DO NOT READ THIS: KEPT ONLY FOR INSPECTION

Well, I stayed on it for an hour. I would’ve stayed for longer, but there was a line. No one would’ve believed my predicament if I told them, so I just played Happy Wheels and downloaded Audacity and AVS Video Editor again so I could make music, music videos, and YouTube Poops. It’s quite simple, really. You just go to http://www.avs4you.com/ and choose AVS Video Editor, download it and Java, download a program that allows you to upload YouTube onto your computer (I always preferred http://www.saveyoutube.com/), download a couple of videos as source material, some pictures, too, if you’d like, randomly put them together in a mess of funniness, publish it, upload it to YouTube, and batta bing bam, you’ve made a YouTube Poop!

“I’m off, Harry! Your turn! Nothing to dangerous! They get viruses easily!” I called. They didn’t really, but I didn’t want him going anywhere dangerous.

“A virus? Like a sickness?” asked Twilight as I walked into the room with the TV, where pretty much everybody seemed to be

“No, well… Yes, but a sickness for the computer” I explained. “If you get a virus on your computer, and you don’t get it fixed by a professional soon, your computer’s done for!”

“Well, that’s not good at all!” said Fluttershy

“No, no it isn’t” I said

“Well, sit down. Price found a program on Investigation Discovery” said Other Me

“Ooh boy! I love that channel!” I said and jumped for my spot on the couch, but stopped myself, because Rainbow was sitting there.

“What was that?” she asked, confused

“It’s just that… Well, on tradition… Nevermind, I’ll take the floor” I stuttered, then plopped down beside one of the Prices.

“That was very gentlemanly of you, Damo” said Other Me

“So you’re going to call me by name?” I said

“Why, of course!” he said, and pulled one of my trademark rubber faces. I can make all sorts of faces. I hadn’t seen this one before

“That’s a new one” I stated plainly

“You likey? I’ve been working on it!”

“Well I’m glad I’m good at something” I mumbled. We were watching Forensic Files. But wait, that didn’t come on Investigation Discovery!

“Hey! Is this Forensic Files?” I asked

“No, it’s a rip off that Investigation Discovery made”

“Is MLP still on?” I asked, because I had been worried it had been canceled

“Yeah! Fourth season is in September!” he exclaimed

“I missed an entire season? Damnit!”

“I think you were in an entire season!” said Other Harry

“What?!”

“Go check the Hub!” he waved his hand at Twilight

“I don’t know how to work this…” she said

“Just give it to me!” I said

“Here” she said grumpily and threw it at me

“Hey!” I shouted, then searched for the Hub. Sure enough, there was an episode I hadn’t seen coming on. Luckily Pound Puppies was on now. Wait, wasn’t it always My Little Pony, then Pound Puppies? I thought Oh well, guess they changed it. This episode of Pound puppies was about a dog they were trying to find an owner for named Taboo, but he had really bad luck. There were some cats who were taking care of him, and it turns out they were making all this stuff happen to him. They found him an owner who had equally bad luck.

“That was unexpected!” said Rainbow

“I like this show, I think” said Fluttershy

“I’d imagine” groaned Other Harry

“Hey, it’s coming on!” I shouted, excitedly. In the good way this time.

My little pony, my little pony Aaah, aaah! Aaah, aaah! began the theme, but then it sounded different. There were more synth leads and it sounded like an orchrestral section was added. Twilight landed by Sugarcube Corner instead of the train station this time.

At the end of the theme where the scroll unrolls and the picture of the six of them is inside, Twilight said “I’ve never sent her that picture!”

“Well, shu-shoosh!” I said. There was a pony I’d never seen before there. It was a stallion, who was a really light orange and had a brown mane. He, he sounded like me! I was a character on the show!

“Fuck, man, we’re on the show!” shouted Price

“Well, whaddaya know!” I said

Harry ran in. “Hey! We were on the show as ponies! I just saw it on the internet—oh, I guess you know” he said as he looked at the TV screen

“Yes we know! Now sit yer booty and shut up or go back in there!” I said

“Okay” he sighed

“I’m still going to get on the computer, but I want to stay here and watch this for now”

“Well, I don’t wanna see this stupid-ass show, so I’m gonna go use the internet” I decided

“No clopping!” I called after him

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Authors Note: Well, I’m feeling like poop again today. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. My baby sister will be 3 by the time I’m in high school! By the time I’m 20, she’ll only be 8! I’ll be 24 by the time she’s even my age. It’s been a long time, and I won’t be even living here anymore by the time she’ll actually need my most. I’ll be the kind of brother she’ll only see on weekends. I feel horrible, but I can’t live at my parents forever. But I’m just a kid, I shouldn’t be worrying! Or talking to you guys about it, what are you going to do? My life is suck right now. Besides ponies, writing is my only escape! By the time I’m done with this story, I’ve no idea what to write. Sigh. To top it all off, I’ve gone deaf in one ear. It’s only temporary, but it sounds like everything was recorded in a low quality recording studio, then played back for me to hear at real time.

Oh yeah, if you were ever wondering, the characters are based off of real live people. Of course, I am the main character, and you’ve seen my basic thought pattern and I guess you know my age. Price is my friend Pace, he’s as vulgar as it gets so the character fits him, but really it’s not all him. There’s some things I’ve written in for him that aren’t stuff he’d do at all. Harry is my writing partner and best friend Henry, he’s pretty much the same as Harry, except the fact that Henry’s not a jackass. I’ve always been good at writing jackasses. And Simon is my “friend” Sam. He isn’t an anti-brony, but he still doesn’t like the show. But, he does like Rainbow Dash, so it’s fun to write them as enemies!

I’ve rambled on to long now. Go back to your daily lives! Eat a sandwich! Hold a baby! Read a book that isn’t a piece of shit like this is! I recommend Neverwhere by Neil Gaimen. Unfortunate name, I know, but whatevs. Or I also like The Homework Machine by Dan Gutman. Or Return of the Homework Machine. Possibly some Amelia Badelia. She’s a nut! But my favourite authors are always going to be R.L. Stine and David Lubar. I could never decide which one is my favourite, so I said both!

I’m rambling again, aren’t I?