How (NOT) to Write a

by Sapienich

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure, Sex
Length: 2132

Lector, our protagonist will be involved in a series of stories without meaning and without connection just to measure the writing capacity of this author. (Don't expect anything good).

Lector, our protagonist will find himself stuck in a series of issues where he will have to use highly contrasted options several times, sometimes he will have to use the power of the word, in others go directly to the fists. No one could really know what will happen next week. Nobody really, not even the author knows what he is going to write, so we can expect anything. From serial murders to attempted comedy, welcome to How (NOT) to write.

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Well, in this I will try to write different forms ranging from comedy to adult scenes, all with a bit of background. It was originally going to be a series of one-off shots, but then I decided to put it all in one, don't expect a great plot, but knowing me will possibly put a backstory. By the way, all the chapters will have a notice of what to see, to be able to decide what to read and what not. And don't expect too many updates, it's just a story in which I'll put my little writing skills to the test ... And it's translated by Google, lower your expectations even more

Published 2020-09-17 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-17 18:10:01 UTC

Nightmare Moon

Author's Note

Today's episode will experiment a bit with comedy, but as I said just a little. Don't expect to laugh with every paragraph.

Nightmare Moon

The Everfree forest, a place that does not obey the rules that the rest of Equestria follows, a place where animals take care of themselves and plants also, a place where the worst monsters are born and live. A place where any ordinary Léctor appears among the tall grass with a coffee in her hand and a newspaper in the other. The amazing bipedal creature was in the clothes of any self-respecting survivor, her white pajamas with red hearts scare anyone because it implies that she will take your heart out of your chest and will show it to anyone who is on her way. Its origins are unknown but it is rumored that she herself made it with the fur of her victims, or that it was simply given to her at Christmas.

The creature looked around with some surprise, continued to observe the forest where it was and when it was least expected an explosion was heard in the distance. The bipedal creature watched the place where the loud noise had come from.

"Well, another day in Brazil," He said and then took a sip from her cup and started walking in the direction of the noise hoping to get somewhere with civilization.

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It was a whole day of exploration for the bipedal creature, the place seemed a labyrinth of green colors in which even the most experienced would get lost. He was lost until he moved some leaves, behind them a hut was in sight, one that reminded one of a random African tribe. The individual approached carefully still with his coffee in hand.

"Why is it so small?" He whispered to himself as he looked around the small hut.

With some hesitation he approached the cabin, when he was close he leaned slightly through the window trying to see inside.

When he finally could see what was inside he was surprised ... Not really, it was well known that in Brazil there were tribes like that so he was not really surprised. He calmly turned to meet a small zebra, initially surprised but quickly turned to confusion when he realized the size of the animal.

It was barely up to his hip, not to mention how weird it looked, it looked like a big stuffed toy, so cartoonish.

"Oh hello little one. What are you doing around here?," I ask with doubt, according to him the zebras should not be in Brazil. Not naturally.

"This place is my base," the zebra replied while staring at him, on the other hand the human was stunned. It was like this for a few seconds until he finally jumped back.

"WHAT!"

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A group of six mares walked through the Everfree Forest, all of different colors. From blue to pink, they all had a unique color that made them stand out in this sea of dark colors.

"How long until we get there?" One of them asked, the blue one being specific.

"I think we're close," a lavender unicorn uttered, this one with its magic moved some branches revealing a large castle in the distance. "Very close."

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"So I'm in a world where ponies are the main race on the planet?-" Asked the bipedal being, with some disbelief in his voice. The zebra nodded quickly "-Where does a mare that has wings and a horn move the sun and the moon?-" The zebra nodded again. "-And now there is another mare with wings and a horn that wants to bring eternal night?" ask staring at the zebra.

"Yes Lector, nothing you say is false," replied the female zebra, large golden earrings adorning her ears, just like a golden necklace covered a large part of her neck.

"What's going on?" Whispered the now known as Lector. Not long ago he had started talking to the zebra named Zecora. At first they just stared until finally the zebra took the first step by asking who it was. There began a talk about what was currently happening and where they were, it was thanks to that that Lector understood what was happening in the place.

"With everything new, you will have to chew all the problems, will you bring something new to this place?" Zecora asked staring at him.

"I don't know, I'm just going to try to survive. If they accept me in society, I will use my knowledge to make this place evolve, or something like that," Lector replied simply.

"There is a castle near here, from there you can easily get out of this din and continue east where you will find a new challenge. Ponyville is a good place to start, but the locals may want you far away," The zebra said staring at him.

"I understand, nice talking to you Eminem. Now I have a mission to do," The human spoke as he got up from his seat.

When he was about to leave there he felt someone grab his shirt preventing him from leaving, Lector turned around with doubt and found Zecora holding an empty plate on one of his hooves while grabbing it with his teeth.

"You thought I had forgotten our agreed deal, even though we had agreed to it a few minutes ago," Zecora said as he released Lector.

"Damn," Lector whispered as he poured his coffee into Zecora's plate, the latter looking at how the magic liquid now became his possession.

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"Girls, we are very close," said the lavender unicorn looking as a cliff blocked their way to the old castle.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Said a blue pegasus as it flew to the other side trying to tie up the bridge.

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"Where am I?" The human asked himself, he was currently at the bottom of a huge crevasse. Zecora had told him that he could find an old castle around here. The only thing he found was some old ruins at the bottom of the cliff, he did not know how he got here, he just kept going until when he looked at the environment he was in this place.

He carefully observed the place looking at some extension stairs on one of the sides, he directed his gaze upwards noticing how they could get him out of here.

"Well, time to be a Snake," said Lector approaching the stairs, grabbed one of the steps firmly, gave a sigh and began to climb the stairs. "What a thrill ..."

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In the old abandoned castle six mares were in a large room, all facing a seventh that was ahead of them, the great mare had a pair of wings and a huge horn on her forehead. The mare's coat was a deep black, various pieces of purple metal adorning her body.

"You little idiots, did you really think you could stop me?" Shouted the mare of the moon, looking at everyone with disdain.

The six mares watched in terror as Nightmare Moon destroyed the elements of harmony, the six spheres exploded into pieces.

"How dare you!" Twilight yelled desperately, she ran towards Nightmare Moon with her horn lit ready to attack.

The big mare looked at her confidently as she stepped aside giving way to an enraged Twilight who ended up tripping and rolling on the ground.

Her new friends were enraged at that and started running towards Nightmare Moon, all except Fluttershy who stared at the entrance of the place.

For Nightmare Moon it was totally easy to get rid of each of the mares, Rainbow Dash used her same speed and crashed her to the ground, Applejack tied her with some targets that were out there, she gave Pinkie Pie an extremely salty sweet and this I get dizzy. Rarity had suffered the worst of fates, she had seen Nightmare Moon make a beautiful dress to finally destroy it in the most unimaginably horrible ways ... She spilled chocolate juice on it, and Rarity fainted from it.

The last of all, Fluttershy looked with fear as her friends had fallen easily. In fear she looked towards the entrance and said.

"Please, whoever is in the shadows. Help us! ”Fluttershy yelled with desperation in her voice.

Nightmare Moon looked surprised at all places, waiting for a wild Celestia to come out and attack. But what took her by surprise was a bipedal creature with white fur and hearts emerging from the shadows, with a large piece of paper and a cup of tea in its hands. The creature came out with supreme calm while giving Nightmare Moon a serious look.

"Who are you!?" Nightmare Moon asked demanding an answer to the strange individual who had presented himself.

"I am Lector," said the creature while playing with her cup like a revolver at a game fair, the turning of the cup was hypnotizing and the sound generated a certain pleasure in those who listened to it. An impressive audio-visual show "-Also called-" He continued his speech and turning the cup even more, from one moment to another he began to do tricks like sending it into the air and changing the hand where it turned. But that was not all because he put the piece of paper in the show throwing it in the air to do tricks with the cup and then grab it, even with the cup "-The Anon" He finished as he stopped everything he did and stared at Nightmare Moon, the latter in great amazement.

"Well Lector, you left us really impressed with those peculiar abilities, I could accept you as a buffoon when you conquer the world through the eternal moon." Nightmare Moon spoke but was interrupted by Reader.

"Conquer the world?" He asked between sobs, confusing those present. "Nightmare Moon, I didn't teach you that." He continued speaking as she finally burst into tears. "You, of all the others. You fell into evil, you were the one who had all my hopes, I thought you would be the best of all ... but I was wrong," He said through tears.

"What are you talking about !?" He yelled with confusion and seriousness, taking a few steps back with some fear of what might happen.

"Is that really your goal? Don't you remember when you were little?. You always said that you were going to bring justice and harmony to everyone, but I imagine that you changed during those years. You're not a girl anymore, hell look at you. You are already a woman ready to rule an entire planet, I hope you enjoy your reign but the day will come where you need a friend and when that day comes you will not have any, not with these methods" Lector finished while turning his back on Nightmare Moon, walking slowly towards the exit.

"Wait!" Nightmare Moon shouted desperately, she extended a hoof towards Reader thinking that it would stop him, it didn't "Please wait!" She screamed again but this time she started running towards the human passing by Fluttershy's side , the latter without knowing what was happening.

However, the human showed no sign of stopping, at least it was until Nightmare Moon stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

"I could try to rule the planet through friendlier means," the huge mare told him with tears in her eyes. "I don't want to be friendless, all I tried to do was to impress others, I really don't want to hurt anyone." I just want them to love me like my sister. ”She uttered crying, staring at Lector with the slightest hope that he would help her on this journey.

The human for his part looked at her, streams of dried tears could be seen on his cheeks. Slowly he opened his arms waiting for the mare to understand the signal, fortunately Nightmare Moon did not take long to approach and hug him, the tears of both were marked on the body of the other, a strong hug that meant a new era of glory. A time of harmony.

"Together we will rule the world," Nightmare whispered happily, but Reader looked at him confused by his words. "We will rule with peace and harmony." Quickly corrected the mare, waiting for Reader to understand.

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In the distance you could see a large mare with white fur and multi-colored mane, a pair of wings were on its back and a large white horn protruded from its head, this mare was named Celestia and she was looking at the development with a telescope of the events.

"Well, that was definitely not planned," Celestia said in surprise.