You fell to your knee's, your arms splayed out onto the ground in front of you. How could you have gotten this far, only to fall at the very last moment? You did everything you could, using every tool in your arsenal to fight against Gehrman. Yet, the old hunter seemed to be more skilled than you in almost every way. You weren't prepared.

You chuckled to yourself, in your final moments. You had defeated many monsters. Ludwig was a great example. The towering beast scared you to death the first time you saw him. You ran out of his little arena as fast as you could, running all the way back to the safety that was the light-purple colored lamp. A shining beacon of this blood-ridden universe.

You sat up on your knee's, staring at Gehrman. You noticed that he wasn't smiling, but in-fact, frowning. Almost sad. You smiled underneath the mask that covered your mouth and nose, knowing that this would be your final moment. Gehrman slowly stepped behind you, each step feeling like it held the weight of the world. Now would be the time for you to reach for your blood vials, but you knew you had reached for them several times in the fight, and you had zero left.

The scythe's blade extended from behind you, the blade gently resting in front of you, on your shoulder.

"Hunter, do you have any parting words?" He asked you.

You smiled further. "You're a weird fucking creep, you know that? I'm pretty sure you fuck that doll of yours every-time I'm out and about, doing whatev-"

The world went dark in an instant. You knew that his movements, despite his age, were extremely fast. You didn't expect for him to cut you off though, and it made you a little mad that your speech about how weird his doll fetish was would never be realized. You shook your... wait, you don't have a head, remember?

What was going to happen?

Everything was still dark. You could feel what felt like eyes, but you didn't feel your body. Also, you couldn't blink. Despite being dead, that dry feeling you get when you kept your eyes open for too long still came. So, even in death, you can't escape life's bullshit. You smiled your non-existent smile, shaking your non-existent head. Life, even in death, would always catch up.

As soon as you were going to sing a song in your non-existent head, you felt the floor again.

Wood. You immediately extended your arms, feeling your small fingers. Your entire body tingled, like the first time you visited the Hunters Dream. You turned yourself over onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. There was a big chandelier, decorated with a blackish blue steel. The walls were covered in dark-purples, blues, and blacks. Several stars dotted the design, along with an incandescent moon in the very middle of it all.

Whoever decorated this did a very good job.

"Gehrman? Gehrman, you fuck, what did you do?" You yelled aloud, rolling onto your stomach and pushing yourself up to your feet. You could feel the all familiar weight of your kirkhammer on your back, something you had forgotten about. You reached your hand up to your back, where a giant, stone hammer was strapped. You grabbed the handle, and pulled hard, pulling a sword out of the hammer.

Now armed with your trusty sword, you took another look around. There was only a little light, coming in from a window nearby. It seemed to be...

Day? It hadn't been day in Yharnam eve-

"I will smite you, assassin, for you have stumbled into the wrong chambers!"

Uh oh.

You looked for the voice, to which a small, dark blue colored horse with... a horn, and wings stepped out of the darkness. Your eyes widened, staring at the figure, who had a levitating sabre next to herself. Your mind shot several images of Ludwig's disfigured form, his melted horse-figure with eyes protruding from every side.

You did what you did in that situation the first time you were met with it.

You ran like a little bitch.

"Come back here you- you evil-doer!" You heard from behind you as you had already bolted from the door of the room you had found yourself in, and began to ran down the long hallway. It was definitely day, you could tell, from the bright-shining, flaming ball in the fucking sky. You were not used to such bright light.

"Fuck off you mini-Ludwig piece of fuck!"

It was all that you could come up with. As you continued your sprint down the hallway, you noticed two other horse figures turning the corner. More?! Things were not looking good. There was only one way out of this predicament, and it was to take the side-door to the left of you.

Barging in with all your might, you found yourself to be in a cafeteria. It was a huge room, consisting of many chandeliers that hung overhead. This might be a perfect place to battle incase you needed to fight back, but the only problem was that... well...

There were currently, what seemed to be, hundreds of those mini-horse fucks sitting on the benches, some in armor. And, the best part about it? They were all currently staring at you. Strangely, the amount of eyes that were currently fixated on you wasn't what made you nervous. You dealt with that while fighting Ludwig. No, the thing that made you nervous was...

You didn't have any blood vials.

You've got to be in a nightmare, right? Micolash had to be up to this or something. The little fucker played around with you for hours on end, so doing this was probably just entertaining him. You thought you had killed him, but you thought wrong, you supposed.

"Micolash you fucking- oh my god I'm going to kill you!" You yelled into the air.

Soft footsteps were heard behind you, to which you turned to investigate. It was the dark-blue horse again, still with a levitating sabre at her side. "You dare threaten any of my subjects?!"

Oh god. If Micolash is her subject, does that mean that she's actually the one hosting the nightmare? All that time, fighting Micolash, was for fucking nothing?! It was her all along? "You wasted me fucking time forcing me to fight that freak with a bird-cage for a helmet. Let me guess, you're even weirder than he is, huh?"

"I know not of what you speak, assassin!"

"Oh really? Anyone would be able to point out that fuck! His weird cries and moans, and his obsession with this fucking nightmare! 'A hunter is a hunter, even in a dream!' God, I've heard that way too many times. I don't doubt that you have something else to say that is even more annoying, hm?!"

Whatever you had said, had seemed to change the horses attitude. Her face went from anger to intrigue and confusion. "Nightmare?"

"Where the fuck do you think we are?! Are you- are you playing dumb with me? Do you think i'm retarded or something? I swear, I'll beat the everloving shit out of you until you-"

"This isn't a nightmare. What are you speaking of?"

"There you go again- acting like a fucking idiot!" You said, raising your sword. You had enough with the talking. You were going to end this nightmare, find the lamp, and get back to Gehrman so I can finish all of this bullshit. God, you ARE more annoying than he is!" You yelled, forcing the sword straight towards her. It was deflected by her sabre, to which you responded with taking a step back.

You knew sooner or later, you'd have to deal with the onslaught of mini-ludwig's in the cafeteria. Your main focus was to eliminate the more persistent foe, that being mini blue-ludwig clone. She didn't seem to be angry, you noticed, but you didn't really care. With a couple of quick slashes in her direction, you managed to score a cut on her leg. It was tiny, barely able to spill blood, but it was a hit.

"Stop! You aren't in a dream, or a nightmare, I can assure yo-"

"Shut the fuck up!" You yelled. With your left hand, you searched your hip for your pistol, something that you had kept very close to yourself at all times. It was a most precious item, definitely. You had even given it a name, though other hunters seemed to laugh at you. You aimed 'Timmy' at the blue-ludwig, your finger on the trigger. You were just about to pull, when all of a sudden-

"Hey- what the fuck, give it!" You yelled, trying to grasp the levitating pistol. Within a matter of moments, it was atleast thirty feet in the air, an impossible height to reach for. With a groan, you slid your sword back into the slit of the hammer, pulling the hammer onto your shoulder. "Fine, I'll squish your ass then. You're not even a hundredth of the size of Ludwig!" You yelled, ready to swing the hammer in her direction, before everything went black.

Hey! Oh, wait, you can't speak.

You were either dead, or knocked out. Both of which would be bad. You hoped for the second, but you knew that there was really no way to tell. Being knocked out in a twisted, weird nightmare was probably not something that anybody would want happening to them. You could agree, but you were forced into the situation.

You shook your non-existent head like you did before. You didn't know how long you were going to be seeing the never-ending darkness, or how long you'd be in this twisted nightmare. It could be a long, long time, just like before. You really only had one regret.

You should've fucked that doll when you had the chance.

Author's Note

Let me guess. This wasn't what you were expecting at all, were you?

What, expecting a serious, dark tone bloodborne story? Pfft- you came to the wrong place! Also, it's supposed to be dumb, just saying. That's sort of the point of the story, something lighthearted for me to write about.

Though, that doesn't mean it'll always be comedy. There will be some serious moments, that's assured.

Hope you guys like this. Also, finger update: It's still healing, and by next week, it should be usable.