The Ground Beneath Our Hooves
When Feather Bangs had told his new bride Churry Burry that he wanted the couple to move to Our Town, Churry Burry had agreed without really thinking about it.
It was only now, as the train pulled into the station, that Churry Burry felt disappointment. She looked out at the dusty street, and saw ponies who were much like the ponies anywhere else. She sighed.
"What's wrong, sugarlumps?" Feather asked her.
"I'd heard that in Our Town, everypony was alike," she said. "I thought it would be fun to see hundreds of identical twins walking up and down the street, doing all different kinds of things. Maybe even doing a several hundred pony musical number!"
Feather thought for a minute. Finally he said, "Yeah, that would be cool. But even when Starlight Glimmer ruled the town with an iron horseshoe, that's not what Our Town was really about."
The conductor, standing in the aisle, said, "It was about cutie marks! Starlight the Great Glimtator took away everypony's cutie marks, so nopony would make anypony else feel bad by being too different, or by being better at anything."
Churry Burry said, "So was that...good?"
"It was glorious!" exclaimed the conductor. "I'm still hoping that someday, all Equestria can be like that. Here, take some of my Glimmertology pamphlets. It's the only religion based on real science!" He stuck pamphlets into the outer pockets of all the couple's luggage. "Remember, when nopony is special, everypony is special by comparison to anypony else! Oh, and one more thing."
"What?" Churry asked.
"You two lovebirds had better get off the train right quick, before it departs."
After detraining, Churry looked around again. "This town seems like anyplace else. Except for all the tents. So many tents! Is there a housing shortage, Feather? Can we even afford a place to live?"
"It's the opposite!" Feather announced proudly. "In this town, nopony wants to live in anything that was built during Starlight Glimmer's rule. So the rents are very cheap." Feather opened one of his suitcases. "See this rolled up tent? I can trade it for a mansion!"
***
That night, lying in bed with Feather and listening to their new house creak alarmingly around them, Churry wondered aloud if they could trade the house back for the tent.
"Nope," the conductor said.
"What?" Churry asked. "Nope WHAT? And what are you doing in our house?"
"It's the same question every new pony asks themselves about now," the conductor explained. "Usually about the time they notice their new house is so poorly built, it has holes so big a whole marching band could come right in through it."
"I don't want a marching band!" Churry cried. "What's wrong with just mice and rats, like normal houses have?"
"There, there," the conductor said, patting Churry's shoulder. "You'll get used to it. It saves buying an alarm clock. And you can even make musical requests! (Additional charges may apply.)"
"I want to go to sleep!" Churry complained. "Get out of our house, Mr. Conductor!"
"Okay," he said. "See you at marching band time sharp, tomorrow." He left through the house's back door, without bothering to open it.
While slumbering, Churry dreamed of an Our Town more like the one she'd imagined before she'd ever seen it. Hundreds of ponies walked up and down the streets, and did all kinds of different things. Sang the same songs in unison, badly and out of tune. Baked inedibly hard muffins and pie-cake-things. Stood in the village square selling yellowed, puny produce and misspelled, illegible newspapers. Danced dance numbers while frequently tripping over each other, once falling on Churry's foot.
By comparison with having a house that was more holes than house, it was almost slightly wonderful, maybe.
"I can hardly wait to leave," Churry said. But then the transformation happened. All the ponies started to look more and more like each other, almost as if it was some kind of cheaply made children's cartoon.
Frightened, Churry grabbed Feather tightly, hiding her face in his mane. The scent of excellent hair care products comforted her.
"Don't worry," Feather reassured her. "Soon you'll be more alike too, so you'll fit right in and be safe. And you'll be more beautiful than you've ever been before."
"What?" Churry said. She pulled her face out of Feather's mane. "What's happening?"
She looked down at herself. She had the same exact color scheme as Feather, which I'm too lazy to look up right now. And she was the same exact size, too.
Churry sat up suddenly, awake. She reached over and turned on the light. She ran into the bathroom, because somehow her wings weren't working. She stared into the bathroom mirror. "Feather!" she cried out. "Get in here!"
Her husband dragged himself out of bed to join her. Churry looked at him. She looked at herself in the mirror. She grabbed him and held him close, looking at themselves in the mirror.
"Wow!" she said. "Dream you was right. I AM more beautiful now than I ever was before."
"That's kind of you to say," Feather answered her. "And true? But I think there's a problem."
"What?" Churry asked, making eyes at herself in the mirror. She made kissy-faces at herself. This was the best transformation EVER!
Feather moved his mouth and made some sounds, but Churry wasn't paying attention.
She fluttered her eyelashes at herself. I mean, he fluttered his eyelashes at himself. Got to keep this straight. So to speak.
"I'm sorry, Feather. Were you saying something? It's busy work, being one of the hottest-looking ponies in town."
Feather insisted, "If you're you and I'm...I mean, if you're me and I'm you...I'm going to get confused."
"Don't worry, dear. You might get confused, but it'll be worth it. I'll have enough fun for the both of us."
Suddenly the noise of incompetently played tubas, trumpets, Prench horns, and accordions sounded through the house. "Good morning!" the conductor sang out. "Rise and shine!"
(Thanks, Shaslan!)
Author's Note
This makes fuller sense if you read the prequels?
