are the contents of that thermos.
“What if the connection opened directly, soul to soul?”
Oh, that isn’t possible. For a connection like that to occur, one must be Star Swirl himself, or the alicorns. Not only that, one must have a clear target for said soul link to happen. Without it, you cannot do anything like that.
“Okay, and your point is?”
It’s simply impossible to open a magic portal to a non-magical world. And as such, well, you… normally should be impossible.
“But somehow IT IS! I AM HERE! ME! JESSE ROGERS!”
Alright, Jesse. Although slim, happenstances do happen in certain circumstances. Can you prove that you’re not dreaming of a years long journey, only for yourself to be brought back into the real world, when you happened to have a memory gap in your soul, and so it patches itself with the memories of your dream instead?
“I- I can prove that!”
Then please do.
“…I can’t prove that…”
Thought so.
BUT!”
…but?
“Can you disprove it? Me being human and all?”
No, I can’t.
“Thought so”
BUT!
“…but?”
That’s not my job, that is yours. My job is to help you prove or disprove. After all, you’re the one in charge of yourself, Jesse Rogers, or Berry Punch, or whoever you feel like right now.
“You cheat!”
Hey, it’s my job to cheat around the works of pony psychology.
“Heheh, you’re right. But still, dreams are NOT that vivid. I can remember many details of my life! The phones, the tv, electronics, cars, trains, boats, everything! We have little boxes that lets everyone interconnects with each other from a system called the internet! Bet you don’t have that here!”
You’re right, we don’t. But there had been preliminary tests of magical devices that lets one talk to each other through it that displays everything directly in front of it, like a camera but realtime.
“So?”
So… at the end of the day, you have a great big imagination, Ms. Berry Punch, but it’s just a convenient extension of a technology we’re about to have.
“I am NOT Berry Punch! Uuugh! Let’s say I WAS Berry Punch, how would I even imagine something like a bipedal primate? All the other ponies here claimed that it was either a legendary beast miniaturized, or a thing out of my imagination. I’m getting crazy that everyone not wanting to even stop and imagine it for a second that it can be real!”
Admittedly, the concept of sapient primates walking on two feet, without tail, is pretty hard to believe. But for me, it is possible. Minotaurs walked on two hooves, after all. There are several mythical beasts similar in description after all, maybe the half-centaur? But I get why most ponies won’t entertain you. Barely anypony is interested in the topic of mythical beasts and theories of evolution, after all.
“Goddarnit. Okay, how would you explain a world without magic then? If I was Berry Punch, I would probably be your run-of-the-mill pony, not even capable of imagining a world without one such universal constant.”
Maybe not, but what of this… electricity you talked about? I mean, we know about electricity, but their generation is incredibly hard. It requires the correct amount of pegasi magic and cloud density for one to make a single bolt. The largest electric generator in Equestria is the one in Cloudsdale, and they only produce enough for an entire university. Tell me, how was electricity made in the human world?
“We use generators. The basic idea is using spinning forced magnetism from positive and negative charges for the electron to move in one direction. The more, larger, and more rapid the spin is, the more electron is discharged.”
Well, as much as I want to believe you, that sounds like a convenient replacement for magic. Call a non-magical world all you want, try explaining it with as little ‘magicky’ theories as possible, but without knowing the absolute utmost baseline of ‘why’, it might as well be magic regardless, don’t you agre-
“N- no! It’s not! It’s simple physics! You move the electrons in a system with induced magnetism of sorts, and then it will cycle within the system, creating electric voltage. From there, you can use the flowing electrons to power something out.”
And where does this… electrons came from.
“It’s already there!”
As does magic is already here everywhere in the air.
“Not that! Electrons are one of the key components of atoms, the smallest possibly building blocks of everything.”
Okay, and how is it that electrons can move from one atoms to the other, if it really is a key component?
“They can move because they’re like a cloud of balanced something, like a weighted dropper. If you place one more electron into a balanced atomic system, the atom will drop one electron out into the next closest atom with least resistance to electron movement.”
A cloud… And this will cycle on and on, getting faster or slower depending on the speed you want them to move, voltage yes?
“Yes! See, you get it!”
And how exactly are you going to start the chain process of moving the electrons in the first place?
“Magnetism. Magnets will induce an electron movement and it will eventually push on faster or slower depending on the voltage, amperes, watts, or something like that. I’m not exactly an engineer.”
No, that’s not what I meant. Let’s say, if the atom is like a weighted dropper that drops a single ball when another ball is added, what makes you sure that only a single ball can be ejected out? If you push a single electron into the cloud, it will be overly dense, so another atom has to go out. But what about the induction starter. If everything is already in neutral, you need a forced push of one more electron to overload that and start the ejection of electrons. But then, there will be a net of +1 electron in it, so it will have to be ejected out. If there is a net of +1 there, the inductor will have a loss of -1 electron, which is fatal, risking collapse of the atom. And then the inductor will need to take an electron from somewhere outside of the system, creating an unbroken chain of -1 electron loss.
“What?”
Yes. We use pegasi magic to control this and create an artificial electron, AE, to nudge the system. That AE will be used to stabilize the electron movements in the system whenever it needed it. AE is magic, it eventually ran back to magic. Electricity is part magic.
“That’s not… no, there are laws in place, like Faraday laws of magnetism and such.”
And that’s the problem, Jesse. It’s so convenient, isn’t it? There are laws in place so ‘it works’. There are natural laws that allows it. But in reality, at least here, it’s all part magic. Your world seems to just skip or gloss over that part very carefully and intricately so that it can be seen as a logical, reasonable, and non-magical. Twist it all you want, but it all leads back to magic in the end. That dream world of yours took the detour to make magic look like not magic, but in reality, it’s all magic.
“That’s not… no, that’s… huh? But, no, doc, you have to believe me that-“
I believe you, Jesse. I really do, the problem is not how your world differs from this one, it’s what’s the same that you have to look for.
“T- the.. the same?”
Yes. How about this, what language did you speak out there in your human world?
“English.”
Then how can I understand what you’re saying, and vice versa?
“I- we’re a connected dimension. A lot of things are the same but not.”
Again, too convenient. It’s like it’s just SOMEHOW this, SOMEHOW that. It’s too lazy of an explanation. Even the zebras have local languages different from Ponish, how is it that SOMEHOW, English is the same as Ponish, maybe with a bit different vocabulary. Don’t think I don’t realize how you’re using ‘everyone’, instead of ‘everypony.’
“I-“
Yes, we use ‘everyone’ too sometimes, but that is usually reserved for addressing a crowd of multiple specieses. That connects us to a new factor;
A pony verily despises the topic of meat from sapients, but you seem okay with it. Beef is what the older griffons call meat from cows. As we all know, cows are sapient, can talk and have feelings. At least, here they are… Jesse.
“I- I know that. But-“
They are not sapient there, correct?
“I- wha- huh? Just… how? Yes, it’s true they’re not sapient, but how?”
Again, convenient. Somehow, there are cows there like there are cows here, same name, same everything, but they’re not intelligent. To justify eating something sapient, one has to imagine them as not. What better way to do so than to legalize actual killing? Your world is full of holes to be poked on, Jesse, I hope you know that.
“It’s because you’re trying to poke a hole into it so there are holes! You have to believe me, doc, that humanity is real!”
So far, everything that has to do with Equestria had been so convenient. And what about the show, what was it called?
“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It’s a show about you guys, Equestria as a whole. I don’t know why, but your world is eerily similar to that.”
And you’ve never stopped for a second that it might be the reverse?
“…what?”
Think about it. This is the utmost biggest piece so far, Jesse. Don’t you think it’s a bit TOO convenient that a TV show about Equestria as a whole existing in that world, possibly one of your favourites even. You said it yourself that you watched it for nostalgia, with your friends. Don’t you think that it might just be your dream tying up this world to that of yours? Because lets face it, what are the chances of that one show ended up being your beloved show that you watch with your friends, and THEN being the last thing you saw before you ‘died’, and waking up as Berry Punch?
“I- but- that’s… that’s… no… No. No no no no, it’s a coincidence! I know I was human! I just… know it! You said it yourself, coincidences can happen, and thus, it happened!”
Yes, of course it coincidentally happened. And coincidentally, it follows the stories of Twilight and her group of friends. You know they wrote what happened during the entire time Twilight started moving into Ponyville, and then her adventures as the Element of Magic, then as an Alicorn, then as princess, and everything else. Oh, surely it coincides with that book as the basis for that show.
“What… what book?”
Only the highest selling book in three hundred years; Princess Twilight Sparkle: Her Life, Friends, Adventures, and Stories. You might find one in your house, or Berry Punch’s, as you claimed.
“No way… No… Doc, please! You have to believe me, I’m still telling the truth! I don’t care how coincidental it may seem, but I’m telling you the truth. I really am Jesse Rogers!”
Yes, you are.
“Doc, I- wait, what?”
I believe you are telling the truth.
“…why?”
Because you genuinely believe it. The problem is, have you ever sat down and think to yourself, that however improbable it is, the truth you believed is wrong?
“No… humanity isn’t wrong, it’s real. It’s real, it’s real!”
It is… and it is not. Maybe, maybe not. Still, you won’t change your opinion on this matter, will you?
“…no, no I won’t… no…”
Okay, then I shall not force you to do so. How about we move on another topic, I’m sorry if this one has been particularly heavy to you.
“I guess…It’s okay… I don’t know… Let’s move on.”
Okay, we will. Again, I’m sorry if it upsets you. The fact that you’re stable is a marvel to behold. Good job hanging there so far.
“Mhhmm…”
…So let’s say that you’re truly are Jesse Rogers, and not Berry Punch…
“…uh huh.”
What would you do now?
“What do you mean?”
Obviously, somepony will have to take the place of Berry Punch. I know that she existed before, albeit that might also be the work of magic. Maybe just somehow, SOMEHOW, literally everypony’s soul particles changed in such a way to accommodate your arrival, that we have memories of you when in reality you have just arrived… when exactly?
“Two weeks ago.”
Two weeks ago… and you took this long to come here and ask for help?
“No, I took this short to ask for help, mainly because I need to know what I need to do, especially since Berry Punch’s stock is getting thin.”
Alright, alright. I believe in random happenstances, however improbable it can me. Uhh, what was that saying again? ‘Whatever can happen, will happen’? Yeah, that sounds about right. Marephy’s Law, as it were.
“…heheh. We have a version of that. ‘Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.’ Oh God… I’m so not strengthening my case, aren’t I?”
You sure are, but let’s hold that off for now. I want to ask you, what’s your game plan from here on out?
“From here on out… I don’t know, really. I will need to research on how to get back home, but now I’m starting to doubt it. No thanks to you, doc, heheh.”
It’s what I do. You shouldn’t be doing that though. Doubt instils higher level thinking towards the direction you want to truly believe in, and shapes the truth of it, without needing confirmation from others. If you’re over that phase, you will be firm in your beliefs and will be able to move on, finding a compromise between the now, and your beliefs. You will emerge out of your depressed state of mind a fresh-minded thinker. So, game plan? At least, for now. Game plan changes, obviously. After all, no one can plan for life, only prepare.
“Oh, right. I will have to research how to get home, but that would probably take money. From this session, I get that I might need to continue Berry’s business. After all, money’s a good thing to have.”
That’s nice. Though, stop being such a drunkard, would you?
“I will. I have mostly drank away my culture shock, sorrows, and breakdowns anyways. I might need to cry myself to sleep a few more days, though. That, and several more bad dreams.”
That’s sad. May Luna bless your dreams, at least.
“Thanks.”
You’re welcome.
“Honestly… It has been quite enlightening, doc.”
I’m thoroughly please that that’s your opinion on our session today. Once again, know that I won’t force you to accept being either Jesse Rogers or Berry Punch, but would you at the very least think about it further?
“Maybe…”
Good, then we shall have a break. Next, we might need to get your identity back as Berry Punch, even if you’re not. Wait for me, and I’ll walk you into your house. We’ll search together.
“You’ll do that for me?”
Well, I did say I have the whole day for you. The princess had been pretty generous in their care for you.
“…wait, Twilight paid for the entire day?”
Pretty much, but even more. She knows that you need a lot of therapy. She paid for the entire day, but I agreed to help you for however long it is until you’re set on your identity.
“Really…? Umm… Thank you, doc. I really needed that. I’m just happy to vent.”
And I shall listen to it whenever you want. Oh, before we go, I will need some time to pack up. Will you wait?
“Sure, I’ll wait. What about the recording?”
Oh, just let it roll out. I can edit it later.
“Mmkay, I’ll be here.”
Good, be back in 15 minutes.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
“You’re done, doc?”
Sure, ready to go?
“Actually, can we extend this session a little bit more?”
Well, of course we can. That’s what I’m paid for, hahah! So, what do you need? Anything to say?
“It’s about what you say about reaching a decision, actually.”
Oh, you’ve reached a decision? So fast, too…
“Yeah, I think I have. I’ve used that 15 minutes wisely.”
Well, let’s hear what you have to say then. Good thing the recording wasn’t deactivated too, it will be a pain to set a new one and splice those together. Okay, let’s hear it.
“So, basically, you said that your job is not to convince whenever I’m Berry Punch or Jesse Rogers. You said that you’re helping me to find myself instead. You said that you’re not going to force me on any decision.”
Uh-huh?
“But the way you treated me, it really felt like you wanted to convince me on being Berry Punch instead of giving a fair chance on both Berry and Jesse.”
As much as I hate to say this, you’re partially correct. However, only partially. I wanted to lower your bias towards Jesse, just enough that you’re actually forced to think whether you really were an illusional Jesse, or you were a damaged Berry. The choice is still, in the end, up to you.
“Your reasons make much sense, how that world, Earth, was too convenient to be an actual construct that it borders on a cleverly constructed dream instead. The more I thought about it, it is actually too convenient indeed. Especially the show. It’s like it followed a template that’s already there.”
If that’s your final verdict, I shall take your word for it.
“However…”
However?
“I’m truly sorry, Doctor Rod, I think I’ve reached my conclusion already.”
Do explain, if it doesn’t bother you.
“No, not at all. I’m happy to talk, now that I am sure. If it truly was what you said, that Berry Punch, or possibly me, got just the right dream, with just the right content, in just the right time, to suffer just the right conditions, that I now identify as Jesse Rogers, then I might need to live a double life as both.”
Well, that’s a step back-
“No, wait. Just listen, will you?”
Okay, Jesse, I will.
“So, I figured I can’t lead a double life. Of course not, the ponies here know me as Berry Punch, but I know myself as Jesse Rogers. But we can’t have that. Instead, I have a plan that might work. It needs polish, but it might work.”
Oh?
“Firstly I will learn everything I can about Berry Punch. Talk to her friends, read her diaries and notes if there are, and maybe even continue her shop for a while. Her cutie mark isn’t just for show after all… And then, I will sell everything and move out of Ponyville, move out somewhere where no one… maybe I should use nopony from now on… where nopony knows or recognized the Berry Punch side of me. There, I will need to make a new identity. That identity will be the amalgamation of human me and Berry Punch.”
So, start a new life?
“Sort off. At least, that’s the temporary plan. But I have decided who I am!”
Oh, have you now? So, are you Jesse Rogers, or Berry Punch?
“I’m Jesse Rogers, through and through.”
Oh, really? I am… certainly surprised to hear this. What about Berry Punch’s body? What would she say about you taking her body out for a spin as somepony else?
“Well, from what I get, she’s a nice pony. She would understand. Besides, I can’t lie to myself. Even IF the memories are fake, it is what I have now. No use digging through memories lost. The least I can do is inform Berry’s friends of what happened and hope they understand that even IF I was Berry Punch before, I am not her anymore.”
So you’re saying, that you’re firm on your decision. You’re Jesse Rogers the Human, not Berry Punch the Earth pony?
“Yes, I identify as Jesse Rogers the human. I might take on a pony name later on, but I will always identify as a human-turned-pony. I don’t care whatever other ponies say, believe or not. I will not preach on it, because I don’t need other’s confirmation for it. I am firm in my decision, and I will act upon it without curbing anypony’s life around me.”
Heh… Heheh… Ohh, that’s rich! You… You stubborn little girl, I love you! Hahah!
Truly rich! I never would’ve thought that the theories are true!
“P-pardon?”
You! You identified as a human! You did not let go of your memories, and you kept on pushing with a firm belief. It took you only 15 minutes to decide that you’re once human, and will always be a former human inside!
“Well, yeah but… Doc, what are you-“
Oh! Ohh… sorry, heheh. Got a bit too excited. Well, you see, I have been waiting for this. The other had been too.
“H- huuuh? Y-you’re not going to-“
Oh no! Nononono! Don’t worry about anything, we’re not going to like, kidnap you or anything. No! In fact, it’s the opposite!
“What do you mean by opposite?”
Okay, truthfully, you see… I had made a bet with somepony else named Lyra Heartstrings, that if there's a next one, they will stay headstrong with their identity and such, like the first human I’ve met here. I believe there are others that are here, but they might be indoctrinated away, lost their sense of self, embraced their pony side, or probably just landed too far out of my reach, maybe even a different species altogether.
“Uhh… doc?”
I’m getting there. See, you aren’t the first human to arrive here, although you’re the first one I’ve seen in 14 whole years! I’ll admit, magic is a fickle thing, and the circumstances to pull a human into here is totally unknown, but they did. And you’re lucky, you’re not the first!
“Wait, really?! REALLY!”
Yeah, but tell me. We haven’t introduced ourselves, have we?
“Uhh, we have?”
No, we haven’t REALLY introduced ourselves. Come on, shake my hoof and introduce yourself.
“Ooookay? I- I'm Jesse Rogers, 24 years old former human woman... pleased to meet you?”
Please to meet you too, Jesse Rogers. My name is Piston Rod, Earth pony psychiatrist-slash-engineer.
But you can call me Mox.
Author's Note
Please inform me if there are tags I need to add/remove, and do suggest edits to improve my writing.
I've studied English for years now, but it's not my first language. Do pardon any mistakes.
