Cara's Collection of Curious Curios

by Cara

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life, Anthology, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 5323

Collection of speedwrites from Quills and Sofa Speedwrites

Collection of my speedwrites from the Q&S Speedwriting group. Mostly panics but eventually will include more normal contests.

Word of warning, these are mostly unedited. Stories that originated from one of these contests and are going to be expanded will not appear in this anthology unless I give up on them.

Published 2020-09-22 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-26 01:31:49 UTC

Days of the Six (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'A Sentimental Journey'. Placed second.

Days of the Six (Panic!)

A sky blue feather, tied to a fraying rope necklace hanging over the door. A pin-the-tail-on-the-pony tail stuck into the old timber. An empty bottle sits in the window, Strix gripping my shoulder, and a tarnished silver locket upon my chest.

Time just seems to get away from me. It seems like only yesterday that I was a naive filly hiding behind books. Hiding in this very tower, nose buried in a tome. Now I am old, simply content to sit and stare, and wonder how it all went by so quickly. I levitate the feather, worn down by time, and slip the rope around my neck, so that it rests side by side with the locket.

Dash used to say that she lived in the moment, because “once you start thinking about the future, it’s like you’re hurtling through the sky at 50 miles an hour. You’re speeding through life and you can’t stop it, can’t fight it. If you think about all the things that need to be done eventually, rather than all the things that you could do now, you’ll end up down a never-ending rabbit hole. And if you slow down, then you’re going to explode with anxiety, gonna want to get back to planning for the future.” Of course, I’d laugh at that, because it was an absurd statement, coming from a young adult who hadn’t even made it to her thirties. She sure as Tartarus knew what she was talking about, though.

I gently tug the faux tail from the woodwork, running my hooves over the coarse hair. I place it down next to me on the floor, careful not to break the delicate fibers. The lone bottle joins the tail on the floor next to me, a memory of a different time, of parties among friends, rather than the formal parties for publicity.

Strix hoots softly, and flutters down to rest on my hoof. She is a direct descendant of Owlowiscious, a final gift from Fluttershy shortly before she laid down with Angel for one last time.

Finally, I turn my attention to the silver locket hanging around my neck. Almost reverently, I pop open the locket and turn my gaze to the lock of coiled purple hair. Rarity’s, from when we got married. Instead of rings or bands, we gave each other lockets with a lock of hair-her idea, from one of the sappy romance novels she loved to read in bed.

I may skip and jump through time as I grow old, but they will not be forgotten to the dark abyssm of time.

Two Horses Do Cosplay (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Robots'. Placed second.

Two Horses Do Cosplay (Panic!)

“Vinyl, what are you wearing?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t it obvious?”

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s my Termineightor cosplay!”

Octavia blinked.

“Your what?”

“Termineightor. You know, the movie with the unstoppable killing machine?”

“Vinyl, you know I don’t like those movies.”

“Yeah but you’ve seen it! Remember, we went and saw it when it came out, a couple years ago?”

“Hmm. Nope, I must’ve wiped it from my memory.”

“Hey Tavi.”

“What, Vinyl.”

“I’ll buy you those chocolates and wine you like if you come to RoboCon with me.”

“A tempting offer, but I must decline.”

“Taviiiiiiii,”

“No, Vinyl.”

“But I came to your last couple concerts!”

“That’s what marefriends are supposed to do, Vinyl.”

“Yeah, and now I’m cashing in! As my marefriend, you’re coming to the Con with me!”

“I can’t believe you roped me into this.”

“C’mon, Tavi, it’ll be fun!”

“I look ridiculous.”

“What are you talking about, your Sadl-E costume is amazing!”

“I look like a dishwasher.”

“You can wash my dishes any day.” Hoof connected with head. “Ow! Tavi, what was that for?!”

The gray mare smiled and shook her head. “There’s a time and a place, Vinyl. A time and a place.”

She was a Skater Boi (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'On Ice'. Placed third.

She was a Skater Boi (Panic!)

Apple Bloom took a cautious step forwards, ankles wiggling from side to side as she struggled to find her footing on the thin blades attached to her hooves.

“Here, lean on me.” Sweetie glided up next to her and offered her side to the struggling mare. Apple Bloom gratefully took it, still stumbling on the ice.

“I don’t know how you two are so good at this.” She lifted a hoof up then immediately put it back down as she lost her balance. Scootaloo zipped past them, wings buzzing furiously, then spun back and fell into place on Apple Bloom’s other side, sandwiching the yellow mare in between them.

“So, how’s it going?” Scootaloo asked with a smirk.

“You know darn well how it’s going, you speedster.” Apple Bloom looked down at hooves, trying to force them to push out like Sweetie had told her.

“Watch me.” Sweetie stepped away, then pushed off of her right side, balancing her weight over her left hooves. “You don’t need to lift your hooves up too much, just push them to the side with the tip pointing out then drag them back.”

“I’m trying!” Apple Bloom pushed out and slipped as her legs splayed out. “Ack!”

“I got you, babe, I got you.” Scootaloo hefted the earth pony up, assisted by the green glow of Sweetie Belle’s magic. Apple Bloom pecked the pegasus’s nose, then steadied herself, looking down at her hooves again.

“Alright, lemme try it on my own.”

Scootaloo stepped back, though still close enough that she could help her partner back up should she fall. Apple Bloom pointed her right hooves out, then pushed off into a shaky glide. Sweetie bit her lip. The yellow mare shakily brought her hooves back to underneath her, and let the momentum from her push send her across the ice.

“I did it!”

The pegasus and unicorn shot each other a look, then glided across the ice to their third.

“I did it, girls!” Apple Bloom raised a hoof, shaking a little as she did so, but managing to stay upright. Sweetie nuzzled the earth pony, then kissed her.

“You did great, hon.”

Climb Higher on These Broken Wings (Contest)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Broken Wings'.

Climb Higher on These Broken Wings (Contest)

How she kept ending up back at the bottom was a mystery. It wasn’t for lack of trying, of course. She was never one to give up, no matter the obstacles.

“Eris’s teeth and the hungry swarms!”

By the sixteenth time, she was ready to call it quits.

“May all the charms of Acanthus light on you, Equestria!” she snarled into the air. “May you choke on the stale air of the forerunners, cursed land!”

Ex-queen Chrysalis sat on a small, muddy stump, trying to avoid the murky water of the swamp lapping at her hooves. Her legs were caked with mud, her mane was waterlogged and bedraggled, and she was seething. She shifted ever so slightly, attempting to regain feeling in her left hind leg, which sent her reeling into the muck below.

“You stinking swamp! I didn’t ask to be out here! I didn’t want to be in this swarm-barren wasteland!” Her shrieks echoed through the dead trees as she pulled herself back onto the stump, only to find herself face to face with a frog, which croaked once before hopping into the dirty water.

“Hello?” Chrysalis lifted her head higher, and lapped at the air. Somecreature was nearby, close enough that their worry could be tasted. Chrysalis straightened herself-even if she no longer had her hive, it wouldn’t do to be seen as weak.

“Hello? I could’ve sworn I heard someone.” The voice was closer now, discernable as a female voice.

“You heard correctly.” The ex-queen licked her lips, tail flicking excitedly. Finally a filling meal on the horizon, better than eating the large rodents that appeared now and then.

“Keep talking!” the voice replied.

“Follow my voice,” Chrysalis called. “You’re not too far off.”

“Where?” The pony pushed her way through a thicket of dying briars a couple of meters away from the changeling. “Ouch. There you are! What brings you around these parts?” Chrysalis paused, wondering why the pony hadn’t bolted at the sight of her.

“Do you know who I am?”

“No?” The auburn earth pony cocked an ear. “Should I?”

“You mean you have never heard of Chrysalis of the Western Hive, Queen of the Scolus changelings?”

The pony stared blankly.“Nope.”

Chrysalis shivered in delight. Here was a place that the cursed sun-goddess would never think to look for her nemesis, a place for the changeling to recover and plan for the future. Here was a perfectly good food source, and hopefully many more from wherever this pony appeared.

“Think nothing of it, then. Who are you?”

“Amber Oak.”

“I’m sorry, could you come a little closer? I couldn’t hear you, on account of my ears being filled with water.” Chrysalis shook her head, flinging mud from her mane and horn. The pony took a step closer and opened her mouth to repeat herself.

“Amber O-augh!” Chrysalis had opened her mouth, unhinging her jaw and drawing upon Amber’s emotive energy. How I’ve missed this, she thought, before a blunt object hit her across the face, breaking her concentration and nearly fracturing her jaw.

“What in Setula’s name was that?” She snarled, whipping her head around to look for the intruder. Her gaze settled on the pony in front of her, vigorously shaking her hoof.

“Damn, you’ve got a strong skull there. Any other creature would have a broken jaw by now.” Chrysalis growled, leaning forward into the pony, then stopped when Amber brought up her hoof. “You try that again and I’ll break it for sure.” The pony stated.

“Fine, fine, you win.” The changeling settled back on her stump, wincing as her forehooves slipped into the chilly water.

“It appears we got off on the wrong hoof, so I’m going to ask again, and you’re going to stay over there,” Amber backed away from the ex-queen. “And you’re going to tell me what you’re doing here.”

“I was once the queen of the Scolus, the changeling hive out west,” Chrysalis begrudgingly stated. “I brought empires to their knees, I ended the reigns of usurpers and tyrants alike. We were the greatest hive that ever existed.”

“So then why are you out here?”

“I’m getting to that!” Chrysalis growled. “We used to be the greatest, until that upstart decided that befriending those around us would make us stronger. Instead, it tore us APART!” she roared. “I was usurped, banished from the hive. I would have kept us strong, but they chose the traitor over me, their queen. They have broken my wings, stranded me here.” Chrysalis flung a hoof out at their surroundings.

“And how is the hive functioning now?”

“How would I know? I was banished. They promised me that I would be imprisoned on sight. Bah,” she spat. “As if those imposters could ever defeat me.”

The changeling looked at the pony, noticing the look in her eyes.

“Don’t give me pity. Pity does nothing for me. It is as worthless as my hive is.” She could see the gears turning in Amber’s head. Ponies were all so predictable, willing to give anything to strangers. “Love, on the other hoof, will sustain me, and keep me from dying out here, amongst the dead and dying trees.”

“Alright. How?” Chrysalis blinked. She hadn’t expected this stranger to so readily agree to having her emotions sucked dry.

“It’s simple really. You stand there, and I absorb your love.”

“Alright, but if you take too much, I’m hitting you again.” Amber warned as she shifted her weight into a more comfortable stance. Chrysalis unhinged her jaw again, and drew upon the pony’s emotive well, siphoning it into her stomach. She braced for the impact of Amber’s hoof, but it never came. Amber stood there, stoically, as her emotions were drained, one by one.

“How are you giving this much love?” Chrysalis asked through the siphon.

“It looked like you needed a friend to talk to. Fortunately for you, I’m not good at standing by and letting others fend for themselves.” Chrysalis blinked in shock. Nobody had ever called her friend, and certainly not a pony she had just tried to steal from.

“Well then, friend.” Chrysalis’s body shook, then was engulfed in a brilliant green flame. When it subsided, a completely different creature stood in the muck. Soft yellow gave way to greens and blues, and the ex-queen no longer had holes riddling her limbs.

“Well then,” Chrysalis commented.

“Looks like your wings are healed now, Chrys. Time to fly home.”

I Require Screws (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Screw This!'. Placed first.

I Require Screws (Panic!)

“Rarity, I require you to screw me.” Sweetie stuck out her leg.

“Sweetie, how uncouth! You know better than to ask that!” Rarity gasped.

Sweetie’s irises contracted as she tilted her head, her optical aperture growing smaller.

“Query not recognized.”

Rarity sighed. “A lady,” she put extra emphasis on the lady. “A lady does not blatantly ask to be screwed. She is polite and demure, and implies that she needs to be screwed rather than simply blurting it out.”

“Query. Why?”

“It is a hallmark of high society, Sweetie. If one wishes to survive in the upper crust, one must play the part! Asking to be rutted is simply scandalous. A gentlemare, demanding to be screwed like a common harlot? I think not!”

Sweetie stared at her sister, irises shrinking and then widening again. “Query one. What is a harlot?”

Rarity tapped between Sweetie’s ears. “You know what it means, use your head.” Sweetie paused, searching through her databases.

“Harlot: Noun. Plural form: Harlots. A prostitute. Originates from Old Prench herlot, meaning young stallion, knave, or vagabond.”

Rarity tousled the two toned pink mane. “You said you had another question?”

“Query two. What is so important about the 'upper crust'?” Sweetie intoned.

“Do you see those outfits?” Rarity pointed to the mannequins standing in the corner.

Sweetie turned her head to follow the hoof. “Affirmative.”

“Do you know who those clothes are for?”

Sweetie scanned them. “From left to right, Madame Fleur de Lis for use at balls. Monsieur Fancy Pants, for everyday use. Princess Twilight Sparkle, for formal parties only - not Pinkie Pie parties. Princess Luna, for use in the bed-”

Rarity coughed into her hoof, her cheeks red. “Ah, yes, why don’t we stop there?” Sweetie turned her head to look at the other unicorn.

“Query. You appear flushed. Are you ill? Do you require medical assistance?” Sweetie took a step towards Rarity, hoof still outstretched.

“No, no.” Rarity waved off the smaller unicorn. “Those outfits are for the higher ups. They control the private sector, the flow of money in the economy. Those in that socioeconomic bracket own us workers. Being a part of them means that one has ‘made it’, as it were.”

“Query. If I am simply a worker why must I act like a lady?”

“If you ever want to climb to their rank, you must behave like one of them.”

“Query. If I am simply a worker why must I climb to their rank?”

Rarity groaned and dragged her hoof down her face. “Because you should aspire to be something with your life! Reach the highest echelons available to you. Touch the stars! Dream big!”

“Query. I do not possess wings nor space travel. How am I to touch the stars?”

“It’s a figure of speech, Sweetie.” Rarity tugged at her mane, letting out a sigh as she turned back to the sewing machine.

“Query. Why will you not screw me?” Sweetie stepped forward, her hoof colliding with Rarity’s side.

“Screwing somepony is a very intimate action, Sweetie, surely you understand that!”

“I do not understand. You are my sister. Are we not close enough for you to screw me?”

“If I screw you, will you leave me alone?” Rarity glared at the smaller unicorn, who gazed straight ahead, unblinking.

“Affirmative.”

“Alright,” Rarity sighed. “Let’s get you docked.” Sweetie followed her obediently to a port on the wall. With a push of a button, a panel on Sweetie’s side swung open, exposing a cable. Rarity plugged it in, then levitated her sister onto a set of prongs that swung up from the wall.

“Where do you need to be screwed?” Rarity muttered to herself. She poked the monitor beside Sweetie’s head, and grumbled to herself. “Of course the drive’s loose, it’s always the drive. This damn model. Alright, where’s my screwdriver?”

Pot and the City (Contest)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'High Society' with a focus on unicorns. Yes, I wrote about weed purely for the pun.

Pot and the City (Contest)

Scootaloo took a pull off the joint, inhaling through the rolled tube, then releasing it in a steady stream of smoke. Silently, she hoofed it off to the white unicorn laying next to her.

“Scoots?”

“Wassup,” the pegasus lazily let her head roll to the side so she was looking at her partner.

“How do I do this?”

Scootaloo reached out and took the joint back.

“Watch,” she put it to her lips. “Inhale, pause and take another breath, then let it out.” The smoke drifted up from her lips, dissipating into the cool night air. Sweetie took the joint back, sucking her cheeks in as she inhaled.

“F-fuck,” she coughed, sitting up.

“You get used to it.” Apple Bloom reached out with her hoof. Sweetie gave her the joint, and laid back down, staring up into the stars.

“Hey, babe?” Scootaloo rasped.

“Yeah?” Both Sweetie and Apple Bloom turned their heads to look at their third.

“Sweetie, you’re a unicorn.” Scootaloo flailed a hoof in the air. “Why are all the Canterlots... Cankerlopians…”

“You mean Canterlotians?” Apple Bloom took a pull and hoofed the joint back to Sweetie, who took a cautious hit, grimacing as her eyes watered. Thankfully she didn’t cough this time, but she eagerly passed the clover to her pegasine partner.

“Yeah, the Camperlokians. Why are they all such snobs?”

“Uh,” Sweetie drew in a breath, then released it. “I don’t know. Probably something to do with the foundation of Equestria. Ask the history buff.” She nudged Apple Bloom with her elbow.

“Huh? What’d you say?”

Sweetie blinked slowly. Had she asked a question? “Did I say something?”

Scootaloo chuckled. “Someone’s high.”

“Am I?” Sweetie watched the silvery smoke of the joint spiral into the stars distractedly.

“Eeyup,” Apple Bloom shifted, rolling closer to the unicorn. “You’re feeling lighter, ain’tcha.”

Sweetie paused, taking stock of her body. Her thoughts, while less frantic, were shrouded in a haze as she tried to recollect them. Her body did feel lighter, and she could feel her pulse resonating throughout herself.

“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Scoots was asking you about Canterlot. Why the unicorns there are so stuck up.”

“Comes from the founding days,” Apple Bloom waved a hoof before letting it fall onto the grass with a dull thump. “Princess Platinum had a superiority complex.”

“A what?” Scootaloo asked.

“Superiority complex. Means they think they’re better than everyone else. You would know if you paid attention in school.”

“I pay attention!”

Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a deadpan stare.

“Y’know, to things I’m interested in.”

Bloom shook her head. “And you wonder why your grades are low.”

“Shut!” Scootaloo flailed, nearly hitting Sweetie in the face. “But if Platinum had a susperiory complex, why didn’t the rest of the founders, y’know, like stop it.”

“Wasn’t it because of Clover or something?” Sweetie dimly recalled something about the mage from one of their past history lessons. “She was like, uber powerful or something? Could wipe out the other tribes?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Apple Bloom sat up and rummaged around in her sack. “Anyone hungry?”

“You’d better have packed something other than apples.” Scootaloo rolled over towards the pack. Sweetie giggled, then poked Apple Bloom with her hoof.

“So, like, it’s all Platinum’s fault?”

“Pretty much,” the earth pony replied through a mouthful of apple.

“But why are the nobles so snobby today?” Scootaloo rolled back, a juice box between her front legs.

“You know how they are, gotta be trendy.”

Sweetie took another hit. “So, they’re all jerks because Platinum was a jerk? That’s dumb.”

Apple Bloom setted against the unicorn’s side. “Eeyup. Nopony ever said them nobles were smart.”

“So it’s like tradition to be a jerk?”

“Pretty much.”

“That’s dumb.” Scootaloo took a slurp from her juice.

“I just said that!” Sweetie poked the pegasus in the side.

“Well, I said it too, so nyeh!” Scootaloo stuck her tongue out. Sweetie stuck her hoof out to poke the pegasus again, but promptly forgot about it as another thought came to the forefront of her mind.

“What if Platinum hadn’t had a stick up her flank?”

Scootaloo took a pull. “They’d probably all be like Twilight.”

“Nerdy shut ins?” Apple Bloom smirked.

“Naw,” Scootaloo waved a hoof. “Y’know, chill.”

The three sat in silence for a couple minutes before Sweetie spoke up.

“I’m so glad we live here instead of in Canterlot.”

“Eeyup.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.”

Burning Mare (not really it's all burning) (Panic!)

“Suppose I just let it all burn?” Celestia took a sip of her tea.

“What?!” Luna cried, spraying her coffee across the table. “Sister what meanest thou?”

“Scorch the earth,” Celestia gestured. “All this, just ash.”

“I seem to remember someone banishing me to the moon when I tried to do the same thing.”

“Oh no, I banished you because our little ponies would have slowly starved as their crops withered and died. I could just wave my hoof,” Celestia flicked her fetlock. “And woosh. Gone. No suffering.”

“But why?” Luna surreptitiously took Celestia’s tea and sniffed it. “‘Tis not something in the tea that’s causing this momentary loss of reason.”

Celestia sighed and took her tea back. “Nothing of the sort. I have simply grown bored of the nobles' complaints.”

“So you would wipe out everything to remove the nobility?!”

“Well, not everything. But picture it!” Celestia waved her hooves. “Boom! Fwoosh! Colors! Fire!”

The castle rumbled, then the glass imploded, flames creeping in through the now empty slot.

Celestia shot a sheepish grin towards Luna. “Oops?”

Luna facehoofed.

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Doomsday'. Placed second.

Leg (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Device(s)'. Placed second.

Leg (Panic!)

“What’s this?” Kerfuffle looked at the lump in the wagon curiously.

“Oh, just a little upgrade, dontcha know.” Torque pulled the sheet away, revealing a couple bits of metal and some screws. “Oh yippee, it just had to go and fall apart now, didn’t it.”

“But what is it?” Kerfuffle shifted, wincing as the joint in her wooden leg squeaked egregiously.

Torque shuddered. “It’s to fix that.” She jabbed at the offending appendage. “Been too long since ya came by for a tune up, and I figured ya should get something new.” She finished screwing the pieces of the leg together. “Fixed ya up something new. Newest tech from Canterlot, dontcha know.”

The prosthetic gleamed in the warm afternoon light, the shiny gray accented with a copper trim, and an elastic strap hung from the top of it.

“Carbon fiber, supposed ta be super strong, and with the modifications I made inside it shouldn’t seize up too-oomph!”

Kerfuffle wrapped the earth pony in a tight hug. “Thanks, Torque. I don’t know what I would have done without ya.” She gave the mechanic a quick peck on the cheek. “Consider that a thank ya for all these years.”

Of Pegasi and Pinkie's Monstrosities (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Poking and/or bears'. Placed second.

Of Pegasi and Pinkie's Monstrosities (Panic!)

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it.” Fluttershy patted Harry’s paw. “You know Rainbow has a tendency to take things too fast.” She turned her gaze to the mare standing beside her. “Doesn’t she, Rainbow.”

Dash flashed a sheepish grin. “Maybe sometimes?”

“Now, apologize to Harry.”

“Sorry bud, I’ll uh, I’ll avoid hitting you in the future.”

“To be fair, it was kinda my idea,” Applejack started.

“Really? So it was your idea to launch Rainbow from a cannon for a new trick that you created off the top of your head? Pinkie I’d believe it from, don’t try to lie to me Applejack.” Fluttershy glanced at the orange mare standing on the other side of Rainbow Dash. “Even if it was Pinkie, I’d be more inclined to believe it if Dash hadn’t been telling me about her plans for this trick for weeks.” Applejack winced.

“I mean, Pinkie helped.”

“I can see that.” Fluttershy turned back to Harry, who had not only been hit by a speeding pegasus but had also been tagged by a heinous invention of Pinkie’s, called (somewhat fearfully by residents of Ponyville) the polka-inator. Harry was covered from nose to tail in brightly colored polka dots, with a particularly egregious pink one covering his left eye.

“So, what have we learned today?”

“Don’t do tricks where they could hit other creatures?”

“And?”

“Uhhhh,” Dash put her hoof to her chin, thinking. “Don’t polka the bear?”

Fuck This Shit, I'm Out (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Insanity'. This is what I was imagining.

Fuck This Shit, I'm Out (Panic!)

“Hey girls, I’m back with the burg-” Twilight stopped dead in her tracks as she opened the door to the map room. Confetti was sprayed across the floor, one of the walls was now bright pink, Rarity was sobbing in the corner, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were viciously making out, and there was a cow on the map.

“What the fuck?”

“Hey Twilight!” Pinkie fell from the ceiling with a resounding crash, then sprung back up like a bouncy ball. “We decided to break out the cider!” The alicorn’s eye twitched.

“You want some?” Applejack called. A strand of hair popped out of Twilight’s brushed mane and curled up.

“Oh, um, hi, Twilight.” Fluttershy came up for air, though the smaller pegasus was still pinned under her, a dopey grin across her face. “If you want to, you can join us.” She lowered her face to Dash’s and began her assault on the blue pegasus’s lips once more. Another strand of hair popped up to join the first one, and Twilight’s ears started twitching.

“Don’t mind me, dear,” Rarity blubbered from the corner. “I’ll just drown my sorrows with alcohol, as usual.” She took a large gulp from her mug, belched, and started crying harder.

“What. The. Fuck.” Twilight started to laugh nervously. “What. The. Fuck.” Hairs started springing out of her main, coiling up and only adding to the nervous visage Twilight sported.

The cow mooed.

“Y’know what. Fuck this. Fuck you guys. I’m leaving.” She turned, the burger bag still clutched in her magic. “I swear to Celestia, I can’t leave you guys for a minute without it going to shit.” As she slammed the door behind her, a shard of crystal dislodged itself from the ceiling and crashed into the floor, before starting to burn.

Sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends (Panic!)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Shadow Legends'. Placed first.

Sponsored by Raid: Shadow Legends (Panic!)

“Fucking ads,” Luna grumbled.

“Hmm?” Celestia looked up from her book. “What?”

“I mean, look at this!” Luna shoved her phone into Celestia’s face. The principal took her sister’s phone and held it out so that she could actually see it.

“What am I looking at?” Celestia tilted the phone back towards Luna.

“Lemme turn up the brightness,” Luna took it, tapped the screen a couple of times and handed it back.

Characters stood facing each other, little red bars above their heads and firing arrows. “I don’t get it. Is this one of those me-mes you talk to the kids about?” Celestia glanced up at her sister. Luna sighed, pulling the earbud out of her ear and forcefully inserting it into Celestia’s.

“-SHADOW LEGENDS IS AN IMMERSIVE ONLINE EXPERIENCE WITH EVERYTHING YOU’D EXPECT FROM A BRAND NEW RPG TITLE! IT’S GOT AN AMAZING STORYLINE, AWESOME 3D GRAPHICS, GIANT BOSS FIGHTS, PVP BATTLES, AND-”

Celestia yanked the earbud out and rubbed her ear. “Why is it so damned loud?”

“Fuck if I know!” Luna took back her earbud. “Look at the length of the fucking thing!”

“Wait this,” Celestia waved the phone. “Goes on for another minute?!”

“Yeah.” Luna sighed. “There’s another ad after it, too.”

“Can’t you just skip them?”

Luna gave an empty laugh. “I wish. EweTube is actually a cesspool. Two ads every minute or two, and because they’re in the middle of the video I can’t close the video and reopen it. Whoever came up with that deserves to be fired.”

“Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™ devs!” The ad blared from the earbud. Luna took the phone back and sighed.

“Can’t you get rid of the ads?” Celestia glanced back at her book.

“But that requires money,” Luna whined.

“You’re an adult, you can pay for that.”

“Tia. We’re teachers. We don’t get paid enough.” Luna deadpanned.

Celestia waved a hand. “I don’t know! Go outside or something!”

Luna grumbled. “You’re just like Mother. This is why the kids like me more.”

Claw of the Brave (Contest)

Author's Note

Prompt was 'Nowhere Left'. Placed first.

Claw of the Brave (Contest)

“Please, help me.” Were the first words the changeling coughed out.

I took a step back, tripped over my tail and landed in the snow, crab-walking away from the shapeshifter. Scrambling to my feet, I inhaled, ready to breathe fire if it moved, but it just laid there, shivering in the snow.

“Help me,” It rasped again. I took a cautious step towards it, still holding my firebreath at the ready. Another step, and I completely forgot about defending myself as I got a better look at it.

Its chitin was cracked and bloodied, and its chestplate was dented, buckling inwards. One holed leg was bent at an odd angle, cradled close to its body.

“Shit.” I breathed.

The creature’s frame shook, and muffled noises reached my ears through the snow its muzzle was buried in. Was it.. crying? I took another step forward, all pretense of trepidation abandoned, then paused when its visible multifaceted eye flicked towards me.

“Please,” it murmured. I ripped off the coat I was wearing and tossed it over its body-its thorax, I recalled from Twilight’s lectures.

“It’ll be okay, bud.” My voice quavered. Even though it was an enemy, I couldn’t help but bite back tears at the state it was in. “Why were you in the Crystal Empire anyways?”

“Nowhere left,” it choked out. “Beaten. Banished. Need love. Big burst here.”

I thought for a moment. “Oh! The Crystalling.” My gaze hardened. “Are there more of you?”

The changeling gave a small shake of its head. “Just me.”

I was tempted to leave the changeling there. After the Canterlot wedding fiasco, did any of them deserve our love? Another look at the changeling softened my heart. Nocreature deserved to die out here, so far from home, surrounded by snow and ice.

“I can get you the love you need.” I promised as I headed towards the ice scramble.

“But why?” The changeling asked from its depression in the snow. “Why help?”

“Nocreature, no matter their origin, deserves to die alone and forgotten.” I spoke without turning. “Not even you.” I looked down at my claws, claws that held this changeling’s life in them. “How Brave and Glorious would I be if I left you here to die?”

From behind me, I heard a whisper so soft that it could have just been the wind.

“Thank you.”