DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

So, when we finally got in the store, which took a while, because Pinkie kept stopping and asking what things were, I grabbed a buggy and headed thru the slidey-automatic-automated-whatever-door-whatever-thing.

"Ooh, what's that? And-- *gasp*!! Those doors moved on their own! Hey-y-y-y, what does this thingy do?" she said as she zipped, and I think I literally mean she teleported from one place to the next, leaving a trail of pink, hot pink, and Caucasian behind her, around the store. The last thing she grabbed was one of those things, where when you tip it over it goes "Mwaaaaaaaaa", and it's supposed two be imitating a cow. You know those? No? Well, learn about it! She tipped it over.

"Mwaaaaaaaaa!" it went. She giggled.

She tipped it over again.

"Mwaaaaaaaaa!" it went, again. This was going to get old. Fast. She shook it. Great. Fan-fuckin'-tastic!

"Mwaa-Mwa-Mw-Mwaaaaaaaaa! Mwaaa-M-Mwaaaa-Mwaaaa-Mwa-Mwaaaaaaaaa!" it went

"Pink-- I mean, Taylor. You're making a scene"

"Oh, am I? Heehee! Well'p, le's get goin'" she giggled

"It's not funny, Taylor. Anyway, if you promise not to jump all over, squeal, touch things, and make a fool of yourself, I might just take you to the bakery" I tempted

"You have a bakery here?!?!" she gasped, realized the rest of what I said, blushed, and calmed down. "I mean, that would be awesome, thank you!" she corrected herself and gave me a hug, the kind where her left foot's in the air.

"Dude, you are re-he-hed! I mean redder than red!" said Harry as we walked on. I guess getting hugged would do that kind of thing to me. Same thing happened when my female friend (a friend who happens to be a girl, not a girlfriend) Caliope gave me a hug. (Random Author's Note: True story, and I didn't even bother to change Caliope's name!). We continued to trot along very tsoukou. (Tsoukou is of Greek origin, is pronounced soo-koh, and means "slowly, at one's own pace") I realized Rainbow must be miserable. All this moving so slow, no ability to fly, the only need for speed she'll be getting in a while is possibly playing the video game online. Damn, she wasn't going to be happy for long. If she was even happy now. I walked up to her

"You look miserable. You're bored with this world, aren't you?" I surmised. Then, I added quickly: "It's okay if you are"

"Yes" she sighed. "It's not you guys, besides Simon and the occational awkward side comment or two from Price, I think you guys are awesome. It's just that... Just that..." she trailed off

"You miss the ability to fly and travel at Mach speeds?" I finished helpfully

"Exactly!" she exclaimed.

"I know something that can help. I know how, so I can teach you, and I could get robozombie-Grandpa's help, too!" I encouraged as an idea went ding fresh outta th' oven

"What? What?!" she asked impatiently

"I could teach you how to drive" I said coolly. Her expression went from excited to confused.

"Drive?" she asked

"Yeah, sure!" I said.

Then I realized she had no idea what I was talking about. "You remember the car? I could teach you how to use one. They go really fast"

"Really?" her face brightened up.

"Really. Although I may not be old enough to drive, I can still teach you how" I continued

"Jeez, how old d'ya have ta be around here?" she muttered. That's right, they still thought we were adults. I gulped.

"Hey, what's this stuff?" Pinkie pointed to the... Oh god, the meat!

"Get-away-from-there-you-don't-wanna-see-that!" I said so quickly it got jammed into one sentence. I remembered back to Doctor Whooves and The Assistant episode one: Ponies are of equine origin, so they'd be herbivores, and they sure wouldn't cannibalize something so close to their own species. That meant, as humans, they'd be vegetarians! "Let's take them to the Vegetarian Aisle!" I suggested

"Who's Vegatairen Ayel?" mispronounced Pinkie. And misunderstood.

"You guys were herbivores, meaning you only ate plants--"

"We know what a herbivore is!" urged Rainbow impatiently

"--so you didn't eat meat. That kind of human is called a 'vegetarian'" I finished

"And there's a whole aisle in the store dedicated to serve thier ways" added Harry

"And they have tofu, which, by my calculations, is the equivalent of feran!"

"Did you just say calculations?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You don't calculate, you guess"

"Do you mean me in specific or people in general?"

"You in specifi-- Look, let's just move on" he shook his head

"There's something I want to ask you about, Harry" I whispered. "Why did they turn into humans? Shouldn't they be the colour of thier hide?"

"You're right. Rainbow isn't exactly cyan anymore" he agreed

"Cyan! That's the colour! I knew it wasn't blue!" I realized

"Cyan is technically a shade of blue" he corrected

"Everything has a shade nowadays" I muttered

"Hey, turn left!" directed Harry. "We're here" he finalized as we turned

"Tofu bacon!" I shouted. "Skim milk for some reason! And, ooh, pistachios!"  I looked at the items around me. "Where do you think they keep the Maggi Hackbraten?"

"You mean that delicious German meatloaf your dad makes?" asked Harry

"Yup!" I said with a smile

"Lets grab some veggies and vegetarian items, the Hackbraten mix, and stop by the bakery and ditch this joint! Spike, Trinity, Taylor, each grab something you want. I personally want some bacon, and it being tofu can't make it bad!" I planned. Rainbow got some ham, Spike actually got pistachios, and Pinkie got some tofu beef jerky. Beef jerky? I didn't know they mad that in tofu. I grabbed the Maggi Hackbraten seasoning mix, which they were almost out of, and Pinkie wanted a brownie. It looked delicious, but it was hers. We paid, (Mama-zombiebot was with us, remember?), loaded up the car, and drove home. Pinkie showed Rainbow how to buckle up, and Spike asked about diamonds.

"Where can a guy get some diamonds?" he asked.

"It's not physically possible for humans to eat diamonds" I explained. He groaned and held his stomach.