DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

Authors Note: This finale is actually a collection of short chapters that make up the finale

PART ONE: SIMON THRU THE GLASS

He layed on the porch, and I heard someone screaming. I turned to see that it was Rarity, Sweetie Belle, Twilight, and Rainbow in unison, all with looks of pure horror on their faces. Applejack just looked as if she were millions of miles into space, I guess thinking about what she had done. Pinkie began to cry, you know her. Scootaloo began running around the kitchen franticly. Applebloom, Fluttershy, and Spike stayed in the TV room and cowered. All the Harry's, Price's, and Me's just stood there, mouths agape. Me and Twilight gathered around Simon's body. (RAN: Is "gathered" the right word?) I put my ear (RAN: If this were real life, I'd've used my left ear, I'm temporarily deaf in the right)to his chest to check if he was breathing.

"What are you doing?" yelled Twilight

"Checking to see if he's breathing" I explained

"But you only stop breathing if..."

"It's harder than that here, Twilight" (RAN: That's what she said)

"Oh, yes, no spell. Please tell me he's breathing"

"I... Can't tell, I, should... Check, his... Pulse" Sure as stone, he had a pulse. "He has a pulse" Everyone sighed in relief.

PART TWO: ALCHOHOL

The next day, I woke up to Applejack snoring. It was 10:43.

"Applejack" I whispered. No response.

"Applejack!" I whispered louder.

"AJ!" I said at a normal speaking voice. She turned in her sleep.

"AJ!"

(RAN: Each of these are to the tune of a song, so I put the song in the form of a link over the stuff. It could be from more than one song, so I recomend you click on both!)

"A-pple, apple apple, Applejack" (to the tune of Spoon Man)

"Apple-Apple-Applejack, Apple-Apple-Appleja-ha-hack" (to the tune of Alejandro)

"Apple Applejack, apple apple Applejack" (to the tune of Mistadobilina or Zilch)

"Apple-apple, Applejack, apple apple apple apple Applejack" (to the tune of Rock 'N' Roll)

"A-happlejack, ah aaaaaaah, Applejack, Ap-ple-jack, ah-ha, Applejack" (to the tune of Crush on You or Crush on You)

"Goddamnit, APPLEJACK!" She snorted and grogily rolled over. "You should be used to waking up earlier than the city boy, you worked on a farm for fuck's sake!"

"It's not a scruple a' mine" she mumbled and tried to go back to sleep. I ended up dragging her out of her sleeping bag, that got her up.

When I got downstairs, I saw that Rainbow was getting into Grandpa's Hienikens!

"Nonononono!" I shouted and ran t'wards her. I let go of Applejack, and she fell to the ground. I slapped the beer out of Rainbow's hand thru the broken glass slidey-door. "You never, ever drink beer" I lectured. "It'll destroy your brain and liver, and make you look a damns down fool in the process!"

"Why?" she asked

"The alchohol! And there might be some other key elements! Just... Take my word for it!"

"Why? You've drank it before?" she asked

"Well, there's an age limit, so no" I said, then clapped my hands over my mouth. They didn't know my true age, and I hadn't planned on telling them!

"What's the age limit? Thirty?" I guess I had to get it out there

"N-No... 21"

"Hell, I'm 27! I can drink it. But, you said brain rot, so, um, you're twenty?"

"N-No..."

"Um, wait. How old are you?"

"I-we're all, me, H-Harry, Price, actually Simon's a year older, we're all..."

"Spit it out!" she was getting impatient

"I'm thirteen. Harry's thirteen. Pace is thirteen. Simon is, well, Simon got held back a year in school, so he's fourteen" I expected her to explode with anger, bring the saying "Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned" to life kind of thing, but no. She simply picked me up by the collar.

"You, were lying to us?!"

"No! You never asked!"

"Then why? Why go after Derpy?"

"How was I supposed to know you guys were in yer friggin' twenties?"

"Well, techincally Rarity's thirty..."

"But still. The only refrence to age is that in one episode Fluttershy says to Pinkie: 'Actually, I'm a year a year older than you'. That's all!" She let me go. Pinkie helped me up. Rainbow ended up permenantly stretching the collar of that shirt.

PART 3: DERPY LESS THAN THREE DAMO AND VICE VERSA

Fast forward two weeks.

Over these two weeks, Grandpa and I had taught Rainbow to drive.

Me, her, and Derpy decided to agree to

Grandpa's request to go to the Co-Op for grain.

As you may know by now, I can drive stick. (RAN: Sorta true. Still haven't mastered the art of reverse) Well, I decided to take the Masda and drive myself and the other two to the Co-Op.

"But, as we get close, you'll have to drive. The age to be legally drive is sixteen" I explained to Rainbow on the way. "I might actually join Derpy in the backseat, to make it believable" And to just be able to chill with Derpy. "Now, there are some horny rednecks at this Co-Op. If they try to hit on you, I'll do this..." I stuck my middle and ring fingers out only. "...you have premission to kick their ass. Oop! We're almost there! I can see the silos. Swap" I pulled over, got in the back, and she drove us the rest the way. It surprizingly still went smoothly.

When we popped up at the destination, Rainbow was asked out of the car. Standard Co-Op procedure. She was to help monitor the grain flow into the back of the black Toyota pickup.

Now, as predicted, the two rednecks that always hit on the girls at the Co-Op were working. I never figured out their names. (RAN: Half lie. One of them is Phillip) Well, you're probavly asking, "How can this dude know if they're hitting on Rainbow?" Well, I can read lips.

As I friendily conversated with Derpy, Rainbow continued to look bored with the hillbilly people. This is unusual for me, but I decided to make the first move. (RAN: How unoften, you ask? I've never actually made the first move. It's always been the girl, and I've only been made three moves on. I, do not have luck with the ladies) I put my arm around her! Bam! She leaned her head on mine! Double bam! I let that sit for a moment, then I went in for the kill! Cue the La Roux song! What's "the kill", you ask? A kiss! Oh, but I got more than that. No, not like that! I'm thirteen for fucks sake! (RAN: I've said it before: 12) I made out with an eighteen year old!! (RAN: That's inacurate. I've never made out, actually. I mean, I've never gotten tongue. That's what that means, correct?) I got tongue from an 18 year old. (RAN: Still going on that) After about what seemed 2-4 minutes I glanced outside. The hillbilly on Rainbow's side was oogling her. Then his lips moved. He said: Nice pair. Shit. I didn't break out of the kiss, but I flashed the symbol. I went back to eyes closed mode. I thought about it for a moment: How did Derpy know about kissing? Why was she making out with me? Well, I suppose she knew about kissing, and I was already a love intrest, so... Then a bang from behind me. I broke out and swung around. Rainbow had taken the redneck's head, and banged it against the glass of the door. It didn't shatter, just broke hardcore. Blood run down the cracks. Rainbow jumped in the car.

"Alright lovebirds; I don't know if what I just did was completely legal, so let's ska-scoot" she said quickly and took off. She drove us the rest of the way home.

PART 4: CATCHING UP

Another week passed. Little to my knoledge, Rarity had gotten into Mama's sewing kit, and had Rainbow go out and buy her new sewing glasses. She made them all outfits.

Twilight got a pink and hot pink tee, the collar and sleeves were hot pink and the body pink, and a black jacket. She also got black zipperless jeans.

Fluttershy got a green and cream swirled top, I wouldn't call it a tee, but it was a shirt none the less, and cordouroys, dark brown.

Pinkie got a still pink still tank top, but it frilled at the bottom, and hot pink sweat combo. At this point I think Rarity also got more fabrics and such, because Mama didn't have these supplies.

AJ got an orange button up shirt and dark blue work slacks. Also, a new hat. The old one, as you couldn't tell from the show, was battered, beaten, and old. She held onto it. And: A new ponytail holder. This one was green.

Rainbow got a, of cource, cyan tee with gray and orange slacks. Slacks. Rainbow enjoyed them, so whatever.

Rarity, for herself, made a white formal buisness shirt and a purple dress.

Scoots got an orange shirt with a purple line diagonally left thru the shirt. Sweetie a similar design, a white shirt with a hot pink stripe vertically. And Applebloom's yellow with a red stripe diagonally right thru the shirt. So original, Rares. Sarcasmic qualities should go with the previous sentence.

And for Spike, ahem, I mean "Spikey-Wikey", a purple shirt with green overcoat and gray cargos. He was stylin'. No sarcasm.

As the first day of donning these new outfits, we all shared stories. Rarity went first. She told of when she opened the store.

"I was seventeen at the time. As you seven may know, I live in my store. Upstairs. Well, the idea came from Sweetie. My parents never liked the idea of me selling the clothes I made, but they moved out, because they had better things to in Canterlot. I don't mean that spitefully, they litterally had mor important buisness, and decided I was capable of living on my own. I found out a few months later about li'l Sweetie on the way. Now, I had made friends with a certain Octavia, 2nd chair cellist in the Canterlot Royal Orcherastra, you know. Could be 1st chair, she's really good, but she isn't. No matter how imbarassing, I had no idea there was a second and third chair for any orchresta..." me and Other Me shared a sidelong glance. You see, we were in orcherestra in the sixth grade. (RAN: I was. I played viola. It was miserable. Horrible. Wish I'd never done it) Obviously, there's a second and third chair. "... Anyway, so Octavia bought a dress. She was so impressed, she spread the word around. You know, it's sad. She was only allowed to wear the collar for the preformances. That's how I met AJ and her brother.." she sighed dreamily and got a dreamy look on her face to match, and snapped to reality. "...was a job making Big Macintosh a tux and Applejack a dress. A wedding or something" she looked to AJ. She nodded.

"Apple Fritter and Moonshade" she confirmed

"And from there it kind of started blossoming. About three years later, on my twentieth birthday. All my best friends and family were there. Applejack had become a good friend of mine, Berry Punch, well, we had known eachother all our lives. Litterally, we had played as foals. Golden Harvest was the person who went to the spa with me before Fluttershy. Bubbles had done my hair the entire time I was in Ponyville. And, well, the Doctor was my coltfriend at the time. We, broke up a year later. But we were still friends. And little 3 year old Sweetie and my parents were there. After the cutting of the cake, Sweetie pulled me aside and recomended I opened a shop. And so I did" Everyone else told stories, like AJ told of when she got her hat, Twilight how she spilled coffee all over the Princess's rug, and tried to magic the stain away, but ended up ripping the rug, very Regular-Show-esque if you ask me, and how Scootaloo got suspended for writing "Ms. Scarlet Rose is dumb!" on the chalkboard. All great stories, but Rarity's kept coming back into mind. Why did her parents not tell her a baby sister was on the way? How is a baby born in Equestria? What is the rational of free dresses? If not free, the now much is each dress? Why am I so interested in Rarity all of a sudden? Alas, none of these questions got answered.

PART 5: I GUESS THIS IS GOODBYE. FOR NOW. SEE YOU LATER.

My parents were coming back from vacation in a couple of days, and Twilight wanted home. I got a goodbye kiss from Derpy, woo-wee, that girl can kiss, and Twilight glowed her forehead, which looks super fucked up, and hugged me. I also got a hug from Pinkie and a fistpound from Rainbow. As the spell powered up, Simon walked in. He tripped, a magic explosion, and the Mane 6, CMC, and Spike were gone. And Simon with them. Shit!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Author's Note: IF YOU DON'T READ AUTHOR'S NOTES, YOU SHOULD READ THIS, IT'S IMPORTANT! The point of view for the next part will be first person still, but from Twilight's Point Of View. How awesome is that?! Henry has a fic coming up.