Fallout Equestria: Wasteland Warriors

The meeting room of the four stars head quarters was occupied by 6 ponies, each sitting at a large table. The pony at the end of the table was flashing lights, head of the marketing department for the studio. Behind him was a large line chart being shown by a projector.

"Thank you for showing up." Flashing lights stated. "As you all know, Wasteland Warriors has been selling really well in Equestria, and even in some of the neighboring lands as well."

Flashing lights then levitated a rod and pointed it at the line graph.

"This line way up here are the total sales in Equestria, following behind is the Zebra empire. Below those two are the other nations. The dragonlands and Yakyakistan are where the most are sold of those nations. However, there is one demographic that isn't on the list, and that's because we haven't been selling well there."

Flashing lights then changed the slide to show the same graph, only a new line had been added to it, which was far below the other lines. In fact, there was a huge gap between the new line, and the one that represented the Hippogriff population.

"This line represents the amount of sales we have on earth. As you can see, we have more players living near mount aries than on earth. Fortunately, I have called in a marketing expert that should help us in selling more copies to humans. He should be here right about now."

Almost on cue, a man wearing a business suit came inside the room, and took a seat near the front of the table.

"Greetings everyone. Thank you for having me in today. I'm Mitchel O'Brian."

Flashing lights returned to his seat and shook hands with O'Brian.

"Now I see that your game isn't selling very well on earth, and I noticed that there are a couple of things that you can do to improve it's appeal. First off, and I think that this is the best thing you can do, you need to establish a mascot."

All the ponies looked at each other in confusion.

"We already have a mascot." One of the ponies said. "Little Pip."

"No. No no...." O'Brian said. "I'm not talking about your main character. In fact most successful mascots aren't the main characters at all. In fact, let me show you some examples."

O'brain then took out a folder and opened it, revealing several printed pictures. Each picture had a particular character from a human made franchise on it. Examples included Baby Yoda from the Mandalorian, Tiny Groot from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pikachu from Pokemon, and, to one ponies mild disgust, a minion from Despicable me.

"What do all these have to do with increasing sales?" One pony asked.

"If there is anything I have learned in marketing, it's that the average human will always fall for the small cutesy character. You don't even need to make a new one either! I've seen your material, and you already have perfect candidates!"

One pony raised an eyebrow. He had just looked at a picture of Olaf from Forzen, and was not impressed.

"And.... Who would that be, exactly?" He asked bluntly.

"Well I noticed you have this one green pony with the wings and rags. Has a similar color palette to Baby Yoda."

"Murky?" Another pony asked." You think we should make him our mascot?

"He has nearly all the physical characteristics that make him appealing to the average human consumer, he's small and would make great merch, plus he is green, green seams to be a very appealing color to humans." O'Brian said.

"Although he is a little bit dirty and anorexic, but I'm sure that's an easy fix for your department to implement."

All the ponies in the room just looked at O'brian with a puzzled expression.

"Now you are saying we need to change his appearance?" One pony said. "You are aware that the reason he is like that is cause he was a born slave who..."

"Whoa whoa. Stop right there." O'brian interrupted.

"Forget what I said earlier about making him a mascot. Having slavery won't go over very well with specific demographics back on earth, it's a pretty sensitive topic, especially in the US."

All the ponies just looked at each other even more confused.

"You make it sound like humans will have a problem with several of the games themes. And if we were to remove several of them just to appease the human market, it would no doubt upset a large portion of our existing fanbase."

"Oh no no. You don't need to remove the themes entirely." O'brian clarified. "It's just not a good idea to put it at the forefront, as it might turn off alot of buyers."

The rest of the table seamed alright with that suggestion.

"Now back on track with the mascot. I see you have another character who will fit the role without causing much controversy. Care to tell me more about the pink pony with the yellow hazmat suit?" O'brian asked.

"That would be Puppysmiles. She is a Canterlot ghoul child who embarks on a quest to find her mother after surviving a megaspell that leaves her home city....."

"Hold up." O'brian interrupted. "This is a child who goes on a quest by herself in a post apocalyptic world?"

One pony rolled his eyes.

"That would be correct." Another pony stated.

"It's.... Not really a good idea to have a character at such a young age go on by herself in such a dangerous world. I mean humans used to create stories like that back in the day, however these days we are much more sensitive to the idea of children without chaperones."

"How does any of this help us grow a market on earth." One pony asked. "It sounds like you are just giving us reasons why humans wouldn't like our game, plus you are talking as if they are really bitter and easily offended."

"Well.... You see...." O'brian stammered. "On paper you have alot of selling points to your game. However when it comes to the background to the characters that we previously discussed, it might be best to avoid using them in marketing material for now."

One pony looked down at a piece of promotional artwork that he had been making prior to the meeting. Which showcased all 20 playable characters lined up next to each other each doing their own poses. Despite what O'brian had just said, he was not going to adjust it for the sake of appeasing whatever overly offended humans he was referring to.

"Care to tell us what these, Selling points are?" Mentioned another pony.

"Alright then. I did hear that one of your characters is a lesbian, is that true?" O'brian asked.

"Several, actually." One pony answered. "LittlePip, the one on the front cover of the game happens to be one. We also have Blackjack and Glimmer light if they help."

"Ah perfect!" O'brian exclaimed. "Now you will want to be careful about how you present them. While several countries on earth are open to LGBT characters, others are not."

"Here we go again....." One pony muttered.

"Now when it comes to the countries that are Pro LGBT, the cover on the box is fine. In-fact, I would recommend going on Twitter to tweet about the sexuality of the characters you mentioned, particularly in June during pride month."

"But we don't have a twitter." One pony muttered.

"Ah now that's the first step. Social media is a great marketing tool. Just be sure not to tweet anything that might cause anyone to get offended though. Though if you do, you might have to come out with an apology, several in fact."

"Apologize multiple times? Are you telling us that we have to beg for forgiveness over and over again as to not lose customers?" One pony asked looking more annoyed than curious.

"Not completely, just enough so the message gets across." O'brian claimed.

"Also going back to the topic of LGBT characters, you will need to make several adjustments to your game in order for it to be properly sold in specific countries. In it's current state, Wasteland warriors will be just fine for the US, Canadian, and west European markets."

"Fucking Finally...." One pony muttered.

"However, other countries will not be OK with how the game is presented. Lets go over China for example, one of the biggest markets on earth currently. Lots of things will need to be changed in order for it to be sold there, particularly removing LGBT characters, all traces of skeletons, anything questioning government..."

"Stop... Just... Fucking... Stop...." Interrupted one pony.

"I get that you are trying to help us gain a larger playerbase, but all you have suggested is Change this, change that, don't have this in the game, make this more or less prominent. I was hoping you would be able to connect us with an advertising agency or something similar. But instead you seam to want us to change the core game just because a couple of humans are too damn judgmental."

"I hate to say this, but I kind of agree..." Another pony at the table claimed. "We have managed to get players in several places outside Equestria. Even the most reclusive places like the Dragonlands and YakYakistan have been open to us and we haven't had to change anything about our game. Yet you humans always seam to be the most racist, homophobic, and downright bigoted species we have ever met!"

The other ponies in the room readied themselves to hold back the one who had just shouted and slammed his hoof on the table. Of course he calmed down.

"O'brian, maybe your recommendations aren't fit for our company." The pony at the head of the table said. "I'm sure that the humans have different ways of doing business, but at this time we cannot take your advice. Thank you for coming in."

"You're welcome. Sorry things didn't work out. You are more than welcome to contact me anytime though."

O'brian pulled out contact cards and passed them to everypony at the table before he went out the door. The ponies took a brief look at the cards before they put them away most not having looked at them for more than 3 seconds.

"Well that was a bust. Now what? Clearly most humans want nothing to our game if O'brains advice is anything to go by."

Everypony looked at each other and began contemplating new ideas. Although some were considering just pulling the plug on expanding to human markets.

"Hold on a minute..." One mare said. "How many of you know about the game Amoung us?"

"You mean that game my son won't shut up about?" Another mare replied. "Yeah I know it. Mostly cause he sees those dumb spacemen in almost everything he sees."

"Ok.... Well anyway, that game came out in 2018, despite what most creatures claim. It wasn't until 2020 however when the game went mainstream. And I think I know why that is."

"Really?" Another pony asked. "Please do tell!"

"Hello...! Everybody my name is Markiplier and..... I can't believe I am actually doing this.... Yep, you read the title of this video, no this is not an April fools joke. We are actually playing, Wasteland warriors... The pony developed hero shooter from four stars... Why you may ask? Well cause I was sponsored to play! You're probably all tired of seeing everyone endorse raid shadow legends for the 40th time, so here i am playing this... Maybe it will be good, maybe not, but either way I'm getting paid!"

Markiplier loaded up a playlist and immediately got into a match. He was presented with a loading screen with the maps name and look displayed.

"Chapel? Is this some sort of religious estate? Do ponies even have religion? I mean I have heard somethings about treating their ruler like a god but that just sounds like ancient world superstition."

The game loaded and the character select screen popped up.

"Oh boy I'm getting a real Overwatch vibe with this hero screen... Wait a minute...."

Markiplier moved his cursor over Deus.

"Yeesh.... So much edge in one character. It's almost like he is staring right into your soul about to pounce and bite your head off. Then you got this guy..."

The cursor was moved over barb.

"Oh god.... Is this Jeff the killer in pony form? I wonder how many people he has stabbed to death with that knife of his. Actually come to think of it he might be a cannibal. I mean that would make sense being a post apocalyptic world."

The mouse then moved over puppysmiles, who smiled at the camera happily.

"Pfftt..... He he.. Ok, so we go from this..."

Markiplier moved the mouse over Barb before going back to puppysmiles.

"To this. You go from one extreme to the other and it's like a night and day difference. One moment you have murder robot, the next you have cannibal pony, then.... cutesy pony in a hazmat suit. So many of these choices are just so out there you have to wonder what kind of ideas the developers were throwing around the design meetings."

Markiplier then looked over a few more characters, but most he didn't stay on for more than 3 seconds.

"I haven't even selected my character yet and already things are weird."

Eventually Deus was selected and Markiplier spawned in. His attention was drawn to a very high detailed poster on the wall.

"What is this? Some cyberpunk city... Hoofington Rises? The heck? Why is it all green and glowy? You're telling me ponies built this thing? It's like they took Mountain Dew and just spilled it all over the structure..."

Mark then followed a brown Pegasus with an anti material rifle outside where he was his with rain.

"Whoa this rain is pretty good I never knew that...."

His sentence was interrupted when we was killed by an EMP grenade that was thrown at him.

"Oh of course I stop to admire the detail and I get blown up."

After several minutes, Markiplier had a good idea of the general game flow and how it worked. He wasn't planning on taking the game very seriously before he started playing, however he found himself legitimately enjoying the game as it progressed.

"Thought that this was just going to be some cheap pony game but no, there is actually alot of substance here. OH! Flying ponies shooting lasers at me! Well say hello to duel cannons!"

Several moments in the session were caught for the video, and Markiplier got more than he had hoped for with his sponsorship deal.

"Alright I admit, I thought that this was just going to be some dumb gameplay shenanigans video and that was really only half true. This is legitimately one of the best hero shooters I have played in the genre hell maybe even surpassing Overwatch. Shoutout to Fourstars for hooking me up with this game. If you want to check it out there will be a link in the description below. Which I especially hope you do as this game has serious potential to grow. Like and Subscribe and I will see you in the next video!"

Footnote: Patch 1.0.3 released.

Deus can no longer be one shot killed by one of Puppysmiles EMP grenades if Dues has more than 75% health.