They made a play about us?!
Twilight took a deep breath as she trotted down the hall of the castle she once resided in. Despite the fact she started living in Canterlot after her inauguration, which was probably at least two decades ago, the lavender alicorn still used the crystal castle as a means for meeting up with her friends.
As Twilight approached the double doors that would lead to the throne room, the sound of chatter had increased in volume. Twilight didn’t have to guess whose voices they were. They were the voices of her friends. To think even after all these years, Twilight still had the same friends from when she first came to Ponyville, and the bond between them all had still been going strong.
After letting the nervousness inside her body calm down, Twilight turned the knob with her magic and trotted inside. One look at the room, and already Twilight was filled with nostalgia.
A rainbow-maned pegasus and an orange earth pony were hoof-wrestling without any clear winner. A pink earth pony was tickling the belly of her yellow, pink-maned child, and the child did his best to avoid flooding the room with the sound of laughter. A yellow pegasus was brushing the fur of a bunny just like she would twenty years ago, but with a different bunny. A beefed-up dragon that would fit in a bizarre anime had his hands wrapped across a white unicorn that was wearing a thick blue jacket. The unicorn’s mane was purple, but had a grey stripe flowing across with pride. The dragon and unicorn were nuzzling each other, showing any creature how much of a thing they were. It surprised even Twilight how her number one assistant managed to be with the same pony he first fell in love with.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” Twilight said calmly.
Instantly, everypony and dragon stopped what they were doing and looked at Twilight. Twilight was used to having everypony look at her, as she was an official princess who attended every ceremony and gala in Canterlot.
“Twilight!” Fluttershy said. “Good to see you!”
Fluttershy got up from her chair and hugged Twilight. Soon, everyone else followed her. It had been a while since they last shared a group hug.
“It’s good to see all of you, too,” Twilight said as they broke up.
“Yer...not in yer princess form?” Applejack asked.
Twilight giggled. “This is not an official meeting, so I decided to go casual today.”
Despite the fact that Twilight had transformed into an alicorn, she was not granted immortality. This was evident by the bags under her eyes that matched her friends'. Princess Celestia knew that Twilight would be heartbroken if she ends up living longer than her friends. Thus, Twilight had only gotten the power and wings of an alicorn, but not its lifespan. To keep looking like she was still young, Twilight conducted a spell to make her body look similar to Celestia and Luna. Twilight is aware that looks don’t matter, but sadly, some of the ponies in Canterlot don’t know that or disagree. So instead of arguing with the public, Twilight decided to go the easy way. It wasn’t inconvenient or uncomfortable for her to transform, so she didn’t have any problems.
“So, why did you bring us all here?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Twilight cleared her throat. “Well, it’s been a while...a big while...since we’ve done something together, so I’d thought we could all meet up when everypony’s free.”
“Seeing how almost everypony’s here,” Rarity said, “what activity do you have in store for us?”
“We’re gonna see a play!” Twilight announced. “But not just any play. Check this out.”
Twilight pulled a rolled-up sheet of paper from her saddlebags. She then unrolled it onto the table. The paper showed an almost perfect drawing of the Mane Six and Spike in their younger days.
“They’ve made a play about all of us,” Twilight said. She then read the poster. “‘The play The Adventures of Twilight Sparkle and Company is a play written and performed by the famous Playwright Ponies. Join Twilight Sparkle and her friends as they tackle many mishaps and fearsome foes on a quest to spread the magic of friendship far and wide! Based on true events.’ This is a perfect time to watch it.”
The reactions went from pleased to mixed in an instant.
“The Playwright Ponies?!” Rainbow exclaimed. “Not those guys again! They’ve butchered Daring Do and the Eternal Flower last time I saw them. I lost count how many times I had to convince Applejack’s nephew that Daring Do is NOT Dr. Caballeron’s daughter!”
“Oh, come on, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said. “Not all adaptations have to match their original source. Besides, every actor has their good and bad plays. You can’t judge them just by one play.”
“Twilight, are you sure we should go see a play about ourselves?” Fluttershy asked. “I’ve never seen myself portrayed by another pony before.”
“Come on, girls,” Twilight said. “It’s been forever since we’ve done something as a group that didn’t involve saving the world or keeping Luster Dawn under control. A play like this could be an experience for all of us.”
Knowing that Twilight went through all of this to unite everypony, the girls and Spike had no choice but to join Twilight.
Later that evening, they set off to the theater where the play would be held. The place was already packed. The group was lucky to even find seats.
“Can we even hear the play from up here?” Spike asked. "I can practically touch the ceiling without flying."
“Shh. It’s starting,” Pinkie whispered.
A pony came out from behind the curtains. She was pink with a gold mane. Twilight instantly knew who she was.
“Luster Dawn?” Twilight asked under her breath.
“Thank you all for coming,” Luster said to the audience. “It’s my pleasure to bring you this play. The following has been inspired by true events from various sources. I hope you all will enjoy it.”
Luster retreated back to the curtains as the room filled with applause. The curtains raised as the backdrop revealed a room all too familiar to Twilight.
Not exactly like my old room, Twilight thought. But like I said, the adaptations can’t be all accurate.
Then a pony entered the stage. She was a lavender unicorn just like Twilight, and her mane was similar as well.
“Spike! Spike!” the Twilight actor spoke. “Where are you?”
Twilight was surprised and confused to hear this voice. It sounded like the actor had a congested nose.
I don’t sound like that. Do I? Twilight thought.
“I’m coming, Twilight Sparkle!” a voice called out. A short, chubby, purple dragon with wings entered the stage. This was supposed to be Spike. “What’s wrong?”
“Hey, I wasn’t that fat,” the real Spike hissed. “I may have had a gut but it wasn’t anything serious. Also, I didn’t get my wings until after the School of Friendship was built.”
“Relax, Spikey,” Rarity said as she patted Spike’s scaly abs. “Remember, it can’t all be accurate.”
“I’ve read every single book front to back for hours,” the Twilight actor said, “and I’ve discovered that Princess Celestia’s sister, Nightmare Moon, is coming tonight to take over the world.”
“Oh, that’s good,” the Spike actor said. “I thought it was something serious.”
The audience laughed at that.
“Send a letter to Princess Celestia!” commanded Fake Twilight. “We must warn her about her sibling’s return.”
Fake Spike pretended to write something on a sheet of paper. Then he crumpled it into a ball and blew it off the side of the stage.
“In all seriousness,” the real Spike said, “they’ve pretty much nailed you, Twilight.”
“Are you kidding, Spike?” the real Twilight asked. “That sounds nothing like me.”
“Twilight,” Fake Spike said. “Why don’t you make a few friends? I don’t count because I’m a dragon. It would be easier for you if you socialized.”
“Are you kidding, Spike?!” Fake Twilight asked.
The real Twilight blushed after hearing that.
A paper ball landed in the center of the stage.
“Celestia has replied to us!” Fake Twilight announced. “Read for me, Spike!”
Fake Spike uncrumpled the ball and read the letter:
“Dear Twilight,
Please travel to Ponyville to make some friends.
Signed,
Princess Celestia.”
“What?!” Fake Twilight asked. “Why would I do that?”
“It’s a direct order from Princess Celestia,” Fake Spike said. “You’re always loyal to her, so why disobey her now?”
Fake Twilight sighed heavily. “You’re right, Spike. I should listen to her.”
The curtains closed as the audience clapped.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Real Twilight said. “That was the worst acting I’ve seen, and I’m including Celestia during her ones-versary play.”
“Relax, darling,” Rarity said as she polished her opera glasses. “You did say inaccuracies happen with plays like this.”
“The inaccuracies I can handle, but I can't understand how these ponies are enjoying such awful acting.”
“I liked it, Pwincess Twilight,” Li'l Cheese said. “Is that bad?”
“Don't worry, Li'l Cheese,” Pinkie said as she ruffled her child's mane, “you can like whatever you like.”
The curtains opened once again. The background was a painting of Ponyville. The fake Twilight and Spike entered from the left.
“So this is Ponyville,” Fake Spike said, “a town with ponies. What an original name.”
The audience chuckled.
“The princess said I should make friends with some ponies,” Fake Twilight said, “but who will be my friend?”
Suddenly, a pink earth pony popped up from a fake bush.
“Hey, it’s you, Mommy!” Li’l Cheese said.
“Hi! Welcome to Ponyville!” Fake Pinkie shouted. “You must be new here! I love ponies who are new here! Since you’re new here, wanna be friends?!”
“Uh...” Fake Twilight started to say.
“Great!” Fake Pinkie hugged her. “Now we’re best friends forever and ever and ever! Isn’t that right, audience?”
The crowd cheered.
Pinkie was clearly offended by this. “Hey, I didn’t talk to the audience that much.” She then looked at you. “Right?”
“Howdy, there!” a voice from the stage exclaimed. An orange earth pony with a cowboy hat showed up on the stage. “The name’s Applejack! Wanna apple?!” She then pulled a prop apple out of her hat.
“Uh...sure,” Fake Twilight replied. She then pretended to eat it. “Mmm. Good apple.”
“Thanks!” Fake Applejack shouted. “Since ya like apples, and Ah like apples, that means we’re now friends! Ain’t that somethin’?!”
“What in tarnation is that?!” the real Applejack complained. “That’s not how ya do a southern accent! Rarity could’ve done a better job. Er, no offense.”
“None taken,” Rarity replied.
“Gotta go fast!” a mare’s voice shouted. A rainbow appeared on the top of the backdrop. Soon, a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane appeared. “What is up, my posse of ponies? Rainbow Dash in the house! What’s the 411?”
“I...uh...just arrived here,” Fake Twilight said.
“A new pony, huh? Welcome to Ponyville, my home skillet! This town’ll be da bomb with you here!”
The real Rainbow’s jaw dropped.
“I-I sound nothing like that!” Rainbow shouted. “‘411’?! ‘Home skillet’?! ‘Da bomb’?! I sound like an outdated hedgehog!”
“Yeah, ya kinda do,” Real Applejack said. “They should’ve made ya 20% cooler.”
“Okay, that wasn’t funny,” Rainbow said. “I haven’t said that since Rarity made us those dresses for the gala.”
“Speaking of Rarity,” Spike said. “Here she comes.”
Spike pointed to a white unicorn with a curly mane appearing on the stage. A harp played as she entered. This was Rarity.
Quickly, the fake Spike got down on one knee and said, “You are the most beautiful mare I’ve ever seen.”
“That’s cute,” Fake Rarity said as she patted his head. “Anyway, my name is Rarity, and I’ve been informed about your arrival, darling. Would you be so kind as to tell me your name, darling?”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Fake Twilight said. “I’ve come from Canterlot.”
Fake Rarity gasped. “Canterlot?! That is my dream home, darling! We shall become best friends immediately!”
Real Rarity pouted. “I am not that prissy, and I don’t say ‘darling’ that often. Also, I didn’t brush Spike off like that.”
“At least we’re together now,” Real Spike said as he hugged her.
“That’s true...”
A yellow pegasus slowly but surely walked to the stage. Twilight couldn’t tell if the actor had stage fright or was in character for Fluttershy.
“Um...” the fake Fluttershy mumbled. “H-hi...m-my name is...F-F-Fluttershy...and...” She then noticed Fake Spike. “Gasp! A baby dragon!” She quickly dashed up to him and hugged him. “Oh, baby dragons are so cute.”
The audience awwed, including the real Fluttershy.
“You’re okay with this, Fluttershy?” Real Twilight asked.
“Well, I was pretty shy back then,” Real Fluttershy replied. “It’s nice to see how far I’ve come since I grew confident.”
“Okay, it’s clear that I’ve made some friends,” Fake Twilight said. “But I don’t see why the princess would want me to do so.”
Suddenly all the lights in the theater went off. The crowd was confused. An evil laughter echoed throughout the room.
“Is this part of the play?” the real Pinkie asked as she hugged a scared Li’l Cheese.
“After a million years, I’ve returned to this pathetic planet!” a booming voice shouted.
“It can’t be!” Fake Twilight shouted in the dark.
“Yes, it can!”
A spotlight shone on a tall black pony on the stage. Her mane was dark blue with sparkles.
“It is I, Nightmare Moon!” the black pony thundered. “I’ve come to plague this land of darkness for all eternity! Nopony will stand in my way!”
Another spotlight shone on the fake Twilight and her friends.
“Not if we can help it!” Fake Twilight announced. “We all may have met each other in less than five minutes, but we will defeat you!”
“Friendship beam!!” The group shouted.
A rainbow ribbon came out from behind the group and landed on Fake Nightmare Moon.
“Noooo!!” the fake Nightmare shouted as smoke appeared around her. “I have been defeated by friendship!”
The crowd applauded as the smoke cleared. Nightmare Moon was replaced by a small blue filly.
“Well done, Twilight Sparkle,” a voice said.
Fake Twilight gasped. “That sounds like...”
A tall, white alicorn appeared from behind the group.
“Princess Celestia!” the group said. They all quickly bowed.
“At least the actor made her look accurate,” the real Twilight said.
“Hold on.” The real Rarity adjusted her opera glasses. “Twilight...that’s the real Princess Celestia!”
“What?! Give me those!” Twilight snatched the glasses away and looked through them. “Oh my...it is her!”
“Celestia did say she had an interest in theatre,” Spike said. “Now we know what she's been up to since she retired.”
“I am pleased to see that you’ve used the power of friendship to defeat my sister,” Celestia said. “Wonderful job.”
“Your Highness,” the fake Twilight asked, “is it okay if I stay in Ponyville? I want to learn more about friendship.”
Celestia nodded. “I will allow it.”
The crowd applauded as the curtains fell.
“Is that it?” The real Rainbow asked.
“No, I think there were more scenes than this,” Spike replied.
Li’l Cheese looked at the program he got when the group first entered the theater. “The next part is called…‘The Gwand Gulping Gawa.’”
“It's the ‘Grand Galloping Gala,’ Li’l Cheese,” Pinkie said.
“Oh, no!” Twilight covered her face with her hooves. “I didn’t think I’d have to relive that again!”
After a few minutes, the curtains went back up. The background was of Celestia’s castle at night. The Fake Six and Celestia came in wearing frilly dresses.
“It’s so boring standing next to Princess Celestia!” Fake Twilight groaned. “This is the worst night ever!”
“The Wonderbolts don’t know how I run!” Fake Rainbow complained. “This is totally the worst night ever!”
“The princess’s nephew would rather kiss his own reflection than me, darling!” Fake Rarity cried. “This is truly the worst night ever!”
“None of the animals want to interact with me,” Fake Fluttershy whimpered. “This is probably the worst night ever.”
“None of these ponies know how to party!” Fake Pinkie shouted. “This is seriously the worst night ever!”
“Ah can’t sell nothin’ at the gala where the food is free,” Fake Applejack sighed. “This is the dag nab worst night ever!”
“It’s always a bad night when you’re at the Gala,” Princess Celestia said. “It is better to be together than to spend a night here.”
“The princess is right,” Fake Twilight said. “Let’s get out of here and find something we actually like to do.”
“I’m with ya, Twi!” Fake Rainbow exclaimed. “Let’s bounce!”
The Fake Six removed their dresses and ran off stage. Celestia calmly walked to the other side of the stage as the curtain fell.
Applause once again filled the room.
“Is it over? Please tell me it’s over,” Twilight said with her eyes covered.
“It’s over,” Spike said.
Twilight sighed. The curtains once again rose. The background this time was Ponyville, but it was upside down.
Fake Twilight and her friends entered the stage with distraught looks on their faces.
“Oh, no!” Fake Twilight said. “Discord, the lord of chaos, has literally turned Ponyville upside down!”
“Whatever shall we do, darling?!” Fake Rarity cried. “This is the worst possible thing!”
An evil laugh was heard.
A lion costume in the shape of Discord soon appeared on stage.
“It’s him!” Fake Pinkie shouted. "It's our villian for this scene!"
“Discord!” Fake Twilight glared. “What did we do for you to take our world away?!”
“I’m the Lord of Chaos, remember?” the Discord head asked. “I wreak anarchy and all it brings. If you’re not satisfied, then I will show you what I can do!”
The costume circled around Fake Twilight and her friends. Twilight was left normal, but her friends are a different story.
“I don’t want to be happy!” Fake Pinkie complained.
“I hate animals!” Fake Fluttershy groaned.
“Gotta go slow...” Fake Rainbow moaned.
“Ah’d rather eat pears than apples,” Fake Applejack lied.
“Everything’s gonna be alright,” Fake Rarity said as she scratched her nose.
“How uncouth,” the real Rarity said.
“Girls! This is unlike you!” Fake Twilight announced. “Discord is trying to pull your strings and make you feel this way! We can’t let him win!”
Fake Pinkie and the others quickly snapped out of it
“You’re right! We can’t let Discord win because he made us think differently!” Pinkie announced. "We're supposed to be the main characters! Let’s do this!”
“Friendship beam!” the group shouted.
Once again, a rainbow ribbon flew up and landed on Discord’s head.
“Noooo!! Your friendship ruined my chaos!”
A cloud of smoke covered the lion costume. It was then replaced with a cardboard cutout of the Discord statue.
“I’m just glad the real Discord isn’t here to see this,” said the real Fluttershy.
The next scene was the Canterlot Wedding. The Fake Six (except Twilight), Spike, and Celestia appeared on the stage as the background turned into a wedding hall.
Celestia announced, “We are here to announce the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Cadance.”
A male, white unicorn with bulky armor appeared on the stage, followed by a tall, black pony wearing a mask with Cadance’s face on it. The latter was supposed to be a changeling, but Twilight could clearly see the holes taped onto their legs.
“Stop!” Fake Twilight shouted as she showed up. “That is not the real Cadance! She’s clearly a fake!”
“Twilight,” Fake Applejack said, “as yer most trustworthy and dependable friends, we don’t believe a word ya say.”
“Oh, no! How can my own friends betray me?!”
The real Twilight’s friends sunk in their seats.
“How dare you accuse me of being a fraud, you pony?!” the masked “changeling” barked.
“Stop!” a mare’s voice shouted. A pink unicorn with fake wings entered the stage. “That’s not the real me! She’s a bad changeling! She’s the evil queen, Queen Chrysalis!”
The audience pretended to gasp.
“Seein’ how we’ve only met ya fer ten seconds,” Fake Applejack said, “we believe every word ya say.”
The fake Chrysalis growled and removed her mask. “How did you know it was me?! I had a fool-proof disguise.”
“It’s simple,” Fake Cadance said. “I’m no fool. By pure coincidence, I was also Twilight’s babysitter, and never in my life would I call her ‘pony.’”
Fake Chrysalis smirked. “Then it’s time for Plan B!” She pointed her horn at Celestia. “Zap!”
“Oh, no!” Celestia collapsed to the floor. “She’s too powerful for me...Equestria is doomed.”
“Not yet it isn’t!” Fake Twilight said. “We’ll use the power of friendship to defeat you!”
“I know a perfect way!” Fake Shining said. “Changelings feed on love, so my fiance and I will give it to her! Ready honey?”
Fake Cadance walked up to him. “Ready! Let’s do it!”
The two stage-kissed, and a bright pink light lit up the stage.
“Nooo! Your love has both fed me and defeated me! I shall return with my minions someday!” Fake Chrysalis jumped off the stage.
“Twilight, we’re mighty sorry fer ever doubting ya!” Fake Applejack said.
“It’s okay, girls. I already forgave you,” said the fake Twilight.
Celestia stood up and said, “Now that Chrysalis has been defeated, I shall pronounce Shining and Cadance, husband and wife.”
The audience applauded as the curtains fell.
“Boy, was that a crazy event,” the real Spike said. “I still don’t understand how you girls didn’t trust Twilight or how Celestia went down so easily.”
“W-we thought she was just jealous of her brother getting married,” the real Rainbow said.
“And Chrysalis was filled with so much love, she’d had more power than Princess Celestia,” the real Twilight added.
The curtains went back up, revealing the Crystal Empire as the background. A cardboard cutout of King Sombra appeared. It was hung by two ropes.
A voice from offstage announced, “I, King Sombra, have—”
“Zapp!” Fake Spike shouted as he pointed at the fake Sombra. “You’re defeated!”
“Noooo!! I’ve been defeated so easily by a baby dragon!” The cutout flew away.
“Now the Empire can be ruled by somepony more qualified: my sister-in-law, Princess Cadance.”
The audience clapped.
“Come to think of it, King Sombra was defeated pretty quick,” the real Spike pointed out. “Still, at least I became famous.”
“Yeah, I almost forgot who Sombra was,” Twilight said.
The background changed to a field outside of Ponyville. Romantic music played and rose petals fell as Fake Fluttershy and Fake Discord entered from opposing sides of the stage.
“Discord, my love,” Fake Fluttershy said, “please come to the good side for me. My heart has never yearned for such a fantastic creature as you. It would mean the world to me if you reformed.”
“Then by all means, I shall join you and your friends,” Fake Discord replied. “As long as it means I can spend time with you.”
“Oh...thank you, Discord.” Fake Fluttershy kissed his head.
The audience awwed so much. The real Fluttershy's friends, including Li’l Cheese, smirked at her.
Fluttershy covered her face with her hooves. “I-i-it’s not like that at all! Discord and I are just friends! That’s it! There’s nothing going on between us!”
“He makes lunches for you,” the real Rainbow Dash said.
“A-aren’t friends supposed to do that?! I make lunches for him, too!”
The background on the stage changed to a Ponyville street as Fake Twilight entered the stage.
“This is a good day to not have anything bad happening to me,” Fake Twilight said.
“Twilight!” Fake Rarity’s voice called out. “Something bad is happening, darling!!”
Fake Rarity rushed on stage. She had Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark taped to her flank.
“I all of a sudden have a need for speed, darling!” Fake Rarity cried as she ran in place.
“Twilight!” Fake Rainbow came in with Fluttershy’s cutie mark. She was holding a stuffed bunny. “I suddenly want to take care of animals now! This never happened before! I’m totally buggin!”
“Twilight!” shouted Fake Fluttershy as she entered with Pinkie’s cutie mark. “Wanna hear a funny joke? I suddenly feel like making ponies laugh! Wait, that wasn’t going to be the joke! Sorry, audience. Let me tell the joke! The joke is...”
“Twilaht!” a southern accent called out. Pinkie trotted in with Applejack’s cutie mark. “Ah’ve suddenly stahted to like ahpples way more often than Ah used to. Plus, Ah’m talkin’ like ah cowgirl, now.”
The real Applejack shook her head. “That accent’s even worse!”
“Twilight! Help me!” Fake Applejack galloped in wearing Rarity’s cutie mark. “I’ve suddenly had an urge to make a ton of dresses and make sure everything’s perfect! This is the worst possible thing!”
“Wait, I know what’s wrong,” Fake Twilight said. “I idiotically casted a spell without knowing what it did. Now, you girls have switched personalities.”
“How are you gonna fix this, darling?!” Fake Rarity said.
Fake Twilight pointed at something offstage. “Look! Dresses, animals, parties, racing, and apples!”
“Where?!” The rest of the fake cast shouted.
As the group looked behind their backs, Fake Twilight quickly removed the papers from the fake girls’ flanks and crumbled them all into one ball.
“There, now your cutie marks are back!” Fake Twilight said.
The girls shared a group hug when Princess Celestia joined in.
“Well done fixing your problems,” she said. “Since you’ve done so well, it’s time to promote you. From this day on, you’re now officially the Princess of Friendship.”
Celestia wrapped her wings around Fake Twilight. A few moments later, the latter had a pair of fake wings on and a wire attached to her body. Confetti rained from the stage.
“I’m an alicorn now!” Fake Twilight announced. “Which means I can fly!”
She jumped off the stage and “flew” in the air. The real Twilight could easily see that the wire was attached to a beam that was guiding her “flight.” After she circled the crowd, she landed back on the stage as the audience applauded. The curtains lowered once again.
They could’ve at least hid the wire better, Real Twilight thought.
Once the curtains were raised, the Fake Six were lying on the ground. A stallion with a centaur puppet on his head came in.
“It’s over, Princess Twilight!” the stallion thundered. “I, Lord Tirek, have taken all the magic from you and your pony friends!”
Fake Twilight lifted her head. “Are you sure about that? You forgot something.”
“Impossible!”
Fake Twilight and her friends stood up.
“You’re forgetting one thing, Lord Tirek,” Fake Twilight said. “Friendship is Magic!”
“Friendship beam!” The girls shouted.
A rainbow ribbon flew from the group and landed on Fake Tirek.
“Nooo! I’ve been defeated by friendship!” Smoke appeared as the fake Tirek disappeared.
“Well done, Princess Twilight,” Celestia’s voice said. She entered the stage. “As your reward for banishing Tirek, a castle has been made just for you.”
A cardboard cutout of Twilight’s old castle lowered itself onto the stage.
“It also comes with a map that tells you when there’s a friendship problem in Equestria,” Celestia added.
“Thank you, Princess Celestia,” Fake Twilight said. “I’m sure we’ll all put it to good use.”
The curtains went down once more. A sign saying “Intermission” appeared on stage. The real Twilight and her friends got up from their seats.
“Where’s everypony going?” Li’l Cheese asked. “Did the sign say it’s over?”
“It just means we’re taking a break, sweetie,” Pinkie replied. “Come on, now.”
The group united outside the theater.
“The intermission is the only good thing about this play!” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s like these actors know nothing about us!”
“I have to agree,” said Rarity. “I expected the worst, and yet I was still distraught.”
“I know I said that some adaptations don’t have to exactly match their source,” Twilight said, “but this play blew our stories way out of proportion. I’m surprised Celestia, of all ponies, was okay with this.” She sighed. “I’m gonna try talking to her.”
“I’m going with you, Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash. “I’d like to have a discussion with one of the actors.”
“You’re talking about the one who portrayed you? Why?”
“I just have some advice on how to be me, even in wacky-play form.”
“How are ya going to get in?” Applejack asked. “I don’t think they’ll allow ponies backstage.”
“We’ll find a way,” Twilight said.
Surprisingly, it was fairly easy for Twilight and Rainbow to go behind the scenes. All Twilight had to say was that she was the princess, and the guards let the two middle-aged ponies right in. Rainbow covered her mane with Applejack’s spare hat and hid her tail inside her jacket.
“I’m gonna go find the fake me,” Rainbow whispered. “I’ll meet you back at our seats.”
Twilight nodded as they split up.
“Wasn’t there supposed to be a scene where Twilight and Spike entered an alternate dimension?” one actor asked.
“I think it was cut out for time,” another actor replied.
“Excuse me,” Twilight said. “But have any of you two seen the actor of Princess Celestia lately?”
“Dressing Room Three,” they both replied.
“Thank you.”
As Twilight headed for the dressing rooms, she heard one of the actors say, “She doesn’t know who the actor really is?”
“I guess not,” the other replied.
Twilight trotted down the hall until she saw a door with a giant gold star. A number 3 was embedded in the star.
“This must be it,” Twilight said. She gently knocked on the door.
“Come in,” a voice from the other side called out.
Twilight entered the dressing room. There, she saw the pony she hoped to see once again. The same white coat, the same sun cutie mark, the same multicolored ethereal mane. It was no changeling magic or special makeup. This was the real Celestia.
Celestia’s back was turned, but she could instantly recognize the other pony from the mirror’s reflection.
“Nice to see you again, Princess Twilight,” the white alicorn said softly. She got down from her chair and bowed to Twilight.
“Likewise,” Twilight said as she bowed, too. Then, she realized she didn’t need to do so. “Oh, my apologies. Force of habit. So why are you here?”
“Seeing how I’ve retired from my duties as a princess, I find it fit to pursue my dream career of acting.”
“How long have you been in this career?”
“About ten years now. After I grew bored at Silver Shoals, I decided to take an acting course. About four years later, I graduated with a Master’s in Fine Arts. It didn’t take me long to find job offerings, and soon I was participating in real plays. I suppose you haven’t seen any of my past works, have you?”
Twilight shook her head. “Being an official princess, I rarely have enough time to take a break. It was by pure luck how most of my friends were able to meet with me.”
“I figured you weren’t the only one watching this play. Honestly, I was surprised as well when the director told us we were going to do a play about your past adventures. She even got me to play as myself. How are you girls enjoying it so far?”
Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “Well...don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the best actor on stage.”
Celestia chuckled. “I had a feeling your reactions would be mixed. So was mine at first. But the director informed me that not all adaptations have to be accurate. Sure there would be some flaws here and there, but it’s not a documentary. It’s best not to think too hard about it.”
“I’ll try to keep that in mind.”
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was looking around the backstage for her actor. Soon enough, she found her.
“Hey, there,” Rainbow said. “I’ve really admired your acting so far...”
“Oh, great. Another fan,” the actor sighed as she walked away.
“No, wait.” Rainbow stopped in front of her. “Listen, I’ve...been the Rainbow Dash club for as long as I can remember, and I’d like to give you a few pointers on how to act like her.”
“Such as?”
“The most important thing about m—Rainbow is that she always talks about how awesome she is. Like, she would talk nonstop about it.”
The actor nodded. “I did notice that it was absent in the script.”
“Another thing, she would also use more modern slang, like ‘chillax’ and stuff like that.”
“Oh, thank you. The director said to use as much slang as possible for this character, but she didn’t specify which ones to use. I had a feeling the stuff I said earlier wasn’t what the ponies would say in those times.”
“Don’t mention it. I’ve been in the Rainbow Dash fan club for over a decade, so I know a thing or two about the mare herself.”
Later, Twilight and Rainbow headed back to their seats. The rest of their friends were already there. They also had snacks with them.
“The snacks here are cheaper and more entertaining than this play,” Pinkie said as she munched on some jelly beans.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Mommy,” Li’l Cheese said.
Pinkie swallowed. “Sorry.”
The curtains went up again. The Fake Six and Spike were standing around a table. The background was of Twilight’s castle.
“Isn’t this awesome, girls?” the fake Rainbow Dash asked. “We now got this cool new castle to chillax in.”
The real Rainbow smirked. “Great job, kid. You sound just like the real me.”
“I hope this castle’s crystals taste good,” Fake Spike said.
“Trust me, the ones Rarity have are way better,” the real Spike commented.
Then there was the sound of a bell chiming.
“Attention, Mane 6,” a robotic voice announced. “This is the cutie mark map. A friendship problem has arisen in a local village that requires all of your help. Please proceed to the following coordinates. Thank you.”
“We better do what the map says,” said the fake Twilight. “Let’s head to this local village!”
“Uh, oh. This is the part where Starlight Glimmer shows up,” the real Applejack said. “I hope they didn’t mess her up too badly.”
The Fake Six arrived at the village. A pink female unicorn with a mustache appeared in front of them.
“Hope is a fickle thing.” Real Applejack tilted her hat.
“Welcome to the Equality Village,” the unicorn said in a thick accent. “My name is Starlight Glimmer. Here, we never believe in cutie marks, and you shouldn’t either.”
“Wait a minute, if you don’t believe in cutie marks, then why do you have one on your flank?” the fake Twilight asked.
The fake Starlight gasped.
“I knew it! You’re a fraud! You took all those cutie marks away so you could be their leader!”
Fake Starlight growled as she ripped off her fake mustache. “I’ll get you for this!” she yelled in a normal accent. She then ran off the stage.
A chime was heard once again.
“This is the cutie mark map calling from your flanks,” the robotic voice said. “The friendship problem has been resolved. Good job, and we hope to see you again soon.”
“I guess that’s it?” Fake Fluttershy asked.
“Seems like it,” Fake Twilight replied. “Let’s head on back.”
“I don’t think that’s how the map works,” the real Fluttershy said. “It never talked to us.”
“Ocellus did say how the Tree of Harmony talked to them before,” Real Twilight said. “And the castle did come from the Tree. The writers might’ve gotten a bit confused from the facts.”
Later, the scene changed back into the castle. The fake Pinkie was reading a sheet of paper.
“Twilight!” she called out. “Remember your brother and sister-in-law? Look what they wrote to you. I'd say it myself, but I doubt the audience would like that.”
The Fake Twilight read the letter.
“Dear Twilighty,
Cadance is pregnant. I’m the father.
Signed,
Shining Armor.”
“This is great news!” Fake Twilight exclaimed. “I wonder if the baby will be a filly or a colt.”
“You will never know!” a mare’s voice shouted.
“What?!”
Fake Starlight entered the stage. “While you were busy doing pointless filler stuff, I’ve conducted a time travelling spell. With this, I will travel back in time and make sure none of you are ever born!”
The audience cringed.
“Time travel doesn’t work like that. You’ll just make an alternate timeline where we don’t exist, but this timeline will still be around. It’s pointless.”
Starlight sighed. “Dang it.”
“Why do you want to get rid of us? What do you have against cutie marks?”
“My ex-boyfriend got his cutie mark and I never saw him again! I’ve hated cutie marks since then!”
“Starlight, just because your boyfriend broke up with you does not mean you should pin the blame on cutie marks. How about you stay at my castle rent-free while I teach you about friendship?”
“Okay.”
“Great! We’ll get started right away.”
“Wait a minute,” the real Rarity said. “Starlight only traveled back to when Dash was doing the Sonic Rainboom in order to prevent us from getting cutie marks. She never considered traveling back to prevent our births!”
The scene changed to the Crystal Empire. The fake Shining Armor came in holding a Flurry Heart plushie.
“My daughter, Flurry Heart, has been born!” he announced as he held the plushie up to the sky. Fake snow fell on the stage.
Fake Rainbow Dash flew in. “I'm a Wonderbolt, now! I knew that team would need an awesome pony such as me!”
Fake Rarity walked in. “I was able to open many fashion shops, including one in Canterlot, darling!”
Fake Fluttershy slowly trotted in. “I was able to grow a spine and built a sanctuary for the animals.”
Fake Starlight arrived with a different manestyle. “Thanks to Twilight, I was able to make friends without brainwashing them.”
“Who did you make friends with?” Fake Twilight asked as she entered the stage.
“My ex-boyfriend, a traveling performer, and a changeling.”
“Wait, what was that last one?”
“A changeling. Spike introduced me to him. He's here now.”
Sure enough, a black changeling appeared on the stage. Every actor hid behind Twilight.
“Don't be afraid of me,” the changeling said. “I escaped Queen Chrysalis because I wanted to be different rather than look like my ten thousand brothers and sisters. Spike told me how everypony here is friendly, so that's why I came here.”
Fake Twilight said, “If what you say is true, then we welcome you to our side.”
“Oh, no you don't!” a voice shouted.
Fake Chrysalis and two more changelings holding spears arrived on stage. The audience gasped.
“You were foolish to betray me, now you will be sent back to where you belong!” she barked.
“You're coming with us, Thorax,” one of the spear changelings said.
“Wait,” Fake Thorax said. “Why do you need to listen to Chrysalis? What gain do you have for her? You’re just following her orders blindly.”
“He's right,” the other spear changeling said.
The two changelings pointed their spears at Queen Chrysalis.
“We'll no longer heed your bidding! From now on, the entire swarm will join the ponies' side.”
The crowd applauded.
“You don't have to be our enemy either, Chrysalis,” Fake Starlight said. “You can be our friend instead.”
“No thanks,” Fake Chrysalis replied quickly and bluntly. She hurried out of the stage.
“Eh, you'll reform her next time,” Fake Twilight said.
“Finally,” the first spear changeling said, “we can get out of this form.”
The two spear changelings and Fake Thorax transformed into their colored forms.
“Now changelings and ponies can coexist peacefully!” Fake Twilight announced.
The crowd clapped as the curtains went down.
“I still wonder what would've happened if Chrysalis accepted friendship when she was defeated,” the real Twilight said.
“I wonder what her colored form would look like,” Real Spike said. “I'd imagine it would be similar to a butterfly.”
The curtain raised once more. The background was of Ponyville. The Fake Six and Spike were standing in the middle of the stage.
“They change these scenes awfully quickly,” the real Rarity said.
“Girls,” Fake Twilight said, “ever since we’ve been together, we made peace with dragons, yaks, griffons, changelings, and the thought-to-be-extinct hippogriffs. That gave me an idea.”
“What idea is that, darling?” Fake Rarity asked.
“We’re gonna build a school to invite every sort of creature and teach them everything there is to know about friendship.”
“I’m cool with that,” Fake Rainbow Dash said. “Even with our busy, high-paying jobs, we can find enough time to work as teachers.”
A cardboard cutout of the Friendship School appeared behind the cast.
“Now everypony and non-pony can learn everything there is to know about friendship,” Twilight announced.
“Hold it!” a stallion's voice shouted.
A white unicorn with a red robe matched onto the stage. This was Chancellor Neighsay.
“Are you really going to open an education system for non-pony creatures?” the fake Neighsay asked. “One of them could use friendship as a means of destruction.”
“Don't be silly, Neighsay,” Fake Twilight replied. “Who would possibly use friendship as a weapon?”
“I can!” a mare's voice shouted.
A pink pegasus with a cyan curly mane flew in. This was supposed to be Cozy Glow, but…
“Wait, Cozy Glow was way younger than that,” the real Rainbow Dash complained. “She was, like, seven or eight years old. Ten, tops. Here, she looks like she's in her mid-20s!”
“Thanks to friendship,” Fake Cozy announced, “I can dispose of all the magic in Equestria and rule with an iron hoof! My master, Tirek, would be proud!” She then hugged herself.
“Oh, no, you won’t!” a group of voices called out.
A group of creatures appeared on stage. They were supposed to resemble the Student Six: Sandbar, Yona, Gallus, Silverstream, Ocellus, and Smolder. Twilight was relieved that they were somewhat accurate to the real ones.
“We’ve taken enough classes to know how to defeat bad guys like you!” the Fake Sandbar announced.
“Students of Friendship beam!” the Fake Student Six shouted.
A rainbow ribbon came out from behind the group and landed on Fake Cozy.
“Noooo!! I’ve been defeated by friendship!” Fake Cozy screamed as fog appeared around her. “Forgive me, Master Tirek!” Soon, she disappeared from the stage.
“See you in Tartarus, Curly Glow!” Fake Gallus said.
“It seems that I was mistaken,” Fake Neighsay said. “I was blinded by pony supremacy to realize other creatures could do such heroic acts, but thanks to Cozy’s antics, I’ve finally seen the light. Ponies and non-ponies should coexist peacefully.”
The crowd applauded as the curtains went down.
“I wonder if any of our former students are watching this play,” Fluttershy said.
“If they are, I doubt they’re likin' it,” Applejack replied.
The scene changed to the interior of the Canterlot throne room. The Fake Six, Spike, and Celestia entered the stage.
“Twilight,” Celestia said, “as you know, Equestria has started to enter a new era of peace ever since you’ve saved my sister...”
“I hate to see what Equestria was like before we came along,” Fake Spike snarked.
“...that is why my sister and I have considered passing the responsibility of ruling Equestria to you. From this day forth, you shall rule Equestria.”
The fake Twilight’s eyes widened. “Princess, a-are you sure I can handle such a big task?”
“Not to worry. Your friends will be there to help you.”
The Fake Six shared a group hug.
“Thank you, Princess,” Fake Twilight said. “I promise as long as I’m in charge and have my friends with me, nothing can go wrong.”
“3...2...1...” the real Spike counted down.
“Twilight!” Fake Discord said as he entered the stage. “I tried to get Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow reformed, but it failed and now they’ve joined up and are planning on destroying everything!”
“What?!” Real Twilight shouted.
“Surprise, motherlover!” a voice shouted.
Fake Tirek, Cozy, and Chrysalis entered the stage. Cozy had a fake horn on, Chrysalis had glowing armor, and Tirek didn’t have any significant changes from last time.
“It’s time for you and your friends to say goodbye to this world!” Cozy announced.
“This is what happens when you rely on friendship too much!” Chrysalis shouted.
“Now, you’ll see how pointless it really is!” Tirek thundered.
“No, you guys don’t understand,” Fake Twilight said. The group held each other's hooves. “Friendship is the most powerful thing there is. Friendship will always save the day. Friendship can defeat evil! Friendship. Is. Magic!”
A blinding flash filled the stage. Confetti and fog flew in. Once everything dissipated, the fake Troublesome Trio were back to their “normal” forms.
“You have two options here,” Celestia said to the downed enemies. “You can join Twilight’s friends and learn about friendship, or you can be turned to stone.”
“Turn us to stone! Turn us to stone!” Fake Cozy, Chrysalis, and Tirek shouted in unison.
Celestia shrugged. “If that’s your final choice...”
“Friendship beam!” the Fake Six shouted.
A giant rainbow ribbon flew from the girls and onto the group of villains. Smoke appeared as the bad guys were replaced by a cardboard cutout of a statue.
“Now that all the major villains have been neutralized,” Fake Twilight announced to the audience, “the magic of friendship will still live on! And with me as the ruler, Equestria will become an utopia of friendship for all creatures!”
The crowd applauded loud and long. The curtain dropped one last time.
“Is this the end of the play?” the real Fluttershy asked.
“I sure hope so,” Rainbow replied.
Luster Dawn appeared from the curtains once more.
“Thank you all for watching this play,” Luster said. “We hoped we'd entertained all of you. One of our actors mentioned how a familiar pony was watching this along with her friends. We hoped she liked this play, too. See you all again soon!”
The crowd applauded once again as the actors came to give a bow.
Later, the real Mane Six, Spike, and Li’l Cheese left the theater.
“We should’ve just had a picnic,” Twilight sighed.
“I can’t believe they projected us like that,” Fluttershy sighed.
“That play was terrible!” Rainbow Dash said. “I told you the Playwright Ponies mess everything up!”
“I agree.” Applejack nodded.
“Truly dreadful!” Rarity added.
“That was way different than I remember,” Pinkie complained.
“At least the effects were okay.” Spike shrugged. He then patted his body. “Oh, shoot. I think I left something back at the theater. You girls go on without me.”
“I’ll see you back at the boutique, Spikey.” Rarity kissed Spike goodbye and headed off.
Spike quickly dashed back to the theater. He noticed Luster Dawn exiting from the back door.
“Hey, Luster!” Spike called out.
“Ambassador Spike,” Luster waved. “Thank you for giving the Playwright Ponies and me the idea of doing your past adventures.”
“It was my pleasure. And I thank you for directing the play. Despite a few inaccuracies, I kinda enjoyed it. ”
“Did Princess Twilight and her other friends like the play? What were their reactions?”
“You should’ve seen their faces.” Spike chuckled. “I’d put it in the ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ category, but I don’t think the girls would have done the same.”
“I figured they’d react like that. I knew Mrs. Dash came to complain earlier, because her actor was acting very differently after the intermission.”
“Well, the slang she used was pretty outdated. I don’t think the real Rainbow Dash was even born when those terms were used.”
“Yeah, I was pretty vague when I told the actor to use slang words. I didn’t expect her to use words like that. It made even me cringe. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” Luster sheepishly giggled.
“Say, I have a new idea for the next play...if you want to hear it.”
“Sure thing.” Luster nodded. “What is it?”
“Well, since the part with Sunset Shimmer’s world was left out, I was thinking we could do a play similar to that. We could have a play about Twilight and her friends living in a world just like Sunset Shimmer’s. They’ll still be ponies, but they’ll have many different gadgets and stuff from that world.”
“That sounds interesting. What would we call it, though?”
Spike thought about it for a minute and then said:
“Pony Life!”
