This world is so different from the one I know of. This world breathes kindness, yet that's what'll get it killed. Kindness does not fix hatred always, and in fact, hatred corrupts kindness. I've seen this too many times in Yharnam, but it seems like these ponies don't get it completely.

It's alright though. I can keep this façade of being strong just for a little longer. I have a plan, but I'm not sure if it will work. Messengers might not be applicable in this realm, but they're certainly a start. Nothing they make here will help me, so I need to find a way to bridge the gap between this world and mine. It might cause more problems, but it will be the only way to make sure they're safe.

I'm scared of going mad in this place. As beautiful as it is, I'm not sure if I can carry everyone upon my scarred back.

I'll try anyways.

"So... Your plan is to try to get one of these... 'messengers' to our world from yours?"

You sighed. "Yeah, or atleast try to. I don't know if it's going to work, but it just might. Messengers appear at death-spots of other Hunters and at points of interest. Yet I know an unknown way of contacting them. All I need is a paper, and quill. Or pencil. Whatever you have that I can write with. It's been awhile since I've done this, and I'm not so sure it'll work but if it does, I can get them to bring me items from my world."

Twilight nodded. "Well, since you're all suited back up and ready to go, why don't we head home?"

You shook your head. "I'm not really ready to be going home. Still on edge from the battle, and I'd rather not go anywhere near that place for now. Where could we get some paper though?" You asked, to which Twilight smiled.

"The library, of course!"

"Right... I'll go to the cafeteria while you go fetch me some paper and something to write with."

"But- Come on, it's just the Library-"

"Is the Library really a place where you want me to be?"

Twilight paused and then slowly nodded her head. "Right, I see what you mean."

"Exactly. Now off with you! Wait- where's the Cafeteria?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Once you exit this door, turn to your left and take the first door on your right. You'll know when you're there because it will say in very, very big letters; Cafeteria. You literally can't miss it."

"You obviously haven't met me. Now go! I just got some things to look at real quick and I'll head over to the Cafeteria."

Twilight exited the door without another world, leaving you to look through the small pouch you carried with you. With some random enchantment or curse, this pouch was able to hold an infinite number of things inside of it. How it worked, you didn't care. All you cared was that it was able to hold everything you needed. And what you were currently needing was another Hunter's mark.

You pulled the small paper symbol out of your pouch and looked at it. You had almost forgotten that you could contact the messengers, but it didn't prove to have any use in your world. Why would you need it? You could always return back to the dream, or contact them by the blood-stains of other Hunters. Yet now you were glad that you had this small trick up your sleeve, because if it worked you'd have your hands on a nearly infinite amount of material. Plus, with enough convincing, they'd probably be able to heft over some Blood gems to help you modify your weapons to be even stronger.

Though the conversation with Twilight and the other two Princess' that was bound to happen didn't make you feel very happy. Their world was already one of love and peace, and for them to eventually be told that you gain strength off of the blood and death of your enemies would probably freak them out. Or not. Either way, you knew it was going to have some sort of effect, and you weren't going to be able to dodge the questions either.

For in order to pay for something in Blood Echoes, or to strengthen yourself with Blood Echoes, you needed to transfer them into a physical form, which was a disturbing process for anyone who hasn't seen it happen already. In which a blood-stain forms on the users chest, and they have to reach inside and pull a solidified blood crystal filled with the amount of Blood Echoes they wanted to extract.

If you dodged their questions when they did that, they weren't going to be happy.

Yet either way they weren't going to be happy.

There was so much they didn't understand and not enough to explain it all. Most Hunters never discussed these things because they learned off of intuition, and didn't need things to be explained. Only the ones that really sought answers dove deep enough into the mold, but they were the ones that usually went insane first. Seeking answers usually didn't give you what you wanted and only gave you pain.

You knew that as much as anyone else. After the incidents in the Clocktower and the Fishing Hamlet, you swore to yourself that sometimes things are better left alone, as you now hold forever in your mind a scar. A scar so deep that it will never go away, no matter how many times you may die. It will be the last thing you remember before your inevitable and final death.

How do you tell them that you're built off of the blood of Eldritch-beings that were created after a failed religion sought out to create a 'fantastical all healing device' from the blood of gods? How do you explain to them that you're a killer, and not one who just does it because they have to? They probably already know that one, though. How do you tell them that you ate umbilical cords of a dead god turned infant, in order to summon the Eldritch God that disguised itself as the holy moon and kill it to stop what is essentially a never-ending nightmare? You didn't even get that far, though. You failed when Gehrman put you out of your misery.

Atleast, that's what he considered it. This in itself was a fate worse than death.

Some might not see it now, but you do. You would've been content at believing yourself to be nothing but a failure, and you were already nearing that point of acceptance. Yet forcing you to see a beautifully bright world get turned upside down by creatures from an Eldritch-ruined society ruin the lives of those here? That was torture. Especially knowing that you were only one man, and only capable of so much.

If this were a fairytale story, you'd be able to slay all of the monsters and save the day.

Yet you were on the brink of suicide before you fought Gehrman. You think of yourself as a failure, you hate that you can't save everyone, and you feel weak. Despite your accomplishments you knew that it was hardly because of your own hard work, but instead because you were afforded so many tries and the help of those around you. You were on the brink of being consumed by the Nightmare itself.

Which reminded you of the tiny voice you've heard ever since your battle with the Darkbeast.

A small, very quiet voice that nagged at the back of your head. You also sensed some sort of disturbance any time Luna would get close to you. Why would that happen? You didn't know. But you chalked it up to it being insanity, and insanity alone. You knew you weren't okay in the head, but you never really gave it some thought. The mindless killing of the beasts around you afforded you no time to think about these deep questions.

Is that why those that were considered Scholars in your world were the most dangerous creatures of all after they turned? They had time to look deep into themselves and found nothing but empty black holes piercing through what others may claim to be a 'soul', while some might claim to be 'essence of life'? You considered them the same.

You held the Hunter's Mark in your hand and left the room, heading straight for the Cafeteria and opening the door to it, ignoring everyone inside and taking a seat, staring down at the Hunter's mark. You were so deep in thought that you weren't paying attention to reality around you.

You found yourself caring about those around you, a concept most unfamiliar. You didn't know why; considering you got into arguments with Twilight already, had some sort of unknown disdain against Luna despite your initial liking towards her, and Celestia proving to be unknowing and thinking herself as someone who knows all knowledge and can do no wrong. Despite the things going on with Starlight and everybody else around you, you felt bad.

Scared. Alone. Terrified. Weak. Hateful. Spiteful. Blood-ridden. Monster. Ungodly. Damning. Creature.

Nobody.

That's what you were in the end, wasn't it? You weren't the first to fight Gehrman, and you certainly weren't going to be the last. You weren't the first to see the perils of the Fishing Hamlet, nor the last to fall to its terrible inhabitants. You weren't the first to revel at the sight of blood, and you weren't the last to take pride in killing another Hunter. You were the same as everybody else in your world.

Yet here you stood out!

Not in a good way.

You were an alien to everyone here, and a dangerous one at that. One with severe mental problems, and social disdain. You were born in the blood and molded by the blood, and yet the only thing you were sure of that everyone around you could see, was that you were a psychopath who was dedicated to killing things.

While that wasn't far from the truth, it wasn't the full truth.

You sighed, still staring at the Mark.

It helped you escaped many battles that you weren't prepared for. Whether it was against Hunters, regular beasts, or gigantic monstrosities that rivaled the Eldritch gods. Yet, funnily enough, it couldn't let you escape the one place that you might not want to escape from. Sure, you told yourself you didn't belong here but you certainly wanted to. You could adapt to this place, right?

No. You knew you wouldn't be able to. And this noble, idiotic, and naïve crusade to help the ponies here was going to get you killed, or something worse. You knew it was the fate you were going to be sealed with. Despite what Twilight might say, or despite what the Princess' may say, you know your road ends here. You just don't know when.

Focus! You've got no time to be dwelling on these matters.

What's the game plan?

Right. You know what you need to do. Contact the messengers and bridge both the worlds, even if it's only through them. That will give you valuable materials and supplies needed to take down any stronger beasts that make their way into this new world. After that, you need to find a way if there's a way to stop this. Perhaps the only way to stop this is to simply leave, but there's go guarantee. Thirdly, you need to get-

Pain.

Your mind stops thinking and you look around. There's no one around you. That was in your head. It's the same tone of the last voice, yet it's gotten louder now. What did it say? Pain? Why would it say that? And what the hell does it mean?! You shake your head, telling yourself you'll go see Celestia, Twilight or some professional about this-

I can feel your pain.

and- "STOP!" You yell out loud, causing those in the cafeteria to look over at you with confused faces. You shake your head, waving a dismissive hand at them and letting your head rest on the table, your eyes closing. There's something in your brain and it's making you go crazy. Maybe you have too much Insight? There were always stories about knowing too much of the blood-born beasts in your world would cause one to go insane. Maybe it's that?

I can help you.

"No, you can't, you insane fuck. You can't help yourself worth a damn."

All you need to do is accept my help. Luna did, and she was so close to her end goal.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" You question.

Let me in, Anon. Let me see the world through your eyes, and I shall let you see it through mine.

"Stop."

You don't want these ponies so close to you to get injured. You want the creatures from your world gone. I can help with that. I come from this world, a world filled with magic. I can devise something to... aid you.

Your mind paused, shaking it once again. "You're from this world? How do I know you're not some part of my fucked conscious?"

Could your conscious do this?

Suddenly the piece of paper on the table moved, causing you to open your eyes and look at it. It was floating lazily before it slowly fell back onto the table. You looked around to see if anyone noticed, and they hadn't. "What... the fuck. How? I don't understand..."

I am weak without a hos-... Without someone to connect to me. This, is as much as I can do right now.

"Okay, then what about all the shit about Luna?"

She and I were very close. We spent a long time together, and she was a very good pony. Yet before she could reach her goal she folded like a simple chair. You are not so simple. You understand that you are not the same as everypony else. You understand what you're born to do, and that, I can certainly use to help you.

Suddenly, Twilight walked into the cafeteria. As soon as she walked in you could feel something in your chest heat up, and you could feel anger coursing through your veins for only a quick moment before it dissipated. You stared at her, confused at yourself at what just happened.

Consider my proposal. It would be beneficial to both of us if you let me help.

A moment later it disappeared, and Twilight sat in front of you, her eyebrows raised. "Are... you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just peachy." You lied, shaking your head. "You got me some paper? Took you awhile."

"It was pretty hard to convince the Librarian to hand me some of her quality paper, but it was done."

"Really?" You asked. "You, a princess, had to convince a librarian?"

"Librarians are harsh." Twilight said with a shrug, using her magic to give me the paper. "It's in our blood."

You shook your head and placed the Hunters mark onto the paper, pressing down onto the Hunters mark. The bottom of the Mark began to sizzle, and you then took it off the paper. It had seared its print onto the paper, and with a pen that Twilight passed you a moment after, you began to write words on it.

Nuntiorum suorum complens;
qui vocat vos sicut est luna,
lux ex hoc mundo lucet,
et suus 'significatur in nostro mundo.

"Alright, it's set."

Twilight looked at the words you wrote and gave you a confused look. "What language is this?"

"Pthumerian, or Latin. Same language. Specifics doesn't matter, but I can't drop this paper until we're somewhere that we want to summon the messengers. We need it to be somewhere where we can access it occasionally, but nowhere too in public."

Twilight nodded, thinking of a place. "We can... Oh! The back of the garden! It's sealed off from visitors and only a select few ponies can get inside. Come on, I'll show you." She says, trotting off and out of the cafeteria.

You make sure to not drop the paper. If you were to do so, it would summon the messengers wherever the paper landed, and likely permanently. That's if it were to work. You make your way outside of the cafeteria and you follow Twilight in silence as she loops around a hallway and enters a gated door that led into the inner courtyard/garden. You were now in the back of the garden, where she had just said.

"Right here. Nopony is ever going to come here without something tempting them."

"Like disgusting-looking messengers?"

Twilight shook her head. "They can't be that bad, can they?"

You chuckled. "Oh they're horrid, and don't you ever let them catch you saying that. Creepy fuckers will crawl out of their little puddle and chase on after you. Well, I guess here goes nothing?" You question before letting the paper drop to the floor. You both stared at the paper, resting on the green grass.

"Well?" She asked.

"Well, shit."

"What?"

You shrug. "Didn't work, I guess-"

Suddenly a flash of light appears from the paper and it's sucked into the ground, where a massive blood puddle began to form and a disgusting little creature popped its head out from underneath. Then, another, and then another, until there were five heads popping out of the little blood-puddle, all making weird groaning sounds.

"Oh..." Twilight said, before shaking her head, reminding herself of what you said. "Oh- they're just.. wonderful! So... adorable..."

"Easy princess, don't need to pander to them. Hey guys, what the hell happened to the hat I gave you all?"

They groaned in response to you.

"What did they say?" Twilight asked.

"What, you can't understand them?"

"They just groaned."

"First off, rude, second off, they said they lost it. What, you can't understand them, for real?"

Twilight shook her head.

"Huh... Well, I'm just glad the fuckin' thing worked. Listen here boys, we've got a problem. This isn't the world you're used to-"

The groaned again.

"You... already know? Well, shit, saves me the speech. Look, I need some things done that I can't do myself. Transposing my Echoes, getting blood gems, stuff like that. Think you little guys can do any of that for me?"

They all nodded in unison to your question.

"Great! I'm glad we've got a deal. I need a full restock on Blood Vials, as much fire and electricity paper you can get me, a full restock on bullets, eight bags of Ash, and as many antidotes as you can get me. How much will that cost me?"

They groaned once again, causing Twilight to just sit there, confused as all hell.

"That's... a lot, but I can do it. I've got a shit ton at the moment that I've been stocking up, but there's no reason to really save them. Oh- shit, Twilight, I forgot you were here." You said, looking over at her. "Look I uh... I've got to explain a few things. You see, these things that I'm buying cost a certain type of currency but one you're not familiar with."

"What do you mean?" She asked, more curious than disturbed.

"They're called Blood Echoes... I get them from, well, when I kill something. It's the life-force and the screams of their souls turned into blood shards that I can basically inhale and turn into currency. I... advise you to look away for this part, because I'm going to have to extract the Blood Echoes from myself."

"No- no this is interesting!" She said, causing you to shake your head in confusion. You thought she was going to be completely weirded out by this, but it turned out you were wrong. "You only get to see this stuff every once in awhile, and despite me wanting to research blood magic, Celestia has-"

"DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH BLOOD MAGIC!" You yell at her, causing her to back up significantly. "You aren't an expert with it like I am. It's only dangerous if you fuck with it! Hell, it's the entire reason my world is nearly extinct and filled with fuck-all monsters! Fear the blood, fear the old blood damnit!"

She certainly looked fearful, to which you sighed. "Look, I don't mean to scare you... It's just that- you don't know what you're doing. And research never ends well. You'll only end up worse of a monster by the end of it all. Leave it buried forever, or pay the consequences. Now, I need to pay for this stuff so if you'll excuse me-"

You reached into your own chest, where a blood-hole formed, and you slowly pulled out a shard of solidified blood. Strings of skin and other innards warped around your hand as you pulled it out, and once it was fully out the hole closed. You looked at Twilight who looked absolutely mortified.

"Twilight, I tried to warn you-"

She screamed.

You sighed, cradling Twilight in your arms. "I warned you, okay? I'm sorry- I know.. It's gross- but look at the bright side! I've got all that I've need for the time being so you don't have to worry about seeing me do that again for like.. awhile!"

Twilight sighed. "I know- I know... It's my fault. I haven't seen something so disturbing like that before. Reaching into your own chest and pulling out a blood shard while your entire innards just... moved around you like liquid? It was disgusting! Super, super disgusting!"

"Well jeez- fine, I'll just sleep on the couch!"

"Noooo!"

You shook your head, reaching into your pouch to feel all the supplies you had gotten giving it some weight. "I'm just glad that I got the things I need. This will make putting those abominations to sleep much easier. And hey, to hopefully get you to forgive me for self-mutilating myself for a few seconds, take this." You say, taking out a small piece of blue paper.

"What's that?"

"Electric paper. Same thing as fire paper but it'll make the end of anything you wipe it on burst with electricity for several minutes. It's handy when killing things and- well, you'd probably be able to find some sort of other use for it than I could ever think of. My old battle-ridden mind isn't exactly on the same level as that researcher brain of yours. But if I ever tell you to leave something alone, you leave it alone, got it?"

She nodded, but you continued. "Believe me, that's how my people ended. We decided to fuck with Pthumerian knowledge we knew nothing about and tried to extract blood of things we didn't understand. Built a society upon the very basis of the blood, and the blood ended up fucking us in the ass without lube. Now my entire world is fucked, and hurting from the absolute ass-ramming that the blood gave us. The damn scholars were a bunch of idiots. And not just because of the blood.

"They fucked with another Eldritch got after that, beating it to death, only to have it's only fucking child crawl out of the still-steaming womb of its mother and fight me to the death. I killed a baby god, and it's because of some college students who didn't know what they were fucking with. I'll tell you, scholars are usually idiots. Wanting to fuck with things they don't understand and forgetting that their pursuit of knowledge could hurt everyone and everything around them. Don't end up like that Twilight, please. It won't end well for you or anyone around you.

"It will only cause you pain and suffering, and ruin everything you built up. You career, you credibility, and probably your life. If something tells you to leave it alone, you do exactly that and you leave it alone. If someone knows more than you, trust them on that specific subject instead of pursuing it. Okay?"

She carefully nodded.

"Sorry, I just... The more I think about my home, the more I realize what a tragedy it all really was. How it could've been prevented, and how there's nothing I can do to reverse the outcome anymore..."

I feel my mind slipping each second that I spend in this world. I feel myself getting more and more anxious at what I am going to have to do, the pain that I'm going to endure and the trouble that will come with it. This voice in the back of my head beckons to allow me to ask for it's help, yet how can I really trust it?

Am I going insane? Or is this a genuine creature, giving me its gracious hand in order to pull myself and everyone around me up with it?

Maybe I should accept it. Maybe I should allow it to see the world through my eyes and allow me to see it through theirs.

We'll see. If I get desperate enough, I just might.

You were currently on a train back to Ponyville, despite what you had wanted to do earlier. It was only going to be a quick trip down there and then right back up. You needed to look at the damage, to see it for yourself and to see if anything of value was left there. Any clues. Anything! Anything at all to describe why the Darkbeast looked different and was much more vicious, and as to why these creatures were appearing.

Then, that creature from before popped in your head. The one in the forest, holding the bell. A spirit of chaos Twilight said he was. You didn't understand exactly what that meant or entailed, but you assumed it wasn't going to be good. She acted as if it was just another fucking wednesday, but you knew more than she did. He was summoning those things, intentionally or not. Perhaps he really didn't know what he was doing, but you were sure that he most likely did.

You look outside the window that you were currently sat next to, Twilight on the opposite side of the traincar, currently reading her own book. You admired the bright colored world, and you were growing fond of it already. Though sometimes, very rarely, a flashing image popped in your head of the bloody streets of Yharnam, the corpses that littered that world and the screams and howls of beasts and men.

Those memories chilled you down to your core, which brought you to be even more confused. Why were you suddenly feeling... scared from these memories? You were living them only a little while ago. Perhaps it was because you never had time to think about it.

That seemed to be a pattern with everything lately.

You hated your brain. You hated your wandering mind. You hated it all! Fuck everything! You're done with this shit!

You look over to Twilight, and you shake your head. You certainly aren't done. If you were you'd be leaving her and everybody else here in the dust. You sigh quietly as to not attract attention from her, and look back out the window, letting your arm sit on the small ledge of the window, your chin resting on top of it.

"Hunter, do you have any parting words?" He asked you.

You closed your eyes, a myriad of voices flowing through your head.

"Oh, a hunter, are ya? And an outsider? What a mess you've been caught up in. And tonight, of all nights."

"Just go out and kill a few beasts. It's for your own good. You know, it's just what hunters do! You'll get used to it..."

"Thank you kindly. Now I may sleep in peace. Even in this darkest of nights, I see... the moonlight..."

"Now I'm waking up, I'll forget everything..."

"Please, do not abandon me... I promise to do good..."

"Yes, I see... I can wait. I won't be afraid. I know, I do. The morning always comes."

"Never ends, does it?" You whisper to yourself. With each voice you remember a face, and with each face you remember a terrible fate that befell them. There wasn't happy endings in Yharnam. There wasn't happiness in the faces of those still left unchanged by the blood, and there was certainly no path they could walk except understanding their fate of turning into a beast.

You think back to when you first arrived here. You were humorous, and you were certainly willing to keep that little façade up for quite awhile. But as time went on, even just for a little bit, you felt yourself feeling the weight of the situation. You weren't able to joke like this. You weren't able to think of yourself as just another comedian, warped into another realm of happy go lucky unicorns and rainbows huzzah!

You couldn't do that.

Oh-ho, whacky hunter with another joke about drinking blood! Woaahh~!

You couldn't do that either.

Your tone was different. You felt yourself changed to the very core, and you could tell it wasn't a good thing either. You knew something bad was going to happen, you just didn't know when or who it was going to happen to. Perhaps yourself? You hadn't really had any catastrophic failures of your own, except for befriending Gehrman, the damn bastard.

"That piece of shit deserves to be put down like the nasty dog he is for what he's done..."

"Hm?" You turned around to see Twilight looking at you. You wave her a hand.

"Bah, don't worry about it. It's nothing you should concern yourself with. How long until we're there do you think?"

Twilight tilted her head to the side in thought. "Well... I wouldn't say that long. Maybe another ten minutes or so. This train is quite slow compared to the others, that's why it's much cheaper to ride. Not like bits particularly mattered to a Princess, but it was the only train that was there when we were willing to leave. Why do you ask?"

You shake your head before giving her a false smile. "Just wanted to know. The peace and quiet on here is soothing."

The peace and quiet were anything but soothing.

"I know, right? It's one of the few things I love about libraries. Peace, quiet, and books."

You falsely chuckled. "Yeah. It's nice to just let go. I could get used to this."

You could never get used to this. You could never let go.

"Well, get used to it for another ten minutes. I'm going to get back to reading."

"And i'll get back to thinking."

You set yourself back up to the windows tiny ledge once again, burying your face into the crease of your arm and closing your eyes as tightly as possible, the feeling of tears welling up inside them. You weren't able to stop thinking about it. You couldn't stop- nothing you did stopped it. The quietness of the train didn't help, and even keeping your eyes open didn't stop the flashing images from appearing in your mind.

You couldn't let Twilight know this though. You needed to be strong. You can't show weakness.

Weakness is cowardice. You are no coward.

You are no coward.

You are strong. You are something to fear.

You are strong. People always feared you.

Give me a chance and I will help you.

You think about giving it a chanc-

"No!" You whispered to yourself, banging your head into your arm. You weren't going to fall for that! It was tricking you.

The tears came faster now.

"It's never going to go away..."

Author's Note

Been awhile, hasn't it? Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my stories! Life is just a pain in the ass right now and writing hasn't been as prioritized as other things. Hope this tiny tiny bit longer chapter will sate you all.