DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

That was the first thing I noticed wrong. The next thing I noticed wrong is that I was alone in bed. The next thing was that, besides me, AJ and Simon were the only people in the room. The next thing: It was five in the morning. The last thing? I had no pants on, my hand was down... there, and my hand was sticky. Shit! I'd never, never, never masturbate with so many women in the house. And I didn't even remember it! But I did dream about it.

As you may remember, (RAN: This was brought up in the first part) I have a sleep disorder. Everything I dream is either a nightmare or relevent, such as: I have a dream about holding a hiest and then the next day I steal a Reader's Digest. Well, last night I dreamed about having sex with... Well, let's not speak of that right now. And I woke up, all jacked out! (RAN: "All jacked out" is a slang term meaning "masturbated until produced semen and falling asleep") I tried to find my pajama pants, they were on the ground. I quickly and stealthily put on my pants and flailed out of bed. I turned to see a better view of AJ standing over Simon.

"What's go'n' on 'ver 'ere?" I asked groggily. AJ turned around, smilin' real big. Simon stood up. He had a wet rag on his face, and he looked miserable. I realized today was the "Simon's Weird Punishments Day", a day to go down in history.

"Was a wet rag really necessary?" he screeched

"Boy, dis is your punishment day. Our redemption day. For all the horrible things you've done to us. Me, Harry, Price, and Tyler" (RAN: Tyler is a character that's going to be brought up a lot more. He will be modeled after my fellow brony and friend Tyreese. Tyreese is a good guy, I trust you'll like his character Tyler more) I explained. He mumbled and wandered to the bathroom. AJ firmly stopped him.

"Nuh-uh, buddy colt. You ain't goin' nowhere" she said, voice coated in pure, ironic playful hatred (RAN: "Playful hatred" is a slang term for "faux hate, faking hatred to scare or joke around". In this case, ". This odd name originates from the act of jacking off, seeing as you do jack off with your dominant hand, in most cases) a light lick. Yecch! Salty!

Don't get me wrong, I've masturbated with company before (RAN: True story) and three times as much otherwise. I used to do it every night (RAN: Almost true story, my sleep disorder, which is not the same one as is in the story, sometimes requires me to jack off because I'm not tired enough. I'd rather have to jack off for two hours so I can go to sleep than get no sleep at all) but this was a different scenario. I got in the shower.

The water was scalding at first, but I quickly got used to it. After a solid to minutes standing in the water, I began to wash myself down. Focusing mainly on the hand in which unspeakable things happen (RAN: "The hand in which unspeakable things happen" is another slang term meaning... Aw, fuck, you get the idea) and just working from there. Afterwards I dressed and went down for breakfast.

Pinkie was making cupcakes for breakfast. I was going to protest, but then I remembered back to those faithful words of Spencer Shay (RAN: I watch iCarly. Deal with it):

"Don't say: 'Pie? For breakfast?" Say: 'Pie for breakfast! Yay!'" But then again, we were having cupcakes. Eh, close enough.

Pinkie? Wh't're ye doin?" I scrathed the back of my head. She pranced around the kitchen. "It's five in the morning"

"Five thirty-eight, actually" she beat some eggs into a bowl and poured it into a pot. Damnit! Does everybody already know how to read and write? I sighed and moved to the TV room across the hall. Sure as stone, they were all asleep. I stubbed my toe on the TV frame, ran into a table, and the two coasters, cup of pens, assorted newspapers, half-empty glass cup orange juice, and toy car fell to the floor in a loud "Cluahbhbshfiaaadnfcnnnnfikoaqpakdajdjdbhasbsbsbsbssssskskssk tinlk odododododdod kninini dinklatink!!!"

"Shit!" I half whisper-shouted/half grunted and fell to the floor, and I landed next to a pile of assorted things from on the table I knocked over. I took a pen to the back and a peice of glass to the face. No arrows in the knee, thankfully. (RAN: Whilst he didn't write this chapter, the arrow to the knee thing Henry put in) Of course that woke everyone up. Fluttershy went into a fit of "OmiCelestiaOmiCelestiaOmiCelestia"s when she noticed the gaping cut gushing out blood from my chin.

"What is that stuff?!" Rarity asked, disgusted

"Blood" I groaned and covered the wound with my hand. "Pinkie! I could use a load'a napkins!"

"Wait, blood isn't supposed to leave the body, unless... Damo, what magic spell protects humans?" she queried quickly. She then began to pace.

"Um, Twilight? Hate to break it to ya, but up until the point of which you spelled Treven's grandparents there hasn't been any magic on Earth" informed Price. Twilight stopped dead in her tracks.

"No magic? No fucking magic?" she inherited the word from us. It somehow fit her. "Hey, that feels good. No wonder you use those words so often"

"That's beside the point, Twilight. You may very well be the third person to do magic" said Other Harry. He all turned to him and looked at him funny. I even pulled a rubber face.

"Third person?" Other Me asked

"Penn and Teller!"

"That's eye tricks and cleverness, no magic"

"Whatever, it's inexplicable and awesome, that's magic to me!"

"Guys!" I chimed in. "Moving on! I'm bleeding profusely from the chin, here!"

"Here's your napkins!" Pinkie skipped in the room. She took one look at my blood and looked worried. Not scared, not confused, but worried. "How'd you start bleeding?" she looked up at me. Damnit, Pinkie!! Why do you have to know everything already?

"How do you know what blood is? How, well, all this? You seem to know more than you should"

"Well, I used to work with one'f the smartest guys I know!"

"Price? Harry's the smartest of us!" I said. He was, Price second, me last. (RAN: Actually, it goes, from smartest to stupidest, using the real names of my closest friends: Darcy, Calliope, Ciara, Henry, Tyreese, Gaven, Nick, Pace, Gracynn, Shawna, Daniel Ozaki; not the Daniel from Germany, his sister Megan Ozaki, Henry's younger brother Ryan, Me, and Robert and Sam)

"Well, Price showed me a lot. How to read, how to write, he even showed me about humans, how they work, and how 'no magic is present on this hell bound world', that's what he says" she explained. "The way that came up is that he slipped and banged his head on the stove. Realy gory"

"Yes, well I'm losing blood here. Can I get five or so napkins?" I asked. She handed me seven. I pressed then against the wound. "I'd clean it up, but AJ has a slave-for-a-day. Simon!"

"I don't have to answer to you!" he called back

"Yes y'all do! Get yer ass down here" AJ called. Then quieter: "Twi's right. That does feel good"

"Fine, coming" he called back. This was going to be good. Simon faints at the sight of blood. And that, is exactly what he did.

I had to keep myself from laughing. I know, that probably makes me a bad person. And I would've gushed a bit more blood out. Of course, no matter how it sickened him, Simon still sopped the blood up. And swept up the remains of the glass and table, the table broke, and the remnants of what fell off it. I put a bandage, and not a Band-Aid, either, a fucking bandage, on the cut. (RAN: That story was actually based on an actual event. I don't know the two are similar. Once I was doing the dishes, and I was washing a wine glass. I had my sponge inside, and I slid on some stray dishwater on the floor. The wine glass did not shatter, but I think "exploded" is a better term. Anyway, I got a piece of glass lodged in my knuckle. I cleaned up the blood, we did use a Band-Aid, and it happened in a kitchen) I got on the computer. I checked my e-mail and my Facebook. It had been ages since I was on Facebook.

I then went to play Happy Wheels then. I do have an account, but I barely make level s anymore. (RAN: Lie. I still make them all the time) I decided to put on some Slipknot. For some reason I was in a "Vermillion Part 2" mood. After that I simply decided that wasn't kickass enough. Wait! The perfect song! Especially for Happy Wheels. I kept with the Slipknot vibe, but played their everything else. Vermillion parts 1 and 2 are their only really mellow songs. I played thier song "People=Shit". Because they usually do. (RAN: Those are words to live by) While I killed people in some corey1873 levels, Simon vacuumed. While I was in the level editor, he stood and held AJ's drink. Then I had a great idea. A mean, horrible person's idea, but an idea. I had to go to the bathroom.

"Hey, Simon! Come with me" I called. As he walked in, I pissed all over the toilet seat. I zipped up my pants and said "Clean that up"

I waited till out the door to cringe and realize I had zipped a giant part of my pubic hair in my pants. I fixed it and got back on the computer.

I must've been on there for hours. It was lunch by the time I got off. Mama had boughten a Papa Murphy's pizza. Twilight had apparently switched my grandparents from Robo-Zombie back to Hate-Republican. I love my grandparents the way they are. No matter how rude and unreasonable thier views are. It was cheese. That's okay, I love cheese. I especially love parmesan. (RAN: True, all of it. From the part about my grandparents to the parmesan) Scootaloo really liked pizza. The fact that we were the basic only ones eating the large I started, she got really close to me so we could share. That's the closest a girl has ever gotten to me, 'sides Calliope. (RAN: Untrue. I've been kissed. And I'm not talking about my mom, 'cuz it'as on the mouth)

"Thish ish good. Whajyoo cull et mmgen?" she said thru a mouth full of pizza

"Pizza" I responded

"Can I have some?" screeched Simon as he walked in the room

"You ain't gettin' no food today" seethed AJ. For a 267 pound thirteen, well, he was fourteen by then, year old. You see, Simon was held back in school a year, and we were in Equestria for a year, so I was thirteen and he was fourteen. (RAN: Sam really was held back a year. But, I did not, in fact, spend a year in Equestria. So, I'm still twelve and he's thirteen)

"Double negative" mumbled Twilight. Geez.

"Grammar Nazi" mumbled Other Price back. Double geez.

"Shillings! Now not! Euros! Is now!" Other Me suddenly exclaimed in a Gumby voice. A Gumby isn't a green jelly guy in this case, but it's a dude with a towel on his head and rain boots who talks like an idiot. It's from Monty Python's Flying Circus.

I turned to him and plainly demanded: "Shut up"

"So, can I sit?" moaned Simon

"No" said AJ harshly

"What can I do then?" he continued to whine. She thought it over.

"You can refill my drink" she decided. Simon sighed and walked into the kitchen. A few minutes later Simon walked in. The liquid in the cup was not the orange soda I recommended and Simon poured earlier, but a green-ish colour. Mountain Dew most likely. I liked Mountain Dew, but when AJ took a sip, she took such a double take that her ponytail went flying over her head, sending her hat to the floor.

"The hay is this shit?!" she screamed and splashed the liquid in his face. She chased him to the kitchen and I followed. "Pour me a new drink!" she demanded. Simon shook his head.

"No. I've been treated like shit all day" Simon screeched. AJ karate kicked him. Did I ever bring up the giant glass sliding door that took up most of the back kitchen wall? No? Well, Simon went flying thru it.

Author's note: Sorry this took so long to put up! I was in Florida, and I got really sick after the flight. So I just now had the time to put up this chapter. I had it written before I went to Pensacola in the first place, just was grounded and was. How did I write it, you ask? Email on my phone!

Well, as my two biggest fans would say:

:scootangel: and NOW ONWARDS TO ADVENTURE!

-Treven DH out