The Pawn Who Would Be Queen

Sunlight poured through the windows, and while that usually would've brought a sense of happiness to Luna's day, it was not so on this occasion. Now, the joyful sun only served to highlight a far less pleasant aspect. The sun kept shining, the world kept moving, not once pausing to acknowledge the pain present in the many lives around the planet. The light of day could at times produce an unfeeling, unsympathetic realm, often home to more cruelty than there was compassion... Now, the Princess would need to raise a child in that very same realm, and the enormity of her choice that fateful night weighed upon her shoulders with all the monolithic momentousness of the moon itself.

At one time long ago Luna was considering becoming a parent, but nothing ever came of it. Primarily because she was unsure such a thing was even possible for a nigh-immortal being of her sort, among other more painful and personal reasons. The thought of bringing someone into the world, to raise them and nurture them into adulthood, only to watch them grow old and fade while she remained forever young was... Unthinkable. So why then did she take it on now? Luna couldn't quite say, except perhaps for the awakening of that repressed maternal instinct. The reasoning was really academic in retrospect, the fact remained that a frightened teenager, much as Luna once was those many centuries ago, would rely on her for care and guidance... A fact that made the world's failings seem all the more pronounced.

So Princess Luna quietly paced in the hallway outside of her sister's room, her hand placed on her chin as she hummed, as was typical when the Regent of the Night became ingrained in deep thought. Nearly three weeks had passed since she'd first had a chance to communicate with Orzel through Twilight Sparkle, and in that time the girl receded more and more into a reclusive nigh-uncommunicative state of catatonia. She seldom ate or drank, nor did she answer the door of her own accord. Typically the Castle staff would leave a tray on her desk and return in a few hours... More often than not that tray would be recovered untouched. Some days the tray would find its way to the center of the desk, though in these cases Orzel ate little more than a few bites.

The only constant appetite Orzel so far displayed was her voracious desire for books. In most instances she would read them faster than they could be translated to Kwarczkie. While this was likely in part thanks to her newly clarified vision, it didn't explain the girl's ability to not only take in such vast quantities of information, but also apparently understand that same information. This was evidenced by the various notebooks filled with meticulously cataloged findings, written of course in the girl's archaic mother tongue. Needless to say, it raised some questions.

The reading obsession usually wouldn't have been of much concern to Luna, if anything at first it had seemed a healthy way for the teen to put her mind at ease. Yet more and more the subjects Orzel requested, typically by way of written note, strayed from what Luna would expect of a girl her age, at least a typical Equestrian teenager. She'd become particularly enamored with engineering, chemistry, and alchemy. Her main focus, the one on which she read most frequently, appeared to be the field of enchanting. From what Luna gathered in her few chances to observe, much of the technology taken for granted by Equestria simply didn't exist in Orzel's homeland of the 'Szafirian Empire'.

There were no factories, no automobiles, and certainly nothing akin to 'Modern Medicine'. Honestly, Luna wasn't surprised to learn that many Imperial 'Doctors' still made use of leeches, or prescribed 'medicines' that in Equestria would be termed as highly addictive narcotics at best and literal poison at worst. They did possess firearms, indeed the Military was the only technological field where Equestria and the Empire seemed close... Even then, the Empire had only just started to transition to 'cap-lock' muskets.

On the ever increasing occasions where books weren't fully available, Orzel would instead work on a model of ESS Magnus, one of the few remaining fully rigged ships in the Equestrian Navy, though technically the only one still in commission. The others would soon go to from the mothball fleet to the breakers, and with them would go the last wooden hulled warships ever built by Equestria.

Luna briefly wondered just what about the model of the obsolete frigate so passionately consumed the girl's fascination, what could drive her to take such care of an amalgamation while neglecting her own personal well being? Whatever the cause, Orzel's attention to detail was as meticulous and precise as a watchmaker, with an even smaller margin for error. From keel to crow's nest, there wasn't a single rigging line out of place, nor trace of sprew, nor errant drop of adhesive. The Princess doubted if even the real ESS Magnus was constructed with such minute care. If only the girl would take as much care in herself as she did with her model, then Luna might not be so consumed with fear the girl would need to be hospitalized. To say she'd been frail upon her arrival would be an understatement. While by no means starving, the girl's diet was undoubtedly poor.

When Luna wasn't worrying over if Orzel was eating enough, she was reading and familiarizing herself with the Kwarczkie lexicon provided by a rather shaken Twilight Sparkle. Given all that had transpired following that first nerve racking day, the young mage was handling herself with dignity and restraint. The assistance of Celestia's prized pupil was proving instrumental, and with it Luna was able to more or less master the long dead draconic dialect with relative ease. While she could now speak directly to Orzel, that development mattered little, as the obstacle presented by the girl's unwillingness to talk was not so easily dealt with. The idea of just doing nothing while Orzel secluded herself from the rest of the world tore relentlessly at Luna's heart, but she had no idea how to approach the problem. This was why Luna now quietly marched the floor outside of Celestia's bedroom, thinking pensively on just what to say...

The door opened abruptly, snapping Luna from her silent pacing in order to face a visibly concerned Celestia. There she stood in the doorway, staring at Luna with that worried glint, a feature almost distinctly unique to the elder sister. The woman crossed her arms, wings fluttering with uncertainty in the soft warm breeze blowing through the room. It came by way of the open door at the other side of the chamber, leading out onto a balcony upon which many a serious discussion had been held. Luna lowered her hand from her chin, instead clasping her hands behind her back as she faced her sister directly. She couldn't hope to hide her worry, especially under the discerning gaze of Celestia.

"I've been listening to you pace back and forth for half an hour. You're going to wear a rut in the floor at this rate, Luna..." Celestia said gently before gesturing with her head into the room. "I have some time before I'm needed elsewhere, come in, let's talk..." Luna sighed, but wordlessly agreed and walked through the doorway, closing the door behind her. The faint hint of vanilla was one that helped to sooth Luna's mind, the aroma doubtless originating from a series of candles that burned dimly in the darker portions of the room.

Celestia's bed chamber was decorated as one would expect of a Solar Princess. Bright gold painted walls, adorned with numerous cheerful paintings of happy people and brilliant vistas, images that usually had a strange capacity for setting one's mind at ease. This time, however, that distinct calming effect was frustratingly absent. At the center of the chamber resided an immense bed, bearing an eight pointed sun at the center of its bedspread. Opposite the bed sat a cluster of sofas around a fireplace, separated by a stout oak coffee table. A large mahogany desk took up the space nearest the balcony window, as well a Princess deserved, mahogany being the most superior of all woods. The many papers and tiny decorations resting thereupon, the latter having been provided by Celestia's own fascination for indistinct curios, were illuminated by the sunlight that filtered its way through the thin curtain fabric.

Beside the bed rested a golden birdcage with its door open... With Celestia's phoenix familiar Philomena being notably missing. Crossing towards the open balcony door, Luna did her best not to speculate on where the little monster could be hiding. It wasn't that she hated the bird, she hated the fire that generally accompanied its presence... Specifically as it pertained to her carefully hand drawn plans for new constellations. Luna shook her head as they passed the desk, there were currently larger problems to be concerned with than the location of her sister's winged fire hazard. Exiting onto the balcony, Celestia leaned against the wrought iron railing, her back to the city, while Luna stopped just a few feet from the door... Hesitant to go any further.

"I trust your concern's are with Orzel?" Celestia probed, Luna nodded silently before taking a few tentative steps towards the edge of the balcony, looking out over the city as the morning sun continued its steady march across the sky. It wasn't that she was afraid of heights, or even falling from said heights, more it was a reluctance to place herself outside... Where the Public might be watching. Heavens forbid a passing paparazzo pegasus happened to catch sight of her at just the wrong moment. "I've heard from the cleaning staff in that wing that she refuses to leave her room, the kitchen staff also mention she's hardly touching her food..."

"That is correct, Sister..." Luna responded, sighing through her nose as she watched the city streets below. How simple and distant the world seemed from that great height, so far removed from the hustle and bustle of the day to day. "She has been reading almost as prodigiously as young Twilight Sparkle, if not equally so... She refuses to speak, refuses to eat or drink, I sense she is not sleeping either." Her sister hummed at that, turning to look at the city for herself. "It has been... Difficult to watch." Luna admitted, lacing her fingers together and lowering her eyes. "I do not know what to do, Celestia. She is in pain, and I am powerless to help her."

"I know the feeling..." Celestia nodded, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder. "You were near catatonic when we lost Mom and Dad." Luna looked to the side, meeting Celestia's eyes for a few moments before they returned to their downcast direction. As she'd thought on so often before, the loss of their parents struck Luna particularly hard. At the time being cut off and alone, in some small part Luna resented Celestia for having 'more time' with them. She didn't hold such resentments any longer, but they'd certainly proved to be motivators in certain 'mistakes' Luna made so very long ago. "Everyone processes grief differently, Luna, but I think you're perfectly justified to be concerned about how Orzel is acting. Perhaps we should find her a counselor?"

"How many qualified counselors do you know of that are also fluent in dead Draconic dialects?" Luna asked doubtfully, Celestia merely gave her sister's shoulder a squeeze, something that comforted the Princess. While both women had lived for numerous centuries, there was still a part of herself that Luna saw as the same frightened and shy girl so desperately in need of her sister's help, and now finally she was receiving that help. It felt... Nice.

"I am not saying such a thing is not an option, but I fear she may need more immediate intervention." Continued Luna, taking a deep breath. Her becoming Nightmare Moon was only the second biggest mistake she'd ever made, the first having happened far earlier than that, one that would've had far more permanent effects... Luna did her best not to dwell on that portion of her life, when she'd been in an abyss of emotional turmoil from which she'd seen no possible escape, save one. While she no longer suffered that deeply, recent events had nonetheless yanked those memories back into the spotlight. "You recall, not long after the accident, I nearly did something foolish. Had you not interceded, I..."

"You were in a dark place, Luna, and I wasn't much better off. I was barely nineteen, had to run a country with no idea what I was doing, and look after you, also with no idea what I was doing? It's... Well... " Celestia's features softened, and Luna was surprised to feel her sister suddenly wrap her in a hug. It was warm and comforting, as hugs are want to be, but in that moment it carried far more meaning. "We made it through, together, and together we'll find a way to help Orzel before it ever gets that bad." Luna nodded, accepting the hug silently. "I'll enlist Twilight Sparkle's help, perhaps she will be able to create a translation spell. In the meantime, I believe it would be wise to set aside at least an hour or two a day to spend with Orzel... Help her build a routine, show her that you're here for her, that she's safe here, and that you're not going anywhere." Celestia broke off the hug, going back to lean against the railing. "I would do so as well, but I am not as knowledgeable in Draconic dialects..."

"I shall endeavor to make time..." Agreed Luna, watching a pair of guards making their way along the perimeter wall below. From this high up they looked almost like ants, the only indication of their status being the glittering ceremonial armor that reflected the morning light. Meanwhile the city continued to drone on in the background, entirely indifferent of whatever happened atop that lofty balcony. "I am also going to contact the Draconic Institute, they may have more information as to what the Kwarczkie were like. If Orzel is a Drake, that may present some challenges as she matures..."

"Allow me to worry about the future, Luna..." Celestia insisted, patting her sister on the back once again. "For now, focus on the present, like getting her to eat." Luna nodded silently, keeping her eyes on the marching guards. They were a symbol of royalty to many people, staunch and brave, loyal to Country and Crown...

That symbolism presented yet another challenge in Orzel's already complicated future, one that couldn't be ignored. Luna had given little thought to how her status as a Princess would affect Orzel, there simply hadn't been enough time to make such choices, as the adoption was a spur of the moment affair. It wasn't right, in Luna's view, to expect so much of someone Orzel's age so suddenly. She'd certainly never been prepared for a 'royal' life prior to her arrival, but as Orzel was likely all too aware, life wasn't known for being fair. In time, hopefully time enough to sort through the trauma and grief, Orzel would likely be forced to take up royal duties. Luna doubted it would be a simple matter of bestowing a title and calling it a day...

The woman shook her head, taking a deep breath and trying to clear her thoughts. Typically she could keep her mind from spiraling so far ahead into the future, something that in the past had lead to numerous sleepless nights. Indeed, a familiar ache had started to make itself known in her lower back, joined by an unpleasant pressure on her shoulders. There was no physical malady at play, or course, it was all in her head. Yet even acknowledging that fact did little to lessen the radiating discomfort. As per usual, Celestia picked up on her sister's sudden lapse into silence with the deductive acuity of a bloodhound.

"Is there something else on your mind, Luna?" Celestia asked curiously, silence reigned as Luna briefly considered voicing her concerns. It probably would be a necessary discussion in the future, but Celestia's balcony was neither the time, nor the place. How could she even contemplate such a decision while the girl in question barely ate or slept, there was enough stress on the poor child already. So the woman shook her head, stepping back from the railing and rolling her shoulders in a futile attempt to alleviate the pressure on her lower back.

"Indeed there is." Luna stated simply, straightening the fabric of her gown. "However, while it is a matter I believe bears discussion, the timing is not appropriate." Celestia was visibly unsatisfied at the answer, but ultimately accepted it, much to Luna's relief. "For the moment, I believe it prudent to begin building that 'routine' you mentioned. If you will excuse me?" Celestia nodded, giving Luna one final hug, which Luna readily returned. It was one of the many simple joys of her return, speaking to her sister again, being part of a family. Hopefully, if things went well, she could return some semblance of that feeling to her ailing ward...

The steady mechanical 'tick-tock-tick-tock' of Orzel's clock was a bit louder now that it resided upon her desk. It was a strange little contraption that, according to the book's she'd read, operated through a series of gears and springs in order to keep time to a far more accurate approximation than a sun dial. Originally, the girl had taken the wooden device down from the shelf and set it on her desk with the intention of stopping its incessant noise. However, as she opened the back panel, she'd been fascinated to see just how intricate the cogs and gears within were. Each had been perfectly crafted to interface with its partner, all in service of keeping a consistent pace. Remove just one, no matter how seemingly insignificant, and the entire assembly would cease to function. Replace that part, make a few adjustments, and the clock would be keeping time just as before.

The Equestrians were some of the most technologically advanced people Orzel had ever seen, from their tailored spectacles to the elegantly complex clock that sat before her, she'd never seen such things in utopian abundance before. In the Empire, only those few people with political power or vast wealth could posses such things, if they even existed. There were no 'pocket watches', no 'anti-biotics', and certainly no 'mass production' to create such things in immense quantity. If the Empire had been so advanced, perhaps the Imperial Legion might have stood a better chance against the wretched beasts... Yet for as much as the Equestrian's used magic, they seemed almost equally as adept in the field of engineering.

That was fortunate, as for reasons unknown to her she'd been overcome by a sudden urge to throw herself into the scientific fields with reckless abandon, reading any book she could get her hands on. She couldn't explain it, but from somewhere deep inside their came an instinctual need to learn and expand her knowledge as much as conceivably possible. That in doing so she also took her mind away from the grief was just a bonus. Machines were far less mysterious than magic, and there was a whole host of authors and studies to make them even easier to understand. They were designed with a specific purpose in mind, they carried out that purpose, and when they broke down they were generally easy to repair. If only people could be so easily restored...

Orzel silently stared at the rotating gears and flexing springs, the room nearly silent save for that same annoying ticking sound. If her Mother had been more like the clock, if she'd been born with replaceable parts, maybe she could have been saved. It was a foolish notion, even the Equestrians couldn't miraculously replace body parts, and she doubted such a thing would ever be possible... The girl shook her head, fearing that if she remained on the subject any longer she'd lose what little progress she'd made.

Oddly, the field of technology had been helping her to understand the far less 'concrete' field of enchanting, which itself was the least mystical of all the Arcane schools. Like her urge to learn about machines, the field of Enchanting was bizarrely easy to comprehend, despite never having so much as seen a magic textbook before coming to Equestria... It felt as if portions of her mind, resting dormant for her entire life, were beginning to awaken. Other aspects of life, those that were based far more in the realm of the intangible, had by extension become far more difficult to comprehend... As if there were two sides of her brain, seemingly locked in a bitter struggle for dominance, and Orzel couldn't fathom which would ultimately prevail. She hoped, secretly, that the technical side came out on top... Technology was far easier to understand, after all...

For example, magic, as far as Orzel could figure, was much like the 'electricity' that powered Equestrian factories and street lamps. Runes replaced circuits, Arcanium dust and Alicornium powder replaced wiring, and magic itself replaced electrical current... What so confounded Orzel was why those few books she'd found on the subject had to muddy the core concepts with such flowery terms like 'spirit' and 'heart'. If those intangibles of enchanting were difficult to understand, then the nature of 'regular' magic was completely beyond her, with its constant referrals to 'making contact with your true self'... What in blazes did that even mean? Orzel had to wonder if certain titles were actually incorrectly placed in the 'Non-Fiction' section. Magic was an interesting enough topic already, there was no need for it to be couched in superfluous superstition and 'hocus pocus'.

Orzel quietly sighed, closing the clock's rear panel and setting it atop a growing pile of books that dominated much of her desk space. In addition to teaching her about machinery and mathematics, they had been gradually expanding her vocabulary. Any word she didn't understand was simply looked up in the 'Dictionary' she'd been provided fairly early on. With any luck, her vocabulary would become like the clock. Precise, proper, and wonderfully complex... Then, maybe, she'd write her findings on magic as clearly and succinctly as possible, and efficiently make clear that unnecessarily complex field of study. There was some silver lining to attempting to decipher just what in Vindicta's glorious name any of the authors were talking about, however. That came in the form of the time she spent trying to figure out what they actually meant, which allowed for Orzel's sadness and frustration to fade into the background.

Watching the second hand gradually work its way around the clock face, there were no books to consume Orzel's attention, no new words to delve into... She'd read every book within her room at least once, some more than three times. Prior to receiving her spectacles, reading had always been a chore, and much as Orzel enjoyed learning new things it seldom seemed worth it. Every line of text required a great deal of squinting and adjusting of the page, often times having to lean so close that her nose touched the paper. She could never hope to read at a decent pace, that was for certain. Now, with her trusty spectacles on her nose, that pace was increasing exponentially.

While at first an exciting opportunity, with plenty of books and all the time in the world to read them, it carried with it an unforeseen sort of curse. Orzel's mind was flooded with new knowledge and ideas, ideas that were starting to conflict with all she'd ever learned growing up. The teachings of the Empire and the Vindictan Church were being challenged in a manner that, like so many other things in Equestria, would warrant a 'friendly' visit from the Agents of the MIS. What was more, she was reading books faster than new ones could be provided, leading to numerous hours where she was left with little to do but stare at the clock. She'd dealt with that, at least somewhat, by the procurement of her beloved model ship.

The model in question sat atop another one of her books, and it too was just another bizarre product of Equestrian technology. Where Father's models were painstakingly crafted from wood, the one that sat before her now was comprised of something called 'plastic'. It required a foul smelling glue to put together, and yet despite its stench, the glue evidently worked extremely well. In fact it adhered with enough strength that Orzel had wound up with her fingers stuck together upon first trying to use it. She'd managed to deduce the means of unsticking herself with the aid of one of her chemistry books, as well as with a few chemicals she'd commandeered from the bathroom adjacent to her bedchamber. With new found respect for the impressive adhesive, Orzel was able to put together the bulk of the model in a rather short amount of time...

Now, all that remained was to paint it. As there was little else for her to do, Orzel opted to do precisely that, taking the model down from atop the book and placing it before her. While the box it had come with had instructions on what colors to paint the ship, Orzel had a far more distinct paint scheme in mind. She set a few pieces of blank paper down, then placed the model on top of those, before opening a wooden box that had been delivered with the model and glue... It rested on the floor, and housed within its darkly stained interior a bevy of different paints. Their labels were in Equestrian, though helpful translations were clearly taped on the lids for her sake, another opportunity to learn the odd overly gentle sounding language.

Orzel's mind began to wander in those brief moments of selecting the necessary paints and brushes from the case, gradually moving away from the machinations of clocks and adhesive strength. In those fleeting seconds Orzel stared silently at the ship, her eyes drawn to the impressive masts and rigging. After setting the paints on the desk, a sensation of sorrowful rage gradually filled her thoughts. Cracking timbers and snapping rope echoed in her ears, joined shortly thereafter by the phantom smell of charcoal. As seconds turned to minutes, the heart wrenching memories intertwined themselves with those of all the time's she'd spent helping her Father. The ship before her, tiny and frail, would be just as powerless against her fist as the Imperial Armada, including Father's beloved Piorun, had been in the face of the ravenous horde...

She desperately wanted to clench her fist and dash the little plastic hull against the books, to let fly all her fury and grief upon that which so easily could be destroyed. Who would care if she were to wreck that which she'd built, it had no crew, there would be no children left orphaned in the wake of Orzel's pulverizing anger... It was small, she was big, she could make it suffer as she suffered...!

What stayed her hand... Well, she supposed it was the clock. Unlike the clock that so captivated her, the model could not be easily repaired. Replaced, perhaps, but not repaired. In its tiny rigging and unpainted cross-trees, Orzel saw just how fragile it was... How precious those memories of her Father were to her, and how all would be forever tarnished should she let anger win the day. Even if there was no crew, it was still her ship, and she would regret destroying it almost as soon as the deed was done.

With eyes watering, the girl stood from her desk and walked closer to the window, leaning her forehead against the chilly glass. For all her desire to rage against the world, to deliver her blind retribution upon that which she'd created, she couldn't abide destruction for destruction's sake... That was what the monsters did, and she would never allow herself to be like them.

Nothing made sense anymore, the world Orzel had known growing up was simply gone. Her family home was thoroughly obliterated, Cesarksi's markets and ships burned to cinders, all while chaos had ruled the streets. In the end, nothing changed for the better. Part of the girl's mind wondered what point there was to going on any longer. What was to keep her from just hurling herself through the window and letting gravity take over? In the Empire she could not serve the State, and so she was nothing... No, less than nothing. Mother and Father cared for her, but they were gone now...

Who was left to care if she bid the cruelty of the mortal world goodbye?

Then, as if to answer this grim question, there came a knock on the door. Orzel didn't respond, hoping that whoever it was would just leave her alone. The latch clicked open, the hinges creaked, and Orzel felt compelled to turn and face the interloper.

Princess Luna stood past the threshold, closing the door behind her and quietly looking over the room. Nodding at Orzel, she wordlessly crossed the space and stopped beside a tray of food left on the floor beside the desk. With her palms glowing, Luna levitated the tray and snapped her fingers, making it vanish in a puff of blue smoke. Orzel gulped quietly, her eyes flitting to the floor, as she feared reprisal for the disorganized state she'd left the room in. Instead, however, Luna made her way to Orzel's bed and took a seat on the edge.

"Please, make yourself comfortable." Luna said gently in Szafirian, though her voice carried a strong Equestrian accent, as she gestured at Orzel's desk chair. Orzel hesitantly stepped away from the window, dragging the chair and sitting across from the Princess. The girl put her hands in her lap, looking at the floor with uncertainty. "I wish to spend more time with you, would that be acceptable?" Orzel silently nodded, still feeling uncertain of what to say when in the Princess's presence. "Excellent..." Luna's eyes moved over the desk, noting the model and books, as well as the clock. "I am pleased to see you are keeping yourself busy." Orzel once again didn't respond, how could she given all she'd just been thinking about? She couldn't burden the Princess with such things, they were not matters a Royal need concern themselves with. "Orzel, please speak to me, you need not fear reprisal..."

"You are Royalty..." Hesitantly responded Orzel, tapping her fingers together and averting her eyes. "In the Empire, I would not be allowed within a hundred feet of you, let alone to live here." Luna hummed quietly in thought, wings bristling in apparent annoyance at the news. Orzel took that to mean she'd said something wrong, and so her eyes fell ever lower, as did her confidence. Joining her diminishing reserves of hope was a growing sense of guilt over having to inconvenience someone like a Princess with her presence. "I am sorry, your Grace..."

"You need not constantly apologize, Orzel." Luna insisted, likely doing her best to be reassuring, though she didn't sound all that convincing. "I realize this is a trying time for you, but try to understand... Equestria does not hold to the same standards as your home. Here, all of our subjects are viewed with equal worth, regardless of their status." Orzel rubbed the back of her neck, still unable to meet Luna's eyes. Despite the girl's skepticism, the Princess's words did seem consistent with how Twilight Sparkle had acted in her presence. "I would like for you to not refer to me with titles. I am your caretaker, not your ruler, you need not be so formal."

"As you wish, your Grace-." Orzel cut herself off, quietly cursing under her breath while inwardly berating herself. She couldn't even get a simple response right. "I mean... I understand." Luna nodded, though it seemed she wasn't fully convinced, not that Orzel could see all that much with her eyes glued to her feet. "I am sorry, and I am sorry for saying sorry..." Luna restrained herself, though Orzel could tell her apology had not been what the Princess had wanted to hear. "It just... Feels like everything is my fault. Like I have done something wrong, merely by surviving. So I must apologize."

"I understand... Truly, I do." Luna responded softly, looking towards the window, an ember of regret flickering in her eyes. "Twilight explained to you that I lost my parents around your age, correct?" Orzel nodded quietly, chancing a glance upwards to see Luna's features had become less intense. "It was not in such a visceral fashion, but nonetheless..." The Princess leaned forward on the bed, lacing her fingers together. "I became lost, and for a myriad of reasons my Sister was unable to help me." The woman shook her head, her voice cracking slightly. "I realize I have said this before, but I wish it to be clear. You are not alone, Orzel, and none of this..." Luna reached out and gently lifted Orzel's chin, looking her in the eyes. "None of this was your fault."

"I am aware..." Orzel said quietly, lowering her eyes again. "I know, intellectually, that what you say is true... But..." She tapped the center of her chest, doing her best to maintain some semblance of calm. It was proving difficult, not only because of her earlier agitation, but also due to Luna's reminding her. Orzel closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as the continually hazy images of the fateful night danced in the shadows. Again tears rolled down her cheeks. "I do not believe it, not in my heart. All I feel is this... Pain. It... It hurts just to be alive..." She wiped her eyes. "You said it would fade, but... When?"

"I am afraid it will take a long time..." Luna said softly, Orzel heard her rise from the bed and quietly approach before kneeling in front of the girl and resting a hand on her shoulder. "There are professionals that can help... Doctors of the mind... I am searching for one. Until we find someone, I will be stopping by more regularly, to help you as best I can." Orzel nodded quietly, opening her eyes and looking at Luna. Unable to keep from sniffling, the girl hesitantly stepped forward and hugged Luna. She wasn't entirely sure why, perhaps she trusted the Princess, or perhaps she just needed some form of contact. Regardless of the reasons why, Luna returned the hug readily. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for, there is nothing you cannot achieve if you set your mind to it."

"I hope so..." Orzel's voice was barely audible, Luna merely hummed in response, allowing the girl as much time as she needed. With the dulling of her memories, the pain was not nearly as raw as it had been upon her first arrival. She'd made many conclusions in those first few days, about how she would need to handle her life, how she would need to move on. She would need to rethink some of them, it seemed. Luna's reminder that she wasn't alone certainly helped, as much as it hurt. Whether the gains she'd made would last, however, was a question Orzel wasn't quite brave enough to face as of yet...