Cybernetic ghost of Christmas past
After the changeling invasion was thwarted peace returned to Equestria. After several weeks, all damage done by the bug like creatures had been repaired and most ponies stopped worrying about another attack. But Twilight Sparkle was one of those ponies.
“Girls, I’m telling you the changelings will attack again! And the next time it happens we need to be prepared, that’s why I want you all to help me research them so we can learn their weaknesses” said a frustrated Twilight. She looked at her friends with large pleading puppy dog eyes; try as they might they couldn’t resist helping. After they all submitted they began to look through every single book in Twilight’s enormous tree library.Fluttershy was in charge of looking through books on animals, Pinkie sat on the floor with a pile of cook books around her searching for new recipes and not being very helpful. Rarity was looking through history books with Twilight while Applejack and Rainbow Dash were hoof wrestling for some odd reason. This went on for about three hours until the mares heard a loud crash.
Slowly and in unison all of the ponies in the library turned their heads to face the source of that noise. Even Spike walked down the stairs to see what was going on. Standing in the doorway was a strange metal creature. It was bipedal one of its hands resembled scissors, on its head was a metal Mohawk and its mouth looked like a ducks bill. The creature just stood there in the broken door way for several awkward seconds of silence.Finally Spike decided to be the first one to speak up.
“Um, who are you?” the young dragon asked
“I am the Ghost of Christmas past, I have come to tell you how the changelings came to be” said the ghost. Suddenly he raised his metallic scissor hand and a fog rolled in from out of nowhere. “Thousands of years ago there was no Equestria, there weren’t even ponies. There was only dirt and bugs; lots of dirt and bugs. The bugs formed into two tribes one was ruled by sir Santa of Claws and the other was a democracy”.
“That’s not how it happened!” challenged the purple librarian.
“Yes it is. You’re just jealous that you aren’t from the future like me.” At this Pinkie stepped forward.
“I thought you said were ‘the ghost of Christmas past’?”
“No I am a robot. I mean I am a ghost! You were trying to trick me weren’t you!?”
Rainbow face hoofed. “I’m so confused. How can you be a ghost and a robot at the same time?”
“I am both because In the future robots will win the war of ponies versus machine. Because in the future the past has occurred” said the cybernetic ghost. The ponies took a minute to look at each other then back at the strange machine then back to themselves and finally back to the machine one last time.
“Um I don’t mean to be rude darling are you sure that you’re ok?”
“I am better than you will be… tomorrow.”
“Whatever do you mean?” the machine sighed at hearing Rarity’s question. Once again he raised his hand.
“Thousands of years ago the bugs under the command of Sir Santa has exterminated their bug like foes. Why? Because they are bugs and bugs are stupid. After his victory over bugs Santa of Claws set out to turn his foe’s corpses into toys buy it didn’t work but they were tiny insects so he dumped his failed toys into a mass grave. That grave happens to be right were your shop is white one” it paused. “Do you remember that Christmas?”
“What? No, I don’t even know what Christmas is.” The fashion pony confessed. “But maybe you cou-”
“Thousands of years ago...” the fog rolled in yet again and everypony rolled their eyes. “After the great red ape had spent several years in Hawaii on vacation he was visited by a war like race of elves from the red planet. He enslaved them immediately and forced them to make toys using their galactic elven technology called ‘forevermoresantionados’. He gave these toys to his insect followers but they couldn’t use them. How could they? They were merely ants with their tiny ant brains.” Twilight snorted in annoyance and turned back to her friends.
“Girls group huddle”. They complied and soon a circle was made with the ponies and Spike all facing inward. Twilight was about to speak up again when she noticed that the “ghost” was in the huddle too.
“What? Am I not allowed?” They all shook their heads. “Alright then I’ll just stand over here” he walked away and stood in a corner of the library pinching his scissor hand open and closed just staring at them.
“Okay… now that that’s over with we need to talk about what we’re going to do with him?”
“This one’s nuttier than a pecan pie Twi” said Applejack. Rainbow and Rarity nodded their heads in agreement.
“Applejacks right, this thing is crazy. You should write to the princess and have her deal with it! That way we can resume napping.”
“Rainbow weren’t we supposed to be researching changelings?” asked Fluttershy.
“Oh yeah huh.”
“Spike write a letter to Princess Celestia and tell her we need her here.” The little dragon gave the group a thumbs up and ran upstairs to write the letter. Several seconds later he returned to the huddle. There the group waited for Celestia to show up. They didn’t have to wait long for the room was filled with a bright light. The light vanished and the solar princess stood in the center of the room. Twilight and the others coughed and waived her over, how she hadn’t noticed the robot yet was beyond them.
“Princess do you see that robot over there?” Celestia looked over her shoulder and saw the robot ghost and gave him a warm smile.
“Yes my student. What about him?”
“He’s crazy! He should be locked away. just look at him! He has all these sharp edges and blades, he broke my house and he won’t stop talking about some ape called ‘Sir Santa of Claws’. Can you deal with him please?”
“Do you all feel this is for the best?” Rarity nodded, Fluttershy gave an incredibly meek “yes”, Rainbow and Applejack both voiced their opinions on the robot. It was then that they realized that Pinkie was gone. They looked back to the robot and found him to be engaged it yet another story with Pinkie.
“…And that is how babies are made. For robots.” That was the last they would ever hear from him because Princess Celestia sent him to the moon so he couldn’t bother anypony anymore.