Pony of Interest: Season 1

by Bicyclette

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Other, Thriller, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1617

A fugitive Pinkie Pie clone, haunted by the memories of her harrowing escape from Ponyville, is recruited by a reclusive bit-lionaire inventor. The job: Solving friendship problems, with the aid of a magical map.

You are being watched. Celestia has a secret system: a magical map that spies on you every hour of every day. I know because I built it. I designed the Cutie Map to detect Elements of Harmony missions, but it sees everything. Friendship problems involving ordinary ponies, ponies like you. Friendship problems Celestia considered irrelevant. She wouldn't act, so I decided I would. But I needed a partner, someone with the skills to intervene. Hunted by the authorities, we work in secret. You'll never find us, but if your cutie mark's up...we'll find you.

Premise crossover with Person of Interest, except based entirely in and around MLP:FiP canon. If I do this right, it should work as a standalone series of episodes with more or less self-contained stories that develop a larger plot pulling in all of the weird stuff going on with Equestria.

Character tags that don't exist: Copper Top, more to come probably. I am trying to use as many background ponies as possible for background/minor characters in this.

Published 2020-09-23 05:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-09-23 05:10:00 UTC

Pilot, Part 1: Pinkie Clone

She had the dream again.

You are surrounded by copies of yourself, but you pay them no mind. You can't. The only thing you can afford to keep on your mind is staring at that wall of drying paint, presented on stage in this empty theater like the most boring play in the world. Don't look away. They'll realize you're the real Pinkie Pie eventually. Don't look away. Don't look away.

"Oh, hey, look at the birdie!" shouts a Pinkie Pie from behind.

ZAP CRACKLE

What was that? Twilight Sparkle is in your field of vision, and you can see that she had just used her horn to fire a beam of magical energy. You felt the warmth as it blazed past your side. You want to turn around and look to see what happened, but you don't. You can't. Don't look away.

"Watch me bounce to touch the ceiling!"

ZAP ZAP

Why twice? Only one of the Pinkies spoke up. What is happening to them? Don't look away.

"Is that- is that a frog crossed with an orange?" "Cool!" "Where?"

ZAP

You realize with dread what is happening. They aren't just trying to figure out who the real Pinkie Pie is, and taking the rest back to the Mirror Pool. They are eliminating you until they are down to one. No trial. Not even a chance to protest.

"Look what I can do with my hooves!"

ZAP CRACKLE

How could they be doing this? They are your friends! The super bestest ponies you know, which is why they are your super bestest friends. How could they just stand by while Twilight did this?

"Bet you can't make your face crazier than... this!"

ZAP ZAP

Twilight is firing at abandon now. There is no way she could even differentiate between the Pinkies that moved or kept staring at such a pace. Does she even care about finding the real Pinkie Pie? Do any of them? Does any of this matter? In desperation, you glance around and realize all of her- YOUR friends are looking away now from the grisly scene. You decide to rush for the balcony window towering above you.

ZAP ZAP

You break into a gallop.

ZAP

You make one last leap.

ZAP

Squatting down into the landing, you gather all of the strength in your legs and tail, and jump.

Only this time, you don't jump high enough. The tips of your outstretched forehooves, cruelly, just about graze the bottom of the balcony. Time seems to slow as you see your only salvation rising away out of reach. You close your eyes and brace for impact.

The landing sends shockwaves of pain through you, vivid, as if this were a real memory. You open your eyes to see Twilight facing down at you, hardly recognizable as the naïve purple unicorn you had happily welcomed to Ponyville all those years ago. In her place is a monster in the shape of Twilight, her horn glowing red and sizzling with magical energy. The grin on her face as she blows upwards to cool her horn. The pride.

"Twilight Sparkle, no!" you cry, all of the pain of betrayal and desperation in your voice. "I'm your friend!"

She awoke screaming into a world where she did make that jump. and ran and ran and ran, fully expecting that last zap to send her to oblivion at any second. The reality where she stowed away on a departing train to anywhere, nearly throwing up at the anxiety that somepony had spotted and recognized her from the train platform. Where she cried all night, that first night. And the second. She had had the dream a lot since then, and it was not the first time she had awoken from it screaming like this. But it was the first time she had done so collapsed on the seat of a crowded Manehattan tram car.

Oh, no.

She felt the stares of the ponies around her. She could hear their murmuring. Twilight Sparkle? Did she say Twilight Sparkle? Like the Princess? Panic set in.

Oh, Celestia, no.

She glanced down and realized with dread that the crude paper patch covering her left cutie mark had come loose, flapping down uselessly.

Oh, a thousand times infinity no!

She rushed to cover it again before somepony-

"Hey! It's the Element of Laughter!" shouted the beaming, ochre-coated stallion in front of her. "The three balloons! I would recognize that cutie mark anywhere!"

It was the first time anypony had smiled at her, just for her, in a very long time. She missed that feeling. Desperately. She wanted to smile back so badly. To break out into song. To greet a new friend. But she couldn't. Doing Pinkie Pie things meant attention. Enough attention meant word got back to Twilight Sparkle. Which meant... No. She couldn't.

"No," she said gruffly. "You don't know what you're talking about." She pressed the top of the patch back against her flank, but the adhesive did not stick as tightly as it did the first time.

"No, I'm right!" the stallion insisted. Why does he have to be so insistent? "It's not just the cutie mark, it's the coat! The voice! The mane, despite that terrible straightening job. You're Pinkie Pie!"

The murmurs rose in pitch and fervor as more and more ponies turned to face her. Is that really Pinkie? Who would ever cover their cutie mark like that, unless they were somepony famous? What is she doing on a tram all by herself? Is Rarity here too? She's my favorite. There's no way that's her.

"But look, I'm telling you, I'm right! The cutie mark, it's definitely her!" The stallion reached over to hoof at the paper covering her cutie mark.

She slapped his hoof away. "Don't touch me!" she screamed, surprising even herself. The stallion recoiled, the smile vanishing from his face.

"Hey, that is no way for the Element of Laughter to behave! That is very out of character!"

This drew even more attention. Suddenly, everypony on the tram was murmuring to each other and shifting around to get a better look. What just happened? Did she just hit him? Why would the Element of Laughter do this? Her panic deepened. She had to get out. Her eyes darted, meeting only more stares of more ponies, panicking her even further. Even the conductor --even the draft team-- were craning their necks to see what was going on. The tram was stopped. She noticed the buildings were no longer moving behind the window across from her.

Yes, the windows! Of course!.

With all her earth pony might, she bucked hard at the tram window behind her. The tram shook, and she could see the ponies around her startling and starting to back away. She bucked again, and this time the window gave way, falling out of its frame and shattering on the Manehattan street below. She leapt down in a panic, losing hoofing on the window frame's sharp edge she did so, and landed awkwardly. She felt the full force of the impact, as well as the thousand tiny abrasions. She resisted the urge to just lie down for a second to recover, but a sharp jolt of pain ripped through her as she tried to get back on four legs. She still hobbled forward a few steps towards the sidewalk before realizing there was a shard of glass wedged into the frog of her forehoof. She wouldn't be able to go any faster than a nimble trot. She collapsed again, shutting her eyes against her tears.

"Miss! Stop right theah!"

She did not open her eyes and turn her head to see who was shouting at her. She could hear it. The gruff command. The sound of a pony galloping hard towards her on the Manehattan asphalt. The clinking of metal. She didn't need her Pinkie Sense to know what would happen if she tried to run. A police chase, inevitably ending in being caught. Extra charges for running. More attention to her case. Maybe even enough for news of it to reach Celestia, and the Elements of Harmony, and Twilight Sparkle-

"Miss! I'm afraid I'll hafta ask you to come with me."

She opened her eyes to see a policemare towering above her, orange mane tightly curled into a bun. Her face was expressionless behind her sunglasses as she reached over to grab the hoofcuff at her side with her mouth. But the pink mare wasn't looking at her. She was looking at the sky behind her. It was overcast and dreary, with not a glimpse of blue in sight. In this moment, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. With resignation, Pinkie Pie lowered her head and offered up her forelegs in surrender.

Author's Note

A thing I find frustrating about this universe is how inconsistent the fame of the Mane 6 is. Nobody ever recognizes the six ponies who saved all of Equestria multiple times and have stained glass windows dedicated to their exploits in the national capitol? My interpretation is that since Equestria lacks TV, the average pony has a harder time recognizing famous ponies on the street, unless they are celebrities they are fans of or very distinctive like the Princesses. Even with TV and the Internet, the average American would not recognize Stephen Breyer in the street despite his importance to the national government. But if some nerdo shouted "Hey, is that Associate Justice of the Supreme Court the Honorable Stephen Breyer?", people might turn their heads to look. Okay, probably not. That wasn't a good example.